


Two-Bit Losers

by FythyrWisp



Series: Dirt Road Rejects [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Dead Bobby Singer, F/F, F/M, Gay Castiel, M/M, Mechanic Dean, Openly Bisexual Dean Winchester, Principal Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-10-13 03:11:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 50
Words: 210,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10505220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FythyrWisp/pseuds/FythyrWisp
Summary: Two years down the line... Dean's auto shop is growing in leaps and bounds, where Claire works when she's not working on her business major, and Cas is the principal at the new middle school, where Ben is walking the edge of a bad crowd. It's hard to balance family and work when the two intersect every day.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> (A/N: STOP... This is a sequel to Dirt Road Rejects. Go read that first.
> 
>  
> 
> This is set two years and a couple months after DRR. I'm spelling out everything so you're not starting lost.
> 
>  
> 
> Don't forget, I smut sometimes. It happens.
> 
>  
> 
> Okay, now that you've had your warning, here you go. 
> 
>  
> 
> As frequently as I post, unlike DRR, I did not build up a stash of a dozen chapters before posting, and I'm now at zero pre-written content. I'll try to post every few days or so, but I occasionally bust out a couple chapters a day, so there will be a new update soon. 
> 
>  
> 
> Love you guys! Be kind! Thanks for reading! FW)

* * *

** **

** Three Months Prior **

* * *

"Crap... Hang on, it slipped off." Kevin whispered gently, traveling down her body quickly. 

"Okay, fine, you were right. We won't wait so long next time." Margaret replied, as she held still. 

Kevin carefully inserted his fingers, palm down, gently searching for the slick material, "I can't feel it." 

"Well it didn't just jump off and walk out." Margaret fussed. 

"I'm trying, just try to hold still." 

Margaret squirmed slightly with a hard flinch and a gasp as the back of his knuckles rasped a small patch of texture. 

"Sorry, did that hurt?" 

"No..." her voice came back strained and higher toned, "That's actually really good." 

"Okay," Kevin said softly, "Definitely going to play with that later, but, just give me a minute to get it out." 

He pressed in as deep as he could easily go, still searching, setting his free hand on Margaret's stomach. 

"Maybe if I stand up?" Margaret suggested. 

Kevin shook his head, "No way. If I can get the end of it, I can make sure it doesn't spill." 

"I'm still going for an extra pill after this like last time." 

"Right, but why take extra chances? Just give me a second." 

Kevin had barely finished speaking when her body suddenly gripped his fingers snuggly. 

"Sorry!" she squeaked, breathing heavily, "You bumped it again." 

"Just think about something that turns you off, and I swear, I'll make it up to you later." Kevin replied, trying to stay patient. 

Finding a loose slip of an edge, he renewed his efforts, looking for some hint of the open end of the condom, unfortunately giving a slight twist to his hand, as Margaret gave a strong, suppressed moan. 

"Kev, hurry up." she whimpered. 

"I got it, just hang on one second." 

"I can't!" 

"Margaret, chill, babe." 

She squirmed again as his hand moved, still trying to find the opening. 

"...can't!... Kevin, please! I'm too close!" 

As Margaret's body clamped down in ripples around his fingers, shuddering deeply with a strained moan, Kevin quickly dropped his mouth to just above his hand, working at her sensitive flesh, intending to make the most of it. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but in a moment he couldn't help but wonder as he felt his own fluids seep out due her contractions, coating his fingers. 

"Oh, shit..." he breathed. 

* * *

** Now **

* * *

Dean knocked loudly on the open door, leaning into Ben's bedroom, "C'mon, you had all summer to sleep. You miss the bus the first day back, you're gonna make a habit of it." 

A muffled grumble that sounded quite close to 'five more minutes' came out from under one of the pillows. 

Dean looked to the floor next to him at the expectant dog, and pointed to the bed, "Nick, get him up." 

Nick, a very large, two year old lab mix with a spot over one eye, bounded happily into the room at Dean’s command, immediately jumping onto the bed, digging and nosing at Ben until the large twelve year old was rolled out onto the floor. She continued her loving assault on the boy as she followed him, until he pushed her back and got to his feet. 

"I wish Cas never showed you how to teach her that." 

"And I wish your alarm clocks didn't mysteriously smash themselves on the floor. Breakfast. Go." 

Ben grumbled his way downstairs. 

After packing away more food than Dean thought was humanly possible, Ben dressed, spiked his hair, and barely made it to the bus on time. Picking his way to the last quarter of seats, he dropped into one next to his best friend. 

"Bad news, man." Jack said, bumping the outer side of his own fist against Ben's in something of a secret handshake, "They're holding you back. You get to repeat sixth grade." 

"That's crap. My grades are better than yours." 

"Yeah, but your handwriting sucks, that's why it gets messed up when I copy off you." Jack replied, "Hey, how come you don't just ride in with Principal Smoke-crack?" 

"Because he sings in the car. Claire told me. And it's old people stuff." 

"Like Ozzy?" 

"Not cool enough for Ozzy." Ben chuckled. 

"I got Mrs. Durst for homeroom, who'd you get?" 

"Durst." 

"Nice." Jack said slyly, "You think they'll have to split us up like last year?" 

"I hope not, I had some really good ideas for this year." Ben said with a laugh. 

* * *

Claire stopped outside the Danes residence, sending a text, but leaving the engine running. 

Margaret soon joined her, looking exhausted. 

"You okay? You still look sick." 

"Yeah, I'm fine." Margaret answered, "Just really blah... No luck on the job hunt, either." 

"Well, it came up in one of the open discussions after a management class, about resumes and red flags, I can go over yours and help you make it look like what they want to see. And we might need someone working the desk at the shop pretty soon." 

"I will totally take you up on the resume help, but I don't know if I want to work at the shop. Kind of a lot of testosterone all in one place." Margaret answered. 

Claire scoffed, "They're used to me, so they'd treat you like a princess." 

"I don't want that, I just want a decent paycheck, you know?" 

"Yeah... Well, what are you good at?" 

"Um... I volunteered at the library a lot one year, so I can handle the Dewey decimal system pretty well. And I guess helping people check out might be good for retail. I'm not much good with computers, aside from social media." 

"Social media is becoming more important every day. Maybe you could do advertising." Claire suggested. 

"Yeah?... Running accounts for businesses, trying to get people to spend money there?... That might be good... How would you put that on a resume, though?" 

"Ample experience sitting on my ass posting to Facebook and bitching about my manicure on Snapchat. It was wrecked A.F." Claire replied. 

Margaret laughed hard, "Yeah, that would impress somebody." 

Claire shrugged, "There are ways to phrase it to keep old people from going 'oh my goodness, another self absorbed millennial.' It just takes time." 

After a moment, Margaret brought up what they were both thinking, "Kevin isn't at the shop much, right?" 

"Not lately. He was for a while after you guys split, but Dean got tired of him moping around, and said it wasn't a hangout." 

Margaret nodded, "Well, in that case, yeah, I suppose I could give it a shot... Just no grabbing people, right?" 

"Well, Ivan's single again." Claire smirked. She pulled into a parking space between the two lecture halls they'd be in, and grabbed her things from the back seat, "When are you done?" 

"Two o'clock, you?" 

"Three fifteen." 

"I'll hit the library, and meet you back here then." 

* * *

"... But when the company sent the uniform shirts, they didn't put Alford, just Alfie. I didn't care anyway, and Bobby thought it was funny, so it stuck." Alfie explained. 

"I guess that could be good, you know, if anyone comes looking for you about the art stuff, they'd never know it was you." Ivan said, "But even Claire calls you that... Is that all the time? She doesn't use your real name?" 

"Yeah, that's what she calls me." 

Ivan glanced toward the hallway, noting Dean's office door was closed. 

"...Even in bed?" Ivan asked quietly. 

Alfie chuckled, "She calls me a lot of stuff in bed." 

"Yeah, I bet 'useless' is on the list." 

"Your mom's name is on the list." 

Ivan tossed a red rag at him as he slid out from under the car, "That says a lot more about you than it does about my mom." 

"At least I'm not ending things with a different girl every two months." 

"Nah, Katie was four months." Ivan corrected him. 

"Oh, well at that rate..." 

"Shut up, man." 

"No, c'mon, what was wrong with Katie?" 

Ivan shook his head, "Well, for one, she's got money, and that sets a pretty high bar. Not one I'm ever likely to reach either. Girls like that only hang out with older, hopeless guys long enough to piss of their parents and get their attention, they don't stick around, and they end up engaged to some preppy tennis player who's family goes to the same country club. Then, well... She was in Claire's class in high school, and she bought into all that shit about Claire being responsible for that kid going nuts and playing chicken with the peterbuilt." 

"You dumped her over that?" 

"The way I see it, Claire can really piss people off. Maybe not you, since she's got your balls in her purse, but there's no way the kid went apeshit enough to try to kill her because they broke up. He had to be apeshit to begin with." Ivan explained, "The money thing didn't help." 

Alfie nodded, going fairly quiet, "Did Kevin ever talk to you about any of that?" 

"A bit, yeah. It was that long drive for that first gig." 

"Okay, so, at the rate you're burning through available women in this town, we're going to have to import more of them." 

Ivan chuckled as footsteps approached outside, crunching in the gravel. 

A young man with a round face, somewhat stocky, but muscular build, short, dirty blond hair, and glasses came in, carrying three different alternators. He set them on the work bench at the back wall, "Okay, so one of these has to work, right?" 

"Hey, Randy... Why'd you pull three?" Ivan asked. 

"Because I pulled two before you got here, and they were already busted." 

"We don't have any new ones?" Alfie asked. 

Randy shook his head, "Nah, Lucas was looking everywhere, there's one listed in the inventory, but we can't find it." 

"Great." Ivan muttered, "Probably one of the ones Kip swiped before he got fired." 

"We redid the whole inventory after that, how could we have missed any?" Alfie asked. 

Randy shrugged, "Maybe you guys put it back in the wrong place? I don't know. But if you want to look for it, it would speed things up to use a new one." 

At the sound of the front door, Alfie went down the hallway. 

* * *

Cas was moving quickly through the combined block of rooms that made up the office of the school, doing his best to keep everything under control while guiding the new vice principal through the tasks she would be taking on. Last year's vice principal had finished out the year, just barely, but had had to leave the position due to stress related illness. 

One of the desk workers had flagged him down, "Cas, in your office with Paula, there are three students you need to speak to about an inappropriate drawing." 

Cas gave her a look, "It's the first day. How bad was it that we can't just give them a warning?" 

"Take Hannah with you." Lenore replied. 

"Why?" 

Lenore raised and eyebrow and turned back to her computer to answer the ringing phone. 

Cas shook his head and waved Hannah to follow him, as she'd been doing, and went into his office. Catching sight of three students in question, he immediately ducked back into the hallway, tugging Hannah with him, "You'll have to take the lead on this one, but I'll sit in." 

"Why?" Hannah asked, confused. 

"Because I'm involved with one of the parents. The main reason I was given the job was that we had a problem with favoritism at the elementary school, we can't have that even seem to continue here." Cas explained. 

With an understanding nod, Hannah followed him back into the room. 

Cas stood to the side as Hannah approached the front of the desk, turning to face the three boys that sat before her. Paula quietly slipped out past Cas, gesturing to a piece of paper sitting on his desk. 

"Jack Lytton, Xander Stansfield, and Ben Winchester..." Cas said quietly, pointing each of them out, "Boys, this is our new vice principal, Hannah Rowland." 

Jack and Xander appeared unimpressed, and Ben simply looked bored. 

Hannah picked up the piece of paper sitting on Cas' desk, "Someone draws cartoons... 'Principal Smoke-crack'... You all should know this is inappropriate. Who drew it?" 

"Found it in the hallway." Jack answered. His tone seemed to imply he was asking her to suggest otherwise. 

"It's a shame it isn't signed. Someone could be very funny if they had a subject that wasn't so disrespectful. A comic about the school mascot, something family friendly, that would be a good addition to the student website, but this? This is just..." Hannah examined the drawing closer, "Is that a body piercing?" 

Xander snorted in an attempt to hide his amusement, Ben looked away, and Jack kept a cold look directly at her face. 

* * *

Dean parked in a neighboring lot, and walked quickly, ducking into the shop. He passed several rows of glass cases, making his way to the back, stopping at the main counter. 

The attendant greeted him quickly. 

"Yeah, I'm making a payment, it's under 'Winchester.'" 

"All right. It came in yesterday, would you like to take a look?" 

"Yeah." Dean replied with a nod. 

"Okay," she said, continuing with the computer, "Go ahead and swipe your card... And I'll be right back so you can check if it fits." 

Dean gave a small chuckle and a shake of his head. She returned quickly with a small open box on a tray with identifying paperwork, and set it down on the glass case. 

Dean pulled the ring from the box, unable hide a smile, and looked it over carefully, "There's supposed to be an engraving inside the band." 

"Oh. I'm sorry, we can do that here, though." she picked up the paperwork, looking for the details, "Is this correct?" 

Dean checked the papers she held up, "Yeah, that's it." 

"And the rest, the setting, the size, is that all correct?" 

"Well, I can't really check the size until I ask the question, y'know." Dean replied with a smile that said his mind was elsewhere. 

A look of confusion settled on her features, "Sir, that's... Um, that's a men's ring, not an engagement ring." 

"Yeah, well, actually, it's both." Dean answered with a nod, setting it back in the box, "I hope he likes it." 

* * *

Ivan waited next to the register at the diner, for what seemed like an unusually long time before Julie appeared. 

She'd adopted a much shorter haircut, and used far less make up, among other changes since the day Claire had dragged her across a parking lot to cram her into the cab of his truck. 

Today, over her waitress uniform, she had her daughter strapped to her back. 

"No babysitter, again?" Ivan asked. 

Julie shook her head, "No... Any time I tell my mom to stop feeding her junk, my mom throws a fit, and won't watch her." 

"That sucks." Ivan replied. 

After she'd become the talk of the town, and started working at the diner, it hadn't been difficult to guess why he'd seen her in the midst of an argument when they'd first met. With her new social status as a pariah, even during her pregnancy, Ivan had made an effort to go against the town standard and speak to her occasionally, especially once he realized it had been getting him disapproving looks from older women just for saying hi to the town harlot. 

He found an almost sick thrill in giving them something to glare at. There hadn't been as much judgement in his life since parting ways with his family, and he almost missed the attention. 

Julie quickly had two large paper bags and a drink carrier on the counter and rang him up. 

Ivan grabbed one bag, tucked the other under his arm, and picked up the drink carrier, "Well, see you around, Julie." 

On his way out the door, he passed three of the town busy bodies in a booth, muttering about Julie, which always seemed to pick up on days she brought her daughter in. 

He could easily overhear one of them, but he couldn't pick out who had said it, "... _Such_ a pretty baby. It's so sad her mother couldn't give her a better start in life." 

One of the older women stopped him on the way to the door, "Oh! Ivan, do you have a moment?" 

"Sure, Mrs Grant. What's up?" he asked, coming to a stop. 

"I saw you out trimming the lawn at the Roberts' place two days ago, how is Helen these days?" 

Ivan smiled with false politeness, "Well, if you really want to know, maybe you should ask her to come out to lunch with you sometime." 

"I'm sure she has a busy schedule, I wouldn't want to intrude." Mrs Grant replied. 

"Right." Ivan answered, "Or, you just want to talk about her, like you do to everyone else. People can hear you, you know." 

Mrs Grant's expression went sour as he started for the door, but he threw back over his shoulder, loud enough for the whole diner to hear, "By the way, your hemorrhoid cream is about to fall out of your purse." 

* * *

Dean was at his desk, going over yet another stack of paperwork when he heard Claire hurry down the hallway to pick up the shop phone. 

He ignored it until she appeared in his doorway, "Hey, can we order a part for a tractor?" 

"What brand?" 

"John Deere." 

"Yeah, probably. Don't promise anything. Freemont?" 

"Yeah." 

"I'll call him back in a few." 

With a nod, she went back to the office, relayed Dean's message, and started back for the garage. She hung in his doorway a moment longer, "Are you still looking for somebody for the desk?" 

"Why? Tired of cars?" Dean asked. 

"Never. But Margaret's looking for a job." 

"Not sure I want to open that can of worms with a ten foot pole." 

"Kevin doesn't work here, and he hasn't been around." 

"No, but Alfie does work here, and word gets around." Dean replied. Looking up, he found Claire had only moved to cross her arms, "Okay, bring her in with a resume, I'll give her a chance to impress me. But she has to be competent and focused, I'm gonna expect the same out of whoever's on desk as everyone else here." 

"Are you sure you want to throw 'competent' in there, then? Because Randy and Alfie were playing catch with a snake a little while ago." 

Dean looked horrified for a split second. 

"It wasn't venomous." 

"They let it go, right?" 

"Does the back of Ivan's truck count?" 

Dean got out of his chair, moving quickly toward the garage as Claire jumped back, getting out of his way. 

"Okay," Dean said loudly as he left the hallway, entering the garage, "New rule, no throwing anything that breathes. You morons go get the snake and take it down to the ranch and put it over the gate. I'm not messing around, here." 

"Can we still throw Lucas on your roof if he holds his breath?" Alfie asked. 

Dean gave him a look of intense irritation, "No. No throwing stuff that breathes, even if it's not breathing. We shouldn't even have to have this rule." 

Randy leaned toward Alfie, "Now we'll never get our frisbee back." 

"Okay, so, what about dead stuff?" Lucas asked, poking his head out from under a car, "Like if I taxidermy a bird into something that'll glide?" 

"Are you seriously going to do that?" 

"Um..." 

Dean was completely finished with the conversation, "Go let the snake go. No more animals. You kill it, you eat it. You torture it, you're fired, and I turn you in. Only exception is the dangerous ones, do what you have to, and try to make it quick. End of story." 

* * *

"Did you leave the couch at all while I was gone?" Linda asked, hearing the television running. 

Kevin lifted his head from the floor, "Yeah, I went for a run, then I looked at that website you sent me." 

"You shouldn't have taken that year off school. You're going to be out of the habit." 

"School's just a back up plan, mom." 

Linda shook her head as she headed for the kitchen. 

"You'll come around, you know I can talk you into anything." 

"Yeah, right." she called from the kitchen, "You only talked me into it because the account for college had an age stipulation. And if you hadn't been born two weeks late, you could have enrolled right away." 

Kevin shrugged, "I was comfortable." 

"That makes one of us." 

Linda came back into the living room and turned off the television. 

"Family meeting?" Kevin asked, sitting up. 

"The website I sent you, are you interested?" 

Kevin ran a hand over his face, "It's kind of hard to care about anything right now." 

"We can go over to the admissions office tomorrow and see what they say, it doesn't hurt to ask. There are plenty of kids your age who don't have a solid plan." 

"I have a solid plan. I'm going to drift through life one adventure at a time. I'm gonna start by becoming private detective, then I'll be a call-girl. Then I'll use proceeds from the book about both to explore the jungles of southern Nevada." 

Linda shook her head, "That's not my son talking, that's his friend, Claire. But she's got a plan and she's actually going to college." 

Kevin rolled his eyes, "Okay, so, if I do this, the tuition comes out, what about college later?" 

"You can do both. It might even be better this way, let you get some direction." 

Kevin nodded, "And give me something to fall back on if I major in philosophy, right?" 

"If you try to major in philosophy, I'm taking whatever's left to the casino." 

Kevin shrugged, "Fine by me, I'll go with you." 

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Yay! Got this one up before my knock-t-f-out pill completely kicked in!
> 
> Trying to catch up, adjusting to a new medication, so it's slow going. Should go a bit faster now, though.
> 
> Thanks for reading! FW)

* * *

Ben wandered into the shop, stopping in Dean's office. Nick had followed by his knee since he'd entered the greater salvage yard, jumping easily over the low fence around the front of the house. 

He handed Dean a piece of paper and dropped dramatically into a chair. 

"You got a detention? ...How the hell do you get a detention on the first day?" Dean asked over the paper. 

Ben shrugged. 

"Cut to the chase, Ben. You're overloading me with details." Dean said, sarcastically. 

"Ask Cas. He's gonna tell you everything anyway." 

"Okay, fine, did anybody get hurt?" 

"No." 

"Who else was involved?" 

"Jack and Xander." 

"Go to the house and do your homework." Dean said wearily, "We'll talk later." 

* * *

A dark blue Cadillac straddled the sides of the pit, guide rails jutting up from the concrete, guarding the tires from slipping over the edges. Ivan was in the pit, and had just finished draining the fluids, beginning to clean up the tools. The car was ready for the yard. 

Alfie lined up the back of the tow truck with the bay door, with Lucas guiding him, and set down the long flatbed, grabbing the cables and starting the winch to extend his reach. Once there was enough length, he hooked it up to the car to pull it out of the bay. 

"Ivan, watch your head, we're pulling it out." Alfie called over the sound of the machine. 

"Yeah, go ahead." Ivan called back. 

Slowly the car began to roll, clearing the guide rails easily, and was soon completely out of the bay, being pulled up the ramp as the mechanical sounds changed with the increased strain of fighting gravity. 

Claire came to the end of the pit and dropped into a crouch, "Hey, did you run off with my ten millimeter socket?" 

Ivan checked through the bag of tools he was packing up, finding the socket, and moved to pass it back to her. 

With the sound of something snapping, Ivan looked back at the vehicle as it began to come down the ramp again at a much higher speed, grabbed Claire roughly by one shoulder and pulled hard, landing them both in the bottom of the pit just as the car rolled, uncontrolled, over them, struck a support beam, and came back at an angle, dropping one tire over the rail, hanging down into the pit above them. 

There was a flurry of swearing and rushed footsteps above them as Claire immediately shoved away from Ivan and tried to get to her feet, shaking. 

"You okay? Are you hurt?" Ivan asked, getting up. 

"Just give me some space." Claire answered, trying to calm her breathing. 

"Yeah, well, where am I gonna go? We're kinda stuck." 

"Claire?" Alfie was on the shop floor on the side away from the fallen in tire. Seeing both of them looking to be in good health, he relaxed somewhat, "Stay calm, Randy wants to try using the lift to get it back up and we'll push it out." 

Claire leaned back against the wall of the pit, still shaken, feeling fairly claustrophobic as she heard a deeper, but still muffled voice come echoing through the shop, and soon Dean's face replaced Alfie's, from the opposite direction. 

"Everybody's fine, right?" Dean asked. 

"Yeah. Now move the damn car." Claire growled. 

Rather than take issue with her attitude, Dean directed them both to sit at the safest spot in the pit he could think of, and stood to direct the effort to remove the car. 

"If we put the chains on the side that's up, and use the lift, we can pull it over onto it's side-" Lucas started. 

Dean cut him off, "No. You're gonna make a huge mess, pull it up from the wheel that fell in, get it back on the track. Otherwise the whole thing is going to slip, and the side of the car is gonna block the pit completely." 

"We can't get them out before we move the car, can we?" Randy asked. 

"Not enough space. It's over the ladder." Dean answered. 

Alfie came back, carrying a long tow chain. He stopped at the front bumper, toward the interior of the shop, and passed the end under the car, where Claire took hold of it, "Pass it through at the gap by the back tire, we'll try to lift by the axle." 

"You're gonna shred the bottom of the door when it lifts." Ivan replied. 

"It's junk," Dean's voice came from somewhere above, "Nobody cares about the paint." 

Claire passed Ivan the end of the chain, and kept it in order as Alfie fed it through the small space. Ivan passed the end through the small space to Dean, and continued to feed it through as Dean took the chain back to the lift in the fourth bay. 

"Hey," Alfie called over, still passing the chain down an arm length at a time, "If the weight goes on at an angle, are we gonna mess up the lift?" 

"What?" Dean asked, turning around. 

"It's pulling something from way over here, not just picking up a car straight up from the floor." 

"I don't really have time to set up a pulley system right now." Dean answered. 

"Nobody's bleeding." 

Dean ran the back of his hand across his forehead, "Okay, look, we do this, then the lift is strictly off limits until I get somebody out here from the company to look it over, explain exactly how we used it wrong, and have them tell us whether or not it's safe. Everybody got that?" 

He looked around, receiving a chorus of nods from the three he could see, and a verbal affirmative from Ivan, below the Cadillac. 

The chain was wrapped carefully around the large metal prongs of the lift, and fastened meticulously. Dean raised the lift, watching the car move slowly. 

When the tire was high enough to clear the rail, the angle pulled the car closer to the lift, dragging the other three wheels into place, and settled onto the cement floor as he stopped it's ascent. 

The moment the chain was removed from the car, a group effort was made to push it out of the bay manually. It was moving slowly, but steadily, and had only cleared the back half of the pit when Dean noticed Claire, hanging near the back, still rattled. 

Dean went to the back of the pit as Ivan jokingly mocked the ones still pushing the car, and crouched, offering his hands. She accepted the help, and he easily pulled her out, not at all surprised when she made a beeline for the nearest open door. 

He waited until Ivan was up the ladder before pulling him aside, "Okay, what happened?" 

"Uh, sounded like the winch cable snapped." Ivan replied, looking at the Cadillac as Lucas moved truck out of the way, and Randy and Alfie continued to push it further from the shop. 

"Was Claire in the pit before that?" 

"No, I pulled her in. She was right on the edge of it, and..." 

"She was gonna get hit." Dean finished for him, grimly. 

"Yeah." 

"Okay... You moved fast. Good job." 

"She's probably pissed." 

"How do you figure?" 

Ivan gave him a loaded look, "C'mon, Dean, I figured it out the time she slammed Randy into the wall for coming up behind her too fast. She's got baggage. What was it, her mom's boyfriend?" 

"That's her business." 

Ivan scoffed, "It's always the mom's boyfriend. Hell, one tried it with me, but after a kick in the jewels, bastard lost interest." 

After a moment's shock at the sudden disclosure, Dean nodded, "She'll be fine. Just give her some room to calm down." 

* * *

"A nipple ring?" Dean repeated, quietly. 

Cas nodded from his spot in Dean's armchair. 

"Little shit." He muttered. He moved to the bottom of the stairs, and loudly called Ben down. 

Ben's door swung open, and he slowly came down the stairs, a nonchalant look on his face. 

Dean pointed to the couch, and Ben complied as Dean continued to pace, "Who drew the picture, Ben?" 

"We found it." 

"So who, besides you, at that school, would know Cas has a piercing?" Dean asked quietly. 

Ben didn't answer, instead finding the coffee table interesting. 

"Ben, this isn't funny. You better start talking." 

Ben shrugged, "I dunno, maybe somebody saw it at the city pool, who cares?" 

"I haven't been to the city pool since I was a teenager." Cas replied, "And due to certain stigmas regarding gay men, I make it a habit to stay fully dressed around children." 

Dean nodded, gesturing to Cas, "The only reason you know is because he got hurt. That's medical, you have no right to tell anybody. Nevermind the fact that he got hurt protecting you. How would you feel if one of your friends went around telling all the kids at your school you had some heart shaped birthmark on your ass?" 

Ben chuckled, "Chicks would dig that." 

"Ben, do you get that you could put his career in danger?" Dean asked firmly. 

"I didn't tell them, I just said it would be funny to put it in, so Xander did. I didn't even say anything when he put it on the wrong side." Ben answered defensively, "So, how is that wrong?" 

"You said you found it in the hallway." Dean said. 

Ben shrugged, "Xander drew it." 

"And the Principal Smoke-crack part?" 

"Jack started it." Ben replied quietly. 

Dean shook his head, "How do you kids even know what a crack pipe looks like?" 

"The internet, dad. Obviously." 

"Don't you roll your eyes at me." Dean said gruffly, "Detention for this crap at school is one thing, but there are two sides to this, so, yeah, you're getting it at home, too. Go upstairs, get all your electronic crap out of your room, now." 

"What about homework?" Ben protested. 

"You can use the desktop. I'm gonna have Randy put a keystroke logger on it, so don't even think about it." 

Ben shook his head, "Think about what?" 

"Whatever shit you're thinking about doing next. Now, I mean it, all of it, even the mp3 player." 

"This is a load of crap!" Ben snapped, heading up the stairs. 

As the sound of Ben shuffling through his belongings upstairs grew louder, Cas shifted in his seat, "Maybe I should go." 

"I don't want you to feel like you have to, Cas. You don't deserve this." Dean said quietly, "Half the shit he pulled last year... I really thought he was past this, but I'm starting to think it's his friends." 

"There was plenty that was Ben's doing alone. And I know you're trying, but this isn't your fault, either." Cas said, getting to his feet. 

Dean took a long look up the stairs. 

"Does he get picked on?" Dean's voice was barely a whisper, in his hushed, worried tone Cas had heard late at night in his ear too many times in the last year, "About us?" 

"I asked him that last year, he said no... As much as it pains me to say it, I'd think it'd be more likely to find him being the one picking on someone right now." 

Dean swallowed and nodded, his own actions and his father's coming to mind immediately, "I, um... I don't know what else to do... He seems fine, then he starts this crap again." 

"He's been through a lot... It took Claire years to open up, at least with Ben he never felt he had to hide it." 

Dean didn't give voice to his thoughts, but he wondered. Ben had seemed fine, the nightmares had stopped, or at least, he said they had. Everything had been looking up. He and Jack had both been recognized by their principal in the fifth grade for stopping a classmate who'd been terrorizing several younger children on their bus. They'd been able to put the past behind them, and at first it seemed they were both doing better for it. 

He wasn't sure if Ben was acting out about school, life, Lisa, or Cas. Whatever was causing his behavior, however, was desperate for correction. 

* * *

Kevin looked at several of the course options as the man continued to talk. He had no interest in learning to repair air conditioners, and his mind wandered until something caught his eye. 

"You guys have a beauty school in your trade school?" 

The man behind the desk chuckled, glancing at Linda, "Yeah, well, working in a salon is a trade, ladies need training for it, right?" 

"I wouldn't know." Linda replied tersely. 

The man cleared his throat, straightening his posture, "My mistake. But yes, we offer a wide range of careers, so, if your girlfriend wants to tag along, learn to do a cut, color, perms, nails, waxing, or whatever, you guys could split the gas money, and both get an education. Also, the trainees need practice, so it's a good chance to grab a cheap haircut." 

"Yeah, I don't have a girlfriend." Kevin replied quickly. 

"Stop in for a haircut, you might get one." 

Kevin scoffed, "Sign me up." 

"Great. So, A/C repair?" 

"No. Give me the beauty school classes." 

The man laughed hard, not noticing the irate look on Linda's face, "I know you got a hell of a drive, but aren't there any girls in your town?" 

"Plenty." Kevin answered, "But only two salons, and one sucks. So fix me up, I got a market to tap." 

"Right, and that's the only thing you're looking to tap?" he asked with a sly grin. 

Kevin looked him in the eye, "Why? What are you doing Friday?" 

The grin drained from the man's face and he turned back to the computer. "We have our, uh... introductory course starting next week, and there are three slots left open." 

"Excuse us for one moment." Linda said quickly, tugging Kevin out of his chair, and around a corner. 

Kevin waited until she'd stopped and faced him, "What?" 

"Are you seriously going to do this?" 

"Claire loves her job, and she's breaking gender roles." Kevin replied with a shrug. 

"You're not Claire." 

"No, I'm not. I'm the guy two girly lesbians drag along to the Sephora. I'm the one they call because one of their little sisters needs a guy to back off. No car repairs involved. But you know what I'm really good at? Advice. And who do women talk to when they need to talk? If I start working at a salon, I'm gonna have plenty of business, from like, every girl in my graduating class, for starters." 

"You really want to work at a salon? For how long? How do I know you're going to stick with this?" Linda asked, on the verge of objection. 

"I like talking to people. Girls like talking to me. This works." 

"You'll be on your feet all day. You'll have horrible customers, and some people will treat you like crap." 

Kevin thought it over for a moment, "Yeah, no. Still doing this." 

Kevin started back for the cubicle where they'd been, sitting down immediately. The man looked up from his phone as Linda followed Kevin in and sat down. 

"Sign me up." 

"Are you sure about this, kid?" the man asked. 

"He said sign him up." Linda said firmly. 

* * *

Margaret slipped through the front door of the shop, hearing a loud rumble of the bay doors opening in the garage as Dean started setting up for the day. 

"Dean?... You around?" she called. 

Dean appeared in the middle of the dark hallway, reaching through the office doorway to turn on the lights, "In here. The four stooges will be here in a few minutes, and it doesn't take them long to get loud." 

Margaret nodded, and followed him into his office, setting her purse down, and passing him her meager resume. 

"Library... you stopped volunteering, not enough time?" Dean asked. 

"Too quiet. It was actually making me jumpy." she said quietly, "Sorry, I don't have a lot to list on there." 

"You're just getting started in life, kid. One year of college, at the same age, you'd have me beat already. Only having one thing on here, the library, doesn't matter nearly as much as the fact that even as a flighty, impatient teenager, you stayed there for over a year, didn't goof off and get asked to leave, didn't get bored, or whine about it cutting into your TV time. This is good. Maybe need to work on your confidence a bit. Did Claire tell you what all needs done at the desk?" 

"She said I'd have to learn the phone, and intake, how to set up a parts order, but you'd go over orders before they get placed." 

"Right. It's crazy sometimes, other times it gets pretty boring, but if we have a slow day, you can either cut some hours or find something else to do. Do you drive?" 

"Yeah, my mom's car. I don't have one." 

Dean nodded, "And what's your class schedule look like?" 

"Check the back." she said, gesturing to the papers he held. 

Dean flipped over the papers, gave her available times a once-over and nodded, "Okay. Yeah, I can put you in for part time, and if you have a break or during the summer, you want to try for full time, we can swing it. When can you start?" 

* * *

"Xander, hey." Ben said, playfully popping the side of his head as he moved past him to the seat behind him and Jack, "My dad got it out of me, but as far as I know, they can't officially blame you for it." 

Xander shrugged, "Doesn't matter, my mom probably can't even find the house phone anymore, so nobody's gonna call her." 

Jack shook his head, "That's gross. Why don't you just throw stuff out when she's not looking?" 

"Because she'll freak if I move anything." Xander snorted. 

"You could ditch and live with your grandma, and she'd never know you left." Jack said, turning to stare out the window. 

"I could walk out right in front of her and she'd never care that I left, unless I was carrying one of her five crock-pots." Xander said dismissively. 

"What about you, Jack? Your parents get pissed?" Ben asked. 

"Nah. Just grounded me for a couple days." Jack said quietly, "My sister said they went easy on me." 

"Your sister sucks." Xander replied. 

"Everybody knows that. It's not news." Jack replied, "But she's not here, so my mom's all crying or whatever, and then she goes out and gets me a new video game any time she starts missing Kayla. I just have to figure out how to get them to let me switch rooms while she's at college." 

* * *

Claire awoke to the feeling of a gentle touch of a slightly calloused hand against her face and whispers of her name. She shoved Alfie's arm away, sat up immediately, and tried to back away from him, finding herself against a headboard. 

"Sorry... I think we missed the alarm." Alfie said softly. 

Her heart in her throat, she took a quick look around. She was still fully dressed from the day before, and had been asleep on the bed next to him. 

"It's okay, I know... You were having a nightmare." 

Claire gave him a confused look as she started to calm down. 

"You were talking in your sleep again." 

She noticed the look on his face was far from what she normally saw when he looked at her. "What did I say?" 

Alfie shook his head, "Doesn't matter now. Do you have any classes today?" 

"It matters, tell me." 

He stalled, tightening his lips and shifting in place, "Um... I don't know if... Look, can I just-" 

Alfie reached for her, trying to pull her into a hug, only to have her push him back again. She found herself shaking slightly. "I want to know." 

Resigned, he dropped his arms, "You said not to touch you... And that you couldn't breathe. You said 'You're crushing me.'" 

Alfie shifted the pillows and moved to sit next to her, offering his hand. 

Claire took his hand, rubbing her face to wake up, "Sorry." 

"It's not your fault." Alfie said quietly. 

"You could do better." 

"No." he replied firmly, "That's bullshit and you know it." 

"That's the truth... Somebody who doesn't wake up in the middle of a panic attack and punch you in the eye." 

"That only happened one time." Alfie replied, still sleepy, "And I'm getting really tired of going over this every few months." 

"Sorry." 

Alfie wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close, "I'm gonna give you a pass on this one, since you're barely awake, but you promised not to talk like that anymore." 

Claire nodded against his neck, "Because it breaks your heart." 

"It really does... Not that I mind reminding you what you mean to me, I just don't want that to be why." 

Claire snaked an arm behind him, squeezing him tightly, "I love you." 

"Yeah?... Do you also love waffles?" 

"Not as much as I love the guy who puts them in the toaster." 

"So... waffles are your side-chick?" 

Claire chuckled, knocking him over sideways, landing on her side in front of him, "No, waffles are an inanimate object. Kevin's my side-chick. My dad figured that out, remember?" 

Alfie laughed, "We can't have the same side-chick." 

"Oh... Well, how do we tell Kevin that?" 

"You're just going to have to let him down easy." 

"No way, you dump him. He's gonna think I'm ditching him for Margaret." 

"No, you dump him. I had him first." 

Claire made a face and leaned away, "Oh my god, don't remind me about that." 

"That's not what I meant." Alfie said quickly, "C'mon, we were joking, I just meant I've known him longer than you." 

"Right." 

"Claire..." Alfie caught her as she was moving away, rolling over her, and pulling her onto him as he settled on his back, "You know it's not like that." 

Claire glanced at the clock on the bedside table, "What time do you have to be at work?" 

Alfie shrugged, trying to hide a grin, "I could call in sick, why?" 

"What do you mean, 'why?' I need waffles." 

"You mean literal waffles, not code for anything?" Alfie asked, making Claire roll her eyes, "Well, can you blame me?... How much time do you have?" 

"Class at eleven-fifteen." Claire replied. 

Alfie grinned, "Okay, waffles... And then I'm calling in sick." 

"Don't you dare. Margaret's interviewing today, she'll need someone to train her." 

Alfie groaned as he started to get up, "Ivan can train her." 

"Alfie-" 

"It's still weird for me, okay? I'm the one who hears the details on his side. It's harder to play nice." 

"You still let her crash over here after they broke up, so you don't have a leg to stand on, there." 

Alfie took a deep breath, "Did she ever say why?" 

"What?" 

"Has she ever given you a solid reason why she broke up with him?" Alfie asked, "Because that's why I let her hang out that night, I was hoping she'd explain it. The only thing she told Kevin was that it wasn't working." 

"I never asked." 

Alfie looked confused, "You didn't ask?" 

Claire shrugged, "None of my business." 

"You're not curious?" 

"All she ever said to me was that she didn't want to rely on him. And I can see that, I guess." 

"Yeah, but you have reasons not to want to rely on people, she doesn't." 

Claire scoffed, "You don't know. She obviously has her own reasons for whatever she does. But you kept the friend shtick up, so you can't just take Kevin's side. Get your ass to work and help her learn her new job." 

"Waffles first?" Alfie asked, moving through the open door. 

"Yeah, but just waffles." 

"We'll have some time while they're in the toaster." 

"Nice try, waffle-boy. I still have to go home for my books." Claire replied, following him. 

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

Ivan pulled into the lot of the diner, looking for a parking spot, and finally found one on the side facing the road, half way across the lot from the door, and started to pull in. 

At the sight of a tiny movement, he slammed on the brakes and threw it into park, jumping out before even shutting off the engine. 

He rounded the door, seeing the toddler headed for the road, and grabbed her just as she was about to go over the curb, in front of an oncoming sedan. 

Ivan ignored her tiny protests, backing up to lean on the grill of his still-running truck, clutching the large baby girl, "Jesus fucking Christ..." 

He went around the door once more, shifting to put her on his hip, and grabbed his keys, slapping the emergency lights before closing the door and heading inside. 

He could hear it the moment he opened the door, Julie was frantic, and speaking to another waitress. 

"She was right here! She can't unbuckle the highchair, someone took her." 

"Hey!" Ivan called. 

Julie spotted her daughter, and hurried straight for her, "What happened? Where was she?" 

"She got outside and nearly got ran over, twice." Ivan replied with more than a hint of irritation, "Don't you have a stroller or something? Put a play pen in the back? Even half a refrigerator box would be better than this." 

Julie held her daughter close, but looked like she was going to cry, "I'm trying, okay? She's getting too big for the carrier." 

Ivan shifted uncomfortably, "Right... Sorry for yelling." 

Julie nodded in acceptance, "Picking up the big order?" 

"Yeah." 

"It's gonna be another ten minutes." she said quietly. 

Ivan nodded, "Yeah, okay. I gotta go park my truck." 

* * *

Like clockwork, Dean heard it again through the back wall of his office, and got up, quietly checking the hallway as he moved to the front office, waiting between the bathroom door and the front desk. 

Margaret soon emerged, looking somewhat green. 

"You okay? Not coming down with the flu, are you?" he asked. 

Margaret shook her head. 

"How far along are you?" 

Margaret started to answer, but then stopped, growing paler. 

"Thought so. Same time, every day for the last five workdays." Dean said quietly, motioning to the couch, "Sit down before you fall down. And relax, you can't get fired for it, there's laws." 

"You won't say anything, right?" Margaret asked quietly, sitting down. 

Dean shrugged, "Who would I tell? Anyway, none of my business. But it doesn't take long for that get pretty obvious on it's own. You're seeing a doctor, right?" 

Margaret shook her head. 

"Why not?" 

"Because if my parents see it on the insurance, they'll freak out." Margaret said, staring at the floor. 

"Is that a good excuse? For risking your health, the baby's health, if you're keeping it?" 

Margaret silently shook her head. 

"Okay, listen, this isn't good. News is gonna come out eventually, the longer you wait, the worse it's gonna get. But your doctor can't say anything to anyone, not even your folks, so I suggest you get to it, don't just cross your fingers and hope that everything's fine." 

Margaret didn't look up. 

"You need time off work? Somebody to drive you?" 

"My parents are gonna be pissed." 

Dean shook his head, "Can't help you there... Kevin, right?" 

"Yeah, well, that's gonna be pretty obvious later. Unless I skip town." 

"Maybe, maybe not. I knew this one girl, she had one grandma who was Japanese. She was blonde, blue eyes, you never would have known." 

Margaret pushed her bangs back from her face, "I can't do this today." 

"You tell yourself that for too many days, it's gonna happen whether you're ready or not. Seems to me, better to make it happen on your terms." 

Uncomfortable with the silence, Dean glanced over his shoulder down the hallway, "Okay, well, you know where I'm at, if you need something. Bare minimum, though, stop and get some prenatal vitamins on your way home." 

"Already got some." 

"Good... Good start. And your parents are supposed to get pissed about this, you're just going to have to get past that." Dean said, heading back for his office. 

* * *

Claire was leaning back on Alfie's chest, absorbed in the horror movie, when the door swung open, and Kevin entered loudly. 

"I hate beauty school." 

Claire didn't bother to look up, "I told you to wear flats. Pumps are for going out, not everyday wear. Did they figure out you're a guy?" 

"Of course they know I'm a guy." Kevin replied, dropping over the back of the couch, landing on his back, upside-down next to them. 

Claire shrugged, "Maybe you should stuff your bra." 

"I'm not stuffing my bra, Claire. I'm happy with my gorgeous tiny boobs. I'm not gonna fake it like this chump." 

Claire looked down at Kevin's face before turning look at Alfie, "What now?" 

Alfie shrugged, "Halloween party, we went as cheerleaders." 

"Yeah, well, I fixed his makeup a little too well," Kevin said, "He had like, three drunk college guys staring at his ass." 

"They didn't notice your leg hair?" Claire asked. 

"Um..." Alfie started. 

"Okay, nevermind." Claire replied, "Just show me pictures if you find them." 

"Absolutely. But in the meantime, I tried to do a basic bob today, and even though I did exactly what she said, it wouldn't come out straight." 

Alfie started laughing silently, but Claire put an elbow in his ribs. 

"Sorry. Uh, sounds tough." Alfie said, still hiding a grin. 

"So then we're supposed to go from there to an angled, but I couldn't get the one completely level first, and it kept getting shorter, and I got behind on what I was supposed to be doing, missed some steps, screwed it up, and now the instructor is pissed at me." 

Claire nodded, "Maybe you can practice on some cheap dolls from the dollar store." 

"Can I practice on you?" Kevin asked. 

Claire had just stuffed several cheetos in her mouth, but before she could answer, Alfie wrapped his arms around her, putting one hand over her hair on the side of her head toward Kevin, "No." 

"She can make her own decisions, don't be a neanderthal." 

"You're not cutting my hair, Kev. Hell, I don't let anyone cut it, I just gather it up in front and take off the last inch, anyway." Claire said, once her mouth was empty. 

Kevin swung his legs down, adjusting to sit normally, "What about once I get good at it? I'm gonna need somebody alive to practice on." 

"Nope. Sorry. I hate it when people mess with my hair." 

"Except for Samandriel." Kevin said with a small gesture. 

"I'm not the one talking about scissors." Alfie said quietly. 

Alfie heard a knock at the door and got up to answer it as Kevin continued to prattle about something involving manicures, and Claire pretended to listen, still half focused on the movie and her cheetos. 

He was surprised to see Margaret standing on the front step, "Hey... um..." 

"Kevin's mom said he was here, I need to talk to him." Margaret said softly, "It's important, and I really need him to hear me out." 

Alfie shifted uncomfortably, "I, uh... I overheard something at the shop yesterday... sound carries, and all." 

Margaret looked down and nodded, "So, can you tie him to a chair, or something? The one time he picked up, he hung up on me before I could tell him. I can't tell him in a text, y'know?" 

Alfie nodded and let her in, closing the door, "Give me a minute, and I'll call you in." 

Alfie retreated to the living room, grabbing the remote, and stopping the movie, "Sorry. Claire, I need to tell Kevin something, can you go pick this up in the other room? I'll be there in a minute." 

Claire looked suspicious, but got up and made for Alfie's bedroom, passing Kevin the bag of cheetos, "Somehow, I don't think I want to know." 

Alfie waited until he could hear the gory noises of the movie before he turned to Kevin, "You're gonna stay right there, and stay quiet, okay? One minute, that's it." 

"What? Why? What did you do?" 

"I didn't. You did." 

"What did I do?" 

Alfie was at an angle where he could see directly into the foyer, and waved Margaret into the room. 

On first glance, Kevin was on his feet and headed for the door, "Fuck this. Not happening. You could've at least warned me she was coming over here. Not cool." 

Alfie got between Kevin and the front door, "Two years, man. You owe her ten seconds." 

"Ten seconds." Kevin repeated, "Why? She didn't think I was worth ten seconds, or even a damn explanation." 

"Kevin," Margaret said, the stress obvious on her face, "Please, it'll only take a minute, then I'm gone." 

"I don't have anything left to give you, Margaret. You broke me, okay? You can't fix it." 

"I'm not trying to." 

"Right. So, what, you changed your mind? Decided to try again? I need to know why, okay? Before anything else, I need to know why you could just rip my heart out like that. Like it was nothing." 

Alfie slowly started to inch his way out of the room. 

"Because I didn't want you settle for me. Or stick around because you thought you had to, or because anyone else told you it was the right thing to do." Margaret replied in a pleading tone, "I'm trying to be independent, okay?" 

"Great. Super. Got a total respect-boner for you. What the hell does that have to do with breaking things off without any hint about why?" 

Margaret took a deep breath, and Alfie made a quick exit, ducking into his room and shutting the door, immediately dropping to the floor, putting one ear to the gap at the bottom as Claire looked up, curious. 

"Are you eavesdropping?... Who's out there?" 

Alfie put his finger to his lips, listening intently as Margaret raised her voice about something. 

"Not okay. Get away from the door, Alfie." Claire said quietly. 

"Shhh! It's not like I don't already know." he whispered loudly. 

"Don't already know what?" Claire asked. 

Alfie only waved at her to keep it down. 

Claire got up and crept across the floor, "Okay, fine. But I warned you." 

Alfie furrowed his brow as she came closer, confused, but still trying to listen to what was happening in the living room. 

At first he thought Claire was trying to join him in listening, but as she dropped to her knees straddling his hips, it was clear from her smirk, and the hands she slipped under his shirt that she had other plans. 

"If you can hear them, they can hear you." Claire whispered. 

Alfie tried not to make a sound as she tickled her way up his ribs, making him shake and buck violently, holding his breath to avoid laughing, and running her knee firmly into the wall. 

Claire hissed for a moment, stopping her assault on his tender flesh, but he still didn't make a sound. She quickly tugged up his tshirt to his throat, dropping her head to take hold of his nipple with her teeth, giving a gentle bite, dragging her nails down the other side of his chest as he tried to get her to let go with a squirm. 

"Cut it out!" Alfie whispered hoarsely, but when Claire raised her head he could see his belt was half undone in her hand, and her devilish smirk hadn't left her face. 

"Really? You sure?" she asked. 

"Uh... no, not sure..." 

Claire continued slowly, scooting down his thighs and tugging his jeans open slowly. She sat up straight and peeled off her shirt, the sight of her skin making Alfie's breath ragged. 

"Okay, fine, I'll get away from the door." 

Claire shook her head, "I'm having too much fun with this. You're completely at my mercy right now." 

"I'm not gonna hear anything, anyway. You're distracting me." he whispered. 

Claire ignored him, "If you make a sound, I'm gonna stop." 

Alfie gave the most breathless hint of a whimper she'd ever heard from him, and reached for her bra. 

Claire grabbed his hands, and pinned them to the floor giving a small shake of her head, and tugged his boxers down below his hardened erection. 

Alfie didn't even realize he was biting his lip until his mouth opened wide in a silent gasp as she took him into her mouth. 

He fought back a moan as he reached to push her hair away from her face, desperate to watch what she was doing to him, but she caught his hand, lacing their fingers. 

* * *

"I'm pregnant." Margaret said bluntly. 

Kevin didn't answer right away, "It's been months, so..." 

"It's yours." 

"You're sure?" 

"There hasn't been anybody else, Kev." 

Kevin paced, "When did you find out?" 

"Two weeks after the condom came off." Margaret said quietly, "Maybe I screwed up, but I broke up with you the next time I saw you, because I was trying not to ruin both of our lives." 

"Why didn't you just call me? Or come over? You could have thrown the damn test in my face with a brick tied to it! It would've hurt me less than this!... God, it's like I've been asking myself for months what the hell I did to you to drive you off, wondering why I wasn't good enough, and you couldn't just tell me I knocked you up?" Kevin's face twisted as he tried to keep his emotions in check, "You know what the worst part of all of this is?... I still love you." 

Margaret wiped at her eyes as they started to water, "...I still love you, too, and I'm sorry." 

Kevin nodded, "That doesn't fix anything... So... What do you need? I'll do whatever you need me to do, but... we're not getting back together." 

"I just needed to tell you before anyone else found out." 

"Who else knows?" 

"Um... Dean guessed. He heard me throwing up... Samandriel overheard us talking... And I think Claire might have an idea, but I don't know." 

"So, what now?" 

Margaret shrugged, "Now... I guess I tell my parents, and when they calm down, I ask my sister if I can have her maternity clothes." 

"Are we talking about keep, or adopt?" 

"I'm keeping it... You don't have to be involved." 

"Fuck that. I have rights." 

"That's not what I meant... I mean, I didn't ask you if you wanted to keep it, I made my decision, so if you want out, it's fine." 

"You don't really think I could, do you?" 

"No." Margaret said softly, "But I can't just tell you how it's going to be, either. I made a choice, and you have to choose, too. This kid isn't just gonna be somebody's unwanted burden, okay? So if you want time to think abo-" 

"No. That's crap. I'm in, okay?... So, if you need something, if you're gonna let me go to the ultrasounds, or we set up visits, or whatever, I'm there, okay?" 

Margaret nodded. 

"When are you telling your parents?" 

"Soon." 

"You want me there for that?" 

"No." 

"Fine... Call me if they kick you out. I'll sleep on the couch if it means you're not sleeping under a bridge... I have to go." Kevin said harshly, heading for the front door. 

Margaret followed after him, unable to settle on a single thing to say from the millions of possibilities that rushed through her mind. All too soon, the door was closed, and he was on the other side of it. 

She crumpled against the wall, sliding to the floor, letting her tears fall freely. She wanted him back. 

* * *

Alfie writhed as Claire hit every sensitive spot she'd learned over the time they'd been together, trying to make him make some sort of noise. 

Despite her best efforts, all she heard was his deep breathing, occasionally broken by a rough but quiet gasp, and the shift of his body on the carpet. 

She knew he was close when his hands began squeezing hers furiously. Claire felt him jolt when he bumped his head softly against the door on accident mid-squirm. 

Still holding onto both his hands, she took him in deeply, swallowing around him, feeling his arms jerk as she dragged a tiny moan from his lips, finishing him. 

She'd barely managed to keep from making a mess before he grabbed her upper arms, dragging her up his body, embracing her tightly, rolling away from the door, and burying his face against her neck. 

Claire put an arm around him for a moment before sitting up and grabbing her shirt. They both heard the door slam. 

"So, what is it that I don't know?" Claire asked quietly. 

Alfie tried to catch his breath enough to answer, "You said it was none of our business... made that really clear." 

"C'mon, tell me." 

Alfie smirked, "Hey, I just showed you I can keep my mouth shut, but if you want to try again..." 

"Are they getting back together?" 

"I have no idea." 

"I thought you already knew what was going on?" 

"I'm not psychic. I only know part of it." 

Claire huffed in frustration and pulled her shirt on, getting to her feet, "C'mon, I can't open the door with you in the way." 

Alfie tugged at the hem of her jeans, "Are you sure you want to?" 

Claire rolled her eyes, prompting him to sit up against the wall. She swung the door open and started for the living room, only to hear the front door shut with a click. 

She looked around the empty house, considering going to the door, but decided to let it go. Claire turned around to find Alfie leaning heavily against the doorframe. 

"Oh well." Claire said with a shrug. But she knew the look in his eyes well as she returned to the room, not minding in the least when he shut the door, their movie completely forgotten. 

* * *

"I'm sorry it's not here yet, Mr Novak. But we can call you as soon as it's in." the woman behind the glass case said, passing him a printout. "Normally we have orders in well before the final payment, but they originally sent the wrong style." 

"Thank you. I only hope it's the right size." Cas said quietly. 

"Oh, is it a gift? Because we can resize here." 

"It's for a proposal, actually." 

"Really? That's funny, we had a guy in here the other day looking for a ring for his boyfriend, we don't see that a lot." 

Cas shrugged, "I'm sure it's going to become far more commonplace, even in small towns like this." 

"Sure, yeah. Maybe I should try designing engagement rings specifically for men, before someone really corners the market." she chuckled. 

"It would have made choosing one easier, most likely." Cas replied with a small smile. 

* * *

_Dean was sitting on the side of his bed with his head in his hands. Not his bed at Bobby's old house, not the bed at Cas' house, but the one in the apartment he'd shared with Lisa._

_"I don't know what to do, what to say to him... Nothing gets through. It's not like he has a lot of friends, and I know these kids mean well, but at the same time..." he let his voice trail off, as Lisa began to rub his back._

_"He's twelve. In a couple of years he'll calm down and be our sweet boy again. It'll be okay."_

_Dean turned his head to look at her, not sure what to expect. He didn't see her as he'd seen her last, but with her long dark locks in loose curls, dark eyes that were well rested, and the healthy glow she'd had before she started chemotherapy._

_"But how can he treat Cas like that? The guy took him to get a suit for his first middle school dance. Ben loves him, he's family... At school, he's a completely different kid."_

_"He's probably trying to look cool for his friends." Lisa said, settling next to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, "It won't last forever. Who knows? They might even work it out without you getting in the middle."_

_Dean gently reached for her, touching the side of her face, pressing a kiss to her lips, "I miss you."_

_"I'm sorry I had to go. But that's how it had to be." Lisa replied._

_"Think Ben would listen to you?" Dean asked._

_"He couldn't hear me. And it would be harder for him. It's better this way, I promise."_

_Dean watched as her face began to loose color, her weight seemed to drop before his eyes, and her hair began to fall away, exposing the light blue scarf over her scalp._

_"Lisa... is it always going to hurt this much?" Dean asked._

_Lisa shook her head, and took his hand, giving it a squeeze, "It'll get easier. New memories, new people, a new life. It's always going to hurt a little, but if it didn't, you'd worry about forgetting me."_

_"I don't know how to do this. How to handle this crap without turning into my father. I need you."_

_"You're not alone, Dean. You can do this, and you have help."_

_Dean shook his head, "Don't go... Lisa, please..."_

_Emotions overcame him as her now pale and emaciated frame rose from the bed, his legs unwilling to allow him to follow her._

As the dream ended, once Dean realized it was in fact a dream, and snapped himself out of it, he found himself in Cas' bed, two blue eyes looking down into his as Cas' thumb gently wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. 

"Sorry..." Dean mumbled. 

"Don't be sorry. I know you loved her, and at least part of you always will. That doesn't bother me." Cas said softly. 

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas' waist, his lean, muscular build very different from Lisa's lithe, toned body, "Feels kind of weird that it doesn't." 

Cas lowered himself down from his elbow into the pillow, and kissed Dean softly, "I can't feel jealous over a dead woman, or the time she had with you. If she wants to feel jealous that I have you now, that's fine. She and I can duke it out in the afterlife." 

Dean chuckled slightly, "I still feel like crap, crying about her when you're with me." 

"You love deeply, Dean. If you could be over losing her that fast, I doubt I'd want to be with you in the first place. At any rate, you've never given me any indication you didn't have enough room in your heart for me." 

Dean pressed against him, holding him tightly, and was soon asleep. 

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: It's been a few days, I re-edited a story from last year I put on my FFN account to post here [dark, dark stuff) and I have a few other things throwing me for a loop.
> 
> I don't advocate violence, and I'm not claiming any of the actions in this chapter to be right or wrong, but it's fiction, and open to the interpretation of the reader. Good, bad, tense, weird, people screw up, and sometimes they screw up for the right reasons. That's life. And a lot of life happens inside of family.
> 
> Thanks for reading! FW)

* * *

Claire looked across the table at Margaret, her eyes wide. 

"...So, I told him I didn't want to see him anymore. I mean, I did, so I guess that part was a lie, but I wasn't trying to hurt him." 

"And now he wants to be involved, just not involved with you." Claire said quietly. 

Margaret nodded, "Basically... I mean, I could have ditched and went to see family, transfer to a college near my sister, but... I don't know. It doesn't seem right. Besides, I'm sure she'd tell my parents, and it would be pretty obvious who the baby's dad is." 

Claire gave a shrugging nod, "I guess so, yeah. Unless you said you were dating Tim Nguyen." 

Margaret looked as though she was about to say something, but Julie was already back, "Anything else I can get you? Refill?" 

Margaret shook her head, "I'm good." 

"Just the check, thanks. We'll get out of your way." Claire replied, taking the slip of paper from Julie, who then hurried off. 

Margaret reached for her purse, but Claire cut her off, "I got it. You have stuff to save up for, anyway." 

"You notice Julie's not wearing her kid today? I wonder who babysits when she's working." 

Claire shrugged, "Probably her mom. Otherwise her whole check would go to daycare, then what's the point in working, right?" 

"Maybe she could give me some advice." Margaret muttered. 

Claire scoffed, "Since when is that a good idea? She might be a mom now, but she's still Julie." 

Margaret waited as Claire paid at the register, and followed her outside, getting a few more words in before starting for their respective cars. 

"Hey!" Julie called, coming around the corner from the back of the building, "Can I talk to you for a minute?" 

Claire stopped, and Margaret's heart sank, assuming at first that Julie had overheard the conversation. 

"What's up?" Claire asked. 

"This whole thing is going to sound stupid." Julie said, fighting back her embarrassment. 

"I don't set the bar too high for our conversations, Julie." Claire replied, earning a muffled sound of amusement from Margaret. 

"Yeah, well, I guess I deserve that... Okay, so my little girl, Cynthia, well, she learned a word from me a few weeks ago, and... I realized that I don't want her to be like me The way I've been, anyway. And the only way I can fix that is to fix how I am. So I was talking to my aunt's pastor, because he lives down the street, and I see him walking his dog all the time, and-" 

"You got religious?" Claire asked. 

"No, just, he said that if I really want to, if I really try, that I can get right with myself before she's old enough to really understand. So, I'm trying. And I just wanted to apologize for being a complete bitch to both of you all through high school." Julie said quietly. 

Claire's eyebrows went up in surprise, never expecting any sort of apology from Julie, "You're kidding, right?... Some kind of hidden camera prank?" 

"I'm not kidding, I'm really trying to be a better person so I can break the cycle and Cyndi can be somebody who... doesn't suck." Julie answered. 

"Um... I know a bunch of crap you did to Claire, but, uh... I don't think there was really that much you did to me." Margaret spoke up. 

"Didn't I dump a trash can on your head?" Julie asked. 

"That was Maggie Curtis." 

"Oh... sports bra in the toilet?" 

"Maggie Borden." 

"Oh, right... You were 'no fun-bags Mags.'" 

"You started that?... You know that crap followed me to college?" Margaret asked, her irritation evident. 

"This is exactly why I'm trying to apologize." Julie said, looking down, "There's no excuse for any of it, and I'm sorry. But I'm trying to make sure Cyndi doesn't treat people like crap. She's gonna have it bad enough already." 

"Okay." Claire replied, "Um... sure. I forgive you. So, good luck with your non-alcoholic twelve step program, or whatever you're doing. I hope it works, and yeah, I guess it's kind of cool you're trying to raise your kid right." 

Julie looked suspicious, "Just like that? I mean, you were at the top of my list for years, I gave you so much crap." 

Claire shrugged, "I've been through a lot worse than somebody calling me a caveman in a dress." 

Julie cringed, "Sorry... Listen, are you still seeing that Sam Alford guy? I was trying to find his number and sort that out, too." 

"He never goes by Sam, but, yeah, I'm still seeing him." she answered, "Not sure I want to give you his number, though. I mean, no way for me to know you're not going to harass him or something, and I don't know if he'd even want to talk to you." 

Julie nodded with a dejected look, but pulled a notepad from her apron pocket, scribbling down her name and number, "You know, um... I haven't tried talking to anyone else about this yet, you're the first. Dragging me out of that fight that day, I owe you big time for that... I'll understand if you don't want me to talk to him, but here's my number." 

Claire hesitated, but took the slip of paper. 

"I know you don't trust me, and after everything I did, you shouldn't." Julie said. 

"Yeah, well," Claire replied, folding the paper over and putting it in her pocket, "I trust him." 

Julie nodded, "Well, I gotta go, see you around, Claire... Mags." 

"Just Margaret." Margaret replied. 

"Sorry. See you, Margaret." Julie gave a small wave before ducking back inside through the door they'd just come through. 

"That was weird." Margaret said quietly. 

"Got that right." Claire replied. 

"She looked like she was gonna cry." 

"I don't know if she knows how. But that was kind of funny when she got you mixed up with the other Maggies." 

Margaret chuckled, "Yeah, she can't even keep straight what she did and when. You were lying, weren't you? When you said you forgive her?" 

Claire shrugged, "I don't know. If she wants it, she can have it. Maybe she'll keep trying, and actually fix whatever the hell broke when her mom dropped her on her head as a baby." 

With a quiet laugh, Margaret started for her mother's car, "Later." 

"Yeah." Claire replied. 

Claire headed for the back of the lot, fully intending to hide the piece of paper in her disposable cup and toss it in the dumpster. 

She stopped when she noticed a group of children grabbing trash bags out of the next dumpster down the alleyway, and tearing them open over the fence on the other side. She tossed her cup and started for them. 

"What the hell are you doing?" she asked loudly. 

Several turned to look, as a few took off running, but one she would have recognized anywhere. 

"Ben, what the hell?" 

"Yeah, 'what the hell,' Ben?" Jack mocked, "Tell her off, man. Grow a pair." 

"Whatever." Ben muttered, heading in the direction the others had gone. 

Claire considered letting it go and sending a text to Dean, staying out of it, but something seemed off, "Ben, you're dumping garbage over a fence to a retirement home. Only dickbags do shit like that. Come on, I'm taking you home." 

"You're not my mom, I don't have to listen to you." Ben complained. 

"Worse. I'm your babysitter, twerp. That means I've got your dad on speed dial." Claire replied, pulling out her phone, "It'll go a lot better for you if you get your ass in my car before he picks up." 

Ben grumbled as he started for the Chevelle, despite calls of names echoing at his back. "Wuss!... C'mon, you don't have to take that from her!" 

Claire kept the phone to her ear, following after Ben. 

She unlocked the passenger side door for him as she spotted one of the children she didn't recognize jumping on a bumper of a car to set off the alarm at the back end of the lot as Dean's number went to voice-mail. 

"Hey. Found a stray seventh grader, and I'm bringing it home. If you won't let me keep it, I'll take it to the pound in the morning. You owe me one. Bye." Claire put her phone in her pocket, but continued to block the door open after Ben had sat down, "Are they trying to get the cops called on them? Or do they just hate old people?" 

Ben shrugged, "Who cares?" 

"I care. Because you're hanging out with morons who wouldn't know their ass from a hole in the ground if you let them do a taste test." 

"Nobody asked you to." 

Claire shut the door and quickly got in on the other side. 

* * *

Linda came home from her late weekend shift, filling in for a coworker, only to find Kevin in the kitchen. He was slamming pots and pans around, and a burnt smell lingered, but otherwise, there was certainly an edible meal in progress. 

"You're supposed to get it from the butcher already dead, not kill it yourself when you get home... Why are shoving things around like that?" Linda called, putting away her purse and blazer. 

"Don't worry about it, it's almost done." Kevin replied. 

She could hear it in her son's voice that something was different. He was upset. 

"My sister says a spot is going to open up at the salon near her house in about two months. How long until you get your certificate?" 

"About a year. Year and a half if I do this right." Kevin replied. 

Linda shook her head, "Nevermind, then. Do it right. What are you making?" 

"Pork chops and couscous." 

"It's not my birthday, who died?" 

Kevin cringed, "Mom, sit down." 

"That's not funny." 

Kevin took Linda by the shoulders and pushed her back to one of the kitchen chairs, and waited until she seated herself. He set his hands on the back of his usual chair and took a deep breath, about to spill everything. 

Linda cut him off, "Seriously? Did someone die?" 

"Margaret's pregnant." Kevin said quickly. 

"No... Honey, if she's saying that to get you back,-" 

"She doesn't want me back. She said that's why she broke up with me. But she said it's mine, and I said she's not kicking me out of the kid's life... so... congrats." 

Linda was stunned. 

"Not a word, okay? Not until she tells her parents, not even to family." 

"So... her mother doesn't know yet?" 

Kevin shook his head. 

"And she's not trapping you with some other guy's baby?" 

Kevin shook his head once more, "She'd have a hell of a time covering that up... No, um... There was a mishap. I know what happened, and when. There's no way she could hide it, and she said I didn't have to be involved, so I know that's not it." 

"Not that I'm not happy to get the news first, but why hasn't she told her parents?" 

* * *

Claire noticed the dead look around the shop and Bobby's old house as she pulled up the gravel road, skipping both driveways, heading straight home. As she expected, Dean and Cas were sitting on the front porch swing, beers in hand. 

She waited as Ben got out, and motioned him into the yard, "Go on. Tell him what you were doing." 

Ben silently stalked up the front steps to lean on the rail, facing his father, "I was hanging out with my friends, and we threw some trash over a fence." 

Dean looked to Claire. 

"The rest." Claire said. 

"Fine." Ben snapped, "It was a lot of trash." 

"And the fence?" 

"The back area of Shady Grove." Ben mumbled. 

Dean was fuming, "You dumped a bunch of trash out on the back lawn where old folks hang out? Why? Does that sound fun to you? Or just getting brought home by a deputy when you get caught?" 

Ben shrugged, "I dunno. It was fun." 

"Trashing a garden at a rest home isn't fun. It's a horrible thing to do." Dean said gruffly, "You're not going anywhere with your friends for a while. Not until you can behave yourself. I'm gonna call Jack's parents, so if there was anything else, you better tell me now." 

Ben shook his head, his attitude unwavering. 

"Head home. I'll be there in a bit." 

Dean got up to get his phone from where he'd left it in the kitchen, but as Ben passed Claire at the bottom of the steps, they all heard it. 

"Bitch." 

"Ben!" Dean growled, turning around. 

"Excuse me?" Claire asked. 

"You ratted me out over nothing." Ben replied. 

"Ben, I said go to the house." Dean started to come down the stairs. 

"Damn right, I did." Claire answered, her voice taking a tone he'd never heard, "Just like I'm gonna do every time you do something stupid like this. And what are you gonna do about it?" 

"I got like, twenty pounds on you, so don't try me." 

"Twenty pounds of butter, maybe." 

Cas looked horrified, "Claire, that's enough." 

Dean saw it coming, but as they'd moved further away from the steps during their exchange, he couldn't reach to block it. Ben slapped Claire across the face and was immediately met with the strike of a shin to the crotch, and dropped like a sack of potatoes. 

After a breath to compose herself, as both Dean and Cas froze, Claire crouched next to him. "That is going to happen every single time you hit a girl. If they won't do it, bet your ass I will... Is that clear?" 

Claire waited until she got a tense and pained nod from Ben, got up, and walked into the house. 

Cas blinked in confusion for a moment before following her inside. 

Dean walked over to Ben's crumpled form, pulling him from the ground, "Not another goddamn word. Get home." 

Ben slowly began scraping himself together on the front walk as Dean went in at a much slower pace than Cas' rushed footsteps. 

"Claire, you went too far. He's a child. You're an adult, you should know better!" Cas' voice came from the kitchen. 

"He's bigger than me, and he hit me first, after making threats. If he was mentally challenged, maybe I'd agree with you, but I think by this point, he should know better." Claire replied. 

Cas was at a loss for words as Dean slipped past him, grabbing his phone from the counter, "Dean?" 

Dean tightened his lips and shook his head, "Claire, I'm sorry. Ben was out of line... Maybe your dad's right, maybe you went too far, but that's not how I see it." 

"Dean!" Cas started as Claire slipped out of the kitchen. 

"Cas, you have to take yourself out of the educator role for a minute... If she did nothing, it wouldn't matter what I did to punish him afterwards, he'd still get it into his head that there wouldn't be any repercussions unless I found out. Hard lesson, maybe, but he won't try that again, not with her, and he'll think twice before trying it on anyone else. Right now, there's kind of a gray area between too much discipline and just enough... Obviously I'm not hitting that just enough point if this is what he thinks he can get away with." 

"She's nineteen, she can't go around beating up children." Cas' voice strained. 

"She's not, and she didn't. They're one for one. He started it, she defended herself. But I'm pretty sure she got her point across." Dean pulled Cas close, "Trust me, compared to some of the fights I've gotten into with Sam, this is nothing. So, he's testing boundaries, it'll stop when he finds out nobody's taking his shit." 

Cas was clearly still upset, and pulled back a bit, "What happened to them baking cookies and breaking a window with a soccer ball?" 

"College and middle school happened. And it doesn't un-happen, so we have to roll with it." 

* * *

Margaret watched as Ben sullenly swept the office floor, listening to the auto insurance company's hold music coming through the phone. 

Ben slowly worked his way to the hallway, and past his father's office door. She'd never seen him this grumpy. The few times Dean had let Ben help around the shop since she'd started, he'd been cheerful, so she could only assume this was some kind of punishment. 

The clock on the computer rolled over to mark the hour, and a recorded voice came on the line to remind her of the office hours, and inform her that there was now no one available to take her call. 

She hung up the phone and went to the open doorway half way down the dark hallway, "Didn't get to me in time. Anything else?" 

"No, I think that's it. You got somebody pulling that Mustang dashboard?" Dean asked. 

"Yeah, Randy's getting it." 

"Then I guess you're done for the day. We'll see you Wednesday." 

With a nod, Margaret returned to the front desk and clocked out. 

Her drive home was relatively uneventful, but as she pulled into the driveway, she was doing her best to stay calm. She went in the side door of the house, a grim look on her face. 

Looking around the empty kitchen, she could hear some sort of sports speculation on the television, and as though on cue, her father's voice. 

"Maggie? Is that you?" 

"Yeah. Work." she called in reply. 

"Would you grab me a soda, pumpkin?" 

Margaret took a can from the fridge and went into the living room, passing it to her father, who didn't even look up, still fixated on his show. 

"Daddy, I have to tell you something." 

"Can it wait?" 

"No." 

"Just let me get to a commercial." 

Margaret snatched the remote from his hand and turned off the television, "I'm not going to have the guts to tell you later." 

"You're not dropping out of college. You need your education." 

"That's not it. Look-" 

"What? What's so important it can't wait?" he snapped. 

Margaret was seething. 

"Look, sweetie, either spill it or it can wait till dinner." 

"I'm pregnant." Margaret said harshly. 

Mr Danes took a moment to process her words, then shook his head, "No... No, now's not a good time for this." 

"Too bad. It's happening." 

"You damn well better know who's it was." he growled. 

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Margaret snapped. 

Mr Danes shrugged, "Your cousin Marci was screwing half the town, they had to test three guys to find out." 

"Yeah, well, I'm not her." 

"Okay. Fine. So, now what? Because there's no room in this house for a baby." 

Margaret stared at him for a moment, looking up to find her mother in tears in the opening of the hallway, and then looked back to her father. 

"You've got your whole life ahead of you, there's no reason to go and screw it up like this, Maggie." 

"I'm four months in, dad... Second trimester." she said firmly, "I'm keeping it. And Kevin already knows." 

"You had a chance to really do something with your life. You keep the kid, that's it, that's all you'll ever be, some lazy housewife just like your sister. I'm not doing this again, watching another daughter flush her future down the drain. You're better than that." 

Margaret shook her head, tears burning her eyes, "You're an asshole, dad. I have put up with so much crap from you, and your mother... But if that's it, if that's how you want it, if you're gonna kick me out for not getting an abortion, I'm gone. And I won't be back. I won't answer the phone when you call, when the baby's born, nobody's gonna tell you, you're never gonna hear from me again. Is that really how you want things to be?" 

"Works for me." Mr Danes replied, "At least I don't have to watch while your life goes to shit." 

Margaret clenched her jaw and pressed past her mother, heading for her room. She ducked inside and closed the door as the television resumed it's blaring noise. 

* * *

Alfie leaned against the side of the small pickup as Ivan reached in, looking for the ventilation hose that had slipped off for the umpteenth time. 

"So, how's the new place looking?" 

Ivan shrugged, "Better than the apartment. Still waiting to see what's going to happen around here." 

Alfie shrugged, "Well, I don't want it, and you pretty much took over with training Kip and Randy, and Dean never complained. Somebody's gotta take it." 

"He doesn't know, does he?" 

"I don't think so. She's been putting it off for a while. She was planning on telling him before her classes picked up again." Alfie muttered. 

"What about the pit the other day? She okay?" Ivan asked, "She got a little crazy there." 

"It's cool, we've dropped cars on her before." 

"I'm serious." Ivan said, meeting Alfie's eyes. 

"Yeah, no, she had a nightmare but, not your fault, or anything. Just, well, stuff she had to deal with as a kid." 

"Is she coming in today?" 

"Nah, I heard she and Ben got into it last night, Dean got pissed." 

"At who? Child labor over there?" Ivan asked, tugging at the end, and having his hand come away with a piece of tubing, "Crap. I gotta get another one." 

"Yeah." Alfie said quietly, clamming up as Ben dragged a large bag of garbage out to a dumpster. 

"Hey, Ben," Ivan called, "Heard you're picking fights with girls, now. What happened?" 

Ben shot Alfie a dirty look, "If people can't mind their own business, that's their fault." 

"Yeah? So I guess your mom never warned you, huh?" 

"Warned me about what?" Ben asked, genuinely curious, now. 

"Shit, man. Somebody has to tell him." Ivan said quietly, aimed more toward Alfie. 

Alfie shook his head and backed up, "No way. I'm not gonna risk it. You can tell him if you think he can handle it." 

"Yeah, okay..." Ivan waved Ben closer, "Okay, here's the thing, everybody tells boys they should never hit a girl, right? But do they ever say why?" 

"Because most guys are bigger than most girls, and have more upper body mass, making it an unfair fight." Ben parroted. 

Ivan shook his head, glancing around, "That's crap. There's no kind of honor in not hitting a girl just because they're a girl. Obviously you should never hit first just so you can use self defense as a reason, but no... The real reason is that because girls are smaller, not as strong, they evolved this, well, it's almost like a super power. Girls fight mean. Have you ever seen two girls get into a fight? It's crazy. They look all sweet and nice one minute, and the next it's all claws, teeth, ripping out the fake-ass hair extensions, like vicious, rabid bunnies. And if you're bigger than they are, if they know they can't take you, they wait. Then, when you're not suspecting it, they find a way to embarrass you, or ruin your life. Some girls even do that crap for fun." 

Ben looked skeptical as Ivan glanced around again, "Yeah, right." 

"I'm serious. You hit a girl that's half your size, next thing you know, you're waking up on graduation day with only one eyebrow. Happened to my buddy, Derek. He tried to get his sister to do some makeup to hide it, but she wouldn't help him when she found out, so, it's more like a hive mind, or something, you tick off one, you tick off all the girls they know. You better watch your back for a while." 

Ben turned to Alfie, who's expression seemed off, "He's messing with me, right?" 

Alfie slowly shook his head, "No. You really should listen to him." 

"So, what? Just let people walk on me? I don't think so." Ben grumbled. 

"No, don't let anyone walk on you, just don't go hitting people. You're going to get in deep shit. Instead, speak up for yourself, and if that's not enough, say something rude that they won't expect." 

"What?" Alfie interjected, "Don't tell him to be rude-" 

"Hang on, if you're rude in a way they don't expect, they won't have a good comeback for it, and then it'll bug them later when they think of one, sometimes it bugs them for years." Ivan explained. 

Ben looked back and forth between them, earnestly trying to understand. 

Alfie hesitated, "Okay, that part, take it with a grain of salt, but if you really want to get both sides of this, you need to talk to Kevin about it." 

"What other side?" Ivan scoffed, "If there's two sides to this, it's hit girls, or don't hit girls. I don't know anybody who'd tell him hitting girls is a good idea, no matter what reason they have for it." 

"Don't worry about it, Claire said she'd rack me again if I did, and I'm pretty sure she wasn't joking." Ben replied. 

Ivan cringed, "Yeah, that's another good reason." 

Alfie nodded, "Well, if you want to talk to Kevin, I can give you his number, or you can come over to swim." 

Ben shook his head, "No, I'm grounded until further notice." 

"For fighting with Claire?" Ivan asked. 

"No, for the stuff she told my dad about." Ben replied. 

Alfie shrugged, "Can't help you with that. Maybe you should think about the people you're hanging out with, if you really want to be that kind of person." 

"She told you?" Ben asked, "Why am I not surprised?" 

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Not much to warn you about in this one. Certainly making progress. Had a few things I didn't expect...
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading! Love you guys! FW)

* * *

Dean approached the house assuming Ben would still be asleep, instead finding him sitting on the front steps with a glass of orange juice, tossing a tennis ball for Nick. 

"You're up early." Dean commented. 

Ben shrugged in silent avoidance. 

"Okay, fine. You don't have to talk to me, but you do have to follow the rules. You know what you did was wrong. You need to work on that. It's really not that hard to behave yourself, unless you're in with a bunch of assholes who don't give a damn about other people. So, what are you gonna do?" 

"It's not like I was selling drugs to kindergarteners." Ben replied. 

"Not yet. But how do you know that's not where all this crap ends?... I'm trying to raise you right, Ben. But at some point, you have to choose to be a decent person. I can't make that choice for you." Dean said firmly. 

Ben avoided his eyes, throwing the ball again. Dean recognized his actions, and went up the steps past him, knowing that for now, there was nothing else to say. 

Dean found himself at the kitchen sink, leaning on the counter and looking out toward the yard as the sun was rising over the rows and stacks of vehicles that had seen better days. He found it comparable to a cemetery of sorts, rows of dead vehicles, and stacks resembling the occasional mausoleum. 

The dull colors of paint long since damaged by the sun created a rusty patchwork as the sun continued to rise, the red in the sky reflecting off the occasional piece of shining metal. 

* * *

Early sunlight filtered through the curtains as Claire was vaguely aware of the bed shifting. 

She rolled away from the light, listening to hushed tones of Alfie's quiet voice forming unfamiliar sounds, words that didn't register at all as he slowly pulled on an article of clothing and left the room. 

Claire drifted in a dozed state, not even curious what time it was, until she heard something loud in the next room. 

She was about to get up and see what it was when Alfie, wearing only yesterday's jeans, returned, tossing his phone carelessly onto his desk. 

"What was that about?" Claire asked sleepily. 

"Rachael wanted to wish me a happy birthday." he said flatly. Claire rubbed one eye as she rolled onto her back, "That was over a month ago." 

Alfie didn't reply, only stretching out on the bed next to her, pulling her shoulder tight against his bare chest. 

"Did you tell her she had the wrong day?" Claire asked. 

"Le vingt-neuf août. 'The twenty-ninth of August'... She's never gonna write it down, though." Alfie replied. 

"Maybe you should send her a calendar. Apparently they don't have those in Paris." Claire mumbled. 

"She asked about you..." Alfie said quietly, "Naomi's been running her mouth." 

"Might be time for you to disown her again." 

"I didn't disown her." Alfie chuckled. 

Claire shrugged, curling against him, "Close enough." 

Alfie gently rolled them both until Claire was on her back, moving slowly, pressing a kiss to her cheek. 

Claire stiffened slightly, fighting the urge to push him away, as Alfie settled one knee between her own, and lifted his weight off of her, catching one of her hands as it came to his chest, "Hey... calm down, okay?" 

He breathing went a bit rougher, but she nodded, "I'm calm. Don't tell me to calm down." 

"So, too fast this time?" 

"I'm fine." she replied. 

"Sure you are." Alfie said, staring to move away slowly. 

Claire stopped him, keeping him above her, forcing her breathing to a relaxed pace. 

"I have to tell you something." Alfie whispered, slowly settling his weight against her. 

"Okay." 

"I got a few texts last night after you fell asleep... From a girl... And she's my new roommate." 

"I was kind of wondering about why you put your pants on." Claire replied. 

"You're cool with that?" 

"With you having a roommate?" 

"...who's a girl?" 

Claire scoffed, "I don't care when you hang out with Kevin, and you guys kind of have history, so..." 

Alfie nodded, "Margaret's parents kicked her out." 

Claire immediately looked concerned, "What? Why?" 

"None of our business... Her business... And Kevin's business..." 

"Shit... Maybe I should go talk to her." Claire said quietly. 

"She's probably not awake yet, it was pretty late." 

"You know this is going to get weirder before it gets better, right?" Claire asked. 

Alfie nodded, his attention going to the door as they both heard the front door open quietly, and heavy footsteps entered the house, coming closer to the door, "That's life, right?" 

Alfie rolled to the side between Claire and the door as she pulled the sheet up to cover her bare breasts, just as a quiet knock sounded on the bedroom door. 

He got up and crossed the floor, slipping out, but Claire could hear them both easily as she got up and started to get dressed. 

Kevin's voice came through the door first, "I got a message from Margaret that she was coming over here, but that's Claire in there, right?" 

Claire wasn't sure she was comfortable with Kevin's tone, but she was willing to put it aside, given how the last few days had been for him. 

"Yeah, Margaret's in Ivan's old room." Alfie replied, the voices were slowly getting fainter as they moved away from the door. 

"I don't know what the hell she's doing, I told her to call me." 

"You know she doesn't want to be relying on you for everything. There's a bunch of empty space here, it's not like it's a big deal." Alfie replied. 

"Yeah, well, how is this better? I'm responsible for this crap to begin with." Kevin grumbled. 

Claire pulled on her jeans, standing near the door to listen in. 

"She needs to do things her way. What happened to your speech on empowerment, and feminism? Just give her some space. I'm sure if she really needs something, she'll tell you." Alfie answered. 

"Is she really working at the shop?" Kevin asked. 

"Yeah." 

"Great... You guys have dropped cars on Claire twice now, not sure that's a healthy place for her to work." 

"She's working the front desk, never comes into the garage except to call somebody in for the phone. I was doing all the same stuff when I couldn't walk. It's boring, but it's perfectly safe." 

Kevin's shoulders drooped with worry, "This isn't how I thought this would go, y'know?... I always thought if I had a kid, it would be planned. Not that I don't want the kid, just... It's weird..." 

Alfie nodded, "Sorry... Not about the kid, I mean, the timing. Just kind of smacked you in the face, that part sucks." 

Kevin nodded as Alfie stepped closer, giving him a friendly hug just as Claire entered the room. Finally catching sight of Kevin's face for the first time since he'd heard the news, he looked as though life had shredded off a piece of him. 

"Did you want to talk to her?" Alfie asked, "I don't think she's awake yet." 

Kevin shook his head, "No, let her sleep, I guess. Mostly just want to try to figure out how all this is going to work. I have to get used to being around her again, at least for the kid... You guys go over rent and stuff?" 

Alfie shook his head, "Don't worry about it." 

"No, c'mon, what was Ivan paying?" 

"Look, give it a few weeks, okay? Her folks might come around or something." 

Kevin shifted his weight back and forth a bit, "Yeah, okay... Thanks... But if she's here long term, you're gonna let me help, right?" 

Alfie gave a non-committal nod which seemed to put Kevin more at ease, "Look, I'm gonna be in Houston this weekend, if you guys want to try to talk or whatever. Just do me a favor, if she doesn't want to see you-" 

"I don't really want to see her." Kevin said quietly, "If she wants space, I'm out, but, yeah, I'll try to sort out some of this while you're gone." 

The three of them heard a phone ringing an alarm in the far end of the house, and with a look somewhere between determined and defeated, Kevin started toward it. 

Alfie put an arm around Claire's shoulders, "Wanna go to Houston with me?" 

"This is a gallery thing, isn't it?" 

Alfie grinned, "Yeah, and Naomi won't be there, which means it might even be fun." 

* * *

After finding the diner completely packed, with Julie running back and forth between tables, Cyndi strapped to her back, Ivan and Lucas dropped into the only booth available to wait on the shop order. It also happened to be right next to the table full of elderly women Ivan had attempted to irritate only a week and a half before. 

Julie was walking past quickly, and Lucas flagged her down, getting her to stop. 

"Hi, you want a drink or something while you wait? It's gonna take a while." Julie asked quickly. 

"Will it go faster if you put the baby down?" Ivan asked, immediately regretting his tired tone, seeing Julie's expression and noticing the silence at the next table, "Sorry, that didn't come out right, I mean... Look, you gotta be tired, we have to wait anyway, I can watch her, make sure she doesn't get loose again." 

If Julie's eyebrows were any indication, her day had already been low on kindness and high on stress, and she nodded, "That would be a huge help. Thank you." 

Ivan stood and took hold of Cyndi under her arms as Julie unfastened the straps. 

"She tries to eat the napkins, so try to keep them away from her. I'll grab you guys a soda on my next round through. We're just really short staffed today, Lindsay up and quit, and Jean can't work today." Julie hurried off, and in the sudden quiet, Ivan could hear the whispers coming from Mrs Grant's small social circle in the next booth as he sat down, sitting the tiny child on the table. 

Lucas had apparently noticed it as well, "Heeey, kiddo. Bet your ears are burning. You're almost big enough to go running through here smacking people in the knees with a ladle." 

"They'd have it coming." Ivan muttered. 

From the booth bench directly behind him, he could easily make out one of the whispers, "...no child will do well without a father." 

Ivan turned slightly, speaking over his shoulder, disgusted, "That's a load of crap. Every guy who beats his wife and kids proves you wrong." 

If one of the four women looked the snobbiest, it was the one who turned her crepe-skinned face, with a hooked beak of a nose and angry eyes upon him in response, "Well! If he had any honor, whomever fathered the child would step up and claim her, certainly." 

Ivan laughed, "Right, like the whole town doesn't know. C'mon, you don't need a DNA test to figure that one out. And that kind of crap went out the window when we got the Internet on every phone, so you can just drop it." 

"Imagine that, Molly, this young punk telling me to just drop it! Let me tell you, young man, some things never change. A baby with no father goes nowhere in life, and the young mother is just as 'screwed' as the child. Now if our Julie had any sense, she would have handed that little dear off to a far off relative and come home to look for a good man who could overlook her sinful past." she sneered. 

"Shit, man, she's got you cornered." Lucas muttered. 

"Hey don't cuss around her, she's picking up words right now, she'll be saying them all next week." Ivan replied to Lucas, his irritation becoming a fluster as he turned back to the old woman, "Okay, look, I was that kid, passed off to relatives, and it was awful, so either you don't know what you're talking about, or you've got some regrets you need to think about, maybe some kid you popped out in the back of a van at Woodstock. Anyway, Julie's doing a great job, this kid is always fed, clean, healthy, and obviously she's pretty happy because she's never screaming her head off. So don't worry about her. And don't worry about Julie. Worry about what happens to gossipy, mean old bats when they die, okay? Because Julie's got plenty of time to make it up, you don't." 

A round of gasps caused a hush to fall over several of the surrounding tables as the crone turned a shameful shade of crimson, "She'll be alone and miserable until that brat is off to school, and you had better believe it. I've seen it a million times, you young people have no idea what you're talking about." 

Walking into the oddly silent bubble, Julie looked around at all the quiet folks who's conversations had suddenly dropped. She set two sodas down in front of Ivan and Lucas and pulled straws from her apron pocket as she kept searching for a clue to the sudden stillness. 

Ivan wanted to use every nasty word in his vocabulary to chew out the old woman, but instead he looked up, "Julie, you want to hit a movie on Saturday?" 

"I can't, my mom's out of town, I won't have anyone to watch Cyndi." Julie said quietly. 

Ivan shrugged, "So we take her with us and see a kids movie. That new Disney one looks good." 

Julie gave an obvious hesitation, and Lucas spoke up, "Yeah, that's not weird at all, when a grown man wants to go see a kids movie." 

"Says the guy who made me watch the Lion King." Ivan replied, "C'mon, Julie, when's the last time you got out of the house for something that was just for fun?" 

Julie looked over his head, out the window to the parking lot, "There's no way her car seat is going to work in your truck." 

"He can borrow my car." Lucas replied. 

Julie hesitated once again, and Mrs Grant spoke up from across the next table, "Oh, for heaven's sake. If you don't want to go out with him, just say so." 

"No, I do, it's just-" Julie replied quickly, her cheeks turning pink as she realized she'd said it without meaning to. 

"Okay!" the woman who'd been addressed as Molly earlier spoke up, "I'm putting my foot down. Susan, no offense, but I managed being a single mother, and like I've told you this whole time, you're wrong. Julie, sweetheart, you don't take a baby on a date. I'll watch her for you. I help in the church nursery, so I'm up to date on how things are done now, and God's sake, go see a damn grown-up movie. You deserve a break." 

With a shrug, Julie nodded, a slow smile taking over her face. 

* * *

Alfie had left for work, and Claire had headed to the campus, leaving Kevin and Margaret behind in an empty silence. She sat on the couch with a bowl of cereal and Kevin attempted to sit on one of the chairs from time to time, between anxious pacing. 

"So when is that?" Kevin asked. 

"Today... two o'clock... They're going to do an ultrasound, to make sure I have the dates right, and everything's okay since I didn't go in at ten weeks." 

Kevin nodded, fighting his first instinct, which was to ask why she hadn't and berate her for not doing it, "You need a ride?" 

"I was going to walk." 

"It's ten blocks away." 

"That's nothing." 

"It's not nothing, it's ninety degrees outside, and there's still the walk back." 

Margaret rolled her eyes, "I'm fine. I'm going to need the exercise anyway." 

"Yeah, but in the heat?" 

"I walk that far all the time, Kevin, trust me, it's fine." 

"Let me drive you." Kevin pleaded. 

"If you want to be there for the ultrasound, just ask and quit being a creep about it." 

"Okay, fine, but it's not about the ultrasound, it's about whether or not you pass out half way through your walk because your body is busy building a fucking human being." he snapped, "And aside from accidentally finding your g-spot - you're welcome, by the way - and causing the mess that caused this mess, I've contributed nothing. So, yeah... Can I please come with you, while some doctor, total stranger, shoves a magic sound-wand up your fun-shute to get the first ever images of my child?" 

Margaret said nothing as her hormones took over, with a look that could peel paint. 

"What?" Kevin asked, roughly. 

"... Well, if you're gonna be a jerk about it." 

"What else can I do? There is not, even precisely jack shit I can do. If you don't want me there at the hospital, I can't go. It's my kid, but if you suddenly started smoking and drinking, I can't do anything about it. I literally have no rights at all until it's born, and then only if a judge says so. I'm frustrated, okay?" 

"Maybe you were a suffragette in a past life." Margaret replied. 

"Just because I totally believe in women's rights doesn't mean I'm happy to lose any, or not have any to start with. So you could at least let me help. I mean, you've been building it, or whatever for months, and I haven't done anything. I'm useless." 

Margaret set her now empty bowl on the coffee table and got up, stretching as Kevin made another attempt to sit still. She popped open the button on her jeans and stepped closer to him, "Gimme your hand." 

"Why?" 

"Just gimme your hand." Margaret said, taking hold of his wrist. 

She held his palm firmly against her skin just below her navel. Her flesh was firmer than Kevin remembered, an almost hard lump had risen well above the edge of her pubic bone. After a few moments he felt a tiny flutter against his hand. 

"That's the baby?" Kevin asked in a whisper, not entirely sure he'd felt anything, until it happened again, "Holy shit..." 

Margaret nodded, "Yeah, just when I start getting used to it, the kicks get harder." 

"... So, that wiggling in there is my kid... That's insane." Kevin muttered. 

"That's not insane. What's insane is how fast I'm running out of jeans I can wear." Margaret complained. 

"Shh!... I think it knows Morse code." Kevin whispered. 

"The baby doesn't know Morse code, dumbass." 

"How would you know? You don't know Morse code." Kevin replied. 

"Why are you whispering?" Margaret asked. 

"Shhh!... Okay, yeah." Kevin made several small taps and presses against her belly, rating his other hand on the small of her back, then pressed his hand against her in time to feel another flutter of movement, "Baby says hi, and don't walk to your appointment." 

Margaret cracked up laughing hard enough to make Kevin let go, "Fine, you can drive me." 

* * *

Hannah brought a thick stack of paper into Cas' office, sorting through the top of the stack as she walked, "Amy Thomas is complaining about two of her students. She moved them to opposite sides of the room, but somehow it's still a distraction." 

"Eighth Grade, Thomas?" Cas asked, not looking up, "How bad is it?" 

"She says they're pulling pranks on each other, but only in her class. The period she has them starts in ten minutes." Hannah replied, "I could sit in." 

Cas nodded, "Anything out of the ordinary, have her signal you to pull the offending student to the hall, shut it down, and put them back in the room." 

Hannah nodded and passed him roughly two thirds of the stack of paper, "New student dress code policies for next year, some of it looks excessive. The district wants feedback from staff." 

Cas nodded, "How excessive?" 

"Well, under these rules, we might as well have them in uniforms. Articles that display any type of religion have to be easily hidden to avoid offending anyone, like when you had to tell Ms Graham that the girl with the pentagram necklace didn't have to tuck it into her shirt? Not to mention the three boys with yarmulkes, and I don't know where to start with the little girl with the birthmark on her cheek who wears her hair over it, that wouldn't be allowed." 

Cas shook his head, "The students need to be able to express themselves. I'll go over it with a fine tooth comb. When do they need a response?" 

"You've got two weeks." Hannah answered. 

"Anything else?" 

"Probably, but not right at this moment." 

Cas nodded as his cell phone began to ring, "See what you can do for Amy, if it's particularly bad, I'll sit in on Friday." 

Hannah nodded and slipped out of the room as Cas answered his phone, "Hello?" 

"Hi, I'm calling from KLM Jewelers, your order has arrived, and is ready for pick up." 

"All right, thank you." Cas replied, making a mental note to stop on his way home. 

Paula knocked on his doorframe as he hung up, "Mr Novak, Ashley Miller needs a word with you, she doesn't want to go home at the end of the day." 

Just past Paula's heavy frame was a shy face with a split lip. The look in her eyes wrenched at his heart. 

"Of course." Cas replied, waving her in. 

* * *

Dean signed for the large cardboard package and carried it into the shop through an open bay door. 

He looked around doing a quick headcount, and spotted Alfie, "Is Claire coming in today?" 

"No, she's got a late class. And Margaret's probably moving her stuff, so I wouldn't expect her either." he answered quietly. 

"Making room, or moving in with Kevin?" 

"No, moving in at my house... Parents, you know? Anyway, she said they'll keep her on their health insurance, but that's it." 

Dean was visibly surprised, "Margaret's moving in with you?" 

"Yeah." 

He shook his head, "Bad idea." 

"Why's that?" 

"That's gonna make things way too complicated." Dean answered. 

Alfie scoffed, "Well she's gotta be somewhere." 

"Yeah, well, let me know how that goes in about two weeks." Dean replied, "Make sure you sort that out with Claire before it gets weird." 

"It's not gonna get weird." 

"Yeah, right." Dean said, taking the box to the store room. 

Alfie shook his head and continued to scrape dark muck from the gaps in the part he was holding as Randy started to laugh, "What?" 

"You really think that's not gonna get weird? Your best friend's ex girlfriend is moving into your house, and both of you work with your girlfriend? There's two ways that's gonna end, man, Penthouse forum, or Jerry Springer. Maybe both." 

"No." Alfie chuckled, "Because both of those things are completely fake. It'll be fine. And anyway, Claire and Margaret's ex already know." 

Dean came back out of the store room typing a text on his phone, "You got an unattached woman living in your house, I don't care how you spin it, it's gonna get weird. Either between you and Claire, you and Kevin, or Claire and Margaret. Either way, that stuff gets checked at the door, it doesn't come here, got it?" 

"Yeah. Got it." Alfie replied, rolling his eyes. 

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Okay, y'all, got some stuff in here you're gonna love. And it's not even smut! Wow! LOL
> 
> Thanks for reading, and all your awesome reviews. You guys regularly make my day! FW)

* * *

After what felt like a mountain of paperwork and a blood draw, Margaret was finally ushered to an exam room by a nurse. 

The nurse looked back and forth between Kevin and Margaret, "You're both pretty young. Are you both over eighteen?" 

"Yeah." Margaret replied. 

"Hm." she looked at her clipboard, "Not by much, huh? So why'd you wait so long to get medical care?" 

"I guess I didn't want to think about it. Anyway, doesn't matter, I'm here now." Margaret said softly. 

The nurse shot another suspicious look at Kevin, and nodded, continuing with a host of invasive questions, many of which she'd already written down in her patient history forms. 

"Y'know," Kevin said quietly during a gap in the medical interrogation, "I can wait in the lobby if you want, and they can just pull me back in for the ultrasound." 

Margaret shrugged, "Like you don't know all this stuff anyway. And what if they need to know something from you?" 

"Right... Okay, staying put. Just saying, kick me out any time you want." Kevin said, looking around at the various charts on the walls. 

"Are you two monogamous?" the nurse asked. 

"We were, but we split up." Margaret answered. 

"Mm-hm. Okay, we'll run a full panel just to be on the safe side." 

Kevin didn't care for the woman's attitude, or the looks he kept getting. 

"What are your living arrangements like?" 

Margaret took a deep breath, "My parents kicked me out, and I'm living with a friend." 

"You feel safe at home?" Kevin received yet another dagger sharp look from the nurse. 

"Yeah." 

"Any history of abuse?" 

"Um... two exes ago, this one guy choked me." Margaret replied, her voice barely a whisper. 

Kevin quickly looked back to Margaret, "You never told me that." 

"Why would I tell you that?" 

Kevin wanted to argue the point, but the beaten look in her eyes shut him down hard, "None of my business now, I guess." 

"Okay, and you're avoiding uncooked meats, soft cheeses, alcohol, secondhand smoke, all of that? Are you wearing your seat belt flat across your lap, not up against your belly?" 

Margaret nodded, "Yeah, I have an app that I check everything on, tylenol, cheeseburgers, no hot tubs. Which really sucks, because I have this sharp, pulling feeling in the front of my hips." 

"Probably round ligament pain, but I'll mention it the doctor. She'll be with you in just a moment." 

The nurse seemed to nearly bolt from the room, leaving a stillness Kevin found even more uncomfortable. 

"So..." 

"No." Margaret replied, adjusting herself to get more comfortable, "Ancient history, no ass-kicking. Besides, he moved away." 

"What is that round ligament pain? You didn't say anything about being in pain." 

"It's normal. My body has to change shape to make room for the baby. Hips spread out, and all the stuff in them gets stretchier. One of the older moms on my birth board said so." Margaret answered. 

"Is there something they can give you for that?" 

Margaret rolled her eyes, "Are you gonna be worried about everything the whole time, or are you gonna shut up and let me handle it?" 

"You shouldn't have to just handle it, you're busy with the physical side of this stuff. I can't help with that... I think the nurse wants me dead." 

"She's probably just having a bad day." 

"Ten bucks says she thinks I keep you locked in the basement." Kevin said, glancing at the door. 

"Don't be ridiculous. Obviously I'm keeping you in the basement, I only let you out now that you knocked me up." 

Kevin got up to pace, finding a fetal growth chart on the back of the door that he hadn't examined yet, "So, if you're in the second trimester, that means next month you're half way there, right?" 

"I don't know. I just know it's going too fast and taking forever at the same time." Margaret replied, checking her phone. 

"We need car seats, and a crib, and stuff." 

"I need nacho fries." 

"She just said no cheese." 

"She said no soft cheese, not no melted hard cheese with peppers in it." 

Kevin jumped back out of the way as the door swung open, and the obstetrician entered the room. 

"Okay, Ms Danes, how are you feeling today?" She asked, looking at her tablet, and then back to Margaret. 

"I'm good, I guess." 

"What about the round pain things?" Kevin asked. 

"That's not happening right now." Margaret replied. 

The doctor nodded, "Round ligament pain can come and go, but watch it in case it's something more serious. As long as it matches the description on the usual pregnancy websites and isn't too severe, nothing to worry about. Your weight looks good, food stays down okay? No signs of hyperemesis?" 

"That would have been a problem by now, so I'd be past that point, right? Just normal morning sickness from what I can tell." 

"Okay, good. But any weight loss, I wanna know, okay?" Margaret nodded, and she turned to Kevin, "And you're the dad, right?" 

"Right." Kevin replied with an anxious shrug. 

She chuckled, "You must really care, you're a mess. That usually means you'll be okay after you learn to relax." 

The doctor set her tablet down on the counter, "Okay, Ms Danes, how do you prefer to be addressed?" 

"Just Margaret is fine." Margaret answered. 

"Okay, Margaret," she said, pulling a padded shelf out below Margaret's draped knees, "Go ahead and lay back, and let's get a look at your little gummy bear in there. Did you want to find out the gender, or wait?" 

"I thought you don't find out until the fifth month?" Margaret asked. 

"We might be able to tell today. It's never a hundred percent, of course." 

"Okay, yeah, I guess I wanna know." Margaret answered, glancing at Kevin. 

"Hoping for something specific?" she asked. 

"Not really." Margaret replied. 

"How about you, dad? What do you think, boy or girl?" she asked with a friendly grin. 

Kevin stammered, "Um, I... I don't really... uh... healthy?" 

"Great answer. You're gonna do fine." she replied, picking up an external scanner and a tube of gel. 

* * *

Cas hadn't been able to leave the school until late, and used his lunch break the following day to stop at the jewelry store. 

He was tired and stressed from a rough morning, and paid no mind to the other customers, stepping up to one of the side counters, to one side of two large freestanding glass display cases, out of sight from where his lover stood on the other side of the room. 

The cheerful girl behind the counter recognized him immediately, "Just one second, let me get it from the back." 

Dean made his usual installment for Cas' ring, accepted his receipt, and was about to leave when he heard it. 

"There you go, Mr Novak. Come back and let us know what he says." 

Dean turned around immediately, "Cas?" 

At first he tried to consider a good cover story, maybe getting a watch engraved for his brother, but once he saw the size of the back of the open box in Cas' hand, and heard the surprised giggles and quiet squealing of two of the young shop girls, there was no mistaking it. 

"Oh my god! This is so cute!" one chirped to her coworker. 

Cas gave the girls a surprised look as it dawned on him as well, and turned back to Dean with a shrug, and started to turn the open box toward him. 

Dean reached out quickly and closed the box in Cas' hand. 

"Okay... so, we're both here for the same reason, I guess that means it's a mutual yes?" Dean asked, and waited for Cas' nod, "So how about.. we wait on yours, then we both start wearing them?" 

Cas gave another mute nod, and pulled Dean close for a kiss. 

"If I had known, I would have taken the day off, but I have to get back to the school." Cas said quietly, slipping the box into his pocket. 

"Yeah, well, neither of us planned this part, huh?" Dean chuckled, "Let's go out tonight, celebrate, then we'll tell the kids later." 

Cas grinned, wrapping his arms around Dean, whispering next to his ear, "I love you." 

"I love you, too." Dean replied, giving him a tight squeeze, "Don't be late getting home tonight, okay?" 

"I won't." Cas said, a pleased smile refusing to leave his face as they both moved toward the door. 

A pleasant voice nearly snapped them both out of their happy fog, "Come back and see us for your wedding bands!" 

* * *

"No way I'm putting up with it anymore." Jack replied, pausing as the bus went over a rough patch, "Kayla kicked me in the crotch a few times, the one time I told, my dad freaked out. Took her phone away for a month. But she's not even your sister, so all you have to do is make up some crap to tell your dad, and she won't bother you. It's not like you're family." 

"Our dads have been dating for a couple years, so she kind of is." 

Jack scoffed, "You have no idea how good you've got it being an only child. Just keep them from moving in together until she's out of the way, and you're golden." 

"Yeah, whatever," Xander snorted, "Being an only child sucks." 

"Yeah, if you can't have anyone over, maybe. But Ben's got it made once the bitch moves out." Jack answered, "Me, I'm stuck with the stupid princess being the favorite even when she's gone most of the year." 

"I don't get it, why do you hate your sister so much?" Ben asked. 

"Remember when I hit you with the chair?" Jack asked. 

"Yeah. Kind of hard to forget." 

"I was grounded for a month. I mean, not because I broke your arm, but right before that. My parents were gone, Kayla and her boyfriend were drinking, I got bored and lit one of her collector dolls on fire in the kitchen sink. The alarm company called the fire department and my parents came home freaking out, but she was supposed to be watching me, so she should have gotten in trouble. They didn't even care. They were only mad that everyone found out she was messing around with some college guy that had a girlfriend, and ruined her chance for prom queen. They didn't care that I broke your arm, either, not until the whole town knew." 

"Claire's not like that, though. Most of the time she's cool." 

"Just wait. It's just like I keep telling you, the minute they have to choose, her or you, it's gonna be her. It already is, you said your dad was mad at you, but she's the one who kicked you in the crotch. It's not like you punched her in the tit or something. All you did was tell her to mind her own business and show her you weren't messing around." 

Ben considered Jack's advice, and that Jack had more experience with such a family dynamic than he did, and who else might have better advice for him. 

* * *

The door from the garage swung shut as Jess turned off the crock pot. 

"Perfect timing!" she called, "Dinner's ready whenever we are." 

Sam followed her voice to the kitchen, "Did you just get home?" 

"About twenty minutes ago." 

"You left the dome light on in your car." Sam said, "I got it, though." 

"How was work?" Jess asked as Sam's phone started to ring. 

"Much better than yesterday. One long mediation that actually ended with both of the parents pretty happy with the set up, and I helped a couple of foster parents file for adoption. Those kids are in great hands." he replied as he pressed the button, "Hey, Dean." 

"Hey, Uncle Sam." Ben's voice came through. 

"Ah.. Not Dean. Hi, Ben." 

Jess, busying herself with a quick side dish, waved in his general direction. 

"Aunt Jess says hi." Sam said, "What's up?" 

"Did you get in fights with my dad when you guys were kids?" Ben asked. 

"Uh, yeah. That's pretty normal for two kids in the same house. But I didn't see him much at all after he was about fourteen, I would have been, um, ten I guess, when our dad kicked him out. But you already know about that." Sam replied, "Kind of a weird thing to ask about. Is everything going okay?" 

Ben sounded sheepish as he answered, "I got in a fight with Claire, and my dad was super pissed about it." 

"Like an argument?" Sam asked. 

"No, she... she told my dad about something stupid, and I called her something..." 

"He won't stay mad at you, Ben. Trust me, I've done a lot worse, and your dad and I are closer than ever. He's... He's a very forgiving person, especially when it comes to family." 

"My friend Jack says when there's a girl in the family all boys become second class citizens." Ben complained. 

Sam stifled a chuckle, "That sounds like Jack has his own problems." 

"Yeah, a sister one year older than Claire. So he knows this stuff." 

Sam caught the sound of a door opening through the phone, and Dean's voice, muffled by distance, "Sounds like your dad's home. Mind if I say hi?" 

"Sure." Ben answered, and a shuffling sound occurred, "It's Uncle Sam." 

"Hey Sam." Dean's voice was much clearer now, "How's it going?" 

"Good. Really good, actually. Ben just seemed like he had some things to get off his chest. Is he still going to counseling?" 

"Uh, no. We kind of got to an end point, there. They did all they could, and he didn't really need to keep going." Dean replied. 

"He was talking about some argument with Claire, and I was wondering how stuff was going with that other thing." Sam said quietly, as Jess looked up with a grin and raised eyebrows. 

"Yeah," Dean chucked, "Actually, funny you should bring that up." 

"Yeah?" Sam asked, Jess' full attention coming to the phone. 

"Yeah. Long story, but, um, short version is that it's happening. There was definitely a yes." 

Sam gave Jess a thumbs up as his grin widened, "That's great, Dean. I'm really happy for you. And Jess is thrilled, too." 

"Awesome, but keep it quiet until we tell them, okay?" 

"Yeah. Yeah, no worries." Sam answered, "You might want to have a long talk with Ben, though, before he finds out. Maybe ask him about his buddy's sister. I think he's getting the wrong idea." 

Dean watched as Ben moved to the couch, picking up a book he'd left on the coffee table, "Is that right?" 

"Yeah, definitely something you want to keep an eye on. Also, kinda messes with birth order, you know?" Sam answered. 

"Yeah, I guess I understand that. So, what else is going on?" Dean asked. 

"Nothing much. Ben's the one who called. If anything, I'd say that pretty much spells it out." 

"Right. Okay, well, I better look into that. Thanks, Sam." 

Ben barely noticed when Dean hung up and came into the living room, tilting his head, looking for his son's face, "So... anything you want to talk about?" 

Ben shrugged, and turned a page. 

"You know, I've known you long enough to know that look." Dean said, sitting on the arm of his chair, facing Ben, "That's the look you get when you're trying to be macho, don't want to talk about your feelings, but something is just... eating you up inside, and then, then you start breaking stuff... Only you're not breaking stuff anymore, right?... Because I got this impression, you know, that you were done with that. That the counseling worked, and you were just a normal, healthy kid. A kid who knows how to handle it when he gets angry, or scared." 

Ben looked up for a second without meaning to, "I don't feel like talking." 

"Right. No, instead, you wanna break stuff. But you don't want to break stuff anymore. Now, you want to run around with a bunch of jerks, ruin things that aren't yours, pick on the people who love you-" 

Ben threw his book across the room, shoving himself off the couch and heading for the stairs, "Shut up!" 

Dean stepped in front of him, blocking his way, "You think you can start crap with Cas and Claire because they don't live here? Because things have been pretty good up until recently. They've been a family to us, Ben. To you. They care about you. But kids who go around breaking crap for no reason? A lot of times they turn into adults who break people. Seems like you're walking that line." 

Ben shoved against Dean's stomach and tried to slip past him, but Dean pulled him into a hug as Ben quickly stopped struggling, knowing full well from years of playful wrestling that he was at an extreme disadvantage. 

Dean rested his chin on Ben's head, "You want to tell me what's really going on?... Why you called Sam?... Why Sam thinks this has to do with one of your friends?" 

"Yeah," Ben answered sarcastically, "I wanted to see if I could go live with them so you can go live with Cas and Claire and have a stupid, perfect family." 

Dean nodded, "Okay... I get it. You think you're being replaced. But that's not true." 

"Jack says Claire could beat the crap out of me and you'd get mad at me for bleeding on the carpet." Ben grumbled. 

"I'm not Jack's parents, and neither is Cas. We don't do shit that way... Now, I figured you had it coming, but when Claire kicked you, Cas was pissed... At her. Because you're still a kid, and he wants to protect you. Claire brought you straight home to keep you out of trouble with the cops, and you know why? She doesn't want you to have a record, because hers, as minor as it is, enough though I dropped the charges, made it harder for her to get into college, and she doesn't want that for you... Even when you're treating them like crap, they still stick their necks out for you. You need to think about that." 

Dean let go, "You wanna go hide in your room instead of dealing with it, that's your choice, but you'll only be making it worse." 

Ben didn't move, "Everything Jack said so far has been right. So why should I listen to you instead of him?" 

Dean shrugged, "He can't be right all the time. Or maybe you're only hearing half the story, or only what you wanna hear. So, what's the deal with his sister?" 

"Kayla beats him up, and their parents don't care." Ben stated flatly. 

"Yeah? Does she drive him to baseball practice? Or teach him how to spike his hair up in a mohawk on the weekends? Or let him tag along with her and her friends to movies he's not allowed to see?- Yeah, I know about that... And does Jack hear about any of that? Or just the parts that suck?" 

Ben didn't meet his eyes, instead sitting back down on the couch. 

"Okay, so maybe your buddy's sister is a real piece of work, and his parents let it slide, but we are not talking about their family. We're talking about this one. Now obviously, if you're getting advice about Claire from Jack, you're starting to see a connection. Claire's been treating you like a little brother from day one. I have one of those, so I saw it even before Cas did. Now all of a sudden, you're not treating her like a sister anymore. But you were, before you made that connection and freaked out." 

"Uncle Sam said fights were normal." 

"Between kids, sure. But she's old enough to vote, smoke, and serve our country. That's a bigger age gap than me and Sam... She ever hit you, punch you, anything besides that one kick? Which, in case I need to remind you, only happened after you slapped her and called her a bitch." 

"No... She popped me on the head a few times, but it was a joke. Didn't hurt." 

"How hard did you slap her?" 

Ben didn't respond. 

"Does that sound anything at all like how things are for Jack?" 

Ben shook his head. 

"I have seen Claire get violent with her dad, with her friends, and I've even taken a few of her hits, so trust me when I tell you, she was really holding back. You might be bigger, but she was still looking out for you... Now, me and Cas are going out tonight. You're old enough to stay home by yourself, but I checked with Claire, she's going to be home in case you need anything, because she's still willing to look out for you." 

Ben looked up in surprise, "Why?" 

"Because that's how family works. If you have any sense, though, you could try to take that as an opportunity to apologize." 

* * *

Kevin gently flattened the ultrasound printouts in the scanner of his mother's computer, taking care not to fold any corners as Margaret checked her phone. 

"Did you want an extra copy for your parents?" he asked. 

"No. They can suffer. I told them it was all or nothing." she said, matter-of-factly. 

After waiting on the photos to load, he pulled the originals from the scanner again, "I can't believe they couldn't tell. I mean, how's it going to get any different in a month?" 

Margaret shrugged, "Whatever. In sure we've got time before we have to pick out sports or tutus." 

Kevin scoffed, "Any kid of mine, you better be ready for both." 

Margaret gave a nodding shrug. "So, you told your mom?" 

"Yeah." 

"What'd she say?" 

"She said she's excited, and thinks we'll be good parents." Kevin replied, "And she said the baby's going to be cute." 

"She's not mad?" 

Kevin shrugged, "She acted like it at first, but I told her to cool it." 

"How do you do that?" Margaret mused. 

"I have no idea. It just works. You want me to talk to your folks?" 

"No. They kicked out their pregnant daughter, why would I want to be around anyone like that?" 

"If you don't check your voice mail, you'll never know if they changed their tune." 

"They haven't called. And I know they know my number, so obviously, they're sticking to their guns... Can you block out my social security number on that?" 

"Yeah, hang on." Kevin replied, "You know, we could pull something off the web, stick your name on it and tell your folks you're having four or five. That could be fun." 

"That requires contact. They're dead to me." 

Kevin enlarged one of the images, "This would be an outline, right?" 

Margaret looked closer, leaning over his shoulder, "Yeah, so, there's the spine, that's a hand, and I think that's a knee." 

"That's really cool... I mean, not as cool as seeing it move on the screen, but, still cool." Kevin muttered, "Hey, how's this gonna work, when you're in labor?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"Well, like, we're not..." 

"You already saw all of it, genius. That's how the kid happened." 

"Trying not to invade your space. Sue me for trying to be respectful." 

Margaret nodded, "Right, well, I'm pretty sure I'll either be in too much pain to care who's in the room, or I'll want you close enough to murder." 

"Who are you putting down for your emergency contact?" Kevin asked in a more serious tone. 

"I don't know. Probably you." 

"Yeah, but if something goes wrong, I mean, who do you want making medical decisions?" 

"The doctor, probably." Margaret replied with a roll of her eyes. 

"If you don't have someone written down,-" 

"Look, is not gonna matter. If they need to do an emergency c-section and I'm knocked out and they need permission to do something for the baby, handle it." 

"And if the baby's fine and something goes wrong with you? It happens. And I'm not sure I want that responsibility. Because either way, everyone knows you're my ex. That's a huge red flag." 

"So I have to find someone else? That's what you're telling me?" 

Kevin shrugged, "That's what you told me a few months ago, so don't look so offended." 

"Fine. But you're still the baby's emergency contact." 

* * *


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: So, I zipped through a chapter and a half... Yes, some mega destiel is coming, [pun? Maybe] big scene coming up, watch for chapter 10, kind of had to take a break from it. Yikes.
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> You may have noticed, but I love me some drunk and/or high Cas. Tons.
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> Warning: mentions of blood in this chapter... Not painful, injury kind, just biological bodies do this sometimes kind.
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> I had a plan for a plot point I found too disturbing for this story, and the ages involved.. If a third story comes of this, there will be some dark stuff in it, and there will be some set up for it in this one. Gosh, the whole planning out the story thing has really improved my stuff. Writing down stuff for later, then coming back to the list when I hit a block and going, 'dang! Yes! Doing that!'
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> Thank you all for reading! You folks make my day, regularly! Love to you all! FW)

* * *

Ben gave Nick her command to stay inside the fence as he made for the road. 

After Dean and Cas had left, he'd waited for a while before calling Jack. Jack had only reiterated that any involvement with Claire was asking for trouble, exactly as Ben had predicted. 

He had a sneaking suspicion that his father was right, as he had been many times before, and considered his options to test this theory. 

He'd hoped to get all the way to the front porch and figure out what to say before knocking, but he'd only made it to the Novak's driveway when the door of the Chevelle shut firmly and Claire was standing next to it with a handheld vacuum. 

"What's going on?" she asked. 

"Um... Sorry for calling you a bitch... and slapping you." Ben muttered. 

Claire nodded, "Okay... Don't let it happen again." 

"I won't." Ben replied. 

Claire took the small vacuum into the open garage and dumped it's contents into a trash bin as Ben continued to stand around awkwardly. 

"So, that's it? No emergency?" 

Ben shook his head. 

"Okay. I know normally I'd dig out a horror movie, but I've got three chapters I have to get through before tomorrow morning, so, rain check?" Claire asked. 

Ben had a moment of confusion, as he'd expected her to be in a bad mood, or threaten him further. He hadn't even considered the possibility that she'd forgive him right away, not as hard as she'd kicked him when it had happened. He nodded, "Yeah, okay." 

Ben turned around and headed for home, considering something Jack had told him on the phone, that Claire didn't deserve an apology, that she'd just have an attitude and be rude in response. 

Jack had been wrong. Dean had been right, Claire and Kayla were very different people. The Lytton household did things very differently, and Ben couldn't expect the same reaction from Claire that Jack could expect from his sister. 

* * *

"It's a lot to think about," Dean said over the music, "I know. Just the logistics, and all. And then, I mean, just how big of a ceremony, or do we hit the J.P. and call it a day?" 

Cas downed another shot, "Hm... Well, from everything I've heard, we at least get to skip the biggest hurdle." 

"Yeah?" Dean asked. 

Cas nodded, "Anything that can cost thousands of dollars only to be worn once, and an agonizing decision since there are millions of varieties and styles to worry about, complicated sizing, trains, sleeves, veils, fabrics, a thousand shades of white. No, thank you... A choice between suit or a tux, and we're set." 

"Amen to that!" Dean answered jovially. 

"But when do we start combining households? And where?" Cas slurred slightly, making Dean chuckle. 

"Well, we have options. I mean, Claire's nineteen. Depending on how much she wants to spread her wings, you could just move in with me and Ben, since you're gonna leave her the house and the land anyway." 

Cas nodded, the occasional small pause cropping up between his words, "I see that. But I missed a very large portion of her life already, and I don't want to push her away... There's three bedrooms if I move my office. Or one could be built over the living room, since there's no second floor there." 

"Another idea would be, we could build another room onto Bobby's old house. Or, if Claire wants to be close by but wants her own place, she could take Bobby's house, and Ben and I move, then you still have your office, no construction needed." 

Cas shrugged, "Her room... It's something that came out during therapy, it's just... she needs it. So, if we need to move my office, that's fine, but I can't ask her to move out of her room. It's really a very important... thing... Very important." 

"Oh. Okay, so we'll keep that in mind. More stuff to think about, huh?" Dean said with a soft smile, "Well, we'll figure it out. It'll be easier to know what we're doing when we get the kids in on this." 

Cas smiled softly, turning his glass around where it sat on the table. Dean watched his face as he began to chuckle at some fleeting, amusing thought, before looking up and meeting his eyes, "Dean... everyone else... I always had doubts. Right from the very beginning. But you... even when I was wrong, I was sure about it. I was sure you were straight-" 

Dean couldn't help laughing, which caused a chuckle to rise in Cas' voice as he continued. 

"-I was sure you were going to hit me with that wrench that time, and I was sure you were a top, but... I don't get that... you know, that nagging doubt that really just, right? Plagues the mind, follows you everywhere, whispers in your ear about failure, betrayal, and drifting apart, and just... you're like a solid..." Cas shrugged as his mind struggled for words to describe his thoughts and feelings, "...You're a certainty. You are... There. Like, really there." 

Dean tried not to smirk at his somewhat drunken rambling concerning his feelings, "And I'm not going anywhere?" 

Cas nodded, "That's... exactly that. I didn't plan to ask you because I wanted to get you to stay, I just know you're going to. But... I need that." 

"You need a glass of water." 

With a quiet laugh, Cas gave a nod of agreement and started for the bar. 

* * *

Claire heard the door close loudly when Cas arrived home, and barely looked up from her desk. 

The sound of her father making his way up the stairs was slow, clumsy, and obvious, but she remained unconcerned as he reached the top of the stairs. 

Cas leaned against her doorframe for a moment as she continued to take notes, shuffling between her spiral and two different books, with a web search up on her computer screen. 

He slipped through her door, which sat mostly closed, and leaned over the back of her chair, putting his arms around her shoulders and pressing his cheek to her head. 

"Dean drove, right?" 

"Dean always drives." Cas slurred, "But, it's a very nice car." 

Claire nodded, "Yeah, okay." 

"Be home for dinner tomorrow, 'kay? I want to have a nice family dinner, us, and Dean and Ben. You're not really around much lately. I barely see you for days at a time." Cas said quietly. 

"Yeah, well, school is my full time job right now, remember? Everything else, I can skip." 

"Don't skip this, please... It's important to have time with family. Seems like any day you don't have work, you're at Alfie's, anyway. We do miss you out here." 

"That reminds me, I'm going to Houston with Alfie for one of these art things. His aunt won't be there." 

Cas swayed slightly, "Well, I'm glad you're telling me... He's very talented, the recognition is...um... Well deserved." 

"So, anything else? Or just try to be home tomorrow?" Claire asked. 

Cas shook his head, giving her another squeeze before heading for his room. He paused when he reached her door, briefly noticing the poster before quickly looking away from it, "Very talented... Is that being shown at this thing in Houston?" 

"No.. That's, um, just for me... And now I'm wondering why I didn't hang it in the closet." 

Cas shrugged, opening the door a bit wider, carefully avoiding looking at the back of the door, "I'm a bit preoccupied, I very much doubt I'll remember any details tomorrow." 

Claire quickly got out of her chair and caught him by the ribs and an upper arm as he started to leave the room, steering him carefully, "Watch the stairs... Okay, you sure you can walk?" 

"I'm very proud of you." 

"How come you only get this goofy when you're out with Dean?" 

"Love does that." 

"Yeah? What proof is on the label of that bottle of love?" 

"Rings." 

"What?" Claire asked, stopping in her tracks. 

"Sorry, that was supposed to be a secret until dinner tomorrow." Cas said quietly, leaning on the railing toward the first floor a little too heavily for Claire's liking. 

"I'll act surprised. Now, come on, you lean on that too much, it's gonna break." 

Cas put an arm around Claire's shoulders as she tried to keep him moving, "So, somebody got a ring, huh?" 

Cas nodded, "It was completely an accident. We were both buying rings. I went to pick his up at the store, and there he was... Mine's not done, but, when it is,-" 

Cas shifted awkwardly, and dug into his jacket pocket, withdrawing the ring box he hadn't yet put away, opening it carefully, "He hasn't seen it yet... Do you think he'll like it?" 

Claire looked carefully at the very masculine ring. The band carried an intricate design of rounded edges and a deeply set stone. 

"It's pretty, for a guy's ring." she answered. 

"I tried to get one that would be easy to clean, and the diamond won't get broken off..." 

Claire nodded, starting him back toward his door, "Well, just so you know, he shouldn't wear a ring when he's working on a car. Anything that can catch on a machine is a bad idea. He told me my first day that he had a friend catch something on his wedding band and it took his finger off. So if he takes it off, no freaking out. And since that's going to be a regular thing, no freaking out if he loses it, either." 

"Thank you for telling me that." Cas said with a nod, "Though you might need to remind me tomorrow." 

"It's okay, dad. I got your back." 

"You always do." Cas said, then started to chuckle, "It's not even a particularly expensive ring, probably only a quarter of what that necklace was." 

Claire popped his door open for him, "What necklace?" 

"The one Alfie gave you. That early on, that was... That was an inappropriate amount to spend, but Dean did have a point. So, I let it slide. He's a good person." Cas gave her a tight hug, "As long as he treats you well, he can stick around. Won't get any trouble from me." 

"Okay, dad. You need to get some sleep." 

"If he... he... I mean it, and Dean-" 

"Yeah. Guns. You said that last time you were this far gone. To Alfie's face, even, right after he helped you with the pickle jar. Goodnight, dad." 

"Yeah... Goodnight, princess." Cas mumbled, stepping into his room as Claire headed back to her own with a smile, and a small shake of her head. 

"Dork." 

* * *

Dean heard the office door at a quarter till two, and soon Claire had entered the garage. 

"How bad was the hangover?" Dean asked as she went for her coveralls. 

"Pretty bad, he waited and went in to work at ten. You guys need to settle down a bit." 

Dean chuckled at her phrasing, and continued to pick up stray vehicle manuals that had migrated in from the bookshelves, and made for the hallway. 

Margaret was shifting uncomfortably in the chair, fidgeting with her waistband with one hand, and going through the list of customers who needed to be called to pick up their vehicles with the other. 

Dean waited until she'd ended one call, putting a check mark by the name, before pointing to busy hand, "Getting tight?" 

Margaret nodded, "Yeah, and just, everything itches, too." 

"Lisa had the same problem. Sorry. Might make it a little easier if you use a hair tie on the buttonhole, though. Works for most jeans, gives you some time before you need real maternity clothes." 

"A hair tie?" Margaret asked. 

"Yep." Dean replied, starting to shelve the books, "Around the button, through the buttonhole, and back around the button. Then later, just put one loop through the other, and use that one. Nobody told you that? I thought your sister had a kid?" 

Margaret scoffed, "I tried calling her, she never called back. Probably judging me like my parents." 

"Well, it's your life. Don't let anyone threaten you into doing things you don't want to do." 

Margaret nodded, "Yeah, well, it's still making things difficult... I need somebody to be an emergency contact, and Kevin won't do it." 

"What? Why?" 

"He says if something goes wrong, he'll be responsible for the baby, but he doesn't want to be responsible making medical decisions for his ex. Like he's going to have to make a decision to take me off life support or something." 

"What about his mom?" 

Margaret shrugged, "Still kind of close to the situation... Would you do it?" 

Dean thought for a moment, "If I do, I'm gonna hold it over his head forever." 

"Yeah, but he deserves it, since I'm kind of alone on this." 

"Okay. Yeah, I'll be your emergency contact." Dean replied, "You guys working on child support and custody and stuff?" 

"Not yet. But I'm going to try to talk to him about it later on. Right now he's still freaking out about a lot of stuff. But I guess that's better than if he didn't care, right?" 

"Yeah, well, there's good and bad in every part of it. There's the kind of guy who'll ditch, and the kind of guy who hangs around and gets too controlling, or tells you everything you decide on is wrong. But you broke up with him, so, go with your gut. I know my brother can help you guys with a custody agreement, he's got a law office thirty minutes up the road, all he does is family law." 

Margaret nodded, and Dean headed back into the garage as she pulled an elastic band from her pocket. 

* * *

Cas looked around the kitchen as he attempted to call Claire's phone. Ben came through, grabbing a soda from the fridge, and Cas gave him salutary pat on the back of his shoulder as he passed. 

Dean came in through the front door a few moments afterward, with Claire's ringing phone in his hand, "Not gonna have any luck, there. She left it at the shop. She and Margaret left in a hurry, I was out, and they didn't tell the guys why." 

Cas looked exhausted, "She said she'd be home tonight, I expected her back an hour ago." 

Dean shrugged, "It happens. Might have been an emergency." 

"Wouldn't they have said it was an emergency?" 

Dean shrugged, "Maybe not. I don't think most of the guys in the shop have noticed yet." 

"Noticed what?" 

"That Margaret's expecting. Claire didn't tell you? That's why she had to move all of a sudden, and probably why she wanted a job so bad." 

Cas ran a hand over his forehead, "Claire has left me completely out of the loop. Where is Margaret living now?" 

"She moved in with Alfie. His place is pretty big, and her folks sent her packing. Claire really didn't say anything?" 

"When would she do that? She's never home except to huddle at her desk and barely speak." Cas grumbled, "She did say she'd be here, though." 

"Give her some time, we can wait a while." 

* * *

"Is he coming down here?" Margaret fussed. 

"He said he is. He left his class early. Just try to relax." Claire replied, anxiously checking Margaret's phone again below the level of the bench-like bed, "Deep breaths, think about good stuff, right?" 

Margaret nodded and took a deep, meditative breath, starting to release it slowly, then speaking quickly, "Why do they want me to be calm? How do they think I can be calm like this?" 

"What if nothing's wrong, but you freaking out makes something wrong? That's probably why they want you to relax." Claire replied, "So, he should be here any time now." 

"How long have we been in here?" Margaret asked, looking at the pathetically thin curtains that surrounded them. 

"Long enough that Kevin says he's in the parking lot, and headed in." Claire answered. 

"Thank God! I freakin' hate hospitals." 

A nurse came in with a fetal doppler and was going over Margaret's belly with it, looking for the heartbeat when Kevin found them. 

"Hey, what happened?" Kevin asked, ducking inside. 

"I'm bleeding and I don't know why." Margaret replied, "So they're checking on the baby." 

"It's probably nothing, the heartbeat is normal, about a hundred and forty beats per minute, no sign of fetal distress. We're waiting to hear back from your O.B." the nurse said reassuringly, "Sometimes a hard day, or a lot of stress, or sex can jiggle things enough to cause a little spotting, but as long as you're not cramping, the baby should stay put without help. Were you doing anything strenuous today?" 

"I sat in a chair and made phone calls." Margaret replied flatly. 

"Bill collector?" 

"No, more like, 'your car is done, come get it.'" 

The nurse nodded, "Okay. Is there anyone we should call for you? Your mom, maybe?" 

"No..." Margaret answered in a saddened tone, "She's not gonna care." 

"Who's taking you home?" 

Claire looked up, glancing between Kevin and Margaret. 

"I can. I'm right across the street." Kevin said quietly. 

The nurse nodded, "Are you the baby's father?" 

"Yeah." 

"So you understand, she needs to be comfortable, and try to stay laying down until it stops completely. After that, she's fine to do anything she wants, as long as it doesn't cause any pain or discomfort. Nothing to stress her out. Got it?" 

"How long is that going to take?" Margaret asked. 

The nurse shrugged, "It'll stop when it stops. More than three or four hours, or if it gets heavier, you'll want to come right back in. Same with any cramping. If you do start cramping it could be an early labor, we can usually shut down labor, but if you get too far into it, you'll wind up miscarrying." 

"I need to get home, are you cool with Kevin taking over?" Claire asked quietly. 

"Yeah. Thanks for sticking with me." Margaret replied. 

"Call if you need to. I'll answer as soon as I get my phone back." Claire said, giving Margaret's shoulder a squeeze. She stopped to give Kevin a quick hug on her way out, and disappeared behind the curtain. 

Kevin didn't catch what the nurse said to Margaret before she left as well, but once she was gone, he took a seat in the chair Claire had left. 

"So the heartbeat is good?" 

"Yeah." 

"You feeling okay?" 

Margaret nodded, "Just worried." 

"So, now what?" 

"We're waiting until the hospital hears from my doctor to see if she wants an ultrasound done." 

Kevin nodded, "Okay, so... no stress... Get your mind off it? I messed up today." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah. Bangs. Couldn't get them to come out at the right angle to line up with the side bangs. And then we started learning about shaping nails, and the instructor says, 'Now, if you're here, you probably already have a good idea on this,' so I throw my hand up and say, 'What if we don't?' So she starts glaring at me, and Yvonne starts laughing, and says I'm gonna teach them all about sports, then Callie says 'Shirts or skins?'... So they're all laughing, and yeah, it was funny, but the instructor is pissed, just staring at me like she's gonna eat my liver. Kind of like that one nurse." 

Margaret chuckled softly as Kevin looked around the room. 

"I don't get it, it's like I knocked you up, and out of nowhere all these random women suddenly hate me. It's like they know, they can sense it or something." 

"Pheromones? Maybe you got a pregnancy smell on you when you felt the baby move." 

The curtain shifted aside and the nurse returned with wheelchair, "Your O.B. wants a quick look to see if there's anything that would show why you're spotting, so she's headed in, and we're going to get you set up." 

"Should she be sitting up, though? You just told her to stay laying down." Kevin said, gesturing to the wheelchair. 

"I'm sure it's fine, Kev." 

"Well, just, I can carry her, y'know, she's kind of small to start with." 

"Think of it like this, walking can jiggle things loose, but sitting up for a bit won't matter so much." the nurse replied. 

"So, going home, avoid speedbumps and potholes? Or its cool if she leans the seat back?" Kevin asked as the nurse helped Margaret into the chair. 

"Seat back, drive carefully, and straight to bed. Then you can make yourself useful and bring her dinner." 

"Awesome. I knew if I stuck around long enough you guys would find me something to do." Kevin replied, cheering up slightly. 

"You say that now, but there's going to be plenty later. Sore back, swollen ankles, can't reach to tie your shoes. You don't have a cat, do you?" the nurse asked as they moved to another room. 

"No." Margaret replied. 

"Toxoplasmosis. Makes the litter box dad's job." 

Kevin nodded, "Well, if you want a cat, get a cat. I'll do it." 

"That's sweet." the nurse chucked, "How long have you two been together?" 

"Two years," Kevin answered, "Then the stick turned blue and she chucked me to the curb like yesterday's garage." 

The nurse held her gentle smile as she tensed slightly. "Okay. How about you give us just a minute, and I'll let you know when to come in?" 

Kevin nodded and stepped back into the hall as she closed the door. 

The nurse set the brakes on the chair and helped Margaret up onto the exam table, "Are you sure you're safe with him?" 

"Kevin wouldn't hurt a fly." Margaret answered. 

"You are in an especially vulnerable position right now, and it is very common for abuse to begin during pregnancy." 

"I get that. But I that's not how it is... You're making me uncomfortable and I want him back in the room." Margaret said, a hint of irritation in her voice. 

The nurse nodded, and opened the door, letting Kevin in, "Your doctor should be here in a few minutes. But let us know if you need anything." 

Kevin noticed immediately that Margaret looked rattled as the nurse closed the door, "What's wrong?" 

"She wants to eat your liver. She was just hiding it." Margaret answered, rubbing her hand just below her navel, "Why does skin stretching have to itch so much?" 

Kevin shrugged, "No idea. I mean, I got this baby book on my phone, but I'm only up to month three." 

"Why would you start at the beginning instead of where I'm at?" 

"I figured I needed to catch up." 

"Right." Margaret rolled her eyes, and gestured to her belly, "It's kicking pretty hard right now." 

Kevin gingerly reached to touch her, this time feeling a far firmer motion below the skin, "Hey... do us a favor and stay put for a few more months, okay? I need some time to get you a tricycle and a ramp to jump it off of." 

* * *


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Got a painful one here, scary dream sequence referencing Claire's past. Ouch. Abstract blood, you'll only get it if you already know.
> 
> Just finished a full one-scene-Cas-and-Dean contact sport chapter, did not expect that to be a whole chapter, but it'll be after a bit more set up.
> 
> You're all a whole bunch of awesome! Thanks for reading! FW)

* * *

Claire hurried home, occasionally grimacing at the clock on the stereo. 

Taking the porch stairs two at a time, she was soon through the front door, and paused for a moment before closing it. Cas, Dean, and Ben were all seated at the breakfast table in the kitchen, talking happily. Dean looked up as the door closed, and quickly got up from the table, moving into the kitchen, out of her line of sight. 

Claire set her purse down and headed in as Dean came back to the table with a fourth plate and silverware. She couldn't help but notice as she sat down that everyone else was nearly done. 

"Couldn't wait, huh?" Claire tried to smile but had a difficult time pulling it off. 

"We really had no idea how late you were going to be, or if you were going to be home tonight at all." Cas answered. 

Claire nodded, "Well I had to leave the shop in a hurry. Margaret needed to go to the emergency room." 

"Is she okay?" Dean asked immediately. 

"Yeah, everything seemed normal when I left. And I headed back as soon as Kevin got there." 

Dean nodded, "Right, can't leave her by herself. No car, sometimes you need to run by the pharmacy or get told you shouldn't be walking," he paused, both to shoot a glance at Cas, and to put a helping of the dinner on her plate, "Not a good idea to leave somebody alone like that." 

Claire nodded mutely. 

"Well, we're all here now, so," Cas said quietly, "We have news." 

Claire pretended to push her food around on her plate a bit before feigning interest, more interested in how Ben was going to react. 

Dean reached for Cas' hand, "We're engaged." 

Ben was certainly surprised, but Claire spoke up to give him a chance to compose himself, "Well, congratulations. That's great! ... Not entirely unexpected, either." 

Ben looked at Claire, needing a moment to let her words sink in, "So, you guys are getting married?" 

"That's right." Cas replied. 

"So, then you could just ground me instead of making me do detention." Ben asked. 

"That's the first place your brain goes? Getting in trouble?" Claire chuckled. 

"Now, there's plenty of time to talk it through, but it means we're going to be changing around the living situation a bit." Dean said. 

Claire shrugged, "What's to talk through? Obviously you want to be under one roof, and then there's Ben, but, I've got some news, too." 

"What's that?" Dean asked. 

"I'm moving out." Claire stated simply. 

"Why?" Cas asked, his tone somewhat crushed. 

"Because I have morning classes where I have to drive through town while everyone is crammed into these tiny little roads, when I'm only half awake. All the back and forth is exhausting, and my insomnia is kicking up to where the medication isn't helping." Claire replied, "So I'm moving in at Alfie's. It's only a few blocks from the campus, and half the time I'm there anyway... So, it doesn't really matter if you move over there with them, or move them in here." 

"Claire, this isn't a good idea, you're both still very young-," 

"You'd still have some back and forth for work." Dean pointed out. 

Claire shook her head, "I'm not going to be able to keep working... I'm too tired, and my grades are starting to slip... Sorry I didn't tell you, but I need to graduate." 

"And you think moving in with your boyfriend is going to help you catch up on your sleep?" Dean asked wryly. 

Ben snorted out a chuckle and started to laugh until Claire kicked him under the table, "Ouch!" 

"Claire, don't kick him!" Cas said firmly. 

"Right, no, because those in-school suspensions are working so great." Claire answered, immediately receiving a response in the form of a kick from Ben, "Ow! Quit it, you little worm!" 

"Jesus Christ, they're practically siblings already." Dean muttered, running a hand over his face, "Ben, clear your plate and head home." 

"Why am I in trouble?" 

"You're not. So keep it that way, and do what you're told." Dean replied. 

Ben got up, taking his plate, and snagged Cas and Dean's empty plates as well as he went. 

"Look, I meant to tell you, both of you, and have everything settled by the time classes started, but I took too long, so I've just been hanging on, and there hasn't really been a good time to tell you." Claire shifted uncomfortably, "Sorry to rain on your parade, but it'll make things easier here, I mean, I'm really just in the way." 

"You're not." Dean replied immediately as Ben left the room, "You're a part of this, you belong here. College doesn't last forever, you know." 

"Neither do kids." Claire replied, "They grow up and move on, right? Hell, someday I'll have my own shop, maybe in Dallas, or something, but... As much as I want to be here, I haven't really fit in here for a while." 

Already well aware of Cas' feelings, Dean nodded, "Okay, you two probably have some talking to do. I'm gonna head home. Not that I don't want to be involved, just..." 

Cas nodded with some difficulty as Dean leaned over to give Claire an awkward squeeze before straightening up and giving Cas a quick kiss before he left. 

Claire tried to think of something to say, but Cas spoke first, "What does that mean, you don't fit in here?... Because if I gave you some impression, ever, that you-" 

"No, dad... You didn't do anything, it's just, I'm.. I'm swamped with school, and, even though I don't mean to, I'm kind of drifting away, right? You see that, right? I mean, I couldn't tell you I was driving a pregnant friend to the emergency room, so you had no idea when I'd be back, so none of you even set a place for me. It's not that I think you don't want me here, or that I don't want to be here, it's that maybe I'm not supposed to be here... And I can't keep losing sleep and winding up with near misses on the road in the morning, because that's just a matter of time." 

"I don't think that's the best way to handle this. You might just be going through some sort of depression, there are a lot of things that can cloud your judgement." 

Claire looked up from where she'd been studying the wood grain of the table, "Yeah, I know, you said last night that you miss me." 

"I said that?" 

Claire nodded, "So, if you're gonna wind up missing me anyway, I might as well do what I can to stay safe and make sure I don't end up in another wreck." 

"I was... I was really hoping that even if it was only for a little while, we'd have all four of us under one roof... One big family." Cas said sadly, "But I do see your point." 

"Thanks for not freaking out about this." 

"I'm freaking out on the inside." Cas replied, making her chuckle. 

"I guess I could hold off until Christmas break. Everything's a little crazy right now. Until then, I can try harder to be home on the weekends... Except not this weekend..." 

"What's this weekend?" Cas asked. 

Claire shook her head, "Mostly just seeing how much you remember. You were pretty out of it... I'm going to Houston for an event at this gallery that Alfie's trying to work with." 

"Houston?" 

Claire shrugged, "Yeah. So, when did you want to do all this moving, anyway?" 

Cas shrugged. "Soon, I suppose." 

"So, what, move your office for, I dunno, two months until I move out anyway? Then Ben should get my room, it's bigger. But you need your office. So you might as well just wait, let me get out of the way, and let Ben take my room, or move over there with them in the meantime, or even permanently, and just sell this place to the developers. I know they're still offering you a lot for it." 

"Claire, your room- that's not-... I know how important that is to you." 

Claire shook her head, "Was... It was important, but I didn't know that what I really needed was safety and protection. I got that from you. I don't need to know my room is here for me, because I have you. I know that's not going to change just because I'm done living at home. Ben can have it, I don't need it anymore." 

"I had hoped we could make one change at a time." 

"Yeah, big happy family. I know. But we kind of already have been for a while. And that's okay. Sorry real life is getting in the way of your big family idea, but... It's just not realistic." 

Cas' face carried a rather dejected look as he nodded, "And if this doesn't work out? If you need to move back home?" 

Claire shrugged, "Then Bobby's house will be empty, quiet, and I can pick up where I left off at Singer Auto, and come over for dinner with you guys sometimes." 

It suddenly crossed Cas' mind that it had been one of the options Dean had mentioned. He nodded, "I had hoped for a few more years with you at home." 

"Yeah, well, I already learned how to tie my shoes and ride a bike, so... Can't undo that. And I can't just hang around until I'm thirty just so you can try to make up lost time." 

* * *

Linda jumped as the door flung open. 

"Mom!" Kevin called loudly, "Hey, where're you at?" 

She started to step out of the kitchen as Kevin tried to step inside, running into her. 

His face was nearly split with a grin. He held up a blurry black and white print out, "Check it out!" 

"What am I looking at?" Linda asked, tugging the ultrasound image from his hand, "Still just one, right?" 

"Right. No, look, right there. See?" 

"These things were never clear for me." Linda replied. 

"Right there... It's a boy." 

Linda looked up, "You're having a boy?" 

Kevin nodded, "Maybe. I mean, probably. Technically. I mean, unless the kid says otherwise, it's a guy... How awesome is that? It's not an it anymore, it's a he! Like a real person... I am completely freaking out right now!" 

"I'm very happy for you, sweetie. But how's Margaret?" 

"She's happy, too. But bed rest until she stops spotting, she wanted take-out so we got that already. I have to get back over there and keep being useless." 

Linda nodded, "You didn't drink any coffee from a nurse's station, did you?" 

Kevin shook his head, heading for the door, "No! Just excited!... Later!" 

Linda pulled her phone from her pocket and immediately dialed her sister, "They found out the gender... Yeah... No, it's a boy. Kevin's over the moon... I know, I didn't think he'd react like this, but maybe he just needed some time to come around to the idea... Of course I'm not worried. They'll figure it out eventually, those two belong together... Okay... How's Tom?" 

* * *

Kevin returned to Alfie's at a far quieter pace, the image still in his hand, trying to calm his breathing before he went back to Margaret's room. 

"Okay, Grandma is really happy to hear it's a boy, so his great-auntie probably knew before I got back over here... Who do we tell next?" 

Margaret, curled up across the bed with her brown curls hanging over the side only shrugged, muttering into her arms, "Who cares? He's not even born yet, so we can't even be sure it's really a he. And anyway, why is it you can just show the picture to everybody? If he was outside of my uterus, that'd be like, pornographic. Hell, it being a picture of something inside my body, it already kind of is." 

"When's your due date?" Kevin asked, sitting down on the floor with his back to the side of the bed. 

"Ugh!" Margaret replied stretching out. 

"What?" 

"I wanna go roller skating." 

"You're joking, right?" 

"No. The minute they said bed is my new jail, I just got a ton of energy." 

"I can ditch and let you burn it off, come back later with some ice for your wrist." Kevin chuckled. 

"Fuck off." Margaret replied with an eye roll. 

"Trying to be helpful... Just not _that_ helpful." Kevin muttered, "Okay, so, I'm gonna tell Sandman, since he'll be here in a while. You're closer with Claire lately, the dirty traitor, so, maybe text her? Shit... Dude, if we both die, who gets him?" 

"Your mom." 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yeah, I've decided to be an orphan, so, your mom." 

"She's old, though." 

Margaret turned her head enough to look at him, "Okay, I don't get it, are you just trying to be an ass, or what is this?" 

"I just don't know if she's spry enough to go running after a kid with our kind of energy." Kevin replied, "I mean, she's great, she'll be an epic grandma, but every damn day?... And when he's ten, she'll be fifty-eight. Is that really fair to ask a woman in her sixties to raise a teenager as handsome and incredible as he's gonna be? She barely survived me." 

"Go to the fridge for me." 

"Yeah, what do you need? Olives again?" 

"Just stick your head inside the door, and close it really hard." 

"Margaret, I'm trying to be serious here." Kevin said, adjusting to sit back again. 

"You have got the weirdest way of showing it." 

"I just want to think about what's best for him. It was hard for me, growing up without a dad. And I gave her hell. What about your sister? She's got a son, I only talked to her husband that one time, but he seemed okay." 

Margaret snorted, "That asshole's in A.A., I don't want my baby there." 

"No, you want him here with Sandman, who maybe should think about A.A." Kevin replied, "I'm serious, though. We need a backup plan. And it's better if we both pick who it's gonna be." 

"That reminds me, I got an emergency contact, so you won't have to worry about that." Margaret yawned. 

"Who? Claire? Or Samandriel?" 

"Dean." 

"Dean?... Okay, why Dean?" 

"He has a kid, and medical training, and just lately, he hates your guts for some reason. I already asked him, and he was cool with it." 

Kevin gave a shrugging nod, "He does give good advice.. Wait, why does he hate my guts? You putting together an army of gearheads or something?" 

"Don't need one. And he said his brother does family law, so we can get help to set up custody and stuff." 

"Custody?... Like formal and stuff? I figured we'd just do whatever's best for him. It's not like there's a divorce or something." 

Margaret shrugged, "I want a back up plan for just in case." 

"We're both totally reasonable people, we don't need it." 

"Okay, fine. If I die, my parents can take him away from you and keep him, and make you fight them for custody because we didn't set it up." Margaret snapped. 

"They threw you out because they didn't want him around, they aren't going to try to get him now. And anyway, you're supposed to be on a no-stress mental diet. We'll talk about it later. Preferably sometime you're not bleeding out of your fun bits." Kevin answered, "What's with the attitude, anyway? Hormones and moodswings?" 

"I'm bored, and my boobs hurt, and they're getting too big for my bras." 

"Again, I can ditch and come back later with ice for your wrist." 

"Get out." 

"Sorry, that's all you get with 'just-friends.'" 

"I can't be 'just-friends' with you, Kev." Margaret replied, in a soft, saddened voice. 

"Fine. Then all I've got for you is 'attentive babydaddy.'" Kevin said, getting up and leaving the room. 

* * *

Alfie walked in to find Kevin on the couch, playing a video game with the sound off. Silently, Kevin raised his hand in a greeting, and continued to run his character around the screen, taking out the NPCs. 

Alfie dropped onto the couch next to him, tired from work, with grease stains and sweat in his open uniform shirt over a white tshirt. 

"So... the girls left the shop in a big hurry. Somehow I didn't think it was a surprise shoe sale." 

"Margaret was bleeding. Claire took her to the ER and called me. She's pretty much fine, now, but she can't get out of bed until it stops." Kevin put the game on pause and turned to look at him, "So, she got an ultrasound to check, and the kid is fine, and they told us it's a boy. How awesome is that?" 

"A boy? Cool, yeah. I mean, I didn't think you cared if it was gonna be a boy or a girl?" 

"I didn't, but, it's like it's more real now, not just some blob on a screen with a heartbeat, but like, I'm starting to think what his face is going to look like, and what he's going to sound like, it's kind of starting to freak me out a little." 

Alfie nodded, "Yeah, okay, I guess that makes sense... So does Margaret need anything?" 

"Nah, she's just all kinds of uncomfortable. Can't help with that. But I'm sticking around in case she does need something, or if it gets worse." 

"Are you gonna be able to hear her from the guest room?" 

Kevin looked at the opening of the hallway that ran behind the kitchen, containing the doors for the office, Margaret's room, and the guest room, and shrugged, "Well, it's been ten minutes, so I'm fixing to go check on her again. I'll see what she says." 

"You're bugging her every ten minutes?" 

"No, I was bugging her every five, then she told me to chill, said to come back in twenty, but it's more like every twelve." 

With a look of empathic irritation, Alfie got up from the couch and went straight to Margaret's door, knocking before cracking it open, as Kevin followed curiously. 

"Hey, Margaret? I'm home, if you want me to kick Kevin out of here so you can sleep. I mean, you've got your phone and all, right?" 

Margaret was laying on her side, facing away from the door, and rolled slightly, "No, he's just going to text me every eleven and a half minutes, then come over here and wake me up if I turn it off." 

"No, I would-... Yeah, okay, I guess I would." Kevin replied. 

Alfie shook his head and moved away from the door, "Okay, well, I tried." 

He made it halfway back to the couch before he heard the door close behind him, and made his way to his room, instead. 

* * *

_Cas was in a deep sleep, Dean's bare arm across his chest as the door slowly creaked open and light, delicate footsteps crossed the floor, interrupting the rectangular moonlight that fell on the carpet from the window._

_"Daddy?" a tiny voice whispered, causing him to fight sleep and force his blue eyes open._

_At the edge of the bed stood a small girl. Claire, in her blue Cinderella gown, her hair pinned painfully tight against her scalp, as she was in his favorite photo from her childhood, when she was seven. But along with the stage type makeup she wore was a smattering of yellow, brown and purple bruises, all grayed by the darkness, and black scratches with drying blood, which also splattered her dress._

_"What's wrong, princess?" Cas asked softly, hesitant to get up as the remnants of sleep seemed to hold him down to the bed, "Did you have a bad dream?"_

_"You didn't come visit." she whispered, "You said you were gonna try to visit me for Christmas."_

_Cas' heart broke as he remembered the promise he had made on the phone. She had been five years old, and he had asked her what she wanted for Christmas. He'd always done his best to send her gifts she wanted in addition to her mother's child support checks, even though Claire had confided in him later that many had had the tags removed and given to her 'from Santa,' and later pawned, if they were worth anything._

_She had asked him to visit her. She didn't want a doll, or a bike, or a pony, she wanted to see him. And he had let her mother talk him out of it after promising her that he would try._

_"Didn't you miss me?"_

_"I always missed you, Claire. Every minute." Cas replied in the darkness, "Your mother said it would set expectations, and I would just let you down later, and you'd be crushed."_

_"She crushed me, daddy. Not you. But you promised... did you try?"_

_Cas swallowed hard, looking at her visible injuries, and reached for her hand. At the top edge of her tall glove was the edge of yet another bruise and a scrape, and he wondered how many more he couldn't see._

_Claire, the small, seven year old version of herself, still held her head high, even as his eyes began to water._

_"You're hurt."_

_"Did you try?_

_Cas carefully sat up, swinging his feet to the floor, "Why aren't you crying?"_

_"I can't anymore. Princesses aren't allowed to cry."_

_Cas felt something besides carpet around his toes and looked down to find the hem of her dress dripping blood that pooled on the floor around her feet, and felt his heart leap into his throat._

_Speechless, he reached to pull his bloodied child into his arms, only to watch her duck away as something held him back._

Cas woke roughly, struggling against Dean's arm, and shaking slightly as he got his bearings. 

The room was just as dark, although the look of it was far clearer. Despite a sleepy protest from Dean, he slipped out of the bed, and pulled on his discarded pajama pants, quietly leaving the room. 

Still groggy, he found Claire's door cracked and her desk lamp still on. She'd fallen asleep curled up on her bed with one of her many textbooks. The open side had fallen shut over her hand. 

He took a pencil from the desk and slid it into the book to mark her page before gently pulling it from her hands. 

She stirred slightly, but continued to sleep as he pulled a throw blanket over her. 

"...fucking stab you, bastard..." she muttered in her sleep. 

"Claire?" Cas asked quietly, hoping his voice would calm her. 

"...get off my car..." 

"No one is on your car." 

Claire rubbed her face and seemed to be more relaxed as Cas shut off the lamp on the desk, and left the room. 

Cas crawled back in next to Dean, and was soon wrapped in his lover's soothing embrace, grateful for his touch. 

His mind wandered, as minds do in the small hours of the morning, on the edge of dreams, whether he was being forced to choose between them, and tried to reason that logically, Claire was making her way out into the world anyway. No one had asked her to, it was her decision, and he had been clear that he'd prefer she stay. 

Dean had even discussed the construction of new rooms to keep her nearby, so that certainly wasn't it. 

She wanted to be closer the campus, closer to the young artist she'd fallen hard for, and having gotten to know him better, he couldn't blame her. 

Like all fathers, he worried for her, but he knew that for what really mattered, it was too little, too late. 

* * *

Ben dropped into the seat next to Jack, looking around, "Where's Xander?" 

"Probably ditching. Lucky bastard." Jack muttered. 

"Hey, so, my dad's engaged. Don't say anything, okay?" Ben whispered loudly over the sound of the bus. 

"Aw, shit. Man, I'm sorry. But hey, maybe, since she's not your real sister, you can spy on her or something-" 

"Claire's moving out. That's what she said last night. So she wouldn't be there." 

"Man, so, Smoke-crack is gonna be your step-dad. Dude, this is either gonna rule or suck. Either you'll get away with everything because it scares the teachers, or you'll just be stuck dealing with him at school and at home." 

Ben shrugged, "You need to come hang out more. Smoke-crack and Cas are two totally different people. Cas, at home, he's cool, he helps me with homework, and sometimes he even tells my dad to chill out. He yelled at Claire for kicking me, so, I know he's got my back. He really only sucks at school." 

"So I should come over and hang out with you and your gay dads?" Jack chuckled. 

"Why does that part matter? Terry has moms." 

"Okay, what do you do for fun in a junkyard? Smash windows?" 

"Laser tag, look for old coins, climb stuff. Try not to get bitten by snakes." 

"Water gun fight?" 

"Yeah," Ben replied, "That would be good." 

"Okay, Winchester, set it up. But you're going down." 

* * *


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: So, just a reminder, I have kids. So, Margaret, her hormones, morning sickness, and cravings, there's a lot of experience talking.
> 
>  
> 
> We have some verbal-badass!Claire in this one, and Ben opens up about something to someone, which is actually very telling.
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading! Your reviews are always so delightful! FW)

* * *

It was so familiar, and all was right with the world as slender fingers tugged his hand off her bare skin. Soft hair with the sweet scent of her shampoo left his face, and it was a perfect dream he didn't want to wake from. 

He missed this so badly, it was surprising how desperate he was to hold onto it, thinking of how it usually went. Waking up with the feel of her small, warm body against him, pressing sleepy kisses to her neck, her hands finding him as he started to wake, the taste of her lips... 

Then his eyes cracked open, and it came back harshly. The cold-hearted bitch had ripped his heart from his chest just to watch it continue to beat on the floor. Having finally heard why, and having had time to think it over, he could hardly blame her for it, too, which added to his state of eternal confusion and frustration. 

Fuck her. He could have any girl, all the girls. And the single dad thing? He'd be absolutely killer at it. He just needed to make it work on a platonic level and try not to hate her while they got used to the way things were going to be. They had to be civil and get along for the next eighteen years, at least. 

"What do you want for breakfast?" Kevin called, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. 

He was a bit surprised to hear fairly violent sounding vomiting coming from the attached bathroom, broken with the occasional whimper. 

"Margaret?... you okay?" 

When it calmed and the sink had run for a while, she came through, barely glancing at Kevin before leaving the bedroom. 

"Hey..." 

Kevin followed after her, only to find her looking dispiritedly into the fridge. 

"So, um... walking around, huh? It stopped?" 

"Yeah, basically." Margaret replied, still searching the fridge, "God, there's like, nothing in here." 

"What are you talking about? It's always stocked." 

Margaret shook her head and and went back to her room, adjusting herself clothes just a bit, and finding one of her many hoodies. 

"I need key lime pie." 

"What?" 

"Yeah," she said digging into her purse on top of the dresser, pulling out a set of keys he didn't recognize, "Sour enough to stay down, cold and creamy to get the acid out of my throat." 

"I'll get it for you. You're supposed to stay in bed." 

"Then I can't eat it on the way back from the store. Duh." 

"Then let me drive you." 

"Alfie said I can use his car, he's using his bike." 

"'Alfie' hasn't seen how you drive. Now, I'd rather my kid live, so, please, _please_ get your ass back to bed." 

"Fuck that. I need pie. Or maybe a steak... probably both." 

Kevin nodded, "Fine. I'm going straight to the store, getting those, and you can eat the pie while I cook the steak. Deal?" 

Margaret looked somewhere between anxious and hungry, "Fried egg on top?" 

Kevin rolled his eyes, "Are you still bleeding?" 

"Barely at all." 

"Anything you want, just get back in the damn bed." 

"Fine." she relented, dropping the keys back into her purse. He watched until she'd climbed back into the bed and settled herself, trying not to think of the many times he'd watched her head hit pillows before, and stifled the stirring of his heart that made him want to get in next to her, the same stirring he'd caved to the night before under the guise of practically, and falling asleep while she let him feel the baby kick. 

"You're not getting up, right?" 

"As little as possible." she tugged her phone from the charger on the nightstand and shook it slightly, "See? Just hurry back." 

Kevin gave an exasperated nasal exhale and left the room. 

* * *

Cas had skipped breakfast in favor of a longer, and rather intense morning with Dean, and coffee wasn't making up for the calories he'd lost. 

He pulled a protein bar from his desk drawer as he continued to sort the many articles of mail that had been left on his desk. Anything directed to the school wound up on his desk, despite his many attempts to defer it. 

A familiar, chipper, and very pleasant voice bounced into his office, "So, I heard something happened at the jewelry store. What's the update?" 

Cas couldn't suppress his smile, but Charlie pointed at his face, "I knew it! I knew Riley was onto something! Who popped the Q? Who said yes? C'mon, Cas, dish!" 

"It, um... It was mutual." 

"What? No, you can't do that!" Charlie whined, "Don't sum it all up in one word! There's not enough action and drama for this much suspense!" 

"You want to hear it as a story? I'm not sure I have time." 

"C'mon! I always come through for you." Charlie begged, impatiently sinking into one of the chairs. 

"I... I went to pick up the ring, it was exactly what I ordered, and I actually have it in my jacket pocket, if you want to see it,-" 

"What?" Charlie interrupted, frantic, "Why isn't he wearing it?" 

"I'll get to that." 

"Sorry. Actually, yeah, I wanna see it." Charlie said. 

Cas reached into the pocket of the jacket he had hanging on the back of his chair, withdrawing a ring box which he popped open and set on the desk. 

Charlie gleefully picked it up with raised eyebrows, "Woah, that is the butchest engagement bling I've ever seen... So, go on, why isn't this thing on somebody's finger?" 

Cas spread his hands slightly, "I'm in the shop picking it up, it came in late, much later than usual, and I turn around, and Dean is on his way out, and he's putting a receipt in his pocket. The employees know why he's there, and why I'm there, but they didn't connect the two... of us... I suppose." 

"Yeah? But you had the ring, and he figured it out, why didn't you just take a knee and call it done?" 

"He stopped me." 

"No!... Wait, why?" 

Cas took a moment to watch Charlie formulate several possibilities in her head before he continued, "He said we were both there for the same reason and asked if that meant it was a mutual yes, and I agreed. And he said he'd like to wait until he has my ring, and then we'll exchange them." 

"Ugh! You lovestruck goobers make me sick. And kinda jealous." Charlie said, turning the ring box in her hand to look at the design, "I'm lucky if I find someone who sticks around long enough to 'sync up cycles. Usually simultaneous PMS is enough to bring everything crashing back down to reality. Or, sometimes, ground zero." 

Cas shrugged slightly, "Someday, I'm sure." 

"Well, I've got a date tonight, we'll see how it goes. I saw her a couple of times, but she moved away a few years back. She's moving back to town." 

Cas looked surprised, "I've heard of people moving away, but rarely coming back here." 

Charlie shrugged. "I'm not complaining, she's hot... So, you guys must really be in love, huh?" 

Cas nodded, "Everything between us is perfectly comfortable, it's everything just outside of that inner circle that makes me uneasy." 

"Wait, what? Like the kids?" Charlie asked. Cas gave a small nod, "Cas, that's serious, kids can make or break a marriage, it's not just you two getting married. But you probably get that already, you're a dad." 

"Claire says she's moving out,-" 

"Oh, god." 

"And she said this when we told the kids. She said Ben could have her room, but she's very... fixated on her space, and here she is just throwing it to Ben... I don't even know if Ben wants me around, and they had a pretty physical fight recently..." 

"Family counseling, Cas. Yesterday. Even premarital counseling where they know about couples with preexisting kids. This is red-flag city." 

"It is?" 

Charlie nodded, and gave an emphatic "Yeah! God, what were you thinking buying a ring before you made sure all four of you could get along under one roof?! I don't even have a kid, and I know that!" 

Cas nodded, "This is... this is certainly worth discussing in detail." 

"And Claire?... What the hell? She's only nineteen! Is she joining a sorority?" 

"She plans to quit working and move in with her boyfriend, because it's closer to the campus." Cas said quietly, "She wouldn't be the only girl there, his roommate is pregnant." 

Charlie stared at him for a moment, "No. I know, I know, you can't legally stop her, but, no. Papa bear needs to step in and shut that down. Or at least sort things out with.. the other papa bear... Or something." 

* * *

Claire listened intently as she took notes, her phone carefully hidden in her lap, the screen visible, just in case the vibration went off, so she'd see it immediately if she got a text from Margaret. 

The topic was on the balance needed between pleasing the customer, and retaining profit, and the business sense needed to find the fine line between the two. 

The instructor was speaking about services already rendered, and customers demanding refunds, "... So it depends on a flexible policy. If your employees have already served the bad sandwich, or the good sandwich the customer says is bad, you're out the cost of the sandwich, whatever you do. That's not reclaimable. There's no industry where you can recoup that cost. They eat the sandwich, you eat the cost." 

Claire shot her hand up. 

"Yes?" 

"If I put a new part on a car, and the customer decides not to pay, I may be out labor, but I can remove the part before I give them back their keys, label it as refurbished, and use it in another repair, provided the part is fine." 

"And leave them with a vehicle that doesn't run?" 

"Yes. And people return clothes that don't fit, those can go back on the rack, so I think your analogy only really applies to food service." 

"But you went straight to car repair? Is there something we don't know about you?" 

A young man she vaguely knew from high school, who'd played bass with a band Alfie'd sang with for a few months, she recalled Kevin had introduced them, but she couldn't place his name, burst out laughing, "She's a manager at Singer Automotive." 

"Okay, so, car-repair Barbie? I don't like the work you did on my transmission, and let's pretend for just one second that you're not the only game in town, I want a refund, and what you do next effects your Yelp review, and worse, your word of mouth. What are you going to do for me, so that everyone I know doesn't take their business elsewhere?" 

"What kind of car is it?" Claire asked confidently. 

"Why does that matter?" 

"It matters a lot. First, I'm gonna take it around the block and test it. If it's running a little rough, I'll sort it out, minimal cost if you're friendly about it. If it's fine, but it's a Gremlin, or a piece of crap Pinto, I'm gonna tell you to get a second opinion. I don't have to laugh you out of my shop, because the repair is more likely to cost me time, and because everyone else is gonna laugh you out of their shop, and they won't be shy about it, which is going to bring you back to me, because I'll at least pretend to take you seriously. If the transmission is fine, and it's a newer domestic, I'm still gonna recommend you get a second opinion, probably with your dealership so I don't have to worry about your warranty. If you're a jerk about it, go ahead and take your business elsewhere, because it's an established business with a strong customer base, and we bust our asses to make sure the cars we put back on the road are safe to drive, even if that means making a custom part for some old lady's Yugo and getting paid in cookies. Our customers respect that, and we're not desperate enough for your money to kiss your ass." 

The man at the front of the room nodded, "But your experience from a business level is skewed, because you have a monolopy, the company you work for is the only place I can get my car fixed for the next twenty miles." 

"It's not. There's a small, mostly mobile unit based on the north side of town, Dugan's. Their prices are a little higher, because it adds miles, but their tow rates are lower than ours. They'll tow you out to Singer, and they occasionally come to us for parts. Another option is Levinson's out on Highway 71 west, which Dugan's can tow you to." 

"So do you know that because you use them over your own company, honey?" he asked in a condescending tone. 

"No, sir." Claire answered, giving him a steady look in the eye, "I fix my own car. I don't let anyone else near it. I just have use of all the equipment at Singer as a job perk." 

"I bet you have a strong handshake, too. Your father must be a real man's man." 

Claire stifled a chuckle, "Yeah. They both are." 

With a brief raise of his eyebrows, he stepped back with a nod, gesturing to Claire, "Even though she's not at work, she's still representing her company. I've been rude about the company, I've been rude to her, and she has set me straight on my options to go elsewhere while giving me no reason not to use her company for my car repair needs. I hope you all noticed that. Very professional. So, I'll admit, I was hoping to get a rise out of her and kick her out. But she's got a point about less consumable goods, clothes, furniture and the like, you can occasionally recoup a partial cost, but is it worth the refund, or partial refund to keep a good reputation..." 

* * *

"Dean?" Lucas called, coming in from the office, "Phone." 

"Yeah," Dean said, grunting as he came out of the pit. He made a quick exit, barely wiping his hands on a rag as he made for the front office, which did nothing to clean them. He quickly picked up the phone, "This is Dean." 

"Dean, I'm sorry, you probably left your phone on your desk again." Cas' familiar voice came across. 

"Yeah, no, it's okay. Everything okay?" 

"It's not official business, don't worry about that. Just, we need a long talk. A very long talk." 

"Oh... Well," Dean smirked slightly, "You know I like our talks." 

"Dean, please, this is very important... I've already checked with Claire, she'll come over to sit with Ben later, but, I mean a serious discussion, no alcohol, and... far more clothes." 

"So... everything's not okay?" Dean guessed, "How did we go from this morning to this? Is something bothering you? 'Cause I got time." 

"Just, we need to take this far more seriously than we have been. A car won't go anywhere on just two wheels." 

"That depends on your trick driving." 

"Dean." 

"Baby, I love you, and I will be over tonight. However you want to handle this, I'm there. I promise." Dean replied. 

"That's all I'm asking... I'll see you tonight. I love you, too." Cas said quietly. 

Getting off the phone, Cas turned to Charlie, "I don't know if I want to go over the entire list of issues with you, but thank you." 

"Don't sweat it. So, how's this gonna work, am I your best man or your maid of honor? Ooh! I could throw Dean's stag party! I know which strip club has the hotter girls." 

"I'm not entirely sure that's helping." 

Charlie giggled hard, "Okay, then do I get to kiss the bride before the wedding?" 

"If he's up for it, and you don't mind whiskers." 

"Wait, so that's... Huh. Didn't see that coming... No pun intended." 

Cas let his mind drift, "I hadn't said anything to Dean yet, but if this pans out, I was hoping to involve the children in the wedding ceremony." 

Charlie's face suddenly took on a concerned tone, "Oh, I didn't mean to make you doubt this, Cas. You guys just need to hit this head on before you set a date and pick a caterer... You both love your kids, I mean, I will never forget the time Dean carried Ben out of the elementary school on his back, you almost got fired looking out for him, and I'm sure he adores Claire, even when she's got that attitude thing going on. You just need to widen your lens, okay? Handle that outer circle with the kids, and sort out that happy home. You guys'll be awesome." 

"I hope you're right." 

* * *

Alfie looked up as the door opened, and offered Margaret the box of tissues, patting her shoulder and trying to get her to move enough to let him stand. 

Claire came in and immediately looked concerned, "What's wrong? Why are you crying?... Is that a gardening show?" 

Margaret sniffled harder from where she'd leaned across Alfie's lap, "Just, what if he falls out of a tree, and lands on his head and gets paralyzed? I mean, I can't just tell a little boy he can't climb trees." 

Alfie pointed to Margaret and mouthed to Claire 'Get her off me!' 

Claire gave a mischievous and sympathetic shake of her head, "You're crying at a gardening show... I'm sorry, this must be so tough for you right now." 

"No matter what I do, even if he lives to be a hundred, he's gonna die someday." Margaret said through her tears, "And I'm just not okay with that!" 

"Well, that's good, actually. Because if you were, you wouldn't be a good mom. Moms are supposed to keep their kids alive." Claire reassured her. 

"But whatever I do, someday I'm gonna fuck it all up! My baby is gonna hate me." 

"Yeah, but," Alfie said, awkwardly trying to pat her arm, "It'll probably be Kevin's fault, so don't worry about it." 

"That's not very supportive." Claire said, pretending to be aghast. 

"Kevin hates me and it's going to mess up the baby." Margaret pulled another tissue from the box, "Did I ruin everything? I mean... Did I do this, or is he just being an asshole because he's a jerk?" 

"Little of both..." Alfie muttered. Claire shot him a harsh look, and he gave her a helpless shrug. 

Claire sat down by Margaret's feet, turned toward her, "Look, whatever's going on with Kevin, you guys will figure out a new normal, okay? Just, if I had both my parents involved from the start, I really think things would have been better for me, and they split up before I was born." 

Margaret looked as if she was about to begin another round of crying, and sat up, wrapping her arms around Claire's shoulders, as the predicted wave of sobs began, "Claire, you are really, really such a great friend." 

Alfie carefully got up from the couch while giving Claire a mock salute, and sneaking away. Claire gave him an obviously irritated look, and motioned in reference to Margaret behind Margaret's back, but he only shrugged and headed for his room with a smirk as Claire flipped him a middle finger. 

"Hey," Claire said gently, patting her back, "It's okay, it's just... You need to calm down, okay?... Maybe think about happy things? Did you guys talk about names yet?" 

In a half-second Margaret was suddenly angry, sitting back, "Okay, first off, Kim is not a boy's name! I don't care what that stupid weird looking Sons of stupid biker-town actor guy is named, I'm not naming my son Kim!" 

"Woah... um... Right. Yeah." 

"He needs a boy's name. Or the other kids," the crying was back, "They're gonna pick on him!" 

Claire nodded and passed her the tissues, "So, did Alfie tell you we're heading out tomorrow morning?" 

"Oh. Yeah. Houston, right?" Margaret asked, with a seemingly neutral emotion as she blew her nose. 

"Yeah. So.. are you gonna be okay?" Claire asked cautiously. 

"Oh, yeah. Kevin will be around. He's been great, sometimes." Margaret replied, reaching for the remote, "God, this show is so boring. I can't remember why I had it on." 

* * *

Claire made her way up the front steps with Nick following her as Ben came running around the corner of the house, "Hey, Claire." 

"Hey... Where are you going?" she called after him as he took off into stacks. 

She was still looking in the direction he'd gone when Dean pulled the door open, shaking his head. 

"What's he doing?" 

"Got it into his head he'll do better at sports if he tries to work out. He's doing laps." 

"Between the cars?" 

"He's climbing over one, I think." 

"So, check him for cuts and scrapes when he gets back, or is he pretty much immune to lockjaw by now? He really shouldn't be running around out there." 

Dean gave a weary shrug, "So, how was school?" 

"You know how they say 'those who can't, teach?' I think I found one. Called me car-repair Barbie, admitted he was trying to kick me out of the class, then admitted I was right." 

"Still want your own shop someday, huh?" 

"As long as there's vehicles, they're going to need maintenance and repair. I just have to keep a good balance between books and common sense learned on the job." 

"You mean learned the hard way?" 

Claire shrugged, "This guy knows numbers, but he doesn't know all the stuff you learned from Bobby. If he did, maybe he'd have a better idea where to draw the line on customer service policies." 

"Oh, so, college-girl thinks she's smarter than the teacher?" 

"Which teacher? The brainiac or actual experience?" 

Dean nodded with a chuckle, "Yeah, you're gonna be just fine." 

Ben came around the corner once again as Dean went down the steps, giving a quick, sharp whistle, "You're done. Hit the showers." 

Ben slowed to a stop, panting, leaning on the fence, "That was only eleven!" 

"Yeah, Claire doesn't have to drag you back into the house with a broken leg, so you're done. Behave yourself." 

"Yeah, I already know what she'll do if I don't." Ben said, breathing hard as he headed up the steps. 

Claire waited and followed him inside as Dean left, "Did you guys eat yet?" 

"Uh... if I say no, what are you gonna fix?" 

"Salad." 

"Pass." 

"Thought so. Homework?" 

Ben shook his head. 

"Vincent Price it is." Claire said, making for the couch. 

"Popcorn?" Ben asked, heading for the kitchen. 

"Always." Claire replied, settling into what had become her usual spot, searching one of the options for a streaming rental, "Hey, how did that book report go?" 

"A minus, with a note that I'm improving." 

Claire shrugged, "That's practically an A." 

At the beeps, he collected the bag of popcorn from the microwave and brought it from the couch, "So, how do I tell a girl at school that I don't like her without making her cry?" 

"What?" Claire asked in a startled voice, "Look, I had a girl crying on my shoulder over three different nothings today, so don't ask me that." 

"I tried to ask my dad, but he starts talking weird and trying to explain stuff I don't wanna know." 

Claire chuckled, able to picture Dean's reaction almost to the letter, "Um... how about, 'I just like you as a friend?'" 

"Friendzone a girl?" 

"Sure, why not?" Claire asked, grabbing a handful of popcorn, "Why don't you like her?" 

Ben shrugged, "She's okay, I guess, but Jack likes her, and there's this other girl, but every time this one I don't really like is hanging around us, she ignores Jack-" 

"Hold up. There's another girl?" Claire asked. 

"Yeah, but she doesn't talk." 

"At all? Or just to you?" 

"Uh, she talks to maybe two people." 

Claire nodded, "Okay, forget this girl Jack likes for a second. This shy girl, you like her? Go up and say hi. Say she's got a cool, I don't know, backpack, picture on her shirt, haircut, anything." 

"What's that gonna do, though? Aside from make her run off." 

"Trust me. It's the most harmless way to reach out in the whole universe. Alfie used to walk right past me in high school, and he was just part of the background, because he never said anything. I didn't even know he worked over here." 

"Yeah, but this is like, the complete opposite of that." 

"Just man up, pick a band you're into, and something about her that she obviously made a choice about, not like a birthmark or glasses or something, and say it's cool, and then ask her if she likes that band. It says you like something about her, and you want to find out more, and if she turns out to have the personality of a tree stump, you can play it off as just being friendly because she looked lonely." 

"Say hi, something about her, ask if she likes a band... What about the one girl that Jack likes?" 

Claire shrugged, "Act like a dweeb, and don't worry, you've got that part down, and have him call you out on it." 

"What if she likes me because I'm a dweeb?" 

"Oh, well, then you're both dweebs, and the dweeb mating call can be studied for science." 

Ben rolled his eyes, "Just start the movie." 

* * *


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Um... so, this happened... You didn't really think the jewelry store was going to be _the_ proposal scene, did you? Heck no.
> 
> Sorry this took a while, life's been fun lately, and mostly I've been coming up with bits and pieces that happen later on.
> 
> Thanks for reading! FW)

* * *

Dean studied every angle of worry on Cas' face as he caught Dean’s hand and pulled him into the more formal sitting room to the left of the front door. 

"I never use this room. I could move my office down here, or throw in a couple of walls and turn it into a bedroom." Cas said quietly, "But I'm going to try to convince Claire not to move out yet." 

Dean nodded, "Okay, yeah. If, um.. if that's what you want to do. Sounds good." 

"If she does, I can't... she's still a teenager, and what she went through-" 

"She needs her room? Or, you need her to have her room?" Dean asked. 

Cas looked away, distracted, "Does Ben hate me?" 

"What? Where did that come from?" Dean asked, "He's just at an age where he's scared shitless, and trying to grow up way too fast. You know he asked me about bar mitzvahs the other day?" 

Cas didn't appear to follow Dean's line of thought. 

"Cas, it's not you, he's just having a hard time. It's not Claire, either, he's gotta mature, and it's confusing for him. He was getting some bad advice from a friend. I told you about that." 

"No, she told me he came over and apologized to her." 

"He didn't tell me that." Dean answered, "Are they good now?" 

Cas shrugged, "I have no idea. And I need it to be more obvious. And..." 

"Two wheels... I guess the other two are Ben and Claire?" Dean asked. 

"Dean, I'm having trouble explaining all of this, but yes. I need space for both of them, this is a major change, and, I can't do this all at once. No matter what happens between us, we can't make this work without making this work as a family." 

"So you're panicking over nothing." 

"This is hardly nothing!" Cas answered, "I don't know where to start, I barely managed with Claire, and Ben-" 

"You've had time to get to know him, and he knows you. You were accepting of him, you've listened when he's had problems, things he's worried about, that hasn't changed." Dean answered, "And Claire, well, she was planning that for this summer, I don't think either of us saw that one coming, but nobody's pushing her out." 

Cas looked discouraged as he tried to piece his words together, but Dean cut him off. 

"Are you having second thoughts?" 

"Not about you and me." 

Stillness hung in the air as Dean turned slightly, anxious, "So, what, it's because of the kids?" 

Cas turned away from him, looking around the room at all the large, heavy items that would have to go elsewhere. 

"Are you having second thoughts?" Dean asked again, frustrated with his silence, "Look, if you changed your mind, and you don't want to marry me, just say so, but don't blame it on the kids!" 

"I love you, Dean, honestly and deeply, but I have my doubts that either one of us is prepared for how it's going to affect our children." 

"They're fine!" Dean growled. 

"They aren't." Cas answered firmly, "They're both traumatized by things that have happened to them before we met, things we failed to prevent, and they are each a mess in their own way. And we are talking about putting them in the same house, and no one can predict what comes next." 

Dean shifted where he stood, "What do you want to do?" 

Cas shook his head in confusion, which seemed to anger Dean further. 

"You want me to go upstairs and pull everything out of your office and bring it down here? I'll do it. You run back over to Bobby's and get the kids, we'll have Ben moved in here tonight. There you go, everybody in one house, and then what? What comes after that?... I don't know if this is about the kids, or if it's just you. Because I'm not worried." 

"Is Ben worried?... Have you even asked him?" Cas asked harshly, "Or are you just used to handing out orders? He's not one of your employees, you need to take his feelings into consideration and talk to him." 

"I do talk to him!" 

"But do you listen? How bad did it have to get in his head for him to slap Claire in the face? Or were you too busy sneaking over here and leaving him to fend for himself?" 

"I am not abandoning my kid, Cas, he's twelve, not two! At the same age I was taking care of Sam full time, so don't even start with me there!" Dean replied, "So now what? Now that I'm a negligent father, what else do you want to throw my way?" 

"You're not a negligent father-" 

"Sounds like it, coming from you. Just admit it, you're scared!" 

Cas nodded, as habit brought him out of the room and toward the kitchen, "I am. I'm scared for the kids... And if they aren't scared of these changes themselves, they're even more broken than we thought, and I'm very concerned that you don't seem to see it!" 

Dean followed after him, "Don't you walk away from me, Cas. Not after you brought all of this out! And you better leave the tequila where it's at until we're done here." 

"At this point, it might help me handle your complete denial of the situation we're in, but no, that's not what I'm doing." Cas looked around the empty kitchen, his voice softening, "And now I've forgotten why I came in here." 

Dean pointed to the table, "Right there." 

"What?" Cas asked. 

"You used to keep a stack of junk mail right there, in front of that chair on the end. You don't, not anymore. Why?" 

Cas gave a confused gesture, unsure of Dean's point, then it dawned on him, "Ben sits there." 

Dean stepped closer to him, "Claire keeps a charger for her phone in a kitchen drawer over there... It's been two years of small changes like that, Cas. Maybe we should talk to them a little more, but we are not going into this blind, and I don't want to hear that from you again." 

Cas still felt angry, but a habit he didn't care to fight led his arm around the back of Dean's waist, "Don't ask me not to voice my concerns." 

"I'm not. I'm saying don't look for trouble where there isn't any." Dean replied. Looking into Cas' eyes, something in his anger gave way, and he kissed Cas hungrily. 

Cas brought his hand up to the back of Dean's neck, responding in kind, pulling him in close, and catching Dean's tongue with his lips briefly before pulling back, "I want you both moved in this weekend." 

Dean nodded, his voice darkened with need, "I'll start moving furniture tomorrow." 

"You'll be too sore to move anything tomorrow." 

Dean smirked, digging into his pocket, "Flip you for it?... Haven't watched you fall apart in a while, could be a long time before the house is this empty again." 

Dean pulled a quarter from his pocket which Cas immediately knocked out of his hand, then grabbed Dean roughly, "If you want to fuck me, you're going to have to flip a lot more than a coin. Now get upstairs, the furniture down here is a lot less sturdy." 

Dean shot a quick glance at where the quarter had landed on the floor, then met Cas' impassioned eyes again, "Is that right?... Because we don't really need two kitchen tables." 

"Upstairs." Cas reiterated firmly. 

"So you can jump me from behind? No, I want a fair chance." 

"Starts when the door is closed." 

Dean nodded in agreement, and started up the stairs. His first instinct was to move quickly, hurrying to his destination, but he quickly realized he had an advantage Cas may not have considered. 

He paused on the stairs and looked over his shoulder, trying not to let Cas' eyes distract him the way he hoped his jeans were doing for Cas. Difficult, but not impossible. 

"Do we need some ground rules?" 

"I don't think we do." 

Yes... Cas had been staring. "How many cigarettes you got left?" 

"Why?" 

Dean smirked, and continued at a measured pace, "Thinking about how you might need more than one. I mean, _if_ I let you up for it in the first place." 

Once inside the room, Dean quickly moved away from the door as Cas roughly swung it shut. 

"Okay," Dean said, "I don't want any weird carpet burn in interesting places this time, let's keep it on the bed." 

Cas nodded, "The box is off limits, it's raw muscle or nothing." 

"Not even..?" 

"No." 

"Damn." 

Cas stepped to the side table and pulled out a bottle as Dean dragged the duvet from the bed. 

Dean sat down to quickly unlace his boots, but Cas kicked his shoes off first, caught Dean’s shoulders, and dragged backward, pinning him down, landing him upside down below him, "I want premarital counseling." 

"We don't need it." Dean replied, grabbing Cas' inner elbows and pressing outward to break his hold, "We know what we're doing." 

Cas shifted to the side, dropping his chest against Dean's, pinning one of Dean's arms with his knee, fighting his other hand for access to Dean's belt, "The very fact that we disagree means we do." 

Dean wriggled his arm free, pulling Cas over him as he rolled, struggling to keep them both on the bed, digging one knee into the mattress and hooking one elbow under Cas' knee to drag him further toward the center, suddenly feeling a very distracting hand stroke him outside of his jeans, making him gasp, "If I can't argue against it, it's not a fair argument." 

"Maybe your side is just a bad argument to begin with." Cas choked out as Dean nuzzled into the collar of Cas' shirt, finding Cas' collarbone with his teeth. 

As Dean was busy pinning him and supporting his own weight, Cas skipped his belt, and slipped Dean's zipper down, finding the opening to his boxers. His fingers quickly found and traced the underside of Dean’s hardened erection, making him shudder. 

"Ohhh, so you're giving up?" Dean asked. 

"Not hardly," Cas replied, "Just giving you a moment to think of a reasonable argument." 

Cas adjusted his legs and wrapped them around Dean's waist, giving a sharp twist, coming up sitting on Dean's lap, soon stripping the shirt from Dean's body. 

Dean grabbed Cas' thighs where they rested over his hips, squeezing hard, "Right where I want these." 

Cas pushed him over on his back, keeping a heavy pressure on the front of Dean’s shoulders as he tried to pull a leg away to get it between Dean's. Dean, however, clung tightly. 

"Nobody likes a forfeit." Dean said quietly, refusing to let go, "What else you got?" 

With a more determined look, Cas leaned in, claiming his mouth, but kissing him softly, sucking at his lower lip as his hands moved slowly down the sides of Dean's face, neck, and chest with delicate strokes he knew made Dean melt. By the time Dean came out of it for air, Cas had already gotten his jeans open, and was awkwardly tugging them down Dean’s hips. 

Dean slid his heavy grasp on Cas' thighs up to his waist, grabbing his belt with one hand and pulling his shirt free. He reached below it, snaking as much length of his arm as he could manage up the inside as Cas started to shake his head in warning. 

"Dean,-" 

"Baby, you love it." 

"I swear-" 

"C'mon." 

"Dean, I will make you put them back-" 

"Yeah?" Dean asked with a grin. 

"Don't-" 

Dean set his jaw and jerked his arm outward, sending Cas' buttons flying. 

"Dean..." 

Dean grabbed the sides of the now open shirt and pulled him back down, rolling Cas onto his back, taking his mouth straight to Cas' neck and grinding hard against him with a quiet growl. 

Cas moaned deeply as his hands went for Dean's hair, "You're finding each one." 

"Yeah, I will. Needle and thread, promise." Dean replied, slipping lower. 

"You never found the last three for my blue shirt." Cas breathily complained. 

"Snaps." Dean managed to mutter between mouthing Cas' flesh. 

"I will not wear shirts with snaps. I don't participate at rodeos." Cas groaned. 

"You should, you can sure ride my ass for more than eight seconds." Dean replied, stopping at Cas' navel to hurriedly open his slacks, jerking Cas' body with each motion. 

Cas was starting to sit up, which Dean found irritating, and quickly yanked his legs to get him back below him, and slowly started to sink into him, finding entirely by accident that he'd slipped loose from the jeans and boxers that now sat low on his hips, and swollen and hard, he'd found a gap in the fabric that still restrained Cas, as his tip passed wiry curls, and settled against the warm skin of Cas' thigh. 

He kissed Cas deeply as he struggled out of his jeans, but lost his leg placement as Cas shed what was left of his own clothing. 

With a sudden buck of Cas' hips, he found himself straddling Cas' waist, and Cas' lubed fingers probing him. 

"I don't know how you did that, but does it really count if I'm still on top?" Dean asked smugly. 

Cas gave a quick, one-handed attempt to get above Dean once again, to no avail. 

Dean reached back finding Cas with his hand, already hard, slick, and ready, and carefully took some of the extra off on his hand while Cas was busy enjoying the feel of Dean's touch. 

Dean pulled Cas' hand away and lined him up, sinking down around him slowly, carefully avoiding his own pleasures to keep himself on track. He slipped his hand between Cas' legs and soon worked his fingers inside, hitting something that sent a jolt up Cas' spine. 

"Guess it doesn't count." Dean said as he slipped off of Cas, keeping a careful pressure and a tiny motion with his hand as Cas' head rocked back. 

"Keep going." Cas breathed. 

"Where'd you hide it?" Dean asked, reaching below the small of Cas' back. 

It hadn't been the first time they'd done this, nor had it been the first time Cas had bent their unspoken rules to get an advantage. 

Dean pulled the bottle from under Cas' back, even more turned on than before as Cas was turning to a putty like state at his continuing touch, and quickly readied himself before falling forward to kiss Cas again. 

Cas grasped his firm shoulders, rocking his hips slightly, returning his kiss, a signal Dean knew well, but he wasn't done yet. 

"Cas... that wasn't how it was supposed to go..." 

"What wasn't?" he asked, his haze still thick. 

"I was still deciding how to ask you." 

"Dean, please, it's not important now." 

"It's very important, Cas." 

"Right now, though?" 

"Name a better time." Dean replied firmly, "I'm serious. Tell me right now, a better time to do this, and I'll get right back to what you really want." 

"Waiting in line at the God forsaken DMV, Dean!" Cas snapped, startling them both. 

They stared into each other's eyes for a moment as they both found themselves at the edge of reason, passion, and lust. 

Dean shifted his hand, making Cas give a gasp that ended in a whimper. 

"I'm sorry." Cas said, "I know this is important to you, but why does it have to be now?" 

Dean looked just to the left of Cas' face, "Look under your pillow." 

Cas only tilted his head, not certain he'd heard Dean correctly. Dean reached up with his free hand, shifting against Cas, and making him groan. 

Cas turned to look as Dean reached under the pillow and withdrew a ring. 

"I asked if it was a mutual yes, I didn't actually ask the question." 

Cas wrapped his arms and legs around Dean and rolled closer to the side, putting their weight on the edge of the bed, and making Dean's preoccupied hand slip free as he reached for the drawer he'd pulled the lube from, quickly opening the ring box hidden inside, discarding the box, and reaching for Dean's left hand, "Dean," 

"Cas.. C'mon, let me go first." Dean said quietly. 

Cas grinned, "You go first when you bottom, Dean. You didn't want that this time." 

Cas was about to say more when a quiet creak slowly built into a loud one, and the snap of wood left them on the floor. 

Dean looked up from Cas' shoulder, "Are you okay?" 

Cas glanced at the splintered edges of wood below the now sagging mattress, "That was bound to happen eventually..." 

Dean picked up one of the stray buttons from the carpet with a grin that reminded Cas what he was still desperate for. 

"I don't need the actual words, do you?" 

After a second to consider it, Dean shook his head, and Cas held up the ring he'd somehow managed to hold onto despite the interruption, and waited as Dean located the other, each taking a moment to put them on. 

"So... We, um... we broke the the bed..." Dean mused. 

Cas started to get up, but Dean held him in place. 

"Two seconds, I can fix this. Don't move." Dean said, waiting for Cas to agree before getting up. 

"How can you fix a bed in two seconds?" Cas asked. 

Dean got up onto his knees, just enough to pull the top sheet free from the mattress, which had the added effect of bringing the bottle of lube with it. 

The sheet fell over them both as Dean came back down, grabbing the bottle, and rolling onto his back, pulling Cas over him again, "Not the bed, just the rug burn." 

He'd soon added another coat to himself, and took Cas' hips, easing him back. 

Once past Dean's tip, Cas tried to thrust backward, but Dean's hands held him in place. 

"Dean, please!" Cas moaned. 

Dean raised his hips, sliding further into him as Cas breathed roughly, his arms going boneless and crumpling onto Dean's chest in a shivering mess. 

Dean ran his hands up Cas' body with a delicate touch, "Shhh... I've got you..." 

Cas took a firm grip of Dean's shoulders and began to move against Dean's body with a slight whimper each time he did. 

Dean curled around him and rolled them both over, giving a sharp thrust, making Cas cry out and sink his nails into Dean's skin. 

Somewhere between a growl and a groan, Dean whispered gently in Cas' ear, "You are one beautiful son of a bitch." 

Cas grabbed a handful of Dean's hair and kissed him roughly, pressing his legs down on Dean's ass to push him in further as he bit down on Dean’s lower lip, panting while Dean began to pick up speed. 

"Harder!" Cas gasped. 

Dean slammed into him deeply, "Like this?... Every night.. rest of our lives together... You and me..." 

Cas mumbled something incoherent as his head tilted back, and Dean took the opportunity to press firm kisses to the front of his throat, feeling the short stubble pricking at his lips. 

Dean occasionally had to adjust his knees from slipping on the sheet, but the few times he fell against Cas harder than he meant to, it seemed to work in both their favors. 

"Dean!..." he recognized Cas' rambling, the quiet whispers that seemed to be shaken from his lips, always a sure sign he was at that weak point he'd rarely ever trusted anyone to take him to, "...love you, Dean... I just... ohhh, more... can't..." 

Cas' hands searched his back and upper arms as Cas came closer to losing all control. 

"'Can't' what, sweetheart?" Dean asked softly. 

Cas pulled Dean into a rough kiss as fire swept through every drop of his blood, shaking hard, moaning against Dean's lips as his body was wracked with pleasure. He dropped his head back, gasping for air as it continued, reaching for Dean's hips through another deep groan, urging him to keep going. 

It was as much the sight of Cas' intense release as it was physical sensation that sent Dean over the edge, thrusting in deeply, as far as he could manage, filling Cas as he spilled over. 

Gasping, but mostly still, he shifted his weight to one arm, reaching up to turn Cas' face to look at him, "'Can't' what?" 

Cas pressed a shaky kiss to the inside of Dean's wrist, and stammered, still reeling, "...live without you." 

Dean shook his head, "You don't have to." 

He pressed a kiss to Cas' chest as he waited, knowing at this point Cas would be too sore to comfortably release him until he went soft. 

Cas stroked his fingers through Dean's hair, comfortable with his head resting on his chest as they both drifted to a more stable reality. 

Dean raised his head and took hold of Cas' knee where it had fallen to the side and raised it to avoid causing him any discomfort as he pulled back, then rolled off to the sheet immediately against Cas' side, keeping a heavy arm across his chest as Cas started to get up. 

"C'mon, not this time." Dean whispered, "I can keep you feeling good for a while without it." 

Cas seemed to try to come up with a reason to argue. 

"Compromise?" Cas asked. 

"Hit me." 

"The counseling for the cigarettes. I know you hate it, and... I know it's because of the one risk you won't bring up." 

"Permanently?" Dean asked. 

Cas nodded. 

"Yeah... Okay..." Dean replied, taking a corner of the sheet to Cas' stomach. 

Cas was still a wreck as Dean got him to roll onto his stomach, and started a slow, light massage on Cas' back. 

"So... what kind of compromise would it take to get you into a shirt with snaps?" Dean asked with a smirk. 

* * *


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: WARNING! Brief mention of past suicidal thoughts.
> 
> Mental health is super important, folks! Take care of yourself!
> 
> All that being said... Here we go. There's gonna be some tough, and mildly triggery stuff in the next two chapters, so please watch the warnings.
> 
> Thanks for reading! I love watching people get into this story. FW)

* * *

Claire came downstairs to set down her bag, checking out the front window once more in case Alfie arrived early. She was about to go back up to her room when Cas came out of the kitchen. 

"I didn't know you were awake yet." Claire said quietly. 

Cas nodded, "I wanted to talk to you before you leave." 

"Cities are big and scary, traffic is bad, and you got me a taser to play with? Oh, and don't tase Alfie when he's driving." 

Cas shook his head, "One more year." 

"Until what?" 

"I'm asking you to keep living at home for one more year. There are four people involved here, not just me and Dean, and of course if you were, say, twenty-five and living on your own, I wouldn't ask you to disrupt your life and move back in, but you're not exactly set to leave just yet anyway." 

"Dad..." 

"And if your medication isn't helping, you probably need to have it adjusted again. Also better done here, where everything is familiar in case you go sleep walking again. So, even if you do decide to move over Christmas break, you'll probably want to handle the medication first." 

"I thought we already went over this." 

"I've asked Dean to move in this weekend. There won't be any reason for anyone to be in your room, so don't worry about that, but my office is coming downstairs," Cas gestured toward the room behind her, "And Ben will be across the hall from you... I appreciate the suggestions you made, and that you haven't complained at all, but although you need to make decisions for yourself, until I sign it over or die, it's still my house... I want my whole family together, even if it's only for two or three months." 

Claire nodded, considering what he'd said, turning around to look into the sitting room they never made use of, before looking at her father again, "So, basically you're gonna do this your way, no matter what I'm doing." 

Cas nodded, "You need to be more concerned about your sleep, and school, so you may be right about dropping work for a while... But you'll tell me if you need anything?" 

"Yeah." Claire replied, "Okay, I'll think about it... And I'll see about the meds next week." 

Cas nodded again, and looked at her bag sitting on a chair, "On second thought, maybe I should have gotten you a taser." 

"Nah, I just swiped a handgun from Dean. Normally I only borrow it for show during drug deals, but this time I took ammo, too." 

Cas didn't immediately respond, making her smirk. He shook his head, "I hope you know how to use it." 

"What? The gun or the drugs?" 

Cas looked down into his mug and headed back toward the kitchen, muttering, "...not enough coffee for this." 

Claire chuckled as she heard a car pull up, and stepped out onto the porch. Alfie had arrived in a small silver sedan, and was headed toward her. 

"What the hell is that?" Claire asked. 

Alfie looked over his shoulder, "Um... a piece of crap. But it's new, and the gas milage isn't horrible. Better safety features and stuff." 

"Yeah, but a Kia? Just a rental, right?" 

Alfie started laughing almost immediately, "No. You have to be twenty-five to rent a car at the place in town, so I picked up this one at the dealership." 

"You bought that?" 

"Yeah, well, Margaret's gonna need something to drive, the Monte Carlo is starting to get where there's no point in fixing it. So, when we get back, she'll have something that'll work with a car seat, or whatever." 

"It's still a piece of crap." 

Alfie shrugged, "I said I was going to get her a Lexus for her baby shower, and she yelled at me, okay? But that's basically my nephew, so... Yeah." 

"Have you seen how she drives?" Claire asked with narrowed eyes. 

"I've... heard some things. But Kevin has school, so does she, and then there's work, and I guess babies have to see a doctor like every week or something. Do you have a better idea?" 

"Um, domestic, at least?" Claire suggested, not realizing Cas had stepped outside behind her. 

"The company may be based in Seoul, but they're manufactured in Georgia... The state, not the country." Cas said quietly, earning him a confused look from Claire, "Yes, I can know a few things about cars without being a mechanic." 

Defeated, Claire turned toward the door, "I'll get my stuff." 

Cas gave Alfie a loaded look and took a deep breath, clearly choosing his words as he lifted an authoritative finger, but Alfie raised his palms in mock surrender. Cas nodded, and turned back around as Claire returned, accepting a quick hug from Cas, "Have a good time. And be careful." 

"Of course." she replied, quickly making her way to the car. 

* * *

Dean looked through the top layer of toys in one of the boxes Ben had brought down, and heard him coming down the stairs with an arm load of clothes still on the hangers. 

"I thought I mentioned using this place for storage? You didn't have to bring this stuff down." 

"Toy cars and stuff, dad. That can get donated, then we don't have to worry about it later." 

Dean nodded, and gestured to a second box, "That one, too?" 

"No, that's video games." 

Dean took a closer look. The wooden train Lisa had painted Ben's name on sat in the top of the box, and below it was indeed video games and a few comic books, "Yeah, okay. I guess you'll want that." 

Ben layed the clothes over the top of the box and headed back upstairs. 

"Remember, we have plenty of time to handle the small stuff. Not everything has to be ready to go right away." Dean called. 

"Yeah, I know. But Cas is still gonna need help getting everything out of that room before anything goes over there, so, if I get stuff ready now, then it's already done." 

"Yeah, okay... Right. I'm gonna go help him move stuff, so whenever you get done, head over. I'm not sure how much stuff he has in that closet." 

* * *

Dean let himself in, and was headed up the stairs, about to pass Claire's door, "Hey, Cas? You awake yet?" 

A loud thump and hissed swearing answered him from the office, and he ducked inside, only to have his heart skip a beat. Cas needed more occasions to wear jeans, that was for sure. 

"Sorry, did I startle you?" Dean asked. 

Cas kept his sore finger in his mouth and gestured to the heavy desk that had several of the drawers removed and set aside. The one that remained was open wide, and he'd clearly been looking for the latch on the bottom. 

"Right..." 

Cas nodded toward the closet, "The shelves are empty, but they'll need to come out, otherwise Ben won't have much space for clothes." 

Dean stepped into the small space and looked around, "I don't know, he doesn't have that much, not once you consider how much he keeps in his dresser. He might be able to use the space better if we leave the ones on this side, and take out the ones over here..." 

"Those are bolted to the wall," Cas said quietly. 

With a shrug, Dean turned around and reached into the top of what was a low, heavy bookcase, and gave a rough heave backward, stopping abruptly at the sound of a shuffling of paper, and looked over the back. 

Cas heard it as well, and took the end of the bookcase, pulling it into the room as Dean ducked to pick up the shuffled paper. 

"Custody papers... and a restraining order." Dean said with a hint of amusement, passing them to Cas, "Looks like I took a beating over nothing." 

Cas chuckled and shook his head, "That wasn't 'nothing.' I mean, it could have been handled better, but..." 

"She's a smart kid. I knew she was right the minute she got thrown over the back of that car." Dean replied, as Cas settled the papers into one of the drawers on the floor, next to a box of picture frames taken down from the wall. 

Dean was already pulling the bookcase out into the hallway, and Cas took the other end of it as they headed for the stairs. 

"You, know, technically speaking, this means you're moving into the same home as someone who's been arrested for assaulting you." Cas commented. 

Dean gave a small shrug, "Best kind of Stockholm syndrome. But I'm pretty sure she's not going to do that again." 

After settling the bookcase into the old sitting room against a bare wall, Cas looked at the two less than comfortable couches, and a fairly large ornate cabinet, "At least one of the couches has to go. I'm not sure about that monstrosity." 

"What's in it?" 

Cas shrugged, "China, I'd assume. Maybe a few bottles of something in the bottom, I'm not sure I've ever opened it." 

Dean pulled the doors open out of curiosity. The top was full of carefully arranged China, outdated, and a common pattern, and the bottom held an assortment of old video cassettes. 

"Lauri's Christmas party, Maui '96, this one just says football,-" 

"It's soccer." Cas interjected. 

"And this one has Claire's name on it." Dean said, pulling out the single tape. 

"Keep that one, the rest are garbage." 

"What kind of garbage? I wouldn't mind seeing a much younger version of you in a swimsuit." 

Cas gave him a stern look and raised an eyebrow. 

"I don't wanna see what's on those tapes, do I?" Dean asked, gaining no response. He nodded, "Okay, yeah, I'll take your word on it." 

"I don't know if I even still have a VCR... I thought I'd lost this." Cas said quietly. 

"Baby stuff, huh?" 

Cas nodded rather grimly, "Yes, well, I'll have it put on a DVD, Claire might want it someday." 

Dean found Cas' response somewhat vague and disconcerting, but he let it go, and closed the cabinet. 

* * *

"Really?... You just forgave her? Just like that?" Alfie asked. 

"Yeah... and then she asked me for your number." 

"You didn't...?" 

"What? Give it to her, or punch her?" 

"Uh..." 

"No, neither. I said I wasn't sure you'd want to talk to her, so she gave me her number to give to you. So, I dunno, I was going to throw it out, but then I was busy. I only found it yesterday when I was doing laundry." 

"You think it's for real?" 

Claire shrugged, "I don't really care. She's always going to stay a worthless bitch in my mind, but if she's trying to do better I can at least pretend to give a shit. On the off chance that she's telling the truth, y'know. For her kid. Give her some kind of encouragement." 

"You're pretending to care?" 

"Why not? She thinks she's been forgiven, and I know that people basically don't change, so, no risk to me, and if she actually did change, or if she's trying to, then she'll keep at it." 

"So you fake-forgave her." 

"I don't even know. I'm not mad anymore, not since that thing with her mom, so maybe it's real?" Claire stared out the window for a bit, "Are you gonna call her?" 

Alfie shrugged, "I'm thinking about it. I mean, if you can show some fake support and fake forgive her to encourage her to be a better person, I can at least let her try to apologize." 

"Hey, that's entirely your decision. I just know if it was me and some asshole wanted me to call them so they could be like, 'sorry I went and grabbed your junk, sexually assaulting you was totally not cool of me,' I'd probably just be looking for a way to get them alone in a dark alley." 

"Yeah, but you're you. It's different." 

"How's it different?" 

"Well... um... Okay, what if that was all it was? You know, instead of what actually happened, what you went through, what if, junior year, some sophomore copped a feel, outside your jeans?... Not the nightmares where you wake up crying, I mean like, that never happened. And what if they wanted to apologize for it?" 

Claire was silent for a few minutes as she thought it over, "I can't even imagine what my life would be like if it never happened. It was such a long time ago." 

"I can." 

"How? You didn't even know me, then." 

Alfie nodded, "I had to figure it out." 

"Okay, tell me what you figured out. And why the hell would you figure it out, anyway?" 

"Three wishes, right?" 

"Oh, god. Kevin was involved. Wasn't he?" 

"Hey, you're the one who told him, since you didn't want to do that, um, that therapy thing with me." 

"Yeah, okay, tell me." 

"Okay, first wish, right?... That never happened. Second wish, your dad got custody anyway. Third, that I grew a pair and put Will's face into the wall when he had it coming." 

"Wait, what?" 

"What?" 

"What was that about Will?" 

"Um... I was there... I really hope that was the worst thing he ever said, because I can't think of anything worse." 

Alfie could feel Claire's eyes on him, and assumed she was gawking at his bluntness, but with a quick glance stolen from the road, he found only a sad and somewhat surprised look on her face. 

"You know how incredibly violent that would have looked, right? Just beating him up over something he said to a girl who didn't know you existed?" 

"Yeah, but I wouldn't have had a chance with you, anyway." 

This time she was gawking. 

"C'mon, Claire, if you weren't a total mess in the first place, you wouldn't want anything to do with me." 

"Do you... Do you really have such a low opinion of yourself?" Claire snapped, "Jeez, this is almost as bad as when you had that dream I was cheating on you, and when you woke up, you said if I did, to just to make sure it was with someone who wouldn't hurt me." 

Alfie was quiet for a considerable time, until Claire turned on the radio. She was busy scanning for a station, and the volume was suddenly decreasing. 

Claire turned the volume knob up higher and continued to scan, only to watch the display decrease the volume again. 

"What the hell is..?" Claire looked up as Alfie started to laugh, taking his thumb off the steering wheel control. 

"Sorry." he chuckled. 

"Cute." 

"I said I was sorry." Alfie replied, "You want to drive for a while?" 

"No. It's a Kia. I can't cheat on my car like that." 

"Right." Alfie replied with a shy smile. 

* * *

Margaret was laying on the couch, cross-legged against the back, facing the television, upside-down to her, and game controller in her hands, busily pressing the buttons. 

Kevin sat on the floor, further away, his back against the front of the couch. He was idly flipping through a catalog of baby gear. 

"I miss you." Margaret said softly, her tone was depressed. 

"I've been here ruining steaks for the last five hours because you want them practically raw. You even yelled at me twenty minutes ago. So how can you miss me?" 

"You know what I mean." Margaret replied, pausing her game, and turning to look at him. 

He afforded her a quick glance, but knowing how easily he'd cave to any look she gave him, he turned back to the catalog, "Yeah, I do. That must really suck." 

"I want you back." 

"Yeah, you mentioned that." 

"Why won't you talk to me?" 

"Four month waiting period. Your rules, not mine." Kevin replied, flipping a page. 

Margaret was quickly growing fed up, but her bladder wouldn't wait. She dropped the controller in his lap, and carefully rolled until she could easily get to her feet. 

"Hey, we still need to work out that name." 

"No we don't." Margaret answered, leaving the room. 

"So you're coming around?" Kevin called over his shoulder. 

A short time later, with a brief detour to the kitchen, she returned. "Mike... I don't really care what his last name is." 

"Mike?" Kevin asked, "Oh. Kim in reverse... Makes sense. Still sucks." 

"Fine, Michael Danes it is." 

"Hey, you just said you didn't care." Kevin said quickly. 

"Well, now I do, since you said it was stupid." 

"I didn't, I said it sucks." 

"No, Kevin Tran sucks. Dick, in fact. He told me so." 

"That was one time, and privileged information." 

"You're getting awful pushy about that last name." 

"Yeah, well, kids are supposed to get their last name from their dads." Kevin argued. 

"So feminism goes right out the window the minute you knocked me up, and you want to stick this baby with the label you got from your shitty father?" Margaret asked sharply. 

Kevin raised his voice, flustered, "I was hoping by the time we got to this point, the last name thing wouldn't be a question!" 

Margaret's seething looked dropped, leaving only a look of understanding and vindicated assumptions. 

Kevin took a few seconds to reassess his words, paired with the look on her face. 

"That's why? Right?... You said you were done, but you only completely fucking destroyed me to keep me from asking you when I found out... Right?" 

"I knew you would want to do the right thing, even if it was the wrong thing." Margaret said quietly, "And you would have talked me into it, too... And then you wouldn't have gone to any kind of school at all, you would have dropped it completely and gotten a job at the stupid vacuum factory, and never done anything with your life." 

Kevin swallowed hard, "That's fucking great.. You can't say no to me, so I lose everything?" 

"I'm not everything." 

"You were!" Kevin snapped, "Goddamn it, Margaret, I wanted to die... Almost did, too. Seriously thought about doing some really fucked up shit to make sure it happened. So every time you start this 'I want you back' crap, it's really just another slap to my face, okay? Drop it. You figured I was better off without you, and maybe you're right." 

Margaret was still gathering her words when Kevin cut her off, "I shouldn't have said any of that... I gotta go." 

Kevin shut the door loudly on his way out, and Margaret found herself standing in the large, empty house. 

"One of these days you're gonna finish this fucked up conversation!" she screamed. 

* * *

"So... that was, um, not the ending I expected." Ivan chuckled, as they made their way through the parking lot. 

"Yeah. I don't think I'm getting it when the DVD comes out." Julie replied, "But it was fun." 

Ivan shook his head, "It was a horrible movie. Did you notice when the one zombie's fake jaw fell off and he tried to pick it up?" 

"I saw that, yeah." she replied with a grin. 

"You'd think they would cut that part out, or something." 

"Yeah... So, I see you around all the time, but after you moved out of the Alford's house, there was a bunch of rumors that you moved back to... wherever. Where do you live, now?" 

"Uh, well... It's not as fancy as your house." 

"You mean my mom's house." Julie scoffed, "Don't worry, it might look nice, but the foyer is really the gates of hell." 

Ivan laughed softly, "I've seen places like that before. I think Alfie's used to be one, but that was long before me. No, I saved up, and bought a space that had been set up for this guy's in-laws that had an RV, but he got all the wrong stuff put in, it was set up for a mobile home, then I got a little two-bedroom, um, I think the place wanted to call it modular, but, whatever. It's really basic." 

"So, like a trailer? Like the neighborhood out at the end of seventh avenue?" Julie asked, "Because some of those are really nice." 

"You spend much time in that part of town?" Ivan asked, surprised. 

"I had a science project with this girl, we didn't get a choice in partners. I was a complete bitch to her the whole time, but, I was really just jealous because her parents were actually nice to her." Julie admitted, "That's a habit I'm trying to break." 

"Being jealous?" 

"Being a bitch... I mean, I'm sure you've heard stories. Before the town-tramp stories, I would've been the bitchy cheerleader, but I was too pudgy for the squad." 

Ivan shrugged, "Most of the rumors I heard were about me, and half of it was wrong, so I stopped listening." 

"Which parts were wrong?" Julie asked. 

"Uh, no good drop-out drug dealer, with prison tats, and gang affiliations." Ivan replied, "So, if you had listened to them, I would hope you wouldn't have let me chill out with your baby that time." 

"I hadn't heard that part, just that you got busted for smoking a joint in Tulsa. But that was a long time ago, right?" 

"Possession. Never used the stuff. There's even a drug test in the record that shows I wasn't using it. I was literally just holding it for somebody. That's why I keep my hair kind of long, in case I get picked up for something stupid and the sheriff wants a drug test, the hair strand kind of test would show years and years of nothing, because sometimes no matter what you do, you can't get away from the rumors." 

"Yeah, I know what you mean, but I basically earned my rumors. At least I'm sure you heard about, um... Why I got fired from Singer, right? I mean you lived with Samandriel for a long time." 

"You worked at Singer Auto?... Oh, that's right, Claire said that when she dragged you to the truck that time. What'd you do?.. Oh yeah, you were trying to steal her boyfriend or something." 

Julie gave him a confused look, "I thought everybody knew?" 

Ivan shook his head, "No... I mean, we all knew what was going on when Kip got fired, but I guess Dean shut it down whenever someone started to talk about it, like the same week... You're not mentioned around the shop." 

Julie seemed to need a moment to process what he'd said, and they both stopped as they reached the truck. 

"So, what are you doing next weekend?" Ivan asked. 

Julie was still gathering her thoughts, "Um, not much... But, I heard you only asked me out to mess with that old lady. So, I mean, it's been fun, but you don't have to..." 

"That's not the only reason. Just, she happened to be pissing me off, so I took out two birds with one stone." 

"Ivan, you're really nice to me, but, if this is just, like, some stupid kind of revenge thing, then, I don't want to be involved." 

Ivan nodded, "I get that... But it's not. Um, I didn't exactly grow up with a good idea of how to treat anyone. Like you. So, maybe you can get why it took me so long?" 

"Are you sure?" 

"What? Sure that I didn't ask you out just to piss off some old lady?" 

"Yeah." 

"Okay, listen, this is my secret, okay?...There's this really hot waitress I've been trying to ask out for months, and I was even willing to go see a cartoon movie with songs in it to get her to go out with me, okay? But this bitchy old lady has been cranky about this girl," by this point, Julie was giggling hard, and Ivan stepped closer, wrapping her in a hug, "Who is obviously just trying to get by with a real job, where she works really hard, and takes damn good care of her kid, and I just snapped. Just like that. So... There's a fall festival on the other side of town next weekend. And my band is one of the ones playing, and I would really like to meet up with you and Cyndi after our set, okay?" 

"Really?" she asked, as Ivan nodded in reply, "You're willing to be seen in public with the town slut and her bastard baby?" 

"Of course. Bastard babies are amazing people. You should go out with one... Oh, wait, you are. Well, I guess now you know. But, just so you know, the correct term is 'patrilogically challenged.'" 

Julie blinked, "Are you serious?" 

"No, I just made that up. But it still sounds better." 

"Okay. Yeah, if you don't mind hanging out with me, Cyndi, and the big pink stroller, then, sure. When do you go on?" 

"Two forty-five. But keep her outside the speakers, okay? It gets loud." 

Julie nodded, "I hope so. I'm not big on acoustic folk bands." 

* * *


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Ah, domesticness... Also, Claire doesn't have the best time in Houston, could be slightly triggery for some. Got a little hero!Alfie, but there's going to be more on this later, and by later, I mean not next chapter, but a couple of chapters out.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Hoping to have this story done before GISHWHES, if not, there will be a break during the hunt.
> 
> Love you all, thanks for reading, and your reviews, well, they encourage me to keep writing, actually. Lol. FW)

* * *

"Is he going to take all those pictures down?" Ben fussed, tipping the twin sized frame on its side as Dean started wrangling the plywood sheet that held the mattress into a position to get down the stairs. 

"Yeah, he already did." 

"What if Nick doesn't like it?" 

"She's your dog, she wants to be where you are. Just keep your door shut with her in your room the first couple of nights, she'll get the idea that's where she's supposed to be." 

"What if she gets out and comes back over here?" 

Dean set the plywood down, "Ben, people move with dogs all the time. If she runs off, she's just going to come back over here, and we come get her and take her back over there. It's not a big deal." 

"What if Nick doesn't like it over there?" 

The question hung in the air as it became painfully apparent that it had nothing to do with the dog. 

Dean nodded, "Okay... Look, it's going to take some getting used to. For everybody, not just Nick. But it seems to me like all four of us have been pretty close, five if you want to count Nick, and this just means we can all have one big home together, okay? We adjust the rules a little, on both sides, we work it out. Nobody wants anyone else in this to be uncomfortable. Not even Nick." 

"Cas' fence doesn't close." Ben said quietly, "What is she gonna do all day?" 

"She'll come over here in the morning with me, and she can walk back over with you when you get off the bus. She knows her way around, we've been taking her over there for so long, she's barely gonna notice." Dean answered, "The first week is gonna be weird, okay? And the second week might be a little rough, but by the third week, everything should be pretty much settled... It's gonna make Thanksgiving a lot easier, though." 

"And Uncle Sam and Aunt Jess are still coming, right?" 

"Yeah, well, they might even stay later if this house is available to crash in. So, that'll be good, right?" 

"I guess." Ben replied, "But Friday, I still get to have Xander and Jack over, right?" 

"Yeah, well, you gotta have time for friends." 

"Can I add one more person?" 

"Do I know their parents?" 

"It's Trey Davenport." 

Dean made a face. 

"Dad..." Ben whined. 

"Sorry, that kid just gets on my nerves." 

"You let Jack stay over for a whole weekend, and he's the one that broke my arm, Trey didn't even kick me, you just thought he did!" 

Dean rolled his eyes, "I'll call his parents in a couple of days." 

"Awesome. He has the same kind of laser tag set, so we can play teams or free-for-all." 

"Yeah, 'awesome.'" Dean attempted to hide his sarcasm as he headed down the stairs. 

* * *

"How high up do you think we are?" Claire asked, looking out the window. 

"Hm... fifteenth floor, probably a hundred and forty, hundred and fifty feet up." 

"No way." Claire muttered. 

"It's true. Not accounting for the lobby, figure just over three meters per floor, times fifteen floo-" Alfie looked up to find her watching him closely, and suddenly lost all interest in math and patterns, "Um... I know it's not much to see right now, but there's going to be so many lights later... That skirt is new, isn't it?" 

"Yeah." Claire replied, "Not too short for this, is it?" 

Alfie shook his head, "No. It... uh, goes with the.. um, the rest of it. Looks good." 

Claire hid her amusement perfectly, "Not trashy?" 

Alfie stammered and shrugged, attempting, and failing, to tear his eyes away, "I have no idea, but if it is, then trashy looks good." 

Claire started laughing, "Maybe I should wear jeans, you need to stay focused." 

"I don't, though. The stuff I make speaks for itself, and Naomi said next up is Chicago and San Francisco, so, if, um..." she had moved to adjust his collar, which gave him a glance straight down her blouse, "You know a lot of these places, people think I'm gay for some reason." 

"And I'm gonna ruin that?" 

"Uh... I don't see how you couldn't." 

"So maybe it'll add to your story, get people talking." 

"Publicity for coming out as straight?" 

Claire shook her head, "It's nobody's business, but the less you say, the more they'll want to know. Right?" 

"Maybe I should have you handling things instead of Naomi." 

"No, I'm just here to have fun. And maybe be supportive." 

* * *

Ben looked around the room. It was smaller than the one in Bobby's house, but Dean had set up his small television and a game system inside the closet with the promise of beanbag chairs to come. He'd brought a mounted trophy bass he'd found in Bobby's garage at some point, and had kept because he liked it, although that did seem to confuse Cas that he wanted it in his room. 

He felt fairly satisfied with his decision to pare down his outgrown toys, and Nick had already gotten used to where the foot of his bed now stood. 

Ben looked out the large window into the trees that edged the back yard, as he heard footsteps behind him. 

"You left this one downstairs," Cas said quietly, "Looks like it's mostly video games." 

Ben turned around and took the box to his closet, "You don't have a back fence, do you?" 

"There's a fence. It's not in good shape, but since this part of the ranch, back here," Cas paused to gesture out the window, "Isn't used much, I don't really bother with it." 

"How far into the trees does it go?" 

"Well, last I went out there, all of the trees were this side of the fence line." 

"So, it's a really big yard, and you only use this little part of it?" 

"It's about seven acres, if you count the house and front yard." Cas replied. 

"How big is an acre?" 

"Well, seven is about the size of a football field. There was an ATV trail when I was younger, but it grew over. I had a tree house, too, but it didn't look too safe, so I took it down before Claire was born." 

"So, is it okay if I go out there?" 

"Of course. Just watch for snakes, the same as you do in the junkyard. And try not to disturb the wildlife, that's their habitat, not ours." Cas said quietly, "I think there may be a small cemetery in there somewhere, if you find any headstones, leave them where they are, and I'll let the county historical committee know." 

"Are you serious? You might have dead bodies buried in your back yard?" 

"A cemetery is generally where one puts those." 

Dean entered with a still-full dresser drawer, "Which spot was this one in?" 

Ben pointed, "Top drawer... Cas says there's dead bodies in the woods." 

Dean nodded, "Well, Claire had to get it from somewhere." 

* * *

Alfie kept off to one side, greeting the occasional person who recognized him, and answering a question here and there, mostly watching the room to see the reactions, and gauge the preferences of the crowd. 

He spotted Claire, coming up to him with a smirk, and passing him a glass, "They have an open bar on the balcony." 

"They didn't I.D. you?" 

Claire grinned, "Forgot it at the hotel in such a rush. Oops." 

"So you're gonna skip your meds and be awake at three again?" 

"I didn't come all the way out here to sleep." Claire replied, "So, are any of these folks the ones that saw the car picture?" 

"Uh... I don't think so." 

"Maybe you should put the phoenix on one of those screens, that would get a lot of attention." 

"I couldn't." Alfie whispered. 

Claire chuckled, "Okay... I'm gonna keep walking around, this is really cool, seeing how much everybody likes the stuff you make." 

Alfie watched her go, and his eyes followed her through the crowd. He was able to pick out a form that made him uneasy, appearing behind Claire occasionally, and generally staying just out of her sight, until she herself left his view. 

After a while, he spotted her, making her way back with another glass. He'd been speaking to a woman who looked a bit younger than most of the crowd, but still older than him, and had been acting a bit too familiar. 

The woman backed off and seemed to lose interest as his attention easily shifted to Claire. 

"Another one? Already?" 

"It's just water." 

"Oh." 

"She seemed friendly." Claire nodded in the woman's direction. 

Alfie wrinkled his nose, "Too friendly. Happens sometimes." 

"Yeah.. I think somebody's following me. Can't put my finger on who... How long does this run?" 

"Only about another hour or two." 

The shape appeared again as the man made the mistake of catching Alfie's eyes, and quickly started walking in another direction. He found the man's behavior odd, but not quite alarming. 

"I think I just scared him off." Alfie said quietly, as he watched the man slip out a side door in a hurry. 

"So, how bad would it be if we head out soon?" Claire asked, "Would it ruin the event?" 

Alfie shook his head, "No. Everything's going to stay up for a week anyway, and if I run out, makes me seem mysterious and in-demand." 

"I could make some demands." 

"You'd get them, too." Alfie responded with a nod. 

Claire chuckled, taking his nearly empty glass in her free hand, "Let me get rid of these, and I'll meet you at the door." 

Alfie couldn't help grinning as he made for the door, and waited. 

Claire soon joined him, with something of a grimace, and the man he'd noticed before was visible in a corner for a split second. 

"The water here sucks. You ready?" Claire asked. 

"Yeah, just... nevermind. Something just seems off." 

Claire shrugged, and headed out as he opened the door for her. 

* * *

Dean sat at an angle on the couch as Cas fussed with his desk, attempting to get the full drawers back inside of it. 

"Cas, you can't do this all night. C'mon, it's getting late." 

There was no mistaking the stifled perfectionist in Cas' irate glance. 

Dean chuckled as his phone began to ring, and he started for the back porch, expecting a call from his brother. 

But it wasn't Sam's number. 

"Hello?" 

"Dean, I'm freaking out a bit, here, and I need some advice." Alfie's voice carried an echo. 

"I'm not going to want to hear this, am I?" 

"Dean, she collapsed. Just, she was fine on the way back to the hotel, and when we got in the room, she was okay, then it was straight to the floor. I don't know, but I think someone put something in her drink." 

Dean rubbed his forehead, "Is she breathing okay? Is her heart beat normal?" 

"Yeah. She's awake, almost, kind of... I don't know, she's not talking much." 

"What was she drinking?" Dean asked. 

"I don't know, she had a drink that had alcohol, I know, and then there was another, she said it was water, but it was gross, so she didn't finish it." 

"Gross? What, like, chemicallish, or like salt?" 

"I don't know! She just said it was gross... Do I take her to the hospital? What do I do?" 

Dean could barely make out the sound of a quiet slur arguing with Alfie, "Did she skip her sleeping pill?" 

"Yeah." 

"Okay, well, as much as I hate to say it, she's probably fine. Just need to watch her, make sure she's breathing, don't let her take her meds. But let's make sure this is perfectly clear. I'm going to talk to her when she gets back, and if she's not a hundred percent sure you behaved yourself-" 

"Cas has better threats, you should ask him about the ice pick one. But it's me, Dean... Just, if Cas heard that she was drinking, he's going to freak out. This wasn't her fault." 

Dean considered the likelihood of Cas driving to Houston the moment he was told, and immediately saw his point, "Yeah, he would freak out about this, probably more than you realize... Is she making any sense right now?" 

"...A little, I guess." 

"Put her on." 

Dean waited, and heard the crackle of her hair against the phone. 

"Who'sit?" Claire slurred. 

"Hey, Claire, you feeling okay?" 

"I was on the floor." 

"Where are you now?" he asked, stepping off the porch, onto the grass. 

"He picked me up... I don't like my shoes." 

"Okay, I want you to think about that glass of water, what was wrong with it? Was it cloudy? Or, um, bitter? Taste like salt?" 

"Salt... looked like water. Was it sea water?" 

"No, honey, you got drugged. Is Alfie gonna take care of you, or do I need to drive your dad down there?" 

"Um... what?" 

"Are you safe right now?" 

"Yeah... Alfie, lock the door... No, I want my shoes off..." 

Dean cringed, and waited for Alfie to come back on the line. 

"Dean, you still there?" 

"Yeah." 

"Okay, so what now?" 

"Now? Well, sounds like the kind that doesn't kill people. But I doubt she's going to remember any of this, so when she wakes up, treat it like a hangover, and try to get out of the way while she freaks out." 

"She's going to freak out?" 

"Wouldn't you? ...You know what she's been through. Any missing time where she wasn't in control is going to freak her out, just like it should, but worse, because her imagination has less of a jump to make." Dean looked up as the back door opened. Cas came outside with two beers, and Dean immediately hushed his conversation. 

"So, I'm completely screwed no matter what I do, even though I didn't do this?" Alfie asked. 

In the background Claire made a comment involving screwing he was glad he couldn't make out. 

"As nature intended it. You need anything else, call, I mean it. Even if it's the middle of the night." Dean said, accepting the second bottle from Cas. 

"Right... thanks, Dean." 

Cas nodded toward the phone as Dean put it away, "Your brother?" 

"Well, family... You go all out for them, right?" 

"Of course." Cas replied, "I was hoping Claire was going to let me know how it went, but I suppose it's probably still going on." 

"I'm sure we'll find out tomorrow." Dean reassured him. 

* * *

"Hey..." Alfie said, patting Claire's face softly, "Claire... Try to stay awake, I'm not sure what to do." 

Claire weakly pushed his hand away and let her head drop to one side, "I still hate my shoes." 

"Okay, let's see... Kevin might know. Or Margaret." 

"Margaret's pregnant." 

"Yeah, she is. But she's a girl, so she might have an idea." Alfie replied, dialing the number. 

"She's not having a idea baby." Claire mumbled, "I'm really floppy." 

"Yeah, but that's okay... Hey, Margaret, Claire's drink got messed with, and she's a mess. Dean said she's not going to remember this, so she might freak out later... Right... Okay, yeah, I think it can. Great..." 

Alfie continued to listen as Claire's fingers found his waistband, "I'm cold." 

"Okay, yeah. Thanks." Alfie gently pried Claire's hand away and stood up from the bed to get out of her reach, hanging up the phone, "Claire, don't do that." 

"Why?" 

"Can you reach your shoes?" 

Claire gave him an odd look and attempted to kick them off. 

Alfie set his hand firmly on her knee, "Calm down, okay?... I'll get them in a minute." 

This seemed to settle her, but she watched suspiciously as he plugged his phone in and propped it against the lamp. 

"What's that?" 

"Don't worry about it." 

"Can people see me?" 

"No. Just you." 

"Like a mirror?" 

"Um... Yeah. But for later." 

"Time travel sucks." 

Alfie chuckled, "Do you know that from experience?" 

Claire didn't reply as Alfie gently removed her shoes and set them on the bedside table next to the phone, careful not to obstruct the camera. 

She looked at the window, where she'd been standing earlier, and gave a faint mumble. 

"What?" Alfie asked. 

"I'm missing the lights." 

He nodded, "Okay, yeah. We'll look at the lights for a minute." 

Alfie carefully pulled her up from the bed, and moved to stand by the window, setting her feet down on the floor, but still taking the majority of her weight as she leaned into the glass. 

"That's sparkly." 

"Yeah... You'll like Dallas better." 

"...Dallas?" 

"Oh yeah," Alfie replied, "Later on... When you feel better. Then, hopefully while my mom's somewhere else, like, I dunno, Germany, or Switzerland, or the depths of hell, we'll go see Paris." 

Claire seemed to be losing her grip on consciousness even faster, and he quickly scooped her up, taking her back to the bed. 

She startled somewhat as he set her down, and he spoke gently to her as he shut the curatins, and turned off most of the lights. 

* * *

"Okay, I got the spray cans of cheese. But if you're under the impression that this is any healthier for you than crack, well," Kevin said loudly, setting the plastic bags on the counter. 

Margaret was suddenly standing in the hallway, fuming. 

"What? What happened?" 

"Some asshole drugged Claire at the thing they went to." 

"Is she okay?" 

"Yeah, Alfie has her, she's fine, but that is such crap! Why would somebody do that? That's... it's not fair! Just completely taking away her power to walk and talk and be conscious. This just pisses me off so much!" 

"But she's fine?" 

"Yeah, Alfie called me. I told him to record her so she can see what happened later. That's what we did when... Nevermind." 

Kevin shook his head, "When, what?" 

"Um... a couple of friends and I snuck into a college party during high school, and somebody either had too much, or took a drink from the wrong person, anyway, we took her home and got out a video camera. She watched it later, and it helped her not freak out so much." 

"Who?" 

"Why does it matter?" Margaret asked, "We got her out of there, and she was okay." 

"Was it you?" 

"Even if it was, it wouldn't be any of your business." 

Kevin gave a reluctant shrug, "Fine. Have fun with your cheese crack." 

"Hey." she called after him as he headed for the door, "We need to plan the birth." 

"What's to plan? You go into labor, holler, I'll come take you to the hospital, or meet you there." Kevin replied with a grumpy tone as he continued to the door. 

"Circumcision." Margaret called loudly. 

Kevin stopped in his tracks with a violent shudder, and spun around, "What the fuck, Margaret?" 

"You want to be the dad? We have stuff we need to sort out. So put the asshole act on hold, okay?" 

"It's not an act! It's all I have left where you're concerned, all right?... And anyway, just... No, okay? No cutting anything." 

"What about the umbilical cord? That needs cut, but are you gonna cut it? And delayed clamping? And there's external monitors, or internal monitors where they put a screw in the top of the baby's head in the soft spot-" 

"Oh my god, stop!" Kevin snapped, "Holy shit, I don't know! Why does it have to be now? I barely passed a quiz today, I don't want want to get into crazy shit about your placenta or whatever." 

"We need a middle name." 

"Great. So I actually get to pick one?" 

"No, we need to be able to agree on something. This is getting completely stupid, and we can't keep fighting about stuff that involves our child." 

Kevin shifted, somewhere between anxious and angry, "You've got fifteen minutes where I'll try to cooperate, then I'm going home." 

* * *

Dean opted for one more check on Ben and Nick after Cas said he was headed to bed, and by the time he'd gotten to the bedroom, Cas was already stretched out on his side of the bed, reading a local news article on his phone. 

"Y'know, I don't think I've ever seen you wear a shirt to bed. Not on purpose, anyway." 

Cas shrugged, "If Ben comes looking for you in the middle of the night, the last thing I'd want to do is make him uncomfortable. At any rate, I'm sure you're as tired as I am." 

"When did you fix the bed?" 

"First thing this morning... I have a stack of pre-cut lumber in the garage." Cas looked up to find Dean staring at his face, "It can't be that unusual." 

"So, your bed breaks often enough that you just figured, 'hey, I'll just get a stack of lumber, and pop it on there as needed?' What would it take for you to get a new one?" 

Cas didn't meet his eyes, "New ones aren't this sturdy. There was structural design involved, and it was made to be easy to repair." 

"So, that's why you weren't surprised... How many beds have you broken?" 

"Enough that I have the repair time down to ten minutes." Cas answered. 

"So, getting a new one, that's just-" 

"Out of the question, yes... I tried to leave you some hot water." 

"I though you had a tankless water heater?" 

"It's on my to-do list." 

* * *


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: So... stuff is picking up, here... and, uh... Yeah...
> 
> Pretty sure the next chapter will be up pretty soon.
> 
> Y'all rock. Thanks for reading! FW)

* * *

Dean woke to find the bed otherwise empty, which immediately put him into a grumpy mood, but the door stood open and sounds and scents drifted in from the kitchen, quiet talking, eggs being scrambled, juice being poured, and a dog being let out into the back yard. 

For a moment, Dean realized this was exactly according to plan. Life was working the way it was supposed to for once, but it wasn't about to stop just because he didn't like waking up alone. 

A flash of panic hit him as he wondered if Claire had woken up and called her father, and whether she'd remember speaking to him on the phone. 

He felt guilty already, as he reached for his phone on the nightstand, knowing he shouldn't have kept it from Cas. He tried to imagine how he'd feel if Ben was incapacitated in a hotel in Houston, but it was difficult for him, because Ben wasn't nineteen. 

No calls, no texts. He almost wanted to check in, but hoped he'd hear something soon. 

He took his phone with him as he went downstairs, listening intently. Ben's voice certainly sounded happy, even if he could only pick out the occasional word. As he got closer he could manage the conversation, Ben was talking about an English teacher he hated, and Cas was sympathetic, but stressing the importance of working hard and being respectful in spite of the situation. 

"You know it's not just me, right? He does that to all the kids. Just makes fun of them if they don't know the answer when he calls on them." 

Cas nodded, "I'll mention it to Ms. Rowland, but if he clams up with her around, you might have to record it to get proof. And that's still not going to be as big a deal as it should be. What does he do if you know the answer?" 

"He just makes this weird pig snort, like he's mad that he didn't get to pick on you. But he calls on Sandy Davis so much, sometimes she looks like she's going to cry." 

Cas nodded, "Sandy is a very reserved person, I can see why she wouldn't like being put on the spot like that. Unfortunately not all bullies are are on the same level as you, and throughout your life, as you're going to find out, there will be people who abuse their authority over others and it's best to learn how to confront it without serious consequences now." 

Dean rounded the corner slowly, still a bit tired from the heavy lifting the day before, "Mornin', fellas." 

Cas quickly passed him a mug from the cabinet just past him, and Dean went straight for the coffee pot as Ben started talking about his plans for taking Nick out into the wooded back yard to explore for the day. 

* * *

Claire woke roughly as she shifted, the underwire of her bra poking into her painfully. 

She opened her eyes, not even feeling the frown she wore, to find Alfie sitting up next to her. 

"Alfie?" he turned around to face her, something of a guilty look on his face, "Why are we both still dressed?" 

Her voice was a harsh croak, and hurt her throat. 

"I'll explain everything, I swear, but I'm gonna get you some water first." 

Claire started to shake her head, not sure why she thought that sounded like a horrible idea, but he quickly returned with a glass of water for her. 

"Okay, do you remember the gallery last night?" he asked. 

"Yeah, we left early." 

"What about driving back to the hotel?" 

Claire drank deeply and rubbed at her face. She moved to set the glass down, only to find his propped phone next to the lamp, her own face staring back at her. 

"Not really. Is that recording?" 

"Basically. But do you remember getting into the room? Falling on the floor?" 

Claire shook her head, but Alfie noticed she was already tensing and her breath had quickened. 

"I called Dean right away, you even talked to him. Do you remember any of that?" 

"Um... We were looking at the lights... was I drunk?" 

Alfie started to reach for her, but she abruptly pulled away. He changed course and picked up his phone, stopping the app he'd been using, "I set this up, Margaret's idea, but it was set to record when there was movement, so it's not like, hours... She said if you knew what had happened you'd handle it better." 

"What happened?" 

"Nothing happened. I mean, somebody put a date rape drug in your drink, but I swear, I was with you the whole time. Nobody had any chance to hurt you, I promise." 

"Except for you." Claire was forcing down panic, and not truly considering her words, even as Alfie tried to pass her the phone. 

"Please, calm down, okay? Last night was... I've never seen you like that, it really freaked me out." 

"So, if you told Dean, then my dad knows?" 

"Probably not. But he said he was going to talk to you when we get back... Just, there's the video, I gotta get ready... Are you okay? Do you want me to stay in here with you?" 

Claire shook her head, and looked at the screen of the phone as Alfie headed for the shower. 

She felt disoriented and confused, she wanted to scream, cry, or throw up, but with shaky hands she started the playback. 

Dizziness overtook her, and she lay back down, still watching the video carefully. 

She'd been like a rag doll, loose jointed, and mumbling. She watched as Alfie had taken her to the window, and carried her back to the bed. She assumed that she had lost consciousness at that point, but when Alfie got in beside her, she had tugged at his shirt. 

Claire heard the shower start running, and turned up the sound on the phone, listening as her own wavering and slurred speech was indistinguishable. 

"No, don't do that." Alfie's voice came through, "Tomorrow, okay? Anything you want... Claire, hey..." 

On the screen, Alfie firmly but gently took her hand from under the blankets, shifting her arm to rest outside of them, pulling her close despite something that sounded like a rather bitchy comment from her. 

Claire must have still been awake, because she'd continued to talk. 

"My dad said I can't move in with you." 

"Okay." 

"Dean and Ben are moving in. Maybe you can move in, too." 

"I'm sure they'd love that." Alfie replied sarcastically, but Claire had been too out of it to catch his tone. 

"I would... You're cuddly... Maybe it's okay." 

"Sure, I can get a doghouse and sleep in the back yard with Nick." 

Claire seemed to move quite a bit all at once, "I can't wear this. This is tight." 

"Sorry, that needs to stay on." 

"I don't like this shirt... Why?" 

"It's a hotel rule. You have to have clothes on, in case the maid service comes." 

This seemed an acceptable reason to Claire in the video, and she stopped moving so much. Alfie stroked her hair, and was either humming, or singing very quietly. 

The phone had skipped any portion of time where it hadn't sensed motion, but the occasional deep breath, hair stroke, and any tossing or turning had caught another brief glimpse of her missing evening. 

She noticed a pattern at one point, she had been barely moving, and with the small time stamp in the corner of the video, it had seemed to be hours, and Alfie would reach for her wrist, put an arm over her, and after a while, roll further away. The pattern repeated several times. 

A glance at the clock showed she'd been watching for nearly an hour when she noticed Alfie sitting up next to her, rubbing his face, and beginning to talk to her, coming to the morning. 

She hadn't noticed Alfie moving around the room, as she'd been completely engrossed in the video, but once she set the phone down, she realized he'd showered, shaved, dressed, and started to pack. 

Noticing her slightly less bewildered look, he sat down next to her, waiting quietly in case she spoke. 

"I, um... I was a mess, huh?" 

"Yeah, but, that's not your fault... And you know I'd never let anything happen to you." 

Claire nodded, still shaky, "It's still weird. What if... God, I hate this." 

"Hey, it's scary, I get it. But you're safe, okay?... You want room service for breakfast, or do you want to go out someplace? I can have something up here by the time you're out of the shower." 

"I'm okay with a bag of breakfast tacos in the car." 

"Or... they have strawberry crepes at this place two blocks away..." 

"You can keep your weird fruity omelet. I want breakfast tacos." Claire replied, carefully attempting to stand. 

Gravity had become a cruel trick, however, and Alfie barely managed to steady her. 

"Maybe leaving right is a bad idea." Alfie mused. 

Claire pushed herself up to an unsteady stance and continued without his help to the bathroom. 

* * *

After a long drive for one, and a day full of packing, unpacking, and adjusting furniture for the other, Dean managed to catch up with Claire as she sat on the edge of the back porch watching Ben ascend the branches of a nearby tree. She was throwing a ball for Nick, who was only too happy to fetch it. 

"So, Houston...? How was the party?" 

"You didn't tell my dad." Claire said quickly. 

"What?" 

"He has no idea. Otherwise he would have called me, freaking out, probably three times before I got home, and-" 

"No, I didn't." Dean cut her off, "That's your business. Unless I need to go make your boyfriend disappear, anyway. But if he was the type, I don't think you'd be seeing him in the first place." 

"Wow, for a second that almost sounded like you approve of the guy." Claire chuckled. 

Dean dodged the comment, "But you're okay?... Nothing happened?" 

"Nothing happened. I saw the video." 

Dean nodded, "Okay, good... You're sure, though? I mean, maybe before you guys left that party or whatever..." 

"No, I... I remember leaving the gallery. And there was somebody following me around there, Alfie noticed him too, that's why I wanted to leave." 

Dean looked up to where Ben had climbed, "Yeah, okay... You know, if your dad finds out I knew and didn't tell him,-" 

"He finds out at all, you and Alfie, probably all three of us are in for it. Yeah. But it's none of his business, and there's no reason to stress him out over one more way he can't protect me, right?... I mean it was a glass of water, that's not supposed to be dangerous." 

Dean sat down on the steps, "So, what about this staying put for a year thing? Last I heard you had your own ideas on that." 

"Still thinking about it." Claire replied with a shrug, "Like, maybe if I can work out the sleep stuff, leave a little earlier, it probably wouldn't hurt to hold out until the summer, that's close enough... Right? I mean, that's almost a year." 

"Yeah, well, you'll be twenty then, and it's more than just a couple of months away." Dean answered, "And you'll still have a couple of years of college left... Where are we at on the work thing?" 

"Well, dad talked me into getting my meds adjusted again, I might need a few days to just rest up and deal with the change, then if I can manage school and still come in and work, then I will." 

"Yeah, well, I know you. So, just a reminder, health, then school, okay? I'm sure Cas feels the same way, drop out if you have to, but take care of yourself first." 

Nick got up, approaching Ben, who'd just dropped from a low branch, heading for the porch, "Hey dad, did you call Trey's mom yet?" 

"No, I didn't. But I will." 

"Trey?" Claire asked, as Ben went inside, "I thought you couldn't stand that kid?" 

"Yeah, well, he's having Jack and Xander out for laser tag, one more won't hurt." 

Claire shook her head, "In the junkyard?" 

"Yeah, in the junkyard. They'll be fine." 

"Yeah, until they're not. Just a bunch of broken glass, snakes, scorpions, coyotes, oh yeah, and all that sharp, rusted metal..." 

"You're out there all the time, and you're fine. He's been running around out there long enough to know what he's doing." Dean argued. 

"The other three haven't." 

"They're middle school kids, you can't bubble wrap them." 

"It's not bubble wrapping them to say it's a dumb idea." 

"Says the girl that got taken down by a glass of water." 

"That has nothing to do with this. The yard is barely safe for adults, you wouldn't let Lucas or Kip go out there alone for a week." Claire replied. 

Dean shrugged, "They were pulling parts out of cars, the boys just want to run around and shoot at each other. They need obstacles." 

Claire pointed to the edge of the yard, "Great. We've got a bunch of trees over here. Lots of space, too. No reason to have them in the yard." 

"Give it a rest." Dean answered, getting up, "When I was a kid I was getting into a whole lot worse. They'll be fine." 

* * *

Monday had been a little odd at breakfast. Claire had been in a terrible mood, Cas had cooked more than he needed to, and was running late, and he had offered to drive Ben in, but the bus hadn't run yet, and Ben wasn't ready. 

Dean had a later schedule, and with the shop in close proximity, had no problem taking over the clean up from breakfast despite an odd, snarky grumble from Claire that had made no sense. 

Overall, no one had had a spectacular day. 

A substitute had sent one of the quietest, and most demure students to Cas' office for failing to speak loudly enough when answering a question, and the child had been reduced to tears. 

Ben had crossed paths with an eighth grader who was looking for a new target, and had been roughly shoved into a wall. 

Claire had been late to a class where she didn't know any of the other students, and felt that she'd probably missed something vital in the first ten minutes, but didn't have it in her to ask around about checking someone else's notes. 

At the shop, Lucas and Randy had gotten into a heated discussion about whether or not Barney the purple dinosaur was an allegory for Budai in children's television, and Dean had threatened to find a Barney CD Ben had had and play it in the shop nonstop until they dropped the conversation completely, but the conversation continued. Dean had gotten irritated enough that he'd had to walk away from that one. 

Slowly rejoining at the end of the day, however, with the scent of a meal in the crock pot that Dean had set up during his lunch break, there was no doubt in any of their minds that the adjustments being made to their home life were good ones. 

Dinner had put all four of them in a better mood, and as Claire was digging out a movie Ben hadn't yet seen, Dean and Cas shifted the furniture in the new downstairs office a bit more, and wound up on the front porch swing. 

"I don't know if I like that idea." Cas said quietly. 

"You don't even lock the doors half the time." 

"Who would even know this house is out here? Much less come check the knob. It's a lifelong habit, this has always been a safe place." 

"Yeah, until it's not." Dean replied, "Then the one time, and it only takes one time, somebody looks around on a satellite map, comes out here-" 

"Driving right past the shop, I'm certain-" 

"I'm not always there." 

"Dean, the odds of having someone break in, here, and while any of us are even home, it's just..." Cas looked over his shoulder toward the living room where their children were watching a movie, "Accidents happen. I don't think I could live with that." 

"Ben knows the rules, and I keep everything under lock and key. I mean, I would want you to learn all that stuff, Claire too, all the safety and maintenance and stuff, that would have been a lot easier when you found out about that one from Bobby, right?" 

"I think there's a big difference between knowing how to safely handle a weapon, and actually keeping one in the home." Cas said quietly. 

"Yeah, there is. But if we have an emergency, how long is it gonna take to get someone with a badge out here? I rank it right up there with the first aid kit. Which, by the way, Claire needs some know-how with that, too." 

"I have no problem with that. But the idea of a gun in the house makes me uneasy... Just... give me some time to think about it." 

It wasn't much later that Cas was turning out the bathroom light and getting into the bed next to Dean. Dean was laying on his stomach with his face turned to Cas, a pillow somewhat wadded up below his face and chest. 

"I think I'm getting to know that look." Cas said quietly, his eyes following the curve of Dean's muscular back. 

"Is that right?" it was less of a question, and more of an obvious reply. 

"It's been a few days." Cas remarked, reaching for him, and finding, as he suspected, Dean was entirely undressed. 

Dean shrugged, "I'm all set if you are. You took a while in there." 

Cas ran his hand up Dean's back, pressing a kiss to his shoulder before Dean rolled onto his side and inched closer, kissing Cas softly, pressing against him firmly, as they quickly became entangled in each other's arms. 

Dean shoved Cas' boxers down, and Cas kicked them free, not caring where they ended up somewhere adrift in the sheets. 

Cas let one of his hands wind it's way to where Dean, already hard as a brick, was trying not to poke him too hard in the thigh, earning him a much deserved whimper against his lips. With his other hand, he pulled Dean's knee over his own hip and rolled, as Dean awkwardly and distractedly followed his lead, moving to straddle Cas' waist as Cas continued to stroke him, soon involving both hands. 

"Cas..." Dean whispered roughly, "..love you, sweetheart." 

Cas shifted his hips below Dean, adjusting himself to sit up more, spreading his knees slightly as Dean began to penetrate himself on Cas' hard length, until Cas abruptly let go and grabbed him by the hips. 

Dean met Cas' eyes and waited patiently until Cas' hands encouraged him to shove downward roughly. 

Dean stifled a deep groan, and leaned down to kiss Cas again, and started to move, bracing himself on Cas' thigh as he sat up again. Cas took hold of him again, stroking him firmly and watching as Dean's movements became rougher. 

Cas waited until Dean had hit a desperate point, the place they both loved to watch for, before the teasing would begin, and grabbed Dean's shoulders roughly, rolling them both over, and thrusting firmly a few times before burying himself deeply, and refusing to move. 

Cas kissed Dean hard, keeping him pinned to the bed as he tried to keep moving, "Tell me again." 

Dean was fighting through a panting breath, "I love you." 

Cas pulled back and thrust in hard, and kissed him once more, as Dean's fingers scrambled for purchase on Cas' ribs. Cas reached to stroke the side of Dean's face and neck before taking hold of his hair, tugging his head to the side as he started to pound into him mercilessly, dragging his lips down Dean’s neck and biting down into the top of his pec. It would be hidden under his clothes, certainly, but it was still a mark of his own making. 

Dean choked back a yelp, hiding it under a tight throated growl. 

"Dean..." Cas said in a hushed tone in Dean's ear, "Swear..." 

"I... I swear, I'm yours... Ohhh, god, Cas!..." Cas kissed him way back up Dean's neck, "I'm close..." 

Cas wrapped his finger and thumb around Dean's base, impossibly tight, "Not yet." 

Dean gave a helpless squirm, and a shaky nod as Cas continued, running his nails up Cas' sides, finding his nipple ring and giving it a small twist, making Cas give a small gasp. 

"... Love you, Cas..." 

Cas released the tight ring he'd made of his hand, giving Dean a few brief strokes to complete him just as he buried in with several sharp jolts, letting his head drop to press a pain-sharpened kiss to the small bruise forming on Dean's chest. 

Cas easily slid free of Dean's body, but didn't otherwise move, despite the sticky mess that had mingled with their sweat, and coated his fingers and both their stomachs. 

His voice roughened with effort, Cas replied, "I love you, too." 

Dean slipped his fingers into Cas' dark hair, stroking softly, and before long, Cas was asleep. 

* * *

Tuesday morning, after a few days without contact, Kevin sat in the waiting room next to Margaret, completely absorbed in his phone. 

"You didn't have to come with me for this one, it's not about the baby." 

Kevin replied with a faint mumble, "Yeah, you drive worse when you're stressed, and you hate pap smears." 

"I don't need a babysitter." 

"Yet." 

"You know what I mean." 

Kevin didn't answer, continuing to stare at his phone. 

"Okay, you're pissing me off." Margaret hissed, "If you're gonna be here, you can wait in the car." 

Kevin got up immediately with an arrogant shrug and made a beeline for the door. 

"Margaret?" a nurse called from an interior door as Kevin was leaving on the other side of the room. 

* * *

Leaving the obstetrician's office, Margaret noticed Kevin was napping in the driver's seat and considered leaving him where he was and walking home. 

Begrudgingly, she got in on the passenger side, "So, you really don't want me driving, huh?" 

Kevin yawned as he raised the seat back, "Why?" 

"Because I need to go to a shop we don't have in town." Margaret answered. 

"Some kind of vitamins or something? What?" 

"None of your business." Margaret answered, searching for an address on her phone. 

"C'mon. If I have to drive you to the next town-" 

"Fine. I'm buying a vibrator." Margaret snapped. 

Kevin made a funny choking sound, then stifled a laugh, "You can't just get that online?" 

"Okay, shut up. I'm a grown woman, I'll buy one if I want to, and second, it's because my hormones are a mess, okay? I mean, I should not get this worked up over a damn speculum, and I'm actually having a lot of trouble with this right now, and it's an all the time thing. And since I'm scared as hell of catching something while I've got a baby in there, now's not the time for me to be looking for somebody to help me out with this. So are you going to drive me, or drop me off so I can go by myself?" 

Taken aback, Kevin shrugged, and started the car, "... So this is why you're so bitchy lately?... I mean, not even the bathtub-?" 

"Shut up." 

"Right. Okay, where to?" 

Margaret held up her phone. 

"That's not a good neighborhood, are you sure that's where you want to go?" Kevin asked. 

"It's twenty miles away instead of forty, so, yeah." 

"Fine... Exactly what I want to do, take my ex to a sex toy shop." 

"You can wait in the car." Margaret replied in a grumpy tone. 

"Chill, Mags, I know it's none of my business who or what you're doing for fun, but maybe see if they have batteries there so you don't have to make two stops." 

* * *


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: This is a very grown-up chapter. But not porn. Not unless you have some really crazy pornographic, anyway.
> 
> Real talk, hero!Kevin, and some wtf. I've got chapters flying out of my ears now that I'm in the swing of things. 
> 
> I almost want to give hints about some upcoming stuff, but, it's all lining up so well, I don't want to ruin it... arg. If you make it to the end without both sad and happy tears, though, I will have failed, or you don't have a soul. Lol, bonus litmus test! Lol!
> 
> Love ya! FW)

* * *

Claire had barely signed in when Lucas, by far the squirreliest member of the Singer Auto crew, came running through the hallway and zipped out the front door, closely followed by a more barrel-shaped Randy. 

"Stop!" Claire gave her no-nonsense command, "What is it now?" 

"He... um..." Randy started. 

"Out with it, I've got better shit to waste my time on." 

Randy adjusted his glasses with a heavy huff, "Look, it's... it's stupid, and there's a girl involved, okay?" 

"Yeah, well, good thing I'm here, then, to keep you guys from drowning in your own testosterone. So, no pissing contests in the shop. Get back to work." 

Randy stalled for a moment, but Claire pointed an authoritative finger down the hallway, and he turned around to comply. 

The shop door swung open behind them, and Dean came in, half dragging Lucas, "..I don't care. You know the rules, you don't date co-workers." 

"Yeah, but Alfie and Claire-" 

"Are so professional, nobody would know if you didn't tell them. You, on the other hand, you say a damn word to Margaret, and you're gonna get crude enough to get stuck in the back of the yard for a week." 

"What if she likes crude?" Lucas asked with a smirk. 

Claire shrugged slightly, considering Margaret's occasional tendency toward perverted humor. 

"I guess you'll find out if she starts it." Dean replied, "But do yourself a favor, if you want to keep working here, and pretend you know what a gentleman acts like... Randy, this is done. Let it go." 

"Yes, sir." Randy replied, heading back for the garage. 

Claire was still trying to wrap her head around whatever had just happened while Ivan slipped past Randy and Lucas, headed for the bookshelf as Dean went straight to his office. 

"What the hell is going on around here?" she asked, somewhat bewildered. 

Ivan shrugged, "Lucas likes her and found out she's single." 

"Yeah, and what about the other part?" Claire asked. 

"Other part?" 

"That she's..." Claire grimaced and continued in a mutter, "Not really showing yet and everything looks baggy on her anyway... Nevermind! Forget it." 

"I know she was with Kevin for a long time, but, that's not still a thing, right?" 

"Um...I don't know. Sorry." Claire replied, "You're not trying to ask her out, too, are you?" 

Ivan shook his head, "No. Actually, um.. Okay, so I better tell you so this doesn't get weird later-" 

"Oh, god. Kevin?" 

"Julie." 

"Julie? The same Julie...?" 

"Julie you threw in the cab of my truck when that guy slapped her. Works at the diner, has a baby, yeah." 

Claire shook her head in surprise, "Wow. Didn't see that coming." 

"Um," Ivan started. 

"Yeah, now that I think about it, I could actually see the you-and-Kevin thing, but, Julie?" 

"She's nice. We went out Saturday, and I'm gonna meet up with her and the rugrat at the fall festival this weekend." 

"She... Okay, look, I hate rumors, but this is my boyfriend this happened to, and there's video, okay? So I am only trying to make sure you have, just, ample warning to protect yourself. She was trying to get Alfie to cheat on me, he shot her down, and he wasn't nice about it, either, and she just..." Not wanting to actually say it, Claire made a low, cupped, grabbing motion with her hand, "So, now you know, she's got a history of sexually assaulting people. What you do with that info is your business." 

"And I've got a history of sexually harassing people. You, in fact. All those inappropriate jokes, and comments? I should've gotten fired, but we're cool now. People can change... Y'know, choose to do the right thing." 

"That's really rare." 

"No, it's really not. Ask old people who they don't hang out with, and why. Some folks stop being dipshits and start treating people right when they're young, sometimes it takes fifty years, and sometimes they never figure it out. If Julie took a little longer because of how she was raised, that's not entirely her fault. What matters is what she does now, right? And, like you said, you hate rumors, so, y'know, you warned me, thanks, but I think I'm good, so now that's nobody else's business." 

Claire nodded, "Yeah, okay. Hope you get better treatment from her than what I got through high school." 

"I can tell you mean that." 

* * *

Margaret checked her purse to make sure she had her driver's license and her debit card as Kevin looked around the dingy parking lot. The building looked somewhat dilapidated. 

"This place looks really seedy. I mean, look, they don't even have windows." Kevin observed. 

"If they had windows, any kid could look in, and they'd get sued." Margaret replied. 

"Did you check the reviews on this place?" 

"Look, if I'm not back in ten minutes, you can go check if someone dumped my body in the alley, okay?" 

Kevin shrugged as she got out and closed the door, "I just might." 

Trying to hide her nervous behavior, she approached the building in a quick and businesslike fashion, and slipped through the door. 

It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the dimmer lighting. The shopkeeper sat behind a U-shaped counter next to the door, a girl about her own age with a few visible tattoos and a nose-ring. Her hair was a chemically fried consistency, and a faded unnatural color. She was flipping through a fashion magazine, and gave Margaret a weary look. 

"You over 18?" 

"Yeah. You need to see my I.D.?" Margaret offered. 

The girl shrugged, "...whatever..." 

Margaret was a bit confused, but wandered off between the shelves, looking around at the various products. 

Eventually she found a section of items she thought might be along the lines of what she wanted, and what was in her price range, and stood for a moment, looking over the various options. 

The baby was moving more than usual, and without realizing it, she put her hand on the top of the protruding bump, just enough that her loose shirt made it a bit more obvious. 

"Hey there." 

Margaret jumped a bit at the man's voice, thinking the shop had been empty but for her and the shop keeper. 

The man wasn't much taller than she was, but a bit bulkier. His thinning hairline gave his age away, "Looking for a new toy, huh?" 

"Um. Right." Margaret answered, and started to move back, "Sorry, was I in your way?" 

"Not at all." he answered, moving closer. 

Margaret was unnerved by his behavior, and the glance he gave her rounded belly. 

"So, are, uh, you two-" he pointed to her face and her stomach with an attempt at a friendly smile that made her skin crawl, "-here by yourselves?" 

Margaret forced a chuckle, giving her belly a pat, "Of course not. Dad's in the car." 

"Well, what daddy doesn't know..." 

"I gotta go." Margaret replied, turning around. 

The man moved faster, and cut her off from the door. Panicked, she had her phone in her hand and turned around, pacing toward a corner of the shop, texting, and looking anxiously for a second exit. 

"Oh, don't be mad. C'mon, there's a back room if you want to test something out. I can help." he said with a laugh as he followed her at a distance. 

* * *

Kevin was playing a game as the texts came through. 

'Some hut following me' 

"Hut?..." 

'Kev help pls' 

Kevin got out immediately, slamming the car door and marching into the shop. 

"You over 18?" the shopkeeper asked, disinterested. 

Kevin barely glanced at her, as from the back of the store he heard Margaret's voice. 

"Just go away!... Fuck off, don't touch me!" 

Kevin went straight toward the sound, finally coming around a corner to find Margaret backed against a shelf. 

The man in front of her was standing much too close, and Margaret was getting angry, but too frightened to act on it. 

"Hey!" Kevin said loudly, "You got problem?" 

The man turned quickly, and pulled his hand away from Margaret's stomach, "Heh, well, you know, babies. So precious." 

"I don't really give a shit." Kevin growled, "She said fuck off. Too bad you didn't listen." 

"Hey, no harm meant, now." the man was backing away, raising his hands defensively, "Just being friendly." 

"Bullshit." Kevin snapped, "But at least you're in the right place at the right time." 

"What?" 

"Because you're here, so you can buy a bag of dicks to choke on, now get lost." 

"It's not against the law to talk to a pretty lady, you know." the man argued. 

Kevin reached for the closest shelf, grabbing the first thing that came to his hand, and chucked it hard at the man's head. It glanced off his shoulder, but it began to drive the man closer to the door. Kevin stalked after him. 

"Now, come on! I didn't do anything!" 

"No, you just think you have some right to put your hands on my pregnant girlfriend, who the fuck do you think you are, asshole?" Kevin called loudly as the man neared the door. 

The man leaned over the counter, hurriedly speaking to the shopkeeper, claiming Kevin was harassing him, and asking her to call the police. 

She shrugged as Kevin came closer, "Whatever, I just work here." 

On the counter was a display of several clear, phallic objects stood on end, and Kevin grabbed one, chucking it at the man's head once again. This one struck him fairly hard in the side of the arm he'd thrown up to protect his face as Kevin lobbed it at him, and picked up another, "You think it's funny?" 

The shopkeeper started laughing, ignoring the man's pleads, and Kevin threw the second one. 

The man ducked out the door to the sounds of the shopkeeper's laughter and the broken glass of the second one as it hit the floor. 

Kevin was still seething as the shopkeeper leaned over the counter, surveying the damage with a chuckle. 

"Um, so, you gonna pay for those?" she asked. 

Kevin turned to her, anger in his eyes, "You wouldn't call the cops for that asshole harassing a woman, but you're gonna charge me for the busted dildos?" 

"Technically those are-" 

"Shut up. You're not doing your job if you're not going to make sure people aren't getting messed with in your store, you'll be lucky if she doesn't sue you." 

Kevin turned around to find Margaret behind him, still shaken and a bit pale. 

"Go find what you need, so we can get out of here." 

Margaret shook her head, "I just want to go home." 

Kevin nodded in reply and turned back to the shopkeeper, "So, are we good?" 

"Yeah, sure." she answered. 

Kevin put his arm around Margaret and walked her to the car. He opened the door for her, and noticed she was still shaking as she got in. 

He quickly got in on the other side and got them back on the highway, headed for home. 

After only a couple of miles, Kevin could hear Margaret's breathing change. 

"Can you pull over?" she asked quietly. 

Kevin shot her a concerned glance, noting her reddened, tear streaked face, as she'd been trying to keep quiet, but immediately slowed the car, "You okay?" 

Margaret threw the door open the moment the car was at a full stop, and got out, wreching. 

Kevin got out and came around to the passenger side, pulling her hair back from her face as she held onto the back door at an arm's length, and leaned forward, throwing up. 

Kevin rubbed her back gently until it stopped, then leaned in the open passenger door, taking a few napkins from the center console and his half finished bottle of water, and handed them to her, getting out of the way so she could sit back down. 

Margaret was still crying as Kevin went back around and got in, she sat down sideways in the passenger seat, her back to him. 

"So... that was stressful... I'm sorry, that place looked really shady, I should've gone in with you in the first place." Kevin said quietly. 

"Because I'm useless and helpless?" Margaret muttered. 

"You're not. But I probably wouldn't have let Claire go in alone, and she can knock me to the floor." 

"Yeah, well, what about Alfie?" she asked with a sniffle. 

"That's a different story entirely." 

"Because he's a guy?" 

"No... I mean, we'd probably goof off enough that we'd get kicked out." 

Margaret used one of the napkins to blow her nose, "But you wouldn't worry about some creep messing with him." 

"I worry about everybody in my life, you know that. Unfortunately, this shit tends to happen to women on a regular basis because our society is full of assholes like that, and people who don't give a damn like the chick behind the counter. So, I can't fix it except to call people on their bullshit, at least I can manage the bodyguard thing... and you're extra vulnerable right now, not like there's a whole lot you can do about that, you're building a brand new person." 

Margaret settled into the seat, leaving the door open, "I'm kinda glad it's a boy... he won't have to deal with this crap." 

"You're wrong... Men get the same treatment, it's just rarer. But when a guy gets harassed, molested, or raped, they don't know how to talk about it, or handle it... Now, you know the thing with Samandriel, I thought, for, I dunno, a year, that somebody had taken advantage of me, had hurt me, and I never said a word. Not even to him. He had no idea, just kept his mouth shut thinking he was doing me a favor... So, yeah, we still have to keep the baby safe, and protect him, tell him all the same stuff people tell girls, like, if someone makes you uncomfortable, or does something to you, you need to tell an adult, all that stuff, and just, hopefully he'll never need it." 

Margaret leaned her head against the doorframe as her stomach settled, and they fell into a silence. 

Eventually, she closed the door, and strapped herself in, "You threw sex toys at a stranger..." 

"Yeah, I did." 

"And you broke a g-spot wand." 

Kevin shrugged, and replied in an overly confident tone, "Not like I have any use for them, right?" 

"The weird part was.. you called me your pregnant girlfriend." 

"Uh... well-" 

"And if you were using your brain enough to call me pregnant, then you should have been capable of leaving the girlfriend part off. If you just misspoke, then you wouldn't have said pregnant." Margaret said firmly, "So, what the hell is going on? Are you thinking about it, or are you just staying distant to punish me for breaking things off, with plans to get back together? Because I don't think you would have said that on accident." 

Kevin shook his head, "No... Look, you wanted it to be over, it's over. I just mixed shit up because I was pissed off, okay?" 

"You said before that you still love me." 

"That part's just taking a while." 

"You know what's crazy? We were together for ten months before you could bring yourself to say it, now you keep saying we're done, but you're admitting it easier than you did when you started saying it. You got an explanation for that?" 

Margaret waited in silence, but Kevin didn't even look in her direction. She scoffed, and looked out the window. 

"What? You want me to lie and say that I don't?" Kevin asked with a hint of arrogance. 

"If... if we both still love each other, then why does it have to hurt this much?" 

"You said you were done with me. Either you were telling the truth, and changed your mind, or you were lying... So, go on, tell me how the fuck is either one of those a healthy relationship?... You can't. Because it's not. So, even if you're not done, I am. Not because I don't love you, but because obviously we aren't any good for each other." 

"I was scared." 

"Sure. And you didn't want to get talked into getting married, and you didn't want me to drop everything and get a dead end job to take care of you. Great reasons, except for the lying part... I've got a bunch of great reasons for why I didn't start college this year, but basically it all boils down to depression, and figuring my mom would be better off taking my college money and going to Tahiti to get past the fact that I ever existed." 

"Just say it, say my parents were right, and I should've gotten another abortion." Margaret snapped. 

"...Another?" 

"Yeah, another. It was before we met." 

"If you wanted one, yeah. Otherwise, I don't know. You could have talked to me, reminded me it was important to go to college, get a good career, and all, I would've done whatever you wanted, or worked through college, I don't know. But you made your decision, all I'm doing is sticking to the plan." 

"But that part is settled, now, you're taking classes, I have a job, we could make this work." 

"Except for that part where it's over." 

"Do you hear how childish you sound?... 'No take-backsies?' I made a fucking mistake!" Margaret said loudly. 

"Mistakes make you fail your driver's test. This, this is set in stone." 

"Why?" 

"Because I can't live like that, waiting, and wondering when you're going to leave me. Something gets hard to deal with, or somebody else seems like a good idea, and you're gone. And then you're back, and then you're gone again... So I'm out. You be you, but I'm gonna be waiting on somebody stable." 

* * *

Claire picked up the work gloves and bag of tools, heading out for the yard, calling back over her shoulder, "Gonna need a hand with this one." 

Alfie was closing up a completed repair, and followed after her. 

Locating a large pickup that used to be blue and white, fairly close to the far fence, Claire opened the hood and climbed up to sit on the top of the grill, flipping through a manual to find the location of the part that had been ordered. 

"So... I noticed you really haven't been talking to me much," Alfie said quietly, "Everything okay?" 

"Need a three-eighths socket... Um, sure." 

"Because you keep not answering texts-" 

"Been busy- also a philips.. Why?" 

"Claire, you're shutting me out." Alfie replied, handing her the tools. 

"Yeah, okay... What happened before you started recording?" 

"What?" Alfie asked with a guilty look. 

"You knew I was drugged, but you didn't take me to a hospital. You called Dean instead. Come to think of it, why wouldn't he tell you to take me to a hospital?" 

Alfie nodded, "Okay... Um... You're right. I should've done that. But I was with you the whole time." 

"That part I believe. But when I got dressed up at the hotel, I know I was wearing something to surprise you with after, and the next morning, feeling like crap, I wasn't wearing it anymore." 

Alfie nodded, "The drive to the hotel, you took them off and put them in my jacket pocket while I was driving. I thought you were just really relaxed and having some fun." 

Claire set the tools down with a look that worried him, "Anything else?" 

"Yes." he replied quickly, "I just wanted to give you some time to calm down about it all before I told you." 

"Well you better tell me now, because just knowing you didn't tell me then is pissing me off." 

"Okay, um... we were leaving the gallery, do you remember what you said you wanted when we got to the hotel?" 

Claire shook her head. 

Alfie was a jittery mess, "Okay, you said... um... Look, I'm sorry, I didn't know anything was off, and I should have guessed, because, well, I know you." 

"What did you do?" Claire asked with a harsh tone. 

"Nothing I wouldn't do again, if I was completely sure you were fine." 

"Tell me." Claire snapped. 

"I was, um... kissing you." 

"You wouldn't act this guilty over kissing me." 

"Yeah, well, you were standing up, I wasn't... so... And then, you just kind of slid over, and wound up on the floor. I didn't know, Claire." 

"Did you fuck me?" Claire asked with a startled voice. 

"No! God, no, I just put you on the bed and called Dean. It was all adding up, I just stopped. And, honestly, you were kind of pissed at me a little later for stopping." 

"Why the hell wouldn't you tell me this?" 

"Because Dean said you were going to freak out when you woke up, and you were miserable. I didn't want to make it worse... I was going to tell you the next time you were in the mood, I thought that'd be be easiest way for you to handle it." 

"That's not your decision to make!" Claire replied angrily. 

"I'm sorry. But you also didn't ask, and you haven't been talking to me enough for me to try to tell you, either... There was no right time for this. And I know that's... difficult for you, anyway, you said you wanted me to, so I thought... I thought maybe if you were standing up you wouldn't be on your back, and... At least since you fell, I knew to stop, right?" 

Alfie risked a look at her face, and found the one that pained him the most. He saw it all too often, normally in the middle of the night when she'd wake up with remembered pain, or during sex when she'd suddenly need to stop. 

"Claire, please... I need you to hear me right now... I wouldn't have done anything at all if I knew. And what I did, I did because you told me... I mean, what would you have done?" 

Claire seemed shaken, "Um... Clock me out when you get back to the shop, it's uh, four-seventeen... I'm gonna head home." 

"Claire-" Alfie started to reach for her as she'd hopped down and started for a break in the fence, but she took a quick step out of his reach, and stopped, "Claire... please just tell me you know this wasn't on purpose?" 

Wrestling with a painful past and the monsters in her mind, it took everything she had, but Claire stepped closer, giving him a quick, soft kiss before she turned back around and moved quickly for the break in the fence. 

* * *


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Adult stuff, lots of guilt... also, talk of violence against animals, because middle school. Ug.
> 
> Thanks for reading! FW)

* * *

Alfie wasn't sure if Dean had it out for him, but as he had gotten back to shop and logged Claire out, Dean had gotten grumblier. 

He thought maybe Dean had overheard, but he couldn't see how. 

Later, at home, after checking on Margaret, who seemed to be jumpier than usual, and was on her way out to the pool, he shut himself in his room, locking the door. 

He opened the drawer of his nightstand, where he'd stashed them when they'd fallen from his suit jacket as he was unpacking from the trip. 

Red lace, black ribbon and a tiny silver charm that hung in the center of keyhole opening in the front... he shut the drawer again, stretching out on his bed, hard from the memory, and wracked with guilt at the same time. 

He tried so hard to get her to relax, take her time, and go slow, but normally, she would wait until she was wound up like a tight spring, about to break from frustration, and then she would find him. And he would accept her love in any way she would give it to him. Usually this meant she would climb onto his lap, or sit down on the floor and wait for him to join her, always resulting in something frantic and feral. Every now and again, though, if he was very careful, it would work out, and she could lose herself enough to be comfortable with him taking over, but it was rare. 

Houston had been different. Walking from the gallery to the parking garage, she had tugged him into a dark corner, barely big enough for the two of them, and demanded he kiss her, _"No, c'mon, like you mean it."_

In response he'd wrapped his arms around her and kissed her passionately, enough, he thought, that she'd squirmed somewhat against him... Now, however, he wondered if it had only been that she was unsteady on her feet. 

Stopped at a red light in the busy traffic, she'd laughed, and made a joke about pulling over, not being able to wait until the hotel. 

He had thought she was just comfortable with him, and after two years together, it should have been perfectly normal. She should have been able to let her guard down and be happy without it seeming suspicious. 

She'd pulled up her skirt just enough that he could see the design on her thigh-high hose. He'd had to tear his eyes away when the car behind them had honked when the light turned green, which she'd found hilarious. 

As her laughing had calmed, he had to admit she would, on occasion, and normally with alcohol involved, do a few things that would drive him out of his mind, but this had been more than she'd ever done in such a short space of time. He'd had both hands on the wheel when she'd squirmed slightly, and he realized she was working her lace underwear down her thighs, over her stockings. 

As he'd been internally questioning her motives, she'd pulled them off completely and made a joke about hanging them on the rear view mirror before stuffing them into his jacket pocket. He'd wondered if she had any clue just how bad he needed her, and if she was doing it on purpose. But then she'd made the comment that it would make things faster once they got into the room. 

_"Why?... What happens then?"_

_"Then... well, I'm gonna remind you why you're not interested in that woman from the gallery."_

He had wanted to ask her if everything was okay, if she understood that it wasn't necessary, that he was hers, if she felt she could trust him to be faithful when he was out of town, but the weakest part of him had snapped. He was solely focused on Claire, and anything she wanted. And he said as much. 

She'd made a suggestion, something that she rarely could calm herself enough to find enjoyable, and he'd happily agreed, trying with much difficulty to contain himself in the hotel elevator. 

She'd been walking slowly, leaning against him, he'd assumed it was because she wanted to be close to him, the same way she'd curl against him in her sleep. It seemed clearer now, that the chemicals had kicked in, and she was quickly losing control of her impulses and her body. 

The moment they were inside the door, he'd kissed her deeply, steering her back against the closest wall as his fingers traced the floral design on her thighs, and shrugged out of his jacket as he kissed her neck, not noticing the way her head rocked too easily to the side. 

Alfie mentally kicked himself, she'd been under the influence... He had seen her drugged up before, this had been so much more than one drink would have allowed for. 

He felt guilty already, but the memory was inescapable, slipping to his knees in front of her, pushing up the bottom of her skirt... The sound of her voice echoed in his ears, first a quick, high gasp of his name, and then the most delightful moan he'd ever heard. The memory of it made him twitch, but guilt wouldn't let him do anything about it. 

He rolled onto his stomach, uncomfortable, as he considered how the night had quickly ground to a stop. She'd given a whimper and curled forward above him, until he'd had to catch her on the way to the floor, but she'd been falling too fast to stop completely, he'd only been able to slow and direct her fall as she went for the floor. 

He had run a hand up her thigh with a grin, asking if it had really been that good, only to be met with a look of confusion. She didn't seem entirely aware of what was happening. 

He still hadn't been sure, but when he moved to lift her, she'd been fine until he'd stepped closer to the bed, at which point, she struggled. 

He'd had to calm her before he set her down. And since that point, there wasn't a moment he didn't regret her joining him on the trip in the first place. 

He pulled out his phone, sending Claire a text, 'the minute you want to talk, call, okay? Or come over, ily and im so sorry' 

* * *

Ivan pulled into the lot, watching carefully as he always did, now. 

Making his way into the diner, it was slow, even for a weekday, and Julie was bussing a table one-handed, with Cyndi on her hip. 

Julie smiled when she saw him, "Hey, Ivan. Here for the whole shop, or just you?" 

"Whole shop, but I tried to get here early." 

She chuckled, and let go of Cyndi as he took her. 

"So, got any crayons while I wait?" Ivan asked, although Cyndi reached behind him, far more interested in his ponytail. 

Julie quickly pulled a folded children's menu with crayons from her apron, and hefted the large plastic tub of dishes to her hip, headed for the kitchen. 

"Okay, darlin', what's it gonna be today, letters or numbers? You're going to need it for your kindergarten entrance exams." 

Cyndi patted a sticky hand against his cheek and babbled a reply. 

"Works for me." Ivan answered, settling into a booth by the window, letting Cyndi stand on the bench next to him as he opened up the piece of paper, "Okay, so, when I was your age, I liked Big Bird. But he has this long beak, and all we've got is red and blue. So, Elmo, or Grover?" 

Cyndi pointed out the window to the parking lot with an intent hum. 

"Car? Or truck?" 

"Bah!" 

"Yeah, okay." Ivan quickly drew a blocky profile of both a car and a truck, pausing as she pulled the crayon away from him with one grubby hand, "Yeah, go ahead. Which one is better?" 

Cyndi scribbled across them both, then reached for the other crayon. Ivan passed it to her, and watched as she scribbled almost violently with both hands. 

"Okay, so, the car, or the truck?" Ivan asked, pointing to each. 

Cyndi smiled and made a rumbling growl of a noise. 

"Yeah, they go places, huh?.. But if they sound like that, you need to bring them to the shop so I can fix it." 

Cyndi ignored him and continued to scribble. He watched for a bit, mumbled a faint approval every now and again until she lost interest. 

Ivan was certain Cyndi was beginning to get impatient. The little girl pointed out the window once as Ivan heard Julie approach, carrying the large takeout box over. 

"Vvvmmm!" 

"Yeah, the truck goes vroom." Ivan replied. 

Julie set the box down as Cyndi pointed out the window again, this time uttering something Ivan hadn't expected. He looked to Julie, about to defend himself, but Julie spoke first. 

"Right! That is a truck." Julie answered, emphasizing the first two letters of the word, "A little white truck. You're so smart!" 

Ivan couldn't hide his look of relief fast enough. 

"She really likes vehicles right now. My mom hates it, but it gets her to try to say the words, and her pediatrician says she should be saying more by now." 

Ivan shrugged, "They said Einstein was slow, and they kicked Edison out of school, so, y'know, what do they know, right? She's probably just saving up her brainpower to cure cancer or something." 

As he'd hoped, Julie smiled, "Y'know, you're probably the only one who doesn't give me any crap about how I take care of her..." 

"Well, I gotta go, I'll see you ladies Saturday." Ivan replied, picking up the box. 

"Tell Ivan 'bye-bye?'" Julie prompted, cueing a wave from Cyndi as he went for the door, returning the wave. 

Cyndi watched through the window as Ivan approached his pickup. 

"Fruck, vvvrm." 

"Yep, truck, vroom." 

* * *

"This should be pretty cool," Jack said quietly, rolling an orange from his lunch tray across the table to Xander, "I mean, there's snakes and stuff." 

"Yeah?" Trey asked, "Can we kill them?" 

Ben shook his head, "With what?" 

"I dunno, like, a shovel?" 

"My dad handles it, and he only kills the venomous ones, the ones that have teeth but no venom, he says they just keep rats away." 

"Lame... What does he use to knock 'em off?" 

"Well, one time a coyote killed a dog and her puppies, he shot it in the top of the head." Ben replied. 

"Yeah?" Trey looked entirely too hopeful, and it made Ben uneasy, but he was aiming to impress. 

"Yeah, there was blood and guts all over the place. But one of the puppies lived, that's how I got my dog." 

"Does your dog have a command for attacking people?" 

"If she did, would I tell you?" 

"I know what it is," Xander snorted, "You just say, 'Nick! Trey has bacon!' Then she'll lick your face off. Super vicious." 

"Yeah, okay, but better to have a friendly dog than one that'll turn on you." Ben replied, looking for an option to boost his reputation, "Anyway, Smoke-crack helped me train her, and he said at first that maybe I should train her with German words, like they do with police dogs, but my dad said he needed to know the commands, and wouldn't remember them." 

"So, if you point at somebody and say 'kill,'-" 

"She won't." 

"How do you know? You ever tried it?" Trey asked, "We should try that on Friday, maybe use Xander for bait." 

Jack tapped Ben's elbow with the back of his hand, "Hey, will your dad let us shoot his gun?" 

Ben scoffed, "Not with Trey around, I know that." 

"Yeah," Trey answered, "'Cuz I'd keep it, and go knock over a liquor store and get wasted drunk." 

"You guys need to cool it," Xander spoke up, "Before you get us all suspended." 

Jack let out a sharp laugh, "Again." 

"This better be worth it, Bitch-chester, Milo and Ryan and them were gonna see if we could a hold of the mayor's wife's poodle." Trey said quietly. 

"What for?" Xander asked, suspicious. 

"A punk makeover, they're not gonna hurt it, calm down." Trey replied, as Xander relaxed somewhat, "Maybe throw it off the courthouse, see if it can fly, I dunno." 

"C'mon, man, that's just mean." Xander objected, much to Jack's amusement. 

Ben scoffed, "You get that shaky little thing five feet off the ground, and it's gonna get scared and pee all over you." 

"Yeah," Trey replied, "That's why we were gonna have Jack carry it up there. I'm not getting covered in dog piss." 

"Cuz you're too stupid to put it in a bag or something." Jack answered. 

"Yeah, good idea," Trey continued, "Just grab some old lady's purse on the way over. Might have cash and pills in it." 

* * *

Claire hadn't worked Wednesday, or replied to Alfie's message at all, but Thursday, not even having closed his garage after getting home, his phone started to ring, and he answered it in a clumsy rush. 

"Hey... What's up? You want to talk?" 

"Not really... Um... can you just come over tonight?" Claire asked. There was something in the tone of her voice that worried him. 

"Yeah... Is something wrong? I mean, aside from.. all of that." 

"I don't know." Claire's voice cracked, "I don't know what I'm doing, but I just want to see you, and this whole thing is confusing the hell out of me." 

"Anything you need. You know that... What time?" 

"Ten-thirty. Don't knock, you'll wake everyone up, just send me a text." 

"Yeah. Okay. I'll be there." Alfie replied, "I miss you." 

He was certain she was crying when she answered, "Just be here, okay?" 

"Yeah, I will." Alfie replied, leaning toward the conclusion that Claire meant to break up with him, he decided to take a chance, and say it anyway, "I love you." 

With a hint of a sob, Claire replied in kind. 

Stowing his helmet, Alfie left the garage. With Claire's response, he considered his chances of an imminent breakup dropping from sixty percent to forty, but he was still uneasy about it. 

* * *

"How's the new meds working out?" Dean asked over the corner of the table, "You were kind of foggy this morning." 

Claire nodded, "Yeah, I skipped my morning classes. Sent them an email, so, didn't really count against me. I can't be there if I can't walk up stairs without falling on my face." 

"Is that why you were on the couch when I left?" Ben asked. 

Claire nodded, still hazy, "It's still kicking my ass, yeah." 

"You didn't drive like this?" Cas asked. 

"Margaret came and picked me up... Not that it's much better." Claire answered, poking at her food. 

"I don't remember your other medication being this difficult to adjust to," Cas said softly. Even in her haze, Claire caught a guilty look on Dean's face that was quickly hidden. 

"Maybe because I already had the first one in my system while this one started kicking in." Claire replied. 

"When's your next dose?" 

Claire had her mouth full and vaguely waved toward the kitchen. 

"She took it right before dinner." Dean answered for her. 

Cas nodded, "Well, hopefully tomorrow morning will be a little easier. I know you're not a fan." 

"Yeah, I don't like being all drugged up," Claire answered, hoping to see Dean squirm, "Makes it hard to remember things." 

Dean hid his discomfort well, and gave a shrug, "I can see how that would suck." 

"Well, I got our first appointment set up, we've-" Cas said a bit more clearly, gesturing between himself and Dean, somewhat awkwardly, "decided that we're going to do premarital counseling, and apart from that, we'll also go see Dr Thompson for a few visits, just to make sure we're all, um.. heard, I guess." 

Claire started chuckling silently, and Ben began looking around, "Why is that funny?" 

"Because," Claire answered, "By the time we were done with him the first time, he looked ready to jump out the window." 

"What?" 

"Claire-" Cas tried to object. 

"He was a mess from all the crap we had going on, and-" 

"Claire, really-" 

"Just, every single time, oh, man, his face..." 

"Monday. Okay?" Cas said, looking around the table, "Four o'clock." 

Dean nodded, "Yeah, this is... should be good. I hope... um, I don't really know what this guy is going to want to discuss, but, hopefully, whatever we talk about, it'll help prevent any problems, right?" 

"That's the idea, yes." Cas said quietly. 

"Okay." Dean replied, turning to Ben, "So, I guess just go with Cas instead of taking the bus." 

* * *

Alfie parked at the front of the shop, and walked up the gravel road in the darkness. Dean had forgotten the yard lights again, and Bobby's old house stood alone and dark, a lifeless reminder of a dead friend. 

Alfie took a moment, staring at it, the black windows almost looked like dark holes in the moonlight. He considered sitting on the porch for a moment, the same place where he'd waited, holding Bobby's cold hand until the county officials had arrived. 

But Claire was expecting him, and he shook it off, letting it wait for another day. 

He got to the front porch, sending her the text as he promised he would, and leaned against the rail to wait. 

The heavy door slid open, and Claire moved silently through it, pulling it shut behind her to just a crack. 

Alfie didn't move. He wanted to hold her, talk to her, try to explain, but he knew what was likely going on in her mind, and he'd gotten used to the idea that she considered too much movement to be threatening when she was upset. 

He kept his hands on the rail, and waited as she slowly came closer, putting her arms around his waist, settling her face against his shoulder before he wrapped around her, silently blaming himself for her pain. 

"Sorry I freaked out at you." she whispered. 

Alfie shook his head, "Not your fault... I should have known that wasn't you, and if I had, nothing would have happened. I mean that... I'm sorry." 

"What do you mean, 'that wasn't me?'" 

"I don't... I dunno how to explain it... I don't want to upset you." 

"Alfie-" 

"Not my decision, right... Um... Okay, obviously you... you got dressed up, uh, like you did, because... Hell, I don't know. But the, um... The leg things-" 

"Yeah?" 

"Sorry, hang on," Alfie replied, shifting her toward his side, "Okay, so, uh... I know you were the one who was drugged up, but the stuff you were doing, saying... I completely lost my ability to think straight. I would have done anything you wanted at that point, okay? So, you said..." 

"Just tell me. I won't get mad." 

"You..." Alfie's voice dropped to an even quieter whisper, as he avoided looking at her, "You said that you wanted.. my mouth all over you. Then... Okay, so I'm going to hell for this, but I'm trying really hard not to think about it too much, okay? You, uh... you said you wanted me too get you really worked up and then bite down a little." 

Claire's eyes went wide, not that Alfie would have seen it, as she recognized her own more secretive thoughts in his words. 

He felt her breathing quicken, and expecting to be pushed away soon, he gave her a squeeze. 

"I'm sorry." Claire said quietly, "I guess I was acting like a total slut." 

"No... I mean, define slut... You weren't looking to sleep with anyone who was around, you were just... I mean, you can't be slutty shut in a room with someone you've been in a relationship with for two years." 

"Fine. What would you call it?" 

"Insanely hot sex kitten." Alfie replied quietly. Realizing Claire was giving him a look, he glanced down, and shrugged, "Sorry... it's true, though, just... fuck... Okay, that was like... You were completely comfortable with... everything. I just... Maybe I was too hopeful that was real, and then you were on the floor, everything clicked, and it went from best night of my life to, well, scared you were gonna die." 

"You were still dressed when you got in the bed." Claire said quietly. 

"Yeah." 

"You never do that." 

"Yeah, but you, um..." 

"You were having a hard time controlling yourself." 

"It's not like that. I stopped." 

"Were you still turned on when you got in the bed with me?" 

"Claire, I'm trying-" 

"Answer the damn question." 

"Yeah. Okay? You're hot. Hotter than hell. Which is where I'm going, because I'm weak." 

"You stopped me from touching you." 

"What?" Alfie asked blankly. 

"In the video, you told me to stop, and you pulled my arm out of the blanket." 

Alfie looked confused for a moment before he remembered. 

"So, maybe you're not going to hell. You didn't get up and handle it in the bathroom, either." 

"Um... Not until the next morning." 

Claire shrugged, "Okay, I'm good, I don't think I wanna know anymore, just... did I really put my panties in your jacket pocket?" 

"Those are in a drawer next to my bed... I almost brought those back over here, but, um..." 

"Didn't want to upset me." 

"Yeah." 

Claire pulled him toward the door, "Can we just go upstairs for a bit? Watch a movie or something? It's been a really bad week." 

"Anything you want." Alfie replied, staying close. 

* * *


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Anybody feel like screaming at a couple of characters? 'Omfgwhatareyoudoing!?' Just me? Yeah.
> 
> Also, next chapter is going to be rough, so... there's that. 
> 
> Thanks for reading. Got some awful stuff going on right now, slowing my progress, but things are picking up in the story, at least. FW)

* * *

Kevin let himself in out of habit, but found Alfie's bedroom door standing wide open, and went for the pool. 

Margaret was doing laps back and forth, less hindered by the lack of depth in the shallow end than he would've been, due to her height. 

"You're not supposed to swim alone, genious." Kevin called, dropping onto one of the nearby loungers. 

"I'm fine. Go away." 

"Right, like I'm gonna leave a pregnant girl to drown herself." 

"You narrow that list down?" 

"Yeah, a bit. I don't like Devon or Alec." 

"Alec Guinness was the only Obi-Wan I'll ever accept." Margaret answered. 

"Yeah, well, I'd take the name Obi-Wan over Alec." 

"Okay. Let's do that. Michael Obi-Wan Tran... Or Danes." Margaret replied, grabbing the edge of the pool, out of breath. 

"You're serious?... How would he ever live that down if anyone found out?" 

Margaret shrugged, trying to catch her breath, "Kirk's 'T.' was for Tiberious, and he turned out awesome." 

"Except that he was a womanizing asshole." 

"James Bond was worse." 

"Yeah, well, that doesn't make it any better." 

"Okay. Who's your biggest girl-power hero?" 

"Uh... why?" 

"Last name might work. So, what'da'ya'got? Where did you get your biggest fix with the whole gender equality thing? Susan B. Anthony? Ruth Bader Ginsburg?" 

"Angelou." 

"What?" Margaret's tone was suddenly less than impressed. 

"Maya Angelou." 

"Yeah, but that doesn't work with Michael." Margaret argued, "I'm having trouble breathing, can you help?" 

Kevin got up and went to the edge of the pool, taking hold of her hand and pulling her up to sit on the side, "It totally works. Normal first name, girl-power middle name, put them together, you get your favorite Ninja Turtle." 

"Shut up." 

"So, why are you out here doing the back and forth thing?" 

"Trying to wear myself out." 

"I almost drowned out here, you should have somebody with you." 

"Yeah, but I'm not stupid enough to get blackout drunk first." Margaret answered, still trying to catch her breath. 

"Are you sure you're okay?" 

"Yeah, just your kid taking up space where my lungs want to be. Totally fine." Margaret said, standing up and heading for her towel. 

She couldn't miss the worried look on Kevin's face when she turned around, or that it was mixed with a look at her swimsuit. 

"Yeah. I'm turning into a big fat cow. Fuck off." 

"I wasn't gonna say that." Kevin replied softly, "But, since I guess you haven't heard it from anyone else, very... curvy. Y'know, as a friend." 

"I thought we couldn't be friends." 

"You said you couldn't be just-friends, I can be just-friends... You're not trying to stay down at an unhealthy weight for pregnancy, are you? Because I have heard some crazy crap, it's not good for the baby, but it can really screw up the mom's health. And, y'know, I can't breastfeed, so, he's gonna need you." 

"Actually my weight is a little low. The doctor said it's probably fine because I'm small to start with... probably gonna make for some horrendous stretch marks, though. Then I'll have a whole bunch of weird, stretched out skin, so, y'know, really sexy." 

"You're wearing yourself out because you're still having trouble with the other thing. Too horny to sleep, right?" 

Margaret rolled her eyes, "So what?" 

"How bad is it?" 

"None of your business." Margaret replied, wrapping her towel around herself and starting back into the house. 

"You know some doctors say heavy smokers should cut back if they get pregnant, but that quitting also might be worse because of the amount of stress involved, stress is bad for the baby." 

"I don't smoke." 

"But you're stressed out. If I was putting money on it, I'd guess it's been at least two weeks." Kevin said, following her inside. 

Margaret made for her room, stopping in the doorway as Kevin started to follow her in, "Kev, we're not having this discussion. I'm gonna go wash off the pool water, and find my most boner-killing jammies-" Kevin scoffed in response, "And then, if you're still here, you can try to convince me to name our precious little prince after a hero on the half-shell while I binge on ice cream." 

"You're thinking about it right now, aren't you?" 

"I'm not." 

"Yeah, you are, I know you. And I know how you get when you hit that wall where it's been too long." Kevin could see past the irritated look she was giving him, "Look, just... Lemme give you a back rub, you'll feel a little better. I know you're miserable." 

Margaret narrowed her eyes, "I'm fine." 

Kevin waited until she closed the door in his face and went back to the living room. 

* * *

Alfie hurried through the upstairs, carefully staying as silent as he could as he bolted past Ben's door. 

He knocked quickly on the last door from the stairs, still trying to be quiet, but his stomach lurched when the door swung open, and Dean's face quickly became enraged. 

"I know! I know! Look, we were just watching a movie, but something is really wrong with her." Alfie hissed in a hurry. 

Dean slipped out the door in his pajama pants, passing Alfie, and going straight to Claire's bedroom. 

She was laying on her back, still enough that he had trouble telling whether she was breathing or not until he was standing over her, and her eyes locked onto his face. 

"Claire?... You awake right now?" Dean asked, watching as her eyes darted directly to Alfie, and back to Dean, "Shit... where's her new medication?" 

Dean scooped her legs off the bed and sat her up, her body refusing to cooperate. 

"She just took it twenty minutes ago." Alfie replied, taking the bottle from the top shelf of her desk. 

"Did you actually see her take it, or did she just move the bottle?" Dean snapped. 

"She took it. She dumped out two, had to put one back. She always takes it right before bed." 

"Go wake up Cas, and tell him to call the nurse line, take the bottle with you." 

"Side effects?" 

"No, I watched her take one before dinner. It's a new prescription, she's been in a fog all day, could've forgotten she already took it... Move your ass!" Dean growled. 

Dean shook Claire gently, "C'mon, kid, you gotta try to snap out of this." 

A moment later, Cas was at his side, and he pulled Claire up to stand, and passed her to Cas, reaching for the phone he held. 

He took the pill bottle from Alfie, moving out into the hall as Cas tried to get Claire to respond. 

"Okay, honest to God truth, and I won't kill you. Any, and I mean any at all, chance that this could be a PTSD reaction? Watching something violent, touched anything?" Dean asked quickly as he searched for, and began to dial the emergency number on the card that had been in Cas' hand as he had passed him the phone. 

"No. I mean, nothing I know of. And I think I've got all her, y'know, triggers or whatever, memorized. I haven't set her off in ages, and nothing was happening." Alfie replied quickly. 

"Wait downstairs, but don't run off. I know where you live." Dean said, jerking his head toward the staircase as the phone clicked over to a nurse. 

Dean spoke quickly as he snatched a small black velvet lined jewelry tray from the top of Claire's dresser, dumping it out, and pouring out the pills from the bottle into the tray, "Yeah, my daughter is kind of catatonic. She's nineteen, she's on meds for insomnia, once a day dose, just found out she took a second one." 

Dean was quickly grouping the pills into fives to count faster, but paused to read off the name of the medication and the dose. "Yeah, well, two that we know of, I saw her take one before dinner about three hours ago, and her boyfriend says she took another twenty minutes ago. I'm counting to see if those were the only two... I got fifty-seven out of sixty. One she took last night, so it was just the two... Yeah, I'm sure... twenty-five milligrams... This is a low dose? So people usually get fifty milligrams?... No, I didn't know it came in a seventy-five... Okay, what about the side effects, can it do this?" 

Dean looked over to where Cas was still holding Claire upright, "Could be sleep paralysis. She got any history of that?" 

"She hasn't mentioned it." Cas replied. 

"The nurse is saying to let her sleep it off, and take her in first thing when she wakes up. She only took as much as the normal dose for this stuff, and she's still getting used to it." 

Dean stepped closer, taking Claire's hand, keeping the phone to his ear, "Claire, try to make a fist, or move your fingers." 

* * *

Kevin was sprawled somewhat and channel surfing when Margaret returned, hopping over the low back of the couch with a large container of ice cream and a spoon, as she'd predicted. 

Unfortunately, the pajamas she'd put on were a set he found particularly adorable, not that he'd ever brought it up. Fluffy white bottoms covered in brightly-colored teddy bears, which were incredibly soft to the touch, as he knew from experience, and a thin white top that fit over her breasts like a second skin. 

"So... Ninja Turtles..." Margaret started. 

"Yeah?" 

"Not cool." 

"Bullshit. You said you wanted to grow up the marry Casey Jones from the first movie." 

"I did. Something about that hockey stick." 

"Either way, the initials spell something out, so that's cool." Kevin continued to flip through the channels, never settling on one. 

"Still, a Ninja Turtle. I can't." 

"Like you were never gonna call him Mikey?" 

Margaret shrugged, "It's not like a nickname is something you get saddled with for life. He'll probably be just Mike when he's older." 

"Fine. Pick a cooler turtle, and we'll name him after that one." Kevin replied, glancing at the open container of ice cream, "Is that deep-fried onions in there with the ice cream?" 

"Yeah. It's really good." 

"Okay..." 

"Might be better with ketchup." 

Kevin stifled a gag at the thought, as Margaret got up and went back to the kitchen. He heard a disgusted noise a moment later. 

"Nope. I was wrong, that was nasty." 

Kevin chuckled as he heard her get a glass of milk to get rid of the taste. 

Margaret came back to lean on the back of the couch, "So, are you gonna get a crib for at your house?" 

"Not right away. A pack and play with a bassinet insert should be fine for a while. Definitely going to need a swing and a bouncy seat, though." 

Margaret nodded and stepped back, holding onto the couch for balance as she stretched, "That should work... I think he's waking up." 

"Is he moving a lot?" 

"Yep." Margaret replied, her voice slightly strained, "Just kicked pretty hard, too." 

Kevin turned around to kneel on the couch as Margaret stood up, and he reached for her belly. 

"Michael," Kevin addressed her stomach sternly, "I'm not gonna put up with this kind of violence. Quit kicking your mother." 

A strong kick landed against his fingers, as if in reply. 

"Okay, son, you're done. Go to your womb." 

Margaret started laughing hard enough that Kevin couldn't distinguish the baby's movement from Margaret's. 

Old habits took over, and Kevin put an arm around her and carefully pulled her over the back of the couch as he turned around, her back landing across his lap, settling his hand just under her navel. 

He felt another movement below his hand, "Mike, go to sleep. It's bedtime... Bet I'm gonna be saying that a lot..." 

"Yeah, well, he's gonna be used to my voice, but he should get used to yours too." Margaret replied. 

Kevin nodded, "Okay... Mike, listen up... You need to get used to some things. First off, no matter what your mom has been feeding you, ice cream is not a food group. I know, we're working on that. Unfortunately, you're going to be born addicted to cheese, which will suck, because you can't have dairy until later... Crap, I guess I have to get you some books... We better plan on starting the whole reading thing early, you're gonna need that... and... I'm sure I'm gonna find some way to screw up this whole thing..." 

Margaret looked up at him as his tone fell, and shook her head, "No you won't. You'll be a good dad." 

"I have no idea what I'm doing." 

"That's how everybody starts out." 

"Yeah, but if I screw it up, I ruin his life." 

"Is your life ruined?... Are you less of a man because you were raised by a single mom?" 

Kevin shrugged, "That actually makes more of a case on why I shouldn't be involved... Because what if I'm only not a monster because he left?" 

"Don't... Don't leave me alone in this. I can't do this by myself." Margaret replied, emotion taking over. 

"I could never do that, but, it still makes me wonder if me being around is really what's best for him." 

Margaret pushed herself up to sit sideways on his lap and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, "I'm scared, too... But you'll figure it out, and you'll be a great dad." 

"All I've got to go on for an example is a vague memory of the guy responsible for my sister's death. It's not a lot to go on." 

"You're not like him... And, you actually have experience taking care of kids, more than me, even. You care. It's completely different." 

Margaret was certain that Kevin was wiping his eyes where she wouldn't see it, over her shoulder. 

"Shit... I'm supposed to be coming over here to take care of you, not the other way around." Kevin muttered. 

"You didn't think this was going to be easy, did you?" 

"No... But I guess we have the same chance at not screwing this up that everybody else has." Kevin said softly. 

Margaret pulled back to look at his face, "You're really brave, Kev." 

Kevin leaned in closer, and kissed her softly. 

* * *

Dean thumped his way down the staircase, his eyes settling on Alfie, "You wanna tell me why you're here in the first case?" 

"She called me." 

"Yeah? Just figured she'd sneak her boyfriend in, huh? There's a kid here, now, and she'll get reminded of that later, but you..." 

"She's dealing with Houston, okay?" Alfie replied, trying to keep his voicw down, "Now, you told me she was gonna have a rough time with that, but you have no idea, all right? So she asked me to come over, we talked it out on the front porch, and she didn't want me to leave yet." 

"Nobody was stopping you." Dean growled. 

"Is she okay?" 

"It was sleep paralysis, she came out of it. Cas is sitting with her in case she goes back into it, but, basically she's fine." 

"What about the pills?" 

"They're kicking her ass, but not enough to hurt her. Why are you still here?" 

Alfie shrugged, "You told me not to run off." 

"Great, yeah, good at following orders. Not so much with the whole, y'know, self-preservation thing." 

Alfie was about to respond, but quiet footsteps turned their attention to the stairs. 

Cas appeared, looking far worse for wear, "She's asleep... All the way asleep, this time. Dean, you were right about the, uh, the panic, hallucination thing. She thought you were some kind of shadow trying to kill her. But, it's fine now." 

"Man, she is having a rough week." Alfie muttered. 

A look of intense guilt crossed Dean’s face, but Cas didn't catch it as he'd turned to Alfie, "She is. Thankfully, if she had been dealing with a more dangerous overdose, it would have been early enough to catch it in time, and while I can't agree with you sneaking in, you did the right thing." 

"That's it?" Dean asked. 

Cas gave him a confused look, "What?" 

"You're not going to threaten him?" 

"He's done nothing wrong." 

"You better run that by me again, because I'm pretty sure I can come up with a few." 

Cas gestured up the stairs, "Claire is an adult. She let him into the house, he didn't break in, and if he-" 

"She's been drugged up all day. Not exactly prime judgement, there." 

"Dean, if he deserved to have his ass kicked, Claire is perfectly capable of it." 

"I should go..." Alfie said quietly. 

"Took you long enough." Dean replied, gesturing to the door. 

Cas, busy with other thoughts, simply nodded his agreement. 

Dean waited until the door closed, "Are you kidding me? That jackass-" 

"That jackass loves and respects my daughter." 

"What kind of example is this going to set for Ben?" Dean argued. 

"Assuming he's like the majority of the human population, it could set an example of a healthy hetero relationship." 

"Letting some kid sneak in, in the middle of the night? She's still a teenager, Cas!" 

"And she meant to move in with him over the summer." 

"So that's what this is? You're going to put up with him sneaking in, to keep her here?... Because we just have to have everybody under one roof, right? Him, too?... And next thing we know, Ben starts complaining about them not keeping it down. She might be an adult to the rest of the world, but how is that supposed to work here? Where she's one of the kids?" 

Cas looked him in the eye, "My daughter has had a rough life, and I am trying to give her the time to branch out into adulthood at a healthy pace. One thing at a time. She's not bringing drugs home, she's not throwing ridiculous parties, or exposing Ben to unhealthy behavior." 

"Well, one thing's for sure, you were damn right about getting all of us into therapy." Dean grumbled, heading for the stairs. 

* * *

Kevin glanced at the door, just as his mind began to lose the fight to his body, "Shit, not here." 

Margaret followed his gaze before scrambling off his lap. Kevin was off the couch before she had time to turn around, reaching for her hips, completely unfased as her tiny frame came off the ground, wrapping her legs around his waist. Somewhere in the heated flurry of motion Kevin mumbled a question she'd heard enough times to comprehend. 

"Why? You think you're gonna knock me up further?" she asked, "Um, unless you were with someone after we split-" 

"There's never been anybody but you." 

"Then we don't need it." 

Kevin felt himself twitch at the thought, "You're serious?" 

"I'm not gonna get any pregnanter." 

Seeing no reason to object, only a nagging feeling at the back of his mind that he'd forgotten something very important, Kevin was quickly closing her door behind them, only vaguely aware that hard landings were absolutely not okay, got onto the bed carefully, giving the back of her thigh a firm squeeze through the fluffy fabric, giving a gentle grind against her as she tugged at the edge of his shirt. 

Kevin got up onto his knees to pull his shirt off, which was apparently a sight Margaret had missed, because he knew that lip-bite, the one that usually meant she was holding back. 

He bent at the hips, and went back to her neck, his hands sliding up the back of her shirt, only to peel it off. Even though he'd become a bit more familiar with her changing shape, seeing it in the curve of her flesh made it more real to him. 

Margaret began tugging his belt free, a fire in her eyes that he'd missed dearly, something that spurred him on, knowing how badly she wanted him, intensifying his own reaction to being needed. It was a familiar dance where their emotions would feed off each other's reactions, the rest of the world be damned. 

He looked down, where his hands rested on her unfairly plush pajama pants, and wondered in an uncontrolled thought what it would be like to sleep with her in a giant pile of the soft, fluffy fabric before a tiny sound caught in the back of her throat as his hands wandered, and he pulled them gently from her legs. 

Finding her completely bare beneath them, not a surprise to Kevin, who knew her habits, he was about to stroke his hands up her legs, but she caught his hands and pulled him back over her in an instant. 

"Right now?" he asked. 

"Yeah." Margaret replied, shoving his jeans lower. 

Kevin freed himself from his clothing at her insistence, and aligned himself by instinct, finding her already soaked and desperate for him. He kissed her gently as he slowly slid inside, filling her. Her fingers curled around the back of his upper arm and his neck as she shook slightly with a pleasured whimper. 

He wanted to wait, to give himself a moment just to feel and understand the moisture and texture uninhibited, something they'd never done before, but she rocked hard against him, "Kev!... Ohhh, god. Just- mnn!" 

"Already?" 

Margaret rocked her hips again, trying to get him to move, her breathing coming hard and fast, "Please!" 

Kevin quickly started at a fast pace, and almost immediately she curled around him, tensing, tightening, and gave several sharp gasps as her body stroked at him of it's own accord. 

He slowed to a stop, still deep within her, and gently brushed her unruly hair away from her face, "Hey..." 

"Keep going?" Margaret asked in a wistful tone. 

Kevin kissed her again and resumed his movement, this time slower, "So, you were really needing it." 

"...So bad... Four weeks...maybe?..." 

"You should have said something." 

"Don't wanna talk about it right now." Margaret replied through a broken moan, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, and pulling him close against her. 

After a few more gentle thrusts, Kevin pressed his hands down into the mattress as she clung to him tightly, lifting her off the bed. He wrapped one arm below her back, crossing her body and clutching the opposite hip, and with the other, he grasped the top of the headboard. Her back was only inches off the bed, but it added an angle and gravity that had occasionally intensified their many times together before, and this time it did no less. 

He continued to move, building speed as she held onto him tightly, her voice giving quiet reminders of how he felt inside of her every few thrusts. He kept going at a steady pace until his arms started to go sore. 

"Margaret..." Kevin asked quietly as he continued to thrust into her, "Hey... in or out?" 

Lost in a world of physical sensations, Margaret was at a loss, "What?" 

"...close..." 

"Uh..." 

"Really... babe..." 

"In... harder!" 

Kevin carefully let go, for a moment holding all their weight on his knees before sinking into the bed with her, still in full motion, speeding up. She flexed around him once more in a choked scream as her wet flesh seized, pulling at him again, this time weaker, but for her, an even more fulfilling reaction, just before his entire body jolted as he exploded within her. 

"Holy shit, that was hot..." Kevin said, weakly, shaking slightly as he looked for her face again, "You okay? ..Not too rough?" 

"I feel amazing... don't move." Margaret answered in a whisper, giving his hips a gentle squeeze with her thighs, "...I felt it when you came." 

"Yeah?" 

"Felt good... Hot like drinking cocoa." she said with a hint of a laugh, but her endorphin high was quickly fading, "Kev, is this gonna happen again?" 

Kevin slowly started to disentangle from her, almost one limb at a time, muttering as he did, "Wouldn't be much of a man if I wasn't taking care of the woman having my baby.. at least with me, you know where I've been... so... yeah, you need it, let me know." 

"But that's it, isn't it? ...So, we're having a kid, fucking, and you still love me, but we can't be together? Why?" 

Kevin pulled his jeans up as he got off the bed, "Mags, that's different." 

"I know I hurt you, but I also know you understand why... and it hurt me, too, but it worked... You're scared to trust me again." 

Kevin sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling his shirt back on, "When something nearly kills you, chancing it a second time is just stupid." 

Margaret nodded, "If that's how bad it was, how much it hurt you, there's only two ways this can go. Either you just love so deeply that the same pain is going to be a risk with anyone you love, or you're never going love anyone as much as me, which wouldn't be fair to them or to you." 

Part of him knew she was right, and it was most likely the second option, but the rest of him, the part that was still running on animalistic emotion wanted to scream at her that she'd made her choice, and had to live with it. He turned to look at her and found what he felt was honest contrition in her eyes. 

He leaned in close and poured every ounce of passion he had left from the evening into one long, deep kiss, then got up and left without another word. 

* * *


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Dealing with some health issues, which included a trip to the emergency room. I would have spent those 4 hours working on this, but my energy was shot. It seems I have a downright unusually healthy heart, just can't figure out why my pulse is incredibly high for no reason.
> 
> So... Um... WARNING!... y'all, she told him so. And sadly, she was right. A kid gets hurt. Blood. Panic. Scary stuff.
> 
> Thanks for reading, love you all! FW)

* * *

Alfie pulled into the driveway and began putting his bike away in the garage when Kevin came around the corner from the front door. 

"Hey. Everything okay? She's not crying and bingewatching gardening shows again?" 

"No, she's fine." Kevin said quietly, changing course to move into the garage. 

With a quick look at Kevin's now visible and very rumpled clothing, Alfie's tone changed immediately, "Did you guys get back together?" 

"Um, no." 

"Fucking hell. Tell me you didn't." 

"What?" Kevin asked. 

"Your shirt's on backwards and your fly's down. So, is this arrangement Margaret's idea, or do you need your ass handed to you?" Alfie asked firmly. 

"You don't know shit about what's going on." 

"I know you're coming over to my house to sleep with your _not_ -girlfriend who's pregnant with your kid, and has got exactly you, me, and Claire that she feels like she can lean on, and wants to patch shit up with you, despite you doing every possible thing to get back with her except forgiving her, and admitting that it is exactly what you want. And I know that she walked away from her whole entire family over this baby, and it goes a lot deeper than that, but she hasn't told you that part because she doesn't want to use guilt to get you back." Alfie replied. 

"What the hell does that mean?" 

Alfie shook his head, "Not a damn thing. Go home, Kevin." 

"You know what? You'd get this if Claire ever fucked over your entire life. But she actually has a heart, okay? So you have no clue about this kind of betrayal." 

"Claire has got a lot of problems that are none of your goddamn business, but you're gonna leave her out of this. Fact is, Margaret is an open book, and she had to pick between losing everything, and bringing your child into the world, and all I've seen from you since she made that choice looks like a total lack of respect for her. So, you really want to throw 'heartless' out there?" 

"So you're taking her side? Or are you taking the get-back-together side since one of your parents was always in the process of leaving the other so much it fucked you up?" 

Alfie shook his head, seething with anger, "Go home. Cry about it to your mother. Write some shitty emo song, and then remember that her entire family has cut her out, okay? Then, when you finally get the whole story, remember I told you so." 

"Yeah, great. Just go bend over backward and replace 'em. Obviously she doesn't need 'em, or me, I mean, she's got you buying her a damn car, offering to pay her tuition, and Claire to have whatever emotional chats and unload on, meanwhile I'm just bringing her whatever weird food she wants in the middle of the night and driving her into the next town for something she didn't even end up getting. I am busting my ass doing everything she'll let me do, but I have to draw a line somewhere." 

"Yeah? Did you draw that line with your dick?" 

"Shut up. That's between me and her." 

"Is it? Because if she's crying about it tomorrow-" 

"She's crying about everything, she cried because she doesn't like orange shoelaces a couple days ago, okay? But just because she's living here doesn't mean you've got any say in what goes on between me and her." 

"You said you were done. If you're done, you need to stay done. She's got other things to worry about, not some kind of back and forth mind games. So either take her back, or fuck off." 

"Does Claire know you're getting all bitchy about this?" Kevin asked. 

"She will when I tell her. But unlike me, she might actually smack you around for messing with somebody with bi-polar hormones." 

"Right, you won't, because you got your balls in how many purses, now?" 

Alfie shook his head and went inside, slapping the button for the garage door as he went in, forcing Kevin to leave the garage quickly. 

* * *

Friday, in the early evening, Ben, Jack, Xander, and Trey had been tearing around the junkyard for several hours, and were starting to wind down. 

Claire had made a suggestion about running them all down with a forklift, but had also stopped them at one point and sent them inside for water. Cas had stopped in at the shop to leave his car for an oil change and find out from Dean whether Ben's friends were going to be staying for dinner. 

Claire had gone out to pull a window from an older Mustang for a buyer coming in Saturday, and three of the boys had run right past her. 

On the top of the second highest stack in the yard, five cars up, during a break in their game, Ben was showing the other boys how he'd set up in the back of an old jeep further away and had Jack run around a corner and drawn out the other two as Ben had picked them both off. 

"Nice." Trey said with a chuckle, "Didn't even see you until you got up, how did you know we were going after Jack?" 

"I was watching the shadows under the cars." 

Xander wiped sweat from his brow and took a look over the side of the car, "How do we get down?" 

In response, Trey dropped to the ground off the edge, and turned around, "C'mon, let's get one more round in!" 

Jack jumped off the edge after him, but with a rougher landing, and got up, limping slightly. 

"That's stupid, guys. I'm climbing down." Ben called, moving back to the route he'd used climbing up. 

"Hey, Xander, don't be a wimp." Trey called up. 

Claire, carrying the Mustang window, was about to coming around the corner as Jack suddenly yelled, startling her, "Don't be a pussy, jump!" 

Claire barely bumped the corner of the window against a large, hollow piece of metal, which made an unusually loud noise, startling Xander, who was just standing upright to back up from the edge and follow Ben down safely. 

Ben was half way to the ground and saw Xander fall, striking his forehead against a side mirror as he went, and landed face down, not fifteen feet from Claire. 

She dropped the window and the bag of tools, running straight for Xander, who wasn't moving. 

Blood seemed to be pouring from his wound, and Claire was already screaming for Dean as she tried to apply pressure, not sure where the edges of the wound were, obscured by red liquid and matted dark brown hair. 

In a storm of motion that seemed to come all at once, first she was concerned that she had no help, looking up to Jack and Trey, frozen in place, yelling at them to get help, and call an ambulance, then two large, calloused hands were pulling hers away, and two more guiding her by the upper arms to stand and back up. 

She was certain that somewhere below her she had feet on the ground, but everything else was a blur. 

Dean was crouched next to the unconscious child, Cas was opening the first aid kit with one hand and dialing on his phone with the other. 

Ivan had come over to her at some point, shaking her by the shoulder and asking what had happened, but all it took was one look at her bloodied hands, and she'd lost the will to explain. 

Her father was calling to her, and looking up, it snapped her out of it. 

"Claire!" Cas said clearly, "Take the boys back to the auto shop, and call their parents to pick them up." 

She nodded, "Yeah. Got it." 

"When the ambulance gets here, have someone direct them in. They're already on the way." 

Claire nodded again, and ignoring the blood, turned to the three boys in front of her, getting Ivan's help to herd them back to the large metal building. 

"Hey, Xander?... Buddy, can you hear me?" Dean asked, "We got any sterile saline in there?" 

"I don't see any." Cas replied, turning his attention back to the phone, "Yes, he fell, and he's bleeding from his head... Twelve or thirteen, I believe... Yes, county road one-twenty-one, the junkyard at Singer Automotive... No, he's not conscious." 

* * *

Ivan opened the door before Claire could get to it, and motioned toward the bathroom, "Go on, I'm sure they can call without you." 

Claire moved into the tiny bathroom and began scrubbing furiously, trying to get rid of the blood as Ivan set the phone to dial out, and had Jack call his parents. 

The skin on her hands still felt strange, and she hoped it was just the hot water that left them looking, to her eyes, red. 

She looked down at her coveralls only to find she'd wiped her hands on the fabric at some point, and quickly stripped out of them, wadding them up before she came out. 

Ivan was looking out the door, but he couldn't hear the ambulance yet. Claire found herself staring blankly at Ben, who was also staring, however it was at the floor. 

As Jack set the phone down, Ivan motioned Trey to the desk, and pressed the button to open the line again, then had Trey dial his number. 

"I was supposed to call." Claire muttered. 

"Don't worry about it. The important thing is getting their parents on the way to come get them." Ivan answered. 

Claire nodded, went for the hallway, and came out into the garage, still unsure what she was doing. 

"Lucas, go wait at the gate, when the ambulance gets here, take it past the stack with the Jeep on it, one of the kids got hurt, we need it as close as possible. Alfie, we've got parents coming, go hang out by the gate to make sure they don't block the emergency vehicles in or out. Randy, go see if Dean needs anything we can bring him. Where's Margaret?" 

"She's off today." Claire wasn't sure who had spoken, possibly even herself. 

"Right... get to it. I'll be in the office with the kids." 

The ambulance arrived first, and Lucas went straight for it, waving them to follow him, and took off at a jog toward the spot where Dean was still on the ground, holding a large chunk of what used to be white gauze to Xander's head, and Cas quickly scooped up the debris from everything that had come out of the first aid kit and moved back, making room for the paramedics. 

* * *

Trey had been picked up before the ambulance had even left, and Cas watched as the ambulance pulled out of the yard, already having called Xander's mother on Sheriff Mills' advice. 

She'd relayed that her car didn't run, and the sheriff had radioed in to have a deputy pick her up to get her to the hospital. 

Sheriff Mills had gotten a quick statement from Claire and left, and Cas, at a loss for words, waited as Claire approached the building at the same slow pace she'd taken since he'd come upon her barking orders at the fear stricken boys. 

The creak of the heavy door behind him got his attention, and Ben marched out, clearly upset, a look of rage on his face despite the tears interrupting the dirt he'd accumulated through the afternoon's intense play. 

Ben's direction had clearly been set for the road, at an angle that delineated his intent to get home. 

The door swung open again and Jack rushed out, storming after Ben, yelling, "That's crap and you know it! If he did jump, he wouldn't've hit that mirror with his head!" 

Ben rounded on him, shoving him hard in the chest with both hands, nearly knocking Jack over, "You told him to jump! You called him a pussy!" 

Jack swung a fist at Ben's face, barely grazing him, but Ben lunged, grappling Jack to the ground, one hand on Jack's throat, the other coming back to slug him in the jaw as Claire, closer to them, darted forward. 

Cas moved quickly, and as Claire threw her arms around Ben, giving a heavy pull, she managed to wrangle him backwards as Jack started to get up, heading for Ben again. Cas caught Jack, holding him back, and nodded to the spot where Claire and Ben had landed, and Claire was refusing to let go. 

"Ben, Claire, head home. I'll wait with Jack until his parents get here." Cas said firmly, pulling Jack back to the office door, "Everybody's having a rough time, we'll sort this out later." 

Ben gave another hard struggle and Claire let go, not moving right away as Ben got to his feet. The door behind Cas opened once more and he caught a look he didn't like on Claire's face before he turned his head to find Dean right behind him. 

Ben offered Claire a somewhat begrudged hand up from the ground, easily pulling her to her feet and started for home, not far ahead of her as Cas ushered Jack back inside. 

"Am I in trouble?" Jack asked, flopping onto the sofa below the window. 

Cas shook his head, taking a seat on one of the folding chairs, "It was an accident. Some trash-talk is to be expected in games like that. It wasn't a good idea to jump, but it seems that he slipped. That's not your fault, Jack." 

"What about what I called him?" 

"We're not at school. I'm well aware that young people favor rough language, especially when they think adults aren't around." 

Jack stared at his frayed shoelaces and looked around. After a moment's reflection, he spoke quietly, "It didn't think he was gonna get hurt." 

* * *

Cas only realized on his walk back to the house that he had gotten some blood on his shirt in the joint effort to stem the bleeding. It wasn't as bad as the amount Dean had been nearly drenched with, or Claire's coveralls, but it was very visible on his white shirt, and he supposed it had thrown off Don Lytton when he'd arrived for Jack. 

He went up the front steps and let himself in quietly, only to find Claire sitting on the couch with her arms around Ben's shaking shoulders, and Nick on Ben's other side, as much in his lap as any large dog could manage. 

Claire looked up at him with a face that had seemed to take on another ten years in the course of the afternoon, but she said nothing. 

It occurred to him quickly that it was unlikely that Jack or Trey had any practical understanding of death, not in the way Ben had already experienced, having found his mother's body already cold, alone, and at such a tender age. He couldn't imagine how those fifteen minutes before Dean's arrival, possibly even longer before he'd made the phone call, had passed for the boy. 

Cas settled a hand into a firm squeeze on Ben's shoulder, "Try to stay hopeful... Might just be a concussion and a few stitches." 

"Is Xander gonna die?" Ben asked in a halting voice. 

Cas shook his head, "I don't know what's going to happen. I just know he was still breathing when they put him in the ambulance." 

He thought Claire had been staring into space, but with a small motion from the window she made a quick march to the front door, throwing it open and continuing down the steps as Dean entered the front yard from the driveway. 

"I told you." Claire said in a harsh voice, "How many times did I tell you? And you let them run around out there anyway!" 

"This wasn't supposed to happen." Dean said defensively. 

"But it did! And you knew it could, or a million other things, and you acted like it was no big deal!" Claire yelled. 

"It wasn't supposed to be! It was an accident!" Dean yelled back in reply, "Could've happened out here in a tree, too!" 

"Bullshit! Every bit of blood that kid lost is your fault! You knew playing in a fucking junkyard wasn't safe!... I'm done. No more kids in the junkyard." 

"Yeah? Did you forget who's running the place?" 

"I don't give a shit who's running the place, because with just a couple of phone calls, I can get the entire thing shut down. So, no more kids in the goddamn junkyard!" 

Dean shifted his stance in anger, "Is that right? Is that what they're teaching you in college? How to threaten people to get your way?" 

"No," Claire said, scoffing, "They're teaching me how not to get sued for wrongful death and unsafe business practices. You could learn a thing or two." 

"And you think you know better than me because of this?" 

"I know I know better than you, this is the proof! How many times did I warn you this was gonna happen?" 

"It was an accident!" Dean yelled, both of them oblivious to Ben standing on the porch, although Dean was aware of Cas coming up behind Claire, habitually concerned anytime she was angry enough to yell, "Why the hell are you screaming at me?" 

"Because with all the blood, until you two shoved me out of the way and I saw him standing with the other kids, I didn't know it wasn't Ben!" 

The heated argument went silent immediately, and it was obvious to Dean that Claire was fighting back tears. 

Dean's reaction softened immediately realizing what was actually driving Claire's reaction. He was about to try to speak again, to calm her, to come to some sort of agreement, but she shook her head and turned on her heel making a beeline for the porch where Ben stood in a state of shock. Claire reached him and spun him toward the door, pressing him inside, "Get some stuff, we're going to Alfie's." 

Cas turned around as she was about to shut the door, "You're taking Ben with you?" 

Claire called back over her shoulder, "Dean's not gonna stop me." 

As the door closed, Cas turned back to Dean with a questioning look in his eyes. 

Dean shrugged, "She's right." 

"About what?" 

"... All of it?... Especially the part about a couple of calls and the whole business is gone... and she can back it up, too. Heavier accusations from a manager who's had a couple of cars dropped on her... And Xander... yeah... I should've known better." 

"What about Ben?" 

Dean shrugged, "I can't push it with either of them right now." 

"Dean, you couldn't have known-" 

"She did. And she told me, and I just refused to listen. So, yeah, it's my fault, and it absolutely could've been Ben." 

* * *

"Do you have to work tomorrow?" Ben asked, muffled by Nick trying to stick her head out the window. 

"I'm not going in." Claire replied, turning the Chevelle into town. 

"What about Monday?" 

"That's why I said to get your backpack." 

Ben shifted, "It's weird, right? I mean, it's like my dad doesn't even care if I leave." 

"Maybe he finally learned to trust my judgement." Claire answered sardonically, "It's not that he doesn't care that you're gone for a couple days, okay? But what happened today was crap, he knows where you'll be and that you're safe, so, y'know... safer than the fucking junkyard... Anyway, this... this is gonna give everybody some time to calm down... And if he hears anything, he'll call." 

With the Monte Carlo and the Kia in the driveway, Claire parked at the curb, and started for the door, holding back as Ben caught up, carrying his overstuffed backpack and Nick following along after him. 

Once inside, Margaret looked up from the end of the bar of the open kitchen, happy to see them until she got a look at Claire's face, "Hey... What? What's wrong?" 

Claire managed a brave face and turned to Ben, "Why don't you go ditch your stuff in Alfie's mom's room, it should still be warm enough to swim." 

Ben wandered away, and Claire turned back to Margaret, "Junkyard laser tag happened. And, like I've been telling Dean the whole damn time, a kid got hurt." 

Margaret nodded, "You can't tell Dean what to do." 

"I can for now, I basically have the whole company's balls in a vice. Assuming the kid's parents don't sue him and start an investigation, and shut the place down anyway..." Claire's voice dropped to a sad mumble, "So much for Bobby's legacy." 

"What about the kid?" 

Claire's gaze dropped to the floor, "His blood was all over my hands... Ben saw the whole thing, and... You know what, I don't really want to talk about it right now. Is Alfie here yet?" 

"No, he was gonna pick up pizzas." 

"Um... Are you eating corn flakes and mayo?" Claire asked, pointing to the bowl in front of Margaret. 

"No, it's yogurt." 

Claire nodded, "Okay, that's a little more understandable..." 

"Yeah, just hoping it stays down better than the cheetos." 

"Sorry..." 

Margaret shrugged as the front door opened again and Kevin seemed to slink inside. 

"Looks like I have a conversation happening." Margaret said quietly, getting up from her seat as Claire nodded. 

"I'll be outside with Ben, but if Alfie gets here, send him my way, okay?" Claire asked, not expecting an answer, but heading for the back door. 

Kevin gave Margaret a loaded nod and she motioned toward her room in an invitation, causing him to follow her as she picked up her bowl. 

Kevin left the door open, leaning back against the frame as Margaret perched cross-legged on the corner of the bed, one elbow on the footboard, still munching as she waited patiently. 

"So, um..." Kevin started before apparently losing his nerve. 

"Ninja Turtle.. You were going to try to convince me." 

"Right. No. I mean, we have time for that later..." 

"So, you didn't come over here to talk about Ninja Turtles?" Margaret asked, taking another bite. 

Kevin made a face, "Samandriel said... He said it was about more than just the baby. What's going on that I don't know about?" 

Margaret shrugged, "Nothing I'd keep secret from my boyfriend." 

"Now who's being childish? This effects my kid, so it effects me. I need to know." 

Margaret nodded, "Fine... When I got all my stuff together, and I was headed out the door, gave my dad the house key, he said if I came back with a marriage license and you joined his stupid church, not just any church, but the exact same one, they would take me back. He even said... he said he would even look past the 'whole Asian thing,' but it would piss off grandma." 

"They gave you a way back in?" 

Margaret shrugged again, "Yeah... But if I had to live a lie that big, I would just end up hating myself. Probably resent every part of it, you, the baby... Kind of funny, right? I'm done with them, and you're done with me." 

"You didn't tell me, but you told Samandriel about this?" 

"Hormones. I'm completely at their mercy... But I'm not going back on this... Anyway, he said that Dean had told him that he went through something like that, and I had the chance to talk it out with Dean... This actually isn't as bad as what he went through, but, he said not to go running back. If my family wants any kind of contact with me, they need to grovel, and I need to be running the show. And if you don't want them around the baby, I need to take that into consideration." 

Kevin shook his head, trying to understand everything as he caught up to it, "Wait, so, they- you're cutting them out of your life? Or, at least, mostly?" 

"They were going to cut me out of their lives over the baby, and guilt me into screwing up both of our lives, making us follow the same stupid plan they used when my sister was on the way... But they're miserable. I can't drag you into that. We'd turn out like them, and life's too short to be that bitchy and hopeless all the time." 

"So, when you said I needed to make the choice whether or not to be part of the baby's life, were you really talking about the baby?" 

"Yeah. That was a hundred percent just about the baby." 

"But it applies to you, too, doesn't it?" Kevin asked, for clarification, "That has to be a choice for me, not just an automatic thing to go along with." 

"Not an obligation." Margaret replied quietly. 

Kevin nodded, still deep in thought, then turned to look out the bedroom door, "Why did she bring Ben over?" 

"A kid got hurt in the junkyard, one of his friends, I think. Maybe she's distracting him, but she's been telling Dean it wasn't safe... I'm not really sure what's going on. Alfie's picking up pizza." 

Kevin nodded absently, "Okay.. You guys have fun, I guess. I'm gonna go." 

Margaret watched him leave with an unreadable expression, and a hint of a shrug. 

* * *


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Pretty much confined to my bed all day until I can get an ultrasound on my heart, and a borg implant [okay, a Holter] on Thursday... That should make watching the finale fun... The boredom is actually making it harder to write, wth?
> 
> Okay, here's our Rejects dealing with all the horrible crap I throw at them. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Thanks for the kudos! Thanks for the comments! FW)

* * *

It had been a rough evening. Cas had talked Dean into a sandwich at one point, but mostly it was pacing and checking his phone. 

"Do you want to talk?" Cas offered. 

"Not really." Dean replied. 

"Staring at your lock screen isn't going to make it ring." Cas commented from the edge of his still half sorted office. 

As if on cue, his own phone went off, and he answered it immediately. "Mrs Stansfield? How's Xander?" 

Dean watched as Cas' tense stance slacked as he listened, nodding, "Yes, we're all very grateful for that... Right. Of course there are services at the school to help with that, head injuries can be very complicated. What about you? Is someone available to get you home? I can contact the PTA, they have a phone tree, although you'd be bombarded with casseroles." 

Having gotten the idea that Xander had pulled through, Dean let out a breath he had forgotten he was holding, and stepped closer, wrapping his arms around Cas' waist and pressing his face against the side of Cas' neck. 

He could make out what the woman was saying on the phone, just barely. Worrying about the bills, worrying about her child, even worrying about the children who'd seen it happen. Tears were evident in her tone. 

Dean thought back to when he'd first arrived at the hospital, trying to help a nurse find out Alfie's next of kin. The nurse had stated her brother always rode without a helmet, preferring not to survive the type of injuries that could be sustained by a bad wreck, and how she didn't agree with it, but even then, Dean could see his point. 

All of his medical studies came back, head wounds, neck trauma, spinal damage, neurological issues... and Xander was just a child. 

Dean lost track of Cas' words, his frayed nerves soothed by the sound of Cas' voice, and at some point the call ended. 

"Dean?..." 

"Yeah?" 

"She's being investigated by child services." 

"What? Why? She wasn't even here." 

"The deputy said her home is unlivable... Hoarding... When Xander's ready to leave the hospital, he's got to go somewhere else." 

Dean let go, still confused, "Anything we can do about it?" 

"Well, I would have offered, but, how would that look? Besides, I think the Lyttons are a more likely option." 

"Because of us, right? Can't even be a temporary foster?" 

Cas shrugged, "If we were already married, the county might overlook it, but unfortunately, prejudice takes a while." 

Dean nodded, "So, what can we do? Maybe set her up in Bobby's place?" 

"That wouldn't be a good option, she needs help. Moving her to a new location, it's a matter of time before it all slips, and starts again... And, anyway, we couldn't take him either, to foster, he'd have to have his own room." 

"So there's nothing?... Just, nothing? No way to try to stop the dominoes from tipping each other over, we just wait, and watch, and see how bad it gets?" Dean was visibly frustrated, "You've heard Jack talk, right? Maybe while the kid is healing up, things would be okay, but for how long? And how long would they want him around, anyway?" 

Cas shrugged, "There are no easy answers... Is there any sort of insurance for this? The bill for the ambulance alone..." 

Dean nodded, "Yeah, well, I kept whatever policy Bobby had on the place, I guess I should be digging that out, call them up." 

Cas caught Dean by the elbow as he was headed for the door, "Dean, it's almost eleven. It'll wait until morning." 

Dean stopped, still agitated, but turned slowly, nodding, "Yeah, I guess it won't change anything right now, huh?... Not a damn thing I can do." 

"There was no-" 

"Don't." 

"Dean-" 

"She's not even a parent, and she saw it coming a mile away! This is my fault, Cas. The whole thing. And you know, maybe she was right to take Ben out of here. I'd love to know why, but I can think of a bunch of reasons that was a good idea. And, yeah, I'm worried what he might be getting up to, but I'm sure she'll make sure he eats, and has a place to sleep. This is just... God, it's not even my kid!" 

Cas pulled Dean into a tight embrace, "Do you remember what you said to me when I said I shouldn't have let Claire drive? ...You said it was a reasonable risk, just like everything else in life. I knew the possibility of her getting into an accident was higher because she was a teenager, and I let her drive anyway... If you think she's right, keep the children out of the junkyard, and move on. You can't undo what's already happened." 

"And Claire, like last night wasn't hard enough for her, and she thought it was Ben..." Dean fought back his emotions, thankful he was too exhausted to really let go, "I don't think she's gonna pick up if I call, can you check on them?" 

Cas nodded, and Dean headed for the stairs. 

* * *

"Everything is fine." Claire said, her tone flat, "No, he went to bed already... Alfie's mom's old room... Yeah, like I'm gonna abduct the kid and then starve him. He ate half a pizza, then Margaret convinced him to try, um, I don't know what it was called, it was spicy... No, I didn't bring them, but after that hallucination crap, I just want to wait and make sure it's all out of my system. I'll be fine." 

Claire rolled her eyes as she watched Alfie going over some detail on the screen, he'd been obsessing over something for the better part of an hour. To her, it looked like the corner of a wall, but when questioned, he'd only mumbled something about layers, and examined it closer. 

"He's fine... I'm fine, everything is fine... I do not sound like Dean!" 

Alfie scoffed, which, as he'd expected, earned him an icy glare. 

"Yep. That's exactly what we're doing. Vodka, whips, chains, tomorrow we sacrifice a goat... Yeah. Okay... Yeah, I know, Monday... 'Kay... yeah, goodnight dad." 

"A goat?" 

Claire looked up as she set her phone down, "I know, I'm losing my touch. He was just checking in, today sucked. Xander's still alive, but they don't really know what's going on with him, it might take a bit... Can you believe he asked me if I wanted him to come get Ben?" 

Alfie shrugged, "He knows Ben's okay here, right? I mean, not like he's safe, but, he's a cool kid?" 

"I dunno. Sometimes I think my dad is only cool on accident, he might not know what cool is." Claire mused, stretching out, "Maybe it's a contract thing, being a principal and all." 

"Doesn't exactly explain the nipple ring." Alfie muttered, much to Claire's surprise. 

"How do you...?" 

"I told you about that. When you fell asleep on me, on the couch?" 

"Oh, right." Claire answered after a pause, "Normally you call that 'the first time he didn't kill you.' That kind of freaked you out, huh? Sorry I missed it." 

"You didn't miss much." Alfie replied, "So... your meds... What if that thing happens again?" 

"Then I'll know what's going on. If I can sleep, anyway. But I looked it up, there's a bunch of tips." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah. I've got it, okay?" 

"What if, later, you don't got it?" 

"Then you look up sleep paralysis and remind me to try a small movement and make sure I'm not on my back." Claire answered, trying to get comfortable. 

Alfie looked somewhat unnerved, "On your back? ...What were you seeing, anyway? I mean, you looked really freaked out when you saw Dean." 

Claire was quiet for a moment too long for his comfort, "You guys were both shadows, only I had the idea that you were still you. I just really thought Dean was... I don't know, psychic strangling me... Not even sure that makes sense." 

"But... I mean, like, no rape stuff?" 

"No, no rape stuff. Just plain old murder." 

Alfie saved his progress with a smirk, "It's strange how you can make that sound like a good thing. 

"Right... where are we going to get a goat?" 

Alfie settled next to her, leaving a considerable gap between them, "Isn't there an occult shop down town?" 

At Claire's raised brows, he chuckled, ruining his joke, to which she curled onto her side, pulling him closer. 

"So..." Alfie said softly, with his usual gentle demeanor, "How bad was the fight? Is Dean still recognizable?" 

"I didn't hit him." 

"Wow... I don't know what I expected, but-" 

"Not that he doesn't deserve it." Claire grumbled. 

"I was just thinking, 'idgit,' but in this case I think Bobby would've chewed him out a lot worse." 

Claire shrugged slightly, despite a lack of movement where she'd tucked her head under his chin, "'Fucking moron' might fit." 

"D'you suppose your dad read him the riot act after you left?" 

"I hope he did. But on the phone, he just reminded me about this damn family counseling crap on Monday, so I'm guessing whatever it was, he didn't think it was that bad... nearly got a kid killed, who could still die, but, screw it, we've got an appointment, right?" 

Alfie was quiet for a while, until he felt a couple of tears dampen his shirt, and held her tighter. 

* * *

_The ambulance siren was still blaring, even as the rear doors stood open wide, all sorts of medical devices swinging as two people climbed out quickly, a woman and an older man._

_Ben watched as they ran to where Claire was in a crouch, holding several pieces of Xander's skull in place, screaming them to bring her some tape or a nail gun. Pieces of brain were visible through her fingers as the two uniformed EMTs got to her, pulling Xander to his feet. He seemed strangely healthy, but for the head injury._

_"Bobby?" Ben asked, coming closer. He was nearly between Xander and the ambulance now, trying to get a good look at the man's face, interrupted by a beard and a ballcap that matched the rest of the uniform. But it certainly appeared to be Bobby._

_Ben waved to Jack and Trey to come closer to the ambulance, but they were preoccupied, laughing about something. It was as though they didn't even see him._

_Claire sat fully down on the ground, her hands still covered in blood, her expression both weary and determined, but he was sure she hadn't noticed._

_"Claire... Claire? Didn't you see him?" Ben asked, only to be ignored, "Claire! It was Bobby!"_

_Claire didn't move. She didn't even look up._

_The two EMTs were approaching the ambulance quickly, one on either side of Xander, who looked to be in a state of complacent confusion. Ben was torn between going to Claire, and staying put as they started to move past him, but he caught a look at the woman's face as she climbed into the ambulance, helping Bobby pull Xander inside._

_"Mom?"_

_Lisa's eyes found him with a sad, regretful gaze as she took a firmer hold of Xander's arm, nearly her size himself, and pulled as Bobby lifted the boy into the ambulance._

_"Mom, no! ...No, don't take him! Bobby! Stop!"_

_Ben approached the ambulance doors at full speed, grabbing at Xander and trying to pull him out as the loud diesel engine fired up._

_"Don't take him! Let go!... CLAIRE!" Ben pulled hard, wrapping his arms around Xander as best he could, despite the slippery blood, throwing all his weight backward as Bobby and Lisa both struggled to hold onto Xander, trying to get the doors closed as the ambulance lurched and began a slow movement forward._

_"Help me!... Help! Don't let them take him!...Mom, why?!... Claire, help me!"_

"Ben!" Claire's voice, and a hand roughly shaking his shoulder cut through his fog of sleep as the dim light of the lamp stung his eyes, "Stop it, you're okay! Shut the hell up before you wake up everybody." 

Ben rolled upward, sitting up awkwardly, giving the top of his head a sleepy scratch, finding Nick stretched out close to him, with much more room than his bed at home usually allowed for. 

"Sorry." Ben mumbled. 

"Don't worry about it... Nightmare?" 

Ben nodded, "Mom and Bobby were taking Xander away... I was trying to stop them." 

"Gotcha." Claire said quietly, climbing onto the bed to sit next to him, her back against the headboard, "That actually makes a lot of sense. I mean, he got hurt right in front of you, right? You saw it happen, and you're not a baby, you know that wasn't something you can fix with a band aid... And they're dead, so, y'know, if it looked like they were trying to take him, it's like, you're trying to stop him from dying. Normal stuff to be worried about. But my dad called a couple hours ago, said Xander's, um... Well, he's stable, so... But it might have rattled his brain a little, so he might act weird for a bit." 

"Like forget who he is?" 

"No, I think that only happens in soap operas. But, he might forget a few words, or maybe not remember his way around school. He might act different, or talk funny. I don't really know what's going to happen. But when he's back on his feet, he's gonna need his friends, so, try to look past it. Help him out." 

Ben shrugged, "So, if he acts weird, or walls funny, maybe we should be zombies for Halloween, then nobody would notice?" 

"That's a really good plan." Claire answered, "I'm sure you and Jack will set it up, but remember, if I drive you guys-" 

"All the rollos, half the reeses, I know." Ben replied, trying to get comfortable, "What if he can't walk good? How do we do the haunted house?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"Little hallways, and stairs." 

Claire shrugged, "You and Jack just bunch up around him, act like everything is fine, and carry him along. But if he doesn't want to go, I'll wait with him." 

"This is the first year we get to do the haunted house without parents, Xander was really looking forward to it after last year when my dad kept going 'Look, you can see the strings,' and 'That fake blood doesn't even look real.'" 

Claire chuckled, remembering how Ben had whined that Dean had ruined the day, "Yeah, that's why I went before you guys got to the town square. I bet he does that to keep you from getting scared." 

"It's Halloween, we _want_ to get scared!" Ben protested. 

"Scared how bad? Because I can make it happen." 

Ben shrugged, "Make Jack scream like a girl?" 

Claire nodded, "Done. Now, back to sleep. Ivan said they need roadies tomorrow, and I know about your deal, so you're not getting out of it." 

"Are you going?" 

"Maybe. But it's two blocks away, no big deal." 

* * *

With ample space for a large park that had once been located at the edge of the town, the town having grown around it, the large facility was often the location for festivals, day camps, and scouts programs. 

The fall festival was one of the events large enough to draw more residents than the city square could safely accommodate. 

Lacking a proper stage for the few local musicians and a myriad of groups that would drive in from the surrounding towns, a flatbed trailer had been parked on the grounds, not far from one of the smaller surrounding parking areas, roped off for those actually performing. 

Alfie had already told Ivan he'd passed the demo CD to a some husband of a producer at the gathering in Houston, but only a week out, he hadn't expected Alfie to show up and introduce the couple at the fall festival. 

He'd considered what he should have done, perhaps a different tshirt, different shoes, actually looked at where his hair parted before tying it back... 

Slowly it occurred to him that he had in fact dressed well enough. He had put actual thought into his clothing, because he was meeting up with Julie. It wasn't until he had gotten up onto the trailer, high enough to see over the clusters of people who were either packing up, sitting down on picnic blankets, simply waiting for the next group, or moving from one area of the festival to another, that he caught sight of a large pink stroller parked next to a bench, and Julie, with Cyndi standing on the bench next to her. Ivan didn't even realize he was smiling until he remembered, and wondered if they were far enough away from the speakers for Cyndi's hearing. 

He stepped to the back edge of the makeshift stage, taking a haphazardly patched together system of effects pedals from Ben, bringing them to the front. He'd suggested several times to the most recent lead singer that he separate the lighting controls and move them to a different board, and only bring both sets for the few times they'd had an occasion to play when it was dark enough to notice the lights, but the impatient young man wouldn't hear of it. 

He sent Ben back to his truck for a roll of cables, and continued to set up. 

The actual set they performed flew by, and before he knew it, they were packing up again, hurrying to get out of the way for the next group. 

He'd passed the last case down to Ben and was about to start tying down the equipment in the back of his truck when the woman, dressed too warmly for the day, and wearing heavier makeup than he normally saw around town had caught up with him and pulled him aside. 

"That solo was really something, but you have a good stage presence as well. Why were you only singing backup?" 

Ivan gave an embarrassed chuckle, "I can't sing and play lead at the same time." 

"So play rhythm." 

"Then we wouldn't have a lead guitar." he replied. 

"Team player, very good. I like that. Samandriel says you're twenty-three. Can you prove it?" 

"Uh, sure. Birth certificate, driver's license, what do you need?" 

The woman shrugged, "Whatever's handy. What I need right now is somebody who can play, help out solo artists in the studio, and maybe, if you seem cut out for it, get your face out there a little later on." 

Ivan nodded, trying to consider what she was saying, conflicted because he knew Julie would be looking for him soon, "So, I'm supposed to meet up with somebody, is there a better time to talk about this?" 

She held out a business card, "We're headed back in an hour, it was a long drive. My cell number is on there, I'm going to check out the local foods, and give you a little while to track me down if you have any questions." 

Ivan nodded, accepting the card as he started to walk away. Abruptly he stopped and called after her, "Hey, would I have to move to Houston?" 

She shrugged, straightening her scarf, "Our main office is in Austin, there's more of a music scene. Personally, I don't care what your address is, I've got people running around for gigs or small tours all over the place. But when we call you and give you a week to get there, you get there." 

Ivan nodded again and started for the bench where he'd last seen Julie. 

* * *

Dean jerked awake as Cas' phone started to ring. He hadn't expected to fall asleep so early. 

Cas set the laundry basket down on the bed and picked up the phone as Dean hauled himself upright. 

By the time Dean had gotten himself back to a more lucid state, the call was already over, and Cas' face was grim. 

"What's the news?" Dean asked. 

Cas gave a small shake of his head, "Xander's blood pressure has been dropping, and they don't know why... She said it might be a good idea to consider taking Ben to see him." 

"Is he conscious?" 

"No." 

Dean shook his head, "Any other kid, I'd think about it, but after Lisa, no... He's had so many nightmares." 

"He's twelve. Maybe you should speak to him, get his side." 

"Cas, it's not a good idea." 

"He may not get another chance." 

Dean fell silent. 

"I'm not sure it's fair not to give him the option. Unfortunately, more than most children his age, he understands the loss. He certainly wouldn't choose to go just to gawk... I could take him for you." 

"Why?" Dean snapped, "You know, you're the only one who hasn't said it yet. Ben pretty much said it by leaving with Claire... So, go on, let it out." 

Cas gave him a brief look of confusion before it changed, "Fine. Letting children play in a junkyard was terrible idea. But I've done worse where my own child is concerned, so... Snap out of it and call. It's about Ben right now." 

"Like she'll pick up." 

Cas pulled his phone from his pocket and tossed it roughly into Dean's lap, "You're going to run out of excuses." 

"You still haven't said it was my fault." Dean said quietly. 

"I'm sticking to facts, Dean. You didn't push him, he fell. So unless you plan to put up railing on the top of each stacked car-... pile," Cas shrugged, "There's nothing to do now." 

Cas left the room quickly and Dean set about calling Claire on Cas' phone. 

Claire picked up almost immediately, with quite a bit of noise in the background. "Hey, dad." 

"Not quite." 

"Dean... What's going on?" 

Dean took a hard swallow before he spoke, "Um, Xander's not doing so good today... You mind putting Ben on? I'd like to talk to him." 

"Uh.. I gotta find him first. Hang on." 

"You don't know where he is?" Dean asked. 

"We're at the fall fest, he was helping Ivan with equipment. If he left to walk the two blocks back to the house where Margaret's at, he was supposed to come tell me first, so I know he's still in the park." 

Dean was about to say something snarky, but given the current state of things, he let it go. 

"Okay, I see him, just a sec..." Claire said. 

Dean could hear her speed up and call to Ben, it was clear that she'd taken the phone from her ear. 

Soon, Ben's voice came over the line, "Hello?" 

"Hey buddy, it's dad. You doing okay?" 

"Um, yeah. Just kind of hanging out. Got a funnel cake." Ben replied. 

Dean rubbed at his eyes, swinging his legs down to the floor, "Listen, Cas got a call from Xander's mom... He's... He's not having a real easy time right now... I, uh... I wanted to find out if you want me to come pick you up, take you to see him." 

The line was quiet for a moment as Ben seemed to be thinking it over, "So, he's not okay?" 

"Ben, he hit his head really hard. Nobody can say for sure what's going to happen. But we do what we can, right?... So, if you want to go see him, I want to make sure you get the chance." 

Dean listened carefully for any hint of a word, but all he heard was clearly strained nasal breathing with something of a tremble. Very faintly he heard Claire approach, asking Ben if he was all right. 

Louder, her voice took over the line, "What's going on?" 

"Xander's not doing too great. I wanted to find out if Ben wanted to see him." 

"Did you get a room number?" 

"Yeah, three-eleven." 

"Okay, I gotta go calm him down, if he wants to go, I'll send you a text and get him there." 

Dean nodded, "Thanks, Claire-" 

He was cut off by the sound of the call ending. In his frustration he squeezed the phone tightly and gave something of an anguished squirm. 

"Don't throw it," Cas said quietly from the doorway, "I need it for work." 

"Don't you have a damn casserole to make or something?" Dean snapped, standing up. 

Cas fixed him with a stern look, "You could be fixing that woman's car instead of whining about your failures. That would be a far more practical gift than a casserole." 

* * *


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: First chapter of Hellatus. Pretty sure the finale gave me an ulcer, so, why not channel that frustration into coming here to pass that stress on to you? Lol
> 
> No spoilers, just read. It's a good one. Thanks for reading! FW)

* * *

"Really? That's great!" Julie replied. 

"Yeah, but they're headed out in an hour, so if I'm going to go talk to them-" Ivan started. 

Julie cut him off with a showing wave, "Yeah, go. You gotta try." 

"But-" 

Julie scoffed gently, bouncing Cyndi on her hip, "We're not going anywhere, we'll still be here when you get back." 

Something about her words sank in deeply, and with a pause to peck her cheek, he took off in the direction the producer had gone. 

Cyndi raised her hand, "Bahbye." 

"No, he'll be back in a minute." 

"Fwuck." 

"Yes, truck... Ivan drives a truck." Julie answered, "Can you say Ivan?" 

"'No." 

Julie squeezed her daughter, "Okay... That's okay." 

* * *

Claire tucked her phone away, quickly following after Ben, catching up to him near a gazebo full of bingo players. 

"Ben... Hey..." 

Ben stopped, having been moving aimlessly, and now at a loss for a target. He shook his head, "I don't know." 

Claire nodded, "Nobody does." 

"What... What do I do?" 

"If you want to see him, we go to the car, I let Dean know, and he'll meet up with us." 

Ben turned, anxious, and unsure what to do with his hands, "If he... I mean..." 

"What would you want Xander to do?... If it was you, what would you want from him?" Claire asked. 

Ben broke as tears seeped free, and he shrugged, "He was supposed to be _here!_ We were gonna prank this girl Jack likes... It was stupid, but... I don't know." 

Claire put an arm around his shoulders and started him for the car as he scrubbed almost violently at his eyes, "Okay. Look, if you don't go, and he doesn't make it, are you gonna regret not going? Because if you go, and everything is fine, there's no reason to regret that." 

Ben nodded. 

"Okay. Let's just head for the car, I'll text your dad." 

* * *

Saturday had ended on a solemn note, as Claire had waited in the hospital parking lot until Dean brought Ben back downstairs and gave him the option to leave with Claire, which he took. 

Dean had spent Sunday in the driveway of the Stansfield home, a truly rundown and uninhabitable place, trying to repair a car that was several years out of service. 

He had gotten a text Monday morning from Cas, confirming that Ben had been at school on time, with his homework ready. 

The tone in the shop was a somber one, and it was common knowledge that there was no news on Xander yet. Everything had been quiet, the normal jovial tone quashed. 

Alfie had seemed rather skittish until Dean had pulled him aside and asked how Ben had been acting over the weekend, and it seemed to be an honest question. 

At three forty-five, Dean cut out early, washing up and leaving instructions to close up at five if he wasn't back, and headed into town. 

* * *

"Okay," Dr Thompson started, "My understanding is you've got a major life change happening, combining households, getting married, and you're all here to make sure we handle it in a healthy way... Does anyone want to start us off, anything they want to get out there?" 

"Sure." Claire replied with an unusually happy tone, and Cas noticed as Dr Thompson immediately showed a rather tense look creeping into his face, "Dean, why didn't you tell my boyfriend to take me to the hospital when I got roofied in Houston?" 

"What?" Cas asked immediately. 

"If you want an answer for that, it didn't have to be here." Dean said quietly. 

"Yeah, well, I don't feel much like talking to you elsewhere, but I have to be here anyway." Claire replied. 

"Wait- what happened?" Cas asked. 

Ben looked between the three of them, completely lost, until Claire spotted the confused look on his face. 

"Maybe Ben should sit this one out." Claire nodded to him. 

Dean shook his head slightly and hid his face in his hand, "Can we stay focused, please?" 

"Dean, were you there in Houston with her?" Dr Thompson asked. 

"No. Her boyfriend called me when she collapsed after they'd gotten to the hotel. I was at home." 

"You didn't tell me this?" Cas asked, "Either of you, but, Dean-" 

"Claire," Dr Thompson spoke over them, "Would you like to speak about this privately?" 

"No, I mean, I was okay, I just want to know why." Claire answered. 

"Ben, you need to wait in the hall for a minute, okay?" Dean said quietly. 

Ben got up, "Can I play games on your phone?" 

"Yeah," Dean answered, passing it to him. 

The moment the door clicked shut, Cas turned to his daughter, "Are you sure you're okay? Because if you don't remember, then anything-" 

"I'm fine, dad! I just want to know why the hell Dean wouldn't tell Alfie to take me to the hospital." 

"Because if he took you to a hospital like that, the first thing they'd do is assume he did it, and separate you, okay? Then you'd be drugged up and with total strangers, and just because somebody works in a hospital doesn't mean they won't hurt you. Not to mention they probably would have pushed for a rape kit, which can be just as hard to go through as an assault. You said the water was salty, that's GHB, it's not lethal, and he sure as hell wasn't going to call me if he was going to do anything to you. You were safer in the hotel... Okay? And you said there was video, so, y'know, you're sure. You wouldn't be sure if he had taken you in." 

Claire gave an understanding nod, accepting his answer, but then he made the mistake of meeting Cas' eyes. 

"What?... It wasn't my business to tell you, like you keep pointing out, she's a grown woman." 

"She's a teenager who was away from home with her boyfriend-" 

"Who loves and respects her, though, isn't that what you said? When she snuck him in the other night?" Dean fired back, "I thought you trusted him? I mean, obviously I trust him, I let your daughter drag my preteen over to his house for a whole weekend-" 

"Dean,-" Cas said with a firm, warning tone. 

"Dad, relax. At least he didn't get anybody killed, so far, anywa-" 

A sudden blast of a loud noise startled all three of them, bringing their attention back to Dr Thompson, who sat with his usual clipboard in one hand and a small air horn in the other, "Let's try to get this back on track... Claire, if you would like to talk about it further, I strongly encourage it, but it sounds like you're fairly satisfied with the answer Dean gave you as for his reasoning. Is that right?" 

Claire nodded somewhat shakily, "Yeah... it makes sense now." 

"And Dean, you understand why she would ask the question?" 

"Yeah... Yeah, I get why she'd want to know." Dean said, turning to Claire, "But, y'know, you could have asked that any time, and I would have told you. So, looks like you're just trying to stir stuff up by doing it here." 

"Yeah, well," Claire replied, "You're the reason that kid's blood was all over my hands on Friday, I don't have much reason to keep secrets for you right now." 

Dr Thompson set down the air horn and resumed taking notes, "What happened Friday?" 

* * *

Tuesday, Kevin was leaving the gas station with a bag full of odd candies Margaret had been looking for at the grocery store when she'd called him in tears, and he spotted a familiar face raising a broken down car onto the flatbed of the tow truck, and started across the lot. 

"Hey, Dean... Are you busy?" 

"Yeah, I'm at work." 

"It won't take long." 

"If it's your car, bug Alfie." Dean replied. 

"Nope, not the car. Already got Alfie's advice, but, again, he's my age, so, I'm not sure he knows what he's talking about." 

"Christ, not this shit again." Dean muttered, "You don't have me cornered this time, though." 

"Dean, c'mon. I just need to know if I'm doing the right thing." 

Dean started for the cab of the truck, "Ask yourself if you're asking because you know you aren't, and you want someone to tell you what you want to hear." 

Kevin seemed to think it through, "No, didn't help. Look, Margaret says she broke up with me to keep me from talking her into getting married." 

"Okay?" 

"But she wants to get back together. So, I'm like, no way, and trying to have some respect for myself, and not put myself through it the next time she decides I'm worthless." 

"She said you were worthless?" 

"No. When she broke up with me, she just said she was done. Either she was lying, or she changed her mind and she's playing me. But Samandriel says I'm playing mind games with her." 

Dean nodded, "Well, lucky for you, I know a thing or two about an unexpected pregnancy. First thing is, it scares the living hell out of the mom. Fight or flight, you can't punch your way out of it, so, they run. Either they run to something, or away from something, but that's why babies take nine months, nature's way of giving her time to make whatever decision two or three times through the hormones before they need to stick with it. So, what's the question?" 

"Do I get back together with her, knowing how bad it screwed me up to lose her the first time?" 

"Do you think it hurt her that bad to dump you?" 

"She said it did, but I have no idea." 

"Find out. She probably did what she did in a panic, and now that she's coming at it with a clear head, she regrets it." 

"She said she does." 

"She ever break up with you for a stupid reason?" 

Kevin seemed to squirm, "Yeah, well, it was stupid, but not from her side." 

"Yeah?" 

"Got a tattoo of my dead sister's name. She didn't know I had a sister, freaked out." 

Dean nodded, "Yeah, that was stupid on your side. Any other time?" 

"No." 

"So, this was the only time it wasn't your fault, and she was trying to be the responsible one, and now that she's not a scared mess of feelings, you're holding it over her head?... You still love her?" 

"Yeah." 

"So, lemme get this straight, it, uh, what? Tore you apart to lose her? And she did that to keep you both from making a little oops into a lifelong mistake, and she wants you back, you want her back, but she hasn't suffered long enough? Is that how that works?" 

"Crap... I fucked this up, didn't I?" 

Dean shrugged, "Get her flowers. And do it fast, one of the morons at the shop was going to ask her out." 

"But she's pregnant." Kevin protested. 

"Yeah, well, second trimester, women get really.... well, um... Just, trust me on this." Dean said, popping open the door of the truck, "Do it today, don't let it wait." 

* * *

Seeing Claire's number, Cas picked up his phone, even as he was looking through boxes in the room that was slowly becoming his new office. 

"Hello." 

"Dad, I don't know what to do." Claire sounded determined but desperate, her voice hushed, and he could hear gravel crunching as she paced, "Dean's out on a tow, and Ben's up on the stack Xander fell from. He's not answering me, and he's got something in his hands." 

"Was he in Bobby's house?" Cas asked, standing upright and heading for the door. 

"I don't know. I'm not taking my eyes off him... I would send Alfie to check if one of the guns was missing, but I don't know where they all are, or how many there are to start with, either." 

"Claire, I'm coming straight there, watch him, don't yell at him, but if you think you're in any danger, don't try to stop him, just get out of the way, do you understand?" 

"...Yeah." 

Hanging up, Cas hurried down the road, taking the corner at the gate a little too fast, and quickly sped for the place where the ground was still darkened with the blood from Friday's accident. 

Claire was still close by, calling up to Ben, trying to get him to come down. Ben continued to ignore her. 

Cas could see that Ben, curled up with his knees out to the sides and a dark object in his hands, turning it over and over, was sitting in the middle of the roof of the car. 

"He hasn't responded at all?" Cas asked. 

"No." Alfie replied, "I was going to try going up there." 

"No, I'll do it. You both stay down here." Cas said quietly, starting for the stack. 

He couldn't help a glance at the stain on the ground as he went. 

Carefully, and deliberately, Cas ascended the stack of junked cars, finally pulling himself up onto the hood. 

Ben had ear buds in, not visible from the ground, and the dark object in his hands was a laser tag gun, which had been cracked and carried heavy smears of dried blood. 

He looked up, surprised to see Cas in front of him, and immediately pulled out his ear buds, "What?" 

"Ben, are you all right?" 

"Yeah." 

Cas shifted to sit down, "Are you sure? Because it's okay to answer 'no' to that question." 

Ben didn't reply, only looking away toward Bobby's old house. 

"Claire was worried when you weren't answering." 

"Music was kinda loud, sorry." Ben said quietly. 

Cas nodded, "You know, Xander's not much of a trouble maker, but that doesn't equate to strength. Being willing to get into a fight isn't the same thing as being able to fight... Xander's a gentle soul, but he's tough... At this point, chances are he's going to be back at school in a month." 

"It's all Jack's fault!" Ben burst out suddenly, "If he didn't push him into doing this kind of crap, he wouldn't've gotten distracted and slipped!" 

"Ben, this isn't Jack's fault... and like you, Claire is looking for someone to blame, someone to point at and label as the reason for this, but the world is never that simple... Bad things can happen to anyone. Jack didn't do this, your father didn't do this, and it's not your fault, either." 

"But I was up here." Ben's voice shattered as tears came, "If I waited to climb down, I could have caught him." 

"It's more likely that you both would have fallen... You were on the way down, though. You were going against the peer pressure to jump, making it easier for Xander to feel like he didn't have to. You did the right thing." Cas answered, hazarding a glance over the side. 

About halfway down, one of the side mirrors still carried a browned smear of old blood. 

Cas sat up again, "You know, Claire has probably called Dean already. He'd probably handle it better if you're on the ground when he gets back." 

"So you came over here to get me to get down?" Ben asked. 

"I came over here because you're going through something very difficult to handle, and, although I'm sure you don't mean to, your behavior is scaring people." Cas said gently, "You shouldn't be in the junkyard, anyway." 

"So you think Claire is right?... That dad's wrong and it's not safe?" 

"I think your father had a difficult childhood, and while his intentions are generally on track, his experience is skewed." 

"What's that even mean? Like he doesn't know because of how his dad was?" 

Cas attempted to simplify it, "That means, just because his father let him run wild in the city dump or construction sites and he didn't get hurt doesn't mean it's safe or practical for you to do the same. Just because he didn't get hurt doesn't mean you won't. He didn't have someone worrying about him like he should have had, and as a result, he worries less than he should." 

"Is that why kids are supposed to have two parents?" Ben asked quietly, "So that evens stuff out? One gets worried and the other says it's okay?" 

"I don't know, but that does seem to be a good idea." 

Ben nodded, and with the voice of a startled child, he crept closer, "I think I'm ready to get down now." 

Cas carefully made his way down, then waited as Ben climbed down after him. Claire came closer, and saw that the gun was only a roughed up chunk of plastic with a chipped battery door, but made no comment, only getting a worried look at Ben's face before Cas started him back toward the house. 

Alfie accompanied her back toward the shop, glancing at Cas and Ben as they made it to the road behind them, "Claire?" 

"Yeah?" 

"If you want to head home-" 

"I'm fine." 

"Right. Of course. You just spent fifteen minutes trying to talk your adopted baby brother off a ledge, your hands are still shaking, but you're fine... This isn't the first time you were worried he was going to hurt himself on purpose." 

"Are you done?" 

"Tell Dean." 

"What's to tell? And anyway, I'm trying to avoid him." Claire muttered. 

"Just walk up to him and tell him you're scared. Just get the words out-" 

"Yeah, 'Dean, does your fucked up family have a history of suicide? Because, not like I'm a parent, but your kid's a fucked up mess, and I don't want him blowing his brains out across the hall from me.' That's gonna go over well." 

Alfie immediately changed direction and went straight to the paint shed. 

"Where the hell are you going?" Claire asked, more confused, but allowing it to come out as irritation. 

She followed after him into the empty paint shed, and stopped in her tracks when he turned to face her, his expression unreadable. 

"What? You want to hash this out right now?" 

"You're stressed." 

"Most of the time, yeah." Claire answered quickly. 

"I just want to help with that." 

"Not at work." 

"That's not what I meant. But you keep going above and beyond with all the non-work stuff that keeps landing in your lap, so-" 

"You figured you'd land in my lap, too?" 

Alfie pulled Claire into a tight hug, and waited, not letting go when she stated to pull away. 

"Alfie... I'm fine." 

"I know." 

"I'm serious. I've been through a lot worse, this is nothing." 

"Yeah." Alfie replied, continuing to hold her. 

"When are you gonna let go?" 

"I could ask you the same thing." 

* * *

Dean looked around carefully as he pulled in, getting out of the truck quickly. There was no sign of anyone on the stack in the distance, and Claire was walking toward him, her eyes somewhat red. 

"Where's Ben?" 

"My dad came and took him home." 

Dean was visibly relieved, "What was it? Why was he up there?" 

"I don't know. But the thing he had, it was just a laser tag gun... Are the real ones locked up?" 

"Yeah. Why?" 

"All of them?" 

Dean shrugged, "All the ones anyone could get to in a hurry." 

"What if they aren't in a hurry? ...Because I didn't even see him up there until a half hour after he got off the bus." 

Dean spread his hands, "What do you want me to do? They're locked in Bobby's old place, he shouldn't be able to get to any of them. There's rifles, shot guns, a whole collection of pistols, the guy was a collector." 

Claire gave a frustrated shrug. 

"Okay, well, I'm gonna go check on him. You hold down the fort for me?" 

Dean didn't look at her as he started for the road, so he didn't notice the look of stifled rage she wore. 

Claire turned on her heel and headed into the closest bay. 

"Claire?" Randy said quietly. 

"What?" Claire replied with a venomous snap. 

"Lucas has somebody in the office, getting a little loud." 

"Shit..." Claire hurried through the hallway to find Lucas standing at the end of the desk arguing quietly with a customer as Margaret was just clocking in, "Lucas?" 

"Yeah?... Mr Snyder, here, thinks-" 

"I know-" Mr Snyder interjected. 

"That the tire pressure needs to be lower in the front wheels, so it'll grip the road better." 

"So have him sign a laws-of-physics-disagree waiver." Claire answered, "As long as we aren't liable, he can plow into as many trees as he likes. It's a free country." 

"But the warranty-" Mr Snyder started. 

"Is void if not used to the manufacturer's specifications. Now, would you like us to check the levels of halogen fluid in your headlights?" 

"Young lady-" 

"Nope. Not today." Claire replied firmly, "If you know so much about cars, you're welcome to take it home and handle it there. But I assume you brought it in because you couldn't. You needed a professional to handle it. Now if you want to damage your car by treating it like crap, go ahead, more money for me in the long run... So, you're paid up?" Claire paused to check the screen before scooping the keys up and slamming them down on the desk in front of him, "Here's your keys. Not my problem." 

The force with which they hit the desk struck the panic button on the key fob, and set off the man's car alarm. He picked up the keys, grumbling the oft repeated threat, "I want to speak to the manager. Send him in here." 

"I'm the manager." 

"No, I'm not taking any more bitchy attitude from yo-" 

"You've got ten seconds to get out." Claire replied cooly. 

"What did you say to me?" 

"I said get out. I'm not taking any more bitchy attitude from you. I have the sheriff on speed dial." Claire replied. 

"I'll just call the owner, then, I see him every poker night." 

"Knock yourself out. He's on my shitlist, too." 

"Your boss is going to hear every word of it, this is the most unprofessional-" 

Claire whipped out her phone, and pressed Dean's number, setting it on speaker and put it in the middle of the desk. He quickly picked up. "What now?" 

"Asshole customer, Mr Snyder. Says he plays poker with you." 

"Kick him out. Got no reason to do business with liars." Dean answered. 

Claire looked up as the man before her was turning red, "See, I live with him, if he had a poker night, I would know. He's much more into interior decorating." 

"Claire?" Dean's voice came through the phone, "You didn't hang up yet." 

"Yeah, I know." 

* * *


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Still alive! Still no explanation why my heart is running too fast, and having chest pain. It's cool, though, it would take something a while lot bigger and badder than me to take me out, so...
> 
> Warning: there is talk of violence against animals, again. Only, it's implied. Sorry. 
> 
> Cas seems to be ramping up the badass, I have a feeling that's going somewhere, but each time something comes up, I keep thinking back to his threat to Will about the garden hose on prom night, lol!
> 
> My kids get out for summer today, no idea what that's gonna do to my writing time. Maybe more, maybe less. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! FW)

* * *

Dean went up the stairs quietly, hearing a vague sound of video games being played nearby. 

As he stepped through Ben's doorway, it seemed to be coming from the closet, and he went around the corner to find Ben and Cas sitting on cushions in the floor of the closet, where Ben had set up the video games and a small television Sam had given him in the shelves, along with an assorted stash of junk food and sports drinks, some of which were half empty. 

Cas appeared to be somewhat confused by the number of buttons on his controller, but was making every attempt to keep up. 

"This is nice," Dean said quietly, leaning against the doorframe, "Got your own little mini man-cave in here. Very cool." 

"I'm gonna disconnect the speakers on the stereo and wire the sound to the TV." Ben answered. 

"Great, yeah. Now all you need is a keg, right?" 

Ben made a disgusted noise, "Gross. Chips and soda, maybe." 

"So... everything cool now?" Dean asked as the level finished, "Claire was worried when she called me." 

"I was fine." Ben said a little too fast. 

"Ben-" 

"She was freaking out over nothing." 

"You weren't even supposed to be in the yard." Dean replied, trying to keep calm. 

"Yeah, because she's the boss of you now, right?" 

"Ben," Cas cut in, carefully getting to his feet in the small space, "Please watch your tone... I'm going to go start dinner." 

Cas gave Dean a quick pat on the arm as he left the room, and Dean turned to Ben with a grumpy look, "I'm gonna let that slide, but I wanna know what happened. Your side of this." 

"I'm still not talking to Jack... on the bus home, I was thinking about when we went to see Xander, and... I snuck into the junkyard. The gun Xander was using was one of Trey's, and he took home one of mine, I found Xander's out there near the stack, and, I dunno, I just climbed up there to sit for a while, and I didn't hear Claire. Cas came up to check on me." 

"Cas climbed the stack?" 

Ben nodded. 

"Well, I'm glad you're home safe. But no more sneaking into the junkyard, I mean that." 

* * *

Linda first heard the knock while she was going through the upstairs, and the sound of rapping on the door became more insistent as she hurried down the stairs. 

She took a brief second to look through the peep hole as her hand hit the knob, and seeing who it was, she started to walk away. 

A gruff voice came faintly through the heavy wooden door, "I know you're home! Your car's in the driveway." 

With a look of irritation, Linda returned to the door and cracked it open. 

"What do you want?" 

Henry Danes looked worse for wear, and small signs of stress gave hints all over the map of his face, "I wanna talk to my daughter." 

"Then call her. She doesn't live here." 

"I tried. She blocked my number. Where's she staying?" 

"The hell if I know. But I see her occasionally, and since you're a wreck, I'll go ahead and tell you, she and the baby are safe and healthy. So you have nothing to worry about except what you've done to yourself." 

Past him, immediately across the street, Linda spotted Margaret leaving the front door to get the mail and carefully trained her disapproving gaze on Henry. 

"Your kid is involved, which means you know more than that. That's what mother in laws do, stick their nose where it doesn't belong." 

"I'm nobody's mother in law, and I mind my own business." 

"Where's your son staying?" 

"Here." 

"And Margaret isn't?" 

"Of course not. She's a grown woman with a job, she'll live wherever she likes." 

Henry started to raise his voice, "She's my daughter, and-" 

"And you lost her! You drove her away, and now you're pissed because it worked! So, what do you want? Does she owe you anything? She chose her child over you, so you're throwing a temper tantrum?" 

In her peripheral vision she could tell Margaret wasn't back to the house yet, but she carefully avoided looking away from Henry. 

"If I can't start talking to her at some point, I will never be able to try to work this out with her." 

"You mean 'apologize for being a manipulative, abusive asshole?'" Linda asked the much larger man curtly. Henry looked fed up and started to turn away, "Wait!" 

"What?" 

"I... I have an ultrasound picture on my desk... Do you want to come in for a moment and see it?" Linda asked. 

With a begrudged and weary look, Henry nodded, and followed her in, "So she's seeing a doctor, and she's got a roof and groceries, right? Running water?" 

"Well, I can assume so. Ultrasounds aren't cheap, and she looks clean and fed every time I see her." 

"Does she know if it's a boy or a girl?" 

"I didn't ask. I assume she'll find out eventually." Linda replied, leading the way through the living room to a small corner desk. She took a quick look at the print out in the frame, checking for any identifying information, but found only a date and Margaret's name had been left visible. The obstetrician's office information had been blacked out with her social security number. 

She passed Henry the frame, "There. That's my grandchild." 

"How do you know?" Henry asked dryly. 

"Because Margaret said so. But I wouldn't get your hopes up that she'd say the same thing to you." 

* * *

Walking back to the front door, Margaret's heart caught in her throat as she recognized her father's car, and hurried inside, locking the door. 

She stepped into the odd nook just next to the front door, knowing the window was too dark to see inside from the street, and took a seat on the piano bench as she tried to calm herself. 

Margaret watched for a few minutes as Linda's door opened and her father emerged. His demeanor was sullen and defeated as he slunk to his car, and Linda's door swung shut as he got in and pulled away. 

Margaret was still watching through the window when her phone started to ring. It was Linda's number, and her hand shook slightly as she picked up. 

"Hello?" 

"Margaret, your dad just stopped by. I got him to come inside so he didn't see you." 

"I saw his car." Margaret replied in a strained and squeaky voice. 

"Are you okay? Is Samandriel going to be home soon?" 

"Um... I don't know. I think he's out with Claire... What did he want?" 

Linda sounded sympathetic, but given the family she'd been raised in, Margaret was still suspicious of being ratted out, "He was looking for you... He asked if you were seeing a doctor, and if you had a place to live." 

"Did you tell him anything?" Margaret asked, trying to keep her voice level. 

"No. I showed him one of the older ultrasound pictures, but he doesn't even know it's a boy. I said you and the baby were healthy and safe, and that I don't know where you are... Do you want me to come wait with you?" 

"Uh, no.. um... I think I'm okay." 

"Honey, are you crying?" 

"Maybe?" 

* * *

"It's a good idea. I think I can skip class for that." Claire said quietly, poking at her dinner. 

"Is it really that big a deal how the kids dress?" Dean asked. 

Claire shrugged, "Not to somebody who wears jeans, tshirt, maybe a flannel and work boots day after day." 

"So, Rabbi Jake's grandkids couldn't wear those little hat things? The yarmulkas?" Ben asked. 

Cas nodded, "Hats and hoods aren't allowed, so they would have no way to cover them. And there are several religions where women cover their hair, that would also be a problem. Any visible beads on a rosary, it's an extensive list." 

"What else are they trying to ban?" Alfie asked. 

"Well, makeup is considered inappropriate, but for the most part, it's overlooked. The new guidelines are much stricter, even chapstick would be worth a call home and a warning." 

Dean's eyebrows went up, "Chapstick? You're kidding." 

"No. And they even require the hairline be visible, so no bangs. It's unreasonable." 

"So Aubrey couldn't hide her birthmark?" Ben said in a harsh tone, startling all of them. 

"Would that be the young lady who wears her hair over her cheek?" Cas asked. 

Ben nodded shyly, realizing all eyes were now on him. 

"If this goes into effect, I'll be calling her parents to discuss options, she may be able to make it less visible with makeup, either way, she'll be given an exception, unfortunately even the exception could make her stand out." 

"Is, um... Is that the girl who doesn't talk much?" Claire asked quietly. 

Cas gave a small shake of his head, "It's middle school and she has a birth mark on her face. I'm sure you can spot why she'd have some self esteem issues." 

"Yeah, well, I'm in, I'll help you fight it. Maybe I can get Kevin to fake me some bangs so you have a chance to bring that up." Claire said, picking up her glass. 

"Can I help?" Ben asked quickly. 

"You want to cut class to help your principal argue with the school board?" Cas asked skeptically. 

"He wants to cut class." Alfie chuckled. 

"It's important! The new rules are crap, I just want to stand up for myself and the other kids." Ben argued, "Dad?" 

"Social disobedience did wonders for suffragettes and the civil rights movement." Cas said quietly. 

"It's one middle school in a small town." Dean replied. 

"Not to the children about to be subjected to the new dress code. This is stuffing them into uniform boxes and punishing them if they don't make a decent brick for the wall." Cas answered. 

Dean nodded, "Okay. Pink Floyd, I get. Ben, this is a one time deal, got it?" 

* * *

Kevin quietly let himself in, and moved through the large empty rooms silently before finding Margaret curled into a ball in the middle of her large bed. 

He held the large bouquet he carried behind his back, and carefully rolled onto the bed without waking her, curling around her smaller frame. 

Margaret hadn't stirred, but against the outside of his forearm, he felt a motion from her stomach. 

He wondered briefly if there was any way the baby could sense his presence, and considered a few things he'd read and a documentary he'd watched about the electric fields of the brain. 

With an amused thought of 'why not,' he shifted his arm away and ran a finger over where he'd felt the movement, thinking with his minds voice very clearly and loudly within his own head, _"I love you, Mike."_

He scooted closer and pressed a kiss to the tip of Margaret's noise, causing her shove him back in a half second of confusion, "What?" 

"I think we both messed up. But I messed up more recently, by being stubborn." Kevin said, his voice quiet. 

"Need sleep... building a kid, here." 

"I'll wait. If you don't mind me staring at you all creepy." 

With a tiny grumble, certain she was going to finish her nap, she grabbed his upper arm and rolled over, pulling his arm over her like a blanket, only to find he was still holding onto the flowers as she wound up with a faceful of the colorful, sweet smelling blooms. 

"Kev, why are there rainbow daisies in my face?" 

"I'll was going to get you roses, but I was worried you'd think it was because I was sorry about poking you with my boner... But I'm not." 

Still groggy and confused, Margaret rolled onto her back, her shoulder wedging firmly against his chest, "You're not sorry?" 

"No. Every time I've poked you with my boner, it's been awesome, so, no roses, unless we come up with a different meaning for roses." 

"Fine... What do rainbow daisies mean? Sorry for waking me up?" 

"No, it means I'm an asshole, and you're right. No more bullshit, if you still want to get back together, I want you back, too, just... Can we agree this is supposed to be a long-term thing?" 

"Long-term? How long-term?" Margaret asked. 

"Um, well, I know you don't want to get married, so, how about just til we're like, ninety? Ninety-five?" Margaret started to giggle as he continued, "But I swear, if you still don't want to get married when we're in our nineties, I'm gonna leave you for a more mature woman who's ready to settle down, stop clubbing every night, and-" 

Margaret cut him off with an intense kiss. 

* * *

In a two bedroom mobile home just outside the city limit, at a small kitchen table, Cyndi sat on top of a thick phone book on a chair that had seen better days. 

Julie and Ivan were talking and laughing as Cyndi carefully scooped up spoonfuls of cheesy rice into her already messy face. 

"So, where did you learn to cook?" Julie asked. 

"My grandma. She got arthritis in her hands, and none of her sons would help her out in the kitchen because they... Well... Anyway, she'd tell me what to do with the small stuff, like grating the broccoli, and then when it got worse, she'd supervise and eventually I took over. Just made whatever she told me to make." 

"I can't believe you got her to eat a vegetable." Julie answered with wonder as Cyndi picked up a few soft shreds of chicken with her hand. 

"I can't believe you freaked out when she picked that strawberry outside and just started eating it." Ivan chuckled. 

"I didn't know what it was, she still puts everything in her mouth. You could have warned me that you were actually growing them on purpose." 

Ivan shrugged, "Just don't tell anybody. They'll take away my man-card." 

"Just say you're a foodie, then nobody would question it." 

"Uh, yeah, no, that would be even worse." Ivan chucked. 

Cyndi raised her arm over the table making a grasping motion at the still half full baking dish on the table, and on instinct, Ivan put another small scoop of cheesy rice and broccoli on her plate. 

"Why do you have a garden? Seems like a lot of work." 

"It takes up space so I don't have to mow anything, it looks better, and I get to make less trips to the grocery store. And it's cheaper." 

"That's just completely bonkers." Julie said quietly, "Do you make quilts, and knit, too?" 

"Now that, I don't do. But the minute you find me a hardcore metal doily pattern, I'm there. Something with skulls and flames." 

* * *

After a late evening coaching to break as many of the new guidelines as possible, Cas and Ben met up with Claire in the antechamber of the school district's annex' main meeting hall. 

Ben tried to sit quietly through the tedious agenda, but the words never seemed to end. He found himself looking at Claire's shoes. They were modest, not heels, had a strap on the back, and were a fuzzy grey. 

He'd seen her in street clothes plenty of times, and of course her coveralls at the shop, but the very professional skirt and blazer with a ruffled blouse were completely throwing him off. She just looked weird, but also way too comfortable. He wondered if she'd make a good spy. 

Finally it was Cas' turn to speak. Ben watched as he stood and went to the front of the room, a thick stack of papers in his hand, and passed them out to the members of the board who were present. 

The only rabbi in the small town, with a congregation so small they met in the Methodist Church on an off day, friends with most of the town, 'Rabbi Jake' as he was affectionately known, was the last, shaking Cas' hand as he accepted the papers Cas offered him. 

"Cas Novak, principal at Crenshaw Middle School... You have sent some strong objections to the new dress code policy in to the district's social media," the woman's voice strained with irritation, "Where parents and students, and the news station in the next town could see it... You've asked to address the board about this before we move for a decision." 

"That's right." Cas replied, "Thanks for having me." 

"Having you? We can't get you to shut up." Don Lytton replied with a chuckle, "What've you got for us?" 

"Well, to start, I would like to remind you that I am, in fact, the father of a teenaged girl, so I assure you I take this matter very seriously." 

"Of course." Don replied with a nod, "Is this her?" 

"It is." Cas replied, waving Claire forward. She stood and moved to stand next to him as he shuffled through his own stack of papers, looking for highlighted portions. 

"A very professional young lady. Business major, if I remember correctly." Rabbi Jake said with a nod, and a knowing look. Claire gave a quick smirk, as it was likely that Rabbi Jake knew exactly what Cas was up to, "I think we can all agree, this is what we want our young people to look up to, isn't it? Put together, and modest." 

A brief round of nods circled between the board members as Cas looked up in confusion, "No. Not at all... Claire, hands to your sides, please." 

Claire dropped her hands to her sides, hoping nothing had shifted to throw off his demonstration, "'Skirts can be no shorter than two full inches past the bottom of the fingertips,' so, that's out. 'Undergarments may not be visible through or around clothing,' now, I'm no expert, but it seems as often as they're visible, I know of no bra that wouldn't break that rule at some point... 'Jewelry is limited to three items, four is excessive,' so, are earrings counted as one? Necklace, bracelet, and a brooch, that's too much. Furthermore, Claire, what is that brooch in the shape of? I don't think they can all see it." 

"The flying spaghetti monster." 

"That's a recognized religious symbol, so it has to go. Cover it up, or take it off. And Rabbi Jake? I understand that of the three of your grandchildren at my school only two wear them, but this would apply for them as well." 

"Is that right?" Rabbi Jake asked in mock surprise. 

"Shoes... For some reason, despite being basic office flats, these are unacceptable. They are neither shiny nor laced. And as we can't see your hairline due to the bangs, there is absolutely nothing acceptable about this outfit." 

"Nothing at all?" Claire feigned shock. 

"No, dear. I have to send you home. According to this," Cas tapped his papers, "You're dressed like a tramp." 

Claire hid another smirk and went back to her seat. 

"Ben? Could you come up here, please?... This my soon-to-be stepson, Ben, at least a couple of you already know him. He's a seventh grader. Now, tween and teen fashion choices aside... Off the top of your head, can you find a reason he'd have to change before being sent to school?" 

"Well, I can't see from here," Don said quickly, "Ben, did you borrow a yarmulka?" 

"No, sir." Ben ducked his head to show that he had nothing on it. 

"Okay... Well..." 

Cas waited patiently as looks of confusion circled the group, "None of you see it?... The credible threat of violence that stands before you, right now? It's as plain as day." 

"All three of you look like you're going to get pictures taken at Sears." Rabbi Jake said clearly, echoing in the stillness of the room. 

Cas gestured to Ben with frustration, "Gang colors. With that blue shirt, he's obviously repping for the Crips." 

Cas couldn't tell if Claire had started to snicker first, or if Rabbi Jake bursting with uncontrolled laughter had set her off, but the point had been made. He gave Ben a pat on the shoulder and sent him back to his seat, picking up another piece of paper. 

"In all seriousness, despite being reasonably dressed, you missed a few more things." Cas gestured to his throat, "When a boy wears a buttoned shirt a white undershirt must be worn beneath it, the collar of which must be visible, the sleeves must not be. The buttoned shirt must be tucked, and a belt must be worn. His jeans are blue, only black denim or khakis are allowed unless it's Friday, laces must match shoes, and... Distracting... Would anyone here care to define for me exactly what is distracting about a hairstyle?... I can tell you right now, what is the most distracting is these unreasonable dress codes. They are impractical, unenforceable, sexist, and discriminatory, not to mention the fact that they are unfairly applied, teaching girls to be ashamed of their bodies and boys that they won't be held accountable for choosing not to behave themselves. If Ben's neon orange shoelaces are such a big distraction that the other students can't learn, we have a much bigger problem, because banning haircuts with bangs has nothing at all to do with education... When I was their age, I was put into a school with uniforms and regulation haircuts. There was no respect for individuality. I won't stand to see the same disregard pushed on my students today, not when they are at a time in their lives when those small choices, the orange shoelaces and the spiked hair are the safest and healthiest way for them to express themselves... If you put these rules into effect, I intend to break them all, myself, one by one." 

"Including the skirt length?" the irritated woman from earlier asked. 

"It would get the news vans out here, wouldn't it?" Cas answered, giving her a hard look in the eye. 

Rabbi Jake shrugged, "He's right... Now, the religious symbols, and that's already federal lawsuit territory, it's a big deal. This is the age where many of these children are reaching out into the wider world, and learning not just what they've been taught to believe, but what they feel is right. And for that reason, for my grandsons, for Claire's Pastafarian brooch, for the little Catholic girl next door to me, I cannot support these new guidelines... Don?" 

Don Lytton chuckled, "'Gang colors'... Okay, the short version? These new rules are going to make life hard for the parents. Kids will just find a way to hide what they're actually wearing and then get sent home later. Let them wear whatever they want. I mean, we all remember the crazy stuff in the late eighties, early nineties, and then grunge came along. As long as the kids are covered and learning, it's fine. Let's stick with what we've got. Eric?" 

* * *

Cas was deeply relieved by the board's decision, but quickly shepherded Ben towards his vehicle as they left the building, Claire having just ducked out moments before. 

"How's it going, Cassie?" 

Cas' shoulders drooped as he turned around, all too familiar with that voice. 

"Gabe. How are you?" 

"Hmwell, I'm good. Would have preferred they'd kept the new rules, if it meant I could drop in on you to see if you'd shaved something interesting into the side of your head." Gabe chuckled, catching up with them, "But in all seriousness, good work today. You really threw 'em for a loop." 

"Yes, well,-" 

"They had it coming. That crap is whatever they drunkenly type up in an email after a panic attack over whatever was on the eleven o'clock news last night." 

At the sound of a quiet chuckle, Cas glanced at Ben. 

"Gettin' hitched, right? Congrats!" Gabe said, leaning back and spreading his hands, "Ben, you know, I knew this guy in his wild and crazy days, and even then he was watching out for people. He's the kinda guy you'd be lucky to call family, so, be good to him, okay?" 

Ben gave a quick nod, Cas gestured toward the car, and Ben moved to get in. 

""Was there anything else you wanted to speak to me about?" 

"Word around town is something happened out at the car repair place." Gabe said quietly. 

"If it had to do with a child being injured in an accident, I was there." 

Gabe nodded, "Sorry. Any time a kid gets hurt, that's rough. But there's a rumor one of the other kids pushed him." 

"There's no truth to it, he fell in front of Claire, Ben was in the middle of climbing down, and the other two boys were on the ground already." 

Gabe gave the car behind Cas a sympathetic glance, "Listen, that Trey kid was around, right? He lives down the block from me. Now, I'm sure you know what you're doing, but I sure as hell wouldn't let any kid of mine near that little shit." 

"Why?" 

"Because the old man next door to me found a brick in his canary cage. Guess where the canary was." 

Cas cringed, "How do you know Trey was involved?" 

"Call it a hunch." Gabe said with a shrug, "If I could prove it, though, I'd turn him in." 

"Well, thank you for warning me, I'll discuss it with Dean." 

* * *


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Part of the Gabe thing, not nearly the background story you want, that'll come later.
> 
> Got a request for a language kink, which gave me a really twisted idea, and I decided to act on it. Also, apparently Google Translate is just awful, so, to keep from butchering it in the story too much, the important stuff is glossed over, then given in English, and the phrases you see should be pretty darn butchered, considering who's speaking them. Anyway, the intended translations will be at the bottom, because I love how the flow of the scene came out. Also, we're not done with it yet, lol! 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Thanks for the reviews! Still plugging away diligently! FW)

* * *

Margaret shifted uncomfortably in the desk chair, her loosened jeans competing with her rounding stomach, and both sides losing. 

The door opened quietly, and Cas stepped inside, "Is Dean in the garage?" 

"Probably. Maybe in his office." 

Alfie came through the hallway, overhearing, "He's getting a part from the yard. He should be back soon." 

He found himself met with a glare that was unmistakably murderous, and given Cas' tendency to stand up for him when Dean wore the same look, he was concerned. 

"Is everything okay?" Alfie asked. 

Margaret looked back and forth between them, but as Cas said something in a harsh tone in French, she picked up her phone from the desk and pretended she wasn't listening. 

Alfie's reply sounded disarming, and she was certain she heard the word Houston in there somewhere, but the context was entirely lost. It was evident that Cas was pissed off, and Alfie was somehow being blamed for it. 

Margaret sent Claire a quick text, 'Ur dad is yelling at ur bf in the shop. Theyre' right next to me, no idea what their sayin' 

Margaret switched to the computer, as she attempted to ignore them both, pulling up customer files at random as Alfie's quieter words were suddenly interrupted from something Cas said rather threateningly before stalking down the hallway past him. 

She'd assumed what she was feeling was awkward anxiety, but when she looked up to find Alfie sitting down on the couch, his head leaned back against the wall in frustration, she realized it was something else. Every way but physically, she felt conflicted, and physically, she felt very different. 

* * *

"Because what I do as a school administrator is completely different from what we decide happens at home." Cas answered Dean firmly. 

Dean shrugged, tugging at the metal edges caked with years of grime, "Messed up kid. What else is new? Seems like a bunch of them around here." 

"Your habit of collecting strays aside, this doesn't sound like the sort of child who just needs some support and understanding, this is truly disturbing behavior. We have no way of knowing how far it could go." 

"If it's true, if this kid is a mess upstairs, he's not gonna get any better where he's at. You change the people you're around, you change your life. I know that's what you'd want for any kid." 

"And what's an acceptable cost for that trade-off? How is it going to change Ben to be around him? Or, what if he does something to the dog? Are you going to be able to forgive yourself?" 

Dean yanked the part out of the junker and stood upright, wiping his forehead with his arm, "Sweetheart, you're driving me crazy, and not in a fun way." 

"This is serious." 

"Okay. Remind me how it went the one time you made a decision for Claire? Told her not to see somebody?" 

"Claire was already in high school." 

"It didn't work. Kids are... You guide 'em, but you can't watch 'em every minute. Ultimately, they make their own decisions." Dean started back to the shop. 

"Dean!" 

"All right! I don't know what to do, okay? Last time I put my foot down, Xander left in an ambulance. I guess talk to Ben, find out what he knows about this kid, and go from there. You want to talk him into staying away from Trey, go for it, but don't you freak out on him when he slips up." 

Cas stopped, "You want me to take the lead in this?" 

"That's how we wanted it, right? We've been over this a million times, we said we'd just leave 'step' out of everything at home, you want to parent him on the big stuff too? We don't have to wait for that. Besides, it was your friend you heard it from." 

"He's not my _friend,_ Dean." 

Dean turned around carefully, hearing a deliberate growl in Cas' voice, "What?... You, um... You guys have history?" 

"Not like that." Cas scoffed, "Technically speaking, he's actually my cousin. My uncle was his biological father." 

"Is that the same uncle that shipped you off because he didn't like kids?" 

"I don't have any others. Gabe is the product of an affair he had with a married woman, the couple decided to keep it quiet, but, it's a small town." 

"Does he know that?" 

"Everyone knows that. We had one very long, very drunken talk about it in college, I offered to work out an arrangement for the family property after his father passed, but he said he didn't want anything to do with it. I'll admit, we nearly made it to an actual friendship, but... he's an asshole." 

Dean shook his head, and started to walk away, "Okay, I wanna hear about that later, but, right now, I have to get this cleaned up." 

"Get back here, I'm not done with you yet." Cas snapped. 

Dean hurriedly turned around and stepped closer to him, giving his soiled hands a quick look of resignation before leaning in close and kissing Cas softly. 

"Can I get back to work now?" Dean asked quietly. 

Cas nodded, and started for the road. 

* * *

Kevin's eyes went wide, not that she could see it as he lay behind her, his chest press firmly to her back, she'd had trouble looking him in the eye to begin with, "Really?" 

"Shut up, it's gross." 

"Is not gross. You're not gross." 

"That's... that is just the weirdest thing ever." Margaret replied with an uncomfortable squirm. 

"Do you think it was because they were arguing? Because you've been around them discussing Claire's graduation and Christmas gifts before." Kevin waited briefly, but got no reply, "Unless, y'know, this has happened before... Or it could be building up, it just kicked into the express lane because hormones." 

"Yeah, but-" 

"I know how to figure out what this is real fast. But at the same time, you're already uncomfortable." 

Margaret pressed his arm against her body tighter, "What?" 

"Well, I've been hanging out with the guy since before we started school, so, at some point I picked up a little bit, just tell me if it's working for you." 

"Okay," Margaret replied tentatively. 

"Je suis désolé. J'ai mis du lait sur la chaise." 

"What does that mean?" Margaret asked. 

"Shhhh... Je ne peux pas trouver ma pomme de terre." 

"Kev..." Margaret shifted, rolling over to face him, her breathing clearly quickened. 

"Do you want me to keep going?" Kevin asked gently. 

Margaret nodded, running her fingers over the side of his face. 

"And you have no idea what I'm saying, either." Kevin said with a chuckle, "To be honest, I don't remember a lot of it. Just stuff I picked up from him and his mom." 

"Don't talk about him right now, he doesn't exist." Margaret said quickly, trying to get Kevin to stop saying things she understood. 

"Votre mère est si grosse, elle met de la mayonnaise à l'aspirine." Kevin said softly, trying to keep a straight face. 

"You really think this is funny?" Margaret asked. 

"No! ...Well, it kind of is, but, not like that." 

Margaret started to pull away in frustration, sitting up. Kevin half sat up himself, catching her shoulder. 

"Sorry, just, I'm trying to remember the words... Um ... Votre mère est si grosse, ...son nombril a un écho." 

Margaret gave a whisper of a whimper and turned around, kissing him deeply, pressing him back down onto the bed as she climbed on top of him. She soon freed his mouth to move to his neck, "Keep going." 

"Ce chat est très moche... Je suis un chapeau sombre." 

Margaret's fingers curled in the fabric of his shirt, and she sat up, straddling his hips, "Take my clothes off." 

"But I have to go in ten minutes." Kevin sputtered. 

"Kev!" Margaret whined, desperate for him. 

"I've got class, babe." Kevin said, looking up at her, and catching a hint of a tremble, "This really messed you up, huh? ...Okay, no, I got you." 

Kevin rolled her with a hint of roughness onto her back, settling against her, "Voulez-vous un morceau de gâteau? Celui-ci n'a pas de poivre." 

Margaret gasped loudly, grasping at his shoulders and trying to move against him, protesting as he backed up a bit, slipping his hand down her jeans, bringing his lips to hers as he touched her gently and found her already soaked. 

Kevin whispered against her lips as his touch increased in firmness, "I love you, Margaret... Vous êtes si belle. Nous devrions sortir." 

Margaret kissed him hard as she shook slightly, having been wound so tightly, so quickly, that she hadn't needed much more. Kevin knew her body from years of practice, and her newfound pleasure was only one more thing he'd learn to use. 

He was gentle and loving as she slowly relaxed, even while she clung to him like her life depended on it. 

"Better?" 

Margaret let out a shaky sound somewhere between a laugh and a whimper as Kevin withdrew his hand from her clothes, "This whole thing is messing me up, isn't it?" 

"I have no complaints. You know how I feel about fun-buttons." Kevin answered. 

"'Made to be pushed,' I know." Margaret chuckled, still hazy, "Are you coming back later?" 

"Sure... And if you're asleep, then I can just hold you all night." 

* * *

With Cas' words ringing in his ears even louder than the bike, Alfie made his way home. Not much of a home, not for him, but close enough. 

The Chevelle was on the curb, and at first, he felt relief. It didn't last. 

Closing the garage door and going inside, as he'd half expected, he found Claire sitting on the floor in his bedroom, her back against the side of the bed, typing furiously on her laptop. 

Alfie hesitated in the doorway, and she looked up with a smile so few people ever got to see. 

"Hey. I figured I'd bring dinner, but apparently Mike doesn't like Chinese food." 

Alfie nodded blankly, unaware of how much his stress showed. 

"What?" 

He shook his head, "Just, um..." 

"God, what did he say to you?" Claire asked, setting the laptop aside. 

Knowing well exactly what would happen if he stepped in the room, he turned away, "It's not important." 

"Bullshit, it's not." Claire replied, getting to her feet. 

Alfie turned in the hallway and stared into the small bathroom across from his door for a moment before continuing down the hall into his mother's old room. 

"Tell me what he said." 

"I never tell you, why would I tell you now?" Alfie asked as he walked. 

"You're a mess this time... Fine, don't tell me, I'll just yell at him later." 

"Does he tell you?" Alfie asked quietly as Claire continued to dog his steps toward the master bath. 

"No. And that bugs the crap out of me when you get like this." 

"How did you even know?" 

"Margaret sent me a text while it was happening. I tried to call to shut him up, but he left his phone in the car again." 

Alfie sat down on the edge of the large, deep tub, and started the water running. 

"What are you doing?" 

"I'm gonna be in here for a while." 

Claire was almost able to drag her eyes away as he stripped off his shirt, "Do you want me to go?" 

"That's up to you." 

"If you did want me to leave, would you even say so? Or would you just clam up, too scared that I wouldn't come back? ...Because I'd really like to know you're comfortable enough to tell me to go, sometimes." Claire said softly. 

Alfie shrugged, "I've never wanted you away from me. I have dreams sometimes where we are literally chained together, just hanging out, and, as psycho as that sounds, I feel happy. Even when we argue, I still want you close. But that's not what you need... I'm just- ...I just need to think for a while." 

"So, if you weren't a mess, maybe you would want some alone-time. So I'm gonna go finish my paper, it's almost done, and then I'll be back, maybe then we can talk about this like human beings." 

Alfie gave a silent, and fairly emotional nod, and Claire left the room. 

He was soon out of the rest of his clothes and in the deepening water, Cas' words on repeat. It wasn't the detailed threat that bothered him, he'd grown used to those. Cas would normally apologize later, after they were on better terms again, surely a knee-jerk reaction he'd have concerning anyone involved with Claire. It was the disappointed insult that ate at him. 

_"How many times have I looked the other way, telling myself she was safe with you? You proved me wrong, and it makes me question everything else."_

He hadn't had to ask what else. The last time Dean had been ready to kill him, Cas had spelled it out, _"...loves and respects my daughter."_

* * *

Cas' phone began to ring half way up the stairs. He'd heard the shower shut off upstairs and started the dishwasher. He stopped, and started back down the stairs, not wanting to wake Ben. 

"Claire, is everything all right?" 

"Uh, I don't know. Alfie's acting really weird. Usually he's happy to see me, but if he were capable of it, I'd think he was avoiding me... And Margaret said you were yelling at him." 

"I wasn't yelling." 

"He 'doesn't yell' even more than you 'don't yell,' so you want to explain this? Or tell me what you didn't yell at him?" 

"Claire..." 

"You broke my boyfriend, dad! God, he is the quietest, nicest person in the whole world and you know that, so why the hell did you do that? You guys were fine the other day at dinner, what happened?" 

"I hadn't had a chance to speak to him privately-" 

"Do you mean in front of me? Because Margaret was there. Or is 'privately' a euphemism for 'away from anyone who would call you on your shit?'" 

"Claire, this is betwe-" 

"Don't you dare say it's none of my business, because I'm going be here trying to sort him out. So, if that doesn't spell out my priorities, I don't know what would." 

Cas was about to say more, but the call ended abruptly. Claire marched back up the driveway and slipped into the house as quietly as she'd left it. 

She soon returned to the bath in the corner of the house she was aware existed, but wasn't sure she'd ever been in before. 

"Hey," she said quietly from the doorway. 

Alfie looked up from where he seemed sunk into the hot water, but also in defeat. 

"Brought you a plate." 

Alfie attempted a smile and failed, "Thanks, but I'm really not hungry." 

Claire set the plate down on the bathroom counter, "Okay, so, I picked all the carrot pieces out of the fried rice for nothing?" 

"What are you doing?" Alfie asked as Claire started slipping out of her clothes. 

"Getting in with you. I figured that was a good reason for the bigger tub." she answered, "Unless you want space." 

When Alfie didn't answer, she climbed in over him, leaning in close to kiss him softly. Alfie wrapped her in a tight embrace, surprising her as he guided her head to lay on his shoulder, pressing his lips to her shoulder. 

"What's wrong?" 

Claire felt it as he shook his head, "Everything about Houston... I'm sorry." 

"I thought we were past that?" Claire asked, running her hand up his arm. 

"I love you, I mean that, and I just shouldn't have left your side. If I'd stayed with you the whole time, or if you didn't go, nothing would have happened." 

"Nothing happened." 

Alfie scoffed, " _Something_ happened." 

"Nothing bad happened. You kept me safe. I didn't wind up duct taped in someone's trunk." 

Alfie's arms grew even tighter, "I would do anything for you... If you asked me to, I'd cut out my own heart for you." 

"Do not Van Gogh me! ...It's just a bloody meat chunk if it's not beating." Claire answered quickly, running her hand over his chest. "And anyway, I like you better when all your pieces are where they're supposed to be." 

"You were walking all over the gallery, and outside." Alfie said quietly, "If we stayed, or if it happened earlier..." 

"You can't keep doing this, staying stuck on this one idea. I could distract you." 

Alfie shook his head and mumbled, "I don't want to have sex right now." 

"What?" Claire asked, taken aback, "Is that even possible for guys?... I mean, why?" 

"I just don't." 

"Okay... Is it because of me?" 

"No." 

Claire pressed a kiss to his neck, not having to move much to do so, and tried to relax in the hot water. 

* * *

Dean was a little surprised to see the Chevelle in the driveway when he started for the shop. 

He was even more surprised when he heard the shop door as he was opening the bays, and Claire was clocking in. 

"You're in early." 

"Covering for Randy. Dentist." 

Dean nodded, noting by her demeanor that she still seemed to be displeased with his existence, "What time is Alfie getting in?" 

"After I'm out for the class I've got at one." 

"Okay, what about later on?" 

Claire actually looked at him, "What? Just spill it." 

"Today?... It's, um... Bobby." 

Claire's expression barely changed, but he was sure he got through. 

"We talked about it months ago, I picked up the non-alcoholic beer like I said." 

Claire nodded, "Yeah, okay... Seven? Pretty sure dad won't mind pushing dinner." 

Dean nodded, "Yeah, there was something else, you know, I know we've got the whole family therapy thing right now, but, just, y'know, between you and me-" 

"Getting used to the whole step-dad thing?" 

"Well, actually, um, I don't know. I mean, you're an adult, so-" 

"So you don't want to be like my step-dad." Claire said quietly, "Since I'm not a kid, and not exactly planning on sticking around, I meant to be out by now. If things went right, we never would have even been living in the house at the same time... I get it. It's okay, you know. Hell, if I got out of your way sooner, maybe you and dad wouldn't have taken so long to move in together." 

"Actually, since you're of age, I was hoping we could look at an adult adoption, make it official." Dean replied, noticing Claire's immediately startled look, "It's a real thing, I actually had Bobby adopt me when I was twenty-two. It wouldn't change anything between you and your dad, and it would make it easier to leave you stuff in my will, legally, you'd be Ben's sister, so if anything happened to me and Cas, you'd have rights where he's concerned... if that's something you want to do." 

Claire felt her chin tremble, "Are you serious?" 

"Yeah, I'm serious. I haven't said anything to your dad yet, but I don't think he-" 

Dean was cut off by an intensely tight set of arms around his ribcage. 

Claire was clearly trying to hold back, but her voice started to crack as she spoke, "I thought you guys were getting sick of me." 

"No... Don't ever think that." Dean replied, returning her hug, "This is a family, we just haven't done the paperwork yet, you're part of that, leaving home doesn't change it... And, come to think of it, we do this, you'd be Bobby's granddaughter, too." 

* * *

Ben looked around between the adults at the table, and couldn't place any of their weird reactions. 

He had assumed Dean was still persona non grata, but Claire appeared to have let it go. Cas was acting as though everything was normal, although it certainly couldn't be, because Claire was being short with him, which was confusing Dean, and Alfie was quiet, which was normal, but also trying his best not to make eye contact with anyone. 

The minimal and false conversation fell to an uncomfortable lull, and Ben decided to jump in with a question that had been weighing on him for some time. 

"What are we going to do about last names?" 

"What?" Dean asked, surprised. 

"Well, if you guys get married, aren't you supposed to have the same name?" 

Cas nodded, "Not necessarily. And if we were going to do something like that, there are several options, he and I might hyphenate both names, or we could all do that, um..." 

"Just take the first two letters of both," Claire mused, "Then we can all be the Wino family." 

Dean chuckled, "Not gonna happen. Nice try, though." 

"What's that mean?" Ben asked. 

"Boozehound." Claire explained. 

"Thank you, Claire, that's enough." Cas said dismissively, "Though I'm sure between you and your friends he's getting quite the education." 

Claire shrugged, "The goat wasn't as much fun as we thought. Could barely do a keg stand." 

"Amateurs." Dean chuckled, "Everyone knows you need pigs for keg stands, goats are for clean up after the party." 

Cas gave Dean a stern look, "Are you really going to encourage this right now?" 

"Right. Okay. Claire... No more partying with barnyard animals. It's zoo animals or nothing from here on out." Dean said quietly. 

Ben burst with laughter, "Yeah, let's go steal some animals from the zoo. I'm gonna get one of those little deers that are the size of a cat, so as soon as I get a phone, I can send girls pictures of my dik dik." 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Intended Translations... I'm sure it's awful, but still, very funny.
> 
> * * *
> 
> "Well, I've been hanging out with the guy since before we started school, so, at some point I picked up a little bit, just tell me if it's working for you." 
> 
> "Okay," Margaret replied tentatively. 
> 
> " _I am very sorry. I put the milk on the chair_." 
> 
> "What does that mean?" Margaret asked. 
> 
> "Shhhh... _I cannot find my potato_." 
> 
> "Kev..." Margaret shifted, rolling over to face him, her breathing clearly quickened. 
> 
> "Do you want me to keep going?" Kevin asked gently. 
> 
> Margaret nodded, running her fingers over the side of his face. 
> 
> "And you have no idea what I'm saying, either." Kevin said with a chuckle, "To be honest, I don't remember a lot of it. Just stuff I picked up from him and his mom." 
> 
> "Don't talk about him right now, he doesn't exist." Margaret said quickly, trying to get Kevin to stop saying things she understood. 
> 
> " _Your mama's so fat, she puts mayonnaise on aspirin_." Kevin said softly, trying to keep a straight face. 
> 
> "You really think this is funny?" Margaret asked. 
> 
> "No! ...Well, it kind of is, but, not like that." 
> 
> Margaret started to pull away in frustration, sitting up. Kevin half sat up himself, catching her shoulder. 
> 
> "Sorry, just, I'm trying to remember the words... Um ... _Your mama's so fat, ... her bellybutton has an echo_." 
> 
> Margaret gave a whisper of a whimper and turned around, kissing him deeply, pressing him back down onto the bed as she climbed on top of him. She soon freed his mouth to move to his neck, "Keep going." 
> 
> " _This cat is ugly... I am a dark hat_." 
> 
> Margaret's fingers curled in the fabric of his shirt, and she sat up, straddling his hips, "Take my clothes off." 
> 
> "But I have to go in ten minutes." Kevin sputtered. 
> 
> "Kev!" Margaret whined, desperate for him. 
> 
> "I've got class, babe." Kevin said, looking up at her, and catching a hint of a tremble, "This really messed you up, huh? ...Okay, no, I got you." 
> 
> Kevin rolled her with a hint of roughness onto her back, settling against her, " _Do you want a piece of cake? This one has no pepper._ " 
> 
> Margaret gasped loudly, grasping at his shoulders and trying to move against him, protesting as he backed up a bit, slipping his hand down her jeans, bringing his lips to hers as he touched her gently and found her already soaked. 
> 
> Kevin whispered against her lips as his touch increased in firmness, "I love you, Margaret... _You're so beautiful. We should date._ ")


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: There's some horrible awkwardness of an adult nature in this chapter, because pregnancy dreams are just... off-the-wall bonkers. Absolutely crazy.
> 
> I had been hoping about two thirds of the way through the first installment to have Rowena be a Women's Studies professor at Claire and Margaret's college, but it just didn't fit, since we're not getting into that too deeply, and Kevin would have been more likely to take the course... Then this kind of slapped me in the face. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! FW)

* * *

Dean had sent Claire and Alfie on ahead with the first of two six-packs, presumably to speak to either Ben, Cas, or both. 

Claire was about to go up the steps of Bobby's old house, but Alfie quickly dropped to the steps, and she had some idea why. 

She took one of the non-alcoholic beers, Bobby's brand, from the cardboard carrier and passed it to him as she went up the steps, tugged one of the chairs over to where it had sat years before, and sat down, setting the carrier down where the cooler had been kept. 

Alfie opened his bottle as Claire picked up one for herself, "You never told me how you met him." 

"I didn't?" 

Alfie shook his head. 

Further off, between rusted shells of cars, Claire spotted Dean on the road, carrying the second pack of beers, making his way to their location, and decided to wait, "Yeah, well... Did you go to the funeral?" 

"No... I, um... I didn't really leave the house for a week." Alfie replied softly. 

"I didn't go, but, I had school. I didn't really tell anybody I knew him. My dad thought I was just helping him, bringing him his mail because he was old." Claire said, pausing to take a sip, "How come I never saw you? I mean, every time I would come over here, sometimes for an hour or two? I know I saw your car leave a couple of times." 

"Oh... Well, I was hiding. Any time this hot girl showed up to talk to my boss, and I was sure I had no chance with her because she was out of my league and had a boyfriend... I would just find something else to do." 

"You were hiding from me?" Claire asked. 

Alfie shrugged, "He kept saying he was going to rat me out, and one time he... I guess he saw you headed for the mailbox, sent me inside to get a book for him, but I heard you guys talking, and went out the back door." 

"So you're a ninja with zero self esteem. Okay." Claire responded, watching as Dean approached. 

Dean went straight for the second chair, opening a bottle as he sat down, "We should've done this sooner." 

"Claire was just about to say how she met Bobby-" 

"Yeah, but it turns out that Alfie was hiding from me every time I came over here." 

Dean chuckled, "Yeah, Bobby told me about that. He said, uh... 'runs away with his tail tucked every time this little girl stops by.' I get it now... It really took the bike accident to get you to stop running off, huh?" 

"I almost quit." Alfie answered, making them all laugh. 

"You weren't gonna quit." Dean replied, "The job and the Trans were your only connection to other people." 

"I was going to. Obviously I couldn't after Claire started talking to me." Alfie joked, "Okay, c'mon, you both know how I met Bobby, we need some stories." 

Dean nodded, "Okay, yeah... uh... breaking and entering... I was going to clear out his register and look for anything I could sell. He stuck a twelve gauge in my face, and sat me down for an hour long lecture, then he gave me a job." 

"You were the jackass?" Alfie asked quietly. 

"Yeah," Dean nodded, "I was the jackass... How about you, Claire?" 

"Uh... My mom called, said I had to come back, said I was a horrible person, and just using my dad, said he wasn't even my real father, and I freaked out, just wanted to be somewhere else... So, I get to the end of the road, it's supposed to rain, and I'm getting the mail. This box came for him, it was going to get soaked, so I brought it over here... He said I was a mess and asked if I was having problems with my dad, sent me home with a gun." 

"And no firing pin." Dean added. 

"Right. But I didn't know that." 

Alfie leaned back against the railing, "Why would he think it was your dad?" 

"Because his own father beat the shit out of him his whole life, starting when he was still in diapers." Dean said softly, "That's why he never had kids of his own." 

"Why would he tell you that?" Claire asked, somewhat horrified. 

"Because he knew I would relate." Dean answered. 

"So, if he adopted you, then how come Ben never learned to call him grandpa?" 

Dean scoffed, "I wasn't about to open that can of worms, 'uncle' was good enough for Bobby." 

"He was really more your dad, though, wasn't he?" Alfie asked. 

"Yeah. Yeah, he was. But he was a lot of things to a lot of people. That's a life well-lived." 

* * *

Cas sat cross-legged with Ben in the small walk-in closet again, working through a rematch on the video game, but with a different motive. 

With Ben's attention firmly fixed on the game, Cas had begun to asked questions about Trey, and the comment about the mayor's wife's poodle and the water tower had come out. 

"Do you think he would do something like that?" Cas asked. 

Ben shrugged, "The haircut, yeah, probably. I don't know about the water tower... But I don't think he'd put the dog back after, maybe just set it loose." 

"That's still concerning." 

"Yeah, 'cuz it could get run over." Ben answered absently, "I don't know, Jack is always trying to impress him, act tough, he wants to kind of start hanging around with these eighth graders Trey is always getting in trouble with." 

"What about you? Is that something you want to do?" 

"Not really. Those guys are jerks... And anyway, Claire said it's all for show, and real badasses never get in trouble, because they don't do stupid stuff just to get caught." 

"What else does Claire tell you?" 

Ben shrugged, "Stuff about girls." 

"About girls?" 

"Yeah, like how to talk to them, or get them to leave you alone... I still can't get Millie to back off." 

Cas was puzzled for a moment, "I'm surprised you would talk to Claire about that instead of your father." 

"Well, dad might know about girls, but he's not one, and he's old, so I figured Claire would have better advice." 

Cas gave a nod, "I see... Well, some advice is universal, and works regardless of age or gender, or orientation." 

"Like what?" 

"Be honest, be direct, and be kind." Cas replied, reaching for his drink, "Of course, if you can, you should try to do all three, no matter who you're speaking of." 

"Claire said I should friend zone Millie, but I don't know how to do that without hurting her feelings." 

"Tell her she's a nice person, but you don't want to be involved, then ask if she wants you to set her up with any of your friends." 

Ben paused the game, "Does that work?" 

"Of our entire household, I'm fairly certain I have the most experience rejecting women. Trust me." 

It took Ben a moment to wrap his mind around Cas' words, but when it clicked, he started to laugh, "Okay. Okay, I'll do that. But she's not gonna think I'm gay, is she?" 

"I can't tell you what she'll think, but if you're interested in someone else, you could say so, but I wouldn't mention who, in case she's jealous." 

* * *

"It was supposed to be _round._ I was very clear." 

"It is round. I rounded it. I can't make a nail spherical, and that's the only way it's going to get any rounder." Kevin argued with the instructor. 

"Um, it looks round to me, and I really don't want my nails any shorter." Kaya spoke up. 

"Right here, though. There's a straight angle. Any bloody git could see it!" 

One of the other young women in the class wondered over, "Uh, Miss Rowena, it looks better than mine, and you said mine was great." 

"It's a fine art, and he's not even trying to master it!" Rowena complained. 

"What's that supposed to mean? You can't tell if I'm trying or not, unless you're a mind reader." Kevin said tersely. 

"I know I've had better male students than you, and they still failed." she answered. 

Kevin shrugged, "I must have missed the part where you said you have to be a girl to do this, but if you want to put it in writing for me, I'm sure someone higher up would love to see it." 

A hushed murmur circled the room before it went deadly quiet. Rowena went almost as red as her hair, and Kaya spoke up again, "I'm really happy with my nails, Miss Rowena. Kevin did a great job, and he helped me find a better color. Look, he got the design perfectly aligned and everything. My mom goes to a really high end place, and her nails never look this good." 

"Fine!" Rowena declared in a lighter voice, "Yours passes. But only due to customer satisfaction." 

Kevin started to clean up the station, easing only slightly as Rowena walked away to check other students' work. 

"Wow," Kaya said quietly, "After the bob-fiasco, I'm totally sure she has it out for you. You need to tell somebody for the school." 

"Yeah, but if I can't pass on merit, just because she doesn't want to get fired, then I won't be any good at it. If I let her keep me clinging on by my fingernails, I'll come out of this being the absolute best." 

"Really? That's your plan?" Kaya scoffed. 

"That my plan. I'm gonna be the very best." 

"Don't quote Pokémon to me." 

"Okay. How about Braveheart?" 

"Get her to quote Braveheart while she's got some of that blue seaweed mask on, and I'll owe you a Starbucks run." 

Kevin laughed, "She won't do it for me. She hates my guts." 

"Yeah, but that's your plan. Just don't overdo it." 

* * *

_Margaret listened politely as Dean passed her a cup of hot tea and sat down on the couch near her chair._

_Dean kept talking about medical things related to pregnancy and birth, and shooting the odd glance toward the kitchen where faint voices were growing raised._

_Margaret was sure he was saying something about pre-eclampsia, but she couldn't make out his words. Any words, for that matter._

_"Are they okay in there? Cas sounds pretty mad." Margaret asked, concerned._

_Dean shrugged, and waved it off, "They're fine. They'll work it out. And speaking of working out, you need to go easy on that, but make sure you're actually doing it. Mild exercise. Don't do anything that makes you dizzy."_

_Margaret nodded, but as Dean continued to speak, her attention was drawn past him to the kitchen doorway as Cas dragged Alfie out of the kitchen, and pressed him against a wall, growling something in his oddly accented French that sounded different from Alfie's, and she couldn't help staring._

_"Dean... He's gonna kill him this time. Pretty sure."_

_Dean sat up a little straighter and looked over the back of the couch just as Cas claimed Alfie's mouth in an impassioned kiss. Dean turned back around, "See? They always work it out."_

_Margaret stared at him in shock and gestured to them at a loss for words, managing only a weak and confused mumble, "But... um... He..."_

_Dean shook his head with a chuckle as Alfie's hands tangled in Cas' clothes, "Don't worry about it. But you really need to make sure you keep taking those vitamins, even after the baby's born."_

_Margaret was torn between arousal and horror, as with Alfie's soft and indistinguishable words, Cas pulled him toward the floor behind the couch._

_"Okay, I can't. This is just some kind of messed up Jerry Springer crap ri-" Margaret was cut off by an unsettlingly loud pleasured groan, and tight-lipped whispers she couldn't understand._

"Holy shit, that's crazy..." Kevin muttered as Margaret rolled over. 

Kevin was massaging one hand with the other. 

"Hey." she said sleepily, still shaken by her dream, "Were you talking to me?" 

"Not since I figured out you were asleep. You okay, gorgeous?" 

Margaret cringed. 

* * *

Ben had had a few nightmares, Claire had tried to help by fixing him toast but burnt it, and the last seat on the bus was next to Jack, who'd kept trying to talk to him. 

It was not an easy morning. 

After getting to homeroom, he finally realized there was a substitute teacher, and braced himself for the usual shenanigans he'd grown to expect, but wondered how it would start without Xander. 

It only took this sub three minutes to get the class to settle, and with a pinched expression, she'd begun the lesson. 

Ben tried to pay attention, but soon enough he felt a hard flick against the back of his ear, likely from Millie, who sat behind him, startling him, and making him drop his book loudly. 

Racing to retrieve it from the floor, Ben only realized he'd sworn when he looked up at the now silent sub. 

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth, child?" she asked harshly. 

He felt a pressure building he hadn't caved to since a bad summer fight with Jack a year ago. 

"My mom is dead, ma'am." 

The nearly elderly woman gave a haughty harumph, and crossed her arms, "And before that happened, did she teach you where _liars_ go when they die?" 

Ben gave her a hard look, but didn't answer. Jack knew the look, and caught it immediately. 

"Ma'am?" Jack spoke up, "He's not lying. His mom died. I've been to his house." 

"I wasn't speaking to you. Keep quiet." she replied, turning back to Ben, "Answer." 

Ben refused to comply, not trusting his own voice. 

"Answer the question or you can start your day in the office." she hissed. Which another three seconds of glare from Ben, she shrugged, "Get out." 

Jack piped up once more as Ben gathered his books, "If you're gonna be a bitch about it, you can just send me, too." 

She wheeled around to face Jack, incensed by his words, "Excuse me?" 

"Oh, sorry, enunciation... I SAID IF YOU'RE GONNA BE A BITCH TO BEN ABOUT HIS DEAD MOM, YOU CAN SEND. ME. TOO!" 

* * *

Cas left his office for another cup of coffee, well aware he was going to need it, only to find Paula speaking to Ben, who was seething and shaking, and Jack, who was standing next to him speaking quietly. 

Paula was looking at two different notes, and turned around when Cas spoke. 

"Ben? What's wrong?" 

Jack started to explain, something about the substitute, and Ben turned and snapped at him, "Would you just shut the hell up?" 

Cas gently snagged both referral slips from Paula's hand, and gestured to his office, filing in behind the boys. Jack immediately took a seat, still quiet from Ben's outburst. 

"Ben, what happened?" 

Ben shook his head, still outraged as tears began to flow in silent anger. 

"Um, the sub was messing with him. It was about his mom." Jack said quietly. 

Cas pulled Ben into a tight hug, not minding the tears, "What about you, Jack? How'd you get mixed up in this?" 

"I called her a bitch... Then I yelled it. But for what she was saying, she deserved a whole lot worse." 

"Worse?" 

"Yeah. My mom called somebody a -" 

"That's enough." Cas said. 

"'Kay... Anyway, she called Ben a liar about his mom being dead, and said stuff about where liars go when they die." 

Cas nodded, "I'm sure you understand how your response was absolutely unacceptable behavior for school." 

Jack nodded. 

"However, if you'd been able to do that without swearing, I could have let you go with just a note home." 

Jack gave a resigned nod, and the door cracked open. 

Hannah stepped inside quietly, "Paula said there might be another conflict I should handle?" 

"Not for this," Cas said as Ben pulled away and went for the tissue box on Cas' desk, "Jack is, unfortunately, going to be getting a call home. His reaction was warranted, but not his language, and once Ben composes himself, he'll be going back to class. Who do we have who can cover for Mrs. Durst?" 

* * *

Dean's words echoed as Ivan headed into the diner, _"Not paying you to flirt with waitresses."_

Alfie had chosen to ride along, and as it was a slow day, Dean had had no objections. 

"So, should I watch you guys so you have a witness for later in case Claire freaks out?" 

Alfie chuckled, "She trusts me." 

Ivan scoffed, "All women say that. Then they check your phone when you fall asleep." 

"No, they check _your_ phone. Claire wouldn't do that." 

"Why not?" 

"Because she's the only one I'm obsessed with, and she knows it." 

"Freak." 

Once inside, Julie greeted Ivan with a big smile, and then Alfie with a more surprised expression. Ivan scooped Cyndi up from her spot in a high chair, and turned back to Julie, "Gonna be a few more minutes, right?" 

"Um, yeah. You guys want a table?" 

Ivan shrugged, "Nah, we're just going to stand at the window by the road and look at cars." 

Julie gave a small laugh as he walked away with Cyndi, and then turned to Alfie, "I never see you in here, how's it going?" 

"Uh, it's going well. Claire told me you gave her your number, but it got ruined in the wash, so..." 

"Yeah, I did. I was hoping to talk to you, I just... I'm trying to, uh..." 

"Be a better person?... That's what I heard. And I think that's a good idea." 

Julie looked embarrassed, "It's just, Cyndi..." 

"Yeah. It's a good reason, I understand." Alfie said quietly. 

"I don't want her to turn out like I did. And I'm so sorry, really. And when you called me a pig, I had it coming, I was acting like one." 

"She won't turn out like you did. Not if your mom is any indication." Alfie replied. 

Julie looked for a moment like she might cry, "How do you know?" 

"Well, if your mom had decided when you were a baby that she was going to change like this, you would have turned out different. But I doubt she would have done that, just thinking about how Dean kicked her out of his office that time. You made a choice not to be like that, so, Cyndi's going to be completely different." 

"I really hope you're right." Julie said quietly, glancing at the other end of the diner where Cyndi, on Ivan's hip, was pointing out the window to vehicles as they passed, "So, I know I was horrible to you, but can you forgive me?" 

"Yeah. Absolutely. And I really respect that you're doing this." Alfie replied. 

Julie was about to say more, but Ivan was walking back over with Cyndi, and Julie did what she could to straighten her expression. 

"C'mon, tell your mom what you said." Ivan prompted. 

"Fye-twuck." Cyndi replied. 

"And what color is a firetruck?" 

"Red!" 

Julie's face lit up as she began praising Cyndi's language efforts, and took her back from Ivan, "I'll go see how much longer it's going to be." 

* * *

Cas took Hannah with him as he approached the classroom, not trusting his coming reaction, though he'd done his best to calm down first. 

Summoning the sub to the hallway, Hannah stepped into the open door to watch the class as Cas led the sub out of sight, and hopefully earshot, of the students. 

"I have a young man in my office right now who says you made comments about his deceased mother." Cas said quietly, but firmly. 

"You don't actually buy that, do you?" 

"I do. I just thought I'd give you a chance to explain yourself." 

"Kids lie about stuff like that to get attention. They should be called on it." 

"Ben went through something very traumatic with her death, and dragging it out in front of his classmates, even if he were lying, was inexcusable. Furthermore, comments about any sort of hell are not part of your job." 

The woman looked unimpressed and stood straighter, " _My_ personal faith is protected by my constitutional rights-" 

"The personal faiths of those children are also protected, and as you're supposed to be in a position of authority over these minors, you are supposed to keep your mouth shut." 

"If I have to suffer for my beliefs-" 

"No one is asking you to suffer, only not to inflict them on children. If that interferes with your ability to teach, you shouldn't be teaching. Remember that when you sub at other schools, because you're no longer welcome here." 

The woman was fuming as she went back into the classroom to collect her things, and started for the office. 

Cas shot Hannah a questioning look, and she replied with an A.-Okay hand gesture. 

* * *

"Hey, Ben?" Jack said quietly. 

"What?" Ben growled from the chair in the other side of the small room. 

Jack shifted, "Xander's coming to my house when he gets out of the hospital in a couple days." 

"So?" 

"So, do you want to come over? We can get Trey to go, too, like a 'hey, you're not dead' party." 

Ben shook his head, "God, you're such a dumbass." 

"What? It's a good plan." 

"You don't throw a party for someone who's supposed to be resting. He needs to heal up." 

Jack shrugged, "Yeah, but, if you go, we can get Millie there, maybe some of her friends. Not a total sausage fest." 

"Millie only hangs out with boys." 

Jack was quiet for a moment as he seemed to think it over, "Do you think she's a lesbian?... Well, she might be, she likes you." 

"Why are you even here? You couldn't just let me get kicked out of class by myself?" 

"Because you would never cuss at a teacher, wuss." 

"Now you're in trouble for nothing." 

"It's not nothing. You're still pissed off at me, whatever, but that wrinkly old hag was being a bitch about your mom. I got your back, Ben." 

"You got my back by cussing out a teacher. How is that not the most dumbass idea ever?" Ben asked. 

"Whatever. Are you coming over when Xander gets out?" 

Ben shrugged, "Yeah." 

"Awesome." 

* * *


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Okay, folks... Sibling bonding, intense wedding planning, a ship is added that I'm still on the fence about despite being planned for, parent/child drinking, heartache, and sexy-times.
> 
> Love you all! Thanks for reading! FW)

* * *

Cas had headed back to the office as Hannah waited with the class, and wound up waiting in the wings, overhearing the substitute complaining about him as she signed out. 

He was hopeful that she was talking out of her ass as she suggested she'd be registering a complaint with the school district. 

The moment the door closed behind her, he rounded the corner and went straight to the conference room where he'd left Ben and Jack. The boys were talking quietly, and he caught some small mention of Xander as he entered the room. 

"All right, gentlemen, Ms Rowland is handling the class until the next sub can get here, Ben..." Cas found himself at a loss for for words as he examined Ben's face, "Ben, you can go back to class." 

Ben nodded and got up to leave, letting the door swing shut, and Cas turned to Jack, "You had to say it? You couldn't possibly think of an alternative word?" 

"Sorry... I didn't mean it." 

"Yes, you did. But I'm limited to what I can say in front of you, and I need to call your father... Back to class. And next time, use a five-dollar word instead. It surprises the teacher long enough to keep them from kicking you out of class." 

"Like what?" Jack asked. 

"'Vituperator' would be good alternative for the word you used." Cas suggested, pulling up a number in his phone and dialing it in on the desk phone, "Someone who uses harsh or abusive language... Use it well, and don't let it apply to you." 

Cas gestured to the door as the phone on the other end of the line started to ring, and Jack quickly slipped out of the room. 

Cas nodded through Don's usual greeting, and answered him, "Don, it's Cas Novak again... Yes... Language... Well, to be fair, the substitute teacher was being a bitch." 

* * *

"He said it was along the fence." Ben said quietly, carefully stepping over a fallen branch. 

Claire smirked, but leading the way, Ben couldn't see it, "He hasn't come out here in years... C'mon, you want to find it or not?" 

"Did you ever find it?" 

"Yeah," Claire called back, "But I can't remember exactly where. You can still see the writing on a couple of the headstones." 

Claire continued to tromp through the trees and underbrush, the flashlights they carried quite necessary under the thick shade and dimming sky. 

"How many stones?" Ben asked, pushing a rather bare branch out of the way. 

"Uh... about-... Do you hear that?" Claire asked. 

Ben looked around as Claire stopped, "Hear what?" 

"Shh!" 

"...If you're trying to scare me-" 

"Shut it!" Claire hissed. 

In the distance, Ben could hear a faint rumbling, close to the sound of the tow truck. 

Claire turned left and made a dash for the fence line, startling Ben, who wasn't sure what she was running toward, or possibly away from, but he knew he didn't want to be left on his own. 

Claire sped through the trees to a break in the barbed wire fence, and soon stood five feet out into an open field. Ben followed her out, and she started walking again, and as Ben came up behind her a little too fast, she put her arm out to stop him. 

Ben could see that they'd come to a rise in the hill, and past it was a steeper drop off. Below them, and at least half a mile away, construction vehicles had torn a swath of destruction into the otherwise very natural landscape. 

"Claire?" Ben asked, coming close enough to see the expression on her face. 

"They sold... Those fruit fly fucking pin-dick mother fuckers sold... Son of a bitch..." Claire hissed in frustration before turning half away around and finding Ben next to her, staring, "What?...Like you haven't heard all of that before?" 

Ben shrugged, "The fruit fly part was new." 

Claire rolled her eyes and started back for the fence. 

"Are we trespassing right now?" 

"Yep." 

"Is anyone going to shoot us?" 

"Nope." 

"What did you mean that they sold?" 

Claire stopped as she reached the fence, "It means the owners of the ranch sold the place. Now they're going to try to get my dad to sell again, and this is... This is the most boring crap in the world, okay? You're not gonna care. It's family stuff and ancient history." 

"I still wanna know." 

Claire shrugged, "Fine... a long time ago, before the town was built, down the highway, my ancestors had a trading post. There was a tiny little town that built up around it, and a little one-room schoolhouse. I had to do a project on it for school once. Family history, or whatever... Anyway, it died down, all that was left was three main families, and one of them... They lived where the town is now, sold out to some cult or whatever, I don't know, and those people built the town... So, the depression, before World War two? You know about that?" 

"Yeah?" 

"The Novaks had to sell off almost all of it to the ranch over there, so, a lot of that used to be all part of this." Claire paused to squeeze through a smaller space, "Now, some fuck-head in a suit is going to come out here, stand on my front porch, and offer my dad five times what this place should be worth, so they can tear it all down, Poltergeist the little cemetery, and put in big houses with tiny yards and a stupid fucking basketball hoop over their goddamn garages and a community pool, and an HOA... And I'm gonna tell him to take the money." 

"Why? He could just say no." 

"Because he'd be an idiot not to, now that the ranch is toast, it's all as good as gone." 

As Claire spoke, Ben wondered if she knew where she was going, "What about Bobby's place? And the junkyard?" 

"What about it?" 

"Did it used to belong to your ancestors?" 

"Yeah, it did." 

Ben twisted his ankle slightly with a bad step, but kept up, still watching the ground carefully, "So when our dads get married, then that-" 

"It's Dean's. If they ever divorce, it stays Dean's. If Dean dies, it probably goes to you." 

"But, it's a family thing, it should be Novak land, right?" 

Claire scoffed, and her voice dripped with sarcasm, "Sure. We just stole it from the indians, so, obviously we deserve it more than you." 

"But that's a really cool history thing. My family doesn't have anything like that, as far as I know." 

"Oh yeah. Real cool. My great great grandma is buried in the back yard like a dead cat." 

"That makes it easier to leave her flowers on Mother's day." 

"For a grandma?" 

"Yeah. We went and did that at my dad's mom's grave one time. It's too far away now." 

Claire shook her head, "Nah, I'll just give 'em to Dean in front of everyone at the shop like I did this year." 

"I thought you were trying to embarrass him when you did that?" 

"I was." she replied, "But he took it seriously and hugged me, so now I'm on the hook." 

* * *

Cas approached the bar for another double and chaser, and a beer for Dean, not expecting a hand on his arm. 

"B negative, right?" a dusky feminine voice purred next to him. 

Cas looked down at the dark haired woman in surprise, "Excuse me?" 

"You were my last patient on my last shift before I moved away two years ago." 

Realization swept over Cas as her face came back to him, "You're the nurse who broke the rules." 

"Meg Masters," she answered, offering her hand, "It was bugging me for weeks afterward, I just wanted to ask about your daughter, did she make it?" 

"She graduated with honors, and she's a business major with a bright future ahead of her." Cas assured her. 

"Glad to hear it. Well, I've got to get back to my date." 

As Cas started back to the booth, he caught a glimpse of her at a distant table with Charlie. 

Dean tucked his phone away as Cas sat down again, accepting his beer. 

"I just ran into the nurse that probably saved Claire's life... She's on a date with Charlie." 

Dean looked over his shoulder through the slightly crowded bar, "You didn't have them come over?" 

"I know, I certainly owe her a lot more than a drink, but I don't want to interfere with their date... What were we talking about?" 

"Hiring a planner. I watched Lisa run herself ragged, I don't want to do that part again." 

Cas nodded, "Yes, but I don't think either of us are expecting, either." 

"I sure hope not." Dean chuckled, "So, how big do we want this thing? Just family, family and close friends, or do we want to leave the kids at home and fly to Vegas?" 

"The children should be there, I think." 

Dean nodded, trying to keep from getting lost in Cas' eyes. They'd already tried several times to hash out details at home, but it rarely worked. 

"Perhaps a small ceremony at the courthouse, and a larger reception afterward." 

"Little wedding, big party? If we're going to do a big party anyway, we could just rent out a hall or something. Have a minister come out for it." Dean suggested. 

Cas shrugged, "I don't know. It just seems like something that should be a more private matter." 

"You're cute when you're shy like that." 

"Dean, please try to stay focused." 

"I'm focused." 

"I was thinking-" 

"Focused on getting you into the back seat of my car." Dean muttered. 

Cas rolled his eyes, "The wedding will never happen if you keep- what are you doing?" 

Dean quickly got up and moved into Cas' side of the booth, "Staying focused. We'll save time this way. Go on, pull up that list of venues on your phone again." 

Cas was suspicious, but complied, turning his phone sideways to cradle in both hands as Dean leaned in against him, reaching for his beer from the other side of the table. 

As Cas scrolled through the list, starting at the top, Dean appeared to pay attention, despite the fact that he pressed his thigh firmly against Cas', and his leg was jittering. 

"These three are closest, but," Cas could feel Dean's hand creeping up the inside of his thigh very slowly, "They're also the smallest." 

"What about that big chapel on the college campus?" Dean asked, stealthily tracing Cas' zipper. 

"They're affiliated with one of the more evangelical denominations." 

"So, they could turn us down." 

"Not exactly, but it could stir up trouble. I don't want to press for it." 

"Okay." Dean replied, his visual attention completely focused on the screen as his arm shifted to cup Cas firmly, his thumb stroking between Cas' package and leg. 

"All right. You win." Cas said, putting the phone away and downing his liquor, "Go get the tab, I'll see if I can't get to the car." 

Dean smirked as he got up from the table. 

After a short drive home, and quietly making their way to their bedroom, Cas had played along, and Dean had been perfectly relaxed, not knowing what Cas was up to. 

The box came out from under the bed, and Dean found himself on his stomach on the bed, his wrists bound with a wide strap wrapped around his forearms, nearly to his elbows, palms together, a gag in his mouth, and the now familiar clicker in his hand. 

Everything had been perfect, until Cas' bare chest came down on his shoulder, and Cas whispered in his ear as he brought his phone in front of both their faces. 

"Now that I have your cooperation... What do think of these colors?" 

Dean mumbled around the gag, unable to spit it out as Cas had fastened it tight. 

"One for yes, two for no. You know the drill." 

Dean grumbled and shook his head. 

"Of course, I've heard the V.F.W. hall is a bit dim, I'm not sure it would show up well in photos." 

Dean didn't try to speak, only watched the screen with irritated amusement as Cas continued to scroll, and speak quietly. 

* * *

_It was a familiar sound. She was sure she'd heard it before... a deep, but unsure voice, singing, almost in a whisper, a patchy tune. A song everyone knew._

_The voice wasn't practiced, but echoed of past talent, tinged with anxiety, almost questioning whether it was making any sounds, or the right sounds. It was lost within itself._

_No arms encircled her, and the sound was far too deep to be Alfie, but there was a rasp in it, as well. A rasp she knew. Someone had held her hand, someone had sung to her in a dream. After the blood..._

Claire's eyes snapped open at the memory of the car accident, and realizing the tune she was hearing was not coming from memory or a dream, she got up and went looking for it. 

The lights were off throughout the house, and Cas sat on the sofa, his back to the stairs, illuminated by the television as Claire snuck down. Not wanting to disturb him, she sat on one of the steps and watched as the screen changed abruptly, a sure sign of an old home movie. 

_"Ohhh, she's smiling!" _a higher male voice came from behind the camera, as a much younger Cas held a very tiny, newborn Claire with all the care of a devoted parent.__

__Before her, on the couch, Cas propped his elbow on the back of the couch and leaned his head against his hand. Glancing at the coffee table in front of him, she could see an old VHS cassette and two DVDs by some recently opened packaging._ _

__On the screen, the unseen, higher voiced man was trying to convince Cas to put Claire in a crib, and Cas was refusing._ _

___"You can't just hold her the whole four hours, Casti."_ _ _

__Cas on the screen scoffed, _"Watch me... I haven't seen her all week, I'm not putting her down."_ _ _

___"You're going to spoil her!"_ _ _

___"Well, obviously. She's my daughter, it's my job."_ _ _

__The newborn on the screen yawned and fussed, and the singing Claire had heard in her room resumed, this time a bit more confident. After a few attempts to steer away from the camera, it finally cut out in the middle of a held note._ _

__As the screen came back to life almost immediately in a room Claire hardly recognized, her room, the young version of Cas was adjusting nursery furniture to his liking._ _

___"Say hi to your princess."_ the unseen man prompted. _ _

__Cas turned toward the camera, _"Claire, princess, I know it's a little late, but I finally painted your room."_ _ _

__The camera spun dizzyingly to show the other person's face for a moment, _"And if he ever puts you down, you might actually see it at some point."_ _ _

___"Don't listen to him, he's just jealous because you don't like him."_ Cas chuckled as the camera spun back around. _ _

__Several more moments flashed by on the screen in a very short time, but then the camera had been set down on a counter, and she recognized the kitchen. The man passed Cas a white envelope, and sat down as he opened it. Claire couldn't help noticing that Cas looked tired and, if she had to guess, hopeless._ _

___"Fingers crossed?"_ the man asked. _ _

___"There's no reason for it. I told you, either way..."_ the young version of Cas said as he opened the envelope and pulled out several sheets of paper. _ _

__Cas looked as though he would have been stunned if he hadn't been too tired to care properly. It was then that she recalled finding her DNA test results and the date he'd received them. He'd only gotten them after her mother had moved her several states away. She could see the toll it had taken in his eyes._ _

___"What does it say?"_ _ _

___"I'm her father."_ Cas said softly. _ _

___"Call Amelia."_ _ _

__Cas shook his head, _"She'll get her own copy, and call if she wants to talk about it."_ _ _

___"Call her, tell her you want visitation. She has to cooperate now."_ _ _

___"No."_ _ _

___"Cas, it's killing you."_ _ _

___"I don't care. You can't just ship a baby around all over the place like that. She's with her mother, that's how...that's how it works in nature, that's what's best for her, a solid home. She needs it."_ _ _

___"What about what you need?"_ _ _

__On the screen, the young but weary Cas shook his head, and stared out the window. On the couch, Claire could see Cas was wiping his eyes._ _

__The video changed once more, and now, it was night. The young version of Cas leaned heavily on the side of the empty crib she'd seen earlier. Drunkenly, even. He held a small teddy bear with a red ribbon around it's neck by one of it's paws._ _

___"Cas, come on."_ the voice said softly. _ _

___"Stop."_ Cas answered firmly. _ _

___"She's not coming back... I'm sorry, but you have to stop doing this sometime."_ _ _

___"Jason, put it away."_ Cas growled. _ _

__The screen went to static, and Claire, understanding what she'd seen, got up and moved to sit on the couch, surprising Cas, "So, how much more sob-fest is in this video?"_ _

__"It was a very rough time for me." Cas slurred quietly, which brought Claire's attention to the open bottle of silver tequila sitting on the coffee table._ _

__"I noticed that." Claire replied, picking up the bottle and taking a swig, "Huh... That's a lot better than spiced rum."_ _

__"Be careful with that. It makes some people very violent."_ _

__Claire scoffed, "I'm already violent."_ _

__"You hide it well... And you probably get it from me." Cas answered, as a less raspy version of his voice came from the television once more._ _

__The camera was probably on a tripod at this point, and Claire briefly wondered what had happened to the Jason fellow, _"It's your first birthday, so, happy birthday, sweetheart. I miss you. Your mom told me you're already walking... I truly wish that I could see that..."_ _ _

__"So, why haven't I seen this before?" Claire asked._ _

__"An ex of mine hid it from me, to get me to stop..." Cas gestured at the television and the bottle._ _

__"Shit... It really just broke you, huh?"_ _

__"It did." Cas answered with a nod._ _

__Claire nodded, pausing to listen to another birthday message, this one a little less emotional, "You didn't seem very happy about it when I came back."_ _

__"I was afraid..."_ _

__"Of what?"_ _

__"Of messing up badly enough that you'd want to go back to your mother... Especially knowing you'd been around drugs, and who knows what kind of... well, we know what kind of people." Cas said quietly, wiping his eyes again, "That's not the life I wanted for you. And here I was worried you'd be bullied at school over your father having a boyfriend, but you went through so much worse."_ _

__"I didn't come out here for college... I didn't have a plan for the rest of my life, never had anybody encourage me to think about what I wanted to be when I grew up, except you... I lied. Made up the college thing just to get out here."_ _

__Cas shrugged, "That part seems to have worked out, though. You should have heard Dean after you fired that one boy for stealing from the shop. He said you knew exactly what you were doing."_ _

__Claire chuckled as she took another drink from the bottle, "Yeah, because I have a hard time caring about other people's feelings."_ _

__"You care. You just aren't easily manipulated... You don't normally see that sort of... emotional fortitude in women."_ _

__"'Emotional fortitude?' Was the bottle new when you got to it?" Claire laughed._ _

__"I'm being serious. Most-... Most women are these flighty, feelings-driven... and logic goes right out the window. You, however... If someone forgot to notice you'd changed your hair, you'd be happy they were minding their own business. I have every confidence in you, concerning your adult life. You're going to be just fine." Cas rambled slightly, to Claire's amusement, "Not that- not that I'm not here if you need something, I don't care if you're fifty, sixty years old, I'm here. You understand?"_ _

__"Yeah, I understand, dad." Claire said with a nod, "But, y'know, I'm still here for you, too."_ _

__Cas' face twisted with drunken emotion as he reached for her, pulling her into a tight hug, awkwardly sandwiching the bottle between them as another birthday message played quietly on the screen, "I know you are. I've known that for some time now. And while you shouldn't have to be at your age, I appreciate it so much... and I know you're there for Dean and Ben, too."_ _

__Claire shifted the bottle out from between them, and attempted to correct their placement, but Cas wasn't paying attention, "Did Dean talk to you about something we talked about the other day?"_ _

__"What do you mean?"_ _

__"He wants to adopt me. He said that's a real thing you can do." Claire said quietly as Cas squeezed her tighter in response._ _

__"Good... To be honest, I've been worried about you two... Not as many dead stripper jokes at dinner lately."_ _

__Claire listened as another installment of a heartbroken young Cas tried to be cheerful, wishing his missing child a joyful Christmas, as her father's cheek rested on her head._ _

__"How bad did it get? ...That somebody had to hide this from you?"_ _

__Cas shrugged, "It was certainly justified. He left soon after."_ _

__"So, how many relationships did you lose because of me?"_ _

__"It doesn't matter. Anyone who would make a parent choose where their child is concerned isn't worth the effort."_ _

__"I wanna know."_ _

__"Three."_ _

__"Three?"_ _

__"Jason couldn't handle the state of grief I was in, although he was right, I should've demanded visitation, Terry, a few years later, hid the tape from me, would only say it was in the house somewhere, I kicked him out, and Alan didn't want to be anywhere near children, so he left while I was driving out to pick you up from California."_ _

__"That's pretty cold, leaving while you were gone."_ _

__"He left a note. Called me selfish for putting my child's needs and immediate safety above his comfort... Had that been an actual conversation, he might have left with a black eye, so, it's probably better that he left when he did."_ _

__"And that room? It's always been my room, hasn't it?"_ _

__"Since you were born."_ _

* * *

__Dean awoke to a sudden weight across his hips, and whoever it was on top of him kissing him deeply with a strong scent of alcohol on his breath._ _

__"I'm very much in love with you, Dean." Cas whispered against his lips._ _

__Dean blinked sleepily, very confused as to why Cas, in all his naked hotness, was sitting on him, "Yeah... that's why we're getting married... Why are you drunk at, uh-" he glanced at the bedside table, "Three thirty in the morning?"_ _

__"Because at three thirty in the afternoon, I'm at work."_ _

__Dean chuckled lightly and relaxed back into his pillow, ready to go back to sleep, "Okay, honey."_ _

__"Wake up." Cas demanded in a slight slur._ _

__His eyes popped open in response, "Why? What'd I do?"_ _

__Cas shook his head and leaned forward, kissing him again, this time more roughly._ _

__"It's the middle of the night." Dean complained, once his mouth was emptied again as Cas started down his body._ _

__"Don't ruin this for yourself." Cas replied, digging a hand under the sheet to grasp Dean's ass._ _

__"Cas? ...What's gotten into you?" Dean asked as Cas nudged his legs apart to get between them, even through the barrier of the thin, soft sheet._ _

__Cas stopped kissing his chest and came back up giving a gentle grind against him as he reached Dean’s face, "You're an incredible person, and I love you deeply."_ _

__"I love you, too, but I still don't get what's going on." Dean said, his voice gritty with sleep. He gasped as Cas gave a more intense grind._ _

__Cas let go of Dean's ass and dragged his lips down Dean’s neck, nipping at his collarbone as he moved, soon tonguing at his navel and nibbling his way across his hips, his hands pulling the sheet away and running aimlessly over Dean’s thighs._ _

__Dean gave up any attempt at conscious thought as Cas suddenly took him into his mouth, drawing a soft moan from his lips, "Holy shit, baby... I don't know what that's about, but I'll take it."_ _

__Cas continued to move as he guided Dean’s legs over his shoulders to lay down his back, unintentionally giving himself a bit of friction against the sheet with each motion._ _

__Dean felt a break in his movement as Cas quickly wet a couple of fingers in his mouth, reaching around Dean’s thigh before resuming in earnest, and penetrated him slowly, certain he was still both slick and a little sore from earlier activities._ _

__Cas listened intently to the relaxed and pleased hints of sound coming from Dean, feeling him squirm as he twisted his tongue on each stroke, and shiver when Cas would press in just a bit firmer._ _

__"Ohhh, god, I love you... Cas... So fucking hot... damn good with that mouth, too." Dean rambled, nearly incoherent as he tried to stay quiet, "I'm all yours, baby. Any way you want me."_ _

__In the depths of his words, a tremor seemed to echo, and it grew in strength as the sounds became more strained._ _

__Due to alcohol, Cas hadn't been certain he'd be able to do his best work. A few of his past partners had complained of his inebriated self giving a poorer performance, but Dean was enjoying himself honestly and purely, engulfed by Cas' very direct attentions._ _

__"Oh, fuck! Mm! ...Baby, I'm close..." Dean’s voice came higher now, and Cas was vaguely aware that his own body had gone rock hard where it ground into the bed._ _

__Cas carefully increased his speed, and rocked the pads of his fingers over the place that was making Dean fall apart, setting his nerves aflame._ _

__"Don't stop!... Ah!Cas, so good... Cas!" between pants, Dean gave a sound somewhere between a growl and a moan, and then a whimper, "I'm gonna... Cas... you're gonna make me..."_ _

__Cas took him in deeply, pressed in hard, and swallowed around Dean, not just pushing him over the edge, but launching him from it. He took every drop Dean's body sprayed into the back of his throat as Dean shook and jolted with a hushed grunt._ _

__With heavy breathing, Dean's legs went limp and rolled off Cas' sides as he moved up the bed, his erection only an annoyance to him as he collapsed on his stomach next to Dean, leaving only his hand on Dean's chest._ _

__Dean grasped the back of Cas' hand to keep it close to his heart, and they both soon drifted off into a comfortable sleep._ _

* * *


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Still alive, just dealing with some real life stuff! Kids out of school, one of our old, old pets passed, and I got my first tattoo. So... Life is definitely happening. I'm not even done with the chapter after this, and I need to revisit my outline very thoroughly, but something else happened... A scene for a third installment would not get the hell out of my head until it was written. So, it got written. I was very surprised how that went down, not at all what I was expecting... I just have to make this second story work first.
> 
> So, too keep from making you wait, and push myself to work a bit faster, here's a chapter. Thanks for reading! FW)

* * *

"That's... uh..." 

"Not entirely unheard of." Kevin answered quietly, turning over the steaks and closing the grill. 

"Yeah, but... Just..." Alfie found himself unnerved, "That's Claire's dad." 

Kevin shrugged, "That's who you talk to when you're not speaking English, and there's no phone involved. And I've heard pregnancy dreams can get really freaky." 

"So she hears that, and she's just, all over you, huh?" 

"I'm not complaining. Never gonna complain about this. But I'm also not sure it's going to last after the baby's born, if it's a hormonal thing." Kevin replied. 

"A temporary kink? How would that...? Nevermind. None of my business." Alfie came to the conclusion, "So, what, don't do that? Or take it to another room?" 

"I dunno, she didn't say. I'm gonna ask her about it later." 

Alfie nodded, "So, are you thinking about moving in with her?" 

"Uh..." 

"You haven't even brought it up?" Alfie asked, "She's going to be dealing with a newborn, when she's just given birth. She's gonna need help." 

"I'll be over here every day, I'm sure." 

"That's not the same thing, and you know it." 

Kevin shrugged, "That's just, it's a big step." 

"Kevin-" 

"I don't want her to freak out again, that's all." 

"Yeah, well, you don't have forever on this. And she's really going to be showing soon." Alfie said quietly, "I know you don't care, but you better find out how she's gonna feel about the people who are gonna start talking. If it gets bad, I'll help you guys get moved if you want to go someplace big enough that people mind their own business." 

"Shit..." 

"What?" 

"Never crossed my mind." 

Alfie shook his head, "You seriously need to sit down with Margaret, and don't talk, just ask questions and listen. I know that's hard for you, but, I don't know, put a piece of tape over your mouth or something." 

"Is she talking to you behind my back? Because it's not like I don't listen at all. I listen." 

"You try, I get that, but-" 

"You're more approachable." Kevin grumbled. 

"Hey. I'm not trying to get in the way, just, even with you guys being back together, she still doesn't have a lot of people to lean on." 

Kevin went quiet for a moment, his behavior somewhat agitated, "There's nothing going on that I'd need to know, is there?" 

"Are you serious?" 

"That's not a no." 

"Kev, there's nothing there. That would be like me asking if you were doing that therapy stuff with Claire for fun." 

Kevin gave him a suspicious look, "Why didn't you ever ask that?" 

"Should I have?" 

Kevin ran a hand through his hair, "I don't even know if we're arguing right now." 

"We might be." 

"And we can't get one of the girls to ref for us, or they'll know we talk about them when they aren't around." 

"Yeah, that would probably be bad." 

Inside the house, Claire and Margaret sat on the couch, a large bag of chips propped between them as Margaret's favorite soap opera played on the television. 

"Is Kevin still trying to name him after a Ninja Turtle?" 

Margaret shrugged, "I'm really thinking of going with it at this point, just so it's out of the way. Nobody ever uses their middle name." 

Claire chuckled, "One down, three to go, huh?" 

"I'll do two, you guys do the other two." 

"Oh, hell no, I'm not having kids." 

"You don't like kids?" 

"I like kids, and babies are cute, I just think I'd mess it up, after all the shit my mom did to me." 

"So have kids, but don't be a mom. Or make Alfie be the mom, and you can be the dad. Your dad's a good parent, right? Just be like him and Dean." 

"So you think I could do that?" 

"You're not gonna sell your kid, or make them do porn. And if anybody tried that with any kid of yours, they'd never find the body." 

"I'll just borrow your kid sometimes... Might be an up side to you having him young, I can watch what you do before I really have to think about it." 

* * *

Cas slowly drifted into consciousness, which was paired with pain as sound entered the room. 

"Go away." he rasped. 

He felt two pills pressed into one hand, and cold condensation on the outside of a water bottle soaked the opposite palm. Dean gently pulled him upright as he complained against the movement. 

"Tell me you spilled half the bottle." Dean whispered, "Because it had a lot more in it yesterday." 

"Claire helped." Cas answered gruffly before swallowing the aspirin and taking a long drink. He shoved the nearly empty water toward Dean, and carefully retreated back into his pillow. 

"You were drinking with Claire?" Dean chuckled, "You must have been pretty sloshed first to let her get into it." 

"She's old enough to enlist and die for her country, she's old enough to drink with her father... fathers... I don't know." Cas replied through the pounding pain in his skull. 

"She was up bright and early, and she wasn't hung over." 

"I'm more than twice her age. Give her another five years, it'll happen." 

Dean climbed over him carefully, and curled around him, his breath warm against the back of Cas' neck as he spoke, "You want to tell me what that surprise midnight blow job was all about?" 

Dean thought Cas had gone back to sleep, at first, but then he rolled onto his back. 

"I found out last night... the man I love truly wants to be a father to my child as much as I do. I've never experienced that before... It was an overwhelming feeling." 

"How much of that was the tequila?" 

Cas didn't answer, only burrowing his forehead into Dean's shoulder. He would have been content to rest there for some time, but suddenly the bed lurched, and something heavy and hairy was standing on his leg. 

"Sorry, forgot the door was open." Dean said softly, sitting up to manhandle Nick to an empty space on the bed before laying back down. 

"I was gonna tell you." Dean whispered, "But I'm guessing you're not angry." 

"Shhh." 

* * *

Jack could hear something happening in the back yard as he approached the gate, and climbed up the back fence to look. 

Trey was lighting something on fire on a large cement patio near the house, and backing away. 

"Hey, Trey!" Jack called. 

Trey waved at him to enter the yard, and Jack hopped down and went to the gate, letting himself in. 

"What are you burning?" 

"Some cleaners that said they were flammable. I don't think it's working." 

"Didn't your brother build a bomb one time?" 

Trey scoffed, "No. Assface just threw a couple lit M-80s into the teacher's lounge. His friends told everyone it was a bomb." 

"Xander's supposed to get out on Tuesday, you should come over." 

"Why?" 

"'Cuz he's our friend, and he almost died. Chicks dig that hero crap." 

Trey scoffed, "You wanna hang out with him now that he's all fucked up, knock yourself out. I got better shit to do than hang around with some busted up moron who needs to re-learn where his dick is." 

"He'd go see you if you were the one that fell." 

"Yeah, but I wouldn't fall, because I'm not a wimp who's too scared to jump." Trey answered, crouching next to the small bucket of liquid. 

"Ben's gonna be there, I'm gonna try to get Millie to come over, too." 

Trey laughed, "Great. You can take turns wiping his ass while he sits there and drools... I'm gonna try stuffing some newspaper in this shit, maybe it'll light." 

"Like a fuse?" 

"Yeah." Trey said, getting up and heading for the door. 

Jack waited as Trey got some paper, and wadded it up, floating a large ball of it in the bucket, and lighting the dry side on fire. 

"Huh... You would think it would burn like a spray can..." 

"Maybe it's not getting enough air." Jack suggested. 

Trey chuckled, "How cool would it be to spray it through a garden sprinkler and light that shit? Just throwing, spraying fire all over the damn place, make the neighbors call the cops." 

"That would look awesome." 

"You should sneak out tonight, Kurt swiped some whiskey from his uncle, and we're gonna hang out at Nathan's house. His folks are out of town, and his brother's girlfriend is really hot." 

"Yeah, okay, I'll be there." Jack answered, "I gotta go, see you later." 

Trey didn't even look up as Jack started out of the yard. 

His entire walk home, he considered Trey's words. The invitation to mischief was a common one, and he usually jumped at the chance to participate. But his lack of concern for Xander struck Jack as very strange. 

* * *

"So now you guys are back together, what's the plan for the birth? Still gonna do that Lamaze class?" Claire asked. 

"I want to, but they don't have any times or days when he's not at the school. It's like the schedules line up exactly." 

"You think he'd be cool with it if I do the class with you like we were talking about before? Then we fill him in, see if he can find videos of it online." 

Margaret shrugged, "Lots of girls have their mom with them, there's no reason I can't have two people with me in the delivery room. And that way, maybe, if they need to take Mike to the NICU or anything, then it'll be easier to get Kevin to go with him." 

"Sure," Claire shrugged, "What's a little blood and guts between friends, right? Can't be that bad." 

"Honestly, I'm kind of scared... I watched some birth videos thinking it would make me feel better, like this one lady was just calm the whole time, but I'm like, that's only if everything goes completely perfect, you know? I have no idea what's going to happen." 

Claire nodded, "I know what you mean, but if women in the middle of a war zone can pop out a baby and both of them live, I'm pretty sure having one here with medical care and everything can't be too bad. And the hospital has drugs, so..." 

Margaret nodded, "Got that right." 

* * *

Ben had left Nick at the house and took off into the small woods behind the house with a small knapsack containing a large water bottle, a few snacks, a flashlight, and a walkie talkie. He'd left the other walkie talkie on the kitchen table, certain it would be noticed if he were to press the panic button and set off the loud buzzer, even if he left the range that would easily carry his voice. 

He'd intended to continue looking for the cemetery, but on a whim, he instead headed for the fence Claire had led him through previously. 

Claire had seemed certain they wouldn't be shot for trespassing on the ranch, and the way she'd been acting, he assumed she knew this from experience. 

She'd explained to him at one point that the reason they rarely saw cattle was because the barn, house, and other buildings were on the other side of the ranch, closer to town, and located on another county road where the highway curved around, going south, closer to the town. The gate further down the dirt road was only for maintenance access, and the cattle rarely came out this far. They were close to the northern side of the ranch, and the construction was even further north. 

He stayed close to the fence as he moved, noticing there were few clear breaks in the barbed wire, and it seemed clearer to him that Claire had to have known exactly where she could get through when she'd made straight for it. He concluded that she must know the area quite well. 

Ben watched carefully for any sign of people, and finding none, crept closer to the construction site. 

He'd taken notice when a small neighborhood had been built closer to town, land cleared, streets going in, and foundations standing bare until skeletal houses rose up on top of them. 

Here, there seemed to be one long drive, and one foundation being prepared, just on the other side of a rise from the highway that ran past the shop. 

Ben took a pair of binoculars from his knapsack and looked closer at the vehicles. 

He wasn't sure exactly what he was looking for, but Claire had left in such a rage, he wasn't entirely sure she knew the whole story. 

Through the binoculars, he looked over the rise toward the highway, and aside from the long drive to the large area being prepared for a foundation, and a large gate that looked, as if he could judge, rather new, he saw nothing else. No signs stating what was being built, no advertising at all. 

The walkie talkie crackled to life, making Ben jump as his father's voice came through, "Hey, bud, where're you at?" 

Ben grabbed it and pressed the button down to speak into it, "Checking out the woods. It's pretty cool." 

"Okay," Dean's voice came back with a chuckle, "Next time, check in first. I'll keep this one on me." 

"Okay." Ben replied before stowing it. 

He took a long look around, realizing he was enjoying the silence, broken by the wind that waved the tall grasses, and the occasional sound of birds and leaves rustling on the other side of the fence. 

Taking a moment to compare it with the noise of the balcony he'd played on every day as a younger child, he could barely remember what the constant traffic and city noise sounded like. 

Ben looked through the binoculars once more, going over the construction site once more before giving in, and heading back into the break in the fence. 

* * *

Ivan knew the diner would be busy, but he stopped in anyway, waiting by the door as Julie was getting shuffled out at the end of her shift. 

Two of the elderly busy-bodies Ivan was growing less and less fond of made their way past him, one carrying Cyndi, the other, her diaper bag. 

"Ivan, good to see you! Are you and Julie still going out?" 

"Oh, yeah." Ivan answered, taking Cyndi's hand for a brief second as she reached for him, "But you'd know that, if you're babysitting." 

"Well, we don't know that for sure," the other woman cut in, "She could be going shopping with a friend." 

"Right. Of course." Ivan stifled an eye roll, "We were going to get matching pedicures at the mall before we make out in the back of my truck." 

The older woman gave him an odd look. 

"What?" he asked with a smirk, "Not enough detail to give you something to gossip about?" 

"Fwuck! Vrrrum." Cyndi replied with a grin that could light up a dark room. 

"That's right, 'truck, vroom.'" Ivan answered as the two women scoffed and bustled away, carrying Cyndi along with them, and speaking in hushed tones. 

Ivan was still amused when Julie came up to him, getting out of her apron, "Why are you so happy?" 

Ivan shrugged, "Making people talk. Oh, and, you're here, so that's usually a fast track to a good day." 

"You like making people talk?" Julie asked. She didn't seem comfortable with the idea. 

Ivan shrugged, opening the door for her, "Nosy people who want to gossip, yeah. Give them some crap that isn't true do they look like an ass after they tell everybody." 

"What are they going to be saying, this time?" Julie asked, still suspicious. 

"Why's it matter?" Ivan asked with a chuckle. 

"Because if people are going to be talking, what are they going to say about me? About Cyndi?" 

At the change of her tone, Ivan quickly dialed it back, "She was just asking if we were still going out. I just, kind of, y'know, hinted that she should mind her own business." 

Julie looked a bit less anxious to hear it. 

"So, your mom's not babysitting?" 

"She, um... We were at the park yesterday, and this little boy took Cyndi's toy from her, and my mom told her to throw a rock at him." 

"What?" 

"Yeah." 

"I'm all for standing up for yourself, but... what the fuck?" 

Julie nodded, speaking softly, "So, it was a big fight... He was bigger than Cyndi, but still in diapers, I can't believe she'd say that." 

"What did you do?" Ivan asked as they reached the back of the pickup. 

"I got her toy back, and when we got home, I put Cyndi down for a nap, then I yelled at my mom for a while, then she called me worthless." 

"You're not." 

"I know." Julie sounded as though she didn't believe it. 

"I mean it. Obviously you're a much better mother, because that is just bullshit right there." 

Julie didn't meet his eyes, and Ivan pulled her close. 

"She couldn't have meant it." 

Julie shrugged, "I just couldn't ever imagine saying anything like that to Cyndi... I don't know why she said it to me." 

"Well, this is the person you're trying not to be like, so... Yeah, makes perfect sense." Ivan answered, "So, did you still want to see the movie, or you wanna just go somewhere and talk?" 

* * *

Cas felt a little better when Dean came to check on him again, this time stretching out on the bed next to him. 

Cas reached blindly for his hand, and finding it, rolled closer, "Dean... Does Ben ever talk to you about girls?" 

Dean thought for a moment, "Not really. He's probably still at that point where they all have cooties." 

"Some of us never grow out of that." Cas replied. 

"Yeah, but that's you." 

"He's trying to get a girl to leave him alone... He said Claire was giving him advice about it. I'm trying to remember, but I think at that age, my friends would have just been flattered to have a girl's attention." 

"You're worried?" 

"A bit." 

"I'm not. He's a cute kid, he's gonna have admirerers, and he's not going to be into all of them. If he doesn't like girls at all, still not a big deal. Not like his two dads would kick him out for being gay." Dean replied quietly, "Of course, he probably wouldn't even know yet, so, we just sit tight, and listen, right?" 

Cas nodded, "I did give him some advice." 

"And I'm sure it was good advice... I gotta run down to the shop and check on things. Ben's running around looking for that cemetery, he's got a radio on him. You care if Nick's in here?" 

"No, she's fine." 

"Okay," Dean answered, stroking the side of Cas' face and giving him a gentle kiss, "I'll be back in a while, but if you're still in bed when I get back, I'm gonna throw you in the shower." 

"Better be hard enough to leave bruises, if you do." Cas muttered. 

"Is this just an automatic thing with you, or are you seriously this miserable and still horny?" 

"Only when you're here." 

* * *

Margaret had gotten comfortable in a large armchair by the end of the couch where Kevin sat, as he gently poked fun at her hoard of pillows. 

"Shut up, I'm carrying a bowling ball twenty-four-seven, and you put it there." 

"Right." Kevin answered, "In that case, you could bring the pillows over here, and we can banish Claire to the chair. You can even take over my lap." 

"I'm not moving. He just fell asleep, I get a little while where he's not kicking me, I just want to sit." 

Claire returned from the kitchen, passing Margaret a large bowl of strawberries and setting a new drink down in front of the other end of the couch before settling into her spot in the middle, "He ran off?" 

"Phone call, probably Naomi, by the look on his face." Kevin replied. 

Claire shrugged and started the disc, intending to watch the trailers and reach the menu while waiting for Alfie to return. 

Alfie soon came back into the room, trying to get Naomi to hang up, and Claire was well aware that he was going through his list of ways to annoy her to get her off the phone. 

"No, I can't. I'm busy that year... I don't read email, I just print it out and use it to-... no... No, I'm not..." Alfie sat down next to Claire, trying to get comfortable, and as she expected, the phone call was wrapping up, and Alfie started to argue with her in French, just to get on her nerves. 

Claire was aware what was happening on the phone, having witnessed it many times, but to the other side of her, something was clearly not well. 

Margaret looked as though she might be nauseous, and she squirmed in her chair. 

Kevin took a glance over Claire's head, then looked back to Margaret, "You okay?" 

"Can you _please_ just shut him up?" Margaret hissed. 

Kevin reached behind Claire and whapped Alfie on the shoulder, but Alfie didn't seem to notice, and continued to speak. 

Claire was more concerned that Margaret seemed to be turning odd colors, and trying to hide her face. 

Kevin quickly climbed halfway over Claire's lap, much closer than most people could manage and still survive, and planted an exaggerated, sloppy kiss on Alfie's mouth. 

Alfie sputtered and swore, and shoved Kevin back, resuming in English. 

"I'll call you back. My boyfriend needs some attention." Alfie hung up the phone, "What the hell was that about? And get off of Claire." 

"Margaret, are you okay?" Claire asked. 

"Um... wrong pipe." Margaret answered in a strained voice as Kevin climbed back into his seat. 

* * *


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Getting back on track and catching up to myself. Still not as much progress as I was making before, but, booyah!
> 
> I really liked this chapter. Some big Claire/Alfie healing. Also Cas being hunky.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Beware the crazy crap that's about to start. Love you all! FW)

* * *

"Are you sure you're okay?" Alfie whispered as Kevin got up to help Margaret get a large container of cheese puffs from a high shelf in the kitchen. 

"I'm fine." Claire chuckled, "You should be more worried about yourself. I've heard things about where that mouth's been." 

Alfie rolled his eyes, "He just climbed right on top of you." 

"Not for the first time, either. Calm down." 

"Yeah, but-" 

"It's different, okay? Kevin has no interest in getting into my pants, and I'm safe with him." 

"That's not what I'm worried about." Alfie said quietly. 

"No, you're worried that's what I'm worried about. But I'm not worried." 

"I just don't like it when anything stresses you out." Alfie said quietly, "Sorry he did the rest of that, too. I think I know what that was about. I think I screwed up." 

"Since when do you kiss somebody for screwing up?" 

Alfie stared at her, "That's not-...This doesn't bother you at all, does it?" 

"Why should it?" 

"You're completely fine with this?" 

"You sound like that's a problem for you." 

"I... Look-..." 

"If you have a problem with Kevin climbing on me, or Kevin kissing you, that's between you guys. I can't have a problem with it just to make you feel better." Claire said quietly with a firm tone. 

Alfie turned to look at the television, "You were a lot more possessive of me when you were drugged, y'know..." 

He could feel her eyes on him, but it wasn't until he risked a look at her face that her expression startled him. He was about to apologize when Claire shoved herself up off the couch. 

Alfie didn't dare look over the back of the couch as he heard Claire quietly muttering, "I need to borrow this for a minute." 

A scrambling shuffle seemed to occur close by before Kevin suddenly landed on his back on the couch, the top of his head wedged against Alfie's thigh as Claire climbed over, landing on him. 

"Listen good, because I'm not going to tell you again. That guy? Right there? That's my girlfriend. You're gonna keep your hands and mouth off of him, because that's mine. Got it?" 

"Um..." Kevin shrugged, "What if your girlfriend owes me a blow job?" 

"That has nothing to do with your hands or mouth, just his," Claire replied, "So, the threat still stands." 

"I don't owe you, Kev." Alfie said quietly, "You found a bottle of viagra in the guest bathroom, and put a bunch of them in my drink, remember? Then you got scared I was going to die." 

"Oh my god, how drunk were you guys?" Margaret asked in a disgusted tone as she climbed back into the armchair. 

"Uh... I don't remember, but it sounds about right." Kevin started. 

"Drunk enough he asked the octogenarian next door if she was 'D.T.F.'" Alfie answered, "Thankfully she didn't know what it meant." 

"I was single. She might have wanted some attention." 

"You were fifteen, sixteen? And you're still an idiot." 

"Stone cold sober right now. I'd go hit on her now, but I'm taken. Which reminds me," Kevin gave the outside of Claire's thigh a firm tap, "Better move your ass before you invoke the wrath of the pregnant chick." 

"Claire's fine." Margaret said quickly, "But if she kicks your ass, I wanna watch." 

Claire shrugged and dug a few fingers into Kevin's armpit, making him squirm and squawk. 

"Claire, goddammit! ... You can't tickle me! I'm almost somebody's dad! Stop!" 

* * *

Ben sat on the foot of Jack's twin bed, his back against the wall, nose stuck in a comic book as he had many times before, "I thought you were gonna get Trey to come over?" 

"Trey was busy. You didn't get Millie over here." 

"I try to avoid her. You know that." Ben answered. 

"Whatever. You just have her following you around all over the place, and you just act like she doesn't exist." 

"It's not my fault that she's stalking me." 

"Dude, just ask her if you can see her boobs. Either she'll say, 'Ew, gross! Winchester's a perv!' and leave you alone, or you get to see boobs, so, either way, you win." 

Ben chuckled, "Whatever, I've seen boobs before." 

"What, like online?" 

"No. Real ones." Ben said quietly, "It was at Eeyore's Birthday Party. Lots of boobs." 

"How does Winnie the Pooh have boobs involved?" Jack asked, shaking his head. 

Ben was about to explain, but they both heard the front door and scrambled from the room. 

Xander looked a little confused and very tired and shaken, but perked up a bit upon seeing Ben and Jack. 

"Holy crap, it's a zombie. Quick, Ben, double-tap!" Jack smarted off. 

"Hey, Xander. You got your stitches out already... That's cool." Ben said quietly. 

"Yeah," Xander answered, "Still itches." 

* * *

"You said you could do five. Don't chicken out now." Dean said softly. 

Cas grunted as he pushed up from the floor once more, Dean laying heavily on his back, his weight carefully distributed over Cas' body. 

"Come on, baby, you got two more in you." 

"You're going to have one in you, later." Cas strained as he sank back down to the floor. 

Dean chuckled in response, "C'mon, you make it to five, and you're barely gonna make it to the bed. I'll have to carry you." 

He balanced carefully as Cas went up again, and came back down. 

"One more. Breathe. You got this." 

Cas huffed and gasped, leaving the floor again, but held in place, his arms shaking slightly. 

"C'mon, Cas, almost done. I've seen guys that looked ripped crack after one of these." 

Cas sank in a controlled movement to the floor, but before Dean could carefully remove himself from Cas' back, he went up again. 

"Cas, you don't have to match me. You've got a desk job... Are you breathing?" Dean asked. 

In irritation, Cas huffed once more and completed a seventh push up, before grabbing hold of Dean and rolling onto his back below him, as Dean's knees and elbows landed on the floor roughly. Cas' arms were still shaking, and he was nearly gasping for air, but he pulled Dean in close with look of anger, "Who are you comparing me to?" 

"A whole bunch of guys in basic who never got anywhere near me. Calm down." Dean replied, "I thought we agreed that I was gonna be the jealous one?" 

Cas narrowed his eyes, "I'm bringing the home gym up here from the garage." 

"Oh, don't start that-" 

"It'll give me something new to handcuff you to besides the bed and the dresser." 

"Why not just get a sex swing in here and padlock the door?" Dean asked, sarcastically. 

"The last two didn't last very long." 

Dean opened his mouth to reply, but closed it again and shook his head. 

Cas raised his head, kissing Dean deeply and dropping one hand to cup him firmly through the jeans he wore. 

Dean jumped slightly at the sudden contact, quickly shifting his legs to allow it, "How do you have any energy left after that?" 

"I don't." Cas admitted. 

Dean sank to the floor next to him, "So there go any plans for tonight, huh?" 

"You should be so lucky." 

"I am lucky." Dean said softly, giving Cas' chest a firm pat, "I got you. And you said I get to keep you, so..." 

Cas rocked his head toward Dean, "There's something we haven't discussed." 

"What's that?" 

"Women." Cas softly, avoiding Dean's eyes, "Is that something you're going to miss?" 

"Cas, you know how I feel about cheating. Instant turn-off." 

Cas shrugged, "I was involved with a married man-" 

"Cas, ancient history, we talked about this-" 

"That was the arrangement he had with his wife. It would hypocritical of me-" 

"No!" Dean barked, "Not happening. Cas, I can't, okay? I'm strictly monogamous... What about you?" 

"I... haven't been, in the past, not always, anyway. But I can be. I will be, if that's what we agree to." 

* * *

Alfie felt a warm, delicate touch to the mole next to his nose, and realized he had his arm around someone. 

His eyes opened enough to register a blur with blonde hair, and he curled closer, nuzzling against her neck. He would have been content to go back to sleep, keeping her in his arms, but she soon had her hands in his hair, and sleep was drifting further away. 

"We were doing really good, but ever since Houston, you don't want anything from me." Claire whispered. 

"I have no idea how long you need... I can't... You should feel safe, and I don't think you do." Alfie replied, sleepily. 

"I don't know what I was thinking, dressing like that before we left the hotel... I'm sorry." 

Alfie tightened his arm over her, "Don't." 

"Do you still want me?" 

"So bad, yeah... You could do anything you want to me, and I'd take it." Alfie mumbled, "Bend me over and shove a cucumber up my ass, whatever you want." 

"Not sure why I'd want that." Claire answered, "Tell me the truth about something." 

"I love you." Alfie said quietly, and a bit too fast. 

"Not what I meant... You said I was really possessive of you... Just explain why that matters." 

"Cheap Trick." 

"What's a cheap trick?" 

"Cheap Trick, the band..." Alfie yawned, "I need you to need me, okay?... Still kind of feel weird you didn't seem to care what Kevin did until I said something, but you didn't like this other girl hitting on me." 

"What happened with the other girl?" Claire asked, worry in her voice. 

"Nothing happened. She was just a little too close, too chatty, you didn't overreact or anything... You just got... smoking hot... But, the Kevin thing didn't bother you at all?" 

Claire rolled her eyes, and he could tell by her voice, "Kevin doesn't matter. Not like that. If you wanted to be with Kevin, that would have been a thing by now. You guys have been goofing off like that for so long, it's just how you are." 

Alfie shifted, rustling the sheets, getting both arms around her, taking deep breaths against her skin, "So, the thing you want to know... You were acting like you knew exactly what you were doing, completely in control of yourself, and you were going to drag me to bed. And not like the usual, sneaking in here, frantic, screw-now, talk-later desperate kind of sex, either." 

He could feel it as she started to roll onto her back, and trying to keep as much contact with her as possible. 

"Is that what you want from me?" Claire asked. 

"I want you be comfortable... I know we both said that wasn't you, but maybe it was how things would be, if you could slow down and think about it easier." 

"I don't think I can." 

"Some part of you already does, or you wouldn't have put on those... the leg things... wouldn't have told me what to do..." 

Claire scoffed, "Yeah, just tapping my inner hooker." 

"No." 

"You said it was hot, but all you've done since then is turn me down." Claire said with a hint of sadness. 

Alfie shrugged, "Now is okay... Just don't rough me up, I'm still sleepy." 

"Yeah, right. If I came here to jump you, I would have don-" 

He kissed her softly, moving slow, teasing her lips gently with his own. 

It was a tangled dance for them, most of the time, as Claire would attempt to shut down her mind to stave off fear, and the drive would kick in. Alfie would submit to nearly anything while trying to slow her down without bringing her attention to what was actually occurring. 

Too often, Claire's actions would come in a frantic pace, and Alfie would be carried along with them, nothing to do but attempt to catch as she'd throw herself at him, but, very rarely, it was different. It worked. They could fall together as one in an easy understanding. 

With practice and experience, Alfie tightened one arm around her, pressing the back of his other hand into hers. She grasped it firmly, accepting his reminder that she still had control over what was happening to her, as they'd rehearsed many times. 

Alfie kissed her neck softly as she brought his hand to her body in a slow, deliberate motion, resting it on her hip before setting her hand on his bare shoulder. He leaned in just a little, to see if she'd settle onto her back, but abandoned the idea entirely as she started to give the hints of resistance he'd come to recognize easily. 

He sat up, tugging her along with him, and she quickly straddled his lap, her knees finding purchase next to each of his hips. 

Claire kissed him, brushing his hair back from his face as he slipped a few fingers into the bottom edge of her shirt. 

"Still okay?" Alfie whispered. 

Claire nodded, and he raised her shirt up over her breasts as she shrugged off her jacket. Knowing that, despite her own signals, if he were to touch her too directly, she'd panic, Alfie pressed a kiss to her heart, gently running a firm hand up her back, stopping just short of her bra. 

"I want to try again." Alfie said quietly against her skin before looking up at her. 

"Try what?" 

"What you wanted in Houston... You did want that, right?" Claire looked away, as if hoping for an excuse, "Claire, you know it's okay to want me to do things, and say so. It's just us." 

"I still feel weird..." 

"About spit, right? This is different, so different... I'm right here with you, nothing bad is going to happen." Alfie said softly, peeling her shirt from her body with gentle hands, "I really think you forgot to be afraid, and what came out was, just..." 

"Hot? Pretty sure you said hot before." Claire muttered. 

"Trust." Alfie replied, "You trusted me completely, and you let go... I just want to help you feel that again." 

Claire looked concerned, "You think I don't trust you?" 

"Not enough to relax like that, but that has never been your fault." he said, letting his hands come to a standstill. 

After a moment's thought, Claire dropped off of his lap, landing heavily on the bed, and stretched out on her back. 

Alfie turned to look at her, his hand on her knee, and concern on his face, "Are you okay? Do you need to stop?" 

"Come here." Claire's tone was a gentle insistence, but it carried a hint of an order. 

Alfie started to lay down beside her, but she pulled him to get above her, "What are you doing?" 

"I trust you." 

He could hear the strain in her voice, "Forcing yourself to stay calm... I don't want things to be like that." 

"Every time it gets easier." 

"And then you have nightmares." Alfie replied, pulling away. 

"Fine." Claire answered, starting to get up from the bed. Alfie caught her hand and pulled her closer, pulling her knee over his hip and reaching for the button on her jeans. 

Claire kissed him firmly, but he pulled back slightly to slow her down. 

"You're confusing me." Claire said with a whisper. 

"I'm distracting you." Alfie replied, before sitting up and quickly slipping her shoes from her feet, letting them drop to the floor, and taking hold of her open waistband, peeling her jeans down her legs. 

Claire had her bra off before he could reach for her hands, but he caught them when she reached for her underwear, holding them gently at her hips, "Slow... Stand up." 

Alfie caught her waist, and steadied her as she stood up on the bed, and guided her closer to the wall, his hands never leaving her skin. 

Claire put a hand against the wall, reluctant to put her back to it, despite having done so before, but Alfie was not about to suggest it. 

Alfie leaned close, his inner forearms dropped against her thighs, pressing several kisses to the tender flesh of her stomach as his fingers curled slowly into her waistband, his movements restrained and deliberate to the point that he felt he was nearly robotic. Only the sound of her breathing kept him from losing interest as he paid more attention to not causing her to panic than he did his actual actions. 

His lips followed the edge of the fabric as he slipped it lower, continuing to press firm, measured kisses to her coarse curls as he reached behind her to pull the silky fabric down her legs. 

Reaching her knees, he noticed she started to tremble as he tilted his chin upward, mouthing her lips with a delicate motion, pressing inward separate them with his mouth. Houston had been so different... 

Claire leaned hard on the wall as she felt him pull at her flesh with a tightening suction before his tongue swept softly across her skin. 

Unprepared for her silence, Alfie raised his eyes to her face before repeating his motions. Claire was trembling still, and had raised her free hand to her mouth, biting down on a knuckle. 

The soft mattress made it difficult for her to keep her footing as Alfie intensified his efforts below her. Claire whimpered as he dug deeper into her soft, slick folds, his hands holding her firmly. 

Claire had never implied she didn't still want what she'd asked him for, and after a few more moments of exploring her flesh, he took a soft hold of her skin with his teeth, still moving his tongue against her. 

With a shaking, gasping swear, she swayed heavily, "Alfie!... I can't... can't stand up..." 

Alfie quickly put an arm between her legs and pulled her along with him, laying back on the bed, guiding her to rest on her knees above him, her own hand falling to her thigh to attempt to keep her balance and hold her weight off of him. 

Even with physical desire controlling her, she began to resist, certain that for some elusive reason, she had to pull away. Alfie caught her hips and held her tight. Another gentle bite into her flesh gave just enough pressure to make her buck her hips with a shattered gasp, and for a few seconds as his strong hands rocked her hips gently in a rhythm against his mouth, everything was perfect. She had no issue continuing as long as he wanted. Everything was warm, textured... and wet? 

"Stop." she could feel her own tone change as something within her mind snapped back into place. The scars of emotional and mental trauma protested against the impassioned complacency of her body, screaming at her that saliva and genitals were a dangerous mix, "I need to stop." 

Alfie had already let go of her hips, cooperating as she moved away, careful not to make physical contact before getting her attention. 

"Hey... right here, come here... Still with you." Alfie murmured until Claire had calmed enough to reach for him as he sat up. As Claire's metaphorical shell began to reopen, he wrapped her carefully in his arms. 

Claire kissed him, softly at first, and his expectations dropped, but she soon became more insistent as she pushed her own reaction further from her mind. Alfie considered the probability that she was slipping back into her hectic and more forceful state, and took the initiative as she started to move to press him back down on the bed. 

"Did you check your app?" Alfie asked softly, catching her hands to stay upright, and shifted to get his legs below him. 

"On the way over." Claire said quickly, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as he pulled her closer. 

"And?" 

"Supposed to start in two days." Claire answered, as Alfie pulled one of her knees across his lap. 

Alfie smiled softly, shifting the pajama pants he wore down his hips as Claire was suddenly completely focused on his neck and collarbones, "I thought you said you weren't just coming over here to jump me?" 

"I always check. I get in the car, start the engine, buckle, check it, then drive over. Every time." 

Alfie brought his hands back to hold her snuggly, finding her gaze, "So, it's a habit?... Or do you actually put thought into this?" 

"I have no idea, I just do." Claire replied dismissively. She shifted, trying to get as much of her skin against him as possible, and finding him hard and bare. 

"I need to know." Alfie said in a quiet, but insistent tone. 

Claire's shrug quickly turned into a nod, "I don't know why I do it. But every time I come over here, there's a chance, and I... I prefer it." 

"Why?" 

"Because it feels closer to you." Claire said softly, "I need that. It's easier to focus on you than on what we're doing." 

"You need me?" Alfie asked in a breathy whisper. 

Claire nodded, "Yeah, I really do... I don't think I could ever trust anybody else like this... Did, um... Did you want to stop?" 

Alfie shook his head, still staring at her, and he carefully shifted, allowing their bodies to align. He held perfectly still as Claire slowly sank around him with a tiny noise of pleasure as her body was penetrated. The edges of her nails pressed into his shoulder, and as her head rocked back, he brought his lips gently to the front of her neck. 

Once she was seated, Claire squirmed and kissed him roughly, tangling a hand in his hair as she gave a soft rock against him. With one hand on her back, the other on her thigh, Alfie held her snuggly and adjusted the position of his knees to thrust easier, starting slowly, not at all surprised as Claire suddenly grasped him tightly and apart from a small shudder, stopped moving. 

"Claire... hey, stay with me... talk to me..." Alfie said softly, trying to catch her eyes with his own. 

Claire whimpered roughly, "I'm okay... more..." 

One of her arms dropped to the hand he had on her thigh, and she pulled it free as she clung tightly to his hips and shoulders, putting it on her hip. 

"Claire, I gotta know you'll stop me." Alfie whispered as he buried his face in her hair, "If you don't want to talk to me-" 

Claire gritted her teeth against a wave of intense sensations driving her closer, and tightened her arms around him, dragging her nails sharply across the back of his shoulders, making him growl through the pain, "Teeth, not nails, Claire! We talked about this!" 

Alfie was quickly hushed as she kissed him hard, quieting her own feral moan before pulling back, "Harder." 

With an imperceptible nod through their continuing motion, Alfie shifted the hand on her back down to her other hip, and began to move faster. Holding her hips, he found he could feel her motions more clearly, and become less concerned about listening for any hint of distress in her voice. 

He could feel it easily as she started to move in a far more urgent manner, her legs tightening around him as she matched his rhythm perfectly. He recognized the sounds Claire made, and finally relaxed, unworried that he'd have to stop abruptly, possibly even midstroke as he'd had to do too many times, despite his willingness to do so. He'd accomplished getting her into a comfort zone, in which she'd allow him to control the motion, knowing he'd follow any request she made. 

Claire fought herself to raise her voice in actual words, "Close... Alfie... I wanna try..." 

"Last time?" Alfie asked, "... so good... don't want to ruin it." 

Claire gasped as he felt the first wave, and she grabbed him hard, shoving one foot into the mattress and dragging him over on top of her as she fell on her back, "Don't stop!" 

At first, Alfie was surprised that despite the sudden movement, he was still inside her, but as she started to shake roughly, her body clamping down around him, he began to thrust as hard as he could, as her body convusled, pulling his head closer by his hair, huffing and and panting, and finally giving in to a weakened scream that burst from her lips, clinging to him in desperation. 

He slowed as she started to tremble, her orgasm subsiding, "Claire?" 

"More." she said in a high whisper, and he kept moving, more gently now. He kissed her softly as he continued, "... I love you." 

Watching her carefully once more, understanding how precarious the position was, Alfie moved a little faster, still in a gentle motion, unwilling to cause Claire any discomfort, even as her breathing began to pick up in speed again, her hands roaming his chest, neck, shoulders and arms. 

"I love you, too... still okay?" 

Claire nodded, and Alfie continued to attempt to keep his weight off her. He kissed her passionately, a soft hum gathering in the back of his throat as he felt his body nearing release. 

He focused on the feel of her body wrapped around him, a quiet moan that slipped out as she seemed perfectly relaxed, and her blonde locks flung across the pillow as she'd landed. Her lips were reddened, and a thin layer of sweat made her skin glow. 

Claire cupped a hand around the back of his shoulder and pulled it down close enough to press her lips to, not a proper kiss, but affectionate just the same. 

In the same moment, the thought crossed his mind that they'd made a great leap in progress together, and he leaned heavily on one arm, pulling out of her quickly, catching himself with the other hand, finishing in his palm as his body collapsed over her. 

Shaking, he rose from the bed, feeling her hand on his skin until he'd stepped out of reach to clean himself up with a box of facial tissues on his dresser. Everything was perfect. Or, it had been until he turned around. 

Claire had raised up on one elbow, turned toward him, a look of mild horror on her face. Assuming the worst, he asked, "What? What's wrong?" 

"You're bleeding. Bring the box over here." Claire replied, sitting up slowly, making room for him as he came back to the bed. She took the box of tissues from him and began dabbling his back. 

"How bad is it?" Alfie asked. 

"Looks like I caught on your scar. You didn't notice blood running down your back?" 

"I was busy." Alfie chuckled, "Um... so, how much grime did you tattoo me with?" 

Claire sheepishly looked at her fingernails, then back to Alfie, "Not enough to leave a mark, definitely enough it could cause an infection. Sorry." 

Alfie shrugged, "You were having fun, that part was exactly how it was supposed to go... Except the part when you got on your back, I didn't-" 

"I wanted to." Claire cut him off, still dabbing at the blood, "We gotta clean this. You have stuff to put on it?" 

Alfie shrugged, "I just thought you could cauterize it. I'm sure you can find out how online." 

* * *


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Okay, my kids are slowing me down, my shoulder is slowing me down, and so are other health issues. Also my phone updated, resetting my keyboard's learned words, and keeps correcting 'before' to 'veggie.' So, despite the massive amount of words I've managed through the phone already, I'm getting a laptop tomorrow. You won't notice too much, but for me, it'll be like a whole new era, lol.
> 
> Okay, enough of that, time for an uncomfortable dad-moment.
> 
> Thanks for reading! FW)

* * *

Dean was being nearly swallowed by the front end of a Dodge Ram not long after opening for the day, when across the shop, he heard Lucas fussing over something. Wearily, he stood up as Alfie hurried past him toward the office, before looking back to Lucas, "What was that?" 

"He's bleeding." Lucas answered, toeing the dolly on the ground next to the car Alfie had been under. A red smear showed on the heavy duty yellow plastic among the years of built up grime, close to the headrest. 

"How the hell did he do that?" Dean asked, perplexed. 

Lucas gave a shrug and Dean spun around, headed for the office. Through the dark hallway and around the corner, he found Alfie attempting to get a brown paper towel down the back of his shirt. 

"You okay? What happened?" 

Alfie shrugged, "It's nothing." 

"Bullshit. How does your back start bleeding when you're laying on it?" Dean demanded. 

Alfie shook his head, "I promise, you don't want to know." 

"So it was Claire." Dean's expression immediately changed. 

"Got it in one. Congrats, you win a toaster." Alfie said quietly, "Any other non-work-related uncomfortable subjects you want to get into?" 

Dean shook his head, "I don't even was t to get into this one. C'mon. We'll head over to Bobby's, I'll patch you up." 

"You're going to make me talk." Alfie guessed. 

"Yeah." Dean answered, gesturing for the door. 

Alfie begrudgingly trekked to the small house inside the junkyard, determined not to say a word more than relevant. Dean didn't speak. Alfie turned around as the door shut behind him. 

"You know you can't grill me on this, right? It's none of your business." 

"Right, yeah. I'm just gonna let you bleed all over the shop." Dean answered sarcastically, moving past him to the kitchen, pulling a first aid kit from under the sink, "Did she do this on purpose?" 

"What?" Alfie asked. 

"What caused it?" 

Alfie chuckled, "Dean, I'm not talking about this with you." 

"The back of your shirt is soaked. People don't generally loose that much blood, not even with kinky knife shit. Trust me, you're not gonna surprise me, I've heard it all, and done plenty myself. But if she did this on purpose, that's crossing the line, putting you at risk, and getting laid isn't worth the risk of dying. So what happened? Cutting? Flogging? What?" 

"Nails." Alfie answered quietly with a shrug. 

Dean looked horrified, "What? ....Like a bucket of them from the hardware store? Jesus Christ, kid." 

"No! It was just fingernails, she snagged the scar, and..." Alfie explained, and carefully attempted to peel away the fabric from his shoulders as Dean stepped closer. 

"How long ago?" Dean asked, looking over the damaged skin. 

Three deep red lines crossed his skin at an obvious angle, a fourth, milder line accompanied them. The skin was reddened and puffy, blood seeped from the edges of thick scabs. 

"Um... A couple days ago, I guess." 

Dean shook his head, "It's infected, I can help you out, but you need antibiotics... You're both idiots... You're both mechanics, for god's sake, that kind of dirt doesn't belong in a human body. You get that, right?" 

"Are you seriously lecturing me about this?" 

"Who else is going to?" Dean asked harshly, "I'm hoping I don't have to spell it out for you, what else could happen. Now I'm wondering if I need to have the same talk with her, before one of you ends up septic." 

"It wasn't on purpose, okay? And since you're going to ask, it wasn't defensive, either." Alfie mumbled. 

"I wasn't going to ask you that." 

Alfie looked over his shoulder, "Yeah, right." 

Dean shook his head, "You're not the type. She might be, though." 

"What does that mean?" 

"What usually happens if you piss her off?" Dean asked, digging through the kit. 

Alfie shrugged, "I try not to." 

"She get violent with you?" 

The question hung in the air as Alfie wrapped his mind around it, making more of an effort to understand it rather than answer. 

"All the crap you give me, and you're worried she beats me up?" Alfie asked, his voice quiet. 

"It happens... You're more likely to be abused by somebody who's been abused. What she went through, damn near anything could set her off." Dean answered, "Like that black eye you didn't want to talk about?" 

"She was asleep when that happened. That could have happened with anybody." 

Dean smoothed down a last piece of tape, "There should still be a few old tshirts in the closet upstairs, I'll clock you out, go run into town and hit urgent care. If you get that one moron, Torres, ask for somebody else if you have to, but don't leave without a prescription for antibiotics, and I mean pills, not just a cream, got it?" 

Alfie nodded, "Yeah." 

"And as for Claire-" 

Alfie stopped him by speaking forcefully, even while avoiding his eyes, "It's not her fault that I was... doing a really good job, okay? So can we just drop it?" 

Dean didn't move, or speak until Alfie, seemingly left with no other option, met his gaze, "Fine. I'll drop it, if you tell me what she did once she saw how bad the scratches were." 

Uncomfortable, Alfie shrugged, "She, uh... She cleaned up the blood, helped me wash them out, put ointment on it, and used some butterfly tape on the worst spots." 

"Did she say she was sorry?" 

"Yeah, a bunch of times. She would never do this on purpose. It was an accident." 

* * *

Kevin tried to focus as Rowena continued to criticize him, death by a thousand papercuts, to be sure, but he was searching her words for anything he could improve on. 

Her fury became a blur of ginger and accent, pointing fingers at the plastic practice head before him. 

Finally, she paused for a breath, and he interrupted before she could start again, "So what do I do to improve on this? How do I move forward?" 

"Grow a pair of tits!" she snapped, "Then maybe you'll hold the scissors correctly." 

Kevin shrugged, "You're the boss." 

Rowena huffed and stormed off across the room. 

"That'll be something to see." Kaya chuckled at the next station. 

"What?" 

"Man-boobs." 

"They'll come in handy when my baby's born. Give my special lady a break sometimes." 

With a tiny snort and giggle, Kaya shook her head, "So, how are you gonna do it? Gain an extra hundred pounds this weekend? Or get implants?" 

"I'll do what I have to." 

"I have an idea, come outside when me and Marsha go for a smoke. She'll help us out." 

"Sure." Kevin answered, "I'm up for ideas." 

* * *

Ivan sat in the usual unoccupied booth, coloring on a child's placemat and speaking softly to Cyndi, waiting on the shop order. 

For once, the plague of busybodies were nowhere to be seen as Julie scurried between the few tables she had, and bussing a few others while Cyndi was occupied. 

Ivan was drawing shapes, but looked up as Julie hurried past, heading for the kitchen, "She's doing it for you, you know... I know you get bored in here, but, I totally see it... You're lucky to have her." 

Cyndi reached for his hand as he was filling in a roughly drawn circle, "Boo." 

"Blue?" 

"Bwoo." she answered, pulling the crayon from his hand. 

"Yeah." Ivan replied, watching as she started to scribble in a large star, "Blue is good. You see any other stuff that's blue?" 

"No." 

"You use that one a lot. You know, you're really tall, you don't have to say that to pass for two... I don't mean to freak you out, munchkin, but I think your mom and I kind of get along. So maybe we should be friends. You think we can be friends?" 

"No." 

Ivan nodded, "Well, I had a rough time in your spot. And you're too little to get this, but, maybe I'm gonna ruin everything if this gets serious, but one thing that's not gonna happen, is nobody's gonna push you aside, okay? Don't ever let anybody do that... And if anybody does, you come tell me, I'll handle it." 

"No." 

"You like cars, right?" 

"No." the toddler echoed. 

"You've been hanging out with those old ladies too long." 

* * *

"Religious discrimination?" Dean repeated, looking up at the dark ceiling. Cas sat on the bench below the open window, Dean's head in his lap, stroking through his hair. 

"That's what the complaint lists." 

"You stand up for the kids to be able to wear all kinds of religious symbols in plain sight, and now they think you're picking on somebody for what they believe?" 

"Of course. I'm a godless heathen, aren't I? Fire and brimstone, pillar of salt, the whole nine yards." 

"What is... Did you just make a joke about Sodom and Gomorrah?" 

"I never liked that story." Cas answered, leaning his head back against the side of the frame, listening to the wind in the trees. 

"But your V.P. was standing right there, right? So you have a witness." 

Cas tilted his head in a mock shrug, "It gets worse." 

"How?" 

"Because Ben is the catalyst... favoritism, preferential treatment." 

"Bullshit. You would've stepped up for any of your kids." 

Cas chuckled, "My kids." 

"Got a whole damn herd of 'em, there's what, two hundred in the school? ... And you say I pick up strays." 

"You do. You bring them home, I leave mine at the kennel." 

Dean shook his head, "I leave mine at the kennel, too." 

"How long was Kip living on your couch?" 

"You weren't jealous, were you?" Dean asked jokingly. 

"I could have been, if you weren't sneaking over here the whole time." 

Dean chuckled, "You weren't... You know what I like, that's a hell of a lot better than something new, and way too inexperienced." 

Cas looked out the window pensively, speaking softly into the night air, "I used to think there was no difference between settling down and just settling... Maybe I'm getting old." 

"That's part of life, isn't it? What you want, what you need, that's supposed to change with time. I think we're both on track with that." Dean sat up, taking his beer from the windowsill, taking a deep drink before settling back against Cas' chest, "You haven't even brought up what you want for the honeymoon." 

"Why? Is there some part of you I've left untouched?" 

Dean laughed, "I don't think so, but you better touch it all again, just to be sure." 

Cas settled his cheek against the top of Dean's head, and his arms across Dean's chest. 

"So... Hawaii's out, right?" 

"Yes." 

"How about a cruise? Hit a bunch of places?" 

"Do they have soundproof cabins?" 

Dean shrugged, "Montana might." 

"What arrangements should we make for the children?" 

"Well, Claire's not a kid. And depending when this happens, school, so... I mean, if she's not up for it, or if we wait for summer, then Sam and Jess can take Ben." 

"How long of a trip are we discussing?" 

Dean shrugged, "Two, three weeks?" 

"I'm not sure I'm comfortable with Claire caring for Ben for that long." 

"Her friends are the same age, and they're having a baby. Ben is easy, mostly free-range at this point. Hell, same age as Ben, I had Sammy full time. Besides, she took him for a weekend without asking, so, she set herself up for it... we ask her, if she thinks she can do it, we give her a trial run, let her take over for a few small things first. If that goes okay, we're fine." 

Cas nodded absently, "And how was your day? I forgot to ask." 

"I'm gonna do you a huge favor and spare you the details." Dean replied, "Trying not to think about it too much, myself." 

Dean took another drink of his beer, and ran his hand along the inside of Cas' thigh. 

"Okay, I wanna know, why the nipple ring?" 

Cas shrugged, "It seemed like a good idea at the time." 

He felt Dean shake his head, "No. I know I know you better than that. You really think things through. So there's gotta be more to it." 

"I was in something of an experimental phase, and for some reason, that one was less sensitive than the other. An ex of mine suggested it, he'd had his done, and, as he predicted, it was much more sensitive aftwerward." 

"But just one, why not both?" 

"Because while I was getting it done, he made a comment about them making good attachment points for a car battery... He'd already taken things too far a few times, I just hadn't been ready to end it yet, but that sealed the deal. So I pretended to wimp out, and left it at one." 

Dean clumsily set his beer on the windowsill again, and carefully turned over, half in Cas' lap, his hand coming to rest on Cas' shoulder, "It's never gonna be like that with us." 

"I still get worried you're going to get bored with my lack of breasts." 

"Don't be... I was completely faithful to Lisa, never got bored with her lack of a dick." 

"That's different." Cas replied. 

"Damn straight it is. Don't get me wrong, she was easily the best woman I ever knew, I fell for her, just, so hard. But with you, there's more to it. It's easier. Nobody's ever gonna wonder if I treat you like shit at home, if I beat you. Hell, we're close enough to the same size to borrow clothes, I don't have to worry that I'm gonna break you. We're going through some pretty similar stuff in life... But the biggest thing, I think, is that you were a friend first. A good friend. That's how I knew it was real." 

"I've been wondering for a long time... Our second date, playing pool, right before... well, Uri's car... You never lose... You scratched on purpose, didn't you?" 

Dean smirked, "Now why the hell would I do that?" 

"You did." 

"Sure, if it boosts your ego, we can say that." Dean chuckled. 

"I've watched you run hustlers out of the bar, Dean. You don't scratch." 

Dean shrugged, but went silent. 

"You let me win the first round as well, didn't you?" 

"You were under a lot of stress." 

"I should have known." Cas replied. 

Dean leaned in closer, and kissed him gently, before glancing downward, "How did we manage all of that, uh, activity last week, and this thing still holds both of us, and doesn't even creak?" 

"It's reinforced." 

"With what, rebar?" 

"...Possibly." 

Dean tried not to gawk as he slipped his gaze across Cas' form, subconsciously licking his lips before a smirk settled in, "You know, I can't help it, I get this mental image of you, down in the garage, shirtless, sweaty, hammer and nails, just pounding away, clamps, glue, two-by-fours... Makes me want to break something, just to watch you fix it." 

* * *

Ben noticed Claire bustling around in her room, sorting out her backpack with the door open as he'd been leaving his own door, and stopped in her doorway. 

"What's up?" she asked. 

"I don't think they're building a neighborhood." 

Claire looked up abruptly, "What?" 

"The construction site. I don't think it's a neighborhood." 

"What else would they build? The developers have been trying to get a foothold out here for years." 

Ben shrugged, "There's one road, not a bunch." 

"They gotta start with something to get the trucks in and out." 

"And the foundation looks way too big... I looked on a satellite map... It's like, twice as big as the shop. You could fit four houses in that space." 

Claire pushed her hair back, "So, what would that mean?" 

"Well, they have cattle, maybe a slaughterhouse?" 

Claire shook her head, "Cheaper to sell them and ship them." 

"Then maybe they sold just a little bit of the land to some business?" 

"Why do you care?" Claire asked, honest confusion in her eyes. 

Ben shrugged, "You said it was family stuff. Maybe not on my side, but that involves you, and your dad, so, y'know, family, right?" 

He shifted uncomfortably as Claire watched him for a minute, finally giving a week nod, and returning her attention to her backpack, "Okay, listen, it's been almost a hundred years since any of the ranch has been owned by my family, I can't be attached to something I never had, right? Its nice to sneak out there sometimes, just to clear your head, but it's not mine. Never was. It didn't belong to my dad, either. I don't have any claim to it. Eventually you just have to let things go. You only get about eighty, ninety years in this life, if you're lucky, and buying up a big chunk of real estate... no... Get out in the world and see it, do stuff that scares you, and help when you can instead of sitting in one spot and telling everyone to stay off your lawn." 

"You sound like Bobby." Ben whispered. 

Claire closed her backpack, "He was really smart... How come you didn't come sit with us on the porch? You knew him." 

"Because I knew him different from you three. I didn't ever need his help, so, not the same thing. My dad said I could, but I didn't feel like I needed to." 

"Maybe next time? I'm sure Bobby would have been happy to have everybody there." 

"Maybe... So, they were serious, earlier? You're really taking over for Halloween weekend? And they're going out of town?" 

"Well, I'm going to cheat a bit, not hover like Dean does. But that's more freedom for you if you can keep your mouth shut." 

Ben smirked, "Awesome. Maybe I'll steal your car and rob a bank." 

Claire shot him a warning glance, "Couldn't care less about the bank, but touch my car, and I'm gonna do the next tune up with tools I make from your skeleton." 

Ben nodded, "So you're not gonna teach me to drive while they're gone?" 

"No." 

"I showed Jack and Xander the zombie makeup thing you sent me, but I don't know if Trey is gonna be hanging with us. He got invited to some high school party." 

Claire scoffed, "You don't get a redo on middle school. Well, unless you're a moron... Anyway, you've got four years for high school, so, stick with the kid crap for now. I gotta get to the shop, I'm late." 

Ben quickly stepped aside for her as she made a beeline for the stairs. He was starting back to his own room as she called back over her shoulder. 

"Don't eat all the twinkies I hid behind the flour." 

"Consider them gone." Ben called in response. 

* * *

Lucas gave Claire an odd look when she stepped into the bay before he scurried off to parts unknown. 

"What the hell was that?" she asked. 

Ivan was close by, and shook his head with a chuckle, "Nothing. He's a dumbass." 

Claire went for her coveralls before going to sign in, finding Randy's stocky form searching for a manual by the desk. 

"Oh, hey. Making up some hours for Alfie?" 

"No, I'm on the schedule. Where's Alfie?" 

"Dean sent him home yesterday, said not to come back until his skin closes up." 

Claire's eyebrows rose with concern, "Did he get hurt?" 

Randy laughed quietly, and headed for the garage, "Not here. Might be time for you to get a manicure, though." 

"A what?" 

Claire shrugged and clocked in, tied up her hair, and went to the doorway of Dean's office. Dean was at his desk, the desk phone running hold music, and sorting stacks of paper. 

"Why is everybody acting weird, and what happened to Alfie? He didn't tell me." 

"You two got a little too crazy, he bled all over one of the dollys, and none of these assholes can keep their mouths shut." Dean answered, "If they give you any shit over it, shut 'em down or let me know, and I'll handle it." 

Claire's stomach dropped, "What?" 

Dean didn't look up, only waving her into the office, and waiting until she shut the door. 

"So it got worse?" 

"Yeah, inflamed, oozing more than just blood. You gotta be more careful." Dean replied. 

"And they all know?" 

Catching the hint of trepidation in her voice, Dean looked up, "It's none of their business what you two do in your free time. You're adults. You also outrank everyone here but me, so face the music, but remind them you're not taking any crap." 

"They aren't going to pick on him about this, you know? Because he's a guy." 

"They might, but they won't do it with you around." 

"Why didn't you tell me yesterday? That everybody knew?" 

"Because it's about your boyfriend, and your job, and has nothing to do with Cas and Ben, who were in earshot the whole time. You wanna talk to Cas, or not, that's your business." 

Claire nodded, glancing at the door. 

"Hey..." Claire looked back to Dean as he spoke, "Embarrassing shit like this is just part of growing up. Strength and dignity. You got this... If that doesn't work, can 'em." 

Claire nodded again, and set her jaw before walking out of the office with her head held high. 

* * *


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Getting back into the swing of things!
> 
> Also, Julie's ex is an ass. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, you guys make my day. FW)

* * *

Ben opened the door to find Kevin standing on the porch. 

"Hey, is your sister around?" 

"She's not-" 

"C'mon, you know she is." 

"Upstairs." Ben said, stepping back, and pointing. 

Kevin went up the stairs quickly as Ben followed close behind, curious. 

"Claire-bear, I need to grow boobs, and I've only got ten minutes before I get back on the highway," Kevin called, rounding the corner into Claire's open door, "Can you help me out? It's important." 

"Do I wanna know?" Claire asked, looking up from her laptop and pulling an earbud free. 

Kevin shrugged, "You know Margaret's would never fit." 

Claire rolled her eyes, getting up from the desk, "How do you not have your own by now?" 

Ben leaned on the door frame, watching as Claire crossed the room to her dresser, and opened a drawer, pulling out a bra, almost horrified as Kevin dragged his shirt off and struggled into it. Claire turned him around and adjusted the straps to a looser setting for his larger shoulders before opening another drawer and passing him a few pairs of socks. Kevin immediately began stuffing them into the cups of the bra. 

"Not too big, I want to look natural." 

"There's nothing natural about this." Claire answered, tugging the band to sit lower on his rib cage. 

"Okay, am I done?" Kevin asked, reaching for his discarded shirt and pulling it on carefully, trying not to dislodge the bra or it's filling, "What do you think?" 

"You look like a guy with boobs." Claire answered with a shrug. 

"Perfect!" Kevin exclaimed, stepping closer and making a quick fake kiss next to her cheek, and heading for the stairs, "You're a lifesaver, and I owe you for this! I gotta go!" 

Claire shook her head and found Ben staring after Kevin, completely perplexed. 

"What the heck just happened, just now?" 

Claire shrugged, "I'm sure I'll find out later. Didn't you have homework?" 

"He just... Why would he want fake boobs? And why would you just hand him a bra like that?" 

"Because Kevin is an odd duck, but he usually has good reasons for the crap he gets into, so whatever he's doing this for, it's important. He'll tell me later." 

Ben nodded, "Did you guys ever date?" 

"No. We're just friends. Always have been." 

"But he just kissed you." 

Claire scoffed, "That wasn't a real kiss." 

"What's the difference?" 

"You'll figure it out." Claire answered, "I have to finish this video lesson, if you need any help with homework, bug me in about twenty minutes." 

* * *

"Think you're clever, today, then?" Rowena asked. 

Kevin smiled politely, "Following orders. If it helps me work better, I just might get them done permanently." 

She huffed and walked away to the other side of the room in disgust as Kevin adjusted an underwire carefully, and went to his station near the back of the class. 

Kaya was smirking and let out a chuckle as Kevin adjusted his shirt over the false breasts, "I'll never get used to thin straps. Not after using a padded one for a Dolly Pardon costume." 

"At least you're in proportion. Didn't use balloons, did you?" she whispered. 

"No, didn't want to deflate." Kevin muttered. 

Kaya gestured to one of the stations nearby which had a much clearly view of them than the front of the room, "Marsha set her phone up at Rita's station, Rita said she'd help. We just have to watch for the signal." 

"Awesome." 

Rowena soon started the day's instruction, bringing up a photo of a complex braided hairstyle on the large whiteboard through a projector, "You have a client that wants to replicate this design as closely as possible. You all have varying lengths to start with, and more customers waiting. You're going to do your best with what you have available, and do it quickly. She's going out tonight, it needs to be secure." 

With a quick press of a button on Marsha's phone, Rita gave them a nod, and Kevin and Kaya each set to work at their stations. 

* * *

"Seriously? You did that?" Julie asked, laughing at Ivan across the picnic table outside the frozen custard stand. 

Ivan shrugged, "Yeah, I was an asshole. But we're cool now." 

"That's good... Okay, I can't take it anymore, I have to go wash the strawberry syrup off my hands." 

"I'll be here." 

"Don't steal my cherry." Julie said quickly, getting up from the table. 

Ivan let out a quick guffaw before he could stop himself, but catching her embarrassed look, he soon recovered, "Well, we can pretend, right? ...I'm kidding, I'll guard your ice cream." 

Julie giggled quietly as she left the table, heading for the small single washroom on the other side of the tiny building. 

Ivan had pretended not to notice the large truck that had circled around the block twice since they'd sat down. 

The same truck now pulled into the drive-through that circled around the back of the building, stopping as close as possible to the table. The tinted drivers side window rolled down, and Chaz sat inside, looking somewhere between irritated and unimpressed. 

"Hey!... What do you think you're doing?" Chaz called. 

Ivan refused to look at him directly, "Licking an ice cream while trying not to look gay, but if it got your attention, I can't be doing a very good job of it." 

"What are you doing with Julie?" 

Ivan scoffed, "That's between me and her. You missed your chance." 

"Fuck you. I hope you both get herpes." 

"Nice truck." Ivan replied, "That's the compensation model, right? Comes with a free strap on?" 

"You wanna go, shit for brains?" 

"I want _you_ to go. I want to sit here and eat my ice cream without listening to some Neanderthal in a truck slap his chest." 

Chaz started to yell something in response, but seeing Julie headed back to the table, turned his attention to her, instead, "Fucking skank! Dating a goddamn criminal, you assholes deserve each other! You're both trash!" 

The engine roared as Chaz drove off, the oversized tires easily scaling the cement curb of the drive-through and putting the truck back on the street as obnoxiously as possible. 

Ivan turned to find Julie looking emotionally exhausted as she resumed her walk to the table. 

"I'm sorry," Julie said in a quiet, defeatist tone, "Maybe I should call it a day, head home." 

She picked up her purse, about to walk away, but Ivan caught her hip, and gently steered her to sit on his lap, using a free couple of fingers on the same hand as the cone to pull her sundae across the table in front of her, "C'mon, it's not that bad, right? I'd feel weird sitting here all by myself." 

"How the hell can you even stand to be seen with me?" 

"What? Because some ex of yours decided to make an ass of himself in broad daylight? He's the only one who should be ashamed, here." 

Ivan waited for a reply, but Julie went quiet. 

"He's her dad, right?" Ivan asked, pretending to pay more attention to his cone rather than her answer while giving her a quick squeeze. 

"No." she answered quickly, "No, she doesn't have one. I didn't list anybody on her birth certificate, and I didn't go after anybody for child support, and nobody takes her on the weekends." 

"Is it better that way?" Ivan asked. 

"Better then what?" 

Ivan nodded, "Okay... I think I get it..." 

"What's to get?" 

"You said you didn't know, but you get shy way too fast. You know exactly who it was, but whoever it was sucked so bad, you don't want him around, or he doesn't want to be around, or both... And, considering what I saw before Claire threw you in the truck, you're probably right." 

Julie kept quiet, sitting awkwardly. 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up. I get how personal that is... You want me to take you home?" 

"I was never even dating him, not really." Julie whispered, "So if you figured it out, then everybody knows, don't they?" 

"Except for telling Claire when it happened, I don't think anyone else knows. And I don't think she would have paid attention to the timing enough to put it together." 

Julie shifted to the chair next to him, picking up the maraschino cherry by the stem and rolling it in what was left of the whipped cream. 

"Does this happen a lot?" Ivan asked, jerking his head in the direction the truck had gone. 

"Only when I try to see somebody... He doesn't want me, doesn't want anything to do with Cyndi, he just wants me to be as miserable as possible." 

Ivan looked around, "So, what keeps you here?" 

Julie looked up, confused, "What do you mean?" 

"This town. I mean, I got here and things sucked for a while, I managed to carve out a place for myself, but for you... It just sounds like this whole town is a coffin, and you just stay in it, waiting for death to show up instead of getting out and living your life." 

"Because Cyndi... I don't know. I can't make enough to put her in daycare, I didn't graduate. I don't have any skills, and I don't have time to try to take classes. She needs me." 

Ivan watched her face, "And you don't have a bunch of relatives trying to help, either." 

Julie shook her head. 

"What do you need most, right now? Not looking ahead, or whatever, just, now... what would make life suck less?" 

"Get Cyndi away from my mom... I worry about the crap she might be learning when I'm not home." 

"Okay... I can help with that." 

Julie scoffed, "How?" 

"Move in with me." 

"Woah, what?" 

"I'm serious. I set that second room up to rent it out, then I changed my mind because I didn't have to. I never use it. You said Cyndi sleeps in your room anyway, not that big of a change." 

"Have you lost it? We've only been going out for a few weeks. Last Thursday night wasn't supposed to happen." 

"Yeah, I know, but it was fun. And anyway, that's why I said both of you in the one room, because it's too early." 

"I can't just rely on some guy to swoop in and save me from the mess I made of my life, okay? It's not going to work." 

Ivan shrugged, "Maybe I'm a really shitty excuse for a stepping stone, hell, even I don't have high expectations for this, but I can get her to eat vegetables and I won't tell her to hit a kid with a rock... I know how crazy this sounds, but Alfie had an extra room when I needed it, it gave me a chance to get on my feet, I'm just trying to do the same thing for you." 

"How do I know this isn't just going to make things worse? I'm not even sure how I feel about you yet." 

Ivan shrugged, "Worst case scenario, we figure out it doesn't work, and things go back to how they were. But it's still a break from your mom." 

"I can't." 

"Okay." 

Julie blinked, "Okay?" 

"Yeah, okay. It's not my job to try to convince you what you and Cyndi need. You know better than I do." Ivan said, crunching into the edge of his cone, "Of course, the next time I get you ladies over for dinner, if it's late, don't feel weird about staying over, okay?" 

* * *

Finishing at roughly the same time, Kevin pretended to fuss with the dummy head until Kaya had finished her last few seconds work, then carefully picked up his as she did the same, switching places, setting the mannequin heads down, then stepping back to their own stations. 

Kaya waited with a smirk, straightening her face as Rowena approached. 

"A bit short to start with, dear, but the loose strands do give it a softer look... And the braid is snug, very good..." Rowena continued to Kevin's station, "And, despite your new rack, we've managed yet another bloody disaster. Where do you think you went wrong?" 

"I didn't." Kevin replied, "You just said mine was good." 

"I said it was a disaster." Rowena pointed to the mannequin head on his station. 

"I haven't touched that one, it's Kaya's. And she did a good job, you're just saying it's crap because you thought I did it." 

Rowena was already fuming as she turned back around, unamused at Kaya's attempt to control her laughter, "I don't believe you." 

"Got it on video, if you wanna see. The whole process right up till now, even got you admitting I did a good job. So, what's a guy gotta do to get a fair shake around here?" Kevin asked. 

"Resort to blackmail, evidently!" Rowena sputtered. 

"If it takes blackmail to get treated fairly, then you're admitting it's not fair to start with." 

"Ooooh, mic-drop!" Kaya cooed. 

Kevin reached into his shirt, retrieving a pair of socks from the bra, and proceeded to make a mic-dropping gesture with them, holding them out and letting them fall to the floor. 

"You're staying after class. We'll be discussing the future of your career." 

* * *

Ben heard Claire leave for the shop, as expected, and headed for the kitchen, looking for a snack. 

The sound of something large striking the garage door startled him, and he ran for the front door. Coming out onto the front porch, he found Cas on a ladder, fastening a bracket to the portion of wall above the middle of the garage door. 

"What are you doing?" 

"Putting up a basketball hoop." Cas answered. 

Ben finally noticed Dean standing at the base of the ladder as he passed the backboard up to Cas, "Why?" 

Ben considered the enraged vocabulary lesson he'd gotten from Claire, and considered her thoughts on basketball hoops above garage doors. 

"Well, I'm sure once Xander is doing better, the three of you will be back at it. And you shouldn't spend all day in the house." Cas replied, "Claire told me she played on a co-ed team in middle school, she might join in sometimes." 

Unsure how to respond, and concerned what Claire's reaction might be, he slunk back into the house. 

"So," Dean asked, "Just felt like doing something nice for the kids, huh?" 

"Well, it certainly wouldn't kill me to get a little more exercise." 

Dean smirked, "I got your exercise right here." 

Cas rolled his eyes as he attached the board to the bracket, "You say that now..." 

"What's the deal with this, anyway? Why are you suddenly doing more than usual?" 

"Why wouldn't I want to look good for the wedding? There's more time if I start now rather than wait until we've set a date." 

"As long as you're doing it to get healthy, not doing it for me. Because you're gonna do it for me no matter what shape you're in." Dean said quietly, steadying the ladder as Cas came down, his eyes wandering. 

"Don't you have a machine to fix, so I can clean you up later?" 

Dean cringed, "Oh, that would have been incredibly hot if it wasn't bringing something else to mind right now." 

"You'll tell me, eventually." 

"Nope. And for that, you're welcome." 

* * *

"I thought we were going to town square?" Xander asked from the front seat of the Chevelle. 

Ben leaned forward from the back where he sat with Jack, "We are, Claire has to pick up something from the college first." 

Claire pulled into a parking lot behind one of the large buildings, and took a deep breath as she shut off the engine, "Okay, you guys better come in with me. I don't want to deal with you pulling some crap if campus security comes through." 

Ben and Jack dutifully unbuckled their seat belts and waited as Claire rounded the car and helped Xander get to his feet before swinging the seatback forward to let them climb out. 

At a measured pace for Xander's sake, the three boys followed her through a few empty corridors, one of which sloped downward. Ben noticed quickly that Xander immediately gripped the handrail of the wall, even as he continued to walk slowly. 

Reaching a door at the bottom of the ramp, Claire turned around, "I just need to stop for a few printouts and a book, you guys can wait in here. Get a good look, but don't touch anything." 

Ben was about to ask Claire a question, but Jack had already opened the door, and Claire was quickly rounding a corner further down the hallway. 

Xander followed Jack inside, and Ben allowed the door to close behind them. 

"Hey, how come you guys picked us up on the way to the college instead of after she got her stuff?" Jack asked, "I bet she would have just left you in the car." 

Inside, they found themselves in a dark theater, an open door next to the stage let out just enough light to see the rows of seats to one side of them, and the stage to the other, just beyond. 

"Hey, I think my sister did a play here one time." Jack said quietly. 

"Was it cool?" Xander asked. 

Jack shrugged, "Hell, I don't know. I told my folks if I couldn't bring a game I was gonna boo her, so I didn't really watch." 

Ben approached the door with the light on. 

"Hello?... Hope it's okay if we're in here. Just waiting on somebody." Ben called, ducking his head inside. 

"What's in there?" Jack asked. 

"Costumes and fake walls. There's a big rack of long dresses." 

"Try one on." Jack chuckled. 

"Guys..." Xander whispered. 

Ben shook his head, "No, but you go ahead. I'll put it online." 

"Guys!" Xander hissed. 

Jack turned around with a huffy "What?!" 

A hint of a squeak came from Jack as Ben looked back toward his friends. Past them, in a cloud of smoke, stood a tall, pale man with blood running from his eyes, snarling. 

Ben moved forward quickly, grabbing Jack and Xander by an arm each, and dragged them into the lit room. Jack snapped out of it, and they both hurried to get the door shut behind them. 

"Shit... Is this place supposed to be haunted?" Ben asked quickly, fear in his voice. 

"How should I know?" Jack snapped. 

"You always know what places in town are supposed to be haunted!" Ben shot back. 

"This wasn't on the website!" Jack barked in reply. 

From the back of the room, a door creaked open, making all three of them jump. A young woman in a Egyptian costume, her pale hair tied back severely, and a wig of black braids in her hand came around the corner of a freestanding wall. She looked friendly, and normal. 

"Hey. You guys aren't supposed to be in here, are you?" she asked with a smile. 

"There's some freaky guy out there with bleeding eyes!" Jack said, frantic. 

The woman looked shocked, and moved straight for the door, "Is he okay?" 

"Don't open the door!" Ben exclaimed too late as she hurriedly threw it open. 

The lights in the room flickered as the apparition reached for her, catching her by the throat with a sickening grin. She gasped, clawing at his hand, finally going limp and dropping in a boneless heap on the floor. 

His eyes raised to the boys again, and he started to move forward toward them. Ben stepped back, knocking into Xander. Everything went black. 

"Oh, shit..." Jack whimpered, "Where is he?" 

Everything was silent for several seconds, leaving their hearts pounding in the still, dark room. 

At the sound of a click behind them, they spun around to find Claire standing behind them, a flashlight below her pale face, dark circles below her eyes, and a convincing cut across her throat, dripping down to her chest. 

"You're all gonna die!" she hissed. 

Jack let out a high pitched yelp, jumping backwards and practically landing on Ben and Xander in the process as Claire's laughter soon went from maniacal to genuine as the room, and the theater beyond, reilluminated. 

Claire let the flashlight down as all three boys attempted to catch their breath. 

"What the hell, Claire?" Ben half-yelled. 

"Whatever, you loved it!" Claire choked out through her laughter, "You said you wanted to be scared, right?" 

Ben looked back to Jack, who had in fact sounded like a girl, and the frightening costume the tall young man wore that didn't seem so scary anymore with the lights on. 

"Okay," Ben relented with a chuckle, "You suck. But, yeah, that was awesome." 

Claire gestured to her friends, "These two drama geeks said they'd help with your zombie makeup... Xander, you okay?" 

Xander was shaking slightly, and gave a weak nod. 

"You better sit down, you don't look too good." 

* * *

Jess looked back and forth between the three men carrying on a lively discussion in the comfortable living room. Both Sam and Cas seemed to have had a bit more wine than they needed, and Dean was content to follow the conversation with the occasional comment. 

Sam had given Dean a copy of the papers he'd asked for, and congratulated him in advance over Claire's adoption, at which point Cas had made a slightly emotional comment about Claire finally getting two decent parents like any child deserved, and being closest, Jess had hugged him. 

Somehow, the conversation had turned to whether golf was a legitimate sport, or a distraction for old men with nothing better to do, and the tone had become far more relaxed. 

"It's a complete waste of time." Dean argued, "And think about how much space you need to play it, it's ridiculous. And plaid pants, okay? I rest my case." 

"You don't get to rest your case until you pass the bar, jerk." Sam replied. 

Cas shook his head with a small smile, "I have played it, I didn't care for it, but I could be talked into playing it again." 

"Okay, I can respect that. But what would you rather do instead?" Sam asked. 

Dean's phone been ringing, and he got up to leave the room to answer it, not catching Cas' answer. 

"Hey, Claire. What's up?" he asked, ducking into the kitchen. 

At a few words from her, his face twisted with concern. 

"You're where?... Why?" Dean asked. His tone immediately hardened, "If he was doing that, where the hell were you?" 

With a frustrated flurry of words he didn't recall later, save for the promise to head out immediately, he ended the call, and marched back into the living room to collect Cas and head for the car. 

* * *


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Told you it would soon, didn't I? Somebody screwed up, somebody else is about to screw up, and yet another person drops an L-bomb.
> 
> Also, I made a tumblr... So... FythyrWisp, if you do that. Not much there yet.
> 
> Thanks for reading, thanks for reviewing, thanks for hanging out and putting up with my weird and inconsistent posting schedule, lol! Love you guys! FW)

* * *

"Hey! Don't cut!" a boy further back in the line yelled as Ben walked Xander back to their spot that Jack held. 

Shaking his head, he followed the line back a few paces, "He's got some medical stuff, okay? He has to sit down, we've been waiting as long as you." 

The boy didn't answer, but as Ben turned back around, a rude slur was uttered quietly, followed by a round of chuckling by those around him. 

"Real mature, asshole." Ben shot back over his shoulder, rejoining his friends. 

Jack was looking at his phone, and put it away, "Trey says he already went through, so he's not coming, but when we get done, he has something awesome planned. We're supposed to meet up by the inflatables on the south side of the square." 

"What are were doing?" Ben asked. 

"Pranking Millie. He's got the whole thing figured out." Jack replied. 

Ben rolled his eyes, "She's never gonna like you if you keep playing jokes on her." 

Xander shrugged with a grin, "His loss. Jack can play as many pranks as he wants, and when she finally gets it that you're not into her, she's all mine." 

"You wish." Jack answered as the line for the haunted house moved forward. 

* * *

Claire jolted as someone practically ran over her, quickly grabbing at her arm. As she realized it was Ben, she gave a thankful breath she hadn't hauled back and punched him at the unexpected contact, and slowed him down to find out what he was saying. 

"C'mon, I want to try the joust one! I think I can take you on this one, let's go!" 

"Are you on a sugar high right now?" 

"Please?" 

Claire passed her drink to Alfie, sitting next to her, and followed Ben over to the giant inflatable jousting ring, kicking off her shoes. 

Margaret sat down next to Alfie, shifting her flowing costume, an old prom dress she'd dyed green and slit up the front to the bust line. Kevin had braided fake leafy vines into her hair, and painted her growing belly to look like a globe. She gestured to the jousting ring, "You got winner?" 

Alfie shook his head, "Nah, I figured we'd go next." 

"Right," she laughed, "Like Kevin would let me." 

"He's not the boss of you, I think you made that pretty clear." Alfie replied, before nodding toward her bare stomach, "So, you two making it public, then?" 

"Yeah... I mean, what's the point in keeping it quiet, right? I think the only people I actually talk to that don't know yet are the guys at the shop." 

"Did Lucas ever ask you out? He said he was going to." 

Margaret chuckled, "He tried, and failed miserably. Spared his ego, though, told him he was sweet to ask... Of course he ruined that by suggesting Kevin wouldn't care." 

"What did you say?" Alfie asked with a chuckle. 

"I told him I didn't have the time for two relationships, but if he was that lonely, he could have a side-thing with Kevin, as long as he wasn't stepping on your toes." 

Alfie laughed harder, and looked over to the ring where after several good blocks, Ben had managed to knock Claire over, off her platform. Claire got up, climbing through the inflated fabric. Ben waited until she'd gotten her balance and was ready to go another round. Alfie was certain had it been himself and Kevin, there would have been no patient grace-period, simply a brutal pummeling with the foam-padded staffs. 

"So, we're going next, right?" Alfie asked. 

"'No hard falls,' 'no getting hit the belly,' 'no doing anything strenuous,' basically I can sit here and eat a couple pieces of candy, but not too much. That's it." 

"That's not a no." 

"I'm not getting in there." 

"Okay. When Kevin gets back, he can kick my ass instead." 

"So you're a masochist? You're not even gonna fight back?" 

"I'm just bored, honestly. But don't tell Claire, she'll just feel bad about it." 

Margaret shrugged, "Find something to do. Make another fancy picture. You haven't been doing that lately." 

"I'm taking a break." 

"Okay. How about I take your picture, and you can make that into one of those... whatever you do. Things?" 

Alfie looked to consider it, "Can you drive a camera better than a car?" 

"Shut up." Margaret laughed, "What kind of photo apps do you have on your phone?" 

Alfie pulled out his phone and began changing settings for the conditions of the dark street and the harsh lights that kept it bright enough to see clearly. 

"So I was snooping... I know you know I do that, and I know you don't care... Kevin said you hate being alone, and you put up with just about anything because of that... I found a big ripped print out behind that second dresser in your mom's old room." Margaret said quietly. 

"Somebody was bound to find it someday. I would have bet on Kevin finding it first, but he'd know what it was." 

"So... Should I ask him? I mean, how sensitive of a subject is it?" 

"What do you mean?" Alfie asked. 

Claire had started back toward them as Ben's friends had called him away. Alfie caught a glimpse of them headed down a dark alley between the barber shop and an antiques store, disappearing into the shadows. It would have worried him in a larger town, but in this small one, it didn't seem to matter. 

"Who is she? Or who was she?" Margaret asked quickly, as Claire was coming close to earshot. 

"My mother." 

"Who ripped it up?" 

"She did." 

Alfie plastered on a fake smile and passed the phone to Margaret, waving Claire closer to join him for a picture. 

* * *

"Are we set?" Xander asked, hurrying after Jack at the great expense of his energy. 

"Yeah. The girls are going to some stupid princess dress-up crap for little kids at the little tea place over on the square. She's coming to the bakery first to get some cupcakes, Trey heard her talking to her grandma. Grandma gave her key, and she's taking her time about it. We can get in there before she does, and wait." 

"This is stupid." Ben said, following after them. 

Jack shook his head, "You said that bunch of times, Ben, but you still haven't bailed, so ditch, or get with the program!" 

Crossing the next street, and meeting Trey at the corner of another one of the many small brick building that populated the center of town, they hurried to the back of the shop, and gathered around a delivery door in the deep cover of shadow. 

Ben ducked down, pulling a small tool from his pocket, and going to work on the lock. 

"C'mon, hurry up, Bitchester, They're gonna be here any minute." Trey hissed, "This only works if we get in there before they do." 

"Shut up, I only tried this a couple of times." Ben replied in a whisper. 

Jack ducked next to him, "I though you knew how?" 

Ben made a quick, jerking movement as he turned to answer, but the tumbler turned unexpectedly, and he straightened up, opening the door. The other boys darted inside, and Ben followed, looking around for any sign of onlookers before following them, and shutting the door behind him as quietly as possible. 

Moving quickly through the back of the dark bakery to the front of the shop, Xander took his previously discussed position kneeling on the floor by the low front window as a lookout. Ben, Trey, and Jack opened the back of a refrigerated display case, and removed several large, lavishly decorated items, with some small debate over which ones would make the most mess. 

"She's coming! You guys, hurry up!" Xander ground out. 

Ben took his choice of a rather large cheesecake dripping strawberry sauce, and took a prime spot in front of the door, trying to stay clear of Jack and Trey's aim. 

Through the more obscured glass of the door, he realized he didn't have as good a vantage as Xander. 

"How far away is Millie right now?" Ben asked in the darkness. 

"Millie?" Xander asked, "I thought we were pranking Aubrey?" 

Ben's face fell immediately, "What?" 

"Shh!" Jack warned. 

Trey was busy muttering to himself, "Stuck up bitch won't even say hi, she's got it coming." 

The key sounded in the lock, and Ben's stomach lurched as he realized it was far too late to call off any part of the plan. 

The door opened, and just as fast, Ben dropped the cheesecake stepping into the gap, cringing as at the same time, Aubrey jumped back with a frightened yelp, and cold, creamy baked goods struck him, pelting his back, and the back of his head. 

The next thing Ben knew, he'd slipped on the cheesecake he'd dropped and was on his way to the floor, and Aubrey had taken off at a run. 

One hard landing later, he looked up to find Trey standing over him. 

"You screwed up Halloween, Bitchester." he dropped a crumbling pastry on Ben's head, stepped over him, and walked out the front door. 

* * *

Claire had hoped never to see the inside of this particular office again, and for her side of things, she'd accomplished it. 

"I'm sorry, I can tell you're trying to do the right thing, here, and if they were any further out of town, I might make an arrangement for contact later, but you're not his parent, you're not even officially his step sister yet, and while you are trying to handle this appropriately, I need his dad here." Sheriff Mills insisted. 

Claire nodded, "Can I at least be the one to call him so he doesn't panic?" 

"Be my guest. And then, just to keep things nice and calm, you can wait with your little brother, too." 

"Thank you." Claire said sincerely, pulling out her phone, "I'm sure Ben's probably scared and hiding it." 

"I can't imagine why, unless somebody who's spent the night in jail before was trying to keep him on the straight and narrow." Sheriff Mills offered with a knowing shrug. 

"Dean, hey. I am so sorry, but you gotta come back early. Ben and his buddies took a prank too far, nobody's hurt. I'm waiting with him until you get here... The sheriff's office... They broke into the bakery, ruined a few cakes, and scared some girl they know. I said I'd pay for it, but the sheriff wants a parent to release him to... I was one block over, he only slipped away for a second, I swear. I really didn't think he'd get into something like this... I'm really sorry, Dean." 

After what Sheriff Mills was certain was a scathing response by the look on Claire's face, the call was ended, and with resignation, Claire put away the phone. 

"So, how long until he gets here?" she asked. 

"About half an hour." Claire replied. 

"Okay, go have a seat with him outside. Maybe get him to think about what he did so he doesn't end up in here again." 

"Trust me, I don't want him in here any more than you do." 

* * *

Walking back into the living room, Dean could tell by Sam's expression that he was wearing his emotions on his face, "Well, we have to cut this short. Sorry... We gotta get back to town pronto." 

"Is everything okay? What happened?" Jess asked, as Cas turned to look at him. 

"Ben got picked up by the cops, and they won't let Claire take him home. Everybody's fine, just, kid stuff. Making trouble." 

"So you're saying he takes after you." Sam said, in an attempt to lighten the mood. 

"God, I hope not." Dean replied, settling a hand on Cas' shoulder, "So, maybe rain-check?" 

"Yeah, of course." Jess replied, "We'll set something up." 

Cas craned his neck to look at Dean, "But they're okay, right?" 

* * *

"What the hell were you thinking?" Claire muttered as she sat down on the bench, "They can keep you here, you know, if Dean doesn't get my voicemail." 

"Seriously?" Ben asked, not detecting her lie, "It wasn't supposed to go like that, we were just going to smack a pie in this girl's face and-" 

"How did it get all over you?" 

"I got in the way." 

"Why?" Claire demanded. 

"They said we were gonna prank Millie, she follows me all over the place, I'm sick of it, and turns out they were lying, Trey wanted to prank Aubrey." 

"So those dumbasses were going to get you to break in with them, and smack a pie in the face of the quiet girl you like?... Huh, what great friends you have. Awesome judge of character. It's no wonder you're so popular." Claire said, her voice angry, dripping with sarcasm. 

At the chirp of her phone, she pulled it from her pocket, finding a typoed mess of a message from Cas, assuring her they'd be there soon. 

"You were really gonna pay for the stuff we messed up?" 

"Yeah, I was gonna make you pay me back later, or take over all the chores, or something." Claire muttered, looking around. 

A deputy walked past with a suspicious glance at the two of them. 

They waited in silence for what felt like an eternity until the familiar sounds of Dean's voice carried from the front desk. Both of them, and their fathers, were soon ushered back into Sheriff Mills' office. 

"Okay, gentlemen, it's late, so lets make this quick... Ms. Novak didn't take this lightly, I want to make that clear, she offered to pay for the damages, and have Ben clean up the mess tomorrow himself, but this goes a bit deeper than just a prank with a little vandalism, property damage, and attempted assault... Somebody picked the lock, and so far, everyone's stories line up, except for the one story where that part is missing." 

Dean scoffed, turning to look at Ben as he spoke, "Ben doesn't know how to-..." 

A very familiar flinch in Ben's reddened cheek told the whole story, and Dean sank back in his chair, "Just what I need right now..." 

"He didn't put up much of a fight, handed this straight to the deputy," she said, setting what appeared at first to be a pocket knife down on the desk, "I'm guessing these don't belong to Dark-Wing Duck, so they're probably yours?" 

With a nod, Dean picked up the lock picks Bobby had had engraved with his initials years ago as a tender reminder of their first meeting. 

"You're very lucky, the owner of the business is going easy on the boys. She doesn't like trouble, wants everyone to get along. But if it were me, I'd be dragging my kid in there the minute they open tomorrow morning, if only for ruining seventy-five bucks worth of the best cheesecake in the state." 

"So, no charges are being filed?" Cas asked. 

"If I wanted to, if I didn't care about these kids' futures, Ben would be getting it the worst for getting the door open in the first place. But what I'd rather see is some decent parenting, and a kid learning his lesson and staying out of the system. Make it right with the owner, drive it into your middle schooler's head, and let me skip the paperwork, okay? It's a small town, we can agree to get along. You can sign him out at the desk." Sheriff Mills said, getting up to see them out. She stood at the doorway, and waited until Ben, with Dean right behind him, approached the door, "You might not have a record on paper, Ben, but don't think for one minute that I'm going to forget this." 

Ben gave an embarrassed nod, and stepped through the door. 

After a brief stop at the front desk for minimal paperwork, the party of four proceeded out to the parking lot, where Dean had left the Impala next to the Chevelle. He pointed very directly to the back door, and following his silent order, Ben climbed in. Dean had noticed Cas heading for Claire's car, and was about to wait to see if Cas was going to speak to Claire, or ride home with her, but suddenly Cas was speaking in a low, angry tone, and Dean had to strain his ears to hear. He stepped closer, well aware of how much Cas had drank, and how good he was at hiding it. 

"You said you could take care of him, and here we are, picking him up from the sheriff's station." 

"I'm sorry. I tried to handle it. I did everything you would have done, she basically said so." 

"You let him out of your sight, Claire. He's twelve! He's going to do stupid things, because that's what children do. Anything could have happened, he could have been abducted, killed, who knows? How were you a block away for this?" 

"Dad, I was just-" 

Dean had never seen the look Claire wore before, entirely confused and unguarded. 

"Save it... I'm very disappointed in you." 

"Cas," Dean warned, "This isn't the time." 

"How long did it take before you realized he wasn't there? Did they get him all the way to the station before you knew?" Cas asked tersely. 

Claire shook her head, "No... The deputy called me from the bakery. I followed him over here." 

"Cas, shut your damn mouth and get in the car." Dean demanded. 

Cas met Claire's eyes with a stern gaze before heading back to the passenger side of the Impala. Dean waited, not approaching his own door until Cas had gotten inside, and decided to make it quick, unsure what Cas might say to Ben. 

"You coming home tonight?" Dean asked. 

Still surprised and rather shaken, Claire took a moment to answer, "I don't know." 

Dean nodded, "In case you do, I'll leave the porch light on." 

* * *

"She said they got to the station just fine, I wouldn't worry about it." Kevin answered softly in her ear. 

As the festivities had wound down, they'd headed to Linda's house, and wound up curled in a lopsided ball on the sofa, and sleep was beginning to make it's demands of Margaret, as just lately, it often did. 

A loud knock sounded on the door, and with an annoyed eyeroll, Kevin got up to answer it, finding Henry Danes in the doorway. 

"Mr Danes... What's up? Actually, don't answer that, I'm not supposed to talk to you." 

"Are you drunk?" 

"No, sir," Kevin answered, as bored as he could manage, "Just done with you and your crap since you cornered me at the damn grocery store." 

"Where's my daughter?" 

"I'd say something sarcastic right now, but you'd use it as probable cause, so... No." 

Henry glowered, "Son, you listen-" 

"Son? Is that your blessing, then?" Kevin asked with a chuckle, "Screw that. We decided to raise the baby in sin. For, like, forever. Might give it your last name, though, just to piss you off." 

"You got a death-wish, boy?" 

"I got a castle doctrine." 

"Excuse me?" 

"Castle doctrine. That's a thing. Just in case you get any ideas about shoving your way in." 

"You threatening me, son?" 

"No. Are you threatening me, darling?" 

"The hell did you just call me?" 

"A pet name, pumpkin. You do it to be intimidating and try to put me in my place, I do it to emasculate what little testosterone you have left. So, um... I'm shutting the door." 

"I want to talk to my daughter." Henry demanded, "You're gonna make that happen, if you know what's good for you." 

Kevin chuckled, "She makes her own choices, and I respect them. Good luck living with that for the rest of your life." 

"I know she's here, I saw her walk in. Green dress, leaves in her hair. I can wait." 

Kevin swung the door shut, and bolted it tightly. He returned to the couch to find Margaret far more awake, an unhappy look on her face, "He cornered you at the store?" 

"Sure. He's a real diva when he doesn't get his way." 

"Maybe I should talk to him to shut him up, get him to leave you alone." 

"Yeah, that's gonna work like giving ice cream to a kid that's screaming for ice cream. If you want to talk to him, that's up to you, but go do it when he's not stalking you, okay?" Kevin glanced up the stairs, "Now, we could try to sneak out the back, or we can go get sleepy. What do you want to do?" 

"I don't know if I could sleep knowing he's out there." Margaret muttered. 

"Then let's go upstairs and get you a sweatshirt to go with those leggings, and go have a quickie on the back of his car, see if that doesn't run him off." Kevin suggested, "Come on, just come upstairs with me, if he knocks again, I'll dump some boiling oil off the parapets, okay? He won't bother you." 

* * *

Ivan stopped at the end of the front walk, listening to some minor complaint about the diner, and the idea Julie had had to remedy the issue, but hadn't been allowed to implement. 

Cyndi, her face a sugary mess, her plastic tiara askew, had fallen asleep in her stroller. 

"I mean, it was a great idea, it would have saved a ton of time." 

"Yeah, I hate it when good ideas go to waste... You know Kevin Tran? One time he told me bra sizes should be said with a phonetic alphabet, the way they do letters in the military. I didn't get it until he explained it, but I guess he had a point." 

"Why's that?" 

"Well, he said aside from A, and F, they all end in ee, so, if you said the sizes as Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, it would be harder to mix them up, and they wouldn't have to change the size on the tag or anything." Ivan said with a shrug. 

Julie grinned, "That is actually a great idea. Also makes it sound more badass, like some kind of weapon. Next time I go shopping, I'm going to Victoria's Secret for a pink, sparkly thirty-eight-Charlie." 

Ivan chuckled, catching a glance of a shadow in the upstairs window, "You know your mom is watching us right now?" 

"Good. I hope she gets a good look, because tomorrow, I'm gonna hear all about how much of a screw-up I am, keeping Cyndi out late, waking her up to brush her teeth, all of it. At least I'm not gonna hear about how I was all alone, too." 

Ivan kissed her softly, snaking an arm around the back of her waist before dramatically dipping her backward, holding her there and pulling back a bit, "Better?" 

"Yeah." Julie said with a grin, "Much more effective than flipping her off." 

"You could do that, too." 

"Not if I want to keep living here." 

Ivan shrugged, "You've got options." 

Straightening to stand them both up, Ivan stroked a stray lock from her face. 

"Why would you want a girl with a reputation-" 

"I'm a guy with a reputation." 

"And her kid, fixing to go into the terrible twos-" 

"Not so bad." 

"-living with you?" 

"I'm in love... Pretty sure." 

"What?" Julie asked, her voice a hushed whisper. 

"With you, I mean. I just wanted to make sure that was clear." 

"We barely started going out. There hasn't been enough time to figure that out." Julie attempted to protest. 

Ivan shook his head, "This is different, okay? ...You don't have to say it, just, I wanted you to know. I've dated several other girls, and I never worried about them like I worry about you, I never wanted to just spend time with them, and talk, all right? This is completely different." 

Julie shook her head, "No, you don't get to be perfect like this, I don't want to be the screw-up." 

"What are you talking about?" 

"You. You're great with Cyndi, you don't care how I used to be, or what I did with who, and you got her talking more, and I just... I don't want to be some messed up girl for you to get all heroic over." 

"Um... I went to jail, Julie. I have a drug conviction on my record, and most of the folks around here think I'm some kind of antisocial punk. I can't tell you how many times I've had strangers walk up and ask me if I could get them drugs. I'm not in the same zip code as perfect. But I can try, and I know you try. God, you bust your ass to be a good example to Cyndi, and it shows." In the low light of the street it took him a moment to realize there were tears on her face, and he reached for her, wiping them away, "Hey... You're great, okay? You trust me enough to let me hang out with your kid, so, trust me enough to believe that." 

Julie sniffled softly, wiping at her eyes, "How does Cyndi fit into all of this?" 

"Um... The same way she already does? ...But, like you said, you gotta go wake her up and brush her teeth, so, unless you want me to come in and help, and maybe get into an argument with that bitch you call 'mom,' I think this is where I head out." 

Julie nodded, "Yeah, okay." 

Ivan leaned in and kissed her softly, rubbing her back gently before stepping away and heading for his truck, parked down the block. 

Julie made her way inside, pulling the stroller in through the door, and hoping her eyes weren't red as footsteps came down the stairs. 

"Him, again?" her mother scoffed. 

"No. Him, still." Julie replied quietly. 

"He's creepy. He's probably bad news. He could be a child molester." 

Julie didn't respond, finding it pointless. 

"Are you crying?" she asked, as Julie was unfastening the belt on Cyndi's waist, "Let me guess, he was charming, and got what he wanted, and then dumped you because you're always carrying the brat around." 

"Don't call her that!" Julie growled. 

"I'll say what I want, it's my house." 

"Yeah, and you're gonna be alone in it if you don't stop being a bitch!" Julie snapped, and hurried upstairs with Cyndi on her shoulder. 

* * *


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: So much aftermath, as this is all Nov 1, but Chapter 30 is about two weeks after the end of this.
> 
> Also, tissues. Nothing horrible, just, you'll want tissues, probably. 
> 
> So much love to you all! FW)

* * *

The drive home had been silent, and with a brief, threatening promise of a long discussion in the morning, Dean had sent a very compliant Ben straight to his room. 

Closing the door to his own bedroom, however, the discussion had barely begun. 

"What the fuck, Cas?" Dean's emotions erupted even through his hushed voice, "Going off on Claire like that? You only had a few glasses of wine, how are you this far gone?" 

"Jess and I had some gin while you and Sam were talking in the back yard." 

"Gin?" 

"...And rum... She's a lovely person, you know." 

"You went off on Claire. You saw her face, right? Do you remember what you said to her?" 

"She shouldn't have let Ben out of her sight. They were downtown, strangers everywhere, he could have been hurt." 

"Cas-" 

"After having suffered the way she has, I don't understand why she wouldn't be more protective of him." Cas slurred, sitting down heavily on the bed, and starting to remove his shoes. 

"You did not just go there." Dean said firmly, shaking his head, "Just leave that completely out of this... She dragged his ass home instead of letting the cops pick him up the first time, remember? And he thanked her with a literal slap to the face, and calling her a bitch, and she is still doing everything humanly possible to be a sister to him." 

"Maybe she let him wander off because of that?" Cas mused. 

"You're really not getting it, Cas. He stole my goddamn lock picks, and he figured out how to use them. He planned this. I could have been there, and he still would have managed to slip away with his buddies. As far as I can tell, Claire did everything right. This was all Ben, but you're blaming her for his fuck up. It's not like she knew, or helped, or tried to cover it up. All she was going to do was pay for the stuff and take him home, bring him back in the morning and make him face the consequences of his actions." 

"She was supposed to be responsible for him." Cas said grimly, with a wobble that reaffirmed his lack of better judgement, "She's the adult who failed to keep a leash on the child." 

"He's a kid. He does stupid shit, because that's what kids do. But as well as I know Claire, I have never, ever seen her look that crushed before. You went too far." Dean snapped. 

"I know my daughter. I know she can do better than this." 

"Bullshit." Dean snatched his pillow and the throw blanket spread over the foot of the bed, and turned for the door. 

"Dean, where are you going?" 

"Somewhere else. Don't look for me until you sober up." 

* * *

Despite a little expected stiffness, Kevin woke up fairly comfortable, even with Margaret pulling his hand sleepily to her breast. 

"Hmm.. sore?" he mumbled, and felt her nod. Happy to help, he picked up a gentle rhythm of massage against her swollen, tender flesh. But something felt off as a slight sudden coolness seemed to breathe across his hand. 

Kevin sat up slowly, pressing a kiss to the back of her shoulder as he moved, still groggy, and found a large damp area had formed in the thin tshirt around her nipple. 

"Um... babe? Your fun-bag sprung a leak." 

"My what?" Margaret asked, still fighting consciousness. 

"Your cups runneth over, special delivery from the milkman... And it's kinda yellow, that means colostrum, right?" 

Margaret's eyes popped open, and she held the shirt up a bit from her skin, "Oh, gross. What the hell?" 

"Hang on, let me check something." Kevin said quietly, getting up from the bed, and looking out the window, finding an empty space where his mother normally parked. He scooped up his phone and did a quick search, and helped her up from the bed, "Okay, looks like as long as there's not tons of it, and no other signs of early labor, you're fine." 

"Looks like tons of it to me." 

"Yeah, but it would only take a tiny bit to soak that much of the shirt. It's probably nothing. Well, as long as you're not spotting or cramping, too." Kevin said softly, leading her out into the hallway. 

"Where are we going?" 

"Shower. Warm water and some friendly hands should get this all cleared up." 

"Moo." 

"Cute, but you're not gonna say that next time." 

Margaret shook her head, "I feel gross." 

"I'm trying to fix that." Kevin replied, closing the bathroom door behind them before reaching past her to start the water, and turning around to carefully peel the borrowed shirt from her curved body. 

He soon had them both in the warm, steaming spray, and pulled her close, bringing her hands up to his shoulders before clasping her breasts gently. 

Almost immediately, Margaret was leaning her head against his chest, a soft, relaxed sound escaping her lips, "Anything else you want to do while we're in here?" 

"Yeah, not piss off the almighty cervix keeping the kid in, just in case." 

"Damn." 

"I'll make it up to you later, you know that." Kevin reassured her, "But there's something I wanted to tell you..." 

"I'm not gonna remember it later." 

"Good, because I don't know how you're gonna react." 

This got Margaret's attention, and she raised her head to look him in the eye, "What?" 

"Um... Just, the way people get around here, something Samandriel said... I went and got a couple of rings at the pawn shop. Just, you know, so no rumors, no gossip, make everybody mind their own business." Kevin said softly, "You know, if you want." 

"So... everybody else can't mind their own damn business, and you want to brand me as your property for fake, just so people don't talk about what a ho I am, and how our baby is a bastard? Because normally, you would be all about fighting that kind of sexist crap." 

"I, um... I don't know if you're teasing me, or trying to give me an equality boner... But I bought the rings in case it would make you more comfortable, okay? If that's not what you want-" 

"What? Distract me with something shiny?" 

"You do like shiny stuff." 

"I don't think you really believe in marriage. It's an outdated custom, and I don't think you've ever seen it do anybody any good." 

"What about you?" Kevin asked, "Do you believe in it?" 

"No." 

"I don't know if I believe in it or not." Kevin said softly. 

"You better make up your mind fast, or when we're in our nineties, I'm gonna leave you with the kids and run off with a spaceship full of male strippers." Margaret replied sleepily, gripping his shoulder tightly. 

"God, I hope not. How am I supposed to take care of a bunch of seventy-somethings all by myself?" Kevin muttered, making her chuckle, "How's that feel?" 

"Weird, but good... How'd you figure that out?" 

"It was in the book, something about clogged ducts... But, also, nipple stimulation is supposed to raise the baby's I.Q., so..." Kevin continued to gently stroke her flesh toward the nipple until she pulled him close for a hug, "So, when I take the rings back... What should I get with the store credit? They don't have baby stuff there." 

"See if they have any salon stuff, you're going to need it later." 

"Yeah, I will, actually... whether I'm any good or not, I'm getting licensed. Anything to shut me up... This wasn't how I wanted it to go." 

"You'll be great. I loved my makeup yesterday. Still can't figure out how you managed to pluck my eyebrows without it hurting, it hurts when I do it." 

"Let's be realistic, though, you were already gorgeous to start with." 

* * *

Alfie woke up alone, which never seemed to mean a pleasant morning, and was quite surprised to find Claire stretched out on the couch on his way to the kitchen to make coffee. 

Her boots were still on, and traces of the corpse makeup she'd worn for the festivities the night before were obvious, as were smudged traces of tears. Concerned, he reached for her hand, knowing perfectly well how she'd react to being woken too suddenly. 

"Claire... you want some coffee?" 

Claire's eyes snapped open, immediately assessing her surroundings. She tended to wake on edge, but there appeared to be an extra layer of grumpiness. 

She sat up, rubbing at the back of her neck, coming out of her sleep as quickly as she could manage. She pulled her legs out of the way to let Alfie sit down, and curled forward, reaching for him. 

"So, you didn't get in with me, just needed a spot to crash?... Or is something else going on?" 

Claire shook her head and rubbed her face. 

"Everything go okay after your dad got there?" 

"Yeah, they took Ben home." 

"So, what's wrong?" 

"I don't want to talk about it." Claire mumbled, shifting carefully, and settling against him. 

"You worry me, you know." 

"Not trying to." Claire answered. With a change of mind, she scrambled slightly to her knees, pulling Alfie's bare torso forward, and peeling back part of the large bandage on the back of his shoulders. 

"Ow... Claire... Right now?" 

"I better change this before I head for the shop. You're taking the meds, right?" 

"Yeah, like clockwork. Is it closed up?" 

"Not enough for Dean's standards, but he might let you work the desk." 

"I had enough of being the 'jackass,' I think I'll skip." 

"You don't have to, currently I'm the 'jackass.' Especially after last night." Claire grumbled. 

Alfie looked up at her in concern as she stood, "He's pissed at you?" 

"No, my dad is." 

"Cas?" 

"Yeah." 

* * *

Ben paced for a bit, trying to build up some courage before heading downstairs. It wasn't working. He stared out the window, and strained his ears at the door, trying to place where Cas and Dean might be, perfectly aware that nothing he did was going to put off the talking-to he had coming. 

He didn't have long to wait, as after a set of staggering steps came up the staircase, passed his doorway, and went into the room further down the hall. He considered making a break for the stairs and sneaking out of the house, but the footsteps returned quickly, and the door creaked open. 

"Okay... You ready to tell me how the hell this happened last night?" Dean asked, leaving the door open and taking a seat on the bed. 

"I don't know." 

"You don't know if you're ready to talk, or your don't know how this happened?" 

"Can you just tell me how long I'm grounded for so we can get past this?" Ben muttered. 

"No!" Dean chuckled sarcastically, "Not a chance, there isn't a chance in hell grounding is gonna cover this. I had to drive all the way back from Bridgeway because you screwed up so bad they couldn't let Claire take you home. You stole my lock picks and snuck off when you knew you were supposed to be on your best behavior and making things easy on Claire." 

"And Cas is blaming her for this." Ben said quietly. 

"Yeah, well, maybe he'll think differently today, but who do you think she's blaming?" 

"Herself. But it's my fault." Ben grumbled, "She would have stopped me if she knew anything about it, I didn't even want to do this in the first place." 

"When did you learn to pick locks?" 

"I found a video for it on YouTube, but I couldn't make a bump-key, so I looked up how to do it with your lock picks." 

"Okay, well, score one for self-education, minus several million for the way you used it. You need a better hobby, something that won't get you arrested... Again." 

Ben looked up, "I wasn't arrested, not really." 

"You really wanna split hairs right now?" 

"No, sir." 

"Do you know what would have happened if you tried to pull this crap in our last neighborhood?" 

"Juvie?" Ben asked cautiously. 

"Got that right. Now, what does this have to do with this girl?" 

* * *

At first glance, Claire appeared to be sulking when she signed in, but knowing better, Dean followed her out to the empty garage, and it was evident that she was far too beaten down to be sulking. 

"You're a mess. Maybe you should head home." 

Claire shook her head, "I don't want to be there." 

"You know he wasn't sober, right?" 

Claire gave a weak shrug in response, carrying on as best she could, coveralls, hair, and checking the list to notify for pick-up to clear the way for further repairs. 

"Claire..." Dean said gently in the empty shop, "Hey... He didn't mean it." 

"Bullshit." Claire replied, her voice high and shaky, threatening tears, "He has never said anything like that before, he meant every word, and I... I have attacked him, punched him in the face, and he never said anything like that. He meant it, every part of it." 

"Claire-" 

"I never let him down before. I always got good grades, I stayed out of trouble except for that one time when I did what I had to do, but the one time, the only time I screwed up enough to put Ben in danger, I know he meant it, because I'm disappointed in me, too, okay? So, yeah. I had it coming." Claire argued. 

"You didn't." 

"Yeah, I did. And there is nothing I can do to fix this, he's right." 

"He was drunker than he looked, had me fooled, even, and he was way out of line. I, uh, I actually argued with him about it when we got home." 

"You shouldn't do that." Claire mumbled, disheartened to hear it. 

"I mean it, it was too much. You tried. You did everything any adult should do, everything I would have done." 

"How would you know? You weren't there." Claire grumbled, desperate to finish the conversation. 

"Because Ben told me everything. All of it. Even how he figured out how to use the lock picks, and who likes which girls involved, and what kind of red stuff was on the cheesecake he fell in. Near as I can tell, Jack likes Millie, Millie likes Ben, Ben likes Aubrey, and so does Trey, but Aubrey won't talk to Trey, so he thinks she's stuck up." 

"How does Xander fit into this?" 

"Brain injury... The other three having girls involved puts them all pretty much on the same level." 

Claire chuckled in spite of her mood, "Sounds about right for middle school." 

* * *

Having been confined to the house until further notice, with no electronic entertainment of any sort, Ben sat quietly at the table, eating a bowl of cereal, and could hear Cas coming down the stairs. He didn't speak, still on edge from his long conversation with Dean. 

Cas was still a bit of a mess as he made for the coffee pot, quickly fixing a cup, and seating himself at the table. 

Unsure whether to apologize, explain, mention that Dean had left for work, or ask Cas not to blame Claire, Ben kept quiet. 

Cas ran a hand over his face before going for another sip of coffee, "I suppose your father's already spoken to you this morning?" 

"Yeah." Ben answered softly. 

"You're still here, and no tablet or games. Grounded?" 

"Yeah." 

"How long?" 

"He didn't say." 

Cas nodded, "Was the cheesecake worth it? I seem to recall something about a cheesecake." 

"I fell on it." 

"Oh." 

Silence took over the room, and Ben went through a couple more bites of cereal as Cas' cup of coffee looked to be taking effect. 

"Hey, Cas, can I ask you something?" Ben asked quietly. 

"Of course." 

"Why would a guy want to wear fake boobs?" 

Cas blinked in surprise, then rubbed at his face again, "I don't know what question I was expecting, but that wasn't it." 

"Nevermind, then." Ben said quietly. 

"No, it's a perfectly reasonable thing to want to know, I suppose. There are several reasons, but without asking the fellow in particular, you wouldn't know his specific reason. The most obvious one would be to try to look like a woman, either to be honestly mistaken for one, or as a parody. In Shakespeare's time, all the actors were male, so, it's nothing new, of course." 

"It's just, the other day, Kevin came in here to see Claire, and he borrowed one of her bras and stuck socks in it." 

Cas nodded, "Kevin... Kevin is... very secure in-... who he is. He does things like this regularly, I'm only a little surprised that Claire was involved." 

"So it's not weird for him to do that?" Ben asked, "Because I don't think my dad would do that. Put on a bra and stuff it with socks. I'm not sure about Alfie." 

"It is weird, in that it's out of the ordinary, it's less weird because he does these things occasionally, and it's not something to worry about, because obviously he wasn't causing anyone any harm while doing it. Although I do see how you could be very confused by his actions." Cas said quietly, "You may want to ask him about it, he might explain his reasons, but considering the nature of the subject, you should probably let it wait unless there's another adult in the room." 

Ben nodded, still wrapping his head around it, "So, it's okay, because it's Kevin? It's just how he is?" 

Cas shrugged, "Not exactly. Serial killers kill people because that's just how they are, that doesn't make it right, but if Kevin prefers to wear women's clothing or makeup, that's his business." 

"Okay." 

"If this is bothering you-" Cas started in a sympathetic tone. 

"No, I just couldn't figure out why. Now I get it, he's probably just goofing off, because if he really wanted to look like a girl, he would probably put on a wig." 

Cas gave a shrugging nod, "I suppose he might." 

"So, my dad said all I get to do today is read books and do chores. I already cleaned my room." 

"I suppose you could straighten up the garage, it's a bit of a mess." 

"Are you going to call Claire?" 

Cas looked concerned for a moment, then as memory came back to him he set down his coffee cup and left the table, making his way upstairs. 

* * *

Ivan had spent a good part of the morning trying to stay out of Claire's way, as she was clearly unhappy about something. 

Late in the morning, not long after Alfie had arrived to work at the desk, Ivan was looking for manual when Cas came in. He'd expected tension between Cas and Alfie, which didn't seem to occur. 

"Looking for Dean? He's in his office." Ivan offered. 

"Actually, I need to speak to Claire." 

"Oh. Garage, I think." 

Cas nodded, and started down the dark hallway. He spotted Claire before coming out into the garage, and as she caught sight of him, she immediately turned to the wall and grabbed a bag of tools and gloves, starting out of the bay. He followed after her. 

"Claire-" 

"I don't want to talk right now, I have work to do." 

"Claire, please." 

"Don't follow me. The yard is employees only, and last I checked, you don't work here." 

"I'm going to disregard that, as I'm fairly certain the owner isn't about to throw me out." 

"The manager would, if the owner wasn't here." 

"Claire!" Cas spoke harsher than he'd meant to, and immediately regretted it. 

"Yeah?" Claire asked, equally brash, stopping to turn around, "What? What is it?" 

Cas found himself at a loss for words as he attempted to address the contained fury that was his daughter, seeing far too much of himself in her eyes. But there was something else, there, as well, something she didn't get from him, or from her mother. 

"I know, okay? I screwed up, it's my fault, but nothing you say is gonna make feel any worse than I already do. Now get the hell out of the junkyard." 

Cas sputtered, attempting to piece together a few words to calm her down, but as she stormed off in the wake of his silence, he put it together. Self blame, which she got from Dean, and surliness, which he assumed had been picked up from both Dean and Bobby. 

He wasn't entirely surprised to see Dean standing a few yards behind him when he turned around to start for the road, and came within earshot of a quiet statement, "She gets that from you." 

Dean shrugged, "Yeah, I guess so." 

"Dean, I'm sorry." 

"She's the one you should be saying that to." 

"Yes, but, you were right, she could have kept a closer eye on Ben, but I shouldn't have gone off on her to that degree." 

Dean nodded, "You weren't doing your liver any favors, either." 

Cas took a fleeting glance in the direction Claire had gone, and turned back to Dean, shaking his head, "I came out here to try to apologize, I don't know what happened." 

"Go home. She's not gonna talk until she's ready." 

"She'll talk to you." 

"I'm not doing this for you, I already had to handle Ben this morning." Dean groused. 

"Did he ask you about the cross-dressing thing?" 

"The what?" 

"Exactly." Cas said wearily. 

Dean looked around helplessly, "How the hell do we keep managing this kind of crap?" 

"I don't know. But the aftermath does seem a little easier as a team." Cas said softly, "I need an aspirin.. I'll see you at home later." 

"Yeah, I'll try to get her over there, too, give you another shot at this." 

* * *


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Okay, got a little stuck in a conversation in a chapter that's coming up, took a break, posted some other stuff, but then the dam burst, and here we go.
> 
> Mid November, Dean is scruffy, Ben is trying to make things up to Aubrey's grandma, and the [lol] Wi-No house is a nuclear mess. Also, Alfie is too awkward for special type of phone calls. ;) 
> 
> Enjoy, more coming soon! Thanks for reading! FW)

* * *

Dean scratched at his beard a bit as he looked for the part he needed, certain it was in storage somewhere. It had been almost two weeks, and aside from work, Claire had only stopped by long enough to get a few things and leave again. The rift only seemed to be getting wider, and she still hadn't given Cas a chance to apologize. 

Cas had made a sincere attempt in family therapy, but he had still been building up to it when she'd walked out, and she didn't make an appearance at the following two appointments. Cas had decided to stop drinking for a while, and had been throwing himself into his work to stay busy. 

It pained Dean to see his loved ones at odds, and he knew Ben had been blaming himself for the hurt feelings and Claire's absence. 

"Hey, when's Ivan getting back from Austin?" Randy asked. 

"Three more days, I think. Maybe sooner, depends, I guess." Dean answered. 

Randy adjusted his glasses and went for the front desk, having heard the door shut. He was back a moment later, chuckling, "Lucas caved!" 

"What?" Dean asked absently. 

"Yeah, shaved off the patchy scruff. Not that you can tell." 

"Don't pick on him, he tried." 

Randy scoffed, resuming his spot under the lift in the fourth bay, "How about you, Claire? How's no-shave-November going? Haven't seen you in shorts lately." 

"Haven't seen me in shorts, ever, you mean?" she said, removing a cracked wiper fluid tank, "And anyway, it's for guys." 

"Yeah, well, we're not sexist, you can totally get in on this with us." Randy called back. 

"I'm not having this discussion." Claire replied firmly. 

"Yes, ma'am." Randy answered. 

Lucas pulled a car into the second bay, shutting it off and popping the hood to get started as Dean finally found the part he needed, and walked past Claire, heading to the van parked over the pit. 

"Alfie's getting back next week, right?" 

"Flies in on Tuesday, I need to cut out early to go pick him up." 

"Take it." Dean replied, "So, Thanksgiving..." 

"I'll think about it." 

"Sam and Jess-" 

"I know. I said I'll think about it." Claire snapped. 

"That's all I'm asking." 

* * *

Done for the day, and ready to sit down for a beer with a few new friends, Ivan had intended to send a quick text to Julie to check on her, but as he was typing it, his phone started to ring. He stopped, putting his back to a wall, picking up, and motioning at his friends to go ahead, as he'd catch up. 

"Hey. I was just about to text you." Ivan said sweetly, "Thinking about me, huh?" 

"Yeah, I was." Julie answered, her voice stressed, "I had a really rough day." 

"Diner stuff? Or did Cyndi's runny nose come back?" 

"I, um... I got in a fight with my mom this morning... She said Cyndi can stay, but she's kicking me out." 

"Bullshit. You have Cyndi with you, right?" 

"Yeah, I took her to work with me. But, I wanted to ask you if, um... if you still..." 

"Yes. Any time, I thought I was clear about that... Are you okay?" 

Julie gave a weak, nervous laugh, "Not really. But I think my aunt will let me crash until you get back." 

"No, look, there's a magnetic key holder under the front steps, straight down from the doorknob, with a key and fifty bucks, okay? You just worry about you and Cyndi right now. We can figure out the rest later... I was about to go have dinner, but if you need to talk...?" 

"No, I'll be okay, just, I needed to find out if it was okay." Julie said softly. He could hear a tearful relief in her voice as she spoke, "Look, I'm sorry, I should've said it when you said it, but I feel the same way, it's just... it's scary for me, you know?" 

"Yeah, that's okay. But, again, you just do whatever you need to do, and I'll be headed back late tomorrow. Call if you need to talk, I'll be up late, anyway." 

* * *

Somewhere in the dark, warm haze that kept Claire comfortably ensconced away from consciousness, she could make out the feeling of another person in the bed. It took several moments for her to realize that due to size, scent, and a travel itinerary, it couldn't possibly be Alfie. 

"Margaret?" Claire croaked, rolling out from under the very lightweight arm, "Hey, Margaret? You're sleep-walking again." 

The door creaked open as she spoke, and a bedraggled Kevin wobbled in, "Sorry." 

"Yeah, don't worry about it." Claire mumbled as Kevin scooped up Margaret, and started to leave the room, "At least she didn't try to snuggle me this time." 

"I still can't believe I missed that." Kevin mumbled, pausing in the doorway, "Of course, if you change your mind and want to snuggle, you know where we're at." 

"Yeah, you'd love that. Wake up freaking out and punch you both in the face." Claire replied. 

Kevin chuckled, "Not if we wore you out first." 

"You're seriously hitting on me right now?" 

"No. Margaret is, through a psychic link, because I'm not into you. Makes it less creepy because I don't know if she's serious." 

"Go back to bed before you drop her, dumbass." Claire said quietly. 

"'Kay..." Kevin muttered, wandering off. 

Claire did her best to make herself comfortable, adjusting Alfie's pillows and stretching out. She missed him, and Chicago felt further away than ever.

Alfie was the only person who hadn't said she needed to give her father another chance. He would listen, and he'd given her the chance to unload, but the whole she'd crawled into seemed to be big enough for both of them, and he was content to go along with her lead. 

It had taken a screaming match and a threat to move away to get Dean to drop the subject at work, insisting she needed time, and couldn't get it with the constant reminders. 

Despite her perceivable anger, and unwillingness to discuss it, however, there hadn't been a day she hadn't cried over it. 

A glance at the clock on her phone showed the early hour, and despite Dean's mention that Cas had stopped drinking for a while, she wondered if, across town, and down the little quiet gravel road, he was sitting up, missing her, and watching the video. 

Of course, had she called him, instead of setting down the phone, he would have picked up immediately from his seat on the couch in the dark living room, and as he hurriedly pressed the mute button, she would've heard it in the background. 

* * *

The extra work of walking to the bakery after school to clean or reorganize or tackle whatever small tasks Aubrey's grandmother could come up with wasn't anything Ben would complain about. The older woman had been very understanding, especially after asking if they'd considered opening the register and finding out it hadn't even been discussed. 

He had been jealous, at first, that Jack and Trey hadn't attempted to apologize, and he assumed Aubrey's grandmother thought he'd been the ringleader. Xander was barely making it through the school day, now, so he was in no shape to put in the extra work, but to his mind, Jack and Trey had no excuse for failing to share the burden. 

The first day, when Cas had pulled up to the bakery, his car visible through the window, Ben had been sent on his way with a cookie, and it had set the tone for future workdays. Most days Aubrey would stop in, ducking her face out of sight, and scurrying off to the back room to decorate cupcakes, but Ben was expected to stay in the front of the shop, polishing the glass cases, cleaning the windows and the floor. 

It had taken him days to sort out the timing, but he soon figured out that if he waited an extra ten minutes, he could match Aubrey's walk from the school. 

The first time, he'd gone about two blocks, following after her before he felt like a stalker, and hurried a little to catch up. 

"Hey, Aubrey... Is it cool if I walk with you? Going to the bakery, right?" 

Aubrey shrugged in response, and didn't look up, her short, straight hair hanging like curtains around her face. 

"Just, if we're going to the same place, it makes sense, I guess." Ben stumbled over his words in an attempt to make conversation. 

"Listen, I'm really sorry we scared you on Halloween, Jack said we were playing a prank on Millie, I didn't know-" 

"And that makes it better? You shouldn't treat anybody like that." Aubrey firmly, and suddenly, making Ben forget what he was going to say. 

"Sorry." Ben said, taken aback, "That's different, though, I mean, she's kinda one of the guys, it's not like we were trying to be mean." 

Ben kicked himself the moment the words left his mouth, and Aubrey started to walk faster. 

"Okay, yeah, it was mean... I don't know why we did that. But it wasn't supposed to be you. Well, I guess it was for Trey, he set it up." 

"You let Trey tell you what to do?" 

Ben tried hard not to smile as the thought crossed his mind that it was the most he'd ever heard her speak, "Not anymore." 

Aubrey didn't respond, and he had to hurry to match her pace. 

"I really am sorry. I just wanted to make sure you knew." 

Aubrey didn't seem to hear him. 

"Just, what I did, okay, I'm a jerk, and I don't want to be. I mean, are we cool? Can we be friends?" 

Aubrey slowed to a stop, still avoiding his eyes, staring at the sidewalk, "Why?" 

"Um... I think you're cool?" 

"No, I mean, why should I be friends with you? You almost hit me in the face with a cheesecake, I heard you tell my grandma that... And now you're following me." her voice was quiet, "Look, if you're trying to be nice to me to get out of trouble, I'll tell her that, but really, I just want to be left alone." 

"Okay." Ben said carefully, quickly resigning himself to the fact that her judgement of what she knew of him did seem sound, "Yeah, I can do that, but, just, it's not fake. I'm trying to be nice just to be nice." 

Ben hung back a bit as Aubrey hurried along, further away from him. 

* * *

At the usual time, Cas parked outside the bakery, and picked up his phone to check his messages as he waited. 

Shortly, the passenger door swung open, and Ben climbed in carrying his backpack and the strong scent of glass cleaner. 

"No cookie today?" Cas asked, mildly surprised. 

"Aubrey hates me." Ben said, shutting the door harder than he needed to, "I mean, when I figured out it was her, I got in the way, that's why I got all covered in the crap they were throwing, so she didn't get hit with it, but I tried to say I was sorry, and she really just hates my guts." 

"Were you friends before this?" 

Ben shrugged, "No. She doesn't talk to anybody. I finally got her to talk to me, and she said she just wants me to leave her alone." 

"A spur of the moment decision not to assault someone with baked goods doesn't change the fact that you had followed the plan to do so up until that point. There are still consequences for the steps you took to get there." 

"What do I do?" 

"Leave her alone, like she asked." Cas replied, backing out of the space. 

"But-" 

"You like her?" 

Ben rolled his eyes and looked out the window. 

"So this is more than just trying to make things right, you have a crush on this girl... You still need to leave her alone." 

"Everybody says when you like somebody you should tell them, though." 

"It's middle school, Ben, crushes will come and go, but if you harass her, not only will you ruin your chances with her, you'll be setting up a behavior pattern for yourself that will take years to correct, possibly ruining things with people further down the line as well." 

"So just forget it, then? And don't tell her? Or tell her, and then leave her alone?" 

"What did you say?" 

"I said I was sorry, and that she's cool, and I asked her if we could be friends even though I was a jerk, because I'm trying not to be. That's direct, right? And you said to be direct." 

Cas shrugged, "I did say that...but I also said to be kind, and what she saw of your intentions wasn't kindness. She's made her wishes clear, and you need to respect them. Perhaps your father would be of more help." 

Ben didn't reply, but once they'd pulled onto the gravel road, asked Cas to let him out at the shop, and having spotted Claire's car, hurried inside. 

Margaret was typing on the computer and looked up when Ben came in. 

"Is Claire busy?" 

"We're all busy, we're short two mechanics. What's up?" 

"Um, I need to talk to her... Is she still mad at me?" 

"Mad at you? I don't think so. She should be in the bays, though, knock yourself out." Margaret gestured to the back of the shop, and Ben quickly passed by his father's office, unnoticed. 

Ben found Claire below a small Ford Escort, fairly well coated in grime, and sat down next to her, cross-legged, "Hey, I need some help, are you still mad?" 

"He likes specialty coffee and unless he replaced it in the last two weeks, he needs a new watch. I'm not getting him either, so now you just need to coordinate with Dean." Claire replied. 

"What?" 

"Christmas shopping, right?" 

"No." 

"Okay, what, then?" 

"No, tell me if you're still mad first." 

"I'm not mad. I'm just not ready to get into this crap with him yet." Claire answered, "Gimme the wrench." 

Ben passed her the wrench sitting out next to her knee, "Are you mad at me for messing everything up in the first place?" 

"That's completely separate, Ben. He had that part right, though, I should have watched you better." 

"Aubrey wants me to leave her alone." 

"Okay." 

"And Cas said I should just go with that." 

"Yep." 

"But, I don't know, how do I convince her I'm not an asshole?" 

"By not being an asshole to start with." 

"Kind of late for that." 

Claire rolled out from under the car and began digging in the nearby toolbox, "You set yourself up by letting the other little assholes drag you in on an asshole plan to be assholes to somebody. But what are you going to look like if you follow her around, or shout from the rooftops that you're not an asshole?" 

"I'd look like an even bigger asshole." 

"Exactly." Claire replied, finding the socket she needed, and sliding back underneath, her voice echoing slightly from below the car, "You said you were sorry, right?" 

"Yeah." 

"And she wants space?" 

"Yeah?" Ben looked up as Lucas came closer, shaking his head. 

"So give her space. Mind your own business. Try to talk to other girls until your next crush shows up, and start fresh." 

"Don't listen to her, Ben. You gotta tap that. Get in there fast, tell she's hot." Lucas said quickly. 

Ben had a confused look on his face when Claire came out from under the car again, tossing the socket and ratchet back into the box. 

"See, girls like the attention they get from turning a guy down, so, you gotta give them the extra attention to start with, all at once, but then you turn around, and ignore them for a couple days, then they'll be all over you." Lucas continued as Claire started shaking her head. 

"What?" Ben asked. 

"Ignore all of that. Lucas has never had a girlfriend. He's in court-ordered therapy and has to hang around here until he figures out how to be a real man." 

"Yeah, like Claire." Lucas said with a scoff. 

"He also has trouble identifying genders. Pretty sure it's a mental disorder. Because otherwise, he would just be doing this to be an ass." 

"Could go either way." Lucas shrugged. 

"Something, something, yo mama." Claire muttered, before turning back to Ben, as Lucas wandered off with a laugh, "Listen, it actually takes a lot of guts for a girl to tell a guy to back off. If she does that, she's opening herself up for getting called a prude or a bitch, or mean, or unfriendly, I know, because I got a ton of those. Also, there are plenty of jerks who'd get violent just for her saying 'Hey, I'm not into you.' Don't be that jerk, just back off. If, in a couple days, or better yet, a week, you say hi, keep it down to one or two words, and don't push, she'll get the idea you're not trying to get in her space. She's a person, treat her like one." 

"What?" Lucas called from the next bay, "Girls aren't people! They're objects!" 

"Thank you! Shut your face!" Claire called in reply, "So, you're getting this, right?" 

"So, I might be scaring the crap out of her and not know it?" 

"Yeah." 

"So I can't do anything except back off." 

"Exactly." 

Ben nodded, "Sounds like being a girl is hard." 

"Sometimes, yeah." 

"That sucks." 

Heavy boots sounded in the hallway as Dean came into the garage, unaware of Ben's presence, causing Lucas to look up, "Hey, Dean?" 

"Yeah?" 

"You got any sweet tips for working on the ladies?" 

Dean scoffed, "Don't be you." 

"I'm serious." Lucas argued, pulling an air filter out, not looking at the car, "Obviously I don't know shit. So, what do you got?" 

Ben's ears perked up, but he didn't move. 

"There's a lot of women in the world, and most of them won't want anything to do with you. Find one that does, and treat 'em like a princess." 

"So, let them walk all over you." 

"The good ones won't." Dean replied. 

Lucas chuckled, "I wasn't looking for relationship advice, just something for a pick-up." 

"Yeah, I'm not helping you with that." Dean answered, coming around the end of the car, "Claire, you see any wear on the- Ben... What's going on?" 

"Lady troubles." Lucas called. 

"I asked Cas what to do, but he doesn't date girls, so I thought Claire would know." 

Claire scoffed, "I don't date girls, either." 

Dean offered Ben a hand, and pulled him up from the floor, and gestured to his office. 

* * *

"You're not sleeping?" Claire's voice came through the phone. 

"Nope." Alfie replied softly, "Contracted your insomnia." 

"That's not a thing." 

"Sure it is, I can't sleep because you're not here not-sleeping next to me." Alfie said with a smirk. 

"So this picture you sent me, the drawing..." 

"You like it?" he asked. 

"I wasn't really sure what it was, just looked kind of abstract, so I asked Kevin and Margaret, and- why are you laughing?" 

"That wasn't... um... nevermind." 

"What?" 

"It's, uh... Not something I was going to share around, that's all." 

Claire was quiet for a moment, "Really?... Because Margaret didn't get it, and it took Kevin a minute, but then he said it was really hot, and wouldn't tell us why... Okay, I just pulled it up on my laptop, I still don't get it, even on a bigger screen." 

"You don't?" 

"No." 

"Okay, the curve in the middle is a cheekbone, you're kind of looking at the bottom of it, it blocks off a little of the eye-" 

"It's a face?" 

"It's your face." 

"I know what my face looks like, so-" 

"Not all the the time." Alfie cut in, "And anyway, I wasn't drawing your face, just the expression. And I really don't think you would have seen this from the angle I usually see it at." 

"Then how come Kevin gets it, if even I don't get it?" 

Alfie went silent, biting his lip, and trying not to turn bright red, despite being alone in the hotel room. 

"Okay, hang on, that's... Oh my god, and I showed this to Kevin." 

"It's just a face." 

"But he's seen you make that same expression, so, no big deal." 

"Hey," Alfie said, pretending to be offended, "He wouldn't remember that, anyway." 

"He's right, though, that is really hot." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah, never felt like this from looking at a picture of myself before." 

"When I get home, I'm gonna put up mirrors all over the room." 

"Why?" 

"So any time you're in there, you can be surrounded by beauty." 

"You almost said that with a straight face." 

"Yeah, I tried." 

"Try again." Claire said with a chuckle, setting down the laptop, and getting onto the bed, still holding the phone to her ear. 

"You should see how hot your ass is." 

"Better..." 

"I can't, I'm gonna mess up and you're going to start laughing." 

"I miss you... Missed you all day, but I have to admit, being in your bed helps." 

"I know what you're doing, and it's not fair." Alfie said, trying to keep his voice even. 

"I like that sound you make when you can't figure out what to say." 

"Can you blame me, though? It's hard when I'm not there, I don't want to set you off." 

Claire lay back in the pillows and stretched, "So how many galleries did you see today?" 

"Seven? It's all a blur." 

"Is Naomi being nice to you?" 

"Well, mostly. Some of it, I have coming. I argued about something, made her look bitchy and stupid in front of somebody. Thankfully, since we don't have the same last name, nobody has to know we're related." 

"Speaking of last names, I'm thinking even if my dad changes his, I'm going to leave mine as it is." 

"Yeah?" Alfie asked, "Are you two talking again?" 

"No... Some stuff got weird around here lately, some family history stuff." 

She could practically hear him nod, "Yeah, takes less time to write, too. Fewer letters." 

"I don't think I'm going to make it all the way home from the airport when you get home." 

"Parking lot?" 

"Maybe." 

"So, which car? Because if Bobby were haunting your car-" 

"Okay, nevermind." Claire said quickly, "I gotta hang up." 

Alfie chuckled, "I bet you do... I'll be here, drawing it." 

"More detail?" 

"... How much detail?" 

"Enough that I won't accidentally show anybody, jeez." 

"Yeah, I can do that." 

"And maybe add yourself to the picture?" 

"Is that a challenge?" Alfie asked with a chuckle. 

* * *


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Yes, it freaking happened yet again. Don't worry, Cas addresses that frequency with most dadly concern in the next chapter...
> 
> Just had some plot-blocks stack exactly perfect, like very literally, 'I laughed, I cried, I threw up in my mouth a little,' if I can just craft it to how it's supposed to go, you'll enjoy it thoroughly. Part of it shocked me, but I'm going for it.
> 
> Also, I put up a couple chapters of 'porn, cuz I could,' as a side project, but it seemed to leak into the chapter after this one. You'll see that later. These guys are turning me into a pervert.
> 
> Love you all! So glad to share this story with you! FW)

* * *

"I can't keep doing this..." Cas whispered in the darkness. 

"It's gonna be okay." Dean replied, holding him a little tighter. 

"I don't know how to get through to her without pushing my luck." 

"She's thinking about Thanksgiving, though. That's progress." 

Cas rolled over to face him, "You said she looks terrible." 

"I said she looked like she's not sleeping." Dean corrected him, "Which could just be stress from school." 

"I want her home so I can take care of her, and the only time she's said anything to me, she told me to shut it. I'm lost..." 

"Empty nest?" 

"Empty nest isn't the same thing, although it could be a contributing factor." Cas replied, a mournful tone to his words. 

Dean shifted closer, slipping a hand up the back of Cas' soft tshirt to stroke his back, "So, time, right?" 

"How much time is too much? At what point does she drop everything, including college, and start traipsing around the world with the world with that... beautiful jackass with the trust fund?" 

"What?" 

"I have eyes, Dean." 

"...She's not gonna drop college." 

Cas scoffed. 

"She won't... She's talked about having her own shop, it's a solid thing in her head. She'd have one right now if she wanted, but she's a stickler for doing things right, and she doesn't get that from me, she gets that from you. She'd claw her way through a mile of broken glass to get that degree she's after, and you still got some time left before she graduates." 

"And no guarantee she'll want me there." 

"Grand scheme of things, I'm sure this is just gonna bring you two closer. Just wait till the dam breaks, and she'll be back." 

"I never should have asked her to wait another year... If I had been supportive, she'd still be home." 

"Right. If you had helped her plan to move out over Christmas break, you wouldn't have said the shit that started this. Yeah." Dean replied sarcastically. 

"And we're still getting nowhere with the wedding planning... Not even sure she'd go." 

"That's a load of crap." Dean said firmly, "Give me a date, I'll tell her tomorrow." 

Cas shook his head. 

"I'm serious. Just pick any day, and I'll remind her this shit has to stop. You two need to sit down and sort all this crap out, and be done with it before we get too close to the wedding. She's a sweet kid, she's not gonna screw that up for us." 

Cas shook his head again, "I have to fix this first." 

"No. Tell me a day. Just give me a day, and I'll handle it." 

"It doesn't work like that. I messed this up, she's my daught-" 

"She's ours, now. She's an adult, I'm adopting her, she's ours, by her own choice." 

"Dean-" 

"No, don't argue with me. And since she's mine, too, I'm stepping in, here. Just give me a day." 

"June fifteenth." 

Dean went quiet, staring at the outline of the side of Cas' face in the darkness for a few seconds, "You didn't look at the calendar." 

"I don't need to. It was at the top of my list." 

"I bet that's not a metaphorical list, either." 

"It's on my phone." 

"You're so damn organized. I love that." Dean said softly, "Okay, June fifteenth. Now you two have a deadline to patch shit up." 

"If she hasn't fled the country." 

"She's not going anywhere." 

"How do you know?" Cas asked in a hopeful whisper. 

"Because all this pain and shit you're both going through right now wouldn't hurt so bad if there wasn't love, too. A lot of it." 

* * *

Claire had gotten lost in her notes again, and missed what she had been certain was a key point of instruction in her first class, setting a terrible mood for the rest of the day. 

She'd barely signed in when Dean called her outside, taking her out of earshot of the open bays, further into the yard, close to Bobby's house, "Okay, so, your dad and I set a date." 

"That's nice." Claire answered flatly. 

"June fifteenth." 

"Okay. I'll be there. Is that it?" 

Dean gave her a critical look, "I've had it with both of you, you're not answering your phone, and the one time he called from mine, you hung up... Yes, he fucked up, and he gets that, but he's trying to make it right, and you're being a dick." 

"I'm being a dick?" 

"Yes." Dean answered, "You are." 

"Maybe I'm not ready to deal with his crap right now." 

"Maybe you're not trying to be. You walked out in therapy, Claire... Therapy. You know, that place we go to handle this kind of crap? That's the most prime example of refusing to try that I have ever seen." 

Claire gave him a weary, but defiant look, "I will get there when I get there. Maybe tomorrow, maybe never, but-" 

"You're both a mess over this, and the pain isn't gonna go away. The longer you take to talk it out, the harder it's gonna get." 

"It's my life." Claire growled, starting back toward the shop. 

"That life is gonna end one day, sweetheart. His, too... And the chances of you both going at the same time are pretty damn slim. So, if each day is a gift, is this really how you want to spend it? Angry, and hurting, and hurting the people you love? Until one day, all one of you has got left is regret?" 

"You regret that stuff? Cutting ties with your dad?" she asked, turning around again. 

"I regret that stuff with Bobby." 

Claire felt her heart wrench at his reply, "Bobby?" 

"Yeah... We were patching things up and I was gonna bring Ben out to see him that Christmas. We had a falling out, didn't talk for a few months. Now you've had your time to cool off and then some, but let him apologize! Just go talk to him and let him talk. Then yell, scream, unload, call him an asshole, whatever it takes, but this silence crap has to stop." 

"Fine." she mumbled, "But just so you know, I'm still thinking about moving out." 

"That's fine. He's gonna be home in an hour. Don't put this off one more day. Everything doesn't have to be perfect, just get a start on it." 

Claire slunk back to the shop, her mind wandering over what she planned to say to her father, and trying to remember everything he'd said to her on Halloween. 

Much to her annoyance, her thoughts kept returning to Dean's point about death being inevitable for both of them, her stubbornness bringing a twinge of anger each time the thought reared it's ugly head. 

She'd been so wrapped up in her own mind, and avoiding checking the time that she hadn't been able to pay attention as Lucas came past the car she was working on, carrying something large, knocking the prop that due to her own distracted misplacement, held the hood precariously. 

Claire saw the hood start to fall, and stepped back, trying to pull her hand away in time, but was too late. 

The hood caught her right hand as it clicked into the latch, not fully closed, and she felt a sharpness and a snap in the side of her palm, below her smallest finger, and the agony quickly spread as she tried to pull her hand free. She didn't remember much after that. 

* * *

"Oh, fuck!" Randy exclaimed as Claire let out a frantic yell, and ran to her side, trying to open the hood again to free her hand. 

Dean pulled him back by the shoulders and steered him around Claire as she pried at the edge of the hood, throwing her weight into pulling her hand out in a panic. 

"Stop, Claire, stop it! You're gonna rip your skin!" Dean said, trying to push her closer to the car to get her to stop pulling, "Randy, get the latch!" 

Randy ducked inside the driver door, searching for the lever to pull as Claire, unthinking, resisted Dean's attempts to stop her from pulling away from the car. 

Dean stuck his free hand under the center of the hood again as it came up a little further, scrambling to open it, as Claire pulled at an angle, trying to get away from the car, and from him. 

Unable to reach his goal, and desperately concerned about the damage Claire would cause herself, he grabbed her panicked, struggling form, and pressed her to the car, wrapping around her to keep her still, planted an elbow on the hood, grabbed the edge by her trapped wrist, and warped the metal upward as hard as he could. Her left arm came free of his grasp of her as she struggled against him, her fist catching his jaw, her words loud and yet still unrecognizable. 

Dean blocked out her protests, he had to, knowing quite well where in her mind they were coming from, but empathy would have slowed him down. He had replied automatically, attempting to reassure her that everything was fine, no one was hurting her, and he would have her free in a moment, or he assumed he had. 

Her blood ran down the front of the chrome, even as she'd crumpled into a ball on the floor, silent sobs starting to shake her. Dean crouched next to her, reaching for her hand, trying to get an idea how badly she was injured, in spite of the deepening pain in his jaw. 

"Don't you fucking touch me!" Claire sobbed, curling her hand to her chest, and giving a clumsy kick. 

"Claire, breathe. It's me, okay? It's me. I'm sorry I grabbed you, but you were gonna rip half your hand off. Let me see it." 

"Fuck off!" 

"Claire-" 

"No!" 

She was a sobbing, bloodied mess, and while his first instinct was to scoop her up off the ground, toss her into a car, and head for the hospital in town, she wouldn't let him get close. 

"Okay... Okay, if I call an ambulance, you gonna punch them, too?" 

"...just go away..." 

Sparing a glance around, Randy was staying well back but waiting for orders, and Lucas was averting his eyes. Margaret had come to the opening of the hallway, and gave him a tearful shrug. 

"I'm calling your dad." Dean said softly, and for half a second, through her paralyzing fear and trauma, to say nothing of the massive physical pain that was setting in, she met his eyes. 

He sat down, still within arms reach of her, watching the amount of blood coming from the wound in her hand as he pulled his phone out, dialing Cas. 

The connection was staticky and unclear with a hint of an echo and an engine, as Cas was a stickler for speakerphone while driving. 

"Hey, are you almost home?" Dean asked sharply, cutting of Cas' usual greeting. 

"Nearly, I can see the shop from here." 

"Pull in by the bays, Claire needs you." 

The line was silent for a moment, and Dean looked up to find Claire, still curled on one side, her head under the bumper of the car, uncomfortably flexing the fingers of her left hand, the wrist was starting to swell. 

"Right now?" 

"Yeah, right away." Dean replied, trying to keep him calm. 

"Okay, making the turn." Cas replied. 

Dean could hear Ben in the background asking what was going on, and within seconds the white Ford Edge was in clear view, and coming to a stop as Dean ending the call and turned to Claire. 

"Okay, you gonna let me get you up off the floor?" 

With no attempt at a response from her, he stood up, waving Cas closer as Randy got out of the way. 

Cas' face was instantly furrowed as he came closer, shooting a confused look at Dean, "What happened?" 

"Caught her hand in the hood, had to pin her to keep her from ripping it out before we could get her lose... Get her in the car, I'll drive." Dean said quietly. He could feel the swelling where she'd hit him, and was certain it was starting to show. 

He waited patiently as Cas carefully gathered her up, and caught a look at her face. She seemed to be in shock, but still conscious. He followed after them, and found the engine was still running as he opened the back door to let Cas climb in awkwardly, Claire still in his arms, and closed it. He turned around to find Ben, who'd come around from the passenger side. 

"Okay, head home, handle any homework you've got, we might be late getting home, okay? I'll call the house line and check on you once everything settles down." 

Ben nodded, adjusting his backpack, and looking toward the shop, "Tell them to close up?" 

"No, they know how, they'll manage. Just get home." Dean replied, getting into the driver's seat. 

* * *

"So it was self-defense?" the doctor asked. 

"I'm sure she felt like it was." 

"Mr Winchester, this whole thing sounds suspicious." 

"I know, I know. Trust me, there's no part of this that sounds normal." 

She looked him up and down, "A gay mechanic gets a fractured jaw from his lover's cheerleader-looking teenage daughter because she fixes cars too, and got her hand smashed, panicked, and attacked him like a trapped animal? No... We get that every day." 

"That's nothing. You should see us on family game night. Somebody so much as mentions Monopoly," he gestured widely with his hands, and make an explosive sound. 

"This isn't funny, Mr Winchester." 

"I'm happy to turn over all the security video to the Sheriff." 

"Just tell me the truth, did you hurt that girl?" 

"No." 

"What about away from work?" 

"No." 

"Then why would she hit you?" 

"That's her business to tell, okay? You need to ask her about that. Or check her file, it's gotta be in there, big red flag, affecting every way you treat her." Dean replied, irritated, "And when you do ask her, be nice. I got enough knowledge of healthcare to know who to report you to if you make my little pumpkin uncomfortable." 

Dean could tell his choice of words concerning Claire struck a nerve with the woman, as he'd intended, and she left the room. 

* * *

Claire had taken quite a while to snap out of her haze, but she was mostly aware by the time she'd been called in for triage. 

Cas had had mixed feelings when he'd had to wait in the hall as the x-rays of her hand were taken, he hated to see her anxious, but hearing her swear at the nurse to try to keep him in the room certainly warmed his heart, knowing she wanted him close by. 

The room had stayed quiet, neither willing to speak until the door swung open, and a doctor came in, going straight to the computer, "Okay, Ms Novak, you said you were fixing a car when this happened, is that right?" 

"Yeah." 

"Okay... Well, you broke a bone, metacarpal, right here," he said, pointing to the outside edge of his own hand, "And you mangled the skin and muscle a bit, too, so the stitches, that might not work so well with a cast. You may need a pin, or we might do dissolvable stitches, I'm not really sure yet. Now, on the other hand, and I do mean that literally, just a sprain... I'm sure you can record your classes instead of taking notes, use voice-to-text to type, keep working on that education, and if you don't try to do too much too fast, long term, normal use, writing with a pen and paper, everything should turn out okay." 

Turning away from the screen, the doctor seemed startled to find Claire's expression hard. 

"What about turning a wrench?" 

"Sorry?" 

"I'm a mechanic, I need my hands." 

The doctor scoffed, and the moment Cas heard it he was on his feet, having a good idea what was coming next, "You just nearly lost half your hand. What you really need is a different line of work." 

"You don't know shit about what I need!" Claire yelled, making the doctor jump. 

Cas got to her just as she started to try to stand, catching her shoulders, "Don't. Not right now, and don't move your hand. Not if you want to keep from making it worse." 

Claire continued to yell over his shoulder as he tried to keep her still, worried she'd bolt after the doctor, who was making as quick retreat, "Fucking trying to tell me how to live my life? Go jump off a goddamn bridge, asshole!" 

"Claire, stop. Just stop." Cas said calmly, pressing her back by the shoulders to stay seated on the exam table, and lifting one hand to her cheek as the tears started. He wasn't sure if it was the pain, the drugs for the pain, or the fearful reaction caused by Dean holding her to the car, or a combination compounded by the thoughtless words of the doctor, but as she tried to keep her breathing under control, he could tell she was losing the ability to keep calm. 

Cas glanced to the door as he heard it click shut, and turned back to Claire, stepping in close, and awkwardly pulling her into as much of a hug as he could manage, despite the shaking that had started, indicating one of her more mild panic attacks, "Would it really be so bad if you couldn't work on cars anymore?" 

"I can't." she choked out, "I need it, okay? ...College is just a formality, I don't want to do anything else with my life." 

"Claire... You have had multiple cars fall on you, you've been knocked out, you had stitches in your leg last year, broke a toe, now you've almost lost a hand, to say nothing of the semi accident... You don't have the best luck where machines are involved." 

"Shut up." she managed between sobs. 

He almost wanted to laugh at her uncoordinated, juvenile response, "Claire, please. I'm not asking you to give it up, just see that it's obviously a dangerous profession, and take some time to consider if there's something safer that could make you just as happy. Maybe even happier... But you've got to stop picking fights with heavy machinery." 

"Jesus Christ, dad, it's like you don't know me at all." 

"I know it would break your heart if you couldn't do it at all. But if you did something else, and only repaired a machine now and again, worked on your own vehicle, there would be far less risk of life and limb... Every time something like this happens, I-..." Cas stopped, reassessing what he wanted to say, given what Dean had told him of Claire's well-being for the time she'd been avoiding him, "I never stop worrying about you, do you understand?" 

"This only happened because I distracted. I was distracted because Dean made me promise I was gonna come talk to you, so I guess you got what you wanted, huh?" Claire could see it in his eyes that it hurt him to hear it, and she didn't care. 

Cas nodded, "Let's just set that aside, all of it, just for now. You'll be perfectly capable of hating my guts later, when you're back in one piece." 

Cas stepped back, at first intending to sit down again, but catching sight of a box of tissues, quickly snagged one and gently dried Claire's face. 

* * *

Ben sat in the middle of the porch swing, slouched, knees out to the sides, arms crossed, and on thumbnail to his lip. Nick sprawled comfortably at his feet, occasionally lugging her head at some far of sound. The cordless house phone sat on the seat next to him. It had been hours, and Dean hadn't called. 

He'd considered slipping out to get another look at the construction down the hill, but he didn't want to leave the house, waiting for word on Claire. He cursed his age. Old enough to manage on his own, and too young to be told anything of any importance. 

It had grown dark as he sat, and he got up, turning on the porch light at the switch just inside the door, before he sat down again. He had homework, but no inclination to do it. 

Margaret had stopped by to check on him once the shop had closed down for the night, offering to wait with him, but he'd faked a smile and said everything was cool. He was fine. He was lying, of course, but it got her to leave. 

He considered the way Cas had easily lifted Claire from the floor of the shop, and wondered, if he had children of his own in the future, what kind of father he would be. Cas had been quiet, sometimes even sullen, lately, and it had been obvious at home that he'd fallen into some sort of a funk, but the moment they'd gotten to the shop, seeing Claire on the ground, bleeding, suddenly it was like it had never happened. 

Dean hadn't bandaged her hand, or even sat her up, and Ben couldn't think of a reason Dean would leave her on the floor like that. He considered it possible that it was for Cas' benefit, but as Claire was bleeding, that seemed selfish of Dean. 

Ben checked his watch. It had gotten very late, and he'd still heard nothing. He was about to go inside and raid the kitchen, but headlights flashed at the corner where the road met the highway, and he sat forward, waiting on the white SUV to pull into the drive. 

It seemed to take longer than usual for them to drive the distance, and briefly he wondered if it was actually them, or some lost car looking to turn around, but soon enough, they pulled into the driveway. Cas got out of the driver's door, and went to the door just behind it, giving a very unsteady Claire some help getting to the ground as Dean came around from the other side. 

Seeing Claire on her feet was relieving, and he quickly scooped up the phone and waited to get the door for them. As Dean came closer to the porch, however, the swelling and bruising in the lower part of his face was glaringly obvious. 

"Dad? What happened to your face?" 

Dean shrugged, "This is what happens when she's not holding back." 

"Holy crap." Ben breathed. 

"Yeah." 

"She did that on purpose?" 

"No," Dean replied, coming up the front steps, glancing back over his shoulder to see if Cas needed any help, "She was scared. Probably had no idea it was me. We talked about that, remember?" 

Ben nodded, "No sneaking up on her, yeah." 

"Right." 

"I thought she only hurt one hand?" 

"No, she sprained the other one when she hit me, she's gonna be having it rough for the next couple-a days." 

Ben opened the door, calling Nick, who'd gone straight to Dean, wagging her tail. She complied and went inside as Cas closely followed Claire's slow and shaky pace up the steps of the porch. He kept quiet until Claire had gotten most of the way up the stairs inside before turning to his father, "So, is that why you didn't try to help her? Because you she hit you?" 

"No, not exactly..." Dean said softly, gesturing for Ben to follow him into the kitchen, "She got hurt pretty bad in the past, and any time she gets scared, her brain rewired to adjust to that being the new normal, and it can just throw her into attacking whatever she thinks is going to hurt her, she doesn't have any control over that. That's what happened. Now, she needs time to calm down from that, if I had tried to look at her hand or pick her up, there's a good chance her brain would have kept telling her I was dangerous, and she could have made it a lot worse trying to fight back. But she has an easier time with Cas, because she's hit him enough times that rewiring mostly went back to normal where he's concerned, she knows he's her safety net. You guys were already close by, it was the best thing to do, just wait and let Cas take over." 

"What if she was bleeding out?" Ben asked, keeping his voice low. 

"Well, then, I probably would have had Randy hold her still, get Margaret to try to talk to her, and did my best to slow the bleeding anyway, but... Well, something like that would make her rewiring even worse. It would take her a lot longer to deal with that, and she'd have a hard time trusting anyone for a while, but if it meant she'd live, then you do it, you know?" 

Ben nodded, "So, what now? I mean, are they gonna be talking again?" 

"I don't know... Just give her space, and try to pay attention, help if she asks for it, but remember, it's gonna piss her off to have to ask." 

Ben nodded again, "I hope they figure it out, this is gonna suck if they're still fighting." 

"Got that right." Dean replied. 

* * *


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Here we go, folks, getting a little closer...
> 
> I will say this, Thanksgiving is going to be awesome, and someone you don't see much of is going to be a big reason for that. This is set in stone for me, but I would love some guesses if you want to keep me amused. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! FW)

* * *

Claire sank her head firmly into her pillow, ready to give up on the day and hopefully wake up in the morning to find her hands were fine. She didn't even have the energy to argue as she slowly became aware through whatever he was saying, that Cas was removing her boots.

"Wasn't there a poster on the back of your door?" Cas asked quietly, standing up from the side of her bed. 

"Yeah, I took it down." 

"Some kind of firebird or something, wasn't it?" 

"Um, yeah. It was a phoenix. Alfie made it of me." 

"That's fitting." Cas said with a tilt of his head, not catching Claire's exact words. 

"Huh?" 

"Well, nothing keeps you down for long, a picture of a phoenix seems appropriate." 

Claire gave a weak snort, "It wasn't appropriate." 

"You don't give yourself enough credit." 

"No, I mean, with Ben moving in, I figured he'd go snooping at some point, so I took it down." 

"...It wasn't bird shaped, was it?" 

"No... You never see the back of the door, you only saw it once, by accident, and you were drunk." 

"Well... um... I'm sure it's lovely, but, of course, you need to do whatever makes you comfortable." Cas replied, clearly wanting to avoid further discussion as he shook away a hazy memory of a reddish gold blur, "Do you need anything else? Something to eat?" 

"I'll throw up if I eat. Just let me pass out, okay?" 

Cas nodded, slipping out of the room, leaving the door a handspan ajar. 

Walking to his room, he heard Dean and Ben speaking quietly in the kitchen, he stretched out on the bed, leaving his feet hanging off the side. Suddenly it occurred to him that someone else would want to know, and had likely already heard part of it from Margaret. 

Cas sat up again with a tired groan, retrieving his phone and dialing Alfie's number. 

Alfie picked up with a timid and concerned inflection, having seen Cas' contact information on his screen. 

"Alfie, I wanted to make sure someone contacted you. Claire had an accident at the shop today. She's home now." 

"Um, Margaret told me, said she hurt her hand?" 

"Both hands. One in a car hood, the other on Dean's face, I'm sure you can put it all together. She's got a cast on, and a brace that can come off when the sprain is healed, I would have suggested she call you, but she's worn out, just wanted to sleep." 

"Yeah," Alfie replied, "Of course, I understand completely. Just, when she's awake, can you tell her... um, that... I, uh-" 

"It's been two years, you can't possibly think I'm unaware." 

"It's just-..." 

"Yes, I'll tell her." 

"Thanks... I can try to get an earlier flight back, maybe tomorrow," Alfie started. 

Cas closed his eyes, reminding himself he'd have the exact same reaction, "Cutting your trip short isn't going to unbreak her hand. It's not as though she doesn't have support, and... If she doesn't want to be here, I'll take her back over to your house, and let Kevin and Margaret fill in. Just wait until you hear from her before you change your plans." 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yes. You're just now branching out like this, I'm sure your aunt would tell you the same thing." 

"Yeah, but she's, um-" 

"I've heard." 

"Yeah... Okay, well, coming from you, I'll believe it. I'll wait until I talk to Claire." 

* * *

At the sound of a rattle and a sob, Ben's eyes popped open, and when a small slamming sound echoed from across the hall, he was sure he hadn't imagined it.

He rolled out of bed, and went to the doorway across the hall, hearing a faint sniffle, "Claire? You okay?" 

"Can you open this bottle?" 

Ben walked through the dark room quickly to where she'd sat up on the side of the bed, trying to wrench open a pill bottle despite her cast and brace, "What is it?" 

"Pills wore off." she replied in a pained whisper. 

"How do you know it's time to take them again?" 

"It has to be, they wore off, please just open the damn bottle." 

With the amount of medications his mother had been on before her death, Ben had had it drilled into his head many times that medication schedules had to be kept strictly, and risks of over overdosing were worst when the rules were bent, "When did you take them?" 

"Ben... it really freaking hurts, okay?" Claire hissed. 

Taking the bottle from her bound, clumsy hands, he caught site of the word 'vicodin,' "Yeah, gimme a second." 

Ben hurried to the door as Claire called after him, "Don't wake them up... Ben?" 

Without putting much thought into it, he knocked softly on Cas and Dean's door before cracking it open, "Hey... Claire needs-" 

He was cut off as Cas pulled the door further open, barely awake. Ben held up the bottle of pills, "Claire says they wore off." 

Sleepily, Cas accepted the bottle and started for Claire's door as Ben made for the stairs. Cas entered the room with a bit of a sleepy stagger, and turned on the lamp on Claire's nightstand. 

Claire cringed as the bright light hit her eyes, hurting too much to care who noticed her tears. Cas checked the dose and time listed on the bottle against the time on her phone, and popped the bottle open, "One or two?" 

"Five." 

Cas tipped two pills out into his palm, closing the bottle and looking around, surprised he hadn't brought up some water earlier, just as Ben came through the door with a half a glass of water. 

"Thank you, Ben." Cas said, taking the glass from him, "Try to get some sleep, you have school in the morning." 

As Ben left the room, he waited patiently as Claire got a careful grip on the pills between the fingers of her left hand, and popped them into her mouth, reaching for the glass. 

"After you fell asleep earlier, I called Alfie. I assumed you'd want him to know." 

Claire gave him a look of intense irritation as she reached to set the glass down, "So he can screw everything up by coming straight home, great." 

"No. He'd already heard from Margaret. I convinced him not to change his plans until he's spoken to you." 

Claire gave a more relaxed shrug, "Thanks... This trip is a big deal for him, he's not gonna help anything by coming back early." 

"I gathered that... And he said to tell you he loves you. He'll likely be expecting to hear from you tomorrow." Cas muttered. 

Claire looked up, "He actually said that? To you, on the phone?" 

"He tried to. I said I'd relay the message." 

"Okay, that's a little more realistic." Claire answered, carefully settling herself back down onto the bed. 

* * *

Pulling his small truck up to the mobile home, Ivan felt a warmth he hadn't expected to feel at sight of golden light coming through the cheap curtains hanging in the living room window. It dissipated as the reality of the situation resurfaced in his mind, and he got out, circling the truck. He pulled his backpack and two guitars, one in a gig bag and the other in a hard case, from the passenger seat, and kept quiet as he went up the porch stairs. 

Hearing water running, he stepped past the small wall that blocked his view to the kitchen, finding Julie at the sink. She set a plate down in the small drain rack on the counter and squeezed out the sponge, setting it aside before rinsing her hands and shutting off the water. She'd barely started to turn around, dabbing her eyes with the back of her wrist when he spoke softly, trying not to make her jump. 

"Hey... Being brave?" 

Looking up at him, Julie's face was awash with emotions, and with a tearful nod she stepped closer, fitting perfectly into the safety of his arms. 

Ivan adjusted carefully to hug her with one arm, "Let me go put this stuff up, I'll be right back." 

He hurried into his room, setting everything down on the bed, carefully, and went back to the kitchen. Julie had moved to the living room, toward the bedroom at the other end of the house, but he caught her shoulder with a comforting touch, and hugged her properly, "I tried to call you yesterday." 

"She disconnected my phone. I'm gonna get one of those cheap ones tomorrow, for emergencies." 

"Yeah... Okay, that's a good idea." Ivan replied, "You know, I know some folks who'd watch her if you want help to go get the rest of your stuff." 

Julie shrugged, "She'd never let me in without Cyndi... And last time we had a fight this big, she said she was gonna have me declared an unfit mother, so I don't want to try my luck." 

Ivan nodded, "Is she asleep?" 

"Yeah... I was so worn out, I made her a sandwich for dinner... mom-fail." 

"She ate, she didn't go to bed hungry, that's not a fail, don't worry about it." 

* * *

Sitting down alone with his tray, Ben's goal was to eat quickly and get out of the cafeteria before Trey spotted him again. He'd been able to avoid him for the most part, but he hadn't been able to speak to Jack except on the phone. It seemed to him that Trey was following Jack in order to target Ben. 

With Xander now living at the Lytton home, Jack and Xander were both picked up from school and he didn't even have the chance to speak to them on the days he still rode the bus. The isolation was wearing on him. 

His concentration had suffered, and about half way through the school day, he'd caved, phoning it in. His grades were high enough, he was certain getting through the day was far more important than actively paying attention, although acting up just enough to be sent to the office had crossed his mind. He just didn't want to burden Cas. 

During his trek to the bakery, he hadn't been paying much attention, until he heard squabbling several yards behind him. Turning around, he spotted Aubrey, and two other girls, and from the way Aubrey seemed to shy away from them as one repeatedly tapped her shoulder obnoxiously, he was sure they weren't friends. 

He slowed his pace and waited as Aubrey's quick steps soon overtook his own, and stepped to the side to let her pass, and as the two other girls continued to harass her. 

He was about to make an attempt to break up the situation when Aubrey suddenly snapped, shoving one of them sideways, making her stumble against one of the city garbage cans. Aubrey continued walking as the second girl laughingly helped up the one who'd been shoved, happy to have gotten a rise out of Aubrey. 

Ben sped up, catching up to Aubrey quickly, ignoring the girl getting up from the ground, "Hey, are you okay?" 

"Stop following me." Aubrey growled. 

"I'm not trying to. Just going to the bakery." 

Aubrey scoffed, "Right." 

Ben shrugged in frustration and slowed again, waiting until Aubrey had gone into the bakery, considering walking back to the school instead, but screwed up his courage and went inside a few minutes later. 

He began his usual routine, wiping the glass cases, the windows, the door, and was already started on the floor when Aubrey's grandmother left for her usual afternoon coffee run to the small shop three doors down. 

He'd gotten nearly finished sweeping when the door opened again, bringing in a familiar face. 

"Hi Rabbi Jake." 

"Ben, good to see you. I didn't know you were working here." 

"Um, not really. Just helping out." 

Rabbi Jake nodded, "Well, that's good. You think you can set me up with some of the canolis? I've got a dinner party tonight, I thought they might be a good match for the desert wine I picked up." 

"I can't handle the food, I'll have to get Aubrey, hang on." Ben replied, setting the broom down and going to the back room. 

He swung open the door, unintentionally startling Aubrey, who immediately looked up from where she'd been frosting cupcakes. Her hair was pulled back, contained in a net, her entire face visible, her wide eyes a color he couldn't place, and the shape of her port wine stain birthmark was roughly the shape of a heart. 

"What?" Aubrey snapped. 

Ben suddenly found himself incredibly uncomfortable, and very concerned Aubrey would soon figure out why. He stammered, "Um, there's, uh, there's a customer. I'm not supposed to..." 

"Who?" 

"Rabbi Jake, he wants to get some canolis." Ben muttered, stepping back from the door, trying to find somewhere else to focus his attention as she pushed past him. He stepped back as if the brush of her shoulder were painful, and considered ducking into the restroom. 

* * *

Returning home for the day, pizza boxes in hand, Cas went for the kitchen as Ben headed upstairs.

Claire was sitting at the table, her phone sitting awkwardly below the few fingers of her left hand that were fairly mobile despite the brace. 

He set the boxes in the over and turned on the warmer, "How are you feeling?" 

"I'm okay... Dean came home and made me eat lunch." Claire said quietly, "Margaret's coming over after work." 

"I suppose you've spoken to Alfie, already." 

"No, I was going to, but..." 

Cas had come around the back of her chair, and leaned forward as she tried clumsily to press the home button, catching a brief glimpse of a pencil drawing of pale grey lines showing two forms in an embrace. He pressed the button for her, navigated to her dialer, and pressed two, pulling up Alfie's number immediately. 

"How did you now I had him set on speed dial?" Claire asked. 

"I didn't. Two is also A, and you never call him by his given name." Cas replied, walking away from the table. 

"Fine, I'll change his entry to Falfie." Claire replied, the medications slurring her voice a bit. 

"You won't. You have the shop set for three." 

Claire narrowed her eyes, "You snoop on my phone?" 

"I don't. But you never do much to cover your screen." 

* * *

Margaret sat on the closed lid of the toilet, flipping through a magazine with triplets on the cover, "You know some people leave their kids in backwards car seats until they're seven?" 

"Why would they do that?" Claire asked from the tub. Her cast, wrapped in a garbage bag to be on the safe side, rested on the side, interrupting the hanging fabric of the closed curtain. 

Margaret shrugged, "Super weak floppy baby necks getting whiplash... I remember when my cousin turned one, my aunt turned his carseat around, but my sister didn't turn my nephew around until he was two. But they don't even have to have a booster after eight, so... I don't even know. There's so many ways to screw this up." 

"Everybody screws up, that's what life is." 

"Yeah, but I'm inflicting all my screw ups on an innocent baby, so I want to make sure they're small screw ups." Margaret answered, "So, you and your dad talking again?" 

"Only enough to pretend nothing happened." 

"Claire-" 

"How's stuff with your dad?" Claire asked sharply. 

"I will leave your gimped up ass in the tub, I swear to god." Margaret answered, "You know that's not that same thing at all." 

"Still, no room to preach, but you're doing it anyway." Claire's tone had changed considerably. 

"Kevin says my dad is all about control, and he's only trying to make things right so he can keep me locked in the dysfunctional family unit, and he's a narcissist... He says your dad made one mistake, not a lifetime of them." 

"Kevin says a lot of stuff, it doesn't mean he knows everything." 

"Okay. So tell me where that's wrong." 

"It doesn't have to be wrong for me to not want to be here, not want to work it out yet. This stuff is supposed to honest, right? I can't just fake-forgive him." Claire answered, shifting, and causing a small splash. 

"Worked with Julie." 

"He's not Julie. I don't live with her." 

"You barely live with him, even though you said you were gonna try." Margaret said, flipping a page. 

"I can't help feeling pissed off any more than you can help crying about tiny socks right now, okay? I don't want him to apologize, I just want to stay angry until it burns itself out. Dean tried to get me to stop, but, I don't know, it's just... it's not going away." 

* * *

_The memory played out in her dream exactly as it had happened years before. His hand struck her face, already burning with shame, and as a door slammed further off, he grabbed her arm roughly. It was nothing new, she'd do the same to him if he wasn't the size of a house._

_"You better not say a damn thing about me, Julie. I don't care who takes the blame for this, but I'm gonna tell you this just once, it's not me. You got that?" Chaz threatened._

_"Whatever..." she muttered. She'd tried. She gave him a chance to make some input, or be involved. She didn't particularly want the baby, and she was afraid, but she'd had no false ideas about love existing between them._

_Claire, one of the few people she'd steer clear of, and only recently, at that, suddenly appeared, "Hey, Chaz? I'd tell you to hit somebody your own intellectual size, but we'd run out of bricks for you to punch. Knock it off."_

_"Fuck off, Claire."_

_"Nice comeback, dipshit." Claire shot back, "Julie, go get in the truck, I don't have time for this."_

_She hesitated, knowing the longer she stood, speaking to - or more correctly, being yelled at by - Chaz, the more likely someone would connect them, which was exactly what he'd just told her to avoid, "I don't... um..."_

_Claire turned to her with a look of disgust, "Get in the damn truck, Julie!"_

_Julie found herself frozen to the spot, unsure, and unwilling to move. Claire gave a quick shake of her head and caught Julie's arm with a surprising strength, tugging her along through the parking lot toward a small white truck that didn't appear to have more than two seats in the cab._

_The passenger door swung open as she approached, and inside sat Ivan, reaching for her through the passenger seat, "It's gonna be fine, I promise..."_

Julie shook herself awake. It had only been a couple of hours since she'd fallen asleep, still clothed, curled against him on his bed, but she hadn't meant to. She wanted to stay, to let her guard down, but fear forced her hand and she struggled to her feet, getting up from the bed. 

She tried to step quietly as she went around the foot of the bed, headed for the door. Ivan rolled onto his back with a small groan, "Julie?" 

"Yeah, just, going back in there with Cyndi." 

"Did she wake up?" Ivan asked sleepily. 

"No, but she will." Julie said softly, "And, anyway, people are gonna think..." 

"They're gonna think that anyway, it doesn't matter." 

Julie cringed, "They are gonna think that anyway, what was I thinking...?" 

"Julie, it's nobody's business. If they act like it is, they're a nobody, okay?" Ivan sat up and reached for her hand, tugging her closer, "Just, do what's best for you and Cyndi. No big deal. I mean, we're dressed, we can leave the door open, or whatever you wanna do." 

Julie gave his hand a squeeze, "She's gonna wake up in a few hours, and she won't know where she is, she hasn't been in that room before, I don't want her to get scared." 

Ivan nodded, "Yeah, okay... I guess she'd probably freak out less if you're there... But, y'know, in the future..." 

"I don't know... Sorry, I just don't." 

"Good enough for me, I don't know, either." Ivan replied quietly, "But I know I like that you're here." 

* * *

When the bedroom door swung open, Dean was surprised to see Cas enter, damp with sweat, "What's going on?" 

"Weight bench in the garage." Cas replied. 

"This late?" 

"Why not?" 

Dean shrugged, "So, are we bringing it up here? I wouldn't have minded watching that." 

"No. No, Ben said he'd like to get some use out of it, better to leave it where it is." 

Dean chuckled, getting up from the bed, "Well, there go our plans. But if you overdo it, you're gonna hurt yourself." 

Cas set his bottle of water down on the dresser, a smirk crossing his mouth for a moment as he reached for Dean. 

"So, all nice and worn out? Gonna let me take care of you, hose you off, tuck you in?" 

Cas gave Dean a domineering once-over, "You couldn't wait... I'm going to have to start carrying the key." 

"Is it really such a bad thing if I was gonna be ready for you when you finally decided to show up? Not my fault you suddenly turned into a health nut." Dean replied. 

Cas gave a slow shake of his head, and gently pressed Dean back against the wall between the closet and bathroom doors. 

"Hey," Dean said gently, "No big deal, it'll wait. I'm sure you're exhausted." 

Cas didn't respond, holding his gaze, slipping his hands into the back of Dean's boxers. He grasped Dean's ass tightly, and the hard rim of the plug was evident in the feel of the more pliable flesh as Dean shuddered from the motions. 

"Cas..." 

"Which one did you use?" Cas asked, his chest pressing Dean's more firmly, pushing Dean's back to the wall. 

"The silver one." Dean admitted in a breathy, aroused tone. 

"Ambitious... Were you that desperate to get something hard inside you?" 

Dean gave a tiny, distracted shrug, "I've had harder. I've had you." 

"It's stainless steel." 

"Whatever it is, it's sitting just right." Dean said with a hint of a whimper. 

Irritated, or at least pretending to be, Cas shoved Dean's boxers down and kissed him hard, pulling one of Dean's cheeks to the side, and gripping the base of the plug with his other hand, pulling slowly as Dean's body tried to resist, holding onto the plug, "How much did you use?" 

"Enough." 

Cas could feel the slippery liquid that started to drip as Dean's hands braced themselves on Cas' shoulders, "I should teach you to behave yourself." 

"You think you got the energy left for that?" Dean asked with a smirk, but his expression quickly changed as Cas popped the end of the plug free of his body, and tossed it to the bed. 

Dean gasped, but Cas wasted no time in quickly stripping off and grabbing Dean's bare form, giving him a small slam back into the wall. 

"Did I make you mad, sweetheart?" Dean asked. The overly innocent inflection in his voice spurred Cas on. Dean knew exactly what buttons to push. 

Cas ducked low for a moment, grabbing Dean's thighs roughly and pinning him to the wall, higher than he'd been standing, making Dean gasp, "What do you think?" 

"I think, uh... you're pissed, so, I'd better not make this any harder on myself?" Dean said quietly, playing along. 

Cas shifted to hook his elbows below Dean's knees, and carefully but quickly aligned himself, pressing into Dean roughly. He waited as Dean caught his breath, hands clenched on Cas' shoulders, until Dean seemed ready to continue, "Is that what you wanted?" 

"You're not gonna drop me, right?" 

"Dean..." 

"Please... Cas, I just wanted you... I was gonna-, ohhh, god..." Dean ground out as Cas started to move, thick and hard inside of him, "I wanted to... I was gonna ride you for a while... Not complaining, this is good..." 

Cas leaned in hard as he moved, "You thought I would let you?... Just lay back and let you?" 

"You let me before." Dean said quietly, mostly lost in the motion of Cas' body. 

"I spoil you." 

"Yeah, you do." 

"You've gotten needy and demanding, Dean." 

"Can you blame me?" Dean asked, "Still haven't kissed me since you got in here, I know what that means." 

"Explain it." Cas growled. 

Dean shook his head, "No... You know we're good at this... goddamn... you wanna act like a selfish bastard, I'm gonna let you take whatever you can get." 

Cas watched intently as Dean's head rocked back against the wall, exposing every delicious curve of his throat. He was right, of course. When Cas, mild and temperate as he was in daily life, with his desk job and button-down shirts and his damned slacks let go, it was something else entirely. And Dean, frequently tangling with steel machines, bending them to his will, he came to Cas to be bent into submission. 

Cas felt it as Dean's hardness twitched against his stomach, and Dean tried to give a swing of his hips into Cas' motions, helpless where his body stayed pinned to the wall, the floor too far to reach. 

"Cas, please..." Dean breathed. 

"You're begging already?" 

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas' shoulders, giving a slight start when Cas adjusted his footing. 

"Everything you do to me, babe..." Dean said quietly, shuddering as Cas' angle changed, "Ohhh, fuck... More..." 

"Stay quiet, but keep talking." Cas commanded. 

"Cas..." Dean's voice shook as Cas thrust in harder, "Oh, that's perfect... I need it... I've been needing it all day." 

"What you need is a firm hand across your ass, but it'd be too loud right now, the way you yelp and moan like a whore." 

"I do moan like a whore... But how would you know what a whore sounds like?" Dean asked. 

Cas narrowed his eyes, slowing down, "For that matter, how would you?" 

"Porn?" Dean offered, "I think we can both agree it was porn, and drop the subject." 

Castiel thrust in roughly with a growl, "Whatever you did in the past, it doesn't matter, your ass is mine, now." 

"Oh, shit... So damn good..." Dean's words took on a hint of a whine. 

Cas pulled one of Dean's knees up onto his shoulder, and dropped the other as Dean tried desperately to balance all of his weight on Cas' body and the wall, trying to tighten his leg around Cas' waist as Cas thrust harder, the angle of Dean's back and hips being the only thing keeping him from thumping against the wall loudly. 

With his free hand, Cas covered Dean's mouth and turned his head to the side, leaning in next to his shoulder and neck, whispering in a rough voice, "Don't hold back... I've got more I want from you." 

Dean squirmed at the thought, a muffled moan vibrating through Cas' hand. 

Almost too soon, Dean's breath started to catch, writhing below Cas' touch, fighting away from the wall to get further contact with Cas' body, and Cas pinned him harder to the wall, taking a brutal pace as Dean clawed his fingers into Cas' hair with a growling moan as his entire body shook, coating both their stomachs in thick, sticky white sprays. 

Cas pulled out of him so fast the sudden absence carried a mild pain, an emptiness Dean would be desperate to fill again soon. He felt Cas stumble slightly as he pulled back, getting Dean's legs below him before stepping back. 

Dean caught Cas' shoulders, steadying him, "Overdid it?" 

In response, Cas' hand came up in a soft love-tap or mock-slap across Dean's cheek, not enough to hurt, just enough to pretend, before he dragged Dean with him to the floor. 

Cas stretched out slightly, raised on his elbows just enough to watch, still breathing hard, and Dean could see how tired he really was, but he didn't dare bring it up, instead dragging his hand across his own stomach and adding his now slick hand to the glistening skin of Cas' length to stroke him. 

Aware Cas was watching his every move, Dean continued to work at his flesh, increasing his speed, and leaned low, running his tongue through the mess he'd made on Cas' stomach. 

Cas let go a deep sound from the back of his throat, watching the display, and Dean picked up speed, tightening his hand, adding a flick of his thumb just under Cas' frenulum, making him shake. Finally beaten, Cas grabbed at the back of Dean's neck, pressing his face down into Cas' stomach, falling the rest of the way onto his back as Dean stroked him fast and hard. 

With a sound somewhere between a grunt and a growl, Cas' body surrendered, spilling loose over Dean's attentive hands, and with a sigh of relief, Cas eased his grip on Dean's neck, gently urging him closer. 

Dean scooted upward just a bit, enough that Cas was able to pull him close in a demanding kiss. 

"Okay, so, now? Shower?" 

"Yes, shower." Cas replied, letting Dean pull him up from the floor. 

* * *


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: I have almost caught up to myself. There's some more Gabe&Cas backstory in here.
> 
> I really want to take some screenshots and put them on my tumblr, because the places are so real in my head, I built them in Sims3. I keep meaning to do that. I wish I could go into detail on everything but I worry it would dry out the story.
> 
> Thanks for reading. Nearly done writing our amazing Thanksgiving, it's a mess of awesome, and nobody gets punched.
> 
> Love you all! FW)

* * *

Dean had been careful to avoid making physical contact with Claire on the first day she'd stayed home, Friday, but Saturday morning, he slipped. 

He set a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon in front of her at the table, with both a fork and a spoon, just in case, and then gathered her long locks, pulling them back behind her shoulders. He was distracted by the feel of several odd tangles hidden deep in her hair. She hadn't been able to brush it properly. 

"Dean." Cas said softly. 

Dean looked down to find Claire had frozen up. Fighting the urge to give her a comforting pat on the shoulder, he stepped back, "Sorry, Claire. Just trying to help you keep it out of your plate." 

He rounded the table and sat down, fairly uncomfortable at the awkward silence that plagued the room, and wondered when Ben would be down. 

Claire started with an honest attempt to eat, but became frustrated. 

"So... Monday..." Cas started gently, "I suppose you'll want to be back in class, what does your schedule look like?" 

"Looks like dropping me off at Alfie's Sunday, and I'll ride with Margaret." Claire groused. 

"I can adjust my schedule, Claire. I don't mind driving you." 

Claire shook her head, irritated at the lack of flexibility in her wrist, "It's just easier for me, okay?" 

Cas nodded reluctantly, "Of course, whatever makes this easier for you." 

Dean could see the disappointment Cas carefully hid, and tried to change the subject, "Okay, so, as long as you're down for the count, you need anything done on your car? Anything you don't want to wait on?" 

"Oh, for the love of shit, you're both completely insufferable." Claire muttered, quickly getting up from the table and heading upstairs. 

Dean stared after her, confused. He turned to Cas, "I thought she grew out of the moody teenager crap already?" 

"No, I'm afraid this one is on me... Again." Cas sighed, a guilty look coming over his face. 

"I asked how her car was, and she blew up, and that's your fault?" 

Cas shrugged, "I suggested she may want to consider a safer profession, long term. She won't be able to change the oil if she's only got one hand to do it with." 

"Cas... C'mon. All the crap she gave you over buying a Ford? And that was when she'd only been doing this for a couple of months." 

"It's only been two years. Let me remind you, this wasn't your dream job. Sometimes the backup plan is where we're meant to be." 

"Cas, I love you, but you're an idiot." 

"You wanted to be a doctor, life got in the way, your path changed, and you fell back on car repair. She's getting an education, she could easily do so much more than be a mechanic." 

"That education she's getting is her backup plan. She doesn't want to be stuck at a desk all day." 

"No, she wants to bleed on things and lose digits. I don't understand it." Cas said with a shake of his head. 

"You don't have to. She understands it just fine. It's her calling, or whatever... Just so happens it's backwards, if she ever has to give up on her dream, she'll make more money on the backup plan, but it's her dream, not yours... What was yours, anyway? I don't know anyone who goes into school office administration for the glory of it." 

"That is... it's a very complicated history, but, basically, I didn't have a plan, and college was hell. I drifted through, relying on what I'd already learned during my high school years, and slept through every lecture. It's frustrating, really, to see that she's putting so much work into something she never plans to use." 

"She'll use it, Cas, she's not just some stereotypical grease-monkey. She doesn't want to just work in a shop, she wants her own. By the time she makes that happen," Dean shrugged, "Provided a certain somebody doesn't decide to just fund it for her... She'll be at a desk half the time, anyway. But she's gonna do great. Don't tell her to give that up." 

Cas nodded, "One more thing I'll eventually have to apologize for..." 

* * *

Ben had gone out early, closing the door of his room behind him, and now wandered comfortably among the trees. Certain branches, rocks, and patterns of underbrush were starting to spell out a map in his mind. He was learning his way around the area, and finding it far easier to navigate. 

He made his way out onto the ranch, with Nick at his side, giving the occasional wag, just happy to be wherever he was. 

The trees and rocks, patches of thicket, were all starting to carry their own shapes, as every time Ben went exploring, his surroundings became more familiar. He was learning his way, mapping it all in his mind. He found the opening to the ranch easily, and made his way to where he could see the construction site. 

Walls were beginning to form, a skeleton rising from the concrete foundation. It wasn't blocky, it was detailed with obvious aesthetics meant to be more pleasing to the eye than a rectangular warehouse. Supports seemed to hint at a second, and possibly even third level. Smaller, and set nearby, was a second set of more basic walls, possibly a detached garage, but in comparison to the main building, it was still very large. 

There was no sign of the road or driveway extending past the area containing the buildings. 

Unsure what to make of it, Ben turned around and started back for the fence, turning it all over in his head. He'd hoped he'd have something to report back to Claire, anything to distract her from being at home. 

A small grey blur caught his eye just as Nick took off after it. Concerned, Ben chased after her, barely getting her back in his sight as she grabbed the furry grey creature, and gave a savage shake of her head as it squealed. 

"Nick! Drop it!" Ben screeched, "Drop it, now!" 

Nick let it fall to the ground, and Ben cautiously approached. She pawed at the ground next to it, and gave it a playful jab with her nose as the wounded animal attempted to stand, only managing to shake. The dog's saliva and it's own blood matted the grey fur, and as Ben continued forward in horror, he recognized it as a rabbit. 

"What did you do?...shit..." 

Ben tugged off his hoodie, worried about the many things he'd heard of wild animals carrying, and crept up close. 

Nick bounced slightly in place, as if she wanted him to throw a ball, entirely unaware of Ben's reaction to her actions. 

"Go home, Nick!" Ben said harshly, and bent down, trying to avoid coming into contact with the injured creature as he wrapped it gently. He picked it up, and started to walk to the house at a careful pace, wanting to move quickly, avoid jostling the small bundle, and keep it away from him without dropping it. 

Nick darted ahead, but several times she stopped to look back at him. She was excited, she wanted to play. She kept looking at the bundle in his hands expectantly. 

"It's not a damn chew toy!" Ben muttered, prompting Nick to run up onto the back porch and wait with a wag at the door. He kneed her aside as he went in, leaving her in the back yard, thoroughly disgusted by her behavior. 

"Dad?" Ben called, coming through the kitchen, "Dad? Are you up yet?" 

The creak of an office chair sounded through the living room, and Cas came around the corner past the stairs, "Ben? I thought you were sleeping in... What's that?" 

Ben's face twisted as he fought back tears, "My stupid dog tried to kill it." 

Parental sympathy washed over Cas' face as he came closer, reaching for the bundle, "It's not the dog's fault, Ben. It's in her instinct to chase. She's an animal." 

Cas took the wrapped rabbit into the kitchen, setting the bundle on the kitchen table, and opening the fabric gently. 

"Get some paper towels." Cas said softly, pulling his phone from his pocket, and dialing, "Dean, is the shop busy today?... Nick caught a rabbit, and Ben brought it in... A few punctures, but I'm not sure... Do they have an emergency line?" 

* * *

Kevin pulled up to the curb at the airport, popping the trunk, waiting as Alfie tossed his suitcase inside, and got in the passenger door. 

"Hi, honey, how was your flight?" Kevin asked in a mocking, girlish tone. 

"How's Claire?" Alfie asked, ignoring the question, and pulling the door shut. 

"She's, uh... Well, she had one those, y'know, _those_ nightmares last night. Heard her from Margaret's room, sent her a text. She was pretty out of it, didn't even remember walking through the house, but, she slept okay after that." 

Alfie nodded gravely, thinking it over, "She didn't call... Normally, she calls. I leave the ringer on." 

"She can barely work her phone when she's awake, don't take it personally. Nothing to write Penthouse about, either, if you were wondering." 

Alfie shrugged, "So, aside from that, is she okay?" 

"She's... drugged up. And angry, really. At the drugs, at the pain, at her dad... Kind of a mess right now... But now that you're back, maybe she can unload." 

"Hey." 

"I meant verbally, I'm not that bad." 

"Yeah, you are." 

"Yeah, I am, she totally needs to get laid. But she talks to you, too, so, that should help." Kevin said. 

"She talks to you guys." 

"Not the same thing. I've overheard enough to know she actually opens up to- Damn, I really can't talk without sounding like a pervert. Margaret's fault, probably... Anyway, yeah, she probably needs a long talk." 

* * *

Claire was perfectly comfortable in the cool air, the soft bed, and the warm comforter resting above her, but as her fog began to lift, she could feel a delicate touch gently pressing the edge of the sleeve of the loose, oversized tshirt up her arm, and soon, a relaxed pair of lips were planting soft, damp, deliberate kisses to her skin. 

She rolled onto her back, just enough to make out his face, "I missed you." 

"I'm sorry, I should have come home sooner." 

"No." she said quietly, shifting to get her fingers to his throat as he leaned in close to kiss her properly. 

"How loopy are you right now?... Because last time you were doped up, um... I can go sleep on the couch, not a big deal." 

Claire shook her head, "Stay here." 

"Does it hurt?" 

"Yeah, but you'll keep me distracted." 

Claire was starting to doze off again, but Alfie shifted to get his arms around her, and his voice dragged her back up again, "Heard you had a little cuddle-fest while I was gone." 

"Yeah," she replied sleepily, "Nothing happened, just..." 

"Shhh... I'm glad you weren't alone." Alfie whispered, "But, I'm here now, so, what can I do? Pillows? Glass of water? ...Anything you can't do with your hands all bandaged up, maybe?" 

"Just keep holding me." 

"I was gonna do that anyway." Alfie said softly. 

A thought flittered through Claire's mind, and she shifted, pulling her head back from where she'd tucked it under his chin, and although she could barely see him in the darkness, she looked for his eyes, "If you got hurt this much, this often at the shop, would you still keep working there?" 

"Um... You still thinking about taking a break from it? Because I thought after you got your insomnia meds sorted out, that plan was scrapped?" 

"No, I mean, if you, no insomnia, just kept having this stuff happen, would you keep fixing cars? Like, if you'd broken a hand." Claire whispered. 

"I, um... I don't know. Probably. Because, honestly, I have much more important things to do with my hands." 

"Right... art." 

"I was thinking of something else, but that's also a good answer." Alfie said rather confidently, despite his shy grin. 

"Yeah, but we don't, since-" 

"I have gone two and a half weeks without putting my hands in anything fun, scrubbed everything off of them, even went for a manicure because Naomi was bored... Now that I think about it, that, if you'd want me to, ever, that would be a good enough reason to quit right there." Alfie replied, taking a gentle hold of her waist. 

Claire squirmed in place and the moment he felt it, he moved his hand to her shoulder. She took a deep breath and moved back just a fraction of an inch. 

"Still okay?" 

"Yeah." Claire answered with a small nod. 

"Not doing anything right now, though?" 

Claire shook her head, and curled against him. 

* * *

After three difficult and stress filled days attempting to care for the injured rabbit, comfort Ben, who was clearly having a rough time of it, and repair the damage between Ben and Nick, all the while wondering how well Claire was getting along, Cas was quickly approaching his emotional limit. 

At least Dean was low-maintenance. 

Knowing Ben was taking the bus, and would be home soon, Cas went straight to the garage, where the makeshift hutch had been set up. Ben had followed the veterinarian's every instruction to the letter, but Cas was getting home early every day to check on it, first. 

The small, fluffy creature had gone still and cold, and no amount of prodding or sound would stir it. He heard the front door, and hurried out of the garage. 

Ben set his backpack down on the couch, starting for the garage, but caught sight of Cas' face, "What?" 

"Ben, I'm very sorry,-" 

"It died?" 

"Yes." 

Ben scratched at the back of his head, and gave a heavy shrug, "Well... I tried my best, I guess..." 

"You did. You really did. But sometimes even the best care in the world isn't enough." 

The boy nodded, "Yeah, I know. I mean, it happens... So, now I guess... How deep does the hole have to be?" 

"Enough that other animals won't smell it and dig it up. I'm sure we can wait, your father would know." 

Ben shook his head, "No, just tell me where. I know how to use a shovel." 

"Ben, grief is a-" 

"Cas, I'm okay. I wanted to help it, and I tried, and it didn't work, but since I tried, at least I didn't just leave it out there, so..." he shrugged, "I don't know. I mean, it still ended up dead, but I gave it a chance to pull through." 

Cas nodded, "You did your best." 

"I just... I mean, I'm sad, a little, but I don't feel like I have to feel bad about this." 

Cas gave him an encouraging squeeze around the shoulders, "That sounds like a very healthy way to feel about this. But even so, I'm sorry." 

* * *

Cas wasn't paying close attention when he walked into his office to sit down, staring at a small stack of papers in hand, and stopped in his tracks as he started around his desk. In the chair before him was Gabe, and Gabe had a clipboard. 

"What are you doing here?" Cas asked. 

"I actually set up an appointment to come talk to you, they didn't tell you?" 

"No. They said someone was coming in for a meeting, but I assumed it was a parent, and I thought I still had fifteen minutes." 

Gabe shrugged, "No biggie. Anyway, the board wants their little-" he held up two fingers to mime air-quotations, "-'inquest,' and asked if I'd run you through a little interview." 

"Why you?" 

"Because we worked together." 

"For a very short time." 

"And, as peers, where neither can really do any harm to the other's career, so, they figure you'll be comfortable enough to spill your guts, and I'll give them an honest review of what's going on." 

Cas sat down, his irritation evident on his face. 

"So, what happened? How'd the holy-roller piss you off?" Gabe asked, adjusting his clipboard, prepared to take notes. 

Cas shook his head, "I don't want to have this conversation with you. You can speak to the vice principal, she was there for the entire interaction." 

"C'mon, Cas! You can trust me." 

"The last time I trusted you, I wound up walking back to my dorm room naked, covered in leaves and tree sap, and nothing to show for it but a tape recorder glued to my hand and a rumor that I was a dendrophiliac." 

Gabe spread his hands, "It was a long time ago. I was an asshole. But this time, I'm actually trying to help you." 

"To assuage your own guilt, I'm sure." 

"Cas," Gabe said firmly, "You can hold onto that for the rest of your life, but I know you well enough to know that you look for the good in other people, and you rarely defend yourself. Nobody else's career is on the line, here, just yours, and if you're too easy on this teacher, it's gonna reflect badly on you. So, you want to skip this? It's her word against yours, amigo. And I came here to help you make sure your side of this comes out right." 

Cas gave him a hard look across the desk. He'd only ever seen Gabe get tough right before a fight. The jokes would stop, and suddenly no punches would be pulled. He was serious. Cas leaned slightly in his chair, "She had Ben in the class. My understanding is that one foul word slipped out, and she harassed him, making comments about his deceased mother, and hell, all in front of the other children. Ben's friend openly called her a bitch, and she sent them both to the office." 

Gabe began scribbling quickly, "Is that it?" 

"That is when I stepped in, with Hannah Rowland, pulled the teacher from the classroom, and confronted her about her choice of words. She brought religion into it. I pointed out that it was inappropriate in a school setting." 

Gabe nodded, "Anything else?" 

"I can't think of anything." 

"She said she's a victim of the gay agenda, and she was scared to send the boys to your office, seeing as you're not a raging hetero bible-thumper, but they were out of control, and then you told her to leave." 

"Yes, well," Cas said with an exasperated sigh, "When I get a copy of that agenda, I'll check and see if it's true... If you need to speak to the boys, I suggest you start with Ben. Jack's been known to embellish." 

Gabe looked up, "So, they're still friends, huh?" 

"Yes." 

Gabe nodded absently as he continued to write, "Well, I'm glad they were able to get past it." 

"Some people can." Cas replied with a hint of attitude. 

"Must've been one hell of an apology, though." Gabe mused. Looking up as Cas ignored him, turning to his computer and logging in, he caught sight of several picture frames on a low storage cabinet within reach, and picked one up. 

In the photo, Cas and Dean sat close together on the front steps of the home, with Claire, Ben, and Nick gathered around. 

"Who took the picture?" Gabe asked, turning the frame to face Cas. 

"My daughter's boyfriend. He did some sort of editing to it as well, he's very talented." 

"You know this screams 'white picket fence,' right?" 

"It should, we were facing one." 

Gabe nodded, "Good. It suits you. You use to be kinda lonely and awkward." 

"I can't imagine why." Cas replied dryly. 

"Admit it, though, after the millionth time you got called a tree-fucker, coming out as gay should've been small potatoes, right?" 

"The door is over there." 

"You guys registered anywhere? Picked out a china pattern?" 

"Gabe..." 

"I gotta talk to the kid, still. You and your boy-toy okay with that?" 

"If Ben wants a parent present, I'll be here." Cas replied, "But I'll warn you, he's having a rough week. His dog tore up a rabbit, and despite his best efforts, we buried it yesterday." 

Gabe took another look at the family photograph before he set it down, "So, this chuckle-head-" 

"Dean." 

"Dean, yeah... He loves these kids as much as you do? Both of them?" 

"Yes." 

Gabe nodded, "Good. Well, if I don't get an invite, we'll just tell anyone who asks, that I was in Vegas that weekend." 

Cas nodded absently, staring at the screen as Gabe left the room. 

* * *

Linda opened the door cautiously at Kevin's call to come in, and found him rearranging the location of his bedroom furniture. 

"When did the tornado hit?" 

"Um..." Kevin started, but then gave a shrug. 

"My sister's going to visit her in-laws, but if we have Thanksgiving over here, it's an obvious choice if Margaret's parents want to cause problems. We need a plan." 

"Okay, so we do it across the street." 

"Make sure everyone's on board with that. I don't want to intrude." 

"It's not intruding, mom, they love you." 

"It's not me I'm worried about." 

A chuckle burst from his lips, "It's cool. Or, it will be. I think Samandriel and Claire are going to be at her dad's house, though." 

Linda nodded, and looked over the room again, "Okay, what is this? Why are you moving everything?" 

"Making space for a pack and play." 

"Have you two sorted out a schedule, or anything?" 

"Uh, no. But she's gonna need breaks sometimes, and it's not like we're living together." 

Linda rolled her eyes, "You need a more solid plan than a spot to put him down for a nap when you're babysitting." 

"Okay, first, I don't want to hear that word again, you would be doing that, but me, that's my son, I'm his father, I'm gonna be taking care of my kid, not watching him for his real parent. Second, the plan right now is priorities. I have to make space for my kid now, in case other stuff gets in the way and I don't have time later." Kevin shoved against the side of his dresser, pushing toward a far wall. 

"Is Margaret nesting, too?" 

Kevin looked around the room, surveying the disarray, "...That's what this is?" 

"Yeah." 

"Oh... I don't know, her room is a lot bigger, she won't need to move stuff, but Alfie said she could use one of the other rooms for the baby, too, so... I don't know. There's a couple of empty dressers, though, and she got a couple of packs of onesies and some blankets." 

"Right... What about a crib? A solid, sturdy one, for when he starts climbing out, like his father? Hopefully one that can turn into a toddler bed and a full size one later?" 

"Didn't you keep mine?" 

"Of course I did, but it was a drop-side crib, they don't even make them like that anymore, because they're a deathtrap. You need something recent, a few years old, so any recalls are out of the way. And no lead paint." Linda replied, "I'll buy it, any kind she wants to get. I'm behind on the grandma stuff anyway." 

"Okay, I'll see what she wants to do, but there's a bunch of safety studies and stuff she'll want to go over before she goes shopping with you. It might take a while." 

"Good. I wouldn't want her buy the first piece of crap that looks cute." 

Linda picked up a stuffed bear with the tags still on. The eyes and nose were embroidered into the fabric. She held it up as he turned around from shirting a nightstand. 

"What?" Kevin asked, "He's gonna need that." 

"This is more of a priority than figuring out a visitation schedule in case you two have another fight?" 

"We are not gonna have another fight. We just aren't. Everything is perfect, now. We just need to make sure we're keeping things copacetic, focus on the baby-" 

Linda shook her head, "Balance. Meet the baby's needs, then handle relationship stuff, then after that, worry about the baby. Too many people fall for that 'all about the baby' crap, and the relationship tanks. If you want this, well, whatever you have going on, to last, that has to be a priority." 

Kevin gave her a blank look, "Okay, one more time, but this time, small words." 

"Dump your kid on people twice a month and have a real date." 

"Okay... Oh, shit..." 

"Yeah, that's what I thought you'd say, I don't think you two have gone out since you got back together, except for Halloween... Take her out while you can, because once the baby's here, you're both going to be exhausted." 

* * *


	34. Chapter 34

* * *

Dean walked up to the door, bracing himself, and knocked. 

Margaret answered, and from the look on her face, she'd been expecting to find someone else. She brightened considerably, "Hey, what's up?" 

"Needed to talk to Claire, in person. Is she home?" 

The words had slipped out, it wasn't at all what he meant to say, and it hurt to feel the disconnect. It hurt him, and it hurt him on Cas' behalf that he'd acknowledged it, but all the same, it felt true. 

"Yeah, c'mon in." 

Margaret led the way through the large, open house to the living room, where Claire was sitting on the couch, still in her pajamas, watching television. 

"Partying all night like a typical college student?" Dean asked, trying to sound cheerful. 

"No, just didn't have any classes today. not since my two p.m. got canceled." Claire said. There was a sound in her voice that echoed of someone barely hanging on, and he was sure she was hiding it as best she could. 

"I've got a backlog at the shop, I need you on the schedule." 

Claire laughed sharply, "Right, great idea. I'm just going to be in the way, and you know it." 

"You're not." 

"If I go in to work, I'm going to be more of a danger to myself, and other people, and I'm not doing that." 

Dean pointed at her, "That is exactly what I need right now." 

"A danger? An accident waiting to happen? Why? Who are you trying to get killed?" 

"No," Dean answered, gesturing to her, "You're right, you're a lame-duck, and being in the garage is a bad idea. Horrible, even. You can't be in the garage like that. But you see the risks of it, and you aren't scared to call me out. Now, we need as many of these rush tune-ups out of the way as possible before people start making trips to see family, breaking down while coming through town traveling, we need everyone who can do it out in the bays, which means somebody has to be at the desk, making the phonecalls, getting the customers coming in to pick up as soon as possible, and ordering parts as-needed instead of waiting for the end of the day, and maybe not getting it done at all." 

"You're serious." 

"Yeah, I'm serious. When the boss has to get out there and take on the lion's share of the grunt-work, second-in-command needs to cover the paper-pushing for the boss. I've already got Ivan and Randy pulling overtime." 

Claire held up both hands, "So, exactly how is this gonna work?" 

"I got a headset for the phone, you only need one finger to dial. Typing left-handed, well, hunt and peck, but slow-going is still better than nothing." 

"Gonna change my name tag to 'jackass' while you're at it?" 

Dean shifted, "Claire, you gotta get back on the horse. I hate desk work too, but it's part of the business, and you're a big part of this little company we got, here. Between Margaret and Alfie, you probably won't have to even think about getting a ride, but we need everybody right now, and... And, I think even if you're out of the garage, you're still gonna make everything run smoother, even if it's just giving orders if I need to step out. Maybe I'm not good about saying it, but I've got a lot of respect for you, kiddo. And the employees you manage, they respect you, too." 

"So, um," Margaret said quietly from the edge of the room, "Where's that leave me?" 

"I got overtime for you, if you want it. We're drowning in it." Dean answered. 

Claire turned and looked back over the couch, "Any classes today, or are you going in?" 

Margaret had just stuffed... something in her mouth. It seemed as though she was always eating, at this point, "I'm going in." 

* * *

"Hey, Ben." Jack said, making Ben jump. 

"Dude, what?" Ben asked turning around. 

Jack shrugged, "You guys traveling for Thanksgiving break?" 

"No, we got family coming here. My dad's shop is booked solid. What's up?" 

"Trey's got a plan for something that's gonna be awesome. He said he's gonna give you another chance." Jack said quietly. 

"Give me another chance? You guys tricked me-" 

"Shh!" Jack hissed as a teacher walked past, "Listen, when we get to social studies, follow my lead. I got an extra one for you in my backpack." 

Ben followed after him, "Extra what?" 

"Just trust me!" Jack stressed, ducking into the classroom. 

Ben took his usual seat behind Jack, and soon, Xander came in looking disoriented. As he passed Jack, Jack dug into his backpack and let Xander grab something large and dark, something flexible, and Xander quickly stuffed it under his shirt before taking his seat. 

Looking down, Ben toed at the open zipper of Jack's backpack, and smiled as everything clicked into place. 

* * *

"So..." Hannah Rowland asked, looking at the five gas masks sitting on her desk, "Where did these come from?" 

The four boys kept silent. 

"These are heavy duty military equipment, and possibly antiques. I'm going to have to return them." 

Jack shifted, "You could give them back to us. We've got one more class with Curtis, we're gonna need them." 

"Why is that?" 

"Chemical warfare. I saw him eat like, two-" 

"Three." Trey corrected. 

"Three bean burritos at lunch. We're trying to learn, not die." Jack said confidently. 

To his other side, Ben could detect a strangled wheeze coming from Xander, but he tried to keep his face steady. 

"The whole thing with the dress-code is no masks so teachers know who's who, right?" Jack asked, "Well, we had already sat down, she knew it was us. So, we should be fine. The real problem is, how do we ban bean burritos?" 

"Jack, is this supposed to be funny?" 

"No ma'am, it's gross." Jack replied. 

Trey spoke up, "Yeah, like, so nasty your eyes start to water and it burns inside your nose so you can't breathe. We can't pay attention, it just stinks so bad." 

The wheeze had become a snorting cough, and Ben reached over, patting Xander on the back firmly, "Hey, are you okay? Can you breathe?" 

"Okay, seriously," Trey said, sitting up taller and pointing to Xander, "It wasn't the head injury that did this, it was the long term exposure to Curtis' mustard-gas explosions-" 

"He puts mustard on his burritos?" Jack interrupted. 

Hannah shook her head, "That's not what mustard gas is-" 

"And this is what happens." Trey continued vehemently, "He sits the closest to Curtis, he's suffering the worst. You gotta give us back the gas masks so we can survive." 

"You don't need gas masks to survive social studies." Hannah said cooly. 

"It's not just regular gas, ma'am." Jack started in again, "It's like the orange gas they dropped in the war." 

"Which war?" 

"The nuclear one? You know, the one old people are always talking about? We dropped nukes on Russia or something?" 

Hannah shook her head slowly, "None of that ever happened." 

Trey slapped Jack lightly on the arm, "See? I told you, if we had the masks on we could learn this stuff." 

"I know! I thought that's why Russia was cold! Nuclear winter because of the bombs." Jack replied. 

Ben was choking on air as Xander's laughing had turned into a hard, silent shake, "Xander?" 

Hannah quickly leaned down in front of him and took his cheek to get a good look into his eyes, "Xander? This isn't funny. Are you laughing or having a seizure?" 

"I'm telling you, it's the mustard gas!" Trey insisted loudly as Xander burst out laughing, giving a controlled push at Hannah's hand. 

Ben was starting to lose it, and wiped at his eyes as Hannah stood up again, completely at a loss. 

The door opened slowly with a knock, and seeing the four boys and the gas masks on the desk, Cas slipped inside, motioning for Hannah to continue, and stayed at the back of the room. 

"Gentlemen, this is unacceptable. You know perfectly well that you cannot wear a gas mask in class, no matter what your classmates have been eating. You were causing a distraction to the entire class, that's why you were sent to the office." Hannah said firmly, "Furthermore, these masks could easily scare people. Now while I appreciate you not calling out your friend in the middle of class, as that would be bullying, and so far, no one has gotten hurt with your little prank, it ends now... Now, who am I returning these masks to?" 

Trey raised his hand close to his face, "My uncle runs the Army Surplus over near Bridgeway. They were in a box in my garage." 

"Your mother can pick them up, and if all four of you can get through the day without further incident, we will let this go. Is that understood?" Hannah asked, surveying their faces. 

A chorus of 'yes, ma'am's' echoed, and she gestured to the door, the boys getting up to file out, a bit of a stagger in Xander's step. 

The door closed behind them, and Cas looked up, meeting Hannah's face as she pursed her lips and shook her head slowly. 

"What was that?" Cas asked. 

"That was the most drawn-out fart joke I have ever seen." Hannah replied, stifling a chuckle. 

Cas nodded, "Middle school..." 

"They were very dedicated to their performance, I must admit. But they startled Mrs Ellington. We can't have a bunch of children wandering around in gas masks like a Doctor Who cosplay." 

"You handled it well... Sometimes the clowns can be worse than the bullies." Cas remarked, "Have you had any contact with Gabriel Adams?" 

"The principal from the elementary...? Yes. We spoke yesterday." 

Cas nodded, "I'm sure you're well aware why." 

"You acted appropriately, Cas. She had no business pushing her personal beliefs on an impressionable child. You may have felt it a bit deeper, because he's family, but you approached it from the point of an educator. You didn't overstep." 

"Thank you." 

Hannah nodded, and Cas turned to leave. 

* * *

He volunteered... She didn't ask him, she had planned to take Cyndi to the diner with her as she always did these days, but it was Ivan's day off. 

Through the entire shift, half distracted, and wanting to call and check in, Julie continued to remind herself, Ivan had been the one to suggest it. He'd told her how he'd helped out with various cousins' children, and Cyndi had even taken to pestering him with that blasted book about trains that Julie had grown sick of reading, but even so, she was anxious. 

She'd been able to take on far more at the diner, and she'd been able to fake a cheerful demeanor for far longer than her average days, and best of all, she wasn't as tired, but the nervous feeling didn't leave her until she slipped in the front door quietly, well aware that it was right in the middle of usual time for Cyndi's pre-dinner nap. 

Ivan stood in the middle of the living room, shirtless and barefoot, his medium length hair loose, but creased where it had been tied back earlier in the day. Cyndi was asleep on his shoulder with a toy car in her hand, rocking gently as he moved, doing his best to sweep the hard faux-wood floor with a broom in only one hand. 

He turned slowly at the sound of the door, giving her a quick smile, and Julie was absolutely certain she now understood what a friend called 'exploding ovary syndrome.' 

"How'd it go?" she asked in a whisper. 

Ivan shrugged slightly with his unoccupied shoulder, "She slipped getting off the chair after she ate, wouldn't let me put her down. But she's sniffling again, so, maybe there's too much dust, I don't know. Can you take her? I wanna check the air filter on the furnace." 

In a careful, complicated dance, they both shifted the sleeping child, closely resembling a bag of potatoes, to Julie's shoulder, and with the feel of Ivan's skin against her hands, she mentally confirmed her previous suspicion of ovary decimation. 

Ivan headed toward the bedroom behind the kitchen as Julie bounced Cyndi softly to settle a sleepy fuss at being disturbed before heading in the opposite direction to set her down. 

With a little patience and care, she was able to get Cyndi transferred to the middle of the bed, and slipped out of the room. She found Ivan in the hallway, a large grate removed from the top of the furnace, and pulling out a large rectangle coated in blanketlike layer of dust. 

"I probably should have done this sooner." he said quietly. 

"Yeah, that's a lot." Julie said with a nod. 

"I'm sorry," Ivan continued, setting it down on the floor, "I should've thought about this sooner, she's been breathing all this crap since we turned the heat on... I'm gonna run to the hardware store, grab a new one, see if they have a decent shop-vac, and try to get the vents cleaned out. If it's this bad, you know it's through the whole house." 

Julie waited as Ivan put the grate back on the furnace, slipping her hand across the back of his shoulders as he moved, secretly contemplating how much time she had before Cyndi woke up. The moment he let go of the furnace, she pulled him close, kissing him softly. 

"Um, Julie... " Ivan breathed, as he pulled back a bit, "I don't want you to think I'm not interested, but, we can't run this thing without a filter, so I need to go do that before the house gets too cold, so..." 

"Later?" 

"God, yes." Ivan said with a nod. 

* * *

In the darkness, Claire's eyes had adjusted well enough to make out Alfie's face as he slept. She rotated her left wrist gently, testing it with the brace off. It was still swollen, and it still hurt, but it was getting easier to move it. 

Between his absence and her injury, it had been weeks. She couldn't blame him for asking. Or was it offering? Whatever it was, he'd tried so delicately to initiate it, it had nearly killed her to turn him down. 

She'd been frustrated already while he was gone, but after losing most of the use of both hands, it had only gotten worse. She wanted nothing else, but was determined that nothing was happening until she had managed take a razor to the veritable forest she'd developed under her arms. 

She had tried to put it off by shifting his attention with a blowjob, but he'd tried to touch her, and it had turned into a back and forth game of him asking what was wrong, and her denying how badly she wanted him. It wasn't quite an argument, but they were both stressed, and desperate for each other. It was a disappointment all around. 

Turning to the nightstand, she considered the brace, and the possibility of putting it back on and making another go with the hairbrush. It was getting worse, she knew, but she'd still been able to hide it, and kept telling herself once she had a bit more flexibility, she would handle it... Immediately after the razor and Alfie, of course. 

Briefly, she considered ditching her clothes and waking him up, wondering if his hands would still wander the way they did if she was already ready to go, but he was sleeping peacefully, and she was tired. 

Surrendering, she rolled over, shoving the pillow up against the headboard, stretching out on her stomach, one knee to the side, getting the cast out of the way, her cheek pressed to the cool sheet below her. 

After about five minutes, as she was beginning to drift off, she felt Alfie reach for her. His face rested against her extended upper arm, and his leg came to rest over hers, his thigh firmly against her ass as his arm snaked around her. She could feel a rocklike hardness against her hip, and he gave a soft groan as it settled against her, only furthering her frustration. 

She rolled her eyes, "Complete fucking waste..." 

* * *

"Ben, this... Why... Where did you guys even get the masks?" Dean asked over a plate of pancakes. 

"Trey had them." 

"You know better. And why are you running with this kid, again? You just stopped helping at the bakery, and now you're already back at it." 

Ben shrugged, "It was really funny, though, and nobody got hurt." 

Dean shook his head, "Look, if you're blowing off steam after the whole rabbit thing-" 

"I'm fine." 

"That's a load of crap." 

"No it's not. I'm fine." 

"Okay... Let's get real for a second. I saw you trying to catch that squirrel last night. What was that about?" Dean asked. 

Ben shrugged, but kept silent. 

"Is that for one of these pranks?" Dean asked, watching Ben's face carefully, "Because there's goofing off that doesn't hurt anyone... or anything.. And then there's crossing the line. You bring a defenseless animal into it, well-" 

"It looked hungry." 

"It's a wild animal, Ben, it forages. And anyway, how would you know? I mean, how would a squirrel look hungry?" 

With another round of silence from Ben, Dean glanced at Cas, who only answered with a helpless look. 

"Okay, fine... Can't drag a conversation out of you, but I think you know the difference between right and wrong, and if you cross that line, Ben, it's gonna tear you up inside for years. You understand that?" 

Ben nodded. 

* * *

"Hey." Margaret said, switching windows to clock Ivan in, "You're late today." 

"Um, yeah... Stuff changing at home. Gotta get used to it." he replied, "So, the parking lot is getting full, I had to park by the stacks." 

"Yeah, we've got four customers coming in to pick up, and three we can't reach." 

Ivan nodded, "Listen, um, weird question, but, do you know anything about daycares?" 

Margaret's eyebrows went up, "Daycares? Like for babies and toddlers?" 

"Yeah. Like are there any really shitty ones to stay away from, or anybody that's good?" 

"Why would I know that?" 

"Um..." Ivan glanced around sheepishly before gesturing to her protruding belly. 

"Oh... Uh, I haven't really even thought about it. I guess I need to figure that out." Margaret said, suddenly painfully aware that at some point, she would need to make such plans. 

Ivan nodded, "Okay, well, good talk." 

"Wait a second, why would you need a daycare? You don't have any kids." 

"Yeah, well, my girlfriend has a kid, and, uh-" 

"Wow, and here I thought you were running off to be a rock star." Margaret shook her head, "Guess you're a really complicated guy, huh?" 

Ivan nodded, "I don't really know, okay? Just, a whole lot of changes at once, and Julie can't keep taking Cyndi with her-" 

"Julie? You're dating Julie?" 

"I'm living with Julie. And Cyndi. Just, they're in the other room, and... Look, if you find out anything, let me know, and I'll do the same, okay?" Ivan said, trying to drop the subject and escape to the garage, as the door swung open, and Lucas stepped inside. 

Lucas pretended to collapse on the open area of the desk, loudly mumbling a request that Margaret sign him in. 

"Done. Hung over?" Margaret asked. 

"Yep." 

"You know the rule." 

Lucas dragged himself upright, doing his best imitation of Dean, "Take your ass out to the yard and pull parts with a butterknife." 

Ivan watched Lucas stagger off before turning back to Margaret, "So, I don't know if she wants anyone to know, so, aside from just, y'know, keeping an eye out for daycare stuff, could you keep it quiet?" 

"Sure. Just, never saw that one coming. I mean, Alfie said something about you being good with kids, but, I just figured that was like, how to shut them up." 

Ivan rolled his eyes, "Okay, I am done with this conversation." 

"Sorry." 

Ivan headed for the bays, stopping in the doorway of Dean's office, only to find Claire at the desk wearing a headset and shuffling papers as best she could, speaking quickly. He shook his head and kept moving, finally tracking Dean down where he was searching the parts inventory. 

"Hey, Dean, I know we're swamped right now, but, um, we got any junkers that wouldn't take much work?" 

Dean looked up, "Something happen with your truck?" 

"No, just, somebody I know needs a car." 

Dean shrugged, "There's an old Vespa if they're desperate and just need a set of wheels." 

Ivan shook his head, "No, um, there's a car seat involved." 

"Julie?" 

"Yeah." 

Dean nodded, knowingly, "How's she doing?" 

"She's, um... She's good, she's, uh, trying to sort her life out, apart from her mom. Wants better for her kid, all of that." 

"Yeah, Claire said something about that a while ago... We got three or four Dodge Stealths out in the back end, you might be able to scrape something together. But they stopped making 'em after '96, so don't expect you're gonna find parts easy." Dean said, checking labels on boxes, "Might also be a Taurus with most of the parts... Let me know if you find something good, I'll help drag it out, but make sure the frame is in good shape, no wrecks, make sure it's solid. Of course, that's on breaks and after hours unless we get a slow day." 

"Yeah. Okay, thanks." Ivan answered. 

* * *

Neither Cas nor Dean were willing to question why Claire had decided to come home a few days before Thanksgiving, but Dean had noticed, and shared with Cas, that things had seemed fairly tense between her and Alfie. 

After some minor discussion over a family dinner, an invitation to Margaret, Kevin, and Linda had been extended, and Cas seemed happy to hear they'd have a fairly full house for the holiday. 

The evening of the last day of school prior to the holiday, Cas sat down at the dinner table, pretending everything was fine, until a lull hit the conversation. 

"Ben, do you know anyone who's a fan of Chuck Norris?" Cas asked. 

Finding the question rather absurd in nature, Dean looked concerned, and looked to Ben to watch for any hint of a flinch in his cheek, not knowing where this was going. 

"Sure, I guess. A few of the guys like Chuck Norris facts, even if it's kind of old. Millie likes the Mr T ones better. Kinda like yo-mama jokes." Ben answered. 

"Someone printed out several... Well, they look like Valentines, but with Chuck Norris on them, and put them in what looks to be random lockers today. Do you know anything about that?" 

Claire chuckled, "Chuck Norris Valentines for turkey-day? Damn, you guys are weird." 

Ben shook his head, "I have no idea what that's about." 

"Own up, Ben. It's funny." Claire replied. 

"Really. I had no idea until you told me." Ben answered, gesturing back to Cas, "But now, I wish I thought of it." 

"What do they look like?" Dean asked. 

"Like a heart-shaped picture of Chuck Norris, outlined in glitter glue. It's quite confusing, actually." Cas said quietly. 

Claire started laughing softly, but with a look at the confusion on her father's face, she lost it, "Chuck Norris Valentines?... Okay, keep this quiet, I just might pull this one at the shop, myself, for Christmas." 

* * *


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: This one was a fun chapter, and I actually kept a chart and took into consideration how many drinks, strength of the drinks, and body size/health to try to keep track of how inebriated everyone was.
> 
> More soon! And if anyone's been following along about my health stuff, I got a clean bill of heart-health on Friday, so, yay! Not dying!
> 
> Love you all! Thanks for Reading! FW)

* * *

"Ben?" Dean called as he went upstairs, "You straightened out your room, right? I don't want a mess if you drag somebody in here for video games." 

He was quickly distracted by a slamming sound in the bathroom, accompanied by hushed swearing. The door was cracked, and he stepped closer. 

"Claire?" 

"Yeah, what?" came the surly reply. 

"I dunno, but I'd rather learn to do eyeliner than have you poke out a cornea, so, what's going on?" 

The door opened further, "I've got a really bad tangle, okay?" 

Dean refused to back down despite Claire snapping at him, and made an effort to take it in stride, "So, you need help?" 

"I don't know, are you gonna yank off half my scalp?" 

"Lisa had long hair until it started falling out." Dean said, carefully taking his time stepping into the room, picking up the brush from where she'd tossed it on the counter, "She wanted to keep it for as long as she could, until it started getting patchy, which meant trying not pull on the roots. And she'd get too tired to brush it sometimes, so, yeah, I actually know what I'm doing." 

"Sorry." 

"I get it, you haven't had it easy. Probably something to do with it, since otherwise you probably would have had Margaret or Alfie handle it, right?" 

"Something like that." Claire muttered as Dean picked up the length of her locks while standing to the side of her, knowing how much she hated having anyone behind her. He picked at the ends with the brush until he could work the brush in further up. 

"You know, you wait too long with this kind of thing, it's gonna turn into one long dreadlock." Dean commented. 

"How's your face?" 

"Is that supposed to be a threat?" 

"No, I actually want to know." 

"You put a tiny little crack in the bone. But they didn't have to wire my jaw shut, so at least I can talk enough to give you hell for it." 

Claire was quiet for a moment before she spoke again, and he barely made out her words in the quiet room, "I don't remember hitting you." 

"It's okay." 

"It's not okay. And I'm sorry... Nobody should be able to do that much damage to somebody on accident." Claire replied. 

"They found another fracture when they did the x-ray," Dean paused, pointing at a spot above his eye, not far from his hairline, "Long time ago, not your fault... When I was a kid, my dad hit me with a beer bottle, broke it, knocked me out, had a big bruise." 

"Why the hell would he do that?" Claire asked in horror. 

"Because he was a walking piece of shit. It happens... Ben has something of an idea, but, he doesn't need to know how bad it got... It was hell... But it's a lot different when somebody's trying to hurt you than when it happens on accident. And I know, it can be hard to handle anybody messing with you after somebody has gone out of their way to hurt you, but nobody here wants that... Get somebody to braid this before you go to sleep, and you might be able to manage it by yourself in the morning." 

* * *

Sam and Jess arrived while the parade was still on, and a little later, Alfie showed up with his bike. Ben begged for a ride, but Dean was adamant that the only way Ben was getting on a motorcycle was if he, himself were riding, and then only with Ben in a correctly fitted helmet. 

Kevin, Margaret, and Linda all rode together, and in no time, Linda and Jess were in the kitchen cracking jokes with Cas. 

Dean dragged Kevin and Margaret into a conversation with Sam that culminated in a family law horror story from his personal experience, and ended with an appointment to go over a custody and visitation agreement in January. 

Lucas, having no family in the state, showed up eventually, as well, and despite his apologies, had been welcomed just the same. 

The actual dinner in the early afternoon turned out exactly as Cas had hoped, a full table, full hearts, and a festive group enjoying each other's company. 

But as with all joyous holidays, it came to a close. Lucas had slipped out and headed home, but not until Cas had foisted enough leftovers on him for both Lucas and his roommate. Linda, who had enjoyed herself thoroughly, Kevin, and Margaret had headed out as it was getting close to sundown. 

Dean jokingly suggested making another run at the leftover pies, and Sam had made a cryptic remark about fried chicken and their father passed out on the couch, leading to Dean shooting him a warning glance, and jerking his head toward Ben. Claire had a distinct feeling she knew the meaning behind the gesture. 

Jess had talked Cas into a second glass of wine, as everyone continued to chat and make rounds picking at the leftovers with talk of setting up a board game, but then, the happy occasion began to unravel. 

"So much for not drinking for a while." Claire said softly. Cas had heard it, and despite her lighthearted tone, the guilty look in his eyes said everything. 

"It's been a while. A second glass isn't a big deal." Dean suggested. 

Alfie cleared his throat, and looked at Ben, unsure whether he ought to drag him upstairs for video games, or suggest another look at the bike outside. 

"Yep. Not a big deal." Claire said with a shrug. 

Cas set his glass down, "So you're finally willing to have this discussion?" 

"Not really." Claire said dryly. 

Sam turned to Dean, where they'd been sitting, having a conversation in their own little world, "So, is this...?" 

"Yeah." Dean answered quickly. 

"Might be time to head out, then." Jess said quietly, trying to catch Dean's eye, and putting a hand on Ben's shoulder. 

Sam chuckled, "No way. They need your family's drinking game, get this over with." 

Dean, who was apparently in on whatever was happening, nodded, "Might sort this out." 

"'Moore Family Therapy' doesn't fix everything," Jess said, "Especially if alcohol is a problem to start with." 

"No, trust me," Sam answered, "I think I heard enough on this one." 

Dean turned to Claire, "You got any painkillers in your system right now?" 

"Not since last night." Claire answered, "Why?" 

Sam nodded, "Okay, this should be fun. Dean, you want to set it up?" 

"Can you at least fill me in on what's going on?" Jess asked. 

"It'll come out." Sam replied, before turning to where Dean had walked into the kitchen, "Dean? Are we all in this?" 

"Yep!" Dean called back in reply. 

Jess shook her head, "No, I'll moderate. Leave me out." 

Cas looked to Sam, "What is this?" 

Jess directed everyone to the cleared dining room table, "We'll go over the rules in a minute, but basically it's a controlled version of getting hammered and getting everything out in the open while you're in a forgiving mood." 

Cas got up from the couch as Alfie tried to pass him, headed toward Claire and the door. 

"Um, this seems like a family thing, maybe I should-" 

"Don't be ridiculous." Cas said, taking a firm grip on his shoulder and turning him around. 

"Oh. Okay." Alfie replied shyly, complying quickly, not sure what else he could do. 

"Ben? No booze, you can sit in for the first three rounds, then you're upstairs." Jess explained, "You're too young for the major leagues." 

"Lame." Ben replied, taking a seat. 

"Trust me," Jess said, "After a while, you're gonna hear stuff you won't want to know." 

Dean came back from the kitchen with several glasses, a couple of liquor bottles, and one of the three-liter bottles of soda from the fridge in the garage, and Sam helped him unload onto the table. 

"Okay, starts with everybody takes a drink, right?" Sam asked. 

"Yeah," Jess said, passing out glasses, "A sip is fine, a weak drink is fine, a shot is fine, I'm hoping everybody knows their limits... Hang on, how old are you?" 

"Twenty." Alfie replied. 

"And drinking for some time now, if I've heard correctly." Cas commented, "Dean, make sure he gets something strong. The good stuff." 

"Sam?" Jess asked. 

"State law, dear. They can serve him as long as he doesn't leave until he's sober." Sam replied. 

"Right, okay... Everybody got something?" Jess asked, looking around to confirm it, "Okay. So, my great grandpa would actually say a prayer, like saying grace over a meal, but we kind of cut that part short. Just so long as everybody understands and agrees, we aren't sitting down to be hurtful, we're gonna try to get some stuff out, and bring everybody closer together." 

"Amen!" Sam chuckled deeply, which was echoed by Dean, and they each did a shot as Ben took a gulp of his soda, Claire hit her spiked glass of soda finding it too weak for her liking, and Alfie and Cas followed suit. 

"Okay, first round." Jess said, reaching for one of the bottles to top up the glasses at her end of the table as Dean was doing the same, "Keep these full... Everybody seems pretty stressed out, so we're going to start with Ben, get him out of here faster." 

"Hey!" Ben protested. 

"Ben," she continued without acknowledging his protest, "For your turn, you can pick anybody at the table, and you can either say something nice about them and make them take a drink, say something you have a problem with concerning them and you take a drink, or ask them a question, in which case, they have to tell the truth, and you both drink." 

"Okay," Ben said, smirking at his options and looking around the table, "This is actually really hard. Um, I pick Uncle Sam. Uh, I think it's really cool that we get to hang out and do fun stuff, and I'm really glad I get to spend more time with you guys since you moved closer." 

"Something nice, Sam has to drink." Jess said, "Okay, next up, Dean, your turn. Remember, something nice, they drink, problem, you do, question, both." 

"Yeah, okay, uh... Cas." Dean gestured to the other end of the table. 

"Oh, this should be good." Claire muttered. 

"Problem," Dean continued, "You're working out too much, and you're gonna make me look crappy in the wedding pictures." 

With a quick round of laughter, Cas shrugged with a smile and Dean took another shot, "Nothing's stopping you from doing the same, you know." 

"Sam, your turn." Jess said over continuing chuckles. 

"Okay, uh, I pick Claire. Claire, I know I'm not around you as much, but, from what I've heard from Ben, um, and Dean, you're a great kid, and I think it's great that Dean's finally getting a daughter, and I'm gonna be proud to be your uncle." 

"Thanks." Claire replied, picking up her glass and taking a swig, "So, I guess I'm up... Ben, I gotta know, were you telling the truth when you said Trey made that kid swallow a live minnow? Or did you make that up? Because it sounds like a load of crap." 

Ben nodded, "He did. And the kid really swallowed it." 

"Okay, both of you." Jess said, pointing, "Cas, your turn." 

Cas nodded, and had his response ready immediately, with a hint of something misleading in his expression that Claire couldn't place, "Alfie. You're an incredible artist." 

"Thanks, Cas." Alfie replied, reaching for his glass. 

"In fact," Cas continued, "I'd like to see your work more often, but if you have any online galleries or anything, I haven't seen them." 

"Dad." Claire said in a slightly warning tone, thinking back to the discussion about the poster. 

"Um, my turn?" Alfie asked, receiving a nod from Jess, "Okay, Dean. We're not at work, so it's not insubordination - for every time you called me a jackass, 'takes one to know one.'" 

"Ooooh, judges?" Sam asked, looking to Jess after getting a laugh at Dean's expression. 

"Definitely confrontational, drink up, Alfie." Jess said with a laugh, "Okay, Ben." 

"Okay, I got a question. Cas... How did you figure out you didn't like girls?" 

A chorus of mild protest circled the table, but Cas put a hand up, "No, no, that is a completely acceptable question... I, uh... I went to pick up my date for a formal dance, and her father, who, let's face it, he was very handsome, he pulled me aside, and he said, 'Anything you do to her, I'm gonna do to you.'" 

Sam burst out laughing, and Dean chuckled, shaking his head as Cas continued. 

"Now, this had the opposite affect of what he was going for, and even though I gave her a peck on the cheek right in front of him when I brought her home, well, no luck." 

Ben looked quite satisfied with his answer and took a drink as Cas did the same. 

"Okay," Dean said, "Sam." 

"Yep." Sam replied quickly, sitting next to him. 

"I got nothing, so I'm just gonna say, you're a bitch." Dean said with a chuckle, picking up his glass. 

"And you're a jerk." Sam replied cheerfully, picking up his own, "Claire's turn." 

The two brothers took their shots with a chuckle, as Jess shook her head, "I don't know what that was, but you guys do it again, and you're both out, you got that?" 

"Got it." they echoed. 

Claire nodded, "Okay... Ben, what do you want to be when you grow up?" 

This got Dean's attention, and he looked over to where Ben had picked up his glass. 

"I'm gonna be a veterinarian." Ben said confidently. 

"That's a stressful line of work, buddy." Dean commented as Claire and Ben each took a drink. 

"Yeah, but, the hardest part is if they die, right? And I can deal with that. Like that rabbit. It was Nick's fault, but it's okay. So, I can treat animals, take care of them, and never have to watch them do all the stupid stuff people do, like eating junk food and smoking, and not taking their medications, and I'll also be able to help out people if it's an emergency, like you do. Anyway, it's Cas' turn." 

"Right, okay." Cas said, "Claire... I'm very proud of you." 

"Bullshit." Claire replied softly, her expression neutral as she picked up her glass. 

Dean caught it as Jess shot Sam a knowing look. 

"I am." 

"Yeah, except when I screw up, right?" Claire asked, draining what had been a half full glass before reaching for a bottle of flavored rum. 

"Woah, hold on." Sam, who was sitting next to her, took her glass and passed it to Dean, who mixed another weak drink for her. 

"Dean, be realistic." Cas said, motioning to the bottle he held. 

"I am being realistic, she's scrawny and she's recovering." Dean argued. 

Claire shrugged, "Don't get bitchy at him, dad, he's trying to help." 

Cas spread his hands helplessly and turned to Alfie. 

"Oh... uh... Okay. Cas... Most of the time, you're really cool, but occasionally, you scare the shit out of me." 

Unfazed, Cas looked up to Jess, standing next to the table, "Who drinks for that one?" 

"It was confrontational, he does." 

Cas shrugged, "It could have been a compliment." 

Alfie took a shot, putting an end to the discussion. 

"Well," Cas said, "In that case, I'll just say, it's my job." 

Claire rolled her eyes as Jess turned to Ben, but Dean interjected, "What? I don't scare you?" 

"You?" Sam laughed, "Great big teddy bear, I don't think so." 

"Ben? Last one for you, okay?" Jess said, correctly assessing that the adults at the table were beginning to get more personal. 

"Okay. Dad, how come you and mom didn't have any kids after me?" 

A look of stifled sadness and pain crossed Dean's face, and he drank, setting his glass down, as Sam, who'd gone fairly serious himself, reached for the bottle his brother had been working on. 

"Uh... Well, you know we weren't planning on having you, you were a surprise... So, we had a lot to catch up on. Making a home, making sure you had what you needed, and that we could handle it, we did that first, and then, later on, when things settled down, well, that's when we started talking about maybe having another baby. We wanted to do things, well, I'm not gonna say 'right,' but, in order, make sure we had a bigger emergency fund, started looking for places with another bedroom, and she went to the doctor to see if she needed to do anything to get healthier before we started trying for another baby... You were six... That's when they found out she had cancer. She wasn't even due for a check up for another four months, and all that planning, and them finding it early, and getting her into treatment right away, that probably got us an extra year with her, because between finding it, and starting treatment, it grew fast." 

"So, you guys were planning to have more kids?" 

"Yeah." Dean nodded, "But, hey, we got you, and you're really great. I wouldn't change that at all." 

A hush fell over the room, a quiet acknowledgement of their loss, and Dean straightened up, "So... My turn, or is this where we send Ben off to his room?" 

"I think I'm gonna go upstairs anyway." Ben said quietly, "It's kinda getting weird." 

Dean nodded, but as Ben got up, he leaned in and gave Dean a quick hug. Jess patted his shoulder as he walked past, heading for the stairs. 

"Okay," Jess said, "Same pattern, so, Dean, still your turn." 

Dean nodded, taking a few deep breaths, and despite his brave partial smile, he was clearly composing himself. Jess sat down in Ben's now vacant chair, and poured a glass, reminding them all she wasn't playing, just getting comfortable. 

"Okay... Alfie... You... even though it really pisses me off that you had everything you needed to get your education just handed to you, and just, you freaking dropped, just, all of it... You still still turned out okay, I think. And you're not just running around blowing your trust fund, I respect that you're making something of yourself." 

Jess chuckled, "Okay, we're getting further into the game, because stuff is starting to combine. Dean, you have to drink for the first part, Alfie, you drink for the second. But this is good. This is the whole point." 

"Right, I'm up." Sam turned to Dean as Dean took a shot, wobbling in his chair slightly, "Dude, I gotta know. After dad kicked you out, did you, um, you ever try to see me?" 

"Yeah, of course I did. I went by your school a few times. I saw you, you didn't see me... I didn't want to get you in trouble at home." 

Having got the hang of the rules, they both drank, and Dean gestured to Claire. 

She seemed to give it some thought as she looked down at her glass before picking it up, "Dad... you might have been right, but the way you said it, you're an asshole." 

"I was wrong." 

"You weren't. You guys trusted me to watch him, and he got picked up by the cops. I dropped the ball. You were right. 'We're lucky he's still alive.'" Claire answered him, taking a drink. 

Finally, at the other end of the table, everything clicked into place. That had been the angry words Cas had started with that Dean didn't catch that night. The initial statement that had shocked and confused Claire so badly she'd been disoriented by everything Cas had said afterward. 

"Claire, I'm sorry." Cas said softly. 

"Don't be." Claire snapped, "Because, y'know, if I forgive you, then..." 

With a hitch in her breath, she angrily wiped at intrusive tears as she set her glass down harshly before continuing. 

"If I forgive you, then I have to forgive myself, and I can't do that." 

Sam forgot himself, having had several drinks, and took her shoulder firmly, unintentionally making her jump, "Hey, it's okay. Pretty much everybody gets picked up by the cops at some point, it's like a right of passage in this family. I mean, anyone here hasn't?" 

He looked around the table, and Alfie held a timid hand up. Sam looked from Alfie to Jess, who hadn't put up her hand, and gave a small shake of his head. 

"Okay, not who I expected... Anyway... Dean told me, you knew before they even put him in the car. You wouldn't have let him get kidnapped or anything. Right, Cas?" 

"Exactly." Cas said, reaching for her hand, "I was cruel to say what I did. Of course you wouldn't let anything happen to him, you care too much." 

Claire was very obviously struggling to piece together an argument, to put the words in order to tell him he wrong, but even while she was shaking her head at him, Cas took hold of her upper arm and pulled her from her chair, both of them clumsy from the alcohol. He attempted to be careful as he guided her around the corner of the table, pushing his chair back to pull her into his lap. 

Claire mumbled into his shoulder, something had sounded very strongly like, "I'm so fucking done with this bullshit." 

"So..." Dean said quietly, turning to Jess, "What now? Does that end the game?" 

Jess chuckled, "No. No, it's not over. But I'm sure it won't take much longer." 

"How do you know when it ends?" 

"You'll know." 

Alfie fidgeted with his glass, feeling awkward. He desperately wanted to comfort Claire, but his sense of self preservation strongly recommended staying out of Cas' personal space. 

"Dad, listen... I don't want to be here, okay? I'm sick of balancing back and forth, being expected to act like an adult, and treated like a child, and you and Dean arguing about it, so, I know, you wanted me here, but... If Dean'll let me, I want to move to Bobby's house." Claire said, still fighting back tears. 

"That's not what I wanted, but, I understand... I'll help any way I can." Cas said quietly. 

"And then, later on, the next round with the developers, for god's sake, just sell it already." 

Alfie's look immediately switched to one of surprise, "What?" 

"Claire, I'm not selling." Cas said softly, patting the back of her shoulders. 

"It doesn't matter, okay? The ranch sold. They'll make the county rezone it, so- Look, just get a good deal and then nobody has to worry about it anymore, okay?" 

"Claire?" Alfie asked, his voice quiet as he reached for her hand, "Um... Maybe I should have told you earlier, but... I bought the ranch." 

Claire looked up at him with a look of utter confusion, and he shrugged in response. 

"What the hell?... Why? 

"Um..." uncomfortable being put on the spot, he glanced around before his eyes returned to her face, "I, uh... You weren't happy about it, so... um... and I was bored, so..." 

Dean coughed, "Goddamn, I swear..." 

Sam was making a choking noise at Dean's reaction, and quickly calming himself, and trying to catch Jess' attention, "Honey?" 

"You were bored?" Claire asked, staring at Alfie in disbelief. 

"I-... Um, what is this?" Alfie asked, looking down into his glass. 

"Scotch." Cas answered gruffly, "Go on." 

Sam cleared his throat, but Jess shut him down with a shake of her head. 

"Uh-... I went to the owners, I said I'd give them twice what the developers were offering, and that I wanted to set up a small nature preserve, and, um, well, they love the place, they didn't want to see it paved, so... Most of it is going to be a park and nature preserve, like I told them." 

"So," Claire's voice was level, but irritated, "You're building that giant warehouse looking piece of shit down the hill?" 

"It was supposed to be a surprise... It's actually modeled after a manor-" 

"Okay, you can just shut it for now, okay? We'll talk about this later, but right now, I want you to stop talking." Claire snapped. 

"Okay." Alfie replied, still a bit confused. 

"Who's turn?" Sam asked. 

"Cas' turn." Jess said, gesturing to him. 

Cas shrugged, reaching around Claire for his glass, "All right, well, I'm running a little low, so, Alfie-" 

"Yeah?" 

"Just to be clear, there's no one good enough for my daughter. But, you do try." 

"Oh," Jess cooed, "That's sweet." 

"Yeah, you'd almost guess this kid hanging around his baby didn't completely chap his ass." Sam chuckled. 

"Something nice, though, Alfie, you have to take a drink." 

"Bullshit!" Dean said loudly from the other end of the table, "Cas, you gotta be honest, try that one again." 

Cas shot Dean a look, "Fine... I will admit, under the influence, and partially under duress, that, maybe, you are good enough for her. But make sure you keep it that way." 

"Dad," Claire asked, getting back to her own chair with a hint of a wobble as Alfie took another drink, "Are you trying to get him drunk?" 

"How else is he going to get me to tell him everything?" Alfie asked, "It's not like he has access to government level truth serums." Cas gave a small shrug, which Alfie caught, "Wait, what was that?... Do you?" 

Cas turned back to Alfie, "I believe it's your turn." 

After roughly an hour filled with far more talking than alcohol, Jess declared the game over, spurring a ten minute conversation of who was to be labelled the winner. Jess insisted everyone won, because no one had gotten angry enough to leave the table. 

The group had gotten a bit loud, and Jess was attempting to corral Sam, who had hugged everyone twice by this time, over to Bobby's, and Claire had forgotten what she'd planned to speak to Alfie about after the game. 

Cas put an arm around Alfie's shoulders as everyone moved through the living room, "Now, en ce qui vous concerne... du musst hier unten bleiben... Du kannst auf dem Sofa schlafen, weil ... well, because Dean's a prude." 

Not understanding the bulk of Cas' message, but certainly catching the last four words, Alfie looked at him in confusion, "Sorry, what?" 

"Couch." 

"Oh... Yeah, I kinda expected that." 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N2: Cas, scaring his daughter's boyfriend... "Now, [French] as far as you are concerned... [German] you have to stay down here. You can sleep on the sofa, because... [English] well, because Dean's a prude."
> 
> There were three languages flying around my ex's family gatherings, so while I speak one, and only understand about half of another, I can tell you, some people will switch back and forth without knowing it sometimes, and alcohol can cause that.)


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: So weird, but I'm currently writing December stuff in the middle of July, and it's wacky for me. Hope this finds everyone well.
> 
> Thanks for reading! FW)

* * *

Having temporarily traded vehicles with Lucas, Ivan did his best to get Cyndi's car seat strapped into the back seat safely, ignoring the feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach. 

He'd done his best to look as clean cut as possible, taken extra time on his hair and a fresh shave. Internally, however, he was squirming, and wondered if he'd feel less ridiculous in clown makeup and a tutu. 

Hearing the door close behind him, he stood up and turned to look as Julie, carrying Cyndi in a blanket, came down the porch stairs, and suddenly his crisp new shirt didn't feel quite as suffocating. 

"All set?" he asked. 

"Yeah. I locked the door... You look really nice." Julie said, moving to put Cyndi in the car. 

"I feel like a dweeb, but I'll take your word for it." Ivan said, waiting by the back door until she stood again, "You, though... You're gorgeous." 

Julie's mood lightened visibly, and he opened the front door of the car for her. 

Soon arriving at a medium sized house on the other side of town, Julie swore under her breath, "That's my mom's car..." 

"So, let's steal Lucas' ride, and drive out to L.A., gotta be better than this." 

"We can't." 

"Why not?" 

Julie ducked her head and grinned, "Okay, if this all goes to crap, we'll go with your plan." 

"That's all I'm asking." 

Julie's aunt seemed pleasant, her uncle was a bit more intense, and her fourteen year old cousin was doing his best not to be seen. If Ivan had to chose a word to describe the dinner, he would have easily picked 'stiff.' 

Julie's mother, however, was quiet, and only opened her mouth a few times when she could get a dig in. 

"So Julie tells me you work at Singer." her uncle said, turning to Ivan over the table. 

"Yeah, I do." 

"How long?" 

"A couple of years, now. It's a small company, but, it's a great place." 

Julie's mother scoffed, but her uncle ignored it, and continued, "I had them tow my car to the dealership once. That Winchester guy seems respectable." 

Ivan nodded and started to answer, but Julie's mother cut him off, "Very respectable. Accuses underage girls of being sexual predators." 

Julie's face was beginning to turn red, and Ivan wasn't sure if he should respond, but her aunt spoke up, "Oh, that's right, you worked there for a bit, right? Is that how you two met?" 

"Oh, no, I didn't start until after Julie left." Ivan said, "We met through a mutual friend." 

"Oh, that's nice." her aunt responded, "Anyone I know?" 

"Claire Novak." Ivan said, thinking back to Claire's words when she'd introduced them, calling Julie a bitch, and giving a short description of her actions involving Alfie, and trying to find a way to sugar coat it, "Julie wasn't having a very good day, we were out running errands for the shop, and Julie needed a ride. Claire insisted, and I'm glad she did." 

"Well, we would have met eventually, as often as you come to the diner to pick up the shop order." Julie said quietly. 

Ivan shook his head, "That used to be the new guy's job, actually, until I started volunteering for it so I could come say hi." 

"Serious?" Julie asked, a smile starting to take over her face. 

"So, Claire's that triple-C, right?" Julie's cousin asked with a smirk. 

Julie rolled her eyes, "Claire's a nice person, and we used to have our differences, but even with all of that, she always tips well." 

"It's probably passive-aggressive, honey," Julie's mother spoke up, "Showing off, trying to make it look like she makes more than you. Maybe you'd see that, if you hadn't dropped out of high school." 

Julie didn't answer, and Ivan wasn't sure how to respond, but Julie's uncle spoke again, "So, long term plans, Ivan, anything big on the horizon for you? Maybe night classes?" 

Ivan shrugged, "Music, actually." 

"Oh? What do you play?" Julie's aunt asked with a smile. 

"Well, my main instrument is guitar, I can play bass, but it's not really my favorite, and with a lot of practice, I can stumble through some piano." 

"That's nice. So are you in a band, then?" her tone had changed slightly, Ivan noticed, she was bit less impressed. 

"I've played with several bands in the area, but I actually just got back from a trip to Austin. There's a company that makes demo tapes, backing tracks, even advertising jingles, they need some unknowns to fill those out, and I gave them a few days of my time, they offered me a choice of a check or a tiny piece of the percentage." 

"So, royalties? You do the work once, and if it sells well, more checks come in?" Julie's uncle asked. 

"Yeah. This one song sounded particularly good, so that's the option I took." 

"How does that work with your day-job?" he asked, "I mean, if you don't mind me asking, what keeps the rent paid while you're out of town? What if you're gone too long, and get fired, or evicted?" 

"Well, I'm a home owner, so, as long as the taxes are paid, that's not going to happen. But as for Singer, my boss is very supportive. He even brought his fiance out to see the Led Zeppelin cover band I played with last year." 

Julie's cousin chuckled, "Julie's a groupie." 

Julie's aunt was chiding him, but her mother was chuckling and smiling, clearly enjoying watching Julie squirm. 

"And do they drug-test at Singer?" Julie's uncle asked, making the room fall silent. 

Ivan met his eyes with a hard look, "Of course they do. Any respectable business does." 

"Cyndi's going to need a nap soon," Julie said softly, "So we really can't stay much longer." 

"I heard a rumor about you, Ivan. Any truth to it?" her uncle asked. 

Ivan didn't look away, "Depends on which rumor." 

"Drug conviction." 

"Yeah, that's true. But if you ever want the whole story, you're welcome to come over and talk about it, because right now, we need to get home." 

"I might take you up on that." he said, a hint of a threat in his tone. 

"I hope you do, sir, because I'd love to put this behind us." Ivan said decisively, standing, and offering his hand. 

Julie's uncle returned his handshake firmly, and Ivan was careful to scoop up Cyndi's diaper bag on the way to the front door, quickly taking the blanket set on top and covering Cyndi with it as Julie joined him. 

The whole ride home was quiet, and Julie, having received exactly the treatment she'd expected, was able to hold it together perfectly fine until the front door closed behind them. 

"Mama sad?" Cyndi asked, making Ivan look up from where he'd set the diaper bag and car seat down. 

"No, I'm okay." Julie answered, wiping away a tear. 

Cyndi put her arms around Julie's neck anyway, her tiny fingers making a clumsy patting motion. Ivan stepped closer, wrapping his arms around both of them. 

* * *

Alfie woke to the feeling of fingertips in his hair moments before Claire climbed over the back of the couch, landing on his lower legs. 

"Oh, shit..." Alfie muttered at being shaken. 

"Hungover?" 

"Yeah... You're not?" Alfie asked, "Seemed like you were getting your fair share last night." 

"It was weak, though. So, you wanna tell me what the hell that was last night? You bought a fucking ranch because you were bored and started building a damn mansion for kicks?" 

Alfie cleared his sore, dry throat and tried to get a little more comfortable, despite a kink in his neck, "The last time those developers tried to talk to your dad, you were growling at everybody for a week. I bought it, no more developers, no more Growly McNiceass." 

"But you didn't tell me." 

"What was I supposed to say? Seriously, Claire, how do you tell someone that?... 'Guess what? I put in a call to my uncle and said, 'hey, have the family corporation drop a couple mil on this chunk of space' so, tah-dah.' I mean, I was going to tell you, eventually." 

"Oh, you were going to tell me? When?" 

Alfie cleared his throat again, and sat up, miserable, but coping, "If I tell you, you're going to shut me up like you do every time, but I swear to you-" 

"Not this again." 

"It was a vision of the future." 

"It was a dream." 

"To you. That's fine. You don't have to believe me." Alfie said, his voice growing a little less raspy with use, "Someday. It's gonna happen. For right now, I have you listed for survivorship for it, and I was going to surprise you with it by putting it in the pre-nup everybody is going to hassle us for." 

"I thought I made it clear, that was not even being discussed-" 

"I didn't bring it up, you wanted to know." 

"I'm not marrying you." 

"Yet." 

"Stop it." 

"Yet." 

"Alfie-" 

"Would you calm down?" Alfie chuckled. 

Claire rolled her eyes, "So, what about that thing you're building?" 

Alfie stared at her for a moment, and suddenly everything was very quiet and serious, "I... don't want to live in that house anymore... I thought, you know, maybe, if it was in my name, I thought I could convince myself that it never really belonged to either of my parents, it's always kind of been mine, but... Nobody stayed... I don't want to be stuck there... I was going to get this one done, sell that one, call it a day, and be that much closer to you, but, now, I don't know, if Kevin wants it..." 

"So you're going from one big empty house to another, bigger emptier house? Without your best friend across the street?" 

Alfie looked down, "I don't know what I was thinking, it was kind of spur of the moment." 

"Spur of the moment, like, 'God, this town is tiny, I'm gonna build a freaking castle?' Oh, yeah. I impulse shop like that all the time. What is it, like, ten bedrooms and a moat?" 

Alfie avoided her eyes. 

"Oh, god, there's moat." 

"There's not a moat... It's twelve, technically... With two offices and a two bedroom apartment." Alfie hazarded a look at her face, "Claire, you... You look like you just ate a bug, or something." 

"You told me... Remember, you told me? How you used to fall asleep in the floor of your closet as kid, because your room was too big?... You hate that." 

"Sorry." 

"Don't- What? Don't apologize, do what you damn well please, but... God, you are so weird. You drive a beater, because Bobby was involved, you drink that cheap, nasty store brand soda, your clothes, just-... Oh, my god..." 

"What?" 

"You don't spend money on yourself, you hate that. Except for your bike, which you treat like a person... You never do... I mean, you bought Margaret a car, you're trying to give Kevin a house, you gave Ivan back everything he paid you for rent, so who-... Oh, shit... No." 

A door closed softly upstairs, and Dean started toward the kitchen, pretending to ignore them. 

"I don't want it." Claire said quietly, "And it's gonna suck your soul out to live there, I know you." 

Alfie shrugged, "I could cancel the insurance and burn it down..." 

"Don't do that." 

"What else am I gonna do with it? If I sell it, the land... I'm sorry, the house was a horrible idea." Alfie said softly. 

Dean stopped at the back of the couch, remnants of intoxication clear in the way he approached them, and obviously in no mood to mince words, "You two dumbasses got this figured out yet? Or are you waiting for someone to spell it out in crayon?" 

Claire looked up, ready to tell him to shove it. 

"Also, you're talking too loud... Okay, fine... screw it... If you don't want him living with you at Bobby's, that's your business." Dean said quietly before resuming his course to the kitchen. 

Claire looked as though she were considering it before suddenly turning back to Alfie, "Why were you going to keep it a secret?" 

"I don't want to tell you that part." 

Claire suddenly proved herself quite capable of imitating Cas' domineering eyebrow raise. 

Alfie squirmed, "Okay, fine, I wasn't going to tell you because I didn't want to, y'know, hold it over you on accident, okay? I even told myself if you ever dumped me, I was going to sign it over to your dad, and move to Canada." 

"Why is it, any time the subject of a breakup comes up, you always paint me as the instigator? Never 'if we,' or 'if I.'" 

Alfie shook his head, "Duct tape." 

"Right... Okay, so..." Claire looked over her shoulder at the direction Dean had gone, "Is he right? You want to move into Bobby's old house with me? Live in a shack on the edge of a junkyard?" 

Alfie smirked, "Can Naomi come visit? Kinda want to see her face." 

"That would be fun." 

* * *

"You're still in, right?" Jack said quietly, dropping into the seat across from Ben in the cafeteria. 

"I said I was." 

"Trey still doesn't trust you, you know." 

"I don't trust him, either. I just want to shut him up." Ben replied as Xander joined them. 

"Well, don't let him hear you say it. If this goes wrong, there goes any credibility you had. You'll be an outcast forever." Jack said, digging into his potatoes, "So you got the story straight, right? Staying over at Whit's house." 

"Yeah. Whit's house, seven o'clock... How cold is it gonna get?" 

Jack shrugged, "Who cares? You won't notice." 

"No, just, if the eggs freeze-" 

"Ben, seriously. Knit them a little egg warmer, I don't care, just show up this time, don't wuss out on us." Xander said quietly. 

"Yeah, Trey said if you screw up one more time, he's done with anything involving you." 

Ben looked back and forth at both of them, "So you guys would ditch me? ...Are you saying you would ditch me?" 

Jack refused to meet his eyes, and Xander gave a shrug. 

"Okay." Ben said, "I'm in because I said I was in, I'm sticking by that, but if Trey tries to tell you who you're allowed to hang out with, what you're supposed to think, maybe he's not cool, maybe he's just an asshole. You both need to think about that, because at this point, I don't see much reason not to ditch you, myself." 

* * *

Dean was exhausted, and in the nearly empty shop, almost an hour after closing. He'd at least cleared two of the bays, and while Claire had headed home, he could hear Margaret at the desk, making just a couple more phone calls, trying to reach customers to schedule pick ups for in the morning.

He was putting away tools, and clearing messes, ready to close the doors, wash up, and head home, and suddenly, Margaret was at his elbow. 

"What's up?" 

"Um... Is there, like, some app or something where I can learn how to do car stuff?" she asked. 

"Car stuff? Like repairs?" 

"No, not exactly. Like, uh... I mean, I guess Claire could show me, but this light came on, and-" 

"Which light?" 

"Well, I didn't know if I should go to the dealership, or what. I never had a car before, but I think it's for oil." 

"You can't check your oil?" 

Margaret shrugged. 

Dean nodded, "So, uh, your family doesn't really get under the hood, huh?" 

"Oh, well, my dad likes cars, but he never let me and my sister in the garage. He said it was guy-stuff." 

Dean's eyes narrowed, "Okay, before I blow my lid, we're gonna take care of that. There is no 'guy-stuff.' It's cars. There's nothing I can do with a car that you couldn't learn to do yourself, so you go get your car and pull it around to bay three, you're doing this. I mean, honestly, you can't work in a shop and not know how to check the oil in your own vehicle." 

* * *

Cas sat at his desk downstairs, and with every little thump above him in Claire's room, he had to remind himself that she wasn't going far, and it was just that time of life for both of them.

He attempted to concentrate on his work, repeatedly checking the clock, which never seemed to move, making dinner time approach at a snail's pace. 

"Hey, Cas?" Ben said soft from the edge of the room. 

"Yeah?" Cas asked, grateful for any distraction, "Come on in, what's up?" 

"Um... What do you do if somebody is trying to get your friends not to be friends with you anymore? And not just like saying you did something, I mean, they're just done with you, and want everybody else to just forget you even exist?" 

Cas nodded, not willing to spell out for Ben that he had a very good idea of what was going on, "Do you know what JFK and Hitler had in common, Ben?" 

Ben looked taken aback, but shook his head. 

"They were both charismatic and very persuasive. They knew how to speak to get other people to listen, and agree with them, one gave us mass murder, the other gave us a moonlanding. Not everyone uses that skill to do good things, obviously. If you've run into someone who's persuasive, and has something against you, a real friend will see though it. Maybe not right away, it may take some time. And if they don't come around, they weren't a very good friend to begin with." 

"They just follow him around like robots." Ben fussed. 

"Would you rather be like them? Blind to what's really happening? Just another one of this person's goons?" 

Ben shook his head, "No, but if I wind up with no friends at all, it's gonna suck." 

Cas shifted in his chair slightly, "If you want to know what I think, I think you're immune to this individual's brainwashing because, deep down, you know you have the ability to be a leader." 

Ben scoffed, "Yeah, right." 

"You do. It's more latent in some people, you're more reserved, unlike the young lady upstairs who could order a cat to bark, but not every problem can be solved by barreling through it like a tank." 

"Okay, so, how do I keep my friends without being one of this guy's goons?" 

"Be the better option, and don't burn any bridges. You, and all your friends are at a very difficult part of your lives right now, you're going to hate each other sometimes, for no reason at all, but give them time, and if the brainwashing breaks, they'll realize the mistake they've made, and they'll come back." 

"And if they don't, get new friends?" 

"Absolutely. There are plenty of people in the world who would want to be friends with someone who is genuinely nice, rather than someone who's pretending to go along following some psychopath's cult. You can do better." 

* * *

Margaret was still giddy when she got home, bouncing happily through the kitchen before Kevin left Alfie and the video game in the living room, stopped in her tracks, "Um... You look really happy. Is that hormones, or did you kill somebody?"

"I can do car stuff." 

"What?" 

"I can do car stuff!" Margaret answered, "Dean helped, and I checked the oil, and put more in all by myself, and he said he'll help me learn how to do the basic maintenance, so I'm not going to have to have somebody do it for me. I'm not useless!" 

"You didn't know how to check oil? My mom taught me that when I was ten." 

"Your mom doesn't suck!" Margaret answered, still on a high, "And Dean didn't make fun of me, or say girls can't work on cars, I mean, Claire works there, so yeah, but, no, he was totally supportive, and, well, now, I'm a badass! He said I did great." 

"Yeah, you're a badass... But, you were in the garage?" 

"Where else would you do that? The office?" Margaret scoffed, digging in the fridge. 

"No, just... Um... With Claire getting hurt, and all-" 

"Don't take this away from me, okay? I feel tough right now, and I need that." 

"No," Kevin said gently, "Absolutely, you're an independent, empowered woman, totally bitchin', just, is it safe? For you, and Mike?" 

"I'm sure it's fine," Alfie said as he wandered in, "Something that minor, with Dean right there, she'd be okay." 

"Oh, that reminds me... Dean's still my emergency contact for the hospital..." 

Kevin's expression suddenly dropped, "Oh, man... I forgot about that." 

"So... Did we want to change that?" 

Kevin shrugged, "That's up to you. I mean, he knows more about the medical stuff than I do, but if you want to change it... I was an asshole." 

Alfie nodded, "Yeah, glad you pulled your head out, man... Oh, and you guys probably want to know, Crowley's coming for a couple days, and then I'm moving over to Bobby's old house with Claire, so-" 

"You're moving?" Kevin asked abruptly. 

"Um, yeah." Alfie said quietly, "But that also gets me out of your way so you guys can set up for the baby." 

"Okay, this just got weird." Margaret said softly. 

"It's not weird. Besides, I'm gonna have a much bigger back-up house pretty soon, anyway, completely empty, too, because Dean is right, I have all the common sense of a cinderblock." 

Kevin made an odd face before collecting Alfie by the shoulders and shoving him awkwardly out through the back door, headed for the covered patio next to the pool. 

"Are you drunk?" Kevin asked. 

"I just got home an hour ago, you've been here the whole time, how could I be drunk?" 

"What bigger emptier house?" 

"Dude-" 

"You tell me everything." 

"I don't tell you everything." 

"Samandriel-" 

"I'm idiot, okay? That's the short version." 

"And the longer version?" 

"Um... giant freaking house going up close to work, on ancient Novak land?" Alfie watched as Kevin ran an exasperated hand over his face, "And I wasn't going to tell her, but her aunt got everybody drinking, and her dad was trying to get information out of me, and I don't know what the hell he said... Anyway, Claire's moving to Bobby's old house, so..." 

"And Claire doesn't want this big ass house?" 

"No... But she also told me not to burn it down, so, big empty house, taking up space, sitting around, looking ridiculous... Might make a good bed and breakfast if anyone wanted to run one." 

"But you don't want to sell it, because the land?" 

"Yep." 

"What about a women's shelter? There might be some kind of a tax break in there, some kind of a non-profit thing you could do, hire somebody to run it." 

Alfie looked up, "Damn... That would be awesome... I wonder if they can make it bigger... Anyway, if Margaret stays, then I don't have to worry about unloading this thing. Gives you a little more time to get that career training stuff out of the way before the whole adulting thing happens." 

Kevin was quiet for a while, looking around the yard, "Man, I thought I had everything happening at once, but look at you... Trying to keep up with gallery showings with Naomi, I'm guessing you had Crowley's help with your little mini-kingdom out there, alienated your girlfriend, now you're moving into your dead boss' house with her, and she's fixing to be his granddaughter, kind of... Your life is crazy." 

"You're a straight guy wanting to work in a beauty salon, about to be a teen dad. I think I got it easier." 

"You might have had it easier in some ways, but what do you think that stressful childhood did to your brain?" 

Alfie scoffed, "You didn't have it easier. Maybe somebody got paid to tuck me in, but there weren't any funerals involved." 

"So why not sell this place if it sucks so bad? Get rid of it?" 

"Because I don't have to... And I guess keeping it is good for my credit score." 

Kevin shot him a confused look, and they both broke down into laughter. 

* * *


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: I set myself up a twitter. @FythyrWisp if you do that.
> 
> This is a fairly beefy chapter.
> 
> That's it, not gonna bore you or stall any further. Thanks for reading! FW)

* * *

"Whit?" Dean asked, "Who else?"

Ben shrugged, but quickly backtracked, knowing Dean would catch it, "Probably Jack and Xander, but not all night, because Xander still gets tired too fast. Jack's house is across the street. Oh, and Ryan and his brother." 

"What about Trey?" 

"Trey says Whit's a giant- um..." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah." 

Dean seemed to be thinking about it, "What about Whit's parents? Are they okay with this?" 

"Yeah. His game nights are the only reason he has any friends." Ben replied, "I mean, it's not really his fault he's really dorky, right? So he tries not to be lame, and everybody has fun. And if Millie comes over, his mom makes us leave the door open, so... Can I go?" 

Dean seemed to hem and haw over it, until Cas spoke up, "Dean, he's got to have some kind of a social life." 

"When is this? Tomorrow?" 

"Yeah. All I need is a note so I can get a pass from the office to get off the bus at his stop." 

Dean nodded, turning back to the television, "Yeah, okay, you can go. But no trouble this time, right?" 

"Right." Ben replied, headed for the stairs, his feet thumping loudly as he made for his room. 

Claire dug into the bowl of popcorn sitting on the coffee table from her spot on the floor next to it, "He's hiding something." 

"I highly doubt that." Cas replied. 

"He gave you way too much detail. He does that to keep from telling you the lie that's gonna make him do that flinchy thing." 

"How do you figure?" Dean asked. 

"Because it's him." she answered. 

"Yeah, well, if I catch him every time he's being dishonest, he'll get better at it, and then he won't slip up and spill on the big stuff." Dean replied, "And it's video games. How much trouble can Trey get them into playing video games?" 

* * *

It had been a fairly calm week, and Ivan found himself settling into a routine he liked, as Julie had grown far more comfortable with their arrangement.

He was only getting one day off, having spent the other working on a rebuild at the shop, only making half-time by being available in case someone came in. 

Cyndi was making an attempt to scare him with a plastic dinosaur, and he was playing along, while trying to get a new song memorized, when there was a knock at the door. 

Getting up, he set the guitar down and went for the door, not sure what to expect. The only people who ever knocked were usually trying to convert him. The last time he'd insisted he was running late for a coven meeting and orgy, but they were welcome to join him, and they hadn't come back after that. 

He was a bit surprised to find Julie's uncle standing on the porch with a long, white cardboard box, "Hi." 

"I stopped by the diner for coffee, and noticed my niece didn't have her daughter with her... I also got out of her that you're lacking a Christmas tree, so I pulled this one out of the garage." 

Ivan nodded, "Thank you. C'mon in." 

The older man looked around carefully as he stepped inside. Several of Cyndi's toys and cardboard books littered the floor, the small television was off, and a basket of folded laundry sat on top of a low bookcase, ready to be put away. He turned his head to the kitchen, and Ivan knew he could easily see the lunch dishes in the sink, and the pan still on the stove. 

"Sorry about the mess." Ivan muttered. 

Cyndi was making roaring noises, trying to make her dinosaur bite her great-uncle's hand, but he passed the long box to Ivan and picked her up, "Don't worry about it, this is nothing compared to my first apartment." 

"So, I guess you decided to take me up on it, huh?" 

"Yes, I did." 

"Can I get you a soda?" Ivan asked, gesturing to the kitchen. 

"I don't suppose you have anything stronger?" he asked. 

"Not really. I mean, I only have a beer or two if it's a party, otherwise, what's the point, right? So, not something I keep on hand." Ivan answered, setting the box in a corner, "Well, have a seat, and give me a minute, I'll be right back." 

* * *

Crowley was a bit surprised by the size of Margaret's stomach as the door opened, "Goodness. A boy, right?"

"Yep." 

"He'll be a sturdy one, I'm sure. Let me offer you a late congratulations, my dear." 

"Thanks." Margaret replied with a smile, "Alfie's still at work, and Claire's packing up some of the stuff he's putting in storage. I'm running out to pick up dinner, is barbecue okay?" 

"Of course." Crowley answered with a courteous nod, waiting until the door closed before going to the guest room to set down his suitcase. 

Passing Margaret's open door, once his brother's room, Crowley couldn't help a quick glance. A large cardboard box stood against the far wall, a baby swing, still not assembled. 

Alfie had, of course, told him everything. The boy wouldn't speak to his own parents much at all anymore, and Crowley had done his best to be available as Alfie had been living alone. They still spoke regularly on the phone, and Crowley had even made it to a couple of his gallery events, but he hadn't stopped in for a visit in over a year. 

He put his things down, and wandered through the more public areas of the house, having been well aware of Alfie's plan to leave it for almost a year. 

Claire came around the corner into the living room just as Crowley had been headed to Rachael's old room, and she wound up bumping into him, spilling a small box of books she'd been carrying with some difficulty. 

"Oh, hey... Didn't hear you come in, sorry." Claire said, quickly trying to repack the box. 

Crowley crouched and started picking them up, "No worries. You ought to be careful, though, don't want to injure yourself further... Are you still repairing cars, with your hand in a cast?" 

"No, and it's horrible. I'm stuck on desk work until I get my cast off, and I just found out the shop's filing system is a complete wreck. I'm trying to get that sorted out before Dean takes over the office again, but-" 

Crowley had stopped, looking at the title of one book, in particular. One that was non-fiction, and dealt with the subject of intimacy after sexual assault. It had clearly been read and referred to enough times that it was dogeared and starting to fall apart. 

He set it back in the box, on top of the others, "Seems I've stumbled into a fairly personal detail, but for what it's worth, I am terribly sorry." 

"It's not-... It was a really long time ago. I'm okay, now." Claire said quietly. 

"Of course. And to be certain, you can rely on my discretion." Crowley replied, lifting the box for her as he stood, "Although, to have been a long time ago, you must have been very young." 

"Fourteen, barely." Claire answered, trying to keep her behavior from coming skittish. 

"Someone you trusted, then?" 

"No, my mom's landlord... This box needs to go to the garage." Claire said quietly, avoiding his eyes. 

"Allow me." Crowley answered, and turned to make his way there as Claire ducked back into Alfie's bedroom. 

* * *

Ivan sat on the arm of his couch, waiting patiently for a reply. He'd handed over the copies he kept detailing his arrest, conviction, and release, along with mandatory drug testing six months following.

"You went to jail because your cousin's boyfriend left a bag of pot in the car? ...That's it?" 

Ivan shrugged, "She had a baby, what would you do? Let them take her in? Split her up from her kid?" 

The man looked up, "You just give until it hurts, don't you?" 

"Not for a long time after that, but it's getting easier." Ivan replied. 

"And this music career, how does Julie fit in to that picture?" 

"How do you mean?" 

"Are other women going to get in the way?" 

Ivan shook his head, "No, um... Look, you came here for the truth, right? ...I've had enough going on with other girls for a while, this is different... I'd barely get to know somebody, and one or both of us was done, I don't want to do that anymore." 

"How many times was there a child involved?" 

"Never. But I've been stuck babysitting for my cousins' kids a bunch of times, Cyndi's no problem." 

"And you're of the opinion she belongs with her mother?" he asked. 

"I know your sister in law doesn't think so. But she's wrong." 

The man nodded, "I take her opinions with a grain of salt, to say the least... You know, I had the idea you were bad news, I expected full sleeve tattoos and a cigarette in your hand when you opened the door, now I see you're just a goody-two-shoes trying to make a bad reputation work for him." 

"I'm not sure if that's an insult or a compliment." Ivan replied. 

"You and Julie have both screwed up starting out in life. I think you'll both be more inclined to forgive each other than anyone without a bad background could manage... Might want to get that tree set up before she gets home, so she doesn't tell you to bring it back to my house. I've got two more fake ones, and my wife wants a real one in the living room this year." he passed Ivan the stack of papers, and stood, looking around again, "All right... You get what you wanted, we'll put this behind us, and hopefully I'll see all three of you for Christmas dinner." 

"If Julie wants to go, we'll be there." 

* * *

The first hour of waiting hadn't been too bad. Whit's dad was out of town, and his mother was thoroughly distracted by whatever work she'd brought home.

The group had grown slowly, taking over the large converted two car garage, Jack and Xander had arrived, as had several other boys, Millie, and a girl Ben didn't know, but had seen around school. 

Pizza had been plentiful, and video games were in full swing, but everyone was well aware that Trey would arrive around sundown, and the video games would be set aside. 

Ben had a plan of his own, one he'd devised in secret. He didn't particularly want to follow along with what Trey was dragging his friends into, but he'd given his word, and didn't think he could back out. Instead, he was going to stick to the plan, knowingly act like a goon, and watch for any chance he could get to question Trey and attempt to make him look like an idiot. He wasn't exactly worried, if it came to blows, he was sure he could take him. All he needed was the chance to look smarter or stronger than Trey. Then he'd get his friends back, and Trey would be the embarrassment they no longer ran with. 

It had been hours of waiting, goofing off, and dreading, wondering if it was ever actually going to happen, but at some point, the signal occurred. Ben missed exactly how it had happened, Millie and the other girl had left through the front of the house, saying goodbye to Whit's mother, and slowly the rest of the children began leaving in twos and threes through the back door of the game room, out into the back yard. The door into the main part of the house had been closed, under the excuse of turning up the sound on the television, which had occurred. 

Whit and two other kids stayed behind as the rest started at a quiet pace in clumps to a small park at the end of the block. They gathered in a picnic structure, and Trey started to discuss his plan. 

Ben had heard it all before, in detail, and ignored most of it, more interested in the fact that across from him, Millie was whispering something to the girl she'd brought along. Trey caught her at it, however, and called her out. 

"Okay, this has to be silent. If you two are going to flap your jaws, you can just go home. Freakin' useless, anyway." 

"We haven't said anything, you guys have been making all the noise." Millie argued. 

Trey shrugged with a wide swing of his arms, "Okay, fine. Tits, or get the fuck out." 

Millie glared at him, but a chuckle was startling to circle the group, and Ben didn't like the sound of it. On the other hand... 

"C'mon, Trey, you've got bigger boobs than she does." Ben spoke up, "I mean, you probably spend all day staring at them in the mirror." 

Trey was quickly turning red as he spun around, and snapped over the sound of laughter, "Nobody asked you, Bitchester." 

As Trey went back to his plan, attempting to recover from the derailed conversation, Ben noticed Jack was laughing along with everyone else, and Xander was looking slightly green. He would have assumed it was just the low light, but there was also something of a sway as Xander tried to stay upright. 

"Hey, you okay?" Ben asked quietly. 

"Yeah, I'm just-, it's been a long day. I probably should sit down for a bit." 

"Can't," Jack answered him quickly, "We're moving. Gotta go, before some old people call the cops." 

* * *

Cas stepped behind the low armchair, passing Dean a beer, and slipping a hand inside Dean's collar, "You're a mess."

"Yeah. Rough day." Dean replied. Cas could tell he meant it, Dean seemed utterly exhausted. 

"That's a shame, considering how quiet the house is... What do you want for dinner?" 

"Haven't had tacos in a while, how late is that one place open?" Dean asked. 

"Nine, I think... Go get cleaned up, I'll run into town." 

Dean leaned his head back as far as he could, looking up at Cas, "If anybody ever asks when I knew it was forever, I'm gonna say was when you brought me tacos." 

Cas chuckled, and headed for the coat closet. 

* * *

Several of Trey's eighth grade friends were supposed to join them later, when they reached the elementary school. One of the boys' mothers was a teacher there, and he'd left a window in her classroom unlatched.

Trey had told everyone to look for things they could use to smash up or graffiti the building, and they'd split into groups again. 

Millie's friend seemed less than thrilled with the plan for the evening, and the two of them had hung near the back until everyone had started for the school. Despite starting out early, sticking to Xander's pace, the three of them, joined by the girls, were soon the last group. 

Trying to stay out of sight, they navigated the neighborhood through back alleyways, avoiding blocks where there were known to be dogs in the back yards, and cutting the the back lot of the smaller grocery store. 

Ben watched as one of the boys further up the alley from them picked up a thin board laying next to a fence, "So... we go do this, how much stuff is the school going to have to replace and fix?" 

"No idea." Jack replied, "But I'm sure the kids won't care, I mean, they might get a couple days off while the school has to fix all this crap." 

"Why are we doing this, again?" Ben asked. 

"Um... For fun?" 

"What's fun about it? I mean, really, what is so great about trashing the place?" Ben noticed Trey break off from the first group, and hang back, heading toward them, "Bunch of little kids go there, it's like walking into a baby's house and kicking over their blocks. That's just stupid." 

"Guys, I need a break." Xander said, his voice straining. 

Jack caught Xander's arm, and Ben stopped with them as the girls passed them and Trey finally got close enough to speak, "C'mon, Xander, we got shit to do. Hustle." 

"He can't hustle, dumbass," Jack said firmly, helping Xander to sit down against a brick fence, "You know that, you were there." 

Trey rolled his eyes and turned to Xander, "Look, man, you're slowing us down. We're going to have to make this fast, and if you're already going this slow, we're practically gonna have to carry you out if the cops show. So, nice try, but, hang tight, and we'll double back when we're done." 

"What?" Ben asked, "We're not leaving him in an alley, that's bullshit." 

"It's not like it's gonna take a long time. He'll be fine." 

Ben looked down and realized Xander was already shivering, "Jack? ...This was a bad idea, we gotta him back home." 

"Or, you can wimp out and stay here with him, like a whiny bitch." Trey said, stepping closer to Ben. 

Ben was vaguely aware the girls had overheard, and stopped walking, but he was concerned about Jack's complete lack of a response, "Right. I'm a whiny bitch because I'm not about to leave my sick friend in a dark alley in December! God, you are just a walking pile of dog shit, you know that?" 

Trey's face hardened considerably, as Millie came closer, "What's going on?" 

Ben ignored her, instead looking around, trying to remember what stores in the area would still be open, and a block and a half away, he spotted a familiar vehicle, and Cas, headed into the Mexican restaurant. 

"Jack," Ben said in a measured tone, "He can't keep going, and we can't leave him. That's Cas' car, over outside Tio Juan's, just go ask him to come help us out, I'll say it was my idea and take the blame for it." 

Jack looked down at Xander, then back to Trey, then with a shrug he started through the empty lot toward the restaurant as Ben sat down immediately next to Xander, to try to help him conserve heat. 

"Are you freaking kidding me, Jack?" Trey demanded. 

Millie looked back to her friend, who shook her head at Trey, gave Millie a little wave, and started back in the direction they'd come from. Millie shot Trey a disgusted look, and took the spot on Xander's other side, "We are gonna get in so much trouble..." 

Jack kept walking even as Trey followed after him with a rather aggressive stance, "So that's it, huh? You gonna be a good little lap dog, do what Ben tells you, and drop everything because Xander can't keep up? Run off and tattle to the fucking principal? Are you that stupid?" 

Jack stopped, "Maybe." 

"So, what's it gonna be? Last chance. Are you gonna stick with us, or with those two-bit losers?" 

Jack didn't answer, which seemed to make Trey even more furious. He picked up his pace, however, seeing Cas come out with a take-out bag, and not wanting to miss his chance to get Xander a ride home with the slight possibility of not having to tell his parents. 

Cas set the bag in the passenger seat and was about to round the vehicle and get in when Jack broke into a run, as Trey yelled some insult behind him before taking off himself, not wanting to be seen, "Mr Novak!" 

Cas looked up as Jack made it to the edge of the parking lot, "Jack? ...You're out late." 

Jack nodded, slowing down and trying to catch his breath, "Listen, um... We... We were out, gonna do something, and... Trey just ditched us 'cause Xander can't walk anymore... Ben's over there with him. Can you help us get him home?" 

"Of course," Cas said, immediately looking concerned, "Where is he? Is he hurt?" 

"No, he's just tired. They're over there, by that wall." Jack said, turning around and pointing. 

Cas could barely make out a low fence, but he did spot what looked to be Trey, catching up with a few more kids further up the alley. 

* * *

"So... Is he gonna yell at you?" Millie asked over Xander's head.

Ben shook his head, "Probably not. But my dad might, when I get home... Kind of have it coming, though. I mean, this was stupid." 

Millie nodded, "Yeah, pretty stupid... You think they're in the school, yet?" 

Xander scoffed, but his voice was shaky, "Trey's just using this to hide that he's gonna steal flash cards out of the kindergarten so he can finally learn the alphabet." 

Cas' headlights flashed as he crossed the uneven road to pull into the empty lot, as Jack directed him closer to their position, until the headlights flooded them for a moment, and then the car pulled up alongside them. 

Ben wasn't certain what to expect, having seen Cas go off on Claire so recently. 

The large white vehicle jerked as it was put in park, and Jack got out of the front seat as Cas came around the front, going straight for them, looking over the three huddled youths. Ben got to his feet, and tried to get Xander to stand up, but in the residual light, he could tell Xander's color was off. 

Cas reached down and pulled him to his feet, "Can you walk?" 

Xander gave a less than certain nod, and Cas hurried him to the car, closed the door, and turned around, waving the remaining three to pile into the back seat. 

"Millie, too?" Ben asked. 

"I'm not about to leave her here by herself. It may be a small town, but that doesn't exempt us from crime." 

* * *

Ben stayed in the car, watching from the front seat as Cas had a long conversation with Don Lytton on the front porch. Mrs Lytton had come out to speak to them after a few minutes, and she seemed rather upset.

Cas had dropped Millie off first, and Ben had been able to hear it when he told her mother that she'd been out with a group of children, and he noticed Cas didn't specify 'boys' and said that one of them had gotten too cold, and with his own child among them, asked for a ride. Ben assumed it was the variation of the events that would cause the least possible amount of damage while still being truthful. 

Mrs Lytton pulled her loose sweater close around her, and looked as though she might cry. She also shook her head a lot. 

Ben felt guilty for just having been involved, and wondered what his own mother would have said, had she been the one receiving him from the care of his principal. He had an idea what his father was going to say, but it had been years without her. He worried sometimes that he was starting to forget the sound of her voice. 

Cas came back to the car, and got in as the Lyttons went back inside. He was quiet, but he didn't start the car right away, "Ben... what were you doing in that alley?" 

Ben nodded, knowing Dean would get the truth out of him when he got home, "Trey got a bunch of us together... We were going to break in and trash the elementary school." 

"Ben..." 

"I know. It was stupid. I thought if I went along with it, and just made Trey sound like an idiot, maybe I could get them to stop. Worst come to worst, I'd look like a chicken when I ran off." Ben looked out the window, "Kind of worked... I mean, Trey was trying to get Jack to leave Xander there, so maybe, just a little bit, maybe it's a good thing I went?... I don't know." 

"And Millie?" 

"He talked her into going, too, but I don't think he'll be able to do that again." 

"Now what?... Now your acquaintances are damaging public property, a place of learning, what are you going to do?" 

Ben shrugged, "I can't stop them." 

Cas pulled out his phone, and pulled up the non-emergency number for the sheriff's department, "Here... You can tell them what you know, and ask them to check on it." 

"Can't you do it?" 

"If I do it, it's hearsay. Also, I'm driving." 

"You mean that I need to take responsibility, man up, and snitch." 

"That, too." 

Ben stared at the number, "You know they're gonna hate me if they find out it was me, right? They will never forgive me, ever. I won't have any friends, and I'll be-, well, worse than a laughing stock, I'll be the target for everybody at the school, probably through high school, too." 

"Ben, what do you suppose Trey and his 'goons,' as you put it the other day, are doing right now?" 

Ben looked down at the screen as he wrestled with his conscious, before pressing the button to make the call. 

* * *

Ben had gone straight to his room the moment he'd gotten home, and he could hear Cas and Dean talking downstairs.

He'd looked at the clock at several points, and they'd been at it for an hour. He worried. He waited. He was sure at any point, his father's booming voice would call him downstairs to explain himself. 

It had been late when he'd decided to give up and go to bed. He would have felt guilty, if it weren't for the stress of not knowing what would happen next. 

He still had a knot in his stomach when he woke late the next day. 

Ben could hear the sound of someone cooking downstairs, and talked himself into heading to the table, his head hung low. 

He stopped in the open doorway behind where Cas was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee as Dean stood at the stove, turning some cubed potatoes. Dean caught sight of him, and gestured to Cas, who nodded and got up to tend to the pan. 

Dean wrapped Ben in a tight hug, "Heard you guys had a rough time last night... Who's idea was it to go get Cas?" 

"It was my idea." Ben replied quietly. 

"Why didn't you have Jack wait with Xander, and get Cas yourself?" 

Ben shrugged, "I was worried Trey would talk him into leaving Xander there. I wasn't sure he would stay." 

Dean squeezed Ben tighter, "And then you ratted out the kids who made it to the school, even though you just put a target on your back, doing it. Right?" 

"I'm sorry, dad." 

"Don't get me wrong, buddy, you're still grounded, but for the most part, the stuff that really matters, you did good." 

* * *


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: I have some things building up... I know I said in a comment somewhere 'there's not gonna be a wedding scene because I'm bitter and divorced,' well, it's coming soon. And it didn't come out at all like I expected, either, but I love it dearly.
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> I'm not sure if this is coming through for anyone else, but I'm really seeing a few personality parallels, in that Dean and Claire still seem like hunters, 'punch your problems in the face before they get bigger,' while both Cas and Alfie are still quiet, protective, and self-sacrificing creatures trying to care for those around them. Kevin and Ben are humans, I'm really sure about that, with Ben having hunter potential and his leadership style seems more like Dean than like Sam, but if it wasn't a human-AU, any ideas on Margaret? I really can't place her, but I don't know that she'd be human, and definitely not an angel.
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> Okay, find me on twitter or something if you want to discuss, @FythyrWisp
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> Love you all! Thanks for reading! You're all epic! FW)

* * *

Kevin wasn't expecting to see Crowley chatting in a friendly manner with Margaret, one hand on her belly, and took a moment to remind himself that, as much as the guy made his skin crawl, he had once saved Kevin's life.

"Hey... Everybody having fun, then?" Kevin asked. 

"Your lovely young lady friend here was just telling me about what a comfort your mother's been to her, and plans for your son's name." Crowley answered, "Also that you're continuing your schooling in a less orthodox manner, but still, well done." 

Kevin nodded, "Thanks. Not easy, to be honest. I get a lot of crap for being a guy." 

"I can imagine... Samandriel told me you'd suggested he turn his new country house into a women's shelter, it would actually be just the nonprofit the corporation needs right now. Good thinking." 

"I wasn't thinking of your corporation." 

"No, of course not. But all the same, the tax break and good press it will provide is well worth having it fully funded with a proper staff... You'd be in a good spot to help, working in a salon, you know. Working with women all day, it wouldn't be suspicious whatsoever if one came in to speak with you." 

"You want me to be involved?" 

Crowley shrugged, "Well... It was your idea." 

* * *

"Xander's mother came to the school today..." Cas whispered against Dean's neck in the darkness.

"After what the Lyttons told you, I'm not surprised." Dean replied sleepily, "How's she doing?" 

"She misses her son... And she knows that's not the best place for him... They're frustrated, anybody would be a little tired." 

"They're assholes, and they aren't trying. They're also probably dealing with Jack freaking out because his friend is getting all the attention. Always struck me as a whiny kid." 

"That's not fair. Our kids are easy." 

"Our kids are not easy." Dean replied firmly, "They're great people, but they're... They're okay, because we give them everything we've got." 

After some time, Cas spoke again, "I know we both said we were just past that time when it would be reasonable, but... What if we weren't talking about midnight feedings and diapers? What if it was just more help with homework than what most kids need, 'sudden onset dyslexia,' and a few small things, like shoelaces and IEP meetings? He's obviously well enough to go tearing around back alleys with Ben." 

"That's still a big commitment." 

"Of course it is. And I think the Lyttons took it far too lightly... But she had some time, and opened up, explained the arrangement they have. She has legal jurisdiction over where he lives, as long as it's not with her. The Lyttons are considering turning him over after Christmas. He'd have to leave town, there's no one set up for fostering special needs here, even though he barely qualifies. Her brother lives sixty miles away, but she doesn't want him there, either. She said we'd be a much better option." 

"What about him? What does he want?" Dean asked quietly. 

"She said he's unhappy, and she's worried he's going to run away." 

Dean adjusted where his hand sat in Cas' hair, "This is a terrible idea. Claire's just now moving out, if we want to make this look good on paper, we're gonna rush it and make it a quick trip to the court house, and Ben's still grounded with probably half the middle school gunning for him, and I'm the fuck-up that let him get hurt in the first place." 

"That's not a no." 

"No, it's not... Because... Grand scheme of things... Always a good reason to trust your gut." 

"It'll work." 

"Yeah... It'll work." Dean replied, "We just need to schedule it with the J.P., and we'll save the party for a renewal sometime, okay?" 

* * *

The diner wasn't too busy when Ivan dropped in, quickly receiving a peck on the cheek, and a toddler as he went to sit down.

The gaggle of old hens had returned in force. This time, their numbers were too large for the booth next to his, and they were seated at a freestanding table. 

Staring, they were more silent than usual, and it no easy task to ignore them. 

Ivan leaned back in his seat, setting Cyndi in front of him on the table, "Okay, munchkin, did you see anything cool this morning?" 

Cyndi pointed to the kitchen and babbled quietly as Ivan picked out two or three actual words to respond to, "Yeah, they got noodles in there. What else did you see?" 

"Cheese." Cyndi drew out the word with a happy grin, making her thin, short pigtails bounce. 

Suddenly there was a hushed flurry of words at the table nearby, and, yes, glances in his direction. 

"Well, of course she's talking more now, she probably has to, to get any attention now there's a man in Julie's life." 

_'Oh, hell, they are not ripping on Julie...'_ Ivan thought, getting up, and swinging Cyndi onto his hip. He approached the table with a smile at just how fast certain members of the party were buttoning their lips, "So, you ladies heard that? There's cheese today. Cyndi saw it." 

"How nice!" one of the nicer grandmotherly types replied, "Do you like cheese, Cyndi?" 

"No." Cyndi answered. 

"Right, no, she hates cheese, but she gobbles it up." Ivan commented, "But, you know, I thought I'd come say hi, since the whole place can hear you again. Can't expect much, though, right?" 

"What do you mean?" another asked. 

"Oh, you know. Anything you can find to stick your hooked nose in where it doesn't belong. Who were we whispering about today?" 

"It was a private conversation, dear." 

"You say that, but all I hear is 'behind somebody's back.'" Ivan said with an overly friendly smile. 

"We were talking about how much better Cyndi's speaking, now. I suppose you had a hand in that?" 

Ivan bounced Cyndi a little on his hip, "Why not? Or maybe she's just growing, you know, like kids do, and it has nothing to do with who she's around. Or maybe her mom has got a little more energy left after work on days I can watch her, and reads to her every night and tried to get her talking. Or, and this would be the best option, maybe it's none of your business." 

The woman who'd shut down the particularly nasty one months ago cracked a smile, "How is that whole set-up working out for you, Ivan? You were living alone, right? Having a toddler underfoot? That's got to be a big change." 

Ivan nodded, "Yeah, it is a big change, but it's a lot better than everything being quiet all the time." 

"Well, that's good. And if Julie's having an easier time, and Cyndi's adjusting to it this fast, you three must be doing something right." 

"Shameful. Just shameful." one muttered. 

Ivan chuckled, "You say that now, but when all three of us come in with matching tattoos next week, you wont be laughing." 

A few of the ladies chuckled as he walked away, but he could hear a few quiet hisses openly wondering if he was serious. 

* * *

Cas had taken a half day, and much to Claire's well-hidden annoyance, had dragged her over to the house in the junkyard with a notepad and pen in hand.

He'd already checked the condition of the ceilings of the second floor, as it had no attic space, finding no evidence of leaks, and was now downstairs taking the cover off the opening for the range hood in the kitchen. 

"So, you dragged me over here to play building inspector?" Claire asked dryly. 

"The last thing you'll want to have happen is to move in and then find out something has to be fixed, especially if it's a large repair. Better to handle it now... Also, you'll want to make sure you have everything you need, so there won't be any small surprises, either." 

"Right... Because I'm completely inept, huh?" 

Cas turned around with a shrug, "A friend of mine got his first apartment right after college. The day after he moved in, his mother took him to a grocery store, and helped make certain he had a completely stocked kitchen. She helped him put everything away in an organized fashion, and went home. He was all set to make himself dinner, and suddenly he realized the one thing he didn't have in the apartment was a can-opener." 

"Okay, well, there's two can-openers in that drawer, so..." 

"That's not the point, Claire." Cas replied, "It's my job to make sure you have the best possible start in life, and there's very little of that left for me to do. I can at least make sure this place isn't falling down around your ears and there are at least a few pans in the cupboard." 

She nodded, "So when you said you'd help any way you could, you really meant whether I wanted you to, or not?" 

"I have my reasons. And when I'm ready to tell you why, you'll understand." Cas said quietly, turning his attention to the window over the kitchen sink, checking to see if any draft came in around it, "As it stands, it looks as though we'll be moving the wedding up. Probably just a simple ceremony at the court house, possibly as soon as next week." 

"What? Why?... Oh, crap, is one of you pregnant?" 

"That's not funny." 

"That's a little funny." 

Cas ran a hand over his face, "Claire...." 

"Seriously, what would make you guys rush this? You already jumped into the whole moving in thing. And now I'm out of the way, you can get your office back, and I'm not that far, so it should all be fine, right? I mean, what could happen in the next six months that you can't put this off?" 

Cas could see the gears turning, and a look of growing concern on Claire's face, as his own mind had an idea what her logical conclusion would be, "No one is dying, if that's what you're thinking. But nothing is exactly in place, yet. I'll tell you when I know for certain." 

"Great. So you guys are acting suspicious as hell, and you're not going to tell me anything." 

"Isn't that what parents are supposed to do?" 

* * *

Claire shut the door behind her, coming through the foyer to find Kevin leaning on the back of the couch with Alfie in a headlock, and Margaret ignoring them both. She looked them over with a hint of amusement, and continued to the kitchen for a soda, looking over to Margaret, who was far more engrossed with a shopping site open on her phone. "How'd it go, today?"

"Good, I think. Mike is still a boy, he's the right size, so he's growing well, and no sign of gestational diabetes." 

"Awesome." Claire replied, "How about the wrestling match?" 

"You don't want to know. But Alfie's still conscious, so, might want to break it up before that changes." 

Claire turned back around just in time to watch Alfie hook an arm under Kevin's leg and flip him over the back of the couch, "Okay, nevermind." 

"So, how's the driving thing going?" Margaret asked. 

"Better. I got my car back, so, more freedom. Still hard to shift it into drive. At least it's not a stick." 

"So, if that sprain is better, then..." 

"Yeah. Still having some trouble with my hair, but-" 

Kevin scrambled up onto the back of the couch and used it to launch himself, tackling Alfie to the floor. Claire, having had enough, took a dive at Kevin, pinning him awkwardly face down on the floor as Alfie disentangled himself. Claire stuck her smallest finger into her mouth and pulled it out noisily, holding it next to Kevin's ear as he gave a squirm, "Are you done?" 

"Yep." 

"Okay." 

Alfie helped Claire to her feet, pulling her into a hug, "My hero." 

"So, Crowley got to the airport okay, then?" 

"Yeah. But, all kinds of paperwork and stuff. At this point, I just might tell him to start forging my signature." 

"Can he forge mine, too?" Kevin asked, getting up from the floor. 

"Why does he need to forge yours?" Claire asked. 

"Because apparently being willing to take three maybe-an-hour length phone calls a week with that guy constitutes an actual job in his world." 

"That's a job?" Claire asked, "That's not a job, that's a twelve year old girl deciding what to wear. " 

Kevin gave her a steady look, "Difference is, I don't actually want to talk to the guy. That makes it a job. And anyway, it makes me a freelance consultant right now, so I can stay focused on beauty school- And can I pleeease help you with your hair, already? You're all greasy on just this side over here, and it's driving me crazy." 

"It's not that bad. You're the only one who can see it." 

"You see it." Kevin answered, "C'mon, Claire, I need the practice anyway. It's not gonna kill you." 

"Nope. Shampooing is a gateway drug. Next thing I know, you'll be talking me into a purple mohawk." Claire said with a small shake of her head. 

"I don't have the stuff here for that." Kevin said, starting for Margaret's room before abruptly turning around and heading the other side of the house. 

"Where are you going?" Claire called after him. 

"He's getting towels." Margaret said, not looking up, "Because he's right, you do look greasy on that side, and if Alfie tries to help, he clearly has no idea what he's doing. No offense." 

"None taken, I wasn't involved... So, anyway... Dinner ideas?" Alfie asked, looking around. 

"Yeah, I need noodles." Margaret answered, "And Claire's gonna argue less if we ditch, so, let's go." 

Kevin returned just as Margaret was getting down from the barstool she'd been perched on, carrying a small stack of towels, and Claire's bottles of shampoo and conditioner. 

"Where did your shirt go?" Claire asked quickly. 

"I don't have an apron handy." Kevin answered as Margaret patted Claire on the shoulder. 

"Relax. My haircut turned out awesome, you'll be fine. Just keep him out of my nail polish." 

* * *

Ben, having heard his name called, trudged downstairs, certain Dean had yet another task to keep him busy. He'd been dodging people at school every day and had been struck in the head with a bowl of fruit salad at lunch, but at home, at least no one picked on him while he was trying to work through the repercussions of his actions.

"Yeah?" Ben asked, half way down the stairs. 

"Come in here for a minute," Dean said from the couch. Cas was sitting on a chair close by, and Ben felt sure they'd been talking for some time. 

Ben rounded one end of the couch and sat down in Claire's preferred spot, sideways to face them both. Dean nodded, seemingly trying to work himself up to some point, "So, um... Things are a little weird right now, huh?" 

"Yeah, I guess... I mean, we just moved over here, and Claire's moving over there. That's weird." 

"Are you liking your room okay?" 

"Yeah." 

"Okay." Dean said quietly, "We were trying to figure something out, see, Claire's room is bigger, but you just got settled in... Also, Cas has been talking to Xander's mom a lot lately, and we were thinking it might be best if he comes to live here, instead of Jack's house." 

"Because he's driving them crazy and he fell on the cat?" Ben asked. 

Dean took a breath, concerned about the fact that Ben didn't exactly seem excited. He didn't show much of a reaction at all, come to think of it. 

"Because it's more work than they were expecting, that's all. That's not Xander's fault, or theirs." Cas replied, "But it's a very big change, and of course we wouldn't want to go into this without discussing it with you." 

"Even with Claire around, you still get treated like an only child, this could be a lot harder for you." Dean said, choosing his words carefully. 

"Harder than getting told to stay in your room because company's over, and here's a sandwich?" Ben asked, surprising them both, "Yeah, I don't know if Xander told his mom about that one. Jack got really mad, and he was going to say something about it to his grandma, but his parents said if he didn't they would get him a new game." 

Dean did what he could to hide his reaction, but Cas gave his arm a squeeze. 

"So, you also think Xander would be better off here?" Cas asked. 

"Yeah... He can have the bigger room, I don't care, I got the game-cave." 

"This isn't a solid plan yet, you understand? There's a lot we'd still have to do to make this happen, anything could throw this off. If Xander's mom's problems got better, he might go back to live with her, or it might be too much for us, or you guys just might not get along as well as you think you will. Nobody really knows what's gonna happen." Dean said, "Another thing is, we don't want to get his hopes up over nothing, so you're gonna need to keep this quiet." 

Ben shrugged, "Nobody at school wants to talk to me, anyway. Not with Trey as mad as he is." 

* * *

"All right, I got it, lean back." Kevin said, holding Claire's hair with one hand and a towel to her neck with the other.

She stretched out awkwardly on the narrow strip of clear counter, the base of her skull resting on the towel on the edge of the sink. 

"What if it gets caught in the garbage disposal?" Claire asked. 

"It can't, that's on the other side." 

"Oh... What if there's gross stuff in the drain and it gets in my hair?" 

"Then it'll wash out. Would you chill?" Kevin replied. 

"So do you do this with mannequins?" 

"Yeah, when we have to. But we practice on the other students, too." he replied, working the lather through her hair, "Pretty much everybody gets the temperature wrong, but I don't, so, you're really lucky it's me." 

"Yeah, I guess." Claire replied. 

Kevin reached for the sprayer again, "You should relax. You'll live longer." 

"I can't." 

"Okay, so if I find any stress-induced bald spots, do I tell you, or just assume you already know?" 

"I don't have any stress-induced bald spots." Claire answered. 

"Okay... And it's my pre-professional opinion you need a trim." 

"I bet." 

Kevin suddenly lisped in a very effeminate voice, "So, are you going anywhere fun for Christmas?" 

"What?" 

Kevin shrugged, "Messing with you." 

* * *

Alfie got the car back onto the road, headed for home as Margaret started digging through the bags.

"Mike can't wait, huh?" 

"No, the noodles can wait, but if they forgot my egg rolls again, I'm gonna call them and cry about it." Margaret replied. 

"So I should drive you over there first thing in the morning and you can cry at them in person?" 

Margaret started giggling, "Right, like you're going to be doing anything tomorrow." 

"What?" 

"Nothing." 

"No, what does that mean?" Alfie asked as she started shaking her head, "C'mon, what is that about?" 

"Just, um... Well, Claire kinda said she can handle her razor again, so, y'know." Margaret answered, "Sorry, just looks like you guys are gonna have a late night." 

"Her razor?" 

"Uh, yeah, the whole Wookiee jokes thing? I mean, I told her it's no big deal, but she's really picky. I don't know." Margaret replied. She'd expected a chuckle, at least, but only heard a confused silence. She looked up to find Alfie carrying a look of concern, "You didn't know?" 

"Know what?" 

"That, uh, she was, um, sticking to her P.J.s until her wrist healed up enough to shave her legs and pits? She didn't tell you?" 

"No, she didn't." 

Margaret's eyebrows went up briefly, but she shook her head, "Man, that girl has got some baggage." 

"Yeah, she does." Alfie replied softly. 

It wasn't long before they were back in the driveway, and headed inside when they both heard a car door, and turned to look. 

"Maggie!" Henry Danes was approaching from a car a couple of houses down at a fast pace, and Alfie motioned for the door even as Margaret slowed to a stop. 

Alfie stepped closer to her, not sure what her plan was, but ready for anything. The much larger man stopped within a few feet of her, which Alfie was glad for. 

Margaret stayed silent as her father looked her over, "God, you weren't kidding... Who's this clown?" 

"Bozo. Nice to meet you." Alfie replied. 

"Maggie, it's one thing to walk out, it's another not to talk to us at all." 

Margaret shrugged and looked away. 

"Maggie!... Aren't you going to say anything? You have no idea how hard this has been on your mother and me." 

Margaret started laughing, "Hard on you? Really? I had no idea. You know my sister won't even talk to me? And you're the asshole who kicked me out, remember? I told you, this is permanent. I don't want you or mom anywhere near me. You're dead to me. And if you don't leave me alone, I'm calling the cops." 

"I am not some stalker, I'm your father, damn it!" Henry snapped. 

Margaret took on an anger Alfie had never seen before, emphasizing each word, "Persistent... Unwanted... Contact! I have a witness saying I've specifically told you to leave me alone, and a boyfriend who can talk circles around you about that unhealthy enmeshment stuff, so, get lost." 

"This is how you talk to me? After everything I've done for you?" 

Margaret set her hand on her hip, "You? You took away as many of my choices as possible, and told me I was only any good at stuff when it was what you wanted me to do. Now, I'm learning what an awesome person I am, without you around to make me question it, and Kevin is right about everything!" 

"Oh, he's right about everything?" Henry thundered. 

"Somebody's gonna call the cops." Alfie said quietly. 

"Yeah he is. And thank goodness for that, so my baby's not gonna wind up some chauvinistic meathead!" Margaret answered. 

"Is that right? You wanna say a chauvinistic meathead raised you? Took care of you?" 

"Don't give me that crap! When I chipped the bone in my ankle coming off that balance beam, you made fun of me for not walking to the car! I tried to stay off it like the doctor said, and you called me a quitter!" 

"I was right! You quit!" 

"I quit because you didn't care if I got hurt!" 

"You're doing this because you're hormonal, now get in the car, we're going home, you have to talk to your mother." Henry said, pointing down the street. 

Alfie turned around at the sound of the front door and footsteps, but turned back to the argument right away. 

"I live here, dad. I have a lease." 

"You're under twenty-one, I'm gonna report you as a runaway." 

"That's a load of horse shit, but knock yourself out. All I have to do is show my driver's license and they'll leave." 

Claire and Kevin had come outside, and Alfie was trying his best to stay close enough that he could get between the two if he thought it would help, but the raised voices had him unnerved. Kevin had come close enough to be noticed, but held back, confident that this was Margaret's fight, but in sight to provide moral support. 

Henry reached forward, taking a hard grip of Margaret's upper arm, and suddenly found a very tight grip on his wrist. The hand was Claire's. 

"You wanna get yourself charged with assault, honey?" he asked in a growl, "Or you wanna let go?" 

Claire raised the hand that was still in a cast, pointing to her own hand, and then to his where is sat on Margaret's arm, "So, this, here, this is assault? Then what's that, exactly? Especially from somebody twice her size?" 

"That's different." 

"You're right. Because I'm not trying to force you to leave your home. Pretty sure that's kidnapping. Also pretty sure those two weirdos would climb on your car before you even got her in it while I call the sheriff's office. So, what are you gonna do next?" 

Henry let go, and backed up as Claire did the same, jabbing a finger at Margaret, "She has been dodging her family's calls, and didn't even call on Thanksgiving." 

"Yeah, I know, she was at my house, for the heathen convention." Claire replied. 

Margaret started for the door as her father called after her, unable to do much else as Alfie blocked him, "Maggie, I'm gonna be back every day if you don't call once a week! You can do that much for the people who raised you!" 

* * *


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Stuck in bed for a couple days, knocked out an entire chapter in just a few hours, wow...
> 
> Also, I realized I had gotten Ch40 written, if not posted, and still had no summary... There's a summary now... 
> 
> I really want Dr Thompson to bring back the air horn, but I don't know if he'll need it. The communication has been pretty good, lately. 
> 
> Off to write something graphic for the honeymoon. Love you guys! FW)

* * *

Claire stripped off her pajama shirt in the darkened room as she climbed onto the bed, quickly moving closer to Alfie. She was fairly surprised when Alfie suddenly wrapped his arms firmly around her waist and rolled onto his side, keeping her too close to let her move, his face pressed against her upper chest.

"Um... what are you doing?" Claire asked quietly in the stillness. 

Alfie responded with only a tighter squeeze for a few seconds. 

"So, even though it's been weeks, you're not interested?" 

"Not tonight." 

Claire considered how clingy Alfie would occasionally get after Kevin and Margaret had broken up. She had originally thought it was some sort of transference, and he was only afraid they'd do the same, but she was also aware of how much his parents used to argue any time they were both home. Kevin had told her privately how much it rattled Alfie, and the reaction seemed to be similar. 

She brushed his hair back from his face before settling her arm around the back of his shoulders, "I love you, and I'm not going anywhere." 

"I know." Alfie muttered. 

"No you don't, or you wouldn't get like this, acting like I'm gonna disappear." 

"Sorry." Alfie whispered, starting to pull away. 

Claire tightened her arm, "Where do you think you're going?" 

Alfie shrugged, and adjusted his arms against her bare skin. Claire gave a quick jerk as he suddenly pressed him thumb into her armpit. 

"What the hell was that for?" 

"Checking for stubble." he replied. 

"What?" 

Alfie shrugged, "Why does Margaret know more about why you've been avoiding getting close to me for the last couple of weeks than I do?" 

"Because you don't shave your legs." 

Alfie nodded, backing up just enough to catch her eyes, "So why would I care if you didn't?" 

"Because on a girl, it's gross." 

"You're not gross. Human bodies grow hair. Women didn't even start shaving anything until a hundred years ago. If it's that big a deal, I could've helped you with it." 

"I'm not gonna let you shave me, weirdo." 

"If you said something, I would have told you to borrow a card and go to a salon, get waxed, or lasered, whatever made you happy, or you could have just told me that was bugging you, and I would have stopped trying to start anything for a while, instead of feeling like I was harassing you." 

"Take off your pants." 

"No." 

"Why?" 

"Because I haven't shaved my legs." 

Claire gave an exasperated sigh, "You're being ridiculous." 

"Yeah, I am, but I'm not hiding it." Alfie replied with a hint of a grin. 

* * *

"When was this?" Dean asked, taking a deep breath before starting another set.

"This morning." Cas answered from his spot in the doorway of the garage, staring in such a manner it seemed it had never crossed his mind not to, "She said they aren't going to wait until New Years, under the assumption that he'll settle in easier." 

"And you told her?" Dean asked with a small grunt. 

"I did." Cas replied, "Claire's going to be home tonight to move some more of her things, I'll tell her then." 

"So, when?" 

"I called to ask about that today, it seems that once you're past the three-day waiting period, you can just come in with it in hand on a Tuesday or a Thursday." Cas replied. 

"So, we go in for the paper Monday, go back with the kids on Thursday?" Dean asked, coming to a stop and sitting up. 

"I suppose we could wait a week and go on the following Tuesday." 

Dean shook his head, "I hate Tuesdays." 

Cas shrugged, "Then Thursday it is... There's more..." 

"More?" 

"Yes... I know you brought it up first, but she also mentioned the possibility of filing it as an adoption, rather than guardianship." 

"Maybe we better take this one step at a time. Tell Claire, get the license, sort things out here first, and then after we get him here, we can think about it again." 

* * *

"You're moving Claire out, and moving the wedding up by six months, so you can take in the child that got hurt in the junk yard a month ago?" Dr Thompson's expression seemed mildly surprised, but otherwise unreadable.

"Basically." Dean replied. 

"It was over a month ago. Almost two." Cas answered. 

Claire shook her head, "Technically, that doesn't sound any better." 

"It does sound a little fast." Dr Thompson said, nodding, "Claire, you're moving where?" 

"Dean's old place, in the junk yard." 

"To live alone? Or will you have a roommate?" 

"My boyfriend's moving there, too." 

Dr Thompson gestured to Cas and Dean, "And the 'dads' are okay with that?" 

"She's an adult." Cas answered, "Nevermind the fact that they started dating before we did." 

"And Ben?" Dr Thompson asked, turning to the youngest family member in the room, "How does all of this sound, to you?" 

"Um... Cool, I guess?... I mean, I get to hang out with Xander, and I know he needs help sometimes, but, so did my mom, so... And if Claire wants to do a movie night over at Bobby's old house like we used to, I can walk there, I can't walk to any of my friends' houses... But, I don't know, um..." Ben turned slightly in his seat to look at Claire, "Can Xander come too, sometimes?" 

"Yeah, of course." Claire answered quickly. 

"Then, yeah, I think it's cool." 

Dr Thompson looked around the room at the four of them with a nod, "Well, you're all completely nuts." 

"Called it." Dean said quietly. 

"Is Xander as off-the-wall as the rest of you?" 

"Xander is a good kid." Dean started, seemingly looking for more to say. 

Cas chimed in before he could continue, "Yes, he does seem to get dragged along into certain activities, but mostly, that has to do with-" 

"My fault." Ben interrupted gently, "Me and Jack, we, um, we get up to stuff, and Xander just kind of goes along with it." 

"Yeah, but how much of that was Trey putting you up to it in the first place?" Dean asked, turning to Ben. 

"About half." Ben muttered. 

Dean shrugged, "Okay, well... We'll work on that." 

"Ben," Dr Thompson asked, making a note on his clipboard, "If I were to ask you who you get the most quality time with right now, who do you think that would be? And it's okay with you don't want to say." 

"Cas." Ben answered quickly, "Because I see him at school, and sometimes I ride with him instead of taking the bus, and he helped me with the rabbit Nick bit." 

Dr Thompson nodded, "And anyone you'd want to spend more time with?" 

"My video games. I haven't seen those in days." Ben chuckled. 

"You know why." Dean muttered. 

* * *

"Thursday?" Randy asked, looking up from the office couch, "No. Why?"

"I'm not sure I want to say just yet." Alfie replied. 

Claire scoffed, "The old guys are eloping, Alfie's throwing the party, but it's a surprise, so, don't tell Dean, my dad, or Ben." 

"If it's a surprise, how are they going to invite people from Cas' work?" Margaret asked. 

"I put the word out to his friend Charlie, she's rounding up people." Claire replied, "And I snuck Dean's phone out of his desk long enough to call his brother, so, they'll be there." 

"I don't suppose they're registered anywhere?" Randy asked, "And what do you get them, anyway? It's not like they need a blender or a toaster." 

"His and His coffee mugs, I dunno." Ivan said, suddenly appearing in the opening of the hallway leading from the office, cleaning grime off a part with a red rag. 

"So, you need a plus-one, or a plus-two?" Alfie asked. 

"Um... You really want a kid there? I mean, are they cool with that?" Ivan replied. 

"The ceremony's at the court house, so, nothing important to cry and scream through, and you can shut her up with cake." Claire said with a shrug, "Pretty sure they both like kids, anyway." 

"Okay, then, plus-two, but we might leave early if she's cranky." Ivan answered. 

"Cyndi, or Julie?" Claire asked. 

"Very funny." Ivan replied. 

"So, just getting as many people as possible?" Margaret asked, "Because Linda might go." 

"After Thanksgiving, I already had her on the list." Alfie answered, "I just wasn't sure about calling Kip, if he's still in town." 

The room was silent for a moment before Randy spoke up, "You think he's still using? ...If you knew he cleaned up, I'd say go for it, but if not, and you bring him around Ben, Dean's gonna be pissed." 

Lucas nodded, "He's right. I wouldn't call Kip." 

"Okay... Anybody think of anyone else who should go, make sure to tell me, Claire's going to tell them about it after the ceremony in case they think of anyone they'd like to have there, she'll keep a copy of the guest list in her phone, and then we all meet up at the hotel ballroom at seven." Alfie said quietly. 

"Heh, ballroom." Lucas muttered, earning a slap to his shoulder from Randy. 

* * *

Claire had taken an hour to get the rest of Dean's few scattered things out of the master bath, closet, and left the box downstairs, but found herself staring at the single-handgun safe on the dresser.

The front door opened and then closed again, and she recognized the footsteps on the stairs as Alfie's before he entered the room, greeting her with his usual shy smile. 

"Hey... What do we do with this?" she asked, gesturing to the black metal box. 

"Take it to their house?" 

"Yeah, but, Ben... And soon, Xander's gonna be there too." 

Alfie shrugged, "Dean had Ben here with Bobby's whole collection for a couple years, not a big deal. Ben knows how to shoot, too." 

"Ben can use a gun?" 

"Dean said it's best way to keep kids from being curious about them." 

Claire shook her head, "He's an idiot." 

Alfie shrugged, "Maybe, but it's his kid. He keeps them locked up, anyway, it's not like Ben was running around with them loose." 

"It's just... I don't know, I don't want the guns around Ben." 

"Did you ever um... Y'know, get a diagnosis on that thing we talked about?" Alfie asked gently, leaning on the doorframe. 

"Yeah, I did. The official story is that I _had_ PTSD, apparently sometimes it's temporary, and it's not considered full-blown anymore." Claire said softly, stepping closer and shifting the safe, "Not even bolted to the wall... Didn't Kip take a couple of Bobby's rifles?" 

"Yeah, but Dean reported it, got them back from the pawn shop, and he didn't press charges." 

"I would have." 

"Yeah, well, you're not him." Alfie replied, "We can get all of them out of here, if it makes you nervous." 

"Does it make you nervous?" 

"No." 

"Tell the truth." 

"You wouldn't shoot me. You probably wouldn't know how to turn off the safety." 

"Bobby gave me a gun the first time I met him. Found out later it didn't have a firing pin. My dad freaked out when I told him, and he didn't know what to do, he had to get Dean to come get it out of the house... Dean said I could have it back someday, if I was doing okay, but I don't think he told my dad that part." 

"Do you know which one it was?" 

Claire shook her head, "He probably knows." 

"Well... um... I'm okay with guns in the house if you are." 

"Assuming Dean wants to keep them here, or trusts me." Claire replied. 

"He trusts you, he kept letting you come over here to watch Ben with all the guns here." 

Claire looked behind her at three long firearms on the wall, "So, we just leave them where they are? Or move them out to the big safe in the garage?" 

"Are they loaded?" Alfie asked. 

* * *

Ben sat alone with his lunch tray, ready for the hissed insults and snuck shoulder slugs and pelted vegetables.

A few came, and while it hurt, he ignored it, instead focusing on his meal, and his plans for the afternoon. 

He looked up, startled, when a tray was set down loudly in front of him. Millie dropped into her seat, seemingly ignoring him. 

"What's up?" he asked, quietly enough that he wasn't certain she'd hear. 

"Jack says he's waiting until the pressure's off, then he wants to hang out." she answered, "He's not getting much better treatment, everybody thinks it was his parents that called the cops." 

"It wasn't a parent... Anyway, Jack likes you, he's too chicken to ask you out." 

"Yeah, I know. But I tried to get him to go to a pool party with last summer, and he made fun of me, so, sucks to be him... So it was you?" 

"You're gonna get me killed if you tell anybody." 

"Oh yeah, Trey and his jerkwad eighth graders would smash your head into jello. Not smart to speak up on that. You should move to Zimbabwe." 

"Why Zimbabwe?" Ben asked. 

"Because it's fun to say... Anyway... Your step-dad told my folks I was out with a bunch of kids instead of saying I was hanging out in an alley with three boys, so I didn't get sent to my aunt's private all-girls school, so, that was cool of him. Can you give him a note from me?" 

Ben shrugged, "I can just tell him you said thanks." 

"Actually, I need to rat somebody out, myself. He'd help, right?" 

Ben nodded, "Who are you ratting out?" 

"I don't want to say." Millie replied, shifting her tray enough to shift an envelope out from under it, which Ben quickly slipped under his own, "You'll really be helping me out." 

"Talking to me isn't helping you out at all." 

Millie shrugged, "I can pretend I was over here giving you crap." 

Ben nodded, getting up, "Great... I'll tell everybody how you were mean to me, and pass it on when I get home." 

Approaching the trash, he slipped the envelope inside his open flannel shirt, pinning it to his ribs with his elbow. 

* * *

Claire carried the cardboard box inside and put it down on the coffee table as Cas came out of the kitchen, "Oh good, I was wondering when you'd be over."

"Yeah, where do you want this thing?" she asked, turning around to point to the small gun safe Alfie was carrying. 

Cas shook his head, "I don't know what to do with that." 

"Well, this one isn't Bobby's, it's Dean's. He said to bring it over." Alfie said quietly. 

"Technically they're all Dean's, but I understand what you mean." Cas answered, "I suppose you can leave it there with the rest, I doubt Ben would know how to get into it." 

As if on cue, heavy footsteps came down the stairs, "Get into what?" 

"Your father's gun safe." 

"Oh... Yeah, I know the combo." Ben replied. 

"You know the combo to the safe where he keeps the one gun he actually uses?" Alfie asked. 

"Yeah." Ben answered, "Just in case." 

Ben handed a folded-in-half white envelope to Cas, who accepted it, "What's this?" 

"It's from a kid at school. They needed to tell you something, but I don't know, they want to be anonymous or whatever." 

"Ben, depending on what it is, I'll need to know who it's from, you understand that, don't you?" 

"Yeah, but you might not." he answered, continuing to the kitchen. 

Cas opened the envelope, and read through the note quickly, "Well, that explains the Chuck Norris valentines..." 

"Chuck Norris valentines?" Alfie asked. 

Cas nodded, "Yes, turns out someone is using them to pick on the young lady with a birthmark on her face. The student who wrote this doesn't want to be identified because the person picking on the girl is their cousin. But it's all here, I can shut this down tomorrow." 

Ben reappeared with a soda, "So, does it matter who it is?" 

"No, I know who it is, but she can keep her anonymity. And if you speak to her, tell her know it's being handled." 

Claire's eyebrows went up, "Ben, you got girl-trouble?" 

"Ben has friend-trouble, as far as I can tell, gender doesn't enter into it." Cas answered for him. 

The front door was suddenly closing again, and Dean spotted the box and safe on the coffee table, "Hey, thanks for bringing those over." 

"Ben knows how to get the gun out?" Claire asked. 

"Yeah, he does." Dean answered, "Just for emergencies." 

"Oh. So if it's not an emergency, the safe won't open?" 

"Claire, now's not the time." Cas said. 

Dean shrugged it off, "So I was talking to Margaret, she's going to change her emergency contact to Kevin, and she mentioned you're gonna be there for the birth?" 

"Um, yeah. Not like she's talking to her mom right now." Claire replied. 

"Is that really a good idea?" Cas asked. 

"Last I checked, it was kind of a woman-centric thing, so, yeah, I think it is. Not like I haven't seen blood and guts before, I mean," Claire gestured to her hand, "Saw my own tendons recently." 

"I'm more concerned about areas of previous injuries and serious mental trauma." Cas replied. 

Alfie tapped Ben's shoulder and gestured upstairs, "I can, um-..." 

"No," Cas said, "Ben, you need to go occupy yourself elsewhere for a few minutes, Alfie, take a seat. I'm sure this affects you as well." 

Claire rolled her eyes, dropping into the closest chair as Ben went for the back door, "Yeah, this is gonna be a fun conversation." 

"Claire, you need to take this seriously." 

"I don't have to. She's popping out the kid, the doctor's there to catch, I just hand her ice-chips or whatever, or slap Kevin if he starts to freak out. Besides, it was her idea, since Kevin can't make the Lamaze class work with his school stuff." 

"So while your friend is in labor, most likely bleeding, possibly screaming from the pain, you're going to be at her bedside, holding her hand, entirely helpless to ease that pain, and you didn't consider the way in which this might affect you? To be in the room while a friend is suffering that way? ...I don't know the detail of the extent of what you've been through, Claire, but some things, I can guess, and I am very concerned about this." 

"Birth and rape are two completely different things, and if I have to explain that to you-" 

"Claire, you're shaking." Cas said quickly. 

Claire looked down at her hands, which had taken on a rough tremble, "Look, I don't want to get into this right now. But it's different, there's doctors and nurses, and it's just... It's not the same." 

"It's also something you're not familiar with, if you don't see a similarity." Cas said slowly, "I am not trying to scare you, and I don't want to make you doubt yourself, if you ever decide to have children of your own, but it's one thing to go through something that difficult, but watching it happen to someone you care about, and being unable to help them..." 

"Hang on a second, you said you weren't there when I was born." Claire said, looking up, "So, how do you know?" 

"Because I was there for a friend's birth while her husband was deployed. I was very close to both of them. They had to move to the east coast a few years ago. She told me later that she had felt calm and in control, but, honestly, it didn't sound like it, and it certainly didn't look like it. It was very difficult to be there, and given your history, you may have it much harder." 

"Kind of par for the course, actually." Dean piped up, looking as though he didn't want to even be in the room. 

"Maybe you couldn't handle it because you're guys. Margaret's gonna love this one, telling her how my dads sat me down in front of my boyfriend to talk about how scary girl-parts are." Claire suggested with a hint of attitude. 

Dean shook his head, "No, you're not getting out of it like that. You remember trying to hold Xander's head shut? Remember thinking it was Ben? Like that. But not for the, I dunno, minute or two it took us to get out there, more like twelve to, say, twenty two and a half hours." 

Claire shook her head, "She asked for my support, and I said I'd do it. I'm not going to leave her hanging." 

"I'm not asking you to abandon her." Cas said reassuringly, "You may be right, you may be able to do this for her, and you're a good friend to try, but consider the toll it could have on you, be clear with her about your limitations, and know when to stop, or take a break, and have a backup plan." 

Dean turned to Alfie, "You see how this involves you, right?" 

"Yeah, I get that. Could bring on the nightmares or panicky stuff, and I should probably hang out in the waiting room in case it gets bad and she tries to tough it out, making it worse." Alfie said quietly, "I kind of had an idea this might be an issue, I just didn't want to say anything." 

"Okay, well, good for you for thinking ahead." Dean said, reaching for the gun safe, and pressing several buttons on top at once. The door on the side dropped open, and he pulled out a silver pistol with intricate western engraving, checking over it carefully. 

"Dean?... Do you have to do that right now?" Cas asked, gesturing to Alfie. 

Dean shrugged, "Aw, c'mon, at this point he's practically family... And if he screws up that bad, Claire's got dibs." 

Alfie attempted a laugh, but all that came out was an anxious cough, "So, um, with all the guns over there, we were wondering if you wanted to leave them there, or store them somewhere else, but we're bo-" 

"Did you want to learn to shoot?" Dean asked abruptly, looking up, directing his question to Claire. 

"What, right now?" Claire asked. 

Dean shrugged, "Why not? We've got some time before dinner." 

"Because I'm still a south-paw until further notice?" 

"Oh... Actually, now that I think about it, that sprain is probably still healing, too. Okay, rain check." 

"Yeah, absolutely." Claire replied, "Cars, guns, beer. That's what family's all about, right dad?" 

Cas got up, shaking his head slightly, "I have to check on the roast." 

Alfie leaned in a bit, "That's a really cool design, is it okay if I-?" 

"No." Dean said quickly. 

"Oh. Okay, sorry." Alfie said quietly. 

Dean chuckled, "No, I'm just messing with you." 

Dean removed the magazine and set it on the coffee table in one fluid movement and pulled back the slide to clear the single bullet from the chamber before passing the now emptied handgun to Alfie. 

* * *


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: So... I have the last few chapters blocked out, but as much as I'd love to end at 50 again, I think this one may be give or take a few. I don't want to rush or stretch the story. If I can get this done by GISHWHES, I will be taking a break during the hunt, but a third story is already in the works and I jump over to it for blocking things out when I need a break from this one, so... Booyah, Hellatus, and making the best of my new laptop!
> 
> Also started posting snipits of giggles and crap on my twitter, @FythyrWisp that has stuff on it I wouldn't waste your time with here.
> 
> Love you all! Be awesome! FW)

* * *

Cas looked down at the piece of paper in his hands with a small smile as they left the building, and Dean slipped an arm behind his back with a smirk.

"Two more days." Dean said quietly. 

"Maybe it'll snow... That'd be nice." 

"Slick roads, yeah, good idea." 

"You are taking the whole day, aren't you?" 

"No, I was gonna run over here on my lunch break, like today." Dean chuckled. 

Cas shook his head, "I don't ask much of you-" 

"I'm closing the shop, and Claire can run it this weekend. We might not be able to do anything big right now, but, that, I can do. Quality time... You're taking Friday, too, right?" 

"Of course. I have plans for you." 

An elderly man was doddering along the sidewalk, headed into the court house past them, unnoticed as Dean leaned in to kiss Cas softly. He cleared his throat, gaining both their attentions. 

"Did you two gentlemen just get married?" the old man asked, shifting his grip on his cane. 

"No." Dean replied, "We just picked up our marriage license. The wedding is later this week." 

The old man nodded, "Well, I was going to congratulate you, but instead, I'll say, congratulations in advance." 

"Thank you." Cas answered him. 

"Of course," the old man continued as he headed for the door, "I suppose with two fellas, though, you'll never have any fights about leaving the seat up on the commode." 

The door had barely swung shut behind him when Dean burst with laughter and Cas let out a chuckle. 

"I have to get back." Cas said as the laughter subsided. 

"Yeah, me too. I'll see you at home... I love you." 

"I love you, too, Dean." 

* * *

"You're not anxious about going, are you?" Ivan asked.

"A little, I guess?" Julie replied, running her fingers through his hair as he rested his head on her stomach where they'd gotten comfortable on the couch, "I mean, I don't have a lot of nice stuff that still fits, and... I don't know, I was such a complete-" 

"You fixed that. Claire, Alfie, they both said it's in the past, that makes it time to move on, right?" 

"It's not like I'm not happy for them, it's just... The guy fired me. And he was right to do it. I mean, how do you come back from that?" 

"Uh, you muscle through it, dress up nice, go, have a good time, eat some cake, and cut out early 'because bedtime,' and then the next time you see them, it's a little easier." Ivan replied, his hand on her ribs giving her a squeeze, "And anyway, I think Dean's past it, too." 

"How do you figure?" 

"Because he's been helping me drag bits and pieces out of the yard to cobble a working car together for you and the munchkin." 

"Are you serious? How much is that gonna cost?" Julie asked in a startled voice. 

"A Franken-junker? Hell, he'll just be glad for the space back. Any parts I can't scrounge or make do, anything that needs ordered, I get a decent discount, and it comes out of the paycheck. It'll be easy." 

Julie was quiet for a bit before she spoke again, "So, they don't even know the party is happening, what if they don't want me there?" 

"Alfie's throwing the reception, Claire is managing the guest list, they're the two people you messed up with, and they're both cool with you being there. You gotta stop worrying about it." 

"And Cyndi?" 

Ivan scoffed, "Who doesn't love Cyndi? Put her in that frilly tutu thing and watch her get frosting all over her face? People love that." 

* * *

The front door opened slowly, and Margaret poked her head out, "Yes?"

A woman in business attire with a domineering gaze looked her over, "I'm sorry, is this the Alford residence?" 

"Yes?" 

"I'm here to see Samandriel, I'm his aunt." 

"Oh," Margaret replied, opening the door a little wider, and offering her hand, "Naomi, right? Nice to meet you. I'm his roommate, Margaret." 

Naomi shook her hand with a nod, gave her belly an obvious glance and walked in, looking around as though she could expect anything at this point. She seemed unnerved by a lack of control over the situation. 

Claire came through the living room in a long tshirt and rumpled hair, headed to the kitchen, and Naomi's eyebrows shot up as she glanced back to Margaret. 

"Um, this is Claire, Alfie's girlfriend." Margaret said quietly, making Claire turn around. 

"Uh, hi?" Claire offered, surprised to see a stranger standing in the room. 

"This is Naomi." Margaret said, "Um, I'll get Alfie." 

"Alfie?" Naomi asked, watching her leave. She turned back to Claire, who, even as a rumpled mess still strongly resembled the now rumored 'girl in the car,' and the date who'd been photographed with her nephew at a show in Houston, "So... You're the girl who shook everything up, and kept him from leaving this backwoods nothing of a town?" 

Claire nodded, "He likes it here. We're moving into a junk yard together to be hipster rednecks." 

Kevin wandered in, shirtless and yawning, and spotting Naomi, carefully rearranged his startled features to look cheerful, "Aunt Gnomey! Hey! Where's my snuggle?" 

"Is there something I can help you with, Kevin?" Naomi replied with acid in her voice. 

"You could slap my ass really hard and call me Betty." Kevin replied with a shrug. 

Alfie entered the room rather quickly, looking disheveled, but very much awake, and not in the best mood. Naomi looked him over, becoming less impressed with each passing moment since she'd gotten off the plane early that morning, and looked around at the other three in the room before turning back to him with a shake of her head, "I realize it's early, but you... You're a mess." 

"Yeah, orgies really wear me out. Why are you here?" Alfie asked. 

"You called me asking for my help to throw a-" she looked around the room again, and gave a questioning motion with her head. 

"They all know." he answered. 

"-A surprise wedding reception, and you didn't think I'd come out here to check up on you?" 

"You thought it was for me?" Alfie asked with a chuckle. 

"I didn't know what to think." 

"I told you it wasn't, don't you trust me?" 

"Why would I?... Who's getting married?" Naomi asked. 

"Claire's dad. He's marrying Dean." 

"Dean's gay?" Naomi asked skeptically, "The man's wardrobe is flannel, denim, and grease." 

"Dean's not gay, he's bi." Claire answered, "My dad's gay, though, if that makes any difference." 

Kevin had wandered around behind Naomi, and, not caring much for her attitude, or her usual treatment of Alfie, decided to continue to pester her, "I'm not gay, I just pretend to be for beauty school. But you really need to touch up your roots, especially if you're staying for the wedding. I can help with that. Also, you have some split ends and breakage. What kind of conditioner are you using?" 

Naomi heard him out, but ignored him, addressing Alfie instead, "So you won't mind me hanging around behind the scenes and managing things with the hotel and vendors, then, will you?" 

"Knock yourself out, just keep out of the party. You're kind of a buzzkill." Alfie replied, "Did you want the guest room or mom's room?" 

"I'm staying at the hotel." 

"Good choice." Alfie replied gruffly. 

Naomi looked to Claire once again, "Are you going to put some clothes on at any point?" 

Kevin piped up again, fussing with the long bangs Naomi had pinned behind her ear, "Not if we're lucky." 

Margaret laughed, but suddenly ran a hand over her stomach as she'd been doing after particularly hard kicks lately. 

Naomi rolled her eyes, and in an antagonized voice declared to no one in particular, "Is someone going to explain the pregnancy, or am I going to have to forget my manners and ask?" 

"It's mine." Kevin said nonchalantly, moving to stand next to Alfie. 

"Thank god." Naomi muttered. 

"Both of them are." Kevin continued, rubbing his hand over Alfie's stomach protectively, "I've been busy." 

* * *

Cas came around the corner just in time. He'd had a good idea the time frame he needed, but he'd been delayed.

Two girls were trying to close a locker full of water balloons without popping any of them, and in the otherwise empty hallway, knew they were caught, and froze, their hushed giggles giving way to simultaneous looks of fear. 

"Kirsti Gibbons and Quinn Salvatore... That locker doesn't belong to either of you. What are you doing?" Cas asked. 

Neither answered, exchanging helpless looks. 

"I'm giving you a chance to tell the truth." 

One of them spoke up, "We're just, y'know, playing a prank on a friend." 

"Is that right?" Cas asked, "What's in the balloons?" 

"Water." the other girl answered quickly. 

"Then why do you both reek of bleach?" Cas asked firmly. 

The first girl spoke up again, "It's not like that, this was just a prank, Aubrey shoved me over a trash can the other day, and so, we were just going to get her back, that's all." 

"I'm not convinced at all that those balloons are filled with water, but since we can't risk them falling and getting bleach all over you, as it causes a very serious reaction for some people, you're going to have to hold the locker door where it is and wait for one of the custodians." Cas said, crossing his arms, "In the meantime, we can discuss appropriate consequences." 

"It's just a prank!" one of the girls insisted. 

"Super gluing a quarter to a sidewalk is a prank. Breaking into another student's locker to destroy their belongings and attack them with cleaning chemicals is not a prank, nor will it be overlooked." Cas replied firmly. 

"But she started it!" 

"I've also received a note explaining the heart shaped pictures of Chuck Norris that have been cropping up around the school, and that while a symmetrical heart would have been easier to cut out, these were made to emulate Aubrey's birth mark. Is that right?" 

The girls shared another deer-in-the-headlights look before one turned back to him, "We don't know anything about that." 

"Your names are attached, and you've been caught setting a potentially very harmful trap in her locker, this doesn't look good for either of you, however she might be involved." Cas answered. 

One of the custodians came around the corner wheeling a large lined garbage can, as previously planned, and began transferring the balloons one at a time to the garbage can, even as one of them burst, splattering his sleeve. The fumes made it obvious that bleach was very potent, and soon a color change began to show in the cloth. 

* * *

Thursday afternoon Cas pulled Ben from his last class five minutes before the bell, and informed him he'd already been signed out as they were leaving.

"How much time are we going to have to get ready?" Ben asked, buckling his seat belt. 

"How much time does it take to put on a suit?" Cas asked. 

"I dunno... Claire might slow things down, though, y'know, all the hair and makeup stuff." 

"Claire's not at the house, I think Margaret's helping her with her makeup. Alfie's house is closer to the college and the court house." Cas replied. 

"So, are you guys going on a trip? Like over the break?" Ben asked. 

"No... We're going to put that off, or maybe have a renewal in a couple of years and have a larger ceremony and a reception. Time will tell." 

Ben nodded, "I saw pictures of my mom and dad's wedding, there wasn't a lot of people, but they had one of those tall cakes and stuff... That could be cool. Like how they do stuff on T.V... Kind of like the really big fancy stuff they had at Uncle Sam and Aunt Jess' wedding." 

"Well... I think everyone wants a picture-perfect life, but the reality is, sometimes the things that really matter most get in the way of 'perfect.' It's for the best." Cas said. 

Arriving home, Ben flew up the stairs and changed as quickly as he could. Dean was already downstairs, and Cas only needed to change his jacket and tie, even though Dean suggested he was fine as-is. 

Ben was nearly ready when he found a problem and ran back downstairs, "My shoelace snapped." 

"What?" Dean fussed, taking the offending shoe, "We're gonna be late, just go put your sneakers back on." 

"Are you sure?" 

"It's a court house wedding, Ben, nobody's gonna care." 

Ben shrugged and ran back upstairs to throw his shoes on, and came back down only to have Dean start fussing with his hair. 

"Dad! You're gonna mess it up!" 

"Looks like you already did." Dean replied, giving a small shake of his head and hurrying them all out the door. 

Ben stared out the window as Dean's car made the drive back into town, soon arriving at the court house, listening quietly as the two of them discussed where to have dinner afterward. It felt surreal to Ben to hear it, as though it were any other day, a simple trip to the court house to finalize some legal papers and then a dinner out at a restaurant made it sound like such a routine thing. It saddened him, as he was sure there should be more to it. 

Pulling into the parking lot, Cas spotted Claire's car where she was standing talking to Sam and Jess, and headed over to speak to her as Dean pulled Ben aside. 

"Here. Put this in your pocket. Don't lose it." Dean said, handing him a small black velvet box. 

"Is that the ring?" 

"Yeah. Hold onto it for me until it's time." 

"I thought that the best man is supposed to do that? And Uncle Sam's here." 

Dean gave him an overly patient look, "You don't want to be my best man?" 

It clicked, "You're picking me over your brother?" 

"He got to do it last time." 

"Oh... Okay, yeah, I'll do it." Ben replied. 

The group gathered and headed inside the court house, and before Ben knew it, they were inside a small office with a man he didn't know standing in front of a desk. No one was seated, everyone sort of milled around, except for Cas and Dean, who stood facing each other, and also, sort of, the officiant. 

The justice of the peace began speaking, reading from a small black book and a small, folded piece of paper Cas had passed him, and Ben was soon lost in the words. He looked around, trying not to look bored, as occasionally happened when he got anxious. 

Claire looked happy and confident, she had dressed up, but her cast was starting to look a little dingy and threw off her usual look. Sam and Jess also seemed pleased, and Jess was tearing up a little. Looking back about forth between Dean and Cas, from what he could see of their faces, there was something there, something he didn't quite get. 

He had the idea down that there was a love you had for a family member, a love you had for a pet, for a close friend, for those near and dear to you, and there was a like that you had for people you knew that was completely different for the like you had when you thought somebody was hot. But past that, there was supposed to be a love between people who would maybe get married, maybe not, and it was supposed to be forever. Obviously not in all cases, or divorce wouldn't be a thing- and, oh, ring time... Ben wondered if everybody got to have that kind of love in their life, and if it could happen more than one time. Cas was so different from his mother, he wondered sometimes if one of the two relationships meant more to Dean than the other, but not wanting to risk hurting feelings, he never spoke of it. It was a question he couldn't bear to ask... He had so many questions... 

"... And now, buy the power vested in me by the state, I pronounce you married. You may kiss your husband." As usual, Ben found somewhere else to look, even as Jess let out a squeak and started clapping. But the officiant wasn't finished, "Now, as you've asked, we'll take a moment for you to address the children." 

No one had warned Ben, and glancing at Claire, he didn't think anyone had told her, either. 

"Did you want to go first? Or should I?" Dean asked Cas quietly, and Ben had barely caught it. 

"Go ahead." Cas replied in kind. 

Dean nodded, and waved Claire closer, setting a hand on her shoulder, as he pulled another small, handwritten note from his jacket pocket, "Claire... As I marry your father today, I also take you into my life as my daughter, to, uh, to guide you, care for you, and love you as my own child, for the rest of my life." 

Ben felt a tug at his emotions hearing this, and found it incredibly touching, well aware that Dean was also adopting her legally. She wiped at the corner of her eye and stepped closer for a hug. Ben heard her whisper something, but he couldn't make out what it was. As Claire stepped back, Ben smiled, pleased to think how close they'd all grown as a family, until Cas turned him- Crap... He wasn't sure what he felt, but tough wasn't it. When had his brain turned into such a wimp? All of a sudden he wanted the security blanket he'd carried until he was nearly five. 

He stepped closer, as Claire had done, figuring he just needed to hold it together for a few more minutes and they'd be done. Not that he cared that much about some floofy fancy ceremony, right? Even without flowers, he was certain weddings had to be a female invention, it was all just so girly. 

"Ben," Cas said, setting a hand on his shoulder, the same as Dean had done. They planned this. Jerks... "As I marry your father today, I also take you into my life as my son, to guide you, to care for you, and to love you as my own child, for the rest of my life." 

At this profession of familial love, the dam burst, and Ben, as much as he hated it, had tears running down his face as Cas pulled him into a tight hug, and he couldn't help a small sob as the officiant snatched a box of tissues from his desk. Stupid emotional puberty. Crying like a baby all because somebody said they loved you and wanted to be your parent. Stupid quality time with them proving that they meant every word of it. And stupid Aunt Jess cooing over it and calling it sweet, too. 

"It's okay, son," the officiant whispered, as Ben tried to hide his face, "I've seen some real big, tough guys break down and cry like a baby in here over the years, you're no less a man for it." 

Not much later, heading for the parking lot, Claire spoke up, "So... got a surprise for you two... Alfie's throwing you a reception at the hotel, booked the ballroom and got a band to play, a cake, everything for a decent party. I also called Charlie and had her get the word out, and we got a decent headcount, but everything's been arranged for extra people, so, if there's anyone who isn't on the guest list, you have a couple hours to call them." 

"How could you possibly throw something together that fast?" Cas asked. 

"We had four days, and Alfie put his aunt on it, she has nothing to do but meddle, and this gave her an excuse to come out here and do that." 

"Oh, god." Dean muttered. 

"Chill, she's here to pester Alfie, not you." Claire assured him, doing something on her phone, "Anyway, I sent you the link to the online RSVP list Charlie set up, I added everybody from the shop, they said they'd go, just go through it and see if there's anyone missing." 

Cas' phone chirped, and he opened the link, scrolling through as Dean watched the screen over his shoulder. 

"Woah... You really did get word out to everybody, huh?" Dean commented. 

* * *

Gabe looked up from his desk as the door slid open, not expecting to see Cas behind it.

"You're a little young for Alzheimer's." Gabe said, reclining his chair slightly, "What brings you back here?" 

"My daughter had Charlie sharing an online invitation around to my wedding reception, it's in a few hours." 

"Yeah." Gabe answered, "I saw that." 

"You declined." 

Gabe shrugged, "There was a note about it being a surprise, and saying not to tell you, which told me that you weren't the one making the guest list. And since I don't hardly know what's-his-face, and you didn't know I'd been invited, I figured we'd go for the Vegas excuse." 

"I'd like to know why." Cas asked. 

Gabe looked up at him with a slightly weary tone, "Because I'm done making you uncomfortable... On purpose, anyway. I did more than my fair share of that, and you never did fight back, so now that I'm past that, I get to live with a double dose of the guilt." 

"I would have fought back, but I was conflicted... Your birth father had just died, and you were my last living relative. Aside from Claire, you still are." 

"I know I told you I regret it, Cassie, but past that, I'm sorry we met when I didn't know how to be anything but a bastard twice over. Maybe if it had been a few years later, or as kids, we could've been okay." 

"We were good friends for three months, Gabe. Something changed in you when he died, didn't it?" Cas asked as Gabe looked away, "You can't tell me the two things weren't connected. It was two days later." 

"All I wanted since I found out as a kid was to get away from him, but there isn't any way to run from something that's inside you. I met him a couple of times, and I was always told to keep my mouth shut, never talk about it. Then, suddenly he was gone, I was never gonna have that asshole acknowledge my existence, not ever, and the only thing left of him in my life was his brother's kid. Of course I was gonna do everything I could to run you off." 

Cas turned slightly, looking around the room, before begrudgingly turning back to Gabe, "You may as well come to the reception. Several other colleagues will be there, it'll look odd if you don't." 

"I'm not ruining your party for you. Get drunk and call people names yourself." 

"I'm told the cake has a raspberry-lemon filling." 

Gabe looked up. 

"It's a wonder you don't have diabetes yet." Cas mused. 

"Yeah, still working on that like my life depends on it." Gabe replied, "Why are you here, anyway? You've made it clear we're not friends." 

"Earlier this week," Cas said, shifting to take a seat in front of the desk, "I had to handle a report of bullying, and after giving it some thought and some research, I realized, Polk has had an unusually low record of instances of bullying, for the entire two and a half years. The numbers I found online for similar areas... It's an anomaly. It's strongly discouraged, and dealt with promptly when it occurs. And in figuring this out, it also dawned on me why that is." 

"Okay, you got my attention. Why?" 

"Because I understand it, and I won't allow anyone to treat my students the way I've been treated. You had a hand in that, because, well, you were the worst. On the other hand, you also serve as a reminder that the children doing the bullying are capable of change, given the opportunity and enough motivation." Cas gave a somewhat dismissive gesture with his hand, "And while I can guarantee we will never be close, you have been trying to look out for me lately, as family is supposed to do... And what's a wedding without at least one disliked relative invited out of obligation? It's traditional." 

* * *

Claire walked up to the front desk in the small lobby and waited for the guest services clerk to finish a call. She hadn't recognized his voice, but later wondered why she hadn't. He turned around, his words quickly changing from professional to irritated, "How can I help you, ma'am?"

"Chaz... I didn't realize you worked here." Claire replied. 

"Well, maybe you didn't notice, with your limited social circle, but not everybody screws up cars for a living." he answered, "Let's make this quick, what do you want?" 

"I wanted to find out if anyone's here setting up for the reception in the larger ballroom yet, and how many rooms were added onto the bill." Claire said quickly. 

Chaz muttered an insult under his breath Claire was sure she'd never be able to prove, and pretended not to hear it as he brought something up on the computer, "Yeah, okay, some pantsuit is back there getting bossy, a linens rental place is setting up, and the caterers are scheduled to get here in ten minutes at the back entrance, and there's rooms, pantsuit is already checked in, there's a single for tonight, and the honeymoon suite is booked through the weekend with a note not to allow room service to be billed separately, it's all going on the same account." 

"Okay, thank you." Claire said, starting to walk away. 

"So, you married him even after he broke your arm?" Chaz asked with a chuckle, "What, did he knock you up?" 

Claire turned back around, "I got hurt at work while he was out of town. My dad's the one who got married today." 

"I figured it out, you know... I know how you did it." 

"Did what?" Claire asked, confused. 

"How you killed him." Chaz answered, "Took me a while, but I got it. You probably knew he was out there parking behind the shop building after it closed, had your dickless little man-bitch cut his brake lines, then you went out for a drive, knowing he'd follow you. Slow down with a semi coming, he can't brake, gotta try to pass you, right? In a hurry, there was no way Will could've stopped, or noticed the eighteen-wheeler." 

His words hung in the air as Claire stood still, air burning in her lungs, her jaw clenched, until she managed to calm herself enough to speak, "Alfie was in Dallas when that happened, and if his truck had been tampered with, the sheriff's department would have known." 

"Not if it was a mangled mess too crushed to tell." Chaz replied, "Nice alibi, though, but his little contest was over with plenty of time for him to get back, and he was in town the next morning, I checked." 

Claire nodded, walking away, "Great work. You should be a detective. Find some way to pin the Jack the Ripper killings on the disemboweled hookers." 

* * *


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Some badass!Cas in here for you, and also those whippersnappers making Naomi uncomfortable for fun.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Love you guys! Take care of yourselves! FW)

* * *

Dean looked up as the passenger door opened, and Cas sat down with a fairly neutral expression.

"How'd it go?" 

"He said he'll go." 

Dean nodded, "Great... so, we've got a couple of hours to kill." 

Cas shook his head, "We are not going to be late for this." 

"No, we won't be late." Dean replied. 

"Dean, I'm not about to show up a complete mess, either." 

Dean smirked as he started the car. 

* * *

Naomi spotted Claire and approached her, "Everything's running smoothly. Did you need something?"

"No. Just thought I'd see if there was anything I could help with." Claire replied. 

Naomi gave her a scrutinous look, "Not at this point, although if you'd like to look around, see if anything needs a last minute change, you're welcome to go ahead... Also, there's a child on the guest list." 

Claire nodded, "Is that a problem?" 

"Not what I would have done, but I suppose as both the grooms are parents, they may feel differently about children. I only know they tend to be picky eaters, and the caterer suggested an alternate meal of macaroni and cheese, and chicken nuggets." 

"Sounds about right, she's pretty small." 

"So you know her?" 

"No, just seen her a few times." Claire replied, "Wait, you said one child, what about Ben?" 

"Twelve, right? I'm sure he can handle an adult meal. Hopefully he'll behave himself like an adult as well." 

Claire gave her a firm look, "Ben will act right, he's a good kid. It's your nephew who's likely to wind up under a table with another guy's tongue in his mouth. Seen it happen." 

"Whatever arrangements he has with you is his business, as long as you're aware he's in the public eye in more ways than one. He needs to balance his, well, publicity with better publicity, remain interesting to the art community, but not badly enough to damage the stock in his father's many companies." Naomi answered, checking a list in her hand and walking away. 

"What he needs is a hug, you coldhearted bitch." Claire muttered. 

* * *

Jess was still fussing with Ben's tie as they entered the ballroom, "I don't know, it looks like the ice cream still shows."

Sam shrugged, "I'm sure whatever photographer they got can edit it out, then he can ditch it. Not a big deal." 

"Hey, I know a couple of those guys, maybe they'll let me help set up." Ben said, pointing to a small group of musicians running cables by a wall near a propped exterior door. 

"Don't mess up your clothes." Jess called after him. She looked around the busy room, "Wow... I thought they were going to need help, but I guess when you hire it all out it comes together pretty fast." 

Naomi approached them quickly, "I'm going to assume you're with the wedding party?" 

"Yes, I'm Dean's brother. Sam,-" Sam replied, starting to gesture to Jess, but Naomi cut him off. 

"Your key cards are at the front desk. You're booked for one night, but if you're staying longer, let them know, and it will be covered. Also, the cake is arriving, so I'll be needing this doorway you've stopped in." 

"Oh, sorry." Sam said, quickly, stepping out of the way as Naomi went through the doorway, disappearing into some back room further down the hall. 

"They're putting us up?" Jess whispered. 

Sam shrugged, "Well, Claire's half-moved over to the other house, and we're the only ones coming from out of town." 

"It's only half an hour away, though." 

"Yeah, but this means we can relax, enjoy the party, and not worry about getting home." Sam answered. 

Claire came up behind them, "Any sign of Kevin yet?" 

"No," Jess answered, "But the scary lady just told us we have a room." 

"Yeah, she really went all-out. Dad and Dean have a room, too." 

"Um, what about Ben?" Jess asked, "Doesn't he have school tomorrow?" 

Claire shrugged, "I'll take him home, not a big deal. I'm running the shop all weekend anyway, he can hang around with the big kids." 

"Okay, then I guess that works, but I think we can all agree," Jess glanced at Sam with a leading nod, "You know, if you need anything this weekend, um, call us instead of your dads." 

"Yeah, no problem." Claire responded quickly, looking around for an excuse to change the subject. 

"Alfie's mom is really..." Sam started. 

"His aunt. But he kind of fired her as a family member, it's really just business now." Claire replied. 

* * *

After a quick text from Claire informing them of the hotel arrangements, Dean had suggested a stop at home for a couple of overnight bags, one of which had been quickly loaded with items from the locked box below the bed. They'd dropped everything off in the room personally before coming back downstairs to find Naomi directing the traffic of arriving guests and still-hustling staff putting the final items together for the reception.

During a few moments break, she confronted Alfie about speaking to make a more formal start to the party once everyone had been seated, and he was repeatedly declining, "I wasn't even at the court house with them, it's not my place." 

"You're hosting. Who else is going to do it?" 

Sam caught the conversation and stepped in, "You could let the best man do it." 

Naomi nodded to Alfie and pointed to Sam, "Better plan. Set it up." 

Charlie zipped up to where Cas and Dean stood together, "You know, my mom says all the best guys are either married or gay. I guess that goes double for you now, huh?" 

"Of course it does." Dean answered, "Because he's the best guy. Couldn't let that get away from me." 

"I want you to meet my date, Megan." Charlie said, turning around to face a brunette woman with a rounded face. 

"We've met. Or, at least, I have." Cas replied softly. 

"You already know Meg?" Charlie asked, confused. 

"Nurse Masters, yes. She knows a thing or two about hemoglobin." Cas replied. 

Dean's expression suddenly changed, "So, she's...?" 

At Cas' nod, Dean stepped closer to shake her hand, "Thank you... Um, she's around here someplace if you'd like to meet her." 

Charlie looked confused, "Who are we meeting?" 

"Claire." Dean said quickly. 

"Oh. Yeah, Claire's great, she's a real sweetheart, well, when she feels like it." Charlie prattled, before changing course to go say hi to Ben. 

Meg raised her eyebrows slightly, and followed after Charlie. 

In the lobby, Ivan had just gotten the door for Julie while carrying Cyndi on his hip, but just as they were about to enter the ballroom, he felt someone's eyes on him and turned to look. Chaz stood behind the front desk, and his features were nearly murderous as a tiny shift in his eyes made it obvious that he'd very much noticed Cyndi before locking eyes with Ivan. The whole thing made him uneasy. 

The tables had slowly filled, and Cas had been watching the crowd. Everyone he'd seen was at least a familiar face. A tiered cake stood on display near a corner, and while the colors and decor were different from he would have planned, the entire event had an understated and tasteful tone. He hadn't expected the entire ordeal to feel quite so pleasant. He continued to watch from the head table as Sam came up with a cordless microphone, and passed behind them to reach Ben, seated next to Cas. 

Sam gave the mic to Ben, and patted him on the shoulder, whispering in his ear, "Just like you did before, you'll do great." 

Ben nodded and stood up as Sam stepped back to the wall, and Ben took a folded piece of paper from his pocket, and cleared his throat before bringing the microphone close to his face and beginning to read awkwardly, "Thank you all for coming. We're here to celebrate the wedding between my... My dads... Dean and Cas, and celebrate that we are all one big family now, them, and me and Claire, and we're all really glad that everyone came out to join us, and congratulate them. Thank you." 

Ben sank into his chair with a sigh of relief as several people began to clap, and Sam came back for the microphone, giving Ben an encouraging smile before taking the offending piece of audio equipment back to where the band was starting a quiet song. 

"Thank you, Ben, that was very well put." Cas said. 

Ben shrugged, "Aunt Jess helped me. Uncle Sam said there wasn't enough jokes or embarrassing stories." 

Cas nodded, "That would have been all right, but I think you did a great job." 

Coming in a bit late, Cas noticed Kevin and Margaret being shown to a table, and just behind them, Alfie and Linda. He took one more hopeful glance to the door and spotted Gabe, who quickly took a seat at a table near the back. 

The dinner was served quickly, Sam had organized one champagne toast, and kept it conservative, as Dean had asked him to, and soon, the band was playing a little louder, friendly laughter had taken the place of polite conversation, and further off, a few people had even gotten up to dance. 

Soon enough, it had been decided that it was time to cut the cake, and the focus of the room and any cameras and phones available had shifted to the corner as everyone gathered around. 

Ivan found himself shoulder to shoulder with Alfie, backs to a side door that led to the hallway. 

"Really great party, man." Ivan said quietly, "Thanks. And those two, they really deserve it, having a big deal like this." 

"Yeah, they do." Alfie replied, "Cyndi's having fun?" 

"Oh yeah, Julie, too." 

"Hey, shit-for-brains." a voice growled suddenly from behind them, making them both jump. Chaz stood in the now cracked open door. 

"Oh. Hey, Chaz." Alfie replied, "What's up?" 

"Not you, asshole, him. The guy who wants to start some shit by bringing my ex and her brat into where I work and trying to make my life hell." Chaz said quietly, turning back to Ivan, "We don't keep a camera on the dumpsters in the back lot, so meet me out there in ten minutes so we can settle this. If you have any balls, anyway." 

Ivan turned around slowly, "Why should I? You're the one who has a problem." 

"Because I've had about enough of you existing." Chaz sneered. 

Alfie turned sideways, keeping his eye on the cake being cut, "Not happening. He's got a record. You want to punch something, I can at least afford bail." 

"What?" Chaz asked. 

"I said I'm filling in for him. You want some kind of once-and-for-all fight? I'm in. But he'd kill you, and then he'd be stuck in prison. Neither of you want that, so I'm taking his place. Hell, I asked him to come, so this is on me, anyway." 

Chaz was seething when Alfie finally met his gaze, "Even better." 

The door clicked shut behind them and Ivan spoke quietly, "I can't let you take a beating for me. I can't get arrested if I don't hit back." 

"Go get your girlfriend and her kid some cake." Alfie replied before slipping away, as Ivan looked worried and conflicted. 

Claire was wandering between tables, taking slices of cake to the few people who hadn't gotten up, leaving one with Linda before moving to the table furthest from the head table where a man she didn't recognize at first sat checking his phone. 

"Would you like some cake?" she asked. 

Gabe looked up, "Yes, thank you... You know, you are the spitting image of your great grandmother." 

"Is that right?" 

"Yes. I met her once. But I gotta say, you look a lot more like the photo of her they have down in the chamber of commerce, from when she was in her twenties." 

"Okay, well, I guess I'll have to check that out sometime." Claire replied, passing him the small plate. 

Among the throng of people going back to their seats, Cas had wondered over, and overheard just a bit, "Gabe, thank you for coming... Claire, this is-" 

"Your old boss from the elementary school, right?" Claire asked. 

"Well, yes, but he also happens to be my cousin. Something of a family secret, but I think you're old enough to be in on it." 

"You're a Novak?" Claire asked. 

"I would've been, but thankfully the name didn't stick." Gabe replied with a chuckle. 

"Okay, it makes a little more sense now, you're the one that sent the candy when I was in the hospital." Claire said quietly, "Thanks, by the way. It really cheered me up." 

"Hey, what are estranged, secret, not-quite uncles for, huh?" Gabe answered with a grin. 

Claire turned to Cas, tapping her cast, "Listen, I need to get into my pain pills soon, or I'm still gonna be too wobbly to drive when the party's over." 

Cas nodded, and gestured for her to lead the way. 

* * *

"Hey," Alfie said quietly, pushing past between Kevin's back and the wall, "Gonna go get my ass kicked, if I'm not back in a little while, come check the dumpsters."

"Why? What'd you do?" Kevin asked over his shoulder. 

Alfie didn't reply, only patting Kevin's shoulder before slipping through the door. 

He took the long hallway to a side door, well aware he wouldn't be able to get back in without a card, or going around to the front of the building. It took him to the side of the hotel, and he followed the wall to the back, looking for the dumpsters. Chaz was waiting, sipping from a small styrofoam cup with steam coming from the top of it. 

Chaz looked up and spotted Alfie, who approached him at a measured pace. 

"Okay, so, did you want to discuss this first?" Alfie asked, his quiet voice carrying easily through the parking lot as he moved. 

"No." Chaz replied. 

* * *

Cas tipped a pill out of the bottle and into Claire's waiting palm, "You couldn't just carry them in your purse?"

Claire shook her head and popped it dry, "No, it's the only fancy purse I have, and after keys, cards, cash, and makeup, it's completely stuffed." 

"You have three pairs of steel-toed boots and only one purse for formal events?" 

"I get more use out of the boots." 

He put the bottle back in the open glove box and closed it, pressed the lock button and shut the door of the Chevelle. They had just started back toward the door when Claire pointed out a thin man in a suit approaching one of the hotel employees near the dumpsters. 

"What is he doing?" she asked. 

Cas could think of a few things he wasn't about to voice in front of his daughter, but soon she was walking closer, "Claire?" 

"One of the guys that works here was friends with Will, okay? I'm just gonna check on Alfie real quick." 

None of that sounded particularly pleasant, especially considering Claire's penchant for downplaying any danger she might be in, but as he looked back to the two men near the dumpsters, he saw the larger hotel employee take a swing at Alfie. 

Cas grabbed Claire's arm just as she was about to dart forward, "Stay here!" 

"Dad-!" 

"Stay!" Cas demanded, taking off for the dumpsters, not at all surprised to hear Claire following at a distance. 

As he got closer, it was increasingly apparent that the man in the suit was indeed Alfie, and despite a few decent blows he'd managed to land, he was indeed outmatched by the hotel employee. Cas tried to shove them apart, to make a gap between the two as he ordered them to stop, but Chaz had taken hold of Alfie's jacket, and was keeping him upright to continue to pummel him despite Cas' interference. 

Cas quickly wound back and struck Chaz in the face full force, knocking him back, forcing him to let go of Alfie, who dropped against the side of the dumpster and tried to regain his footing even as blood spilled from his face. 

Reeling, Chaz came back at Cas with a punch that made a rather weak connection, but was still enough to piss Cas off. 

Cas threw the former linebacker against the dumpster and punched him once more, this time causing him to fall forward onto his knees. He grabbed Chaz's shirt collar, demanding his full attention, "I don't know or care what that was about, but it ends now." 

Chaz pointed vaguely toward Alfie and Claire's direction, "They're a couple of murderers. They're the reason Will's dead!" 

"Will is the sole reason that Will is dead. You get near either one of them again, I'll have you begging to join him. Do you understand?" Cas growled. 

Chaz gave a weak nod, and Cas shoved him over to the ground, having lost all patience, and pulled Alfie to his feet. 

Cas marched Alfie straight to the side door as Claire followed after them, still a little unsettled, having never seen her father get violent before. He tugged a key card from his pocket and swiped it, throwing the door open, as Alfie stumbled slightly. 

Claire held the door as Cas managed to get them both inside, "Dad...? If anybody saw that, you could have just ruined your career." 

"Possibly." 

"Why?" 

"Because that's what you do for family." Cas replied as the door swung shut behind her, "Now go back to the party, get his aunt and Kevin so they can get him cleaned up. No offense, Alfie, but we certainly don't want any rumors about family violence while we're trying to take in a foster child." 

Alfie nodded, "Yeah, no. It's cool... And thank you." 

Claire hurried off, still shaken, finding Naomi and Kevin in a heated discussion concerning the music. 

"Of course everybody here likes Creedence, it's a hick town. We're hicks. We listen to hick music. Deal with it." Kevin was answering her. 

"Guys, um..." Claire started, not sure how to put what she'd just watched into words. She dropped her voice, "Alfie's bleeding in the hallway, and I have to go pretend nothing happened. I'll tell you everything later, just-..." 

Kevin gave a confused shrug and headed for the door, Naomi following him. 

Glancing around helplessly, Claire decided to head back to her seat next to Dean, where several people had stopped to congratulate him. He lost interest as Claire sat down, unfortunately familiar with the look on her face, "What's wrong?" 

"Not now." she said, "Don't really want to talk about it." 

"Where's Cas?" 

"He'll be back in a minute." she replied as Dean spotted him coming in through the closer door, making a beeline for the table, and sitting down next to him with a smile he knew immediately was fake. 

"Is everything okay?" Dean asked. 

"Of course. Just hit a little snag, everything is fine now." Cas replied. 

Dean was about to shrug it off, but further down the room, through the wide open doors, he caught a glimpse of Alfie, his face bloodied, being hurried away by Kevin and Naomi. 

Dean reached for Cas' hand below the table and gave it an overly tight squeeze, exacerbating the pain in his knuckles, and watching as he tried to hide a wince. Dean spoke in a low voice, but his meaning was clear, "What the hell did you do?" 

"Dean!" Claire snapped, still finding herself at a loss for words, but ready to yell at somebody without an outlet to do so, "Come on, we're dancing." 

Quickly enough, and with a few pictures being taken, he was sure, especially with Jess seated nearby, Dean found himself trying to put on a brave face as they danced, confused as hell why Claire would defend her father after what he was sure Cas had just done, unless... 

"So, what did he do to deserve that? Do I need to take a turn?" Dean asked quietly. 

"Dad didn't hit Alfie, he hit the guy that was beating him to a pulp." 

"I wondered why he didn't have any blood on him." Dean mused, "So what did the other guy want?" 

"He was in my class in high school... Has this stupid theory that Alfie and I killed Will. He wouldn't stop, so dad threw him around and he was still on the ground when we got back inside." 

"So he was protecting Alfie?" 

"I swear, you talk to dad like that again, I'm gonna-" 

"Calm down." Dean said quickly, "I'm gonna apologize... You are really protective of him, I get it." 

"Yeah, well, I wouldn't let him talk to you like that, either." 

Dean nodded, "I believe you... So, how bad is he hurt?" 

"No idea. I don't even know where they're taking him. Probably to Naomi's room." Claire explained, "Dad said we need to keep the bloodshed under wraps until we get Xander." 

"You know you said 'we?'" 

"I know what I said." 

"Okay." Dean replied, still happy to have heard it, "I think Ben's coming over to cut in, I'll go check and make sure he's not dying." 

Ben had in fact come over to cut in, having been at the table with Sam and Jess for a bit, "Okay, so, I talked to Aunt Jess, but you know more about this, so I want to know what you think." 

"Okay." 

"Right, so, when the break is over, I have a Valentine's dance to get ready for, but I think Aubrey would just say no-" 

"I told you to stay away from her." 

Ben nodded, "But, I don't know, I mean, it doesn't hurt to ask, right?" 

"If she says she'd rather go to the dance with a walking pile of slime, and says 'but that's your twin brother, right? Can you give me his number,' it's gonna hurt." 

"Who did you say that to?" Ben asked. 

"Corey. He was a dick." 

"Okay, but, I can just ask her. She might say yes. Or I could ask Millie, because I know she'd say yes." 

"Is that the one that stalks you that Jack likes?" Claire asked. 

Ben shrugged, "She's kinda calmed down, and Jack is too dumb to try to talk to her, anyway. I tried to make that happen, didn't work." 

"Okay, look, if you're gonna ask Aubrey, go for it, but she might be mean about it, and don't ask a second time, don't beg... If you ask Millie, don't ask because she'll say yes, ask because you actually want to go to the dance with her. And last thing, this is super important, make it really clear if you're going as friends. Don't give Millie the wrong idea, don't hurt her feelings." 

Ben nodded, "Okay, I'll remember that." 

"What did Jess say?" 

"She said ask Aubrey, and if I ask Millie, well, same thing you said." Ben replied, "She also said I was way too young for this much trouble with girls." 

"She said that because as people get old, they forget how hard middle school and high school are. Give me a couple years, and I'll be doing the same thing." Claire said confidently. 

The song drew to a close, and Claire made her way to the side of the dance floor where Cas was quietly speaking to Sam, "Any word on Alfie?" 

"All I know is that he went to room one-twelve. I assume Dean's there." 

"Yeah, well, sorry to ditch..." Claire said softly. 

"Don't be." Cas replied. 

* * *

"What were you thinking? Getting into a parking lot fight? Over what?" Naomi chided as Dean used the light on his phone to check the dilation of Alfie's eyes.

Kevin emerged from the bathroom with the already pink wash cloth that had been wrung out a third time. 

"The dumbass Cas left on the pavement really thinks you guys are killers, huh?" Dean asked. 

A quiet tapping at the door drew Naomi's attention, and she barely cracked it open to find Claire standing in the hallway, "Yes?" 

"Hey, is Alfie okay?" 

"Yes, he's fine." 

"Can I see him?" Claire asked insistently. 

Naomi rolled her eyes and opened the door further, "Defending your honor, no doubt." 

"That's not what happened." Alfie said, pulling a hand towel full of ice down from his face. 

Claire quickly came closer, "Oh, god, it's looking even worse, now." 

Kevin lightly slapped Claire's arm, addressing Alfie, "Don't listen to her, baby, you're still pretty to me." 

Dean stood, "Well, you look like shit, but you're fine. I wouldn't drive, though, not with all the swelling around the eyes." 

"You'd better get back." Claire said, gesturing to the door. 

With a shrug, Dean made for the door, "Anything weird, call." 

The door clicked shut before Claire responded, "Anything weird, you're going to the hospital." 

"Okay, so, what now? Where are you sleeping tonight?" Kevin asked, carefully wiping a missed smear of blood from Alfie's chin. 

"I don't know, who's turn was it?" Alfie asked. 

Claire wasn't sure what that had meant, until Naomi clearly responded to remind them of her presence, "I'm standing right here." 

Claire shrugged, "I dunno, seems like it was your turn, since I wound up in bed with you guys while he was gone." 

"When did this whole thing get so complicated?" Kevin asked, playing it up. 

"Right?" Claire answered, "At least it's not boring." 

"Got kind of boring with the pineapple that time." Kevin said. 

"Yeah, okay, the pineapple was boring." Claire said with a nod. 

Alfie shook his head slightly, "Guys, seriously, plan?" 

"You're coming home with me." Claire replied, "That way the blood doesn't make Margaret all queasy." 

Alfie reached for her hand, "Text me when the party's wrapping up, get Ben, and I'll meet you out at this side door?" 

"Yeah." Claire answered, leaning forward and easing a gentle touch of a kiss against his swollen lips before going to the door. As it was closing behind her, she was certain she heard Naomi muttering, "Teenagers are so perverted these days." 

* * *


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Okay, back at it. So much stuff to untangle...
> 
> Am I even warning you guys about the sex in here anymore? I think I stopped doing that. 
> 
> You'll like this chapter. And the next one. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading, and my awesome reviewers! Making my day! FW)

* * *

"Are we dropping him off?" Ben asked, climbing into the back seat.

"No, he's coming to the house with us." Claire replied. 

"Isn't there, like, some kind of rule that breaks? Or is okay because it's like Thanksgiving and he's going to be downstairs?" 

"Ben, I'm an adult." Claire replied in a gentle, but authoritative tone, "Alfie is moving in to Bobby's house with me, so, this is getting a little ridiculous. It's an adult relationship, so it's nobody's business but ours." 

"It's just weird." Ben muttered. 

"It's going to be easier when I'm not living at home, because it'll be harder to forget that I'm not a child, I'm a registered voter with a year of college behind me." 

"So, what about being, like, a bad influence, or whatever?" 

Claire nodded, "Okay, then how about you just pretend, and add an extra ten years, okay? He's thirty, I'm twenty-nine, and you have school in the morning." 

Ben was quiet for a short time, "If I ever get caught with a girl in my room, I'm gonna use you as an excuse." 

"And when I start getting asked why I'm never having kids, I'm blaming you, so I guess we're even." Claire replied dryly. 

"You're not gonna have kids?" 

"Probably not." 

"Oh... Well, I'm gonna have kids, I think..." 

"Wait till you're forty." 

The single door on the side of the building opened and Alfie came out, watching his step carefully as he got to the car and got in. 

"Okay, so, what did I miss?" 

"The cake was really good, and I danced with Claire, Aunt Jess, and Kevin's mom, and Aunt Jess says I'm good at it, so I should have no problem getting a date for this dance this year." 

Alfie's eyebrows nearly met, and he turned to Claire, "Did Ben just say he was trying to get a date?" 

"For a school dance. I don't think it's a serious thing." 

"Oh. Okay." 

"It could be serious thing, you don't know." Ben piped up from the back seat. 

"Yeah?" Claire asked, pulling out of the parking lot, "How would you define a serious thing? I mean, age appropriate serious?" 

"I don't know, like, holding hands in public, kissing, you know, whatever." 

Alfie shrugged, "Pretty serious for seventh grade." 

"Don't do it, Ben. Girls have cooties." Claire said with an authoritative voice, "They have cooties and mono." 

"What's mono?" 

Alfie turned in his seat, "It's a kind of a virus that makes you sick for a while, and it's spread through spit." 

"Ugh! Gross!... So, like a STD from just kissing?" 

"Basically, yeah." 

"You're making that up so I won't kiss girls, aren't you?" Ben asked. 

Alfie pulled his phone from his jacket pocket and typed in a search for the symptoms and causes of mononucleosis and passed the phone to Ben. 

"Oh my god..." Ben breathed, "This one says the virus is a type of herpes." 

Claire smiled slightly, "Dean's gonna thank you for that later, if you didn't just permanently stunt his emotional growth." 

* * *

As the door clicked shut behind them, Dean and Cas fell into a gentle, loving kiss, pulling each other close.

"I don't know about you," Dean whispered, "But I'm exhausted." 

Cas gave a very tired nod, "First thing tomorrow." 

"Yeah." Dean replied, "But for right now, I got you, that's all I need." 

Dean started to loosen Cas' tie as Cas continued to hold him snuggly, 

"Should we call and check on the kids?" 

Dean shook his head, "They'll be fine... Sam said they'd call him and Jess if they need anything." 

"It's just, last time..." 

"Last time they weren't headed straight home. How much can they really get up to at home?" Dean asked, "Did you get a dance with Claire?" 

"Yes, I did... that was..." 

"She leads backwards, while trying not to." Dean chuckled, "I'm gonna guess it's a personality thing. Probably helped when she was teaching Ben." 

"Maybe it did. He did quite well with Jess and Linda." 

"Did you teach her?" Dean asked. 

Cas shook his head sadly, "No. No, I taught her to drive, to cook, and how to fix broken necklaces and bracelets. That's all she got from me. I don't know when she learned to dance." 

"That is not all she got from you, don't start that." 

"I suppose you're right." Cas said, managing a small smile, "We're doing a pretty good job raising those two." 

"We are. That is absolutely something we should be proud of." 

Cas shrugged out of his jacket, keeping Dean close, "Dean, I, um..." 

"Yeah?" 

"Everything's changing so quickly, the last few months have been something of a blur, but... Even as uncomfortable as change can be... I'm, well, I'm excited." 

Dean smirked, "You don't look excited." 

"Not like that. But, I mean..." Cas shrugged, "We're living together, we're married, we're bringing another child into our home, even if he is half-grown, and even though this is all coming together so fast we hardly have time to breathe, and we can't possibly be thinking clearly... I'm just... I'm very happy. I'm happy with our life, with our relationship, just where we are right now, and thinking about where we're going, and how wherever we're going, whatever challenges we'll face, we're together." 

Dean nodded, starting on the buttons of Cas' shirt, "Well you know me, I love it when you're happy... But I also love being unconscious next to you, so how about we make that happen?" 

* * *

Julie woke a bit disoriented, still tired from the late night the wedding reception had brought about. She rubbed her face as she sat up, realizing as she did that she'd left her makeup on, along with her clothes.

She knew she'd put Cyndi down on the couch before stretching out with Ivan, but at some point during the night, it seemed, Cyndi had woken up and found her way to the bed, and now resembled a large limp rag doll between them. 

She considered the reception the night before as she checked the time on her phone and carefully got up from the bed, heading for the restroom. As her weight left the mattress, Cyndi fussed, flailing one arm a bit, not fully waking up, and Ivan rolled onto his side, putting a hand on her tiny back, which seemed to sooth her. 

Julie had had a friendly conversation with Dean, who'd even held Cyndi for a moment and said it was good to see Julie... He hadn't mentioned the car Ivan had spoken of. Claire had thanked her for coming but kept it short, and she hadn't seen much of Alfie. 

Coming back to the bedroom, now slightly more awake, she leaned on the wall for a moment, just watching them sleep. Soon she'd have to get ready for work, wake Ivan, feed Cyndi, and a hectic day of emotional garbage would drag them around, until they were able to make their way home again at the end of it, and reconnect with each other where they truly belonged. 

Slowly, Ivan started coming around, and finding Cyndi next to him, tried to creep away slowly, but soon she sat up, still wobbly from sleep, her eyes wide. She seemed to give up on the idea of being awake, and flopped, planting her face in his chest. 

"Oh... Okay, then." Ivan said, shifting to cradle her as he sat up, still groggy. He looked up at Julie, "I'm not scheduled for work, but I have to go in for a bit today... I can take her with me." 

"To the shop? That doesn't sound very safe." 

Ivan shrugged, "She wouldn't be in the garage, mostly I just need to check on Alfie." 

"Check on him?" 

"Yeah, he, um... Chaz tried to get me outside for a fight last night. Alfie stepped in, went out back instead of me. I kept looking for him, but Claire said not to worry about it... No guarantee it won't happen again, though." 

Julie closed her eyes, shaking her head, "This is my fault, isn't it? ...Never gonna be rid of him... I'm sorry." 

"Don't be. It's him, not you. It's not like you want him around." Ivan said quietly. 

"Yeah, but I knew he was like this to start with, and I... it happened anyway." 

"It's not your fault." Ivan insisted, "And anyway, I'm the one who got called out, and let somebody else go for me like a coward, so... I don't know." 

"So, how's this going to work with your truck?" Julie asked as Cyndi started to stir again in Ivan's arms. 

* * *

As Dean drifted toward consciousness, a few things were certain. He was laying on his right side, he was not in his own bed, something hard was pressed firmly to his ass, and Cas had him in a tight half-Nelson hold.

A soft, warm mouth he knew intimately was leaving delicate, damp kisses across the back of his shoulders even as the hand clamped to the back of his neck kept his arm and most of his upper body immobilized. He smirked. It was going to be a very good morning. 

With a quiet sound of appreciation, Dean tried to cooperate as Cas snaked his other arm between Dean's body and the mattress, reaching to stroke tender flesh as his teeth slowly began to sink into a firm curve of muscle. 

"Mm... Cas?" Dean asked, only to feel his teeth sink in harder as his hand tightened around him, a hiss escaping his lips, soon becoming a deep groan, feeling Cas give a firm grind against him. 

"I want you." Cas growled in his ear. 

"You know I love it when you get like this," Dean whispered, "But it's still a little much for starting off." 

"We have all day." 

Dean gave a bit of a grunt as he struggled against Cas' arm, "Okay, listen, let me work up to it, deal?" 

With only a hint of disappointment, Cas released him. As Dean rolled onto his back and started to sit up, however, Cas pinned his shoulders and went straight for Dean's neck. He started off gentle, but was soon enough sucking, and nibbling a dark bruise into Dean's flesh. 

"Oh, shit... sweetheart, you?... Are you just... damn... marking me up for the whole world to see?" Dean muttered, reveling in it, "Honey, you know I'm all yours... You just... RMmm! Cas, c'mon, give me a chance to give you what you want, okay?" 

"What I want?" Cas asked, his voice still rough from sleep. 

"Everything you want." Dean replied, "You know I'll do that for you. Don't you?" 

As Dean pressed Cas down onto the bed, Cas watched the area where Dean's neck was still damp, slightly darkened, and beginning to turn purple. He swung a leg over Cas' torso, leaning down to kiss him softly, trailing his fingers down from Cas' shoulders, pausing for a moment to give a small tug at Cas' nipple ring. 

Dean took the container of lube from the nightstand, where Cas had left it the night before, predicting correctly that they may not want to leave the bed to find it, and slicked Cas' hard length thoroughly before aligning his body and beginning to sink down around him slowly. 

"Dean, if- ohh... If that's too much..." 

"I'm good." Dean said quietly, clearly focused on relaxing his tight muscles, "Just give me a minute, try not to move... How's it feel?" 

"Tight... tight and hot." Cas said softly, his breaths deepening, letting his hands fall to Dean's hips. 

Dean settled, taking in his last inch, his hands on Cas' ribs, breathing slowly against the burn and stretch of the thickness inside him. He carefully moved to lay on Cas' chest, kissing him tenderly with soft, submissive motions as his body began to adjust. Dean slowly started with small motions in a grind against him, carefully feeling his way into a slow, gentle rhythm as he pressed kisses along Cas' jawline and throat, threading his fingers through Cas' hair, "Mm... love you... so much..." 

Firm hands traveled up his back as Cas tilted his head back, letting Dean get better access to bottom of his chin, coming to rest on his shoulders, encouraging every careful thrust. 

Seemingly out of nowhere, Cas put a firm hand to Dean's chest, forcing him upward a few inches before raising his head to kiss him hungrily, not caring as his teeth grazed against Dean's lips, tasting him deeply, "Sit up, I want to watch you move." 

Dean sat up immediately, cooperating as Cas grabbed his hands roughly, lacing their fingers and clenching tight, "You like watching me ride you?" 

"You have no idea." Cas replied, shifting his hips to make Dean gasp and shudder. 

"Hey, careful! You know I can't go for long like this." 

"Get close and stop." 

Dean nodded, not trusting himself to answer coherently as he began to speed up. He held tight to Cas' hands as he leaned back slightly, taking him in deep, thrusting down onto him, knocking Cas' hardness into that patch of nerves perfectly as his own flesh jolted with each thrust. He bit into his lip with a groan, wondering if the hotel did anything to soundproof their walls. 

"Dean," Cas said softly with a strained voice, "I do love you dearly... but if you keep making noises like that... I'm going to have to fuck you until you're screaming my name properly." 

His words had the desired effect, and with shaking limbs Dean was suddenly climbing off of him, "Holy shit... how the hell do you do that? Always just the right thing to say." 

Cas smirked and tackled him, pinning him to the mattress with a grunt, arranging him face down. He dragged his nails down Dean's back as he straddled his thighs, bringing his hands to Dean's ass and spreading his cheeks, taking a moment to savor the sight of him, as he'd been doing with the front of his body. 

Dean's breathing was careful and controlled as he tried to stay relaxed, but he gave a small shake as Cas placed his tip to Dean's entrance. 

Cas entered him gently, sliding across his already sensitive prostate, his weight pushing Dean down into the mattress as Dean whimpered with pleasure. Dean tried to get his arms under him to give him some leverage to push back against Cas, but Cas squeezed Dean's thighs together tightly with his own, wrapped his arms around Dean, pinning Dean's arms to his sides, and brought him down, completely helpless. It made it more difficult to thrust, but he started anyway, his usual depth cut in half by the position, driving into Dean's body at an angle neither of them were used to. 

Cas had his doubts at first, especially when Dean started to squirm, wondering if perhaps it was too much, but a single word from Dean's lips banished the thought entirely. 

"Cas!" 

It echoed of desperate need and simultaneous fulfillment, and every time he heard it he was certain that the next time, he would burn it into his memory. In all of his life, only Dean had ever been able to say it like that. But in all his life, Dean was the only one to ever make him even consider marriage... And now they'd equally laid claim to each other in the intent of a life long bond. That sort of love was overwhelming. 

Cas thrust harder, faster, as a need arose in him, a need to take every once of love and care that Dean had ever given him and give it all back in one go. Normally his actions were controlled and measured, but not this time. This time he lost himself the sounds and feeling and taste of his lover, his husband, beneath him, and if the noise was any indication, Dean had lost all sense of reality. 

Dean tensed with a loud groan, and fell into something of a limp tremble as Cas felt his own body taking over, shoving into him, against him, almost brutally. He buried himself in Dean's body as his spilled over, and it was only then that he realized something was off. The sound coming from Dean's lips was somewhere between moaning and sobbing, and suddenly he was very concerned. 

Of course he'd get rough, they both did. They had safe words for that. But he hadn't checked in. Had Dean said his? Had he missed it? Had he gone too far? He was horrified by the thought. 

"Dean?" 

"Holy shit..." Dean breathed, as Cas slipped out of him delicately slow, and rolled him gently onto his side, "Cas... I love you... I just... goddamn..." 

"Were you crying?" 

"No... Hold me tighter... I can still breathe." 

Cas wrapped Dean snuggly in his arms as he settled on top of him, subconsciously wetting his lips, "Have you lost track of gravity, then?" 

"I always do that with you.. just more right now." Dean mumbled, his hands clumsily grasping at Cas' body, giving a small laugh, "My brains are gone." 

"I'll stay with you till they come back." Cas replied, wiping beaded sweat from Dean's face. 

* * *

Ben was relieved to make it to the bus on time, Claire had offered to drive him, mostly he just wanted to get to school. Breakfast had been strange.

Alfie had told him that Cas had beaten the snot out of some guy who'd picked a fight with him, but when asked about the reason for it, would only say that it wasn't important. 

He had heard them talking quietly as he lay awake the night before. That had been strange, too. He hadn't been able to tell what they'd been discussing, but he was pretty sure if they'd been doing anything else, he would have heard that, too. Not something he wanted to think about. Unfortunately Jack, who'd finally gotten the guts to be seen with him again, wouldn't shut up about it at lunch. 

"So, the guy that's banging your new sister-" 

"Dude." 

"Stayed over because your parents are off on their honeymoon or whatever? Was it loud?" 

"Shut up." 

"So it was loud." 

"Dude, nothing was loud. I don't think anything was even happening. They were talking about cars." 

"Yeah, right. Probably just code words." 

Ben shrugged, "She said she had to replace a radiator today." 

Xander chuckled, "I bet I know what that's code for." 

"You know, Claire's friend Kevin told me if I started hanging out with a bunch of girls now, I'd have them all over me in two years. Maybe I don't need your crap." Ben suggested firmly. 

"Calm down." Jack replied, "God, you're so fussy you're practically a girl already." 

"Yeah? Maybe that's why I told Millie you like her." 

"You didn't?... Dude, I'm not into her anymore." Jack replied, "Shit, now she's gonna be following me around. Why'd you do that?" 

"What are you talking about? You're always staring at her." Ben argued. 

"No, it's true. He likes Nina now." Xander piped up. 

Jack snorted in an attempt to scoff, which Ben knew all too well as fake, "No, I don't." 

"So you don't like Millie?" Ben asked. 

"No." Jack replied, this time with honesty. 

"'Kay." Ben answered with an eyeroll, "Are you guys going to be on the school message board during the break? I heard somebody wanted to plan a party on there." 

"I don't use it, but he does." Jack replied. 

Xander nodded, "I just tell him stuff, because he's a lazy puke." 

Ben chuckled, but looking back and forth between his friends, it dawned on him that they may have had no idea that Xander was moving. And as per his promise, he couldn't say a word to them about it. 

"Okay, I gotta go, I'll see you guys later." Ben said quietly, clearing his tray and heading for the door. 

He'd gotten half way to his locker when footsteps behind him suddenly became rushed, and he was suddenly being shoved into an empty flex room. 

"What? What do you want?" Ben asked, spinning around, unsure who'd grabbed him. As the door swung shut, he found himself face to face with Aubrey. 

"You told?... How did you know?" she asked. 

"Told what?" 

"That those girls were messing with me. It was none of your damn business!" she hissed. 

Ben shook his head, "I never said a word. What happened?" 

"So you have no idea, huh? You didn't tell anybody that they follow me around and bug me until I hit back? Or that they have this joke that they're training me to be Chuck Norris in pigtails by toughening me up? And now that they got caught putting crap in my locker they're being worse than ever? Stop helping, okay? You're making it worse!" Aubrey said loudly. 

"I, um... I only saw them do it that one time. And I never said anything. I swear." Ben replied, quickly searching his memory for any chance that he'd hinted at it in front of Cas, "But, y'know, if you wanted help, I mean, if you actually said so, I would help." 

"I don't want your help! I want you to stop messing things up for me. You try to get involved, and it just goes to crap. Stay out of it and leave me alone!" 

"But, this isn't my fault!" Ben protested, "I didn't do this! And I'm sorry if they're messing with you, but it's not going to get any better from just letting them push you around until you snap, okay? So, I'll stay out of it, but don't try to blame this on me, and I really hope you tell somebody and let somebody help you... I gotta go." 

Ben tried to hurry past her, but she stepped between him and the door, making him stop, stepping in front of him, grabbing his shoulder and coming up onto her toes to get high enough to press her lips firmly to his. She wore a smug, not-quite smile as she stepped away, "Go." 

"Wait... What was that for?" Ben asked, his mind suddenly on autopilot. 

"To make you wonder why. It's gonna bug you for months, just like this junk is gonna bug me for months. And the best part?" she continued, heading for a window he'd just realized was propped open a crack with a pencil, "If you ever tell anybody, nobody's gonna believe you." 

Ben watched in confusion as she climbed through the window, jumping down the short distance to the ground outside, letting the window fall shut and latch behind her. He wasn't sure how long he stood glued to the spot, nor how long he'd had his hand to his mouth, but when he found himself looking around the empty room, her words finally started to sink in. Sure, she had kissed him, but she'd only done it to mess with him. Somehow that didn't make any sense, even with her reason spelled out. 

Why did girls have to be so confusing? He found himself somewhat envious of Cas. At least guys made sense. Too bad they weren't hot. 

* * *

Claire looked up as the doorway was suddenly blocked by Ben's frame, "Hey."

"Hey... Um, did you want me to start anything for dinner?" 

Claire shrugged, "What do you know how to make?" 

"Mac and cheese with hotdogs in it." 

Claire nodded, "I'd eat that... Why are you all red? Is it really that cold out?" 

Ben shook his head, "I'm okay." 

"Are you sick?" 

"No, I'm really okay... Anyway, it's still early, so, um, I was going to wait on dinner for a bit, I was going to talk to Ivan, but he's in the yard." Ben hinted cautiously. 

"He won't be out long, you can wait in the garage for him, stay out of the way, and don't help unless somebody asks you to." Claire answered his unasked question. 

Ben looked around the tiny office. There was less paperwork on the desk than usual, and Claire seemed to fit the space more naturally than even Dean, sometimes. 

"Something else bugging you?" Claire asked quietly, "You know, you're on winter break now, you're supposed to be happy about that." 

"Yeah, it's just-" 

"Xander?... Or the wedding? Lots of stress, I get that." 

Ben shook his head, "No, I was just thinking... You know I don't want the shop, right? I'm not that big a fan of cars... I know you want your own someday, but, dad has to have somebody to keep this one going, he's gotta retire eventually." 

"What? You don't want to share?" Claire chuckled, "Remodel half the bays, 'Singer Auto and Veterinary Clinic?' Fix your cat and your car in one trip?" 

Ben laughed and shook his head, "I really don't want the shop. It's not that I don't like it here, it's just, it's not my thing. And you keep acting like you don't want to be here, but you were freaking out over that building down the hill... This is exactly where you want to be." 

Claire shrugged, "You're twelve. It's not time for you to make up your mind, or feel like you fit in anywhere. So, I'll remember you said it, but I would never hold you to it, because you're just a kid, and you have a lot of time in case you change your mind... Of course, if you do wind up taking this place over, I'm just going to be the most cut-throat competitor ever, run you out of business and buy the place out from under you." 

"Liar." 

"Yeah, I am. And if you ever need business advice for a vet clinic, I'll help." 

"Thanks." Ben said quietly, and started for the garage. 

* * *


	43. Chapter 43

* * *

"Man, I can't tell you how sorry I am that this landed on you like that, when I'm the one that set the psycho shithead off to start with." Ivan said, propping open the hood of the small pile of rust that was once a sedan.

Alfie shrugged, "He's a psycho shithead, he would have found a reason. He thinks me and Claire killed that kid he used to run with." 

Ivan shook his head, "You guys aren't-.. Well, you're no killer. Not sure I'd be willing to cross Claire... Nah, I'm just messing, she wouldn't kill anybody, she'd just bring 'em down with plenty of evidence and leave them hogtied for the cops... Anyway, I knew something was coming when he saw me carrying Cyndi. Kind of a sore point, you could say." 

"Cyndi? ...Oh, crap... So...?" 

"Cyndi doesn't have a dad." Ivan replied, very deliberately, "Call it the stork, the milkman, swallowed a watermelon seed, whatever. There is no... y'know... No connection, right?" 

"Right. Got it." Alfie nodded, "After the beating I got last night, lets keep it that way. Unless, I dunno, you were going for the job." 

Ivan shrugged, "I don't know... maybe." 

"Maybe? With your history? You stick with that maybe for too long, and you're going to be saying it about the next girl in a couple of months. You said it was different with Julie." 

"It is." Ivan replied, "It's just... I dunno, I guess it's easier to just be 'mom's boyfriend.' Had a few of those that didn't suck, so, at least I have some kind of example." 

"Those didn't stick around, though. When you start talking about Julie, seems like it's supposed to be a long term thing." 

"Yeah, but, I don't know if I want to make long term plans if it's just going to ruin everything later. Like, the plan is the thing, and the bigger the thing is, the harder they fall? Except, it's gonna fall on me if it gets too big, and it'll fall on them, too." 

"You're scared you're gonna get attached and lose them both." Alfie guessed. 

Ivan stopped, pulling his hands from the busted machine, leaning on the radiator, "Yeah... Shit, I already am... All this time I've been trying to get Julie to relax, telling her I wasn't going to rush things, wasn't going to overdo it, and I did, didn't I?" 

Alfie chuckled, "Oh, man, you need to sit her down and have a serious talk about your relationship." 

"Not funny." 

"No, it's not. But you went for the girl with a kid, you might know where you're at with her, but you need to be clear about where you want to be with the kid." 

"Still kind of soon for that." 

"Yeah. But not too soon to consider it an option for the future. I mean, did you still want to be 'mom's boyfriend' when she's in school? Or when she's old enough to start asking who her real dad is?" Alfie asked, as Ivan shrugged, and started tugging loose the part he was after, "Okay, well, there's the other side of this, you've seen probably the best and worst of 'mom's boyfriends.' So, put yourself in Cyndi's shoes, what's she going to want, long term? And that's whether you and Julie grow old together or split up in, I don't know, six months." 

Ivan turned to look back at the shop where Cyndi had been left temporarily in Margaret's care, "I know what she needs, and what I would want to do, I just don't know if I can give her that, you know? How the hell am I supposed to know how?" 

"I have no idea. But I guess you could ask Cas. His whole thing with Claire is one giant mess. They turned out okay." 

"That's different. She's actually his, right?" 

Alfie shrugged, "Yeah, but, he didn't know that until she was gone. Like I said, giant mess." 

Ivan turned the part over in his hands, it looked to be functional, "So, how good is he at giving advice?" 

Alfie shrugged, "Pretty good. And this is a lot like where he was, so he might be able to help you sort out what you're going to do. Just, kind of bounce an idea off him, ask him what he'd do different, I guess." 

The walk back to the shop was fairly silent, unlike the one that had taken them out into the yard in the first place. Arriving at the building, however, making their way in through the bays, they found Lucas running his mouth, Randy making intelligent arguments against most of what Lucas had to say, and the main focus of the discussion seemed to be Ben, perched on one of the work benches. 

"What does that even mean?" Ben was asking. 

"Don't ask." Randy replied. 

Ben saw Ivan and Alfie approaching and hopped down, shaking his head, "Hey... Can I talk to you guys?" 

"What?" Lucas fussed, "My advice isn't good enough?" 

"Prime example of what not to do." Randy answered with a laugh. 

Ivan set the part down near the car that was slowly coming together with a nod, and Alfie made the suggestion of the paint shed, as Lucas kept trying to butt in. 

Soon, Ben had spilled his guts about three times over. If one thing stood out, however, it was a fair deal of confusion over the entire situation. 

"I mean, do girls even kiss somebody if they don't like them? I mean, what the hell was that about, anyway?" Ben asked. 

"Dude, she told you. She said she wanted to make you wonder, and it's been what? A couple hours? And already you're beating yourself up trying to figure it out. I told you girls do this." Ivan replied. 

Ben shook his head, "So she kissed me to torture me?" 

Alfie nodded, "Sounds like it." 

"But is she torturing me because she likes me or because she hates me? How does that part work?" 

Alfie shrugged, "Can't help you there." 

"Is she a bitch?" Ivan asked. 

"Woah, hey." Alfie cut in. 

"Okay, let me rephrase that... Does she respect you? Like, as a person? Or does she treat you like crap?" Ivan asked, shooting Alfie a questioning look, who returned a more approving shrug. 

Ben nodded, considering the question, "She keeps telling me to leave her alone and stay out of her business, even when I am leaving her alone and staying out of her business... I don't think she likes me. But... Oh, crap! Do I have to tell my dad? I mean, what about that throat-herpes thing you told me about?" 

Ivan turned to Alfie, "Throat-herpes? What the hell did you tell him?" 

Alfie shook his head, "Googled 'mono,' that's all." 

"Oh." Ivan replied, "No, man, you're probably fine. No big deal. Like the five-second rule, takes a bit for germs to spread." 

"Not true." Alfie muttered. 

"It's not like if there was tongue involved. That would be more likely, but only if she had it. I wouldn't worry." Ivan continued. 

"Okay, that part, yeah." Alfie commented, "You're probably fine." 

"So, now what? Do I talk to her? What do I do?" Ben asked. 

"Let it go. And stay away from her, she's probably bad news." Ivan replied. 

Alfie nodded, gesturing to Ivan, "Same. Unless she starts talking to you, in which case, maybe she does like you and just doesn't know how to say so. I wouldn't count on it, though." 

"Find a different girl to freak out over. A nice one. And be nice to her." Ivan said. 

Alfie nodded, "Okay, yeah, all of that is good advice. But also, don't be scared to go up and talk to girls. I did that, it sucked. Kevin, on the other hand, would get picked on for hanging out with girls, but really, he was just friends with them, and he had three dates for prom." 

"Nice." Ben chuckled. 

* * *

"Staring at it and checking it constantly won't make it ring." Cas said quietly, adjusting his collar in the wide mirror spanning the two sinks.

Dean shrugged and set his phone down, "Yeah, they're probably fine." 

"If calling would put you at ease, and keep you from checking your phone through dinner, it might make for less interruption to check in." 

"I'm not calling." Dean replied, "They're fine. I have total faith in them, they can handle a weekend." 

"Call." Cas said, picking up the phone and handing it back to him, "And then leave it here while we're at the restaurant." 

Dean nodded, "Yeah, okay." 

Claire's phone rang a bit longer than usual, but as she picked up, Dean could hear all the average sounds of the shop in the background, "Hey, what's up?" 

"Checking in. You guys doing okay?" Dean asked. 

"Yep. Everything is cool. Only got one big mystery repair today, and I put Randy on it. Everything else is basic grunt work, just enough to keep busy. Ben's going to make dinner, and nothing's on fire yet, so it must be going okay." 

"Okay, well, we're headed out for the night, if you need anything call Cas' phone." Dean replied, giving Cas a nod indicating that everything was fine. 

"Will do. You guys have fun." 

Getting off the phone and plugging it in to leave it on the nightstand, Dean confirmed it again, "Everything's fine... And it actually sounds like everything's fine." 

"As you expected." 

"Do they, um... Do they not need us anymore? I mean, what-" 

"Dean, don't start." 

"I'm just saying,-" 

"They don't need us constantly, no. And that's a sign of successful parenting." 

Dean nodded, "Yeah, okay. You're right... I mean, she wouldn't have a wild party with Ben around, not when she can wait a week and do it at Bobby's without him." 

"And after Halloween, Ben will be on his best behavior. It's a non-issue. Now we'd better get leaving before your clothes suddenly wind up on the floor again and we miss our reservation." 

* * *

Sunday afternoon, bored already, and with too much upheaval to properly process the fun that was supposed to be winter break and the fast approaching holiday, Ben logged into his school message board to see what his friends were doing. Or at least, that was what he told himself.

He sat with an open message window with Aubrey's username in the recipient line for quite some time, tapping his thumb on the corner of his tablet. 

"This is stupid... I already asked her why... I'm not asking her why again..." his thoughts went back to her, standing in front of him, and he wondered if she would have said something different if he'd hugged her, or tried to touch her face. But she said no one would believe him, "Probably wants me to tell Jack and Xander and everybody, just so she can say it never happened..." 

He started to write up a message, as snarky and sarcastic as he could manage, part of him hoping to send something that would gnaw at her as much as that one dreadfully confounding kiss was doing to him, but a notification for a new message popped up. In clicking it, he was given the option to save a draft or discard it, and after a moment to think, decided to let it go. He discarded the message, and was taken to the new one. 

_'hey Ben. thanks for passing that messege along for me, ur a realy good friend. I'll tell you what happened if u want, but short version, my cousin got busted for picking on somebody. Hope ur having a good break, maybe I'll see u at whits party. cu laterz! Millie"_

Ben considered Aubrey's words, _stop helping..._ Suddenly it didn't matter so much. He got up from his bed and went downstairs where Claire and Alfie were sitting on the couch with the television running with commercials on mute, and Alfie was singing something repetitive, Crimson and Clover, Claire was rolling her eyes, telling him to 'shut it,' and his grin was growing ever wider. 

"Hey, um..." Ben started, quickly looking down at his tablet, scanning the message one more time. He looked up at them again, "Can you decode this? Is she friendzoning me?" 

Claire took the tablet and read through the short message, "Doesn't look like it. Stalker, right? Not the stalkee?" 

Ben scoffed, "I'm not stalking Aubrey. And Millie's not stalking me, she was just acting weird for a while. Not anymore, I think." 

"She likes you." Claire said, passing Alfie the tablet. 

"Yeah, but she said I was a good friend, what does that part mean?" 

"She put that part in the same sentence where she thanks you, so the two are tied. You helped her out, and she's saying she appreciates that she can count on you. That could be a just-friends thing, but then she keeps going, offering to tell you what happened, and if it's a secret, she probably means in private, and then mentioning hoping to see you at a party, well..." Alfie shrugged and passed the tablet back to him. 

"She knew Jack liked her and tried to get him to go to a party this summer, but he didn't go..." 

"She's asking you out as subtly as she possibly can. Probably just doesn't want to run you off by being too direct." 

Claire turned around in her seat, "Tell her you were wondering about what happened, and you'll be there. I'll make sure you have a ride." 

"And that's like if she asked me out, that would be saying yeah?" Ben asked. 

Claire nodded, "Unless she creeps you out, in which case say it's cool, but you don't think you can go. Not a solid enough no to keep her from asking in the future, though. It's totally up to you, but she seems a lot nicer than that girl cornering you and ducking out a window." 

Ben looked at Alfie in horror, "You told her?" 

"Sorry, she overheard Ivan saying something to me about it, said she'd call your folks if we didn't talk." Alfie replied defensively. 

"Why is my business everybody's business?" Ben grumbled, tucking his tablet under his arm and heading for the kitchen. 

"Because you're the baby of the family," Claire called after him, "Our business is knowing your business. That's how we keep you out of trouble." 

Ben passed by a second time with a soda can, this time heading for the stairs, "You're making me miss being an only child." 

Claire chuckled as she reached for the remote. 

* * *

The blanket and top sheet had been stripped from Margaret's bed, leaving it as bare as the two bodies in the middle of it, and the pillows were a bunched up mess behind Kevin's back. Margaret had gotten comfortable, stretched out between his legs, resting the side of her head on his sternum. She groaned a complaint as he reached for the pen and paper again.

"Okay, not complaining," Kevin said with a smirk, "I do like taking breaks, but we have to figure this out." 

"No we don't. I'm just not going to die, and you're not allowed to, either." Margaret said, adjusting her arm to circle his waist. 

"Right. Except you're the one pushing this, when you're not all hopped up on endorphins. But we got that part out of the way, time to buckle down and focus. Who, aside from our awesome and amazing selves, is going to be able to keep Mike from becoming a serial killer or a tyrant? Keep him from doing drugs, and stealing, and just make sure he's safe and loved, and free to be himself?" 

Margaret shrugged, "Your mom did a great job with you." 

"Again, golden years, or whatever. Let her retire from momdom." 

"Cas and Dean? They're younger than she is, and they know what they're doing." 

"They'd be a really good option, not debating that, but I'm still thinking Alfie and Claire." Kevin replied. 

"They're barely any older than us. Statistically, they are more likely to break up than they are to stay together." 

"Well sure, if you want to just look at numbers. I don't think those two could have a relationship with anybody but each other." 

"So it's a dysfunctional, Stockholmy relationship? Great. Let's just croak and throw a baby into it. That'll make things better. And anyway, I don't think Claire wants kids." 

"From what I can tell, she's scared to raise any of her own, but there's no way she'd drop Mike off at a fire station, she'd take care of him... Or, she'd be kind of hands-off, and let Alfie handle it. Think about how she is with Ben." 

"That's a sibling thing. That's different." 

"She's gonna be there when he's born, though. She's going to love him almost as much as we do, she just doesn't know it yet. And she already said he can call her his aunt." Kevin replied, "I swear, once she gets used to the idea of him as a person, there's no way she'd say no." 

"Still, if they split up-" 

"That could happen with anybody. Even us. Hell, we're already planning to do that in our nineties, remember?" 

Kevin felt her arm tense around his waist. He tossed the pen and paper past the foot of the bed and stroked her damp hair back from her face before wrapping his arms around her. 

"There's really no getting out of it." she whispered, "Someday one or both of us is going to die, and that's gonna be it, huh?" 

"As far as anyone can really know... But right now, we're together, so, we keep it that way, and we get as close as possible as often as possible, and when that finally happens, we'll both be okay with it because we just, I don't know, loved as hard as we could." 

Margaret leaned her head back to look up at him, "So are we going to try to break our record today?" 

"Hey, I am good with the last four hours of constant skin-to-skin contact, but if you-" 

He was cut off by the sound of the doorbell. 

"Don't." Margaret said softly, "Just stay here, he'll go away." 

Kevin glanced around the floor, "I said I would." 

"You're just going to piss him off." 

"Let him be pissed off. He's interrupting fun time." Kevin replied, untangling himself and getting up from the bed. He quickly struggled into a couple of discarded articles of clothing, ignoring Margaret's snort of laughter, and hurried to the front door. 

He took a brief moment to look through the tiny peep hole and confirm the identity of the person on the other side before swinging the door open. 

"Henry... What's up?" Kevin asked, keeping a hold on the door, but leaning on the frame. 

Henry gave a very startled expression before breaking into a a growl, "You think you're funny?" 

"No, I think I'm sexy. But so does your daughter. That's how I got a hold of these in the first place." Kevin slipped his thumb into the waistband of the tiny, overly feminine underwear he wore, praying they'd stay in place just a bit longer, and snapped the elastic against his skin, "So, what brings you here?" 

"I-" Henry made the mistake of looking down again, immediately looking away again, shaking his head, "Son, you are making this a lot harder than it needs to be." 

"Awkward, but not entirely unexpected." Kevin replied. 

"I came here to try to apologize to my daughter, not talk to some disrespectful asshole with his junk hanging out. If you really loved her, you wouldn't act like this." 

"Oh, you wanted to apologize?" Kevin asked with an exaggerated nod, "You realize you're on her turf, right? And she might be tiny, but whatever Queen Margaret wants, Queen Margaret gets. Whether that's a foot rub, a pork chop and strawberry smoothie, or your ass on the curb. You understand that?" 

"Are you on drugs, boy?" 

"Yeah. I'm addicted to your daughter." Kevin replied with utmost annoyance as he opened the door wider, "C'mon. I'll see if she'll grant you an audience. Anything that even hints at any kind of violence or kidnapping, though, and we'll be on a plane to some foreign country with fake passports before the cops even give you a phone call." 

Henry nodded in compliance and stepped inside. Kevin directed him into the living room, heading for Margaret's room, and below the much too small tshirt, it became clear as Kevin walked away that he was wearing a thong. 

"Jesus Christ. My grandkid doesn't stand a chance at normal." Henry mumbled, taking a seat hesitantly. 

Kevin slipped into the bedroom, closing the door, and immediately removed what he was wearing. 

"How'd it go?" Margaret asked from the bed. 

"He, um... He stayed calm, didn't yell, didn't threaten, only called me a disrespectful asshole and I think he meant I was embarrassing you." Kevin replied, finding his jeans, "Says he wants to apologize to you." 

"Wow... Maybe you should have kept those on, seems to be a good luck charm." Margaret said quietly, "What's with the pants?" 

"Oh. He's in the living room. I said I'd see if you felt like hearing him out... Don't freak out, I don't mind telling him no." 

Margaret ran a hand over her face, "Not what I wanted to do today." 

Kevin crawled up the bed over her, kissing his way up her leg and torso until he got to her face, "You are absolutely incredible, and completely in charge. I don't think you really want to choose to be an orphan, I think you want your parents to respect you and your choices, like they should. Maybe you got your point across. If you didn't, if he starts anything, I'm going to get creative in public, and he will never live it down. Okay?" 

Margaret nodded reluctantly. 

"I'm here for you, every bit of me, I won't leave your side. This is all you. You get out there and give him hell, and after he's gone, we'll go for round five, if you're up for it." 

Easily overwhelmed due to hormones, she looked as though she were going to cry, "You are always so supportive. Even when we were broken up you had my back... I love you so much." 

"Woah, I love you too, don't cry, okay? If you go out there all puffy and red, how's that going to look? Deep breaths. You got this." 

She nodded, "I can do this." 

Kevin kissed her softly, "Clothes, though." 

"Yeah." 

He was on his feet in a heartbeat, helping her up from the bed, "I'll go let him know you're coming out so he can remind himself to be nice." 

Margaret nodded, heading for the closet, "Be out in a minute." 

Kevin barely paused to tug on a tshirt that actually fit him before leaving the room. 

Entering the living room again, Henry was doing his best to avoid looking at him until he realized Kevin had jeans on. Kevin leaned on the back of the couch, addressing Henry, who waited uncomfortably on an arm chair, "Good work leading with an apology. She's going to give you a shot." 

"So, did you talk her into talking to me like I did for you after that screw up with your tattoo?" Henry asked. 

"No. I told her she's amazing, and she doesn't have to forgive you for shit, especially if your 'sorry' sounds fake. But if you actually mean it, and you recognize her for the person she is, and how badly you've treated her, she might be willing to have contact in the future. Last thing that I would do right now, though, is push your luck. She's gone months without you, and she's fine." 

"Because of you, huh?" 

"No. God, this has nothing to do with me, Henry. She has got a job and a car and she's still in college, all shit I had nothing to do with. We're sorting out legal papers as fall-back plan in case things don't work out, she's doing all kinds of research on the stuff we're getting for the baby, she's a badass... I really have no idea how you don't see that." 

"How did she get a car?" Henry asked, incredulous. 

"I told you, she's a badass. Hell, where she works, she might have slapped one together, herself." 

Henry gave a confused shake of his head as Kevin heard Margaret's door open. 

"Holy crap... You don't even know where she works? She was already working there when you threw her out." 

Margaret walked in slowly, her expression set, and moved to sit on the couch, arranging pillows to get comfortable. Her normally bubbly personality made her stern silence all the more deafening. 

"Maggie..." Henry said, his voice little more than a whisper at seeing his youngest child up close in a clear light for the first time in months, "You look healthy... Are you? You and the baby? You're eating okay? Staying warm?" 

"Yep. Just fine. Baby's measuring a little bit big, but not by much." she answered in an emotionless tone. 

"How far along are you?" 

It burned Kevin's ears to hear her, the same heartless tone she'd used when she'd ended their relationship months before, and he knew how much it had to hurt Henry to be on the receiving end of it now. 

"Eight months. I'm due in February." Margaret replied. 

Henry nodded, "You two pick out any names yet?" 

Margaret settled a cold stare on him and Kevin, feeling somewhat anxious that things were about to go south, circled the couch and sat down next to her. 

Uneasy, Henry shifted in his seat, "Maggie, I... I didn't handle this well. But I didn't yell at you. You're an adult, you... you made your decisions, and I guess you made it work..." 

"Yeah, I did." 

"I didn't make that any easier on you, I know-" 

"Shut the fuck up." Margaret snapped. "This is the shittiest excuse for an apology I have ever heard, and I know you know how... You know a legal tenant gets thirty days when they get evicted? You didn't want me out on my own two feet, you wanted me to cave and do things your way. You have no right to come in here and act you're proud of me for getting through the shit you put in my way." 

"Maggie-" 

"You cut my tuition! That's not even your money to do that with, grandpa left it for me when he died! It's mine for school, and god only knows what you're doing with it." 

"I didn't do anything with it, I just stopped the payments to the college. I thought maybe you'd want to go back after the baby-" 

"Are you serious?" Kevin asked, looking to Henry. 

"Why pay for classes you can't use? That wastes it." Henry replied, spreading his hands. 

"I didn't drop out. I'm not going to, either." Margaret said firmly, her voice was getting louder, but Kevin found it justifiable. 

"I'm trying to look out for your future, because you're my daughter and I love you." Henry said defensively, "What kind of work are you doing, anyway, that you're still paying for classes, and you have a car? Because if it's not legal, you better get out of it now, or you're gonna lose that kid." 

"It's all legal. Got anything else you want to lecture me about? Because I haven't heard the word 'sorry' at any point from you. Not for kicking me out, not for trying to force my hand, and not for stealing from me, so..." Margaret shrugged. 

"Maggie-... Pumpkin... I am. I really am sorry. I should have given you more time, and I should have helped you get yourself set up, even if I didn't like the way you were doing things...For you, and for the baby. And I have been..." Henry took a moment to compose himself as his voice was beginning to crack, "I have been worried sick about you... You know, your mother has never said a harsh word to me, but Thanksgiving, she told me if I didn't fix this, she was gonna leave me." 

"So you're here for you." 

"No!... That's just, that's how stressful things have been since you-, since I kicked you out... And I deserve it, but I still want to try to make this right." Henry ran a hand over his stubble, "I don't know what you want from me, darlin', I just know this whole thing blew up in my face and it keeps getting worse... just so worried about you." 

Margaret seemed to stare off into space for a moment, as Kevin started to wonder what was running through her head. 

"I can put oil in my own car." she said quietly and slowly, "I can do that all by myself... I don't need a man to handle it for me... And it's my car, so if I said nobody else gets to do it, then that's how it is... I have my own life... It's small, but it's going really good, and... I really don't need you to be part of it... I'm just not sure you understand that. That it's my choice whether you're a part of it or not." 

"What about him?" Henry asked, trying to keep his emotions in check as he gestured to Kevin, "You're gonna tell me you don't need a man in your life while you're running around with this ass-clown?" 

Margaret scoffed, "I _choose_ to have this ass-clown in my life, because he reminds me that it's my life, and I'm the one running it, not because I need him... I'm just lucky that he chooses me back." 

* * *


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: So I was on twitter [@FythyrWisp] trying to figure out a ship name for Alfie/Samandriel and Claire... Said I already had Kevaret, but, Clalfie, Clamandriel, Alfaire, Novandriel, I dunno... Made a joke about Clamandevaret, but no. No plans to make them a more than platonic foursome.
> 
> Something big and dark is coming. I keep rereading it and trying to make sure it hits as hard as possible, because it's right out of the blue, and is supposed to shake you, and it's slowing me down. I think I almost have it, and the resulting reaction about done.
> 
> Starting to block out more pieces for the final story. It's going to span a much longer time, more like a couple of decades instead of several months. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! Thanks for sticking with me and encouraging me while I try to sort out all these little twists and turns in my head, and make them into compelling entertainment! You're all really supportive! FW)

* * *

"New Years?" Dean fussed as Cas nodded along with the conversation on the phone, "The whole point of 'right after Christmas' was to give him time to settle in before school, he's gonna have, what? Four days?"

"Of course, we don't want to rush things," Cas said, shooting a glance at Dean, "We just want to make sure he has adequate time to adjust to his new living situation before school starts... Yes, of course we'd be willing to help with that... Wonderful. So we're still on for two o'clock tomorrow? Great... Yes, we'll see you then." 

Dean raised his eyebrows impatiently as Cas got off the phone. 

"They promised to take him to the midnight fireworks display at the high school stadium." Cas explained. 

"Oh, so, our first holiday with the kid, we have to go drop him back over at their house? Awesome." Dean grumbled sarcastically. 

Cas set the phone down on his desk as he leaned back in his chair, "It gives Xander a little more closure. We don't want him to feel unwanted." 

"Unwanted by the assholes who want to unload him, right." 

"By the family that originally attempted to take him despite the extra burden they knew was attached, yes. If you keep phrasing it that way, though, Ben, or eventually Xander, will overhear it. You need to stop." Cas said softly. 

Dean nodded, "Only saying what I'm thinking." 

"Then stop thinking it. They tried. We don't know that we'll be able to do any better." 

"He's still having trouble putting three syllable words together on paper, right? You've got a background in education. It'll work." 

"I _had_ a background in education, and I never used it. I turned into a glorified file clerk." Cas replied. 

Dean scoffed, "There is a whole hell of a lot more to running a school than paperwork." 

"And you know this because...?" 

"Because this principal I know talks in his sleep." Dean answered, clicking his tongue as he winked, before patting Cas' cheek and heading for the kitchen. 

* * *

Claire woke roughly with her hands gently restrained. She wasn't being held down, only held away, her fists suspended, contained for the time being. A familiar sound was tearing through the nightmare to reach her, soothing her.

It was both sad and fortunate that they both knew what to expect, as Claire slowly got used to sleeping in a new place without medicating her insomnia. Thankfully, Alfie had sang the song to her enough times during far more pleasant and relaxed times together, her mind had begun to associate it with a feeling of peace and safety. His voice was too high to mimic Marty Robbins, the only professional recording of it that she listened to - granted, an odd version to begin with - and so she knew as soon as she heard it that Alfie was with her. 

Her arms relaxed, and he continued softly as he wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb, waiting patiently as she settled into his arms, slowly, not unlike the imagery of the river and sea in the lyrics. 

Of course other couples had songs specific to their relationships, perhaps even the same, well-known song, but few could find quite the same meaning, the same use for it that they had. In private they occasionally referred to it as her tranquilizer dart. 

Still coming down from the panic with nothing solid or certain to her besides Alfie, she clung to him tightly, tangling her arms around him. 

Alfie slipped his bare arm up the back of her soft pajama shirt, feeling her breathing slow, "Better?" 

"Stupid weak-ass furnace." Claire mumbled. 

"The repair guy is coming tomorrow." 

"It's metal, it takes wrenches, we could do it. Find out how online." 

"Yeah, and blow up the place." 

Claire shrugged, "Might be fun... Definitely be warm." 

"You get so antsy when you have to keep your clothes on," Alfie whispered, "It'd be cute if you weren't so distracting." 

"I keep them on... Just, your skin helps..." she mumbled. 

"Great. I'll get naked, and you can stay warm." Alfie answered with a smirk. 

"Tighter." Claire whispered sleepily. 

Alfie tightened his arms around her ribs, increasing the pressure until she gave a tiny moan, settling her head against him. In minutes she was asleep again, this time, peacefully. Her limp body in his arms, her relaxed face, were a stark contrast to his mind as thoughts churned. 

Not wanting to disturb her, he pressed his lips to her hairline. Guilt washed through him as he questioned whether he would still love her so deeply, so completely, if she weren't so damaged and broken deep down. He was certain that damage was the underlying root of her ability to love him, and without it, she'd have found someone better. He didn't deserve her, but he did his best to try, to comfort her and keep her happy. Anything she wanted, as long as she stayed. 

He considered the possibility that his need for her, his own desperation not to be alone, to do anything to keep her, was the counterpart to it. But it wasn't one-sided. She cared for him deeply, obviously, going so far as to interrupt one of Naomi's lectures on her last day in town, telling her to 'get off his ass.' She worried about him being alone every time he had to travel. And she was absolutely right about him not being able to live in the enormous house he'd been foolish enough to start building. 

And now, here they were, in a smaller bedroom, in a small house, wrapped in each other's arms... He felt safe. It wasn't at all fair that she could do so much to protect him from himself and the things he ran from, and all he could do was comfort her after her nightmares, but he wasn't about to let that safety go. He needed it. He needed her, even if it was a selfish love. 

* * *

Julie came home from a long day at the diner, only to hear the sound of a guitar as she went up the steps of the porch, which wasn't unexpected at all. She'd left the car at home, taking Ivan's truck so he could go to the store with Cyndi, but even with not having to walk or get a ride, or having to split her time to keep Cyndi occupied, she was exhausted.

The Christmas tree had come down, there were more toys out than usual, and Ivan was playing an older song he'd been learning for some time. He'd changed Ricky Nelson's lyrics just a bit, and Cyndi, with an energy Julie envied, was dancing in a bouncy circle with a large toy construction vehicle in her hands. 

Ivan was grinning widely, until he looked up, "Hey... You okay?" 

Julie nodded weakly, setting down her purse and shrugging out of her coat, "Just tired." 

"Well, go catch a nap. We'll keep it quiet, Cyndi's gonna help me make dinner." 

"Snap!" Cyndi screeched happily. 

"Snap?" Julie asked. 

"Yeah, she can snap the green beans in half. We did that last time, so she was pointing at them at the store, she wants to snap." Ivan shrugged, "Gets her to eat them, right?" 

Julie nodded, "Yeah, I guess so..." 

"Seriously, you look kinda pale. Go lay down, I'll wake you up when it's time for dinner." 

Julie nodded and started for the back bedroom. When she'd moved in, officially, she was sharing with Cyndi. There had been no discussion, but at some point it had changed. She'd worried and beat herself up over it, but there was no denying it - Cyndi was happy. In just a few weeks, she was saying more, playing more, and she was happy. 

She heard Ivan speaking quietly in the living room as she kicked off her shoes and got on the bed. He was directing Cyndi to help him pick up her toys, and planning to read to her when they finished. 

Julie shook her head, unsure how she'd wound up with a boyfriend so comfortable treating her eighteen-month old like a person, with individual likes and goals, and teeny-tiny responsibilities. 

A wave of nausea hit her roughly, and she bolted for the bathroom, stumbling over her own feet. Something was off, but she couldn't place it. It certainly couldn't be-... Well, it wasn't impossible. 

Julie quickly got back to bed after rinsing her mouth, and checked the calendar in her phone with shaky hands. Two days late, probably no reason for concern. Not yet, anyway... 

"No, we're gonna read a book. We need to be quiet. Mama's sleepy." she heard Ivan's voice come down the hallway. 

She'd had a few scares before Cyndi, but somehow this one wasn't quite so scary. Maybe it should have been, she was living in a mobile home with an ex-con she'd only been dating for a few months... On the other hand, he was reading a princess book, and doing exaggerated voices for each character to keep her toddler happy and involved until it was time to cook green beans. 

Suddenly, for a brief moment, it wasn't scary at all, and she made a mental note to pick up a pregnancy test in the morning before she dozed off. 

* * *

"Are you sure?" Cas asked over the breakfast table, "I don't mind going in a little late."

"Nah, we'll take the bus." Ben replied, "But heading home, we'll let you know." 

Xander shrugged as Cas looked to him. 

"Well, just be careful not to overdo it." Cas replied. 

A short time later, walking to the mailboxes, Ben turned to Xander, "So, sorry about the stairs thing. I thought you were just goofing off." 

"It's getting easier." Xander replied, "The doctors said they won't really know how much damage happened until stuff stops improving. So, like, I could turn fifty and be fine, I guess, but they don't know until it happens." 

Ben nodded, "So... Man, I don't want this to sound mean, but, do you, like, feel stupider?" 

"How is feeling stupid supposed to feel?" Xander asked, "I mean, I feel like a dumbass having to get shoes with zippers because I can't get the strings to work. I'm having a hard time with telling the difference between a Z and a two, but sometimes I can answer a question right with a whole lot of detail, and it's like I'm really awesome at it. So, I don't know. But then sometimes they ask stuff I don't understand at all." 

The school day went by fairly easily, with Jack joining them, and Trey avoiding all three. Over the break, Xander had let slip a few things about Trey, and the Lyttons had apparently had it out with Trey's parents in a rather loud phone call. This hadn't helped Jack's reputation any, but he seemed to be taking it in stride. 

Xander had been pulled for private instruction again, and the art teacher was running late, as was a regular occurrence, when Jack had whispered something Ben didn't catch, and gestured past his shoulder. 

Trying not to be obvious, Ben took a quick, scanning look, and found Aubrey glaring at him. She quickly looked away, and he continued to mind his own business. 

"She looks pissed, man. What did you do?" Jack hissed. 

"I didn't do anything." 

Jack made a noise of disbelief, "Maybe that's the problem, she wants you to do something... Go talk to her." 

Ben shook his head. 

"Go. Before the teacher gets here." 

"I'm not gonna do that." 

"Scared of girls?" 

"Just that one." Ben replied. 

Jack looked back at Aubrey, past Ben and waved with a grin, "There... she's coming over." 

"What?" Ben asked, trying to find an excuse to move, "Crap..." 

"Did you need something?" Aubrey asked quietly with an irritated tone. 

"No." Jack replied with a chuckle. 

"Then what are you waving at?" she asked. 

Jack shrugged, "Damn. Trouble with the ladies, huh?" 

Ben did his best to look invisible as Jack gave him a soft slug in the arm. It wasn't working. Alfie had referred to Kevin, Ben tried to consider what course of action Kevin would be most likely to take. What advice had Claire given? Aside from staying away from Aubrey... Nothing sounded like a particularly smart idea. 

"Um, hi, Aubrey." 

"Were you talking about me?" 

"No. That would be rude." Ben answered. 

Aubrey turned to Jack, "What was he saying?" 

Jack smirked, "You really want to know?" 

"Jack, seriously. Don't start anything." Ben said quietly. 

"Yeah, I really want to know." Aubrey replied. 

"He said," Jack started... 

* * *

"I'm sorry," Hannah replied, cutting Jack's explanation short as she noticed Cas had cracked the door behind the boys, "Could you repeat that one more time?"

"I said, that Ben said, that he spent enough time at the bakery to find out what her cupcakes taste like." Jack answered. 

Ben sat low in his seat, glaring at the front of the desk behind Hannah. 

Cas rubbed at his forehead. 

"Okay... Why don't you tell me exactly what you think that means? Or at least, what that might mean to Aubrey." Hannah continued. 

Jack shrugged uncomfortably, "I have no idea. Cupcakes are cupcakes." 

"That's crap and you know it." Ben snapped, "You can't pretend to be stupid to get out of this. You're making it sound like I said something about her, and it's really freaking nasty, and I never said that!" 

"Ben, calm down." Hannah said firmly. 

"Why? He's making up junk about me saying, like, I don't know, harassy stuff! It's him saying it, but I'm the one that's gonna get in trouble, and he knows he's making it sound like he's talking about boobs or girl-junk." Ben replied, still agitated. 

"The bakery has really good cupcakes, though." Jack said quietly, trying to change the subject. 

"You made her cry, ass-face!" Ben snapped, "It's not okay to say crap like that to girls if you wouldn't say it to guys!" 

Cas had approximately three seconds of parental pride before it came crashing to the ground as Jack smarted off, "Why? How many guys' cupcakes have you tasted?" 

Ben answered him clearly with a clean punch that would result in an eventual black eye. 

Cas immediately stepped into the room, "Ben!... My office, now. Ms Rowland will be in to speak to you in a moment." 

Ben scurried out as fast as a boy his size could, and Cas looked back to Hannah, only to hear Jack laughing softly. 

"Jack," Hannah said sternly, "Did Ben actually make any comments about Aubrey? Or did you make it up to upset her?" 

"All he said was she's scary. I just thought it would be funny to make her mad at him." Jack replied. 

Hannah nodded, "Let's see if we can get one of your parents on the phone." 

Cas nodded his agreement and stepped out into the hallway, heading for the counselor's office. He paused outside the door, wondering briefly if Claire had been this much trouble in middle school. With a move around fifth grade, he'd lost contact with her completely during those years, and had only Claire's word to go on for that time, not that he'd asked, as her history was such a sore subject. 

He knocked quietly before opening the door to find Aubrey avoiding the counselor's intent to make eye contact. 

"Aubrey?" Cas asked softly, getting her attention, "I am very sorry to hear you're having a rough day, but there's a bit of confusion about who's at fault, here. Not you, of course, but while we have a clear idea of what was said today, I wanted to ask... You and Ben have had some contact outside of school, has he ever said or done anything to make you uncomfortable?" 

Aubrey shrugged dismissively, "No." 

"Of course if you don't want to tell me, you can say so when I leave the room, Ms Rowland is handling this incident if you'd have an easier time speaking to her about it, but it's very important that if anyone has been harassing, or threatening, or even just upsetting you, that you speak up about it... We don't want any of the students here to feel unsafe." 

Aubrey suddenly looked deeply uncomfortable, "So he told you?" 

"Told me what?" Cas asked. 

* * *

"He kissed her?" Dean asked, the in-school suspension form still on his hand as he stood on the back porch.

"No, she said it was the other way around." Cas replied. 

"So he was making comments?" 

"No, Jack was making inappropriate comments." 

"Wait... what did Ben do?" 

"He punched Jack for making inappropriate comments." 

"About the girl?" Dean asked. 

"No, this one was about Ben. Although in my unprofessional opinion, altogether, Jack had it coming." Cas replied. 

Dean looked up, catching sight of Ben in the window above the kitchen sink. 

"Hey!" Dean called, pointing to the paper in his hand, "Why do you hang out with this kid in the first place?" Ben rolled his eyes and walked away, causing Dean to turn back to Cas, "So we have proof it was Ben?" 

"It happened in front of me, Dean. It was painfully obvious. I'm not sure he knew I was there, but it was directly in front of the vice principal, as well." 

Dean looked closer at the handwriting on the paper in the dim porch light, "'How many guys' cupcakes...' Little shit... Okay, so they're both suspended... You know this is just sticking them in the same room to either continue the fight or make up and plan their next round of crap, right?" 

Cas nodded reluctantly, "Aside from an out-of-school suspension-" 

"Yeah, nobody wants that on their records." Dean replied, "You know, I always heard boys were easier. I don't get it." 

"That would be an average, I'm sure." 

Dean nodded tiredly and took a drink of his beer, "Okay, so, if Jack had it coming..." 

"I wouldn't ground him for this." Cas replied, reaching for the bottle as Dean offered it and taking a drink. 

"Okay... Maybe I should talk to him about this girl, though." 

Cas shook his head, "I shouldn't even have told you that, it's supposed to be confidential. I'm sure if it was a big deal to him, he would have told you." 

"Okay, let him have his little secret, then. I'll give it a week, and he's getting the talk." 

"You said he was getting the talk this summer when he made that comment on the phone?" Cas responded, passing the bottle back to him. 

"That kind of... I don't know what happened. But this time-" 

"You could get a check list off the internet to make sure you cover everything." 

"I don't need a checklist, I can just have a simple, open conversation with my kid. Ben and I, we can talk about anything. He knows that." Dean said confidently. 

Cas shrugged, "Of course." 

"And if he doesn't want to talk to me about it-" 

"I'll keep an ear open in case he has questions." 

Dean nodded, his nervousness clear, "Well, one way or another, we got this, right?" 

"We usually do." Cas replied, "Of course I understand if you want to take the lead on this, but if I can support you-" 

"I don't know, I might need a refresher tonight, make sure I know what I'm talking about." Dean said, heading for the door. 

"I can help with that, too." Cas replied with a steady look. 

Dean set his beer down on the table as he passed through the kitchen, heading upstairs. He could hear the sound of video games coming from Ben's open door, and voices getting raised. 

"Jump! No, you gotta jump and hit-" 

"Which one's the jump?" 

"A! A is the jump! The green one!" 

"I can't-" 

"CRAP!" 

A loud thump resounded from the closet, making Dean hold back a moment. 

"What the hell, man? You used to kick my ass at this game." Ben said with a genuine confusion. After a moment of silence from Xander, Dean heard him speak again, "Dude, I'm sorry. I got too wrapped up, I forgot. I'm not trying to make fun of you... You'll get back to being good at it." 

"Maybe I should stick to the easier games for a bit while I get back to it." Xander answered, clearly unhappy, "Sorry I broke the controller." 

"That one had a busted trigger button, anyway." 

Dean crept around the corner to lean into the closet where the boys were sitting on the floor, "That got loud." 

"Sorry." Ben and Xander echoed. 

"It's fine, but, um, Xander, I gotta talk to Ben about school, how about you go see about setting the table?" Dean asked, offering him a hand up from the floor. 

As Xander left the room, Dean leaned against the closet door frame, "So... Punching people." 

"I don't know if Jack counts." Ben suggested. 

"Right in front of Ms Rowland, even. You knew there was no way you were gonna get away with that." 

Ben shrugged, "I figured I was going to get in trouble anyway, he might as well get what he deserved. And he said he was sorry on the bus home, so, he thought he had it coming, too." 

"Why would you get in trouble? Apart from punching Jack, you're not." 

"I'm not?" 

"No." 

"Oh... I thought I was going to get blamed for what Jack told Aubrey I said." 

Dean shrugged, "That could have happened, but Cas says Aubrey didn't believe you said that, and Jack made it up. Jack said he made it up, nobody believes you started it. You wouldn't be in trouble if it weren't for punching Jack in the face." 

Ben leaned back against the wall, "How come Jack keeps starting crap like that? I mean, he's my friend, but then out of nowhere he's trying to make Aubrey mad at me and get me in trouble? It doesn't make any sense." 

"Makes perfect sense. The kid used to pick on you constantly, remember? He always got lighter repercussions at school if he got any, and he acts up because it's the only way to get attention. Maybe his parents want to be more hands-off, but that's not what he wants, so he winds up in trouble. You never really had a problem behaving yourself. Now, he's older, maybe he's still trying to set people off, maybe he likes that girl, maybe he's just lonely, or he's trying to get your attention, and that's the only way he knows how." 

"What, like he likes me?" Ben asked with a look of disgust. 

"No. Like, you're a good friend, but you guys haven't had a lot of time to hang out lately." Dean replied, "Of course, if you guys did like each other, I hope you'd say something about it, same as if there was some girl involved." 

Ben gave an annoyed grunt and started putting away the controllers and game boxes that had migrated to the floor around him. 

"Okay, well, Cas said he saw the whole thing, and since you're getting punished for it at school... And it was a bullshit move from Jack, suspension is enough punishment. But no more hitting over words. You're smart enough to come up with a response, otherwise, you keep your mouth shut and find somebody else to hang out with. This happens again, you're in deep shit, got it?" 

"Yeah." Ben replied, getting up. 

* * *

"Okay," Ivan's voice was soft, but the sound of the plastic bag was irritating, "Got you some sports drinks, soup, and that other thing..."

"What?" Julie asked, trying to find enough energy to sit up. 

"The stuff you wanted from the store... You don't remember?" Ivan asked. 

Julie pulled her phone from the bedside table with a shaky hand, checking the time, "Oh, god, I'm late for work." 

"Hey, no, I called in for you. You can't wait tables, you're gonna get everybody sick." Ivan replied, pulling a bottle of hand sanitizer from the bag as well, "You hit one-oh-four this morning, remember?" 

Julie set her phone down again, "What did I need at the store?" 

"Um, chicken noodle, crackers, just stuff to stay down easy. So, you think it's a stomach bug or the flu?" Ivan asked. Julie shrugged weakly, "Well, everything's fine, I'm gonna try to keep Cyndi from climbing on you so she doesn't get it, too. Nothing to worry about, and I left the other thing in the bathroom." 

She could hear Cyndi calling him as he got up, leaving her with an open drink and a promise of soup, and she tried to get back to sleep. Everything ached. She couldn't remember most of the morning, but she did seem to recall Ivan coming into the room to speak to her, saying he'd slept on the couch, and would be back in a while. But what had she said? 

Her body wasn't about to let her get back to sleep just yet, however, and she rolled out of bed, moving slowly. 

Julie's concern about her fever interrupting her verbal filter was confirmed when she got to the door of the bathroom and spotted a small box on the corner of the sink. 

In a matter of minutes, she was looking at a negative test, and breathing a sigh of relief. Somehow she had enough wits about her, however, to consider her next course of action as she opened the door, leaning on the wall, "Hey, Ivan?" 

Footsteps vibrated through the floor of the small building as he hurried through it, "Yeah?" 

"It's negative," she held the capped stick out enough for him to get a look, "But, um, these things are only good for like, ten, twenty minutes, then they can change, so... Didn't want you to go digging in the trash and freak out, that's all." 

"Okay... Um, you look like you're gonna fall over, so-" 

"Yeah, I'm going." Julie replied with a nod, dropping the test in the small garbage can and moving toward the bedroom. 

"I mean, thanks for telling me." Ivan continued awkwardly, "You kind of had me worried this morning, I was kinda hoping it was just from a fever dream or something." 

"Um, yeah... I don't remember much. But thanks for picking that up for me." 

"Yeah, it's no problem." Ivan replied as she got back into the bed, "Listen, it's not really something we've talked about, but, um, I was wondering about that... Is that, like, a thing for you?" 

"What?" 

"Having kids? Not like right now, but, in the future? I mean, Cyndi's great, just, I wasn't sure, some girls are like 'one-and-done.' I didn't know if, uh..." 

"If I wanted more kids?" Julie asked, "I didn't really want to have Cyndi in the first place, but, yeah... I think I might want to have kids, like, years down the road, you know?" 

Ivan nodded, "Yeah, I know... I mean, if you were, you know, whatever, but, yeah." 

"Or did you mean with you?" 

Ivan made an involuntary choking sound, "Uh..." 

"Sorry, I shouldn't put you on the spot like that." Julie said softly. 

Ivan turned to look down the hallway for a moment, and she could hear an educational cartoon playing quietly. He stepped closer and sat down on the foot of the bed, "Okay, I keep putting this off, wussing out, or, well, just finding a reason it's not the right time, but... Look, I don't want this to be a temporary thing, okay? This has been kind of a tough couple of months, but, it's been really good, too. And... God, I hate sticking labels on stuff, but, um, you know, you, me, and Cyndi, this could work. And, y'know, anybody else that shows up." 

"You mean like a family?" 

"Yeah." 

"I don't even know if I'm going to remember this later." Julie chuckled. 

"Nothing's forever these days, but that doesn't mean we can't try... Maybe work toward that." Ivan said quietly. 

"Is that a country song?" Julie chuckled. 

"It is if I write it for you." Ivan answered, squeezing her ankle through the blanket. 

"This is kind of hard, I mean, and Cyndi's... She's not yours." 

"She could be, maybe." Ivan replied with a shrug, "I mean, we should talk it over when you're feeling better, okay?" 

* * *


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Slight bit of origin story, and ends with a bit of set-up...
> 
>  
> 
> I am trying really hard to get this done by GISHWHES, and I think I can manage it! Fingers crossed!
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading! Hope this one amuses you! FW)

* * *

** Then **

* * *

Despite the lengthy drive and lack of sleep, Cas was still seething when he crossed the state line between Arizona and California. Most of it was directed at Amelia, but a good portion was also directed at himself.

Not Claire, of course. She was growing up quickly, but she was still a child. A child who needed her parents. It was perfectly reasonable for her to tell him. If it was true, of course. But would he have driven over a thousand miles overnight if he didn't think it was a very real probability? 

He carried a strong hope in the back of his mind that this was nothing more than an immature plea for attention, that Amelia was her usual, flighty and impetuous self, annoying, but otherwise harmless. He hoped all that would be required of him was a stern conversation, but at the same time, if Claire was so desperate for contact and a stronger relationship with him, he certainly wouldn't mind setting up regular visitation, and getting to know his child better. 

_'Mom's on drugs... she's been using for years, it just... it got really bad lately... and I'm scared.'_ her words echoed in his thoughts as he drove. She certainly sounded afraid, _'I'm really sorry if I'm bugging you, dad... But, the high school out here is bad news anyway, and, well, I was kind of thinking about going to the college out there where you live anyway, and I read online I had a better shot of getting in if I was local, so, um... Is it okay if I come live with you?'_

He'd had to take a moment, having heard those words. He had to hold back, even though he desperately wanted to say yes, to have his child in his life. What he wanted, and what was best for her weren't necessarily the same thing. 

He was sure, thinking through it again, his carefully measured response had lacked empathy, and he felt certain that pause had made her assume he'd only decided to act out of obligation, _'Claire, there are some drugs that, while they still aren't healthy, aren't that big of a deal. Marijuana, especially, tends to be overlooked, even in courts these days, cocaine, too.'_

_'Yeah, I know, she does pot and coke, too. But she's been shooting up smack for a few months now, and last week she did a speedball, and it got really bad.'_ At barely fourteen, he wasn't sure she should even know those terms. 

_'Okay... Okay, I am going to take a couple of days, I'll be out there soon. If your mother is capable of being reasonable, we'll discuss it.'_ Claire had sounded tearful as she thanked him. 

The longer he drove, the more it seemed likely that Claire was telling the truth. Amelia had always been the worst combination of lazy and thrill-seeking. Extensive drug abuse would be right up her alley. 

Finally finding the address in a rather beaten down part of town, in a dingy tri-plex, Cas double checked the address, and braced himself for what he was certain was going to be a rough reunion. 

As he was about to knock a second time, the door of unit C slid open a bit with the chain still on, and in the gap was a face soft with youth in spite of a set of eyes that had clearly seen too much. "Claire?" 

"Yeah. Hang on." she replied, shutting the door to unlock the chain, and opening it again, this time, wide. 

He hadn't expected her to be so tall. He hoped it was just the awkward growth of puberty, but he wasn't certain she was eating well... It pained him to tear his eyes away, but he looked around the room. Ash trays, needles, rather suspicious looking trash, and a makeshift bong fashioned from a soda bottle were in plain sight on the rickety coffee table, and between it and the couch, Amelia was laying on the floor. 

Stepping inside past Claire, noticing how she shrank away, uncomfortable, he bent down over Amelia to check her pulse on her neck, and her breathing. Satisfied that she was still alive, he looked around the paraphernalia that littered the room that he hadn't noticed at first. 

"You didn't touch any of this, did you?" he asked. 

"No... Mostly I just stay in my room." she answered, her voice nearly a whisper. 

Cas nodded, "Well, I certainly can't leave you here, that would be criminal neglect... Go get anything you want to take with you, I'm not sure you'll be coming back." 

Claire nodded and slipped down the hallway quickly. Cas waited until she was gone and bent over Amelia again, patting her face roughly, "Amelia... wake up... Amy... I'm taking Claire with me. You'd better say something if you have any intention of keeping your child." 

He fought the urge to slap her sharply as she gave a weak shake of her head, completely unaware of her surroundings. There were many things he wanted to say to her, but he couldn't risk Claire overhearing them. 

Claire reappeared a moment later with a large backpack, carrying a book and an extra pair of shoes in her hand. He looked her over as she avoided his eyes, "Is that all you're taking?" 

Claire shrugged, "Um... I don't have a lot of stuff." 

Cas nodded in response, and followed her out, waiting as Claire locked the door behind her. 

It wasn't until they'd stopped for a late lunch at the Denny's in Blythe, just before reaching the the Arizona border that he'd gotten the opportunity to unload his feelings properly. Claire had been quiet and tense the entire time, and had had trouble keeping a conversation. She also looked as though she hadn't slept in days. 

He'd finished eating and told her to order a desert if she wanted one, excusing himself, making it clear that he was going to call her mother, but he was not about to turn around. 

The phone rang several times before the answering machine picked up, and Cas, stressed and exhausted, was barely able to keep his anger in check. He only managed it by focusing on the fact that the recording could be used later in court, if Amelia tried to fight him for custody, and tried to sound reasonable. 

"Amelia, it's Cas... I tried to speak to you earlier, but you were passed out on the floor, unresponsive. That was about nine-thirty this morning. I'm assuming that was due to the drugs you had laying around your unconscious body... in front of my daughter, no less... She called me. I wasn't butting in, I want to make that very clear. She doesn't want to live with you anymore. This has clearly been quite the ordeal for her, and you should be ashamed of yourself for putting her through it. Claire will be living in my home, I'm sure you can find the address on the child support checks I keep sending you if you want to reach her. I'll send the next two months to give you some time to adjust. But she's safe, I'm sure you'll want to know that when you wake up, and since I've never been denied custody, this entirely rules out reporting her as a runaway or kidnapping. You know how to reach me if you want to talk about this, but from a legal perspective, given her age... and a couple of drug tests, there's really nothing to say. I think we both know that." 

Cas ended the call, well aware he'd reused Amelia's words when she'd informed him fourteen years before that she was leaving the state, and taking the newborn baby with her, _'We can talk about it if you want, but from a legal perspective, given her age, there's really nothing to say. I think we both know that.'_

Trying to clear his head, he went back inside, sliding into the booth across from Claire, where she'd gotten half way through what amounted to a large pile of carbohydrates and sugar, and started fixing himself one more cup of coffee. 

"Is she angry?" Claire asked quietly. 

Cas set down his spoon on the napkin next to his cup, "Answering machine got it... But, addiction is a disease, Claire. If she's angry right now, that's not important, it's a symptom. If she gets clean, and wants contact with you later on when she's well, you'd hardly be to blame for wanting to live in a safer environment, and she'll accept it." 

Claire seemed somewhat shaky, and looked as tired as he felt. Through their chats and occasional calls, he knew a bit about her, the subjects she hated in school, her distaste for the color pink, and how her cat had died a year before, but it was nothing compared to sitting across a table from her and hearing her voice in person. Seeing the dark circles under her eyes, and the worry that kept her quiet. 

"It's going to be okay, Claire... You did exactly what you should have done. None of this is your fault." 

* * *

  
**  
Now  
**

* * *

Ben scanned the cafeteria and found Millie sitting by herself. Passing on the chance to sit with Jack, who he was still displeased with, and Xander, who he'd see later anyway now that they lived in the same home, he picked his way to her table, "Hey."

"Hey." Millie replied, "Where were you yesterday?" 

Ben smirked, "Got suspended for wailing on Jack." 

"You didn't break his arm with a chair?" 

"No... Not yet." Ben chuckled, "Sorry you didn't go to Whit's party, it was actually fun. We tried to start a fire in the back yard, but then his dad came out, and then it turns out he had permission and just didn't tell anybody, and his dad has this blow torch, he used it to start the fire." 

"Yeah, I didn't know we were going out of town when I sent you that. I'm sorry." Millie said, "Sounds like it was awesome." 

"So, um... The Valentine's dance is coming up, and, um..." Ben was grateful he'd gotten that much out, because his nerve was caving quickly. He tried to focus, to keep calm, and reminded himself what Cas had said, 'be kind... be direct.' Of course that was more about getting Millie to leave him alone, but, it could work for this too, he hoped. It sounded like good advice. 

"Kind of early to be asking me as a backup plan." Millie said with a laugh. 

Ben shook his head as the words tumbled out of their own accord, "You aren't a backup plan, I wasn't going to ask anybody else." 

_'Oh, crap... If she doesn't say yes, I'm the world's biggest moron, and she's staring at me.'_ Ben thought. "I mean, I was going to ask you first, and if you said no, then I was going to ask somebody else. Or maybe just go stag. But I was hoping you'd want to go with me." 

"Like, as friends?" 

"No... Unless you want to go as friends. I'm sorry, don't really know, uh-" 

"You're asking me out? Like a date?" 

"No... Yeah, well, I mean, for the dance-" 

"Right." 

"-Or, I don't know... Yeah? I mean, like, if we go, and then, um, if you-" 

"Ben?" 

"What?" Ben asked, frightened he'd somehow messed up something in the conversation. 

"Yes, I'll go to the dance with you." Millie said with a smile. 

"Oh... Great, yeah. Um, thanks..." Ben suddenly panicked at his lack of an exit plan, "Um, I gotta go tell Xander something, I gotta just, um..." 

"Okay. See you later." Millie replied, seemingly catching on and attempting to ease his discomfort as he picked up his tray and hurried away from the table, with no real destination in mind. 

* * *

Julie was starting to feel a little more human after a long hot shower, certainly more awake than the past couple of days. The house was so quiet...

She quickly changed into a fresh pair of pajamas and struggled to the kitchen for another drink, spotting Ivan at the table with his phone, "Hey... feeling any better yet?" 

"Yeah... I think the fever's mostly gone." Julie said quietly, sitting down with a large bottle of the cold, blue liquid, "So, if you wanted to try that conversation again..." 

Ivan shrugged, "It can wait, I mean, I don't mind taking lots of time on this, it's a big deal... Just, a few weeks back, that night I stayed late at the shop, well... I wasn't actually at the shop..." 

Julie tensed noticeably. 

"I talk to Alfie sometimes, and he said this..." he opened his hand over the table and gestured in a circle, indicating himself, Julie, Cyndi, and their home, "...This whole thing... Well, maybe Cas could help me think it through. So I went over to talk to him about it, and we wound up out on his back porch just talking through it for about three hours." 

"Did it help?" Julie asked, relaxing as she took a drink. 

"Yeah... a lot... And of course, stuff is different, but, there's a lot that's the same. He said I needed to be absolutely certain, and that if I was gonna do this, um... I would have to make it really clear to you from the start, from right now, if, y'know, if this doesn't last with us, if I was going to want to step away, or if I...um... If I was going to want to stay a part of her life, no matter how bad things could get with us... And he's had it pretty bad, I mean, his ex, Claire's mom... She just... She's a horrible person. But, even with that little bit of contact they had, it gave Claire a way out." 

"So, you want to be involved in case I turn into a horrible person?" Julie asked, not sure she understood. 

"That didn't come out right... No, look, all that horrible crap you hear on the news, most of the time, a kid gets hurt, goes missing, turns up dead, half the time it's 'mom's boyfriend,' right?... Nobody plans for that. My mom didn't plan to date scumbags, but it happens... and just, what harm is it gonna do, if later on, things don't work, I still get to see her sometimes?" 

Julie shrugged, "It could put extra stress on future relationships, for both of us." 

Ivan shook his head, "Anybody that has a problem with a little girl seeing her dad, that person is a problem... I wouldn't care if you had her going to see her dad now, if she had one." 

"You don't think I can do this on my own?" 

"I think on your own, you would be okay. But I also know it would suck. It's lonely, and it's hard, and it sucks. For the mom and for the kid... Julie, I love you. And I love Cyndi, too, and this is a big deal, yeah, but, I really want to do this." Ivan said, reaching for her hand. 

Julie gave his fingers a squeeze, "I just keep worrying we're going to hold you back. You're going back to Austin to record next week, then what? You said they might have work on some bigger stuff for you. How's that going to work with a family at home?" 

Ivan shrugged, "We figure it out. Video chats every night. I can record Cyndi's song on professional equipment while I'm there and put it on an iPod for her. And then, when I get home, I get you both in a big hug and never let go." 

Julie chuckled and looked down at the table, "You know, um... It used to be whenever I took a pregnancy test, I would freak out. Like, full-on ugly-cry. And, um, then it would come out negative, and I would just get completely wasted. Like trying to black out." 

"Where were you getting the alcohol?" Ivan asked, considering her age. 

"Well, I was still living with my mother." 

"Oh." 

"Anyway, just... This was different. And I don't know what I said to you, but, I wasn't scared you were going to beat me up." 

Ivan looked uncomfortable, "Kind of a low bar to set." 

"I mean," Julie tried to correct herself, "Nobody has ever treated me as good as you do. And I know you'd be a good dad, I just don't know if it's the right thing to do." 

Ivan nodded, "Okay, so... We think about it for a while?" 

"Yeah." Julie replied, nodding back, "Yeah, we can think about it." 

* * *

"She'll know if you're grumpy, babe." Kevin said, passing Margaret the phone.

Margaret rolled her eyes, "I said I would call her, I didn't say I would be happy about it." 

"Okay, then, how about you get topless and I'll give you a nice back rub and try to get you noisy while you're on the phone?" Kevin asked with a sly grin. 

Margaret shook her head and pulled off her shirt, moving to the edge of the bed, "If I get her voice mail, that counts as a damn phone call, right?" 

"If you say it does, it does." Kevin answered, digging out a bottle of lotion from an assortment of items on her dresser, "Not your fault if she doesn't pick up, you're busy. She doesn't have a job, school, and a baby to get ready for." 

Margaret dialed the number, putting the phone to her ear as Kevin climbed onto the bed behind her, unfastening her bra. She slid it down her arms and set it aside as her mother picked up, "Hi, mom... Hey, if you're gonna start that, I'll hang up... Then I'll turn it off, I mean it. Don't try me." 

Kevin tugged her hair to rest over one shoulder, pressing a gentle kiss to her neck. 

"No, I really don't feel like I have anything to apologize for. If I did, I would... Yeah, well, I'm not the one who hurt your feelings... Look, I didn't call to get manipulated, so, if that's all you're going to do..." Margaret shook her head, holding the phone away from her ear for a moment and flipping it off, "Yeah, I'm due next month... I don't know... Of course I'm excited, I'm having a baby... Yeah, I know the gender, but I'm not saying... No! God, mom... Because what are you gonna do, hold a leg and stare at my crotch? I don't think so. Besides, there's this new rule, only Kevin, and my doula or labor coach." 

Kevin was working gently at her shoulders and middle back as she spoke, finding her tense and knotted. He could barely make out her mother's voice on the phone, but he felt certain he knew what was being said. 

"I am not kicking Kevin out of the room!" Margaret snapped, "He's the guy that put the baby in there in the first place... No, I don't care if you were there for your other grandkid's birth, that has nothing to do with me. I'm doing this without you... Fine, I just won't tell you when I'm there. And if - IF- I feel like company, I'll let you know when I'm home from the hospital... No, because if something goes wrong, there's nothing you can do, anyway, that's why I'm having it at the hospital instead of at your house, duh... No, we didn't, and we're not going to. We've decided to be platonic life-partners with benefits." 

Kevin shook with silent laughter as he slipped his hands forward, spreading the lotion over her swollen belly. Margaret leaned back against his chest, and he pressed a kiss to her unoccupied ear. 

"That means we have a relationship, and it's none of your business... You're not making any sense, mom... Sin? You really want to go there?" Margaret turned her head to give Kevin a questioning look. 

Kevin shrugged, "I got two hundred and ninety-eight fewer concubines than King Solomon. And unlike David, I didn't get anybody killed so I could bone you." 

"Yes, he said two hundred and ninety-eight... Yeah, I know it was three hundred... Do you hear yourself? Look, if it's not a sin in the big book for Solomon to have a different chick in his bed every night,- Oh, that pisses you off? It's in there, and I'm not the one who wrote it." 

Margaret pulled the phone away from her ear with a cringe, and hit the button to end the call. 

Kevin brought his hands back up to her ribs, "Well, that went well." 

"Who's the other one?" Margaret asked. 

"Samandriel. I mean, it's a really meager harem, and all, but-" 

"Okay." 

"I mean, I can work on it, y'know, if you're lonely." Margaret stood and turned around, climbing on to his lap as best she could, given her awkward size. Kevin found himself staring at her breasts, "These are definitely my favorite, though." 

"Yeah?" 

"Oh, yeah. Just right. I mean, they're a little awkward right now, but I think they like me." 

"So does the rest of me." Margaret replied, as her phone began to ring. She glanced at the screen, "Eh, nope... Try again next week, bitch." 

"Um, can I ask you something?" 

"Yeah?" 

Kevin gestured to the phone, "You said, um, platonic life-partners with benefits... And when you were talking to your dad, you said you choose me, I choose you back, but, that's not like... That's like you don't... I mean, do you...?" 

"I'm madly in love with you, and I need you with me... But those two deserve to be messed with right now, and it gets the point across. They're only with each other because somebody told them they had to be, I don't think they can really understand the kind of love we've got, and I really think it's a lot stronger because the have-to isn't there. Never was." 

"But you didn't tell them that... You're kind of making me worried that it's so easy for you to say." 

"They treat me like a pet robot with no feelings, Kev. And then, if I try to stand up for myself, I get told I'm heartless? It's about them. They expect to hear that I love you, and they want to try to say that I don't know what love is, so I'm messing with them. It's helps me stay sane." Kevin pulled her closer, holding her snugly despite the large, tight, beachball shaped stomach between them, "I'm sorry, Kev, I didn't mean to make you feel sad... Won't happen again." 

"Thank you." Kevin whispered against her ear, "Babe, I think Mike's trying to rack me." 

"Probably... Less competition." 

* * *

Dean waited downstairs anxiously, as Cas accompanied the social worker around the upstairs, answering questions when asked. The process had been far less difficult than most families would have had it, as Mrs Stansfield had been able to keep conservatorship of Xander, and chose to place him with people she trusted rather than lose custody all together.

"I noticed Xander has the larger bedroom, is there a reason for that?" she asked, coming back downstairs. 

"Yes." Cas answered, right behind her, "It was my daughter's room, Ben took my old office when he moved in, and he'd gotten settled before she moved out. He actually suggested he'd be more comfortable staying put, and as you saw, he likes having the walk-in for his video games. Less glare on the screen." 

"All right... And Mr Winchester," she said, turning to Dean, "What were the circumstances concerning your discharge from the Army? I noticed a mention of mental health issues?" 

Dean tensed, "I don't have any mental health issues, that's just how they used to label discrimination back in the day." 

"Care to go into detail? Because I'll be seeing the records eventually." she replied. 

"Sure, yeah... I'm bi, obviously. I got involved with somebody while I was enlisted, he wanted to get out and go home, and he ruined my life to do it. Now, I've got a section eight, general discharge, no benefits, absolutely nothing to show for the time I spent doing my damnedest to serve our country except a bad back and a good chunk of medical know-how. Now, I might be able to get that section eight off my record later on, but right now, I'm still a little bit bitter about it. You won't find anything else damaging in my military records, because I was doing my best to be an upstanding guy. Anything else you find is going to be from when I was a minor. Anything else you want to know?" 

"Yes, Ben is your son from a previous marriage, and you're legally adopting Mr Novak's daughter, is that correct?" 

"Yeah." 

"And she lives at the house just down the road, so she's your closest neighbor?" 

"Yes, she and her boyfriend are living there now." Cas answered. 

"Is there any chance of her moving back in while Xander is still living here?" 

Dean shook his head as Cas replied, "No, I don't think so. She's very intent on living her own life, as an adult. If she and her boyfriend split up, he would be the one moving out, the whole property is in Dean's name. She does intend to spend time here, though, and the boys walk over there sometimes, but she's very responsible, she's a good influence, as is her boyfriend." 

"And your arrangement with Mrs Stansfield, you're looking into the possibility of turning this arrangement into an open adoption later?" 

"It's on the table, certainly. But of course we want to be sure it's the best course of action for all involved." Cas answered. 

"And Ben, and your daughter? How are they adjusting to Xander being here?" 

"Well, Claire is less affected by it, but I think Ben enjoys having someone his own age around." 

She looked at Dean, clearly expecting a comment. He shrugged, "Hey, if the kids are happy and safe, everyone's good, right? Well, we got the first part down, and hopefully we can keep up with the second part." 

For the first time in her visit, Cas caught a smile on her face as she made a note, "Okay... Yeah, I can tell you two are going to do your best. You have my number in case of any changes, and we'll set up another visit in a month or so to make sure everything is working out." 

Cas saw her out before coming back to the couch. He sat down next to Dean, who was doing his best to be a million miles away, staring at his phone. 

"Dean..." 

"Yep?" 

"If you want to-" 

"Nope." 

"Dean, there's nothing wrong with you. You were very clear, it was discrimination. He recanted." 

"Doesn't matter, just seeing the charges they might decide it's too much risk." 

"No one in their right mind would think you would hurt a child." Cas said softly. 

"If it were me reading that report, making that decision, I'd never chance it... I mean, think about it, doesn't matter what he said later, could look like he was trying to save face. But I got accused of forcing myself on a guy, a big guy, one who knew how to defend himself. If that part's still in the record, they'd be morons to let a kid anywhere near me." 

Cas took Dean's hand in his own, "It's going to be fine... You're a good father, they'll see that. And they'll see how you did everything you could to keep him alive until the ambulance came, that shows a deeper connection than just some random child." 

"I'm worried." 

"Me too." 

* * *

_It had to be summer, it was too warm, even in the middle of the night. It was a moonless night, and the yard lights were off. She wanted to check the generator. It had to be the generator. Had she even meant to leave them on tonight? Maybe Alfie had turned them off, if he wanted to look at the stars. He put them in her eyes, sometimes, with the pictures he created._

_She pulled away from his overly warm body, stepping into a pair of laceless boots she'd started keeping next to the bed for emergencies, and headed downstairs, rubbing her face. Everything was hazy until she opened the front door, and suddenly it was early evening. She'd forgotten all about the generator, and about Alfie upstairs in their bed, sleeping peacefully, sitting down on the chair next to the door._

_"Hand me a beer, will ya?" Bobby asked, setting the rifle down and reaching for a twelve-gauge._

_"Yeah." Claire replied, reaching into the cooler. It was empty, of beer, ice, even the chill was gone from the hard plastic, "Looks like you're out. Sorry. I could check the fridge?"_

_"Which high school was it you said you go to?" Bobby asked, a remnant of a conversation they'd had years before suddenly registering in Claire's memory._

_"There's only one high school, and you volunteered to fill in for the shop teacher." Claire replied softly._

_"That's what I thought. Got a kid working for me, maybe you know him. I'd tell you to go say hi, but I dunno, maybe he's scared of girls." Bobby said with a chuckle, "You're a lucky young lady. Sounds like you and your daddy get on pretty good. A kid gets some quality time with a decent parent, and they'll turn out okay... Most of the time. Part of that is that the kid has to want to turn out good. That's not always easy. Some of 'em fight it."_

_"I try... but she told me I wasn't his." Claire replied, her dream opening her heart more than she'd ever done in actual conversations with him, "I knew if I told him, it would break his heart, and if I didn't, it was going to break me. Maybe it did... Survival, you know?"_

_"You're strong enough, even if you don't feel like you are. Grab me a beer?"_

_Claire opened the cooler again, the warm, vacant inside having slipped her dream-sedated thoughts. She pulled out a small stuffed bear with a red ribbon tied around it's throat, "Where have I seen this before?"_

_Bobby seemed preoccupied with the gun he was cleaning now, and hadn't heard her question. Her mind went back to the night she'd nearly died. She'd had a very similar dream. He'd been about to pass her the gun he'd given her in real life, and instead he'd given her the same small bear. She'd seen it more recently, as well, but in Cas' hand... When?_

_"That boy would let you walk all over him. I hope you're treating him right."_

_"I try to." Claire replied, still staring at the bear, "I love him... Got him out of that house he hates, and I'm making sure he doesn't feel so alone. I think he's going to be a lot happier now."_

_The crib... Cas had been standing by the empty crib in the video, a drunken mess, the bear was in his hand._

_"Thought that might happen... How's my car?"_

_Claire chuckled, "My car, you mean, is great. Too bad you set Alfie up with a piece of junk, sorry excuse for a Chevy..."_

Claire woke slowly, fighting sleep, or fighting wakefulness, she wasn't sure. She hadn't woken up this warm in some time. She also hadn't woken up this alone in a while. 

The sheets on the bed were soft, but Alfie had gotten up some time ago, as far as she could tell. The light coming in through the window hadn't become harsh yet, and she rolled over to look at the door, finding Alfie leaning in the doorway, munching on a microwavable breakfast burrito, "You're dissing my car in your sleep?" 

Claire shrugged sleepily, "Call it like I see it." 

"Fine, I'm getting a Corvette. Happy?" 

"No." Claire scoffed, sitting up, "Then I have nothing to pick on you about... Why are you just standing there?" 

"I turned the heat up so I could watch you kick the sheets off." Alfie replied with a shy smile. 

"What?" 

"Sorry, you're gorgeous, and I'm weak." 

Claire shook her head, "Use a damn space heater, there's no reason to heat up the whole house like it's July!" 

"I'll do that next time... Listen, Crowley's got a layover, he wants to see me, so I'm going to drive out to the airport this afternoon. I don't know what time I'll be home... That's okay, right?" 

"You don't have to ask. I'll leave the dead bolt unlocked, no big deal." Claire replied, getting up and heading for the shower. 

As Alfie heard the water start, he called through the bedroom toward the open bathroom door, "Did you want me in there, or making you a burrito?" 

"Burrito." Claire called in reply. 

"Damn right you can have my burrito." Alfie muttered, heading for the stairs. 

* * *


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Y'all... Okay, um... I have hit some pretty big triggers through this story and the last, but never this one.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING!!! - Murder by drowning. Dark stuff, mentally revisited several times. Descriptive, but also 'off-camera,' so to speak. 
> 
> I don't want to ruin it, but brace yourself. The last thing I want to do is cause anyone harm, so please decide for yourself if you can handle it, it should be easy enough to stop readying if you need to. Be careful.)

* * *

"Wow..." Claire replied, "Yeah, that's a big deal. You sure you don't want to wait and talk about it when Alfie's around?"

Margaret shook her head, "I think Alfie would already have an idea about this, we wanted to talk to you by yourself, so we're not putting any kind of pressure between you guys." 

Claire looked back and forth at Margaret and Kevin, sitting on her couch. She nodded, "Okay, so you're approaching me alone because you know I have issues." 

"Pretty much." Kevin replied, "I mean, not to be mean about it, but, your issues are different from his issues, not that everybody doesn't have their own issues, but, kind of a big deal." 

"But, you're thinking of making it so Alfie would be in charge, and I would just kind of be around?" Claire clarified. 

"Yeah. Takes some of the pressure off you. And if you guys split up, then you wouldn't have to be involved at all. Not that we want that." Margaret answered, "But we also don't want Mike to cause that, that's why we're here, talking about it." 

"I don't know... I mean," Claire shifted in the armchair, "I don't know shit about kids." 

"Right. That's why Ben doesn't come running to you every time he has a problem." Margaret chuckled. 

"He doesn't." 

"Well, yeah, guy-stuff, he tracks down somebody else, but when it matters, you're there. And don't tell me you can't go mama-bear, we all heard about you laying down the law after that thing in the junkyard." 

Kevin nodded, "Yeah, I wouldn't have had the balls to get in Dean's face like that, threaten to shut down his whole business." 

"What?" Claire asked, "How did you guys hear about that?" 

"Ben. It was a long weekend." Margaret replied, "But, we know Mike would be safe with you, even if you don't see that. And both of us dying is a long-shot." 

Claire nodded, "This is still kind of weird, since you want to just put Alfie on the papers, it feels like you're getting my permission to do that." 

"Uh, yeah." Margaret said, "You guys are pretty solid, and we are not about to screw that up. Our second choice would be your dads, but we haven't talked to them yet... Just, if a kid getting added to your future household is a dealbreaker, then as much as we love the idea of Alfie - and you - getting him, no way are we doing that. We can put a thing in there for Alfie to get visits or whatever with a different guardian." 

"No." Claire replied, "No, if you guys think that I can be a part of this without screwing it up, and Alfie gets him if we split, then, yeah, go ahead... Just, maybe have a backup plan for your backup plan, okay? In case I have a mental breakdown or something." 

Kevin shrugged, "You won't. You're gonna be an awesome aunt." 

Claire was about to reply with a sarcastic answer when a knock sounded on the front door. She got up and walked behind the couch, passing the stairs. Opening the front door she found a stranger in casual businesswear with an I.D. on a lanyard, "Yes?" 

"Hi, Claire Novak?" she asked. 

"Yeah. Is everything okay?" 

"It looks that way, yes. I'm from Child Protective Services, we have a case open concerning Xander Stansfield, we're trying to cover all bases as his mother is placing him with your father and his husband. Do you have time to answer a few questions for me?" 

"Um, sure, I guess. Is this going to take a while?" 

"Maybe." she replied, "That depends on how much there is to know." 

Claire sighed, opening the door wider, "Then you'd better come in." 

Closing the door, she led the way back to the living room, "I have some close friends over, but anything you could ask about, they already know, so, feel free to ask whatever." 

"All right." she replied, sitting down as Claire had gestured to the armchair. Claire took a seat on the sofa next to Kevin and waited, "Thank you. You know, it's rare we get to speak with an adult child of the parents looking to foster, it's usually the easiest way to make a determination." 

"But he's already living there." Claire said, a hint of confusion in her voice. 

"Yes, ideally we would have spoken some time ago, but things are a bit off-track, some things are being allowed to slide due to the way things are being handled." The woman took a pen out of her purse, clicking it as she continued, "Let's try to make this short so I can get out of your hair... Were you ever left unsupervised for long periods of time as a child?" 

"Absolutely. But I only started living with my dad when I was fourteen, so I don't think that counts." Claire said nonchalantly. 

"And why did that happen?" 

"The move? Or my mom being a shitty parent?" 

"Why did your father get custody of you at fourteen?" 

"Oh, because I called him and said I didn't want to come home from school and find my mother dead with a needle in her arm one day. Next morning, there he was, she was passed out on the floor, and he told me to grab my stuff and we left. Happily ever after." Claire shrugged. 

"He removed you from the home because you were exposed to drug use?" 

"Yeah, well, I was also being prostituted to support her habit, but it took a couple years before I could get the nerve to tell him about that part." Claire answered. 

The woman looked up in surprise, "Ms Novak, I'm sorry, but, is this a serious answer?" 

Claire nearly flinched and her eyes grew dark, at the same time Kevin reached to put an arm around her, "Dead serious. It was hell." 

"I am so sorry. I honestly wasn't sure. I apologize." she made a note quickly, and looked up again, "Has there ever been any sort of misconduct between either of your fathers and you, or Ben, or any other child that you're aware of? Even inappropriate discussions?" 

Kevin chuckled before he could stop himself, making Claire fix him with a stern look, "How the hell is that funny?" 

"Sorry! Sorry, just, um, I, uh, I kind of cornered Dean with some questions a couple years ago, and he was just, so uncomfortable. Got some really good advice though." Kevin replied, attempting to straighten his face. 

"What sort of advice?" the woman asked. 

"Um, age-appropriate advice, lots of euphemisms. See, um, basically the question was how to make sure you've got consent before you do anything, and he was really clear about it, anything that's not a yes is a no. Hell, every teenage boy should hear that." Kevin shrugged, "Let's face it, there's such a thing as a totally appropriate conversation about sex between a teen and a parent. I just didn't have a father to ask, and well, y'know, 'trusted adult.'" 

"So, you're telling me that as an underage teen, you approached Dean with questions about sex, and that was an appropriate conversation?" she asked. 

"Wow, way to make this so much more comfortable." Claire muttered. 

"Okay, look at it this way," Kevin started, making Claire roll her eyes, "Sixteen year old boy, you want him learning about consent from a guy who was in a long term marriage with a woman that only ended because she died, or asking some asshole jock on the high school football team? Because the prevalence of rape culture in our society is-" 

"Kevin, she gets it." Claire cut him off, "I think you can shut up now." 

"I'm just saying, I have a son on the way, the crap I know he's going to hear elsewhere worries me, and when he starts asking questions, I hope I give him the same kind of advice, so he'll be respectful to whoever he winds up with, okay? That's all. Or he could ask Dean, I'd be totally fine with that. Not sure Dean would be comfortable with it, but still..." 

"Right..." she said, making a note, before lifting her head with a dismissive nod, "Ms Novak, I understand if this is a sore subject-" 

"Look," Claire cut her off, "Here's all you really need to know, I was a complete and total mess, and the only reason that I'm kind of, sort of okay now, is because my dad got me the hell out of there and gave me a safe, loving home. And then Dean came along and when that whole mess came out, he told me I was going to be okay, and he supported my dad through the whole thing and told him to get me into counseling. He also got me started as a mechanic, in a safe workplace, and that really helped me cope. It gave me something else to focus on while I was working through it. I love my dads, they're great parents, and what you're trying to ask about, they would never do that. Not even inappropriate comments, or shady looks, or whatever. And Kevin's right, there's appropriate conversations, and I, um... I had a few really appropriate conversations with my dad, especially during counseling. But I can tell you from personal experience, the boys are safe with them, and if anything bad happened to Ben or Xander, they would know how to help them get through it better than anybody else." 

Kevin squeezed her shoulders as the woman nodded, and wrote something down as Claire spoke. 

"Okay... And if, hypothetically, there was an emergency, both of them unavailable, what would be the arrangement for keeping the boys overnight? Or would someone else handle it?" she asked. 

"I'd probably go crash on the couch over there." Claire replied, "Or my boyfriend, if I couldn't, or maybe my dad's friend, Charlie, she stayed with me when he had to go out of town a couple times." 

"Ms Novak, I'm very sorry if I've made you uncomfortable today, but I want to thank you for your time, and for being so open about this. I think I've got enough information to make a decision." the woman said gently as she stood. 

Claire followed her to the door, "So, that's it, then?" 

"Yes, this has been extremely enlightening." she replied as Claire opened the door. 

"Look, what happened to me, that's not my dad's fault, okay? You shouldn't take Xander out of there just because I went through a ton of crap before I even really met either of them." Claire said quickly, concern crossing her face. 

"Oh, no. That's not what I meant. Xander can stay. Just, officially, I have to write it all up, that's all." 

Claire stood glued to the same spot until the woman had gotten back in her car and closed the door. She hadn't heard Kevin get up from the couch, but as she closed the front door and turned around, he gave her a sympathetic look. 

"So... that's good news, right?" 

Claire shook her head as she slowly approached the living room, her voice weary, "God, I am just so tired of talking about it..." 

Kevin took hold of her arm the moment she was close enough, and pulled her along in front of the couch once again, dropping onto it and pulling Claire onto his lap.

Margaret scooted closer to lean on his shoulder, and reached for Claire's hand, "So... You're getting a new brother. Yay for that... Maybe we should make a cake." 

"You just want cake because Mike wants cake." Claire said quietly. 

"You like cake, too." Margaret replied. 

"Yeah... I'd totally eat cake." Claire answered. 

"I can run to the store if we need cookie dough ice cream, handle this properly." Kevin offered. 

"No," Margaret pretended to whine, "What are we going to do without a pillow?" 

* * *

After waiting through a delayed arrival, Alfie finally managed to catch up with Crowley in the cafe of the hotel attached to the airport. Crowley welcomed him with a brief, tense hug, and a smile before they sat down at a table. The rest of the place was nearly empty.

"So, kind of a weird spot to change planes." Alfie said quietly. 

Crowley nodded, "Yes, well, we have some family affairs to discuss." 

"What do you mean?" 

"Does the name 'Bartlett' mean anything to you?" Crowley asked. 

Alfie's blood ran cold. He'd heard it once or twice, between sobs in the middle of the night, and only once in one horrible conversation the following morning. "Should it?" 

Crowley leaned comfortably in his chair, "Your lovely Claire and I had a short discussion during my last visit." 

His heart sank. All Claire wanted was peace, that was why she'd declined to try to prosecute her attacker. He would bend over backward to give her that peace, to keep her comfortable, and help her continue to move on, "Okay... So you know what happened to her. That's ancient history." 

"She told me enough... It wasn't hard to check a few public records, find the only address she'd been living at from age nine to age fourteen, immediately followed by a move out here. Records indicated the owner was the only one managing the property at that time. I just wanted to be absolutely certain we were talking about the same person." 

Alfie nodded, "Yeah... she told me one time, his name was Bartlett. But she let all that go, she doesn't want to have to go through a court battle over something this hard that she has no way to prove. She's been through enough." 

Crowley nodded, pulling out his phone, "Of course. Dreadful business, horrible ordeal for any victim... She deserves better." 

Alfie looked at the phone curiously as Crowley sent a quick text, which looked to be two words, "Yeah... I hope you're not going to bring this up with her unless she mentions it." 

"You have such a pure heart, Samandriel. I'm sure you're a comfort to her." Crowley replied, putting his phone away, "I don't, though. You see, I have been around long enough, that I have a very different idea of justice and karma. Now, I'm not going to ask you for anything more than your silence." 

"What?" Alfie asked, "About what?" 

"Someone won a free trip to Guam recently. Round trip ticket, expenses paid, all the niceties... Unfortunately, he ran into some trouble while he was there... Also, an associate of mine, one of those overly friendly types who aren't afraid of prison, for the right price, well... he's just had a mishap on his boat and lost an anchor over the Challenger Deep in the Mariana Trench. Bad luck, I'm sure..." 

"Are you serious?" Alfie whispered in horror. 

"Sinking to the bottom as we speak. I'm sure the two are entirely unrelated." Crowley replied, "Pity about that unused return ticket. It was first class." 

"Uncle Crowley," Alfie started, unaware his hands were shaking, "You're messing with me, right? This is some kind of sick joke?" 

"Samandriel, you need to ease up, before you develop an ulcer. This isn't the first time I've used a back alley approach to vindictive purposes, and I'm sure it's far from the last. All I needed from you was to make sure I had the right person." 

Alfie's eyes were wide, "Oh my god... That was the text, wasn't it?" 

Crowley shrugged, "I'm not sure what you mean." 

"If I hadn't said anything?" 

Crowley shrugged again. 

"Crowley...?" 

"You can do a lot of good in the world, my boy, if you aren't afraid to get your hands dirty. You've been sequestered in this corner of nowhere for far too long. Stay there if you must, but do try to remember, you have the means to change the world... Or end it, as far as some people are concerned." Crowley answered, "Really, though, you should have come to me first." 

Alfie didn't answer, shifting anxiously in his chair, trying to figure out how his uncle could be so incredibly calm and unfeeling. He set an elbow on the edge of the table, and ran a hand over his face, his voice a whisper, "Why?" 

"Because he deserved it. Unless you'd like to tell me he didn't? That Claire, and any other targets he may have had, future victims, possibly, are better off with that bescumbered vermin walking the earth?" 

"You can't ju-" Alfie swallowed hard, and shook his head. 

"Did." Crowley replied, casually picking up a menu from the corner of the table. 

* * *

"Woah. So I guess me and Jack have to get dates, too, or we'll look like a couple instead of like a group of single guys." Xander said from his spot on the living room floor.

"Yeah. Who are you gonna ask?" Ben asked. 

"Nina. Jack swiped my favorite hat, but he's a wimp, he won't ask her first." 

Ben snorted, "You're gonna go after his crush? Not cool." 

"Oh, yeah, I've got a line all ready and everything, I'm gonna go up to her and say, 'Hey, baby, you want to go out with a guy that actually has a brain injury, or just one that acts like they do?'" 

Ben burst with laughter, "Awesome. Make her feel sorry for you and put down everyone else at the same time." 

"Girls are all about feelings, sad, mad, pity. Use it." Xander chuckled. 

Cas' chair creaked in the next room as he stood, passing through the living room to get to the kitchen, "Rather manipulative. Wouldn't you rather get a date for the dance without coming off as a charity case?" 

"What? No." Xander replied, "This is my 'in' with the babes." 

Ben was still laughing as he heard the over door and a stirring on the stove. Cas came through again, "Well, if it were me, I'd rather be the guy who has a date in spite of a disability rather than because of it." 

"Yeah, but, he does have an unfair disadvantage," Ben replied, "I mean, look at his face." 

Xander slugged Ben in the leg as he started to laugh, "Could be worse, I could look like you." 

"But, seriously? You're just going after Nina like that? You're not going to try for somebody who's not spoken for?" Ben asked. 

"She's not spoken for, because he's never gonna speak up." 

"Not if you kill his chance to do it. C'mon, who else could you ask?" Ben asked. 

Xander shrugged, "Carrie Appleton." 

"Really?" Ben asked, his tone dropping. 

"Yeah. For Jack." he smirked 

"That's just mean." 

"Yeah, to both of them." Xander replied, "On the other hand, if I get that hat back, maybe I could get Tina and Damaris to go with me and Jack as a group, then nobody has to lose out." 

"Yeah, call him." 

* * *

Alfie didn't remember much of the drive back to town, but at one point he veered off into the maze of twisting county roads he'd spent many a lonely afternoon on. Eventually making his way out of it, he only made it into the drive at the repair shop by force of habit, and parked, as he used to, behind the building next to the bike he'd wrecked years before.

He had no idea what time it was, how long he'd been circling the back roads, or how fast or slow he'd been going. 

Today, he'd gotten someone killed. Not a fast death, either. Someone had been dropped off the side of a vessel of some sort, weighed down so they had no chance to swim, over - he'd looked it up when he'd gotten back to his car, still shaking too much to drive - the deepest part of any ocean worldwide. 

One text. Two words. What had the kill signal been? What did Crowley say? How did they have signal in the middle of the ocean? Or were they operating through a contact by radio? Was it 'do it?' 'Kill him?' 'It's him?' 'End it?' 

Not that he didn't wish the man a slow, torturous death, but how could Crowley be sure he had the right Bartlett? And torturous... Was Crowley the type to- yes... If he could this easily have a man killed by drowning, there was no doubt he could have had the man tortured. Brutally, even. He briefly wondered if Crowley would even have had the man raped, before he banished the though from his mind. 

Alfie found himself standing on the front steps, staring down at the porch where he'd waited, holding Bobby's lifeless hand just a few years ago. Maybe Bobby would have done similar, given the means. 

Suffering a deep confliction, lost in his thoughts, and also in the blank spaces of his mind, he heard a few small sounds inside the house and noticed the kitchen light was on. 

As he unlocked the front door, he considered whether he deserved to live, having been the cause of someone sinking into a deep, crushing blackness, never to be found with no closure for anyone he may have left behind, water pressure forcing the air from his lungs, and then filling every bit of his airways as he struggled against whatever ties had him bound. He'd have to have been dead long before he was half way down. 

He closed the door and locked it, rounding the corner into the kitchen slowly, his thoughts plaguing him. There was no way to explain the events of the day. Not to her. There were no excuses. He'd unwittingly caused a man to be killed. The only other man ever to touch her. There was no way to justify any of it. 

She stood by the sink, a prepackaged cup of chocolate pudding in one hand, spoon in the other, wearing one of his tshirts that barely passed her hips. 

"You gonna stand there and stare at me, or come get a bite?" Claire asked with a sly hint of a smile. 

She was toying with him gently, he knew the pattern well. He'd cross the floor, accept the bite of pudding, kiss her softly and hold her while she scraped out was left before heading upstairs, but not tonight. Tonight he was sure he didn't deserve to live. 

"What part of you did you want me to bite?" he asked softly. 

Her expression switched fast, from flirty to lustful. It wasn't terribly obvious, but he'd spent the better part of the last two and a half years studying her every mood, wants, dreams, quirks, habits. Anything that made Claire who she was, he immersed himself. He could make her happy. She deserved to be happy. He didn't deserve life. But did one outweigh the other? 

He knew better than to move too quickly as he crossed the floor, wrapping around her gently, kissing her neck as she tried to set the cup of pudding down on the counter, only succeeding in knocking it into the sink. He felt her hand on his belt and gently knocked it away, pulling her close, his hands wandering her back and sides. He dropped one hand to the skin on the outside of her thigh, tracing upward over her hip, confirming his suspicion the shirt was all she wore. He tried to keep contact between his lips and her neck, but she'd managed to get hold of his earlobe, and his resolve to stay focused on her was starting to cave. 

It wasn't difficult to remind himself, however, with the thought that the man's corpse strapped to the anchor could still be sinking through pitch black water, even though it had been hours. With that, the spice was gone, Claire was still in front of him, turned on and trying to be patient, but his own needs were easily thrown aside. 

"I want to try again." he whispered. 

"Try what?... Oh." 

He nudged her gently back toward the sink, "Do you trust me?" 

"Of course I trust you." she replied. 

He took hold of her hips and lifted her the few inches onto the narrow edge of counter, guiding her knees to his hips as he moved closer, one of his hands running up her skin inside the shirt as he continued to kiss her softly. 

"I love you... Focus on something else, or close your eyes, maybe. I just want you to feel it." he said quietly, paying attention to how her breathing had changed. 

She settled an elbow on the window sill behind her as she leaned back, trying to find a comfortable way to brace herself without falling backward into the sink. She nodded, "Okay... Yeah, I'll try." 

He wanted to express to her how incredible it felt when she'd do it to him, but she had a habit of tossing him onto his back and getting his jeans open in a moment's notice. The same actions that would leave him helpless and needy in the best way would only startle and frighten her. 

Alfie kept his hands on her firmly, letting her grow to expect his slow movements as he made his way to her thigh, kissing her, shifting the shirt out of the way and deliberately traveling over her skin slowly. He ducked his head, mouthing her flesh softly, digging in deeper with his tongue, exploring her folds. She shivered, and her breath had intensified, but nothing pleased him quite as much as when she gave an involuntary whimper of his name. 

Finding himself capable of a slow, measured pace, he pulled away, not waiting for her to ask him to, hoping a few pauses would help her get used to it and accept it easier, "Can I tell you a secret?" 

Claire nodded, confused, and reaching for him. 

"That time I fell in the hot tub, kissing you sideways... This is why. Just thinking about it, instantly hard." 

"Serious?" 

"Yeah... Why'd you think I didn't want to get out?" Alfie asked with a shy smile as she pulled him close for a deep kiss, one of her hands catching the back of his neck, the other sliding down his shoulder to his chest, "So, are you okay to keep going like this for a bit?" 

"We don't have to." 

"I want to." Alfie replied, kissing her, pressing her back a bit to lean on the window sill again. 

Claire gasped as he resumed his efforts, muttering a few murmurs of appreciation before she started halfheartedly tugging him away, "Alfie?... That's-oh god!... Alfie... please... I need you..." 

He knew what she meant, what she wanted, but her phrasing, and the strain in her voice only served to spur his efforts. He listened closely for any hint she gave to stop, but unlike her orgasm, it never came. 

She had been stroking his hair back from his face, but unintentionally gripped it roughly as she gave a high toned growl that turned into a desperate panting as she shook. Even as she began to wind down, he didn't stop until she pushed him back by the shoulder, pulling him close into an embrace that soon turned into her leaning on him heavily. 

"Why are you still wearing clothes?" she asked, tugging at his shirt, "I don't want to stop yet." 

"You want to keep going? Right here?" 

"Here's not important, just now, like, right now." she replied, her voice breathy and urgent. 

"Yeah, of course, um... Like, scale of one to ten, how comfortable are you right now?" Alfie asked softly. 

"A lot." Claire mumbled against his lips. It had to be true, because usually she'd answer with a number. 

"Okay. That's good... Really good..." Alfie replied, pausing to kiss her several times as he pulled her down from the counter, "One more thing I want to try, okay?" 

He guided her to turn around, pulling her loose hair over her shoulder, kissing her neck softly. 

"Alfie?" she asked with a hint of anxiety within her mostly pliable haze. 

"Shh... It's still me... stay with me, let me hold you." he said gently. He continued to speak softly as he nudged her into an easier position to lean on the counter as he dropped a hand to stroke over her lips. He remembered the feeling of her arm tight around his ribs, a handful of his hair pulling his head back, forcing him to the bed years before when he'd asked her to explain what she'd been through, bending his leg up against his chest as that bastard had done to her, and the tears and sobs that shook her when she could keep explaining. 

With his free hand he'd unfastened his belt and jeans, freeing himself, still speaking reassuring words by her shoulder. She took solace in his voice and his touch in the worst of times, and it was quickly becoming the easiest way for her to ground herself, and stay focused on who was with her, even if he was standing behind her. 

Alfie knew he was taking a chance, but he couldn't imagine she'd be this comfortable, or he'd be this preoccupied again, not ever. "I've got you..." 

Claire's breathing had changed again as he'd leaned in, guiding himself with one hand, keeping his chest against her back, feeling his way across her slick flesh until he'd found her opening, the tip easily slipping inside. 

"How's that feel?" he asked. He hadn't meant to enter her just yet, that had been an accident, but given her usual reaction to anyone standing too close behind her, he wasn't about to proceed any further without some sign that she wanted it. 

She rocked back against him with a shaky breath, and a nod, "Ohh... more like that..." 

With small, careful motions he slowly worked his way in, still staying as close as he could to her ear, "You're so beautiful." 

Deciding his slow, deliberate pace of sliding in and out as clutched the counter tight enough to make her knuckles go white wasn't to her liking, she tried to shift against him, "Alfie... faster." 

"Are you sure?" he asked, slowing down a little to tease her, "I love this... you feel incredible." 

"Alfie, please." she whimpered. 

Never one to deny her, he resumed his original pace, making her moan deeply, which in turn only made him want to hear it again. He slid into her deeply, pressing one palm to the front of her hips, holding himself inside her firmly as out of habit she tried to move, and her voice became more audible. 

Just as he was about to move again, one of her hands came back over her shoulder, grabbing his shirt tightly, "I can't!" 

Alfie froze, and started to slide out of her slowly, "Okay, it's okay... What do you-?" 

The moment he left her she spun around and pressed him to the floor, kissing him deeply, still wrapped up in her sex-drugged state. She was on top of him before he really caught what was happening. 

Alfie groaned quietly as Claire sank back onto him, trying to get his shirt open with shaking hands, "Yeah, okay... That works too." 

"I just need you so bad right now." Claire mumbled against his neck as she started to move at a rough, fast tempo. 

Alfie quickly had his shirt open for her as she kept moving, and her hands went right for his chest as she moaned deeply, "That's why I'm here... anything you need." 

He tugged the tshirt up, off, over her head before pulling her close to kiss her, even as it slowed her down. He wasn't certain if the sounds that came from her were of pleasure or complaint, and guessed it could have been either. Alfie raised his knees behind her and held her tight to his chest as he lifted his hips to thrust into her, hard. 

Claire's nails dug into his shoulder over the fabric of his shirt as her other hand tangled in his hair, her moans now unmistakable. As much as he wanted to slow down and feel her body squeeze him tightly, he kept going as her voice broke into a tense, quieted scream. 

He slowed to a gentle pace after she collapsed over his chest, her long blonde locks falling over his shoulder, breathing hard, shaking slightly, and giving the occasional hum as she felt each delicate motion. She let go of his hair and slipped her hand down to the side of his neck, speaking softly in a roughened voice, "I just need a minute." 

Alfie shook his head, still moving gently, little more than a soft, rocking motion, "You have that look like you're done. Already kind of pushed the envelope tonight." 

"Yeah, but you-" 

Alfie cut her off with a kiss, stilling his hips, but resting inside her, as she lay her head back down on his shoulder, "Claire, I have to tell you something." 

"Okay." she replied, her previous exertion evident in her voice. 

"I really think it would kill me to lose you... So... I don't know how much I can trust myself... I mean, I would lie, cheat, and steal to keep you, so, pssh... Morals... right out the window. As far as you're concerned, anyway." 

She chuckled, her warm fingertips tracing their way slowly to his chest, "That's a load of crap... My girlfriend is a loving, caring, and good-hearted person... I'm the bad influence, remember?" 

Alfie craned his neck to look her in the eyes, "I'm serious. I would do horrible things for you... It's terrifying, actually." 

"Well, good thing I'd never ask you to, then, huh?" Claire replied, shifting her torso higher, kissing his lower lip with a tiny nip, "I mean, you wouldn't want to be with someone who'd ask you to do that, you wouldn't love me if I was some kind of monster." 

Alfie didn't trust his voice to respond, instead kissing her deeply. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N2: I just want to point out that as much as I love Crowley [Make Hell Great Again! Even when he loses, he wins!] most of Samandriel/Alfie's screen time was spent being tortured, and then Crowley goes and freaking cuts off Kevin's fingers, okay? He's a baaad guy. I really think Mark S. left the show to save the character who kept slowly get more and more goofy, and no longer struck terror into our hearts like he should have...
> 
> So, there you have it, he did evil for the sake of what he thought was good, taking out the trash, however he used Alfie to make it happen, and now Alfie is blaming himself, his one 'family member' has betrayed him, poor baby is a mess. 
> 
> I could not figure out a way to make this work, not during this story, but I know which character[s?] from the show was the unnamed associate[s?]. Not sure if it'll come out during the third story, but it might.)


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Just finished Ch 48, working on 49 now. I think I'll be able to get it finished, if not posted, prior to GISHWEEK! OMG! *SQUEAL!*
> 
> The biggest, and most unbelievable stuff for the third story is getting sorted out, a timeline settled, and that means after GISHWHES, I can just jump right into it. No title yet, but working on it.
> 
> I'm debating doing a bunch of small 'deleted scenes' fics to add as one-shots to the series, things I really think would have happened, but couldn't work into the greater overall story and would have made the stories too long. I'd love some feedback on this idea, if you have any.
> 
> Thanks for reading! FW)

* * *

Cas had been in the middle of a meeting with a parent when his phone chirped, so he hadn't checked it right away. After reading the message twice through to be sure he hadn't misunderstood, he took off immediately for the specialty classroom where Xander was apparently having some sort of break down.

The student teacher was already at the door looking for him, and he could hear Xander's voice, angry, frustrated, and pained, before he was close enough to make out the words. 

"... and my friends only stick around because they feel like they have to," Xander was answering as Cas stepped inside, "So, really, why does it even matter? Just stick me in a stupid loony bin so everybody can get on with their lives!" 

"We're not going to do that." Cas said gently. 

Xander shook his head, ignoring the tears on his cheeks and continuing to yell, "You should. Ben's dog is smarter than me. I can't even remember my middle name!" 

Cas stepped over several items that had clearly been thrown off the table during this fit, and despite having seen her fair share of frustrated students, the teacher was clearly at her wits' end. He pulled Xander into a careful embrace before Xander could argue. 

"Your middle name is Joshua." Cas said quietly, "And I'll remind you when you forget. If you keep hearing it, your mind will form the connection, and eventually it will make sense and you'll remember it when you need to. But you are not crazy." 

"Nothing works." Xander fussed, "Either I'm crazy or the rest of the world is." 

Cas nodded, "Probably the rest of the world, then." 

The overworked teacher, in Cas' sight, but not Xander's, pointed to the door. Cas nodded, having seen the text, and led Xander away. The student teacher passed him a small stack of paper, print outs of exercises Xander should have been working on, most likely. 

Cas had always considered Xander the quietest, most reserved of Ben's friends. Any sort of outburst, even with only Ben and Jack, would have been unusual. He was a people-pleaser, and an excellent student. At least, he had been. 

He couldn't imagine how stressful it had to be for Xander, remembering being able to do things without being able to put together how. 

* * *

Dean had been at the desk and on the phone, on hold for well over an hour, trying to special order a rare manual for a good half hour when Claire came in. He looked up, "You're gonna crawl under that Toyota in office duds?"

She scoffed, "No way. Just got a text from Lucas that either means he took off half his fingers and he's typing by stabbing the screen with the bloody stumps, or we're at all-hands-on-deck... One of the customers blocked my driveway, had to park over here. What's the huge emergency?" 

"Sudden backlog of seven cars and a riding lawnmower. One of them's an electric." 

"The mower?" 

Dean rolled his eyes as Claire chuckled, "Not yet, thank god... Do me a favor, make sure they aren't cutting any corners of goofing off back there before you head out for your boots?" 

"Yeah, sure." Claire answered, making her way to the bays. 

He could hear a few voices down the hallway, but not clearly over the hold music. After a few minutes, the door swung open again, and a woman came in with two children, directing them to sit on the couch as she approached the desk. 

Dean could tell, from the large designer logo on her purse, her short, over-styled and over-processed hair, and the way she carried herself, that she was not here to make his day any easier. He held the phone a little further from his ear, "Hi, how can I help you?" 

"I need an oil change, and maybe some air in the tires." 

"Okay," Dean replied, "We'd be glad to get that done, but we've got a bit of a wait." 

"What are you talking about? We're the only ones here." she asked, looking around the deserted front office. 

Dean nodded, this was going to suck. "Yes, but we had several other customers drop their cars off and leave, so you may be the only ones waiting, but we still have seven in service ahead of you, and only five bays. I'm sorry, but-" 

"This is insane! If you really had that many cars being worked on, you'd have more people in here waiting. You're lying to me." 

"Ma'am, I'm not-" 

"I want a manager in here, now." 

Dean nodded, taking the cordless handset down the hallway with him, "Can I get a manager in here, please?" 

Claire, crouched next to the Jetta Randy was working on, looked up, intrigued as Dean waved at her to follow, before heading back to the desk. 

"Sorry about that, it'll be just a minute." Dean said courteously, sitting down again. 

"Honestly!" the woman muttered, turned to her children, "Pay attention, both of you. If you don't get an education you'll wind up working a menial, degrading job like this." 

Dean instantly thought of Claire's insistence at continuing to work in the shop as regularly as possible, despite the toll school took on her, and how she'd confided in him a year before that she was only going to school to be better capable of running her own shop, or she would've dropped out. Unfortunately, it made him smirk, further vexing the woman. 

"You think this is funny? I'm sure you wouldn't be laughing if my husband were here." 

"I'm not laughing." 

The woman ignored Dean the moment Claire's blazer came into view. 

"What's going on?" Claire asked. 

"Oil change." Dean said, gesturing to the woman in front of the desk. 

"Well," she replied, adjusting her purse strap on her shoulder, "This one's telling me you're somehow busy, even though I'm the only customer here." 

"Every spot in the garage is filled, yes." 

"Then why isn't he back there, working on something?" 

Claire shrugged, "Someone has to work the phones." 

"He's playing solitaire!" 

"I'm on hold." Dean protested gently. 

Claire nodded, "Well, we may not look it, but we are swamped, and if you'd like to come back tomorrow, we can hold a spot for you, or if you want to have a friend come pick you up, I can make sure your car is ready tonight and you can pick it up as soon as we open tomorrow." 

"Are you serious?" 

"We operate as closely as we can to a first-come first-served basis. I can pull a few overtime hours to get this done for you, otherwise, you'll be looking at about two days." Claire replied. 

"Are you kidding me? For an oil change?" she scoffed, "And what about him? You're just going to let him sit there, wasting company time?" 

Claire shook her head gravely, "No, of course not. He'll tied to a post out back and branded... again." 

"What?" the woman choked on the word as Dean hid a chuckle. 

"He... he gets like this, occasionally. It's entirely voluntary, I assure you. But we try to do that after hours, so the screaming doesn't run off customers." Claire said quietly, glancing at the children, "Of course, if you'd like to try calling one of our competitors, they may have less of a load today." 

With a startled expression, the woman found herself at a loss for words, and headed for the door. Dean was surprised at how firm Claire had managed to keep her expression, even as the woman collected her children and left. 

As the door closed behind her, he shook his head, "Branded?... Again?" 

"Okay, the lawn mower on the back of the tow truck is a Craftsman, why is it here? Did they cheap out on the warranty?" 

"Stay away from it, I'm gonna handle that myself." Dean replied. 

"Oh, come on. Lucas has that little chunk missing off the end of his pinky, I wanted to match." Claire whined. 

Dean shook his head, "We're gonna get a chart, I swear, keep track of who has the most mishaps around here." 

"Yeah, do that. Kevin made me watch this thing about... I dunno, it was weird, something about putting energy into the universe and deciding not to have any accidents at work anymore. He said if I say that I don't get hurt at work, it won't happen, and thinking about getting hurt so many times makes it keep happening. So, that's not happening anymore." 

"Yeah, I've heard of that. Hope he's right." Dean said quickly, as he was being taken off hold. 

Claire went back to the bays, double checking everything was fine before slipping home for a few minutes to change. By the time she got back, Dean was still on the phone, and Ivan had finished a repair, getting a bay freed up, only to bring in the next vehicle in the queue. 

* * *

"He said that?" Dean whispered in the darkness.

"That's what she told me." Cas replied, shifting to test that his arms were comfortable enough to sleep in the position they were in. 

"His age... talking about death like that... You sure nobody's picking on him?" Dean asked, a sympathetic pain in his voice. 

"I can't be sure, but it's very possible he could feel that way without being bullied. He has plenty to be depressed about." 

"Shit... I just wanna go wake him up and hug him." 

Cas nodded, "I felt the same way, but at this point it should wait until morning. I already called his doctor, she wants to run another blood panel and check for anything out of the ordinary and try to adjust things like diet, exercise, and hobbies before even considering any medication... In the meantime, we're supposed to monitor his mood carefully, and not leave him alone with anything potentially dangerous. Handguns, running vehicles, ladders to the roof, keep an eye on the number of knives in the kitchen..." 

"God..." Dean breathed, "So, was this the shit the Lyttons couldn't handle, or did all that crap they did bring this on?" 

"Dean, approached with the same information, with the timing, the Lyttons could very well blame us for the way he's feeling now, you can't keep pinning this on them. His life is very hard right now, and he's got to work harder than ever while trying to figure out what he wants his future to look like, this isn't easy for him." 

Cas could practically hear Dean's eyeroll, before he rolled closer to him, "So, what did she say, exactly, that he said?" 

"He said he wished he could drop dead just so it would stop." 

"And 'it?' She's really sure that was the whole intense tutoring stuff?" 

"That is what he's having difficulty with." Cas replied. 

Dean shifted in his arms, "Unless there's something else?... Could be something we don't know about?" 

"That is always a possibility, unfortunately all we can do is ask and listen." Cas answered. 

Dean sighed, "Poor kid keeps getting dragged around, probably just wants to be home with his mom." 

Cas nodded, which Dean felt more than saw in the darkness, "I heard from her today, before his outburst... Her home's been condemned... Too much structural damage, they forced her out. She has to stay with her brother, so she's leaving town." 

"That's not going to help." Dean muttered. 

"Your birthday's coming up next week, we could use a distraction." Cas said softly, "Maybe a daytrip or an amusement park, just something." 

* * *

A loud clang echoed through the shop as the oil pan dropped from the bottom of a Ford Focus and hit the cement loudly.

Dean shook his head as he left his office, going for the filing cabinet next to the front desk. 

Margaret was sitting at a very odd angle, the phone to her ear, one fist grinding against the small of her back, giving a small rocking motion. As he got a better look at her face, it was clear she was quite uncomfortable. 

"Yes, it's ready, you can pick it up any time until closing." she said, speaking into the phone, doing her best to hide her discomfort. She swung the mouthpiece down as Dean opened a drawer, "Can someone stay until seven-thirty? They're desperate." 

"Yeah, I can do that." 

"Yes, we can make that work." Margaret relayed. 

Dean looked over her list, and she pointed to the customer's name, indicating who she was speaking to, "Heck, tell 'em just call the twenty-four hour tow line when they get here, and I'll come back over." 

"Or, you can just call our emergency towing number, and Dean can come back over and handle it when you arrive, he lives a short walk away." 

Dean waited as Margaret finished the call, "You doing okay, there?" 

"Yeah, just, I dunno, kind of cramping, it sucks." 

Dean nodded, "How far along are you, anyhow?" 

"I still have a week and a half to go until my due date. But my sister went a week past, so, I'm betting he'll be late." 

"Yeah, I wouldn't count on that." Dean replied, "So, about week thirty-eight?" 

"Yeah... I shouldn't have helped Kevin put the crib together last night, I probably overdid it." 

"You try walking around a little? Sitting can make it worse." Dean suggested. 

With a shrug, Margaret got up from the chair, leaning heavily on the desk, "Ow-ow-ow... Okay, maybe not." 

"I don't want to overstep, but, um, I mean, I could try something that helped Lisa." 

Margaret turned her head, "Like what?" 

"Well, I don't have a hot pack handy, but," Dean set down the folder he'd pulled out, and approached her back, setting his hands on her waist and digging his thumbs into the small of her back, rubbing in large circles, "Is that helping?" 

Margaret nodded, but he felt her sides tense slightly as she gave a pained hiss, and he looked up at the clock on the wall. 

"So, it comes and goes? How long has it been doing that?" 

"Um... I dunno, started this morning, before I came in." 

"Huh... Okay..." Dean replied, "But it's getting worse?" 

"Yeah... I was going to take something, but, I wasn't sure." Margaret answered, her voice still slightly strained. 

A light step in heavy boots came through the hallway behind him, and he knew immediately who it was, "Claire? C'mere." 

"What?" Claire asked, finding Dean and Margaret between her and the computer. 

"You're off today." Dean replied, "Here, take over." 

"I'm scheduled for today, I just barely got in because I had a class." Claire responded, confused. 

Dean shrugged, "Sorry, you're busy. You two need to go grab an early lunch, something real basic, keep your energy up, you're gonna need it." 

"Why?" Margaret asked as he stepped away, Claire's hands coming to her back to replace his. 

Dean pointed at where Claire was doing her best to copy his motions, "Early labor. They won't let you eat after you get to the hospital, even though that's pretty outdated. Since it started this morning, I'm gonna guess stuff is really going to pick up around five or six, and you'll probably be done sometime tonight or tomorrow." 

"It's not labor, it's my back." Margaret replied in a questioning tone. 

Dean chuckled, "Yeah, that's one way it can start, 'back labor.' But I was watching the clock, and you were doing that 'ow' thing for the last two hours, it's getting closer together, just a matter of time. But go, get some food, pick up anything you'll want from your house, and give Kevin a head's up. Try to stay relaxed, it's gonna take a while." 

"So, you're pretty sure about this? Why not just go straight to the hospital?" Claire asked. 

Dean shrugged, "Whatever she wants to do, but unless she was having trouble walking, she's nowhere near ready. Waiting a bit is fine, lots of women try to labor at home for a few hours before they go in. It doesn't happen all at once like on T.V., most of the time it takes all day." 

Lucas appeared at Dean's elbow, "What takes all day?" 

"Childbirth." Dean replied. 

Lucas chuckled and opened his mouth to speak, but one stern look from Dean made him close it again, "Okay... Um, good luck? I guess? And, uh, congratulations, I'm sure you'll do great." 

Dean gestured toward the garage, and Lucas beat a hasty retreat. 

* * *

Kevin had managed three haircuts and a color treatment, and certainly felt at the top of his game. He'd gotten pictures to show his work, and even Rowena couldn't complain of the quality. Of course, he wasn't certain if that was because it was done properly, or if she just wanted to keep her position as an instructor. The clients ranged from satisfied to thrilled, though, and one said she'd be back the following day with her mother and sister.

One of the other students asked about putting neon green stripes in one side of his hair, and he was certainly considering it. Done well, it would be very appropriate for his chosen field, but on the other hand, if he wanted to get this women's shelter off the ground with Crowley, there was always the possibility that he'd need to meet with someone while looking respectable. He was still on the fence. 

His phone chirped twice in his pocket, thankfully the elderly woman he was working on seemed friendly, "I'm sorry to check my phone like this, but my girlfriend's pregnant, I need to make sure." 

"Oh, that's fine, dear. I do love babies." she replied, "Is she, uh... Well, of a similar, um, ethnicity to you?" 

He could tell she was trying to be polite while unsure of the right words, "No, most of her family is Irish in origin, with a tiny bit of Native American in there. It's gonna tone down my looks a little, but she's really pretty, so, the baby's still going to be devastatingly handsome." 

She smiled, "That's nice. My sister married a man from Mexico, and they got all sorts of nasty looks and comments. Did you chose a name, already?" 

"Yeah, we're naming him Michael." 

"Oh, that's lovely, and so classical. My brother's best friend was called Michael, and he was such a sweetheart." 

Kevin read through both messages, "Oh, man... Okay, looks like she's right at the start of labor." 

"Do you need to leave right now?" she asked. 

"Um, no, she says she's going to let me know when it's getting more difficult, but before she goes in." Kevin replied, "So, looks like I have time to make sure you get your hair all fixed so you can look like a babe for your date tonight." 

"Oh, good." she answered with a smile, "I hope you take lots of pictures, I'd love to see some the next time I come in." 

Kevin chuckled, "Yeah, I'll probably get a shirt made with a collage of his pictures on it. It'll save me some battery life on my phone." 

Rowena was coming past his station, and checked his progress, "How are we today, Miss Helen?" 

"Oh, just wonderful. I can always count on Kevin to get my curls going in the right direction." 

"That's nice... Kevin, why did I see your phone in your hand, just then?" Rowena asked. 

"Oh, my girlfriend is in early labor. But she's due in two weeks, so we knew it was any time. I should be okay to finish the day." 

Rowena scoffed for a moment, then realized as he continued with the scissors that he was serious, "Honestly?... You're dense as a brick wall, you know that? You ought to leave now." 

"I've got time, she said her boss says this is probably going to take all day, since it's her first birth." Kevin explained. 

Rowena's eyebrows went up and she shook her head, "That's even worse. I was in and out of prodromal labor for two bloody weeks, and I was miserable. You pack up your things and go take care of her, ya stupid bampot!" 

"She told me to hold off. Besides, I need the practice to pass exams, so I can provide for her and the kid, so-" 

Rowena pointed to the door, "Out! It's your child she's birthing, you get your arse home and don't come back for two days! One of the most strenuous and glorious events in any woman's life, and you're here, giving haircuts! It's shameful!" 

Kevin was taken aback, not sure how to react, given the nature of her outburst, "But, Miss Helen-" 

"Oh, no, dear, she's right. They don't keep the fathers out anymore, you should certainly be there to keep her comfortable." 

* * *

"Shhhh... You got this, Mags." Kevin said softly. He knelt on the floor in front of her as she sat on a large, somewhat under inflated exercise ball, his hands on her hips as she leaned on his shoulders.

Claire was back a moment later with a large cup of ice water, "Alfie says he's bringing Linda over, but the nurses both want to make sure they know they can get kicked out at a moment's notice before they let them in." 

Margaret nodded, sitting up as the contraction passed, "This sucks... They know we're on complete info lock-down, right?" 

"Yeah, of course." Claire replied, holding the large, odd looking cup out to her. It looked like a cross between a travel mug, a small pitcher, and a flip-top trash can. 

"Wait... Lucas knows. What if he says something online and word gets out?" Margaret asked. 

"Dean knows, so I'm sure he told Lucas to keep his mouth shut. And he'll listen, so, just relax." Claire replied, "And anyway, anybody shows up uninvited, I'll smack them around for you. If I get arrested again, at least I know the sheriff likes me." 

Margaret nodded with a grimace as a new contraction started to well up in the top of her belly, washing downward painfully, "You would, too. You're a really great friend... oh, for the love of shit..." 

"Does it hurt really bad, already?" Kevin asked. 

"No, just faking to see your face." Margaret growled sarcastically, her hand clenching in his shirt. 

"Okay, just, wanted to get an idea what's up. I mean, if it's supposed to take a while." Kevin looked up at Claire, "Did the nurses get the birth plan?" 

"Yeah, one copy at the station, one with her chart, and another on the table in here." Claire replied. 

Kevin nodded, looking back to Margaret as the contraction passed, "Okay, so you're sure you don't want to take the placenta home and plant a tree with it?" 

Margaret narrowed her eyes, "That's gross." 

"Hey, anything you want, just trying to take your mind off it... So... figure sometime in the next twenty-four hours, he's going to be here. How cool is that?" Kevin said quietly. 

"Pretty cool, I guess." she replied with a hint of an anxious waver. 

"And then you'll be able to sleep without getting up every two hours to go to the bathroom, or prop yourself up because of the heartburn." Claire added. 

Margaret chuckled slightly, even as another contraction was beginning, "I won't miss that part." 

A quiet knock sounded at the door and Claire went for it, letting Linda and Alfie in, "Hey... Not much happening right now." 

"Good news," Alfie said quietly, carrying a vase of flowers in behind Linda, "You've got some really tough bouncers out front. Should make things nice and peaceful in here." 

"Right, peaceful while this thing claws it's way out." Margaret mumbled. 

Kevin's brow furrowed, "Are you sure you want to wait on the pain meds?" 

"Shhh!" Margaret hissed, clenching her fist again. 

"Okay, yeah." Kevin replied, keeping quiet, despite the chunk of flesh trapped in her tight hand. 

As the pain eased, Linda spoke quietly, "Don't ask her if she's sure. She spelled it out for you, if she changes her mind, she'll say so." 

Margaret gave a weak laugh, "Yeah, change my mind to a c-section, if it wasn't worse for the baby." 

Kevin shrugged, "Not that much worse... But you know the plan, anything you want to do, you're the one doing all this, you know what you need." 

"I need chocolate!" 

"You're not supposed to-" Kevin started, but he was immediately cut off as Linda reached into her purse and pulled out a few foil wrapped chocolates, passing them to her, "Mom! You're gonna piss off the nurses." 

Linda scoffed, "My sister snuck me a whole grilled cheese sandwich and a bowl of fruit loops, and you turned out fine." 

* * *


	48. Chapter 48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Okay, I am not quite done with Ch49 yet, and I think I'm going to end on 50 again, but don't hold me to that. We'll see.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING! Cas was right, the birth is really rough for Claire, she has a mini-break-down. That could be rough for someone with past trauma to read... But at this point, you're probably okay with it.
> 
> Middle of GISHWEEK! OMG! I luged. There was lube involved. Whatever, I got naked for an item last year, so, not much left to embarrass me with.
> 
>  
> 
> So, this one was difficult, but having stepped back and re-read, I think I showed things taking an appropriate amount of time. More background for this chapter in notes at the bottom.
> 
>  
> 
> I really think some deleted scene one-shots are going to happen, all within the series label, and I may do a few pre-story scenes before I start posting the third, just to give me time to work out the title. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading! Love you guys! FW)

* * *

Claire held tight to Margaret's elbows as she dropped from the edge of the chair into a crouch, wondering if Margaret was even listening to the nurse, or if she was lost in the pain.

It had been hours, but Dean had been right. It was about dinner time for most people, and the general consensus had been to kick Kevin out to get something to eat so he'd be fully focused and available later, when things got more intense. 

As the contraction passed, Claire pulled her back up to sit in front of her, and she continued to speak to the nurse. 

"Yeah, but if I get the epidural, then I have to lay down, and I don't want to lay down, I want to move." Margaret answered. 

"But if you go too far into your labor, then you can't get one at all. And it's easier for us if you're in the bed." 

Margaret glared at her, "You can have it easier for you when you're the one getting your cooch ripped apart by the baby. I'll deliver in the damn shower, if I want to." 

"We need a plan for the epidural, or you're going to be stuck without it. And nobody wants that." the nurse argued, speaking as though she were addressing a petulant child. 

"Some women do want that! Get out!" Margaret snapped. 

The nurse backed away two steps with her hands up and left the room. 

"Um... Is that what you want to do?" Claire asked. 

"No." Margaret fussed, "Maybe... I don't know, I don't want a big fucking needle in my spine, I just want the baby out!" 

Claire nodded, "Well, epidural or not, c-section or not, it's coming out... Now, me, if I ever did this stuff, forget it, c-section. But that's me, you gotta do things your way." 

"Yeah, I just- oh, fuck this- back-back-back-" 

Claire snatched a heating pad from the small couch and pressed it to Margaret's back as Margaret dropped into another crouch,"Do you want to walk some more?" 

"No. I just don't want to lay down. I hate that stupid bed." 

"What's wrong with the bed?" 

"It's stupid! I don't know... How long have they been gone?" 

"Um-" Claire looked up at the clock only to watch the door swing open again, the same irate nurse walking in with a smirk Claire didn't like. 

Behind her, Dean, seemingly far more courteous, closed the door quietly. He was carrying a large gift basket with a few onesies, infant hats, a couple of long sleepers, a stuffed elephant, a variety of restaurant gift cards and some snack foods. A few balloons were tied to the handle, and the entire set-up was gender neutral. 

"Dude?" Claire asked, "So, what? Is everybody showing up, now?" 

Dean shrugged, "Nope, just dropping this off, and the nurse saw my name in your file and wanted me to come in here, said something was wrong?" 

"Well, not exactly _wrong_ but we're having a little bit of trouble about a procedure," the nurse answered, "I thought it was a safe bet if we had dad come tell her to get the epidural and stop all this moving around she'd do it." 

"Dad?" Claire asked. 

"Hey, that makes us sisters." Margaret said quickly as a contraction started to build again. 

Claire kept the hot pack to her back, and this time Dean stepped in front of Margaret, taking her forearms and crouching with her, keeping her supported. 

"Okay, you remember that thing we talked about? Informed consent? They don't get to just do anything they want. They have to explain what they're doing, and you have to say it's okay, or they can't do it. Otherwise my brother's gonna come down here and help you press charges, okay?" 

Margaret nodded, breathing deeply through the pain. 

"Now, if you want that epidural, they got a cut-off time for that, that's why she's pushing it, so you get it before the deadline, if you don't want it, you tell them where to shove it. There's no right way to do this. And as much as I get sick of listening to him talk, Kevin's right on the whole empowerment thing. You're gonna be fine. Hell, if anything, physically speaking, you're at exactly the best age for this." Dean looked up at the nurse, finding one of the most sour expressions he'd ever seen, "So... Did that help?" 

* * *

Kevin kept a quick pace getting back to the Labor and Delivery area of the hospital, only to find Dean in the waiting room. "Hey... Did they call you?"

"Nope. Just dropping off a gift basket, and some pushy nurse thought I was her dad and dragged me back there to say hi. She's not feeling real sure of herself, asked me to stick around, so, I figured this was close enough." Dean replied, looking up from his phone. 

Kevin nodded blankly, approaching the door with a wave at the nurse to be buzzed in, "Okay. Thanks. I'll go see what I can do." 

Linda followed him through as Alfie sat down next to Dean. Kevin hurried down the hallway to Margaret's room, and Linda waited in the hall until he'd waved her in. 

Margaret had moved to kneel on the floor, knees splayed, leaning heavily on the exercise ball, arguing with the nurse that beds were against her religion. Kevin went straight for her, and was about to tell the nurse to stop hassling her, but the door swung open again. This person he recognized, as it was her obstetrician. 

He didn't catch much of the conversation between the doctor and the nurse, only that the nurse was clearly fed up with Margaret, and the doctor suggested a birth stool. 

"I don't even know where we keep them, and we only have two! What if someone else asks?" the nurse was complaining. 

"Someone's asking right now. I suggest you go find one. I had a patient use one last year, it can't have gone far." 

Margaret closed her eyes to breathe through a contraction, and Kevin noticed she'd started to develop a sweat, dampening her hair. A high toned groan quietly sounded from the back of her throat that ended in something like a sob. 

"Margaret, how are you feeling?" the doctor asked. 

"I want to stop." Margaret fussed. 

"Your last check showed you at almost eight, if you want the epidural, you're getting close to running out of time." 

"I don't. I don't want a huge needle in my spine, it's gonna paralyze me." 

The doctor nodded, "Well, I've never had that happen, so the chance that it would happen to you is pretty close to zero." 

"I hate needles. I'm not getting it." Margaret growled. 

"Okay. That's fine. I've got her tracking down a piece of equipment to get you comfortable, help the baby get into position, but when it's time to push, I need you on the bed. Hospital policy. Can you do that for me?" 

Margaret cringed, and Kevin wondered if she was about to cry, "I just want to go home. Can we make it stop, and I can go home?" 

"No, I'm sorry. Babies get it into their heads that it's time, and waiting any longer than that, once labor hits this point, it can cause serious problems. Your body is working with the baby, and that's a really good sign. You gotta trust nature on this one." 

"Nature can choke on a bag of dicks. I wanna go home." 

The doctor nodded her head, "I'm going to be checking on a few more things, but I'll be back in a little while. They'll page me as soon as they think it's time, and in, I'd guess about two hours, tops, this should be in full swing. I know you can do this." 

Margaret nodded, and reached for Kevin's hand as the doctor stood, headed for the door. Linda turned to Claire, who'd gotten up to stretch her legs, "Did you need a break?" 

"No, I'm okay." Claire replied. 

"Claire doesn't take breaks, she gives them." Margaret said. 

"What?" Kevin asked quickly. Linda and Claire both looked just as confused. 

Margaret shrugged, her voice cracking, "I don't even know what that meant, I'm just really tired. This whole thing is freaking me out, and I don't want to do it anymore." 

* * *

"So, this is taking a while." Alfie said quietly.

Dean was sure something was off, but Alfie didn't seem nervous enough to think there was another pregnancy in the works, "Yeah, it happens." 

"So, she forgot to get you taken off the emergency contact thing, huh?" 

"Yeah, guess so. Did those two sort that part out?" 

"I think so." 

Dean nodded, "Yeah, no, I just know what all would have been nice to have when Ben came, brought them a gift basket. He was a big surprise, you know, we went into the hospital thinking we'd be coming home with a Sara. Then Ben shows up, all the stuff we'd gotten was pink, but poor kid was huge, big boy, just over nine pounds, and too big for the hospital shirts they had. And we knew he was going to be big, so we packed some little footie pajamas and sleepers that were the bigger size, not newborn, but like, zero to three months? And they were all pink and purple. But we were right down the road from a larger grocery store, so I went out and got him something to wear. Might have come home in a pink car seat, but he didn't come home in a dress." 

"You keep letting him hang out with Kevin, it'll happen eventually." Alfie replied. 

"Yeah, but that's Ben's choice. Newborns can't fight back. Anyway, not a big deal either way, but something a little bigger than the newborn stuff, frogs and ducks, whatever." Dean said, looking around, "You know the nurse thought I was her dad?" 

"Yeah?" 

"I didn't think I looked old enough to have a twenty year old. I thought I was kind of pushing it with Claire." 

"So you're a bit younger than Cas, then?" 

"Yeah, I got a couple years left before I hit forty." 

"So... If the nurse thought you were Margaret's dad, then that means she thinks you're old enough to-" 

"Shut it." 

"Yeah." Alfie smiled softly, "Sorry." 

"And I better not be, any time soon. She's got school, you got that?" 

"Yeah, I agree, completely." Alfie replied quickly, "But, um, flip-side of stuff, Kevin and Margaret, um, they've been thinking that maybe if something happens, that his mom isn't the best option. I mean, she's great, but she's getting where she needs to worry about herself, set stuff up for retirement, all that... So, for that, they'd want Mike to go to me and Claire. Not the same thing, I know, just, I was wondering-" 

"Hey." Dean cut him off, "Cas and I might make threats, but honestly, whatever kids you two have, however you wind up with them, early, late, adoption, I don't care, that's family. Besides, Margaret already asked if me and Cas would fill in on the- well, that side of things, a little, since he doesn't have a dad, and she's not sure she's keeping the one she's got." 

"Speak of the devil." Alfie commented as the elevator doors slid open a short distance away. He hoped it had been too dark the one time he'd run into Henry Danes in the driveway that night for the man to notice him in public. 

"That's him?" Dean asked quietly. 

Alfie nodded, trying not to give himself away, "Yep, that's Henry." 

"Is he gonna recognize me at all?" 

"I don't think so." Alfie replied. 

"Good. Slow him down, find out how he knew she was here. I don't think anybody's gonna care if you get kicked out of here, just get him kicked out, too." 

Alfie gave a quick nod and got up, putting on an overly enthusiastic smile and heading straight for Henry as Dean waited a moment and checked his phone to look a little less suspicious. 

"Hey, Mr Danes, how's it going? Haven't seen you since you assaulted your daughter on my property." Alfie said with a grin. 

Dean went straight to the counter and held up his phone with the screen off, getting the attention of one nurse working the desk, and the nurse he'd annoyed before who stood behind her, "Hey, um, my little girl just sent me a message, is it okay if I go back in? I want to get back out here before she hits transition." 

The nurse from Margaret's room nodded, and met him at the door as the other nurse buzzed him in. 

"Thanks... Listen, I don't have the same last name as Margaret, and her uncle, well, he's a real piece of work, he just got off the elevator. I think she's got her stuff flagged that she doesn't want to see him, but he's been known to lie to start stuff in the past, and he's been acting weird since he found out about the baby." 

The nurse turned around to address her co-worker, "Keep the door locked until I get back, we'll go check." 

In the lobby, Henry was fuming the moment he was able to place Alfie, "Bozo. Right. You here waiting to see if the baby looks like you?" 

"No, sir. I'm here for my annual mammogram. We could go at the same time." 

"What, then? That asshole ran off on Maggie?" Henry asked, attempting to step around him. 

Alfie blocked his way, "Nope, he's in there supporting her. Huichol ropes and all. The thing I don't get is how you knew she was here." 

After a few more attempts to pass Alfie, Henry grabbed him by the front of the shirt, and bodily moved him out of the way, approaching the desk. He knocked obnoxiously on the glass, "Hey. My daughter's here, I'm really worried about her. Can you let me in?" 

The nurse at the desk frowned, "What's her name?" 

"Maggie Danes." Henry said, pulling out an I.D. and holding it to the glass. 

Upon realizing it wasn't a driver's license, the nurse looked closer before it dawned on her, "Sir! Are you carrying right now?" 

"No, no I'm not." Henry replied, "It's a valid I.D." 

"Do you not have a driver's license? You gotta go straight to a Concealed Handgun License? What is wrong with you?" 

"It is a state issued I.D. showing I've had a stringent background check run by the federal government and cleared it, that's why. Now, I wanna see my daughter. That's my grandchild being born, I have every right to be here!" 

Alfie shrank into a corner to be less conspicuous, but after a few more minutes, he felt sure he knew how this was going to end, and made for the stairs. 

* * *

The nurse knocked quietly, poking her head in, "Dad's back, is that okay?"

Dean recognized the more intense sounds coming from inside the room, but apparently Margaret, or someone, had given the go-ahead, because she stepped aside and let him in. 

"Actually, can I get Kevin for a second?" Dean asked gently. 

"One second, that's it!" Margaret growled. 

Kevin, rubbing her shoulders carefully as she stood, leaning heavily her elbows on the side of the bed, traded places with Claire, who'd been taking a break. Linda sat on the other side of the bed, holding Margaret's hand. Dean didn't hear most of what Linda was saying, but it all sounded very encouraging. 

He hurried over to Dean, where the nurse stood close by, listening in, "Yeah? Kind of busy right now." 

"Yeah, I know, son, you're doing a great job keeping her comfortable, but, um, Henry just showed up in the waiting room. Now, I know she's been talking to her Uncle Henry again, but did she want him here?" 

Kevin caught the inflection on the word uncle, and shook his head, "No, she doesn't want to see Henry, or his wife. He wasn't even supposed to find out." 

Dean nodded, "Alfie's looking into it, find out how he knew. I don't want to tell her, she doesn't need the stress. It's in her file, right?" 

Kevin nodded, turning to the nurse as Dean stepped away to speak to Margaret, "Yeah, she told the hospital not to let in any of the Danes family, but Henry and Carolyn were listed specifically." 

"Hey, kiddo, you holding up okay?" Dean asked. 

"I'm done. I can't. I can't do this." Margaret sounded like she was one the verge of tears, "I wanna lay down, but I don't wanna move." 

The nurse nodded quickly, "Let me get backup and we'll get you comfortable." 

Kevin shook his head, moving to her side, "We got this. Dean, spot me." 

"Hold on, why don't you want to move?" Dean asked quickly. 

Margaret let out a shaky breath and shook her head. Dean nodded, quickly stepping past Linda to stand on the other side of the bed from Margaret, and reached across to help Kevin get her into a supine position without first sitting down, "Okay, Margaret, I think that's all the help I've got for you, the nurse needs to see what's up, but sounds like you're in the homestretch. I'm gonna go hang out in the waiting room, you guys holler at me, let me know what you want to eat when all this is over, I'll run out and get it." 

"Tacos." Margaret said weakly, breathing deeply and squeezing Kevin's hand, 

"You got it." Dean replied, hurrying for the door. 

"You're doing great." Linda said, leaning over Margaret to give her a quick hug, "I'll be close by, but no rush." 

Linda followed Dean through the door, but before the heavy door clicked shut, they both heard the nurse speaking to Margaret, "Woah. Okay, don't push, you're crowning. We'll get your O.B. in here, just hang on." 

* * *

Alfie had gone out to the dark parking lot, predicting correctly that security would soon escort Henry to the main entrance and wait for him to leave. He sat on the trunk of Margaret's Kia, and looked around the parking lot. He had a clear view of Kevin's car, and Linda's cross-over. His Monte Carlo was still sitting at Linda's house.

Henry soon came out through the front doors, steaming. Alfie started recording with his phone, holding perfectly still as though reading something, just in case he was spotted. 

He watched as Henry moved through the parking lot, looking around carefully, and spotting Linda's vehicle, hurried toward it. 

Alfie slid off the trunk and hurried up behind him, using the same quiet steps that he'd had to purposefully unlearn during his time with Claire. 

He was careful to get as clear an image as possible as Henry walked the length of the side of the car. He also got a quick look at Linda's license plate. 

Alfie stayed quiet as Henry ducked down and stuck his obviously empty hand under the bumper, withdrawing a small black box before straightening up and hurrying away. 

Certain he'd gotten most of what he needed, Alfie carefully tucked his phone into his shirt pocket, still recording with the camera lens apparent over the edge of the fabric. He hurried after Henry as Henry made a beeline for his own car. 

"Henry Danes?" Alfie bellowed, "That's you, right? Margaret's father?" 

Henry had turned to look without thinking and Alfie was sure he'd gotten his face, but Henry immediately turned back around, knowing he'd been not just spotted, but identified, and rushed the last few spaces for his car. 

Undeterred, Alfie followed him, "What were you doing to Linda's car, just now? What was that thing? Was it a GPS tracker?... Is that how you knew Margaret was here? Are you stalking her?" 

Henry wheeled around, "I am her father! Her business is my business! Now fuck off!" 

"No wonder she doesn't want you around, if she had an ex-boyfriend doing this kind of stalking, she'd have restraining order! You're sick, you know that?" 

"You don't know shit about anything you little freak! Stay the hell away from my daughter!" Henry yelled. 

Alfie shrugged, as the familiar feeling of an intense, draining, lack of give-a-damn arose in him. He'd thought that feeling was long dead after Linda had cleaned out his father's liquor cabinet, after Bobby had roped him into a job, after he'd woken up in the hospital with Dean asking him if he needed anything, and Cas referring to him as family. With Claire, though, he'd been certain it was gone for good, never to return. But with Henry turning red and beginning to rage in front of him, he felt it. Every bit of it. It was back. He was empty of emotion, and wouldn't mind goading the man into a fight. 

"No." Alfie replied with a chuckle, "No, I'm gonna stick around. You know, she likes to get on the couch right between me and Kevin, and she gets so, um, cuddly, she just-" 

As expected, he found himself cut off with a punch to the face. Alfie staggered back a couple of steps, took his phone out of his pocket, and stopped the video, immediately hitting a command to back it up, "That one's gonna cost you." 

"Get out here while you're still breathing, numb-nuts." Henry answered, getting into his car. 

"Nope." Alfie said with a smirk, dialing a number, "I gotta get back up there and check on your smoking hot little girl, see if she wants me to hold her hand, or the baby. Or anything else she wants me to hold." 

* * *

Dean had settled into a seat and sent Cas a text as Linda looked anxiously out the nearby window.

"So, not going to hang out in there with them? Margaret didn't seem to mind." 

Linda shook her head, "God, no! I had a full audience when I had Kevin, and I'm pretty sure having my mother-in-law staring at me the whole time, and making comments about things I couldn't even see made it a million times worse... No, she's got Kevin, and Claire went to those lamaze classes with her, she'll have an easier time with just them. Well, if Claire's okay." 

"So you know about that, then?" Dean asked softly. 

"I've heard some things. Things that are none of my business. But I think she's sweet to try to help. I know I was scared, I wanted my mom there, but Margaret's family is just... Well, again, none of my business." 

"Her father was here a little while ago. I think he got himself kicked out. I told Alfie to-" 

"That's probably them, then." Linda said, pointing down at the parking lot. 

Dean stood up and looked out the window next to her. On the ground, two law enforcement vehicles had lights running, and three uniformed officers were trying to keep a large man back from where another officer was speaking to someone leaning on a car. They seemed to be looking at a phone. 

Soon, the one Dean assumed had to be Alfie was accompanied back to the main entrance of the building by the single officer, and the other three continued to question Henry. 

Dean shook his head after a few minutes, "So, how's it gonna work if he needs bail?" 

"Samandriel? I'll handle it. He's a good boy, he'll pay me back. Henry, though, he can rot." Linda replied. They stood in silence for several minutes watching the rather minor commotion before the elevator dinged behind them. 

"Hey, mom." 

Linda turned around quickly to find Alfie coming toward her from the open elevator, his face somewhat bloody. 

"Are you serious? You just healed up from that fight at the wedding!" Linda scolded. 

"Ma'am," the officer started, "If I'm understanding this right, your son's girlfriend's father put a tracking device on your car. This neighbor of yours caught him on video taking it off, and then aggravated the guy into assaulting him. Now, I understand things get a little crazy and stressful when somebody's having a baby, but, well, we gotta give you the chance to press charges." 

"He tracked my car?" Linda asked, "Yes, I'll press charges. Hopefully it'll make things easier for his daughter to prove he's harassing her." 

* * *

Everything had been going smoothly, the doctor had returned, and the medical team had seemed to converge out of nowhere. Margaret had been given instructions on how and when to push, and the birth seemed to be progressing quickly.

Kevin hadn't left Margaret's side since she'd gotten on the bed, and he and Claire were both doing everything they could to reassure her. All the while, her protests and insistence that she wouldn't be able to continue were becoming more intense. 

"It's okay, babe," Kevin spoke quietly in her ear, "You're awesome, he'll be out soon, and this part will be over." 

"I'm not doing this again!" Margaret cried out over her contraction, "Never, ever, I swear to god!" 

"You don't have to." Kevin replied, "Whatever you wanna do, that's cool with me, I swear." 

"I can't! I can't do this!" 

One of the nurses stepped closer, and suddenly the obstetrician was having the end of the bed removed, and told a nurse to get Kevin a pair of gloves. 

"Gloves?" Kevin asked. 

"Well, traditionally dad cuts the cord. You don't have to, of course, but if you want to, it's easier to be ready ahead of time." the doctor explained. 

"Um, yeah. Yeah, okay, I can do that. I think." 

Margaret gripped his arm tightly, "If you walk away from me before this is over, I'm gonna put a hook through your balls and kick you out the mother fucking window." 

"He's not going anywhere, he's just putting on gloves." Claire said, rubbing Margaret's shoulder, "Just getting ready because Mike's on his way out." 

Margaret looked like she was going to cry, "I just wanna hold my baby and make this all stop!" 

"Very soon, very, very soon." the doctor said from the rolling stool at the shortened base of the bed. 

The nurses had gotten Margaret's knees up, but as Claire went to hold the one opposite Kevin, she spotted a smear of red on the doctor's gloves. 

Suddenly, everything, at least in Claire's world, was wrong. Margaret had been forced onto to her back on the bed, legs held in place against her will, the tears that had come and gone, and the screaming during a particularly rough contraction... Her logical mind snapped, fighting her subconscious, and out of nowhere, this had nothing to do with birth. All she could see or hear was her friend being tortured, and she was a part of it. 

"Claire?...CLAIRE!" Kevin yelled. 

Claire felt her arm yanked by Margaret, bringing her back to the surface for a moment, and everything came back to a very run-of-the-mill birth in a medical setting. Margaret was giving her a worried look. 

"Claire, if you're not okay, it's only going to get harder to watch." Kevin said firmly. 

Claire nodded, tears flowing down her cheeks as she squeezed Margaret's shoulder again, "I'm sorry. I am so sorry, Margaret, I gotta go, I can't be here." 

Margaret nodded, "I know. You tried really hard." 

Claire wiped at her face and bolted for the door, barely making it a few steps down the hall before the tears gave way to a hard shake. She trudged carefully to the door at the end of the hall, her lungs seemingly refusing to take in air. 

She made it through the door to the waiting room, and stopped, unsure where to go next, but before she had to try to make the decision, Alfie's arms were around her, and Dean had put a hand on her shoulder. 

"Is everybody okay in there?" Dean asked. 

Claire nodded dumbly, and Alfie tugged her over to the line of chairs against the wall. 

"Well, thank goodness for that." Linda muttered. 

* * *

"There we go, Margaret, you're doing great." the doctor said, trying to be encouraging, "How's dad doing?"

Kevin made a dismissive noise, "Not about me." 

The doctor chuckled, "Okay, why don't you come over here with me for a second. You don't want to miss this." 

Kevin squeezed Margaret's hand before stepping around her leg cradled in a support as the doctor had asked him to. 

"Woah." Kevin breathed. He'd been able to see part of the baby's head before, but now he could easily make out the shape of tiny ears. 

The doctor pulled Kevin's gloved hands to the baby's head just as Margaret bore down with another contraction and helped him catch the squirming, wet pile of tiny limbs. 

"Okay, up, and over, and right down on mom's tummy. There you go." she said softly, as a nurse quickly brought a warm towel to cover the newborn, gently wiping his face. 

"Oh my god!" Margaret cooed, through her tears, "He's so tiny... What if he breaks?" 

"What?" Kevin asked, genuinely confused as he stepped back to her side, unsure what to do with his hands more than ever before in his life, now that they were coated in the same bodily products that covered the baby. One of the nurses took pity on him and removed the gloves. 

"If he breaks... What do they do for that?" Margaret asked. 

"Did, um," Kevin looked to the bag of saline next to him, "Did they give you some of the other drugs when I wasn't paying attention?" 

"Not at all, she said she didn't want them." the doctor replied, "But with her hormones and endorphins running, not to mention all the hard work she put in, you can't expect her to make sense right now. Give her ten, twenty minutes." 

"Oh... Yeah, okay." Kevin replied, settling his hand on the baby, who was making tiny, slow movements with his hands as he started a weak cry. 

"What's his name?" asked one of the nurses with a big smile. 

"Michael." Margaret replied, tearing up again as some small sobs threatened to appear, "I just really like the Ninja Turtles." 

Kevin chuckled, "You did it, you're just an absolute rock star... But I think they want to get Mikey clean, and get you all finished up at the same time." 

"Finished with what?" Margaret asked. 

"Um, the rest of it. There's just a little more to come out, remember?" 

Margaret shook her head, "No. No no no, fuck that. If they want anything else out, they can do a c-section." 

"Mags, you got this." 

"No. I can't, I'm done. I want to be done, now. I want to go home and never do this again." 

"It has to come out." 

"No, it can stay. I don't even care." 

"It can't. It has to come out, babe." Kevin stroked her cheek gently, recognizing a look of fear. 

* * *

Linda's phone chimed, and she opened the message to find a picture of Mike.

"Oh my goodness! Look!" she said, showing it around. 

"Okay, well, I promised somebody tacos." Dean said, standing up. He stopped in front of Claire, who's hands were still shaking, "C'mon, you need some air." 

Claire nodded, and after one more encouraging squeeze from Alfie, she got up and followed him. 

After the elevator had left, Linda looked over at Alfie, "Your face is a mess, you know that, right?" 

"My life is a mess." he answered with a shrug. 

"How much of a mess could your life possibly be? You have a job you don't need, a girlfriend who's not some golddigger, and no student loans, mortgages, or bad credit to fix." 

Alfie shook his head, "I think I got a guy killed... So, if there's a hell, then, I'm going... And if Claire ever finds out-" 

"What?" 

"Yeah... Um, my uncle... He came to see me, asked me if I knew this name, he... Somebody hurt Claire, when she was a kid. The whole reason she moved out here with her dad. Her mom let him do it, twice... My uncle found out, tracked the guy down... He didn't tell me that was why he was asking the guy's name... I should have kept my mouth shut." 

Linda didn't ask him to keep his voice down, as his usual quiet voice had become difficult even for her to hear, and she was right next to him, "So, your uncle had a guy whacked?" 

"My uncle had a guy... probably tortured, weighed down, and dropped into the... deepest known point of any ocean... I think he was still alive. Because I said I knew his name." 

Linda nodded, "Okay... You realize that, having told me this, that means we're now both accessories to murder, after the fact, right?" 

Alfie grimaced, "I'm sorry." 

"Look, either you have to go report this right now, explain how badly this shook you up as why you waited to report it, or you have to keep your mouth shut... Now, personally, I think, soul-wise, you're fine, this wasn't your fault, and it's your uncle who's going to hell. Of course, he killed an animal who hurt a little girl twice, and for whatever reason was still walking around, free to hurt other little girls, I think the guy deserves a medal." 

"Yeah, but... What happened to a fair trial? Prison? Even states with the death penalty wouldn't have given him that." 

Linda scoffed, "My only question is why not go after her mom, too, for allowing it?" 

Alfie shook his head, "This is real, okay? And if Claire ever finds out I got a guy killed, even him, I'm gonna lose her. I can't lose her. She's the only thing in my life that matters." 

"Then you're going to keep your mouth shut, and never speak of it again. Never happened. Stay away from your uncle, and move on with your life... I'll keep your secret." 

"I just can't shake the feeling that his death was my fault." 

Linda nodded, "Guilt means you're not a scumbag. It means you're not going to become the guy that has people taken out. It sucks that you're carrying that burden, but you're not the guy who did it, and you're not the guy that paid the guy that did it. This has nothing to do with you." 

A nurse opened the door, looking around, "Linda?" 

"Yes?" 

"Margaret wants you to come back in. Anyone else you want to bring is okay." 

Linda patted Alfie's hand, "Come on, honey, lets go meet the baby." 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N2: Alfie mentions Huichol ropes. According to most historians, that wasn't an actual thing, just a wild story to sell souvenirs, but could have been real, maybe. Certainly funny in context, since Henry's being a meathead who probably wouldn't know what they are.
> 
>  
> 
> Doc's method of involving Kevin, having him, although totally unprepared, catch the baby? Read something like that in someone's birth story a long time ago, thought that was really cool. 
> 
>  
> 
> 'Ben was going to be a Sara,' I was supposed to be a boy. 'Ben was over 9lbs, the hospital baby shirts didn't fit,' that's my oldest. Second was born at home, only an ounce smaller, so I was already expecting to start in 0-3 size. 
> 
>  
> 
> Next chapter starts 6 weeks later! Catch you then, which will hopefully be soon, or not too long after Gishwhes!)


	49. Chapter 49

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: OMG GISHWHES HAPPENED... So tired, still!
> 
> Hoping I can wrap up this round in the next chapter, which is already in the works. Plans very firmly in place for a third bit that's going to end our saga, but I liked going back and writing out the meeting between Cas and Claire so much that the little one-shot snippets are absolutely going to happen as well. Bartlett's death, possibly another chunk of Linda and Alfie [he'll say her name when speaking to other people, but to her face, she's mom, did you notice?], definitely more awkward!Cas trying to dad and surprising himself by doing it well, I don't think we got enough of that just yet. Not entirely sure I want to get into the night Kevin doesn't remember. Up for suggestions.
> 
> Things are going to pick up around the end of the week. Maybe. If I'm not drowning in FEGVEP.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Love you all! FW )

* * *

Cas pulled the plastic package of diapers from the passenger seat and closed the car door, approaching the front door of the house quickly.

The door swung open quietly, and Alfie, a receiving blanket over his bare shoulder, and Mike's full head of fluffy, wispy black hair resting on it, greeted him with a motion to stay quiet. 

"Thanks." he whispered. 

"Where's your shirt?" Cas asked. 

"In the wash. Threw up the last bottle all over me." 

"Oh." Cas replied, stepping inside and closing the door softly, "How long are they going to be?" 

Alfie did his best not to shrug, "I dunno, but with the whole depression thing, I told them to at least go have a lunch out and let her clear her head after the appointment. Hopefully she'll get her nails done or something, she's miserable." 

Cas nodded, "Infants do require a lot of care, and she's still recovering. He does seem to have grown a lot in six weeks." 

"Yeah, well, he doubled the size he started at in the first three, and he just keeps getting bigger." Alfie replied as Mike started to fuss, "Aw, c'mon, Mikey, it's cool. You're swole. But you gotta sleep." 

"Have you tried swaddling him?" Cas asked. 

"What's that?" 

"It's a manner of wrapping a blanket around the baby tightly, mimicking the pressure they felt while still in the womb. I think it's still recommended." 

Alfie shrugged, "I don't think that would bother Margaret, worth a shot to get him to sleep." 

Cas spotted a basket of clean laundry with several receiving blankets on the couch and took one from the top of the stack, walking over to the crib near the opening of the hallway to Margaret's room. He had to admit there was some sense in having the crib in the main area of the house, even if he had found it odd the first time he'd visited. 

He lay the blanket out like a triangle, taking the child from Alfie, and soon had him wrapped snugly. Cas lifted the baby out of the crib again, keeping him horizontal, and giving him a mild bounce that seemed to calm him. 

"Certainly getting heavier. That's going to slow down soon... They have him sleep on his back, right?" 

"Yeah." Alfie replied, "He got onto his side one time, and she freaked out, ordered some special positioner online... So, how's Xander doing?" 

"Well, we've verified that it is depression, unfortunately it can manifest in reckless behavior in boys, so, it can be harder to spot. His doctor and a specialist are putting him on a mild anti-depressant, and we'll have to see how it goes." Cas replied. 

Mike's complaints had turned into a murmuring sound, and he was fighting to keep his eyes open. Alfie gestured to the tightly wrapped bundle in Cas' arms, "So, I guess you learned to do that with Claire?" 

"No, a friend's child. Claire never needed it. At least, not for the three weeks I had contact with her. Although occasionally around fifteen she'd cop an attitude that made me consider it." 

Alfie chuckled, "I bet." 

* * *

"Hairloss is normal in the two or three months after birth, if it gets really thin, I'd say just get a shorter cut until your hormones even out, but keep taking those prenatal vitamins, they're going to put back all the nutrients you lost through the pregnancy. Any full-on bald spots, though, I need to hear about it. But everything looks good." the obstetrician said, going over the chart in her hand.

"I want to get my tubes tied." Margaret said quietly. 

The doctor's eyebrows went up, "It's a little early to make a decision that big." 

"No, I'm a hundred percent. I want my tubes tied. Heck, my sister gets ovarian cysts, so, you could just take those out, too." Margaret replied. 

"What I mean is, you're only nineteen, you've only had one baby, and you're not married. What if you get married later on and your husband wants children?" she asked. 

"Holy shit." Kevin said softly from the other side of the room, "Man, doc, I thought you were cool, I mean, we came in here and you never said she needed to give up the baby, or worry about her future, or got all judgey because she doesn't believe in marriage, so we had a kid outside wedlock, you were totally empowering and supportive to both of us in this, but, damn... You're still just a perpetrator of mainstream sexism. You're putting what she wants to do with her own body in the hands of some unknown future male owner. Fuck that." 

The doctor pursed her lips and looked down, nodding slowly, seemingly thinking through everything Kevin had said before she looked up again, addressing Margaret directly, "I'm sorry... Too often, we make decisions at the expense of our future selves, and I'm not willing to take that option away from your future self. I'm happy to discuss long term birth control options-" 

"None of those completely failproof. I don't want another baby. I don't want to be pregnant ever again. I'm gonna be a stupid nun before letting this happen again, okay? I can't do this again!" Margaret answered, tears welling up in her eyes. 

"I'm sorry. I have had too many women in this very room crying because they couldn't get pregnant, or they couldn't carry to term, and while I'm happy to discuss IUDs and the like, I cannot go against my own better judgement and give you something I think you'll regret later." the doctor answered, hurrying out of the room. 

Kevin watched the door close behind her and turned back to the exam table to see Margaret bury her head in her hands as she started to sob. Quickly, he got up and crossed the room, wrapping her in his arms and kissing her cheek, "Hey... It's gonna be okay... I swear, I respect you too much to knock you up again." 

"It wasn't supposed to happen in the first place!" Margaret's muffled voice came from against his shoulder. 

"I know... Look, if you're sure you really can't go through all that again, that's fine. I believe you, and I'm with you in this. And I would absolutely make love to you in every other way possible every night from now till forever, and you won't ever have to worry about it again... Or, maybe, since I love knocking boots with you, I can get my tubes tied, which I would have suggested before we came in here if I knew you were gonna bring it up." Kevin said softly, rubbing her shoulders. 

"I can't ask you to do that." 

"Why not? It's less risky for guys, and easier to undo. Also, you can check it hasn't grown back a lot easier by just getting a cheap microscope. It's not gonna make me any less of a man to be shooting blanks. And then you wouldn't have to be on the pill, so, better libido, and no condoms- You know, I'm not really seeing a downside." 

"They cut into your ballsack." 

Kevin nodded, "Yeah, a little cut. With lots of drugs. Unlike you, with the freaking vaginal cannonball, and no drugs at all. It's the least I can do to try to pull my weight in this relationship." 

* * *

Cas nearly ran into Ben as he entered the kitchen, and had to dodge quickly to keep from knocking him over. Ben was carrying an open can of soda and had apparently bitten the ends off a twizzler to use it as a straw.

"That doesn't look healthy." Cas commented, earning only a shrug from Ben, "Did Xander come home on the bus with you?" 

"Yeah. Dad was helping him with homework, but they both started getting fed up, so they took a break to throw a football around. I think they forgot." 

Cas nodded, "Well, that's probably a good idea, but maybe adding a timer would be a good plan... Ben, you are aware that diabetes runs in your mother's family, aren't you?" 

"Um..." 

"Maybe we should all cut back the sodas for a while." 

Ben rolled his eyes, correctly predicting a sweep of the house for over-sugared products to occur soon, "I'll do better." 

"Thank you." Cas replied, stepping to the back door. Through the sliding glass he saw Dean make a wide pass that Xander barely caught before returning it with quite a bit of force. After hearing Xander's mother in tears during the conference call with the doctor that morning - thankfully, without Xander present - it did him good to see the child smile. 

He had called her back from the school parking lot after dropping Xander off, he'd done what he could to try to reassure her that the depression was in no way her fault, only a side effect of the struggle of recovering from injury, but she respectfully disagreed. She had told him how grateful she was to both him and Dean for taking such good care of Xander, but there was nothing he could say to make her believe the boy's condition wasn't her fault. 

He opened the door and stepped out onto the porch as Dean threw the ball again, "Okay, first president?" 

"Washington." Xander replied as he caught it, and threw it back. 

"Capital of North Carolina?" Dean asked, catching the ball. 

"Uh... Charleston?" 

"That's West Virginia." 

"Oh... North... Raleigh." 

"Good. Four times seven?" 

Cas watched the ball going back and forth as he listened to the questions get progressively harder. Dean would hint, but not by much, and when Xander couldn't answer one, he'd dial it back a bit. 

The exercise soon proved to be a bit much for Xander, but he'd had a far easier time answering the questions. They were roughly the same difficulty he'd been at a week or two before, but the answers had come easily. Xander carefully made his way up the steps past Cas, giving a short, distracted, and out-of-breath greeting as he went back inside. 

"I thought you were giving him a break on his homework by coming out here. I guess I was wrong... What was that?" 

Dean shrugged, "He's thinking too hard. The info is in there, he just can't get to it, and it makes him restless. What's worse, looks like his brain wants to move, and doesn't know his body's not up to it yet." Dean replied, "So you shut down the need-to-move signal by letting him, and relaxes enough to only use half his focus on the question, no fear of getting it wrong, suddenly he has it. Short bursts, also going to help get his energy back up. Also helps that he throws with his right hand, activating his left-brain physically, at the same time trying to access his right-brain memory-wise to come up with the answers." 

Cas shook his head, and lowered his voice, "You... I have been working with people with multiple Ph.D's trying to help him do that, and you figured it out playing catch?" 

Dean shrugged, "Hey, I got my G.E.D... Of course I've also got some basic knowledge on how the human body works, spotting different kinds of injuries, including brain stuff, and a whole lot of experience diagnosing mechanical problems through trial and error without making them worse, you combine those... Also I had a good idea what terms to use when I went digging online for what kind of therapy helps which behaviors and how to test them out." 

"Can you come to the school tomorrow and explain what you did and what he's doing for his teacher? I think she's about to throw in the towel." 

"Sure," Dean replied, tossing the football to Cas, stepping closer, "So, I did pretty good, huh?" 

"Amazing." Cas answered. 

"What does amazing get me?" 

"Well, I don't have a Nobel prize on me, but if you talk to the right people..." Cas said quietly, until he was close enough, and gave him a quick, rough, but promising kiss before heading inside. 

Dean nodded as Cas started for the door, "So, is Nobel prize code for-?" 

"Later." 

* * *

"...Saw your dad today." Alfie said softly, breaking the silence in the small, mostly still kitchen.

Claire had been particularly quiet for the first couple of weeks after the birth, and even though she was nearly back to her normal self again, she would slip back into extended periods of silence. Alfie didn't feel it was his place to ask, but he wondered regularly what was happening in her mind. 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah. Mike had like, two diapers left in the changing table, but his car seat was in Margaret's car. So, I sent your dad a text since he was taking off early for Xander's appointment." Alfie continued, "He did this crazy wrap with the blanket and Mike was out like a light... It was pretty cool, actually." 

Claire nodded, "Margaret hasn't said anything, how's she doing?" 

"Still having a rough time, but she seemed a lot more relaxed when they got home. And Linda's still coming by to keep Mike company so Margaret can get a shower in the mornings now that Kevin shifted his schedule." 

"God, this whole thing has been so hard for her. And she didn't even have, like, half that stuff go wrong like they talked about in the class, either. I don't get it." Claire said quietly. 

Alfie shrugged, "What's to get? She's got postpartum depression. It just kind of happens for some women, right? That's what Kevin said. Well, that's what Kevin said her doctor said. She should have an easier time getting through that part okay, though, since everything else went really well and she's getting treatment." 

Claire dropped her fork onto her plate, "I can't believe I ditched her like that." 

"You didn't do this." 

"I ran out." 

"She had Kevin with her, he told me there really wasn't that much difference between you being there or not at that point. It's not your fault, you needed to go... What if a nurse walked behind you and freaked you out? That would've been really bad, especially if that nurse was carrying Mike at the time." Alfie answered, "You did what you had to do, and even if you had been fine and stayed, she'd still be like this, it's a chemical reaction." 

"I abandoned her while she was in pain and scared, because I couldn't handle it... And you haven't asked me about it at all. I bet you don't want to think about it." 

"Why wouldn't I want to think about it?... I figured you'd talk if you wanted to." 

"Because if I could just run off when she was in labor, what's to keep me from doing it to someone else?" Claire asked. 

The air hung heavy around him as he tried, through physical motions to deny the question in his mind, shifting in his chair, giving a small shake of his head, "I don't... You just... Are we having a fight right now?" 

With a disgusted look, Claire got up from her chair rather abruptly and turned away from the table. She'd hardly gone a step when she felt his hand take hers in the lightest possible grasp from only his thumb and fingertips. 

"Claire, please, don't-" 

"'Don't?'.. 'Don't,' what? I can't even grab the damn tea pitcher from the fridge without you freaking out... So, what happens when I head for campus in the morning? Or do I even want to know? You sit here and convince yourself I'm coming back before you go to the shop?" 

"So, this is a fight?" Alfie questioned carefully. 

"No." Claire replied sternly, but without raising her voice, "This can't be a fight because you would never stand up to me. This is me, pissed off at the whole situation, and you, well... I don't know." 

Claire pulled her hand away with more force than necessary, which also happened to be barely any, and quickly walked to the refrigerator. 

"Did you want me to ask?... Because I wanted to ask, I just wasn't sure if that would be, you know, too much in your business." Alfie said, a bit louder, fighting back an impulse to stand and follow her, despite the short distance. 

Claire pulled plastic jug from the bottom shelf and went back to the table, sitting down with an aire of attitude, determined to finish her meal, "What I _want,_ is for you not to be scared to ask me in the first place. But no matter what I do, anything gets even a little bit difficult, or weird, and you're suddenly secretly building mansions, or something, running around buying up huge tracts of land, and then-" 

"Huge tracts of land?" Alfie asked. 

"Yeah, the whole-... I just did the thing again." 

"Accidental python, yeah." Alfie replied with a chuckle. 

Claire rolled her eyes, "Don't giggle about it, I'm still angry!" 

"Yeah, I know. Just, if the place up the road sinks into the swamp-" 

"C'mon." 

"I can build another one. And if that one-" 

"Alfie." 

"Yeah?" 

Claire gave him a very serious look, "If you're scared to ask me questions, or stand up to me sometimes, that's not healthy..." 

"I don't have anything to stand up to you about. You're good to me." Alfie replied. 

"What if I'm not good for you, though? I mean, I wouldn't know, right? And you'd be too focused on keeping me happy... Even that sounds terrible." 

Alfie looked concerned, "So, what does all of that mean?" 

"What if... If I'm such a mess that I just drag you down with me?" Claire's voice came out quietly. 

A mental image Alfie had been suppressing flashed through his mind of a lifeless man tied to an anchor, sinking in an endless black sea. 

"And what if," Claire continued, "We're just both too messed up to see it?" 

Alfie nodded slowly, "Okay... But what if we're both sick, and we're each other's medicine? Because it seems to me, that's a lot more likely." 

Claire started to shake her head, but Alfie sat up straighter and reached for her hand. 

"Think about it. We don't tear each other down like that. When's the last time you were actually mad at me? I've seen a bad relationship, okay? This isn't it." 

"Great." Claire replied sarcastically, "So, you know really bad, basically that means you don't have a good idea what a good one looks like. Hell, neither do I." 

"Okay, fine. Um, sex, for example." 

"What, here on the table?" 

Alfie ignored her snark, quite jaded to it at this point, "You only knew the worst of it, right? So, how do you know I'm not taking advantage of you?" 

"Because I'm the one taking advantage of you, most of the time." 

Alfie shrugged, "Okay, it's a gray area. Can't be sure, so obviously, we should just stop." 

"That's not what I meant, but if you want to stop-" 

"I don't think you could." Alfie chuckled. 

"We can stop. We can just stop, and that won't happen anymore." 

"Yeah. Okay. We could do that." Alfie replied with a hint of a smile and a shrug. 

In half a moment, Claire spoke again, "But that's not what this is about." 

"Right, no, this is about... Actually, I'm not even sure." Alfie said quietly, "So, now what?" 

"I don't know." Claire replied. 

Alfie steeled himself for the lie he knew was coming, "I know. I know, because if I ever thought I was bad for you, I would leave. I wouldn't stick around and keep treating you like that. So, you can't honestly tell me you think you're that bad for me, because you're still here." 

Deep down, though, he knew the only thing he couldn't do was walk away. Not from her. 

"Look, I just can't keep worrying about you worrying about it." 

"So ask me. I'm not worried." Alfie replied, granted, another lie, "But that's not all this is. It's clear as day you're having trouble dealing with the whole birth thing... Are you still going to that counselor?" 

Claire shook her head, "Not since I moved out." 

"What about as an individual patient? Would he do that?" 

Claire shrugged, "I guess, but-..." 

"What?" 

"Well, if I go, and it gets into relationship stuff, would you go, too?" 

"What? And wind up with a more solid and healthy, and, y'know, lasting relationship? Why would I want that?" Alfie teased, "Yeah, of course I'd go with you. Like you even have to ask." 

* * *

Cas' arms tightened around Dean's shoulders, and Dean could taste himself on Cas' lips even now, as Cas leaned heavily on the shower wall, Dean's hand continuing to move. Quiet sounds of frenzied surrender and deep pleasure echoed from the back of his throat, masked by the noise of the water.

Dean kept going until Cas leaned back with a gasp, his hot fluids spraying against Dean's bare thigh, and quickly carried away by the warm water. Cas gave a relieved moan before pulling Dean closer for another kiss. 

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas tightly, holding, and being held, water pooling between their bodies. 

"You're gonna sleep good tonight." 

"So will you." 

The hushed voices soon gave way to a squeak as the water was turned off, and towels were sought. It wasn't long before they were both back in the bedroom, and donning minor sleepwear. 

"You know, you worry any harder," Dean's voice was barely a whisper in the darkened room, "That crease in your forehead is gonna start digging into your skull." 

"The medications could increase his chance of hurting himself intentionally." 

"So could not medicating him. Most studies in the last fifty years are pick-and- choose anyway. Bunch of corrupt bullshit." Dean replied, stretching slightly before getting into the bed. 

"What if the doctors are wrong?" 

"We watch him, and we listen. He might be down in the dumps right now, but he knows he's safe here." 

Cas shook his head, "Just, after the reaction Claire had to that last prescription..." 

"Cas, you gotta relax. You worry too much about what might happen, you might start seeing problems where there aren't any, decide something's a bad reaction and take him off too fast, cause some serious after-affects. Just try to relax." Dean replied, "Besides, I looked up everything I could find on it this afternoon before he even got home, it's one of the safest." 

"There are safer?" Cas asked, laying down next to him. 

Dean rolled onto his side, "Do I need to get your attention the way you get my attention so that I can sleep?" 

Cas scoffed, "I already let you shut me up once this evening." 

* * *


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: Um, mild violence, little tiny graphic description of an injury...
> 
> Another 50 chapters! Damn. That is prolific...
> 
> Going to work on some short deleted scenes stuff, so if you're following the stories, you may want to go to the 'series,' and follow that instead. I'm nowhere near ready to start posting the third major chunk story. But my kids are going back to school today, so, everything is going to pick up fast! 
> 
> Thanks for sharing this AU with me! You guys keep me rolling! 
> 
> FythyrWisp)

* * *

"Okay, Mr Tran... You're here for a consultation... For a vasectomy? And you aren't yet twenty."

Kevin shrugged, "Yeah." 

"We don't normally-" 

"Look, how long's this gonna be?" 

"Mr Tran, sterilizing yourself is no small matter." the doctor said, sitting down on the rolling stool with his clipboard. 

"Yeah, but knocking up side chick after side chick is gonna piss off the main bitch, and I already got one little shit machine draining my bank. So, assuming I don't get locked up like a few of my bros - and, you know, if I do, who's gonna handle 'em? - it's this, or bringing an assload of the fucking little maggots into the world. And I ain't paying child support. So really, what's a responsible guy to do, right?" 

* * *

The door swung shut behind Kevin, and Alfie looked up from the couch. Alfie had his feet on the coffee table, and Mike was reclined on his lap, awake and happy.

"I got the go-ahead, I'm scheduled." Kevin announced. 

"How the hell did you manage that?" Alfie asked. 

Kevin shrugged, heading straight to the fridge, "By embodying everything I hate... Now I feel like I need to take a shower, scrub my soul out with bleach, and publicly apologize for our entire gender." 

Alfie immediately cupped his hands over Mike's ears, "Whoa! Hey! Positive stuff only, right? You're gonna invoke the wrath of mom." 

"Like he's gonna repeat it?" Kevin replied, grabbing a soda and going back to the living room, dropping over the back of the couch to sit next to Alfie, carefully taking Mike from him, "Hey, squishy... Don't rat me out, okay? All I meant was, some people aren't that awesome. You're awesome." 

Mike answered him with a quiet sound, studying Kevin's face carefully. 

"She get out the door in time?" Kevin asked quietly, adjusting Mike's socks. 

"Yeah, she left early. She said she wanted to go talk to someone about forcing this professor into letting her do the test she missed while she was still in the hospital." Alfie replied, getting up, "Wrote everything down, so, if you guys are good, I'm headed out." 

"Yeah, we're good. Oh, wait, any news from your uncle?" Kevin asked. 

Alfie shuddered, but managed to cover it with a shake of his head, "No?" 

"Okay, just if you hear from him, give me a head's up if he's gonna send me one of those emails for scheduling a conference call." 

Alfie nodded, stifling a sudden onset of fear at the idea of contact from his uncle, "Sure... See you later... Oh, wait, Claire wanted to see if you guys want to come hang out for a bit at our place, have dinner, get out of the house." 

"Yeah, sounds good, I'll check with Margaret when she gets back." 

The door soon sounded once more as Alfie left, leaving Kevin alone in the large, quiet house with his son. He listened to the quiet cooing for a few minutes, then sat Mike up on his lap, the baby's head wobbling as he moved, "Okay, well, you're awake... I said we'd go look at the tree out back, didn't I? You're gonna like that. Trees are cool. Well, contrary to some really freaky lullabies." 

Mike's expression changed significantly to one of concern and surprise before he managed a small smile, with a vigorous flap of his hand. Kevin smiled back, and gently started to press Mike's round cheeks to deform his face slightly, trying to mimic what he was seeing on his own face, but adding sticking out his tongue. 

Kevin chuckled, "I dunno why she hates that, you think it's cool." 

He pulled his hands away and pulled Mike to his shoulder as he stood up, "Okay, lets go see that tree before you start freaking out for your next round of sleep." 

* * *

After the third IEP meeting in as many weeks, Dean finally made it to the shop, grateful to see the Chevelle parked further off at Claire's.

He went in through the office, quietly, and started to sign in at the empty front desk, voices coming from the office. 

"I'm serious, Claire, it's life or death." 

"It'll wait until I'm off the phone." Claire replied. 

"No, it can't." Lucas replied, "I'm in love with you." 

"No, you're high." Claire answered, "You've been smoking pot, and it's the good stuff, which means you didn't get it in this town." 

"Tell me something I don't know." Lucas scoffed. 

"You're gay." Claire replied. 

"I am n-!... Wait... What?" 

"Gay as a fucking rainbow. Everybody knows. You're the only one who doesn't seem to get it. Now, please, get the hell out of here, I've got an insurance company to argue with." 

Lucas turned around, finding himself face to face with Dean's chest, "Um... So, everybody?" 

"Yep. Bad cover, too." Dean replied, "Congratulations. Next Thanksgiving, bring your, uh, 'roommate.'" 

Lucas gave a befuddled nod, "Okay." 

"And go hang out somewhere outside until that shit wears off, you come in high again, you're fired." 

Lucas started toward the garage, but turned back around, "Wait, so, when I asked about picking up chicks, and you said 'don't be you...'?" 

Dean rolled his eyes, and called down the hallway past him, "Randy?"

"Yeah?" the answer came back. 

"Didn't come out on his own, I owe you a case of beer." Dean called again, before going into the small office and closing the door. He turned around and sat down in the empty chair, waiting as Claire was taken off hold, and began an intense conversation with one of the lower level corporate representatives. 

The last few times he'd attempted to bring up the issue with the company, a smaller company, who'd suggested he find corners to cut, he'd lost his temper, and had to end the call. They didn't want to cover certain repairs, and had made the suggestion that he look the other way, putting an unsafe vehicle on the road, saving them money, and subsequently lining his own pockets. 

Claire's conversation soon became heated, as he listened intently, gathering what he could from her side. He waited patiently until she'd ended the call, and sat back in the desk chair. 

"You sure you don't want to go into politics? Sort out the world a little, maybe?" 

Claire shook her head, "No. I'd never get a break, it'd be this crap, all day long... We're going to wait until the contract is up, then we're dropping these guys. They'll throw a bundle at you, don't take it." 

"Yeah, I had a feeling is was going to go that way. They fire the last guy?" Dean asked. 

"Like they said they would? No. He's the one they tried to get me to talk to, first." Claire answered. 

"Okay, well, good job. I guess we'll keep you around a while longer, even if you are a girl." Dean said with a hint of teasing. 

"You think you could keep this place running without me?" Claire asked. 

Dean shrugged, "I'd try." 

* * *

"I have to tell you something." Ivan whispered against Julie's ear.

She'd been able to get home early, and Cyndi had been exhausted from daycare, still napping when Ivan had gotten home. From the silence outside of the bedroom, she assumed Cyndi was still napping. 

"Yeah?" Julie asked, rolling over to face him, still wrapped in his arms. 

"Um, yesterday morning, we were watching cartoons, and- well, she's smart, you know that, and she... She's making these connections, okay?" 

"Connections?" 

"The cartoon was talking about kids and parents... She called me dad." 

"She did?" 

"I know we said we were just going to think about it, but I didn't know what to say, what you'd want me to-" 

"No." 

Ivan froze, staring at her, concerned he'd overstepped some boundary by not correcting Cyndi, worried what Julie would say, even as she seemed to be considering her next words. 

Julie shrugged, "It's, um... She's right, right?" 

"I just..." 

"We've talked about it, we just, you know, and, well, if she called it... I mean, if it's that obvious to a toddler, then maybe we're just... you know?" 

Ivan nodded, still overwhelmed, his thoughts racing as Julie leaned in close and kissed him before sitting up, reaching to the foot of the bed for her clothes. 

"So, it's okay?" Ivan asked quietly. 

"Yeah." Julie replied, "It's okay... It's just weird to think she's old enough to know what that is, and, well... I guess if she wants us all to be a family as much as we do, then we know, right?" 

Ivan gently traced the skin at the top of her hip with the pads of his fingers as she pulled her shirt on over her head, "So, now what?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"Well, just, what's next?" 

Julie shrugged, "Well, there's the hard part... I mean, from the way you were talking before, it sounded like you'd want people to think she's yours... But that won't work." 

"It could. Dark hair, and she didn't get those earlobes from you, but she looks enough like me." 

"Ivan, the day we met, I was already pregnant. And I didn't turn eighteen until right before she was born... You let people think that, then-..." 

"Oh, sure. Don't want to ruin my rep." Ivan chuckled. 

"Getting busted for pot in another state is completely different than knocking up an underage girl and then... Then ignoring her and the baby for the better part of two years... And... I mean, when she's older, is it going to be easier to hear you're not her real dad, or have one of those loudmouth hags tell her you only came around and took responsibility when she could walk?" 

Ivan sat up next to her, taking a deep breath and letting it out, "Both suck... Still, nobody's business. So... I dunno, however you want to do this, it's cool. Anywhere on the whole spectrum, you know? Unofficial, put my name on her birth certificate, or, hell, we can get married. Just give me a head's up if I need to be somewhere and sign something... And you know what? I wasn't ignoring you. Hell, from an outsider's point of view, it could even look like you were the one taking awhile to come around, and I was, uh, respectfully trying to get you to let me in." 

"But the stuff people are going to tell her-" 

"People are going to say anything they want, you can't stop that, they already do. Inside these four walls, though, that's home, that's where.. well, _we_ raise her, and we... God, this is weird..." Ivan chuckled softly and bit his lip. 

Julie ducked her head, unable to hide a grin, "I think it's sweet... That she kind of picked you." 

"Well, actually, I picked you, first. Just, she's part of that... Shit, we gotta start saving for college for her." 

"Are you serious? I just barely okay'd you being her dad, and already you're-" 

"Oh, yeah. Next, over-scheduled vacations, fanny packs, socks and sandals, and dad-jokes." 

"No, none of that. That's not okay." Julie giggled. 

Ivan kissed her softly, stroking her back, "So, this summer, this tour I got signed on for... Three months. You sure you're going to be okay?" 

"Yeah." Julie said with a nod, "Video chats, we'll make it work." 

* * *

Henry sat at the curb four houses down, and watched closely as Kevin's car backed out of the garage. Through the binoculars he could make out the shape of the handle of an infant seat in the back, and his daughter in the front, next to Kevin.

He started the car, waiting until they'd pulled to the stop sign at the corner before he began to follow. 

* * *

Kevin had the oddest feeling that he was being watched as the buildings grew sparser at the edge of town, but he hadn't been able to place why. He'd tried to chat with Margaret to distract himself, but the farther they went down the highway, the worse it got.

There was another car, about a quarter mile behind them, but too far away to make out in the dimming light. 

He made the turn, pulling past the first gate, and into the second on the drive that led to the small house, quickly swinging around into the junk yard and behind a wreck, turning the lights off. 

"What the hell are you doing?" Margaret asked, worried. 

"Hang on, give me a second." Kevin replied, pulling out his phone. 

As he expected, a car pulled in through the second driveway. 

Holding the phone to his ear, he listened to it ring as he explained, "Somebody followed us out here." 

"Maybe just picking up at the shop." 

"No. They would have gone to the first gate." 

"Shit... It's probably my parents again." Margaret replied. 

"Hey, you home, or just Claire?" Kevin asked into the phone, "Okay, listen, I'm parked in the junkers, you have somebody else in your driveway, so-... Yeah. I don't want to chance it." 

Margaret turned in her seat as they both heard a car door slam, quickly followed by a screen door. 

* * *

"Hey, Claire?" Alfie asked from the edge of the kitchen.

She turned around to find him puzzling over a pistol, his phone to his ear, "What are you doing?" 

"Um, how do you check if this is loaded?" 

"There's going to be a baby here any minute and you're messing around with a gun?" Claire asked. 

"No, they're here, but so is someone else, probably her dad." 

"Great. So, we go threaten him and get arrested? Dean's the only one around with a permit." 

Alfie shrugged, "It's private property, in a red state, he's trespassing." 

Claire turned off the stove and moved toward him quickly, taking the pistol, "Okay, give me that... Just don't take too long bailing me out." 

* * *

Margaret craned her neck, "What do you mean 'Claire's getting a gun?' No guns!"

"Just give them a minute, he'll think he had the wrong car, and leave." 

"Unless it goes off! Then what? What if somebody gets shot?" 

Kevin shrugged, "If Claire shoots your dad, is it really that big a deal?" 

Margaret gave him a firm slap on the shoulder. 

"Sorry, yeah, shouldn't've gone there, look, it's just, he beat the shit out of Samandriel, he tracked my mom's car, now this? He's just proving over and over that he's not a safe person. So she's packing. She wouldn't actually shoot anybody. She's mentally stable. Well, mostly." 

"This is bullshit. Stay with Mike." Margaret replied, dropping back into her seat and throwing her door open. 

"Wait! Margaret, don't, just stay here a second, I'll go." 

"No. He's my dad, you let me handle it." 

"I can't! We're a team, right?" Kevin protested, but it had clearly fallen on deaf ears as Margaret swung the door shut, and started marching toward the house, "Shit... Oh, shit... Great. Can't take you out there, can't leave you here, can't let her go alone... Any ideas, squishy?" 

Mike was silent, the only sound coming from a rattling toy attached across the bar of his car seat. 

Kevin pulled out his phone, and called the twenty-four hour towing line for the shop, knowing it was also Dean's cell phone. 

* * *

Margaret rounded the corner to find an argument between Alfie and her father, Claire standing nearby, looking oddly relaxed in a very chilling way.

"Or what? You'll record me, again, you cowardly little shit?" Henry was yelling, getting as close to Alfie's face as he could without actually making contact, "This is family business, and you're sticking your nose where it doesn't belong! Nobody is getting between me, and my daughter and grandkid!" 

"She doesn't want to see you. Maybe you should ask yourself why." Alfie replied forcefully. 

"I am her father! And she-!" 

"She's an adult, and wants you nowhere near her child because you're a fucking psychopath!" Alfie responded, his voice growing harder and louder. 

Margaret fought her instinct to refer to him as her father, "Hey, shit-head!" 

Henry Danes spun around to find his daughter, the spitting image of feminine fury wrapped up in five-feet-two-inches of pissed off walking toward him, "I will deal with you in a minute-" 

"No. You're gonna deal with me now. Get your stupid ass back in your ugly fucking car, and go home. I'm moving to Pittsburgh." 

Henry looked startled for a moment, at a loss for words. 

"Or Seattle, or Miami, I don't know, but I clearly can't live here. Not with you in town. You're just going to keep pushing until someday you're gonna push too far, and me, or someone I actually love is gonna wind up dead, or I'm gonna snap and kill you. So I'm leaving. You finished driving me away, I hope you're happy." 

As the child of a former law enforcement officer, it wasn't difficult for her to see that it was in fact Claire who had the gun, not Alfie, and Margaret had a good guess from her stance that she'd tucked it under her left elbow to keep it out of sight inside the light jacket she wore. 

Margaret circled him at a distance, moving to stand close to Claire, and cringed as she heard the door of Kevin's car, knowing he would never be able to do as she'd asked and stay put. She shook her head, looking at her father with anger, "You realize how bad this is? I'm scared to leave the house because of you! I am so fucking tired of this! You wanted me gone, I'm gone, now leave me alone!" 

"I busted my ass to raise you girls! I risked my life to put food on the table and a roof over your head, Maggie-" 

"Margaret! It's just Margaret! Means pearl, you put it on my fucking birth certificate- No, you know what? Don't fucking call me anything! I'm done with you!" 

"We're family! You have to show some respect." Henry replied, getting closer. 

"Not anymore! You burned that bridge, not me! I don't need your bullshit power trips." Margaret yelled. 

Henry, moving on instinct, reached out in one quick motion, and slapped her, stepping back in surprise at his own action, only to find Claire's cool gaze coming at him over the barrel of the pistol. He turned his attention to Claire, "You better put that damn thing down, and get your ass in the house before I call the cops." 

"Call 'em." Claire replied, "I'll wait." 

Footsteps crunched gravel, and Kevin, carrying the car seat, appeared around the same corner Margaret had emerged from. 

Henry hurried toward him as Margaret reached for Claire's arm, keeping her aim away from Kevin and the baby. Kevin walked quickly past him even as Henry changed course, trying to reach for the car seat. Kevin dodged him, hurrying toward the house, and Alfie attempted to get closer to block him, but Henry managed to get hold of the handle, and gave it a hard yank. 

"Let go!" Kevin growled. 

"You can get the kid back in a week. The baby needs time to get to know the whole family. You don't get to keep our family member all to yourself. That baby is a part of the Danes family." 

"You're not taking my son anywhere, now let go." 

Margaret grasped the top of the gun, snatching it from Claire's hand... 

* * *

Dean answered the unfamiliar number, "Singer Automotive, this is Dean."

Kevin's voice came through in a rush, as he was clearly preoccupied, "Dean, it's Kevin, can you get to Claire's, like, uh, right now?" 

"What?" 

"Long story. She's got a gun, just get here, okay? And maybe call the cops. I gotta go." 

The line went dead suddenly, and Dean blinked in confusion at his phone screen for a moment. 

"Cas?" Dean called up the stairs, "Honey, can you come talk to me outside for a minute?" 

Ben, who was sitting on the couch with Xander, watching a movie, caught a hint of strain in Dean's voice, and looked over the back of the couch at his father, "What's going on?" 

"Probably nothing. Just gotta check on something, stay in the house. Both of you. I mean that." Dean turned back around as Cas came downstairs, "We're just gonna go walk over to Claire's for a minute." 

Cas followed Dean out the front door, "What's going on?" 

Turning from the front walk onto the road, Dean answered in a hushed voice, quickening his steps, "Kevin said to get over there fast, something about a gun." 

"What? What else did he say?" 

"I don't know, it was kind of a jumble, let's just get over there." Dean replied. 

"Was it an animal?" 

"No. He said to maybe call the cops." 

"Maybe call? Then, did you?" 

"No." 

"Why not?" 

Dean shrugged, "I just, um-" 

"We may not want to?" 

"We don't have the whole story." 

Cas shook his head, "I should call her." 

"We'll be there in a minute." 

"A lot can happen in a minute, Dean." 

Their pace quickened further, and as they rounded the bend of the road, they could hear raised voices. Soon, they came into the driveway through the gate, only to find an unfamiliar vehicle, and the group clustered near the house. 

One person stood out, obviously out of place and out numbered, but unrelenting. Henry held onto the handle of Mike's car seat tight enough Dean wondered if the plastic might snap in his grip. 

"Hey!" Dean called, crossing the distance quickly, "What the hell is this?" 

"Attempted kidnapping." Kevin replied loudly. 

"It's not kidnapping! That's my grandson!" Henry replied, still refusing to let go. The shaking from his attempts to remove the child from Kevin had started Mike crying. 

Margaret was approaching slowly, with a pistol pointed at the ground, and grabbed the top edge of the seat, "Stop it! You're shaking him!" 

"He's fine!" Henry bellowed. 

"Look." Dean said loudly, coming up behind Henry, causing Henry to look around, trying to set eyes on him, "I own this place, you're not welcome here, get lost, and you don't have to go to jail, okay?" 

Cas had his phone out, already dialing the emergency line. 

"No, I'll go with my grandchild, or not at all. You just tell this selfish bastard to let go." 

"You're making a big mistake." Dean said softly, "Margaret, c'mon, give me the gun. We don't want to do that." 

"Maggie, don't you dare. If this asshole tries to shoot me, he's dead, you got that?" Henry said. 

"I'm not shooting anybody. Cas, call." Dean said firmly, taking the gun as Margaret held it out to him carefully. 

Henry yanked the seat again, "Tran, you let go right now, and I don't send my buddies over to check your mom's house for drugs at two a.m. every night this week, okay? Because even when they get here, nobody's gonna care, they're not going to do a damn thing to me, except set me up to take the kid permanently, because neither one of you are going to be able to take care of a baby." 

"The more you talk, the more sure I am your wife fucked the milkman." Kevin answered. 

Enraged that his threat had no effect, Henry reached under his shirt tail with his free hand and pulled a compact handgun, pointing it directly at Kevin's face, adjusting his stance wider, "Let go." 

Margaret stepped forward, shoving his elbow skyward, and stomping her foot into the side of his locked knee with every ounce of her weight. The gun went off as he clenched his fist in response to the pain, as his leg buckled at an unnatural angle. 

Kevin stepped back quickly, passing the carrier to Alfie, and reaching for Margaret as Dean moved to take Henry's gun. Alfie hurried into the house with the carrier, throwing a questioning look at Claire, who only shrugged. 

Cas was rattling off information into the phone and confirming that there had been a gunshot, but that the person in question had been subdued, and no one had been injured from the bullet. 

Gasping in pain, Henry turned to sit, taking hold of his leg as Dean set Henry's gun on the porch. 

"Claire, watch this for me." Dean said, before second guessing himself and passing her the other gun as well, "Shoot him if he gets close." 

"Yep." Claire replied. 

Dean went back to Henry, getting to the ground to get a look at his knee. A piece of shattered bone had torn through both skin and denim, and a large patch of red was forming around the wound. 

"Who the hell are you, anyway, asshole?" Henry asked with a pained groan. 

"Nobody important." Dean replied. 

"Bullshit." Kevin said firmly, gesturing to both Dean and Cas, "These two assholes right here? They're family. They get the job you could have had, if you weren't... Well, 'you' is the best insult I've got."

Kevin turned away, putting an arm around Margaret, and started toward the house, but Henry spoke again, "Maggie? You can't just leave me here bleeding in the dirt!" 

Margaret shrugged, and with a growl, answered him clearly, "Walk it off." 

* * *

Dean paced quietly on the front porch, bouncing Mike gently, trying to soothe him as Margaret stood several yards away with Kevin, speaking to two deputies strongly suggesting she would drop the changes later, and shouldn't make them go to the trouble of the paperwork in the first place.

"No. I want him out of my life, this has to stop." Margaret said firmly. 

"Miss, your father was a cop, if he does time-" 

"He shook my baby! He only came here to kidnap him! He put a loaded gun to my boyfriend's face! I'm pressing every charge you've got!" 

"Miss, you need to calm down." one of the deputies replied in a fairly threatening manner. 

"Okay, okay, no, chill out, she's calm... Just, um... Call Sheriff Mills, get her here. We won't talk to you anymore." Kevin said dismissively. 

"He's gonna get killed, you get that, right?" the other deputy spoke up, "You send your dad in there, he's gonna die. Brutally."

"Maybe. Maybe not." Margaret answered, "Maybe he should have thought about that before he followed me out here." 

"Is that true?" Alfie asked softly from just behind the screen door. 

"Sometimes... I mean, if it doesn't get out, he might be okay. But he'd have to break every bit of ex-cop behavior to do it." Dean replied quietly, "But it's either that, or she drops the charges. And Kevin's right, this guy's losing his shit, it's only going to get worse... Kind of surprised he didn't drop Kevin right there, as sane as he was acting." 

"But if it gets him killed, or if it'll probably get him killed, then how is that the right thing to do?" 

"Margaret and Kevin deserve to live their lives, they aren't hurting anybody. He shook a baby and put a loaded gun to your friend's face, he doesn't deserve the chance to try this shit again. He made a choice to attack, if that choice ends in his death, he might have it coming. But if Margaret drops the charges, she's giving him permission to try to finish the job... Now, she's got a good heart, she's putting a brave face on right now, but it's gonna break her to do this, she's only doing it because she's keeping Kevin and the baby safe. She's gonna need support." 

"You sound pretty sure of that." 

"Yeah. That's her dad. No matter what he does, to her, to the ones she loves, that's still her dad." 

"...Your dad, huh?" 

"Yeah." 

Alfie nodded, "Sorry." 

Dean shook his head, "Karma. Bastard had his coming. The only thing we can do, is do better than the people who hurt us." 

With a guilty look Dean didn't catch, Alfie turned away. 

* * *

Claire turned over to find Alfie's eyes open in the dim moonlight, staring at the ceiling.

"Contracted my insomnia again?" Claire whispered. 

Alfie turned his head to look at her, "I guess." 

"You've been really quiet all week." 

"Yeah, just, had a lot on my mind." 

"So stop thinking." 

Alfie smiled slightly, but shook his head. 

"'Kay, then I guess I'll have to distract you." 

"You're really good at that." Alfie replied. 

Claire kissed him softly, shifting closer, moving to straddle his hips as his hands roamed her thighs. Her hair fell around her face, and every familiar thing he loved about her flooded his senses. She had said something, but as often happened in the middle of the night when she'd initiate things, he couldn't focus well enough to figure out what she'd whispered in his ear. 

"What?" 

"I said your hands are too tight." 

He looked down on instinct, although he couldn't see anything past her bare breasts in the dark, and realized he was gripping her waist tight enough to be painful. 

Suddenly it didn't seem like such a good idea, but she seemed happy. That was all he had to offer the world at this point, keeping Claire happy. He loosened his grip and she kissed him again, her soft breasts falling against his chest as she shifted to adjust her position. 

His body responded to hers even as his mind drifted, and she caught his hardening member between them, giving him a delicate pressure to twitch against as it grew. 

"I love you, too." she whispered. 

He recalled his lips moving, but hadn't kept track of his words. Everything was hazy. He hadn't been particularly interested, but it would take something monumental weighing on him to turn her down. 

Alfie closed his eyes as she gave a slow grind of her hips, sliding against him, well aware the action did far more for her than it did for him, but still reveling in the motion. 

Claire soon raised her hips and sank down around him slowly, soft and warm, giving small sounds he wished he could turn into splashes of color in the darkness. 

She sat up, taking him in deeply as she pushed her hair back, a sight that never failed to flip a fairly primal switch somewhere inside him, but in the dim grays, blues, and black of the room, suddenly he saw her bound in chains to an anchor, and slipping quickly away from him. 

Alfie was gripped in panic and sat up immediately, throwing his arms around her, "Sorry... I gotta stop, I can't do this right now." 

Claire froze, and realized he was shaking slightly, "What? What's wrong?" 

She could feel it as he shook his head, unaware how filled he was with self-loathing and disgust at everything about him that didn't involve her, "Just... bad dreams. Don't worry about it." 

Claire moved slowly as she slipped off of him, staying on his lap, as his arms seemed to turn to stone around her ribs, "Alfie?... Hey... Can't breathe... Are you crying?" 

"I'm sorry... I just really need to stop." 

"Yeah, it's okay... I mean, you've stopped for me a million times. We're stopped." Claire said softly, "And I'm not going anywhere, I promise." 

"Thank you." Alfie whispered against her skin. 

Claire ran her hand across the back of his shoulders, "So... still my girlfriend?" 

She felt Alfie nod as his breathing seemed to slow, "Yeah, still your girlfriend." 

Claire squeezed him tighter, "Alfie... Not right now, but, eventually... Will you marry me?" 

"Yes." he replied, almost automatically, even as he wiped an eye and gave a slight sniffle, "Tomorrow?" 

"Later than that." she replied. 

"How about next week?" 

Claire chuckled, "How about in a couple of years, maybe? Let me get my graduation out of the way, okay?" 

She felt him nod again, "Okay... I can wait... But, um... Is it okay if I take your last name?" 

"Well, that seems fair, since I'm the one asking." 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N2: Adding this note in case you missed it - The sequel has begun! The third installment, Stained and Unashamed is up, and I am working on Chapter 3 as we speak.)


End file.
